Teach Me Tonight
by sandy2x400
Summary: The wind blew and the rain fell, but you still felt safe. After all, you have Shane, and how many girls can say that. The problem is, not only is he your dance teacher, he's eighteen and no one wants you together. Smitchie. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

"**Did you say I've got a lot to learn? Well babe, don't think I'm trying not to learn." Teach Me Tonight - Ella Fitzgerald **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter One

The night grows colder as you walk briskly down the multicolored leaf coated path, and you indistinctively wrap your arms tighter around your thin body as you try to be discreet. Your breath is shaky and definitely visible, but you march along determinedly as your lips turn a soft blue and your face shines red with the wind. But it's worth it. This has been the fortieth time you have walked down this path in the last month since you arrived at this camp, your mother long forgotten. You know for sure. You've counted.

It's like a drug. An addiction that will haunt you for the rest of your life, but you are certain you want it with you forever. Your step quickens as you start to see the dark outline of a cabin you've wished time and time again was closer to your own. You shake your head as you try to convince yourself the reason you're almost running to the cabin is because of the cold.

But you know it's because of him.

You know that the faster you could have him again, the better you'll be. The cabin is at reach finally, and you thank God once again for the fact he has no roommates. Then again, it is _him._ Your feet seem to move faster as your breath comes out harder and harder. Your destination is so close; you can almost feel him already. The wind picks up again, making you shiver harshly as you go up the wooden stairs. You take a deep ragged breath before knocking two sharp times on the door. It opens immediately, and before you realize what is going on, you are pulled in and slammed against the inside wall, the door already closed. You briefly thank God again for the warmth, but the thought disappears as you realize a pair of lips are on yours and hands are pulling your jacket off.

You moan as you relish in the warmth of his body as he presses up against you, and cry out when his hands go under your new shirt, already unclasping your light pink bra. He presses himself against you roughly, and you can feel his entire body. His hard muscular chest is pushed up against your soft breasts, a feeling you love so immensely. You gasp into the kiss as he sweeps his tongue inside your mouth, exploring you. The jacket falls to the floor in a haze as he halfway rips the shirt of your back, and your mouths momentarily separate to pull it over your head. The undeniable site of lust in his darkened eyes make you shiver, as you take in his messy long hair and his harsh breath. You can only imagine how you look. He immediately yanks your bra off, exposing your breasts to his hungry eyes, and you try to cover yourself but his eyes narrow at you. You sigh as his hand softly grabs your breast and pinches you as he keeps eye contact with you.

He smiles when you moan again, your legs buckling. His hand slide down your body sensually, before reaching the soft skirt you are wearing. He smirks and looks you straight in your eyes, and roughly unbuttons it. You breathe in harshly as it slides down your cold legs in a heap. He steps close to you again, pressing his body against your basically naked one, still smirking. His fingers hook around the edges of your pink panties, before he slowly goes down to his knees, bringing the underwear down with him. He is hit with your scent as soon as he is leveled with your sex, and smiles as you whimper softly as he hooks his hand around the back of your knee. He gently puts it on his shoulder, exposing your damp slit to his face. You start to breathe heavily as your hands snake to his messy curling hair. A flick of his tongue and you swear you see fire. With his finger, he softly teases your sensitive nub, while his tongue slowly explores your folds.

"Oh!" you moan, your hands tightening roughly in his hair. He winces slightly, but continues teasing you with his tongue and finger. Moving away for a second, he slips a finger from your clitoris to your wet opening. You yelp at the sudden entrance, as he appreciates your tightness. He softly wiggles his finger inside you, his mouth going back to your nub, flicking you again. You almost let out a scream. His tongue goes around your clit in circles, never really going a pattern, as his finger pumps in and out of your slick sex. "Oh, God!" you moan again, your hand squeezing his hair again. He groans against your mound, as his other hand rubs the inside of your thigh. You feel your body start to buckle as you cannot sustain your weight anymore, but he holds you firmly. He bits down on your clitoris before sucking it between his lips. You almost scream again.

You gasp when he slides another finger inside you, pumping harder now. You head snaps back and hits the wall roughly, but you hardly notice. "Oh, please!" you beg, gripping his hair. He fastens his pace, no longer teasing, but going for the kill. You see bright colors as your eyes roll back. This time you can't hold back the scream. "Shane!" you yell, as your body buckles uncontrollably. He is hit with your juices, but he doesn't mind. His tongue softly licks you clean, still massaging the now sore nub, but his fingers, covered in your fluids, slip out of you. He gives you one last kiss to your throbbing sex, and backs away, taking your leg off his shoulder delicately. He catches you as you collapse in his arms, and smirks at your loud ragged breathing, making you look at him. Your eyes are filled with lust as you look into his own darkened eyes, and he raises his fingers to your mouth.

You stifle a gasp when you taste yourself on your lips. "Suck." He orders softly, inserting a finger in your mouth and you do. You cringe at the salty harsh taste, and he smirks, repositioning himself. You notice him wince slightly, and your eyes travel down to his legs. Your eyes widen as you take in the budge in his pants. He slides his fingers out of your mouth, making them ran down your chin to your breasts. He softly pinches your nipple again, the salvia mixing brightly with your skin. You shiver harshly again.

He looks up at you, a small smile going on his face at your intense blush. "I love how your cheeks still get red Mitchie." He whispers huskily, his member throbbing in his tight white pants. Your furrow your eyebrows playfully, you cheeks reddening even more. "Even though we've done it so many times." He continues, a hand stoking your cheek tenderly. You shiver again, but manage to smile at him. He smiles back and kisses you softly, before separating himself from you.

His hand drops from your cheek to you breast and cups it softly. "Did you practice?" he asks quietly, still playing with your breasts. Your eyebrows rise at the change of subject and you nod, wondering why he brought up your dancing problems. Suddenly, he pinches you again and you momentarily forget what he asked. He smirks at you and nods. "Good." He says before backing away from you. He sits down next to you, still hard. "Show me." He says, nodding you up pointedly.

You stare at him, confused at the fact he did not want to continue what you were just doing. "Right now?" you ask. He nods, still touching you intimately. You freeze for a few seconds before standing up, away his touch. You shiver at being out in the open, so exposed. You take a deep breath and raise your arms above your head, your breasts bouncing softly. He watches intensely as you perfect you form, before breaking into dance. You twirl and dance with poetic justice, you nakedness making it so much more beautiful. He frowns when you make a mistake halfway through. It was small, but it was enough to make you skip a beat.

"Stop." He orders, seconds after you do it.

You groan harshly. "God, I always get that part wrong." You say frustrated, sighing hard. You look at him and see his disapproving glare, and roll your eyes. As sweet as he is with you, especially when he makes love to you, he is still Shane Grey.

"Again." He says as he crosses his arms. You sigh and roll your eyes again, but still raise your arms to get in form again. You do the dance more cautiously this time, but you still mess up at the same part. He closes his eyes as you drop your arms defeated. "Mitchie, I don't know how you think you're gonna win Final Jam if you can't do these simple dance moves." He says sadly, shaking his head at you. You feel an invisible knife cut you hurtfully, and cross your arms over your naked chest.

"I don't know why I'm even doing them. I sing remember. Why do I have to even learn this, Shane?" you ask exasperatedly, sighing hard. His eyes flash with anger and he crosses his arms as well.

"Fine, don't practice." He scoffs. "But don't expect to pass my class either." He says sternly, glaring at you, Shane Grey the pop-star coming to surface. You gasp in shock, your mouth open wide, as you hands fly to your hips. You unknowingly expose yourself again to him, and his eyes quickly scan your body before going back to your eyes. You are hurt, but he shakes his head. "Sweetie, just because I'm sleeping with you doesn't mean you're gonna get a good grade in my class." He says, his tone lessening, but still stern. "I told you at the beginning of this summer that I won't take any shit from anyone. Dance well and get good grades. Dance badly and forget it." He says firmly, shrugging his shoulders, standing up from the floor. Guilt immediately floods his body as he sees your hurt face.

You shake your head incredulously, tears sting your eyes. "Wow, Shane. Just wow." You say, your voice mixing with tears as you grab you clothes off the floor. He sighs and grabs you from behind, hugging you tightly against him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers in your ear, and you realize Shane Grey the person is back. He kisses you softly on your neck, but you break away from him. "Mitchie, you need to work on this. Give it your all and you'll pass." He says, watching you as you put on your bra and shirt back on. You suddenly feel really angry at him, and turn at to him.

"Give it my all?" you scream, and he flinches slightly. "I've been working so effing hard Shane. I want to do it, okay! I want to please you, to impress you, but I can't." you cry, suddenly running out of steam at the end and falling to the ground. He winces again, and goes to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders tightly.

"I'm sorry." He whispers to you again, kissing your cheek. You shakily wipe your tears and nod. He stutters slightly, and you turn to face him. He looks sad and scared at your reaction to what he wants to say. "I can't give you a passing grade if you don't improve." He says quickly, and you close your eyes. You're suddenly sorry for him at the fact he is your teacher still, and needs to grade you based on merit. "I'm sorry, but it's not fair." He whispers, kissing your neck softly as he runs his hands through your long hair. You don't answer, but lean back into his body. He smiles softly and nudges you. "Why don't you do it again?" he suggests, squeezing your waist.

You groan again harshly. "Shane, I just can't do it." Tears runs down your face as you turn to look at him. His eyes soften considerably, but he looks disappointed.

"Then I can't pass you." He says sadly, looking down. You scoff hurtfully and shake your head. His eyes flash with anger, and suddenly celebrity Shane is back. "No, Mitchie! What I'm I supposed to do? I can't pass you because we're having sex. It's not right." He says, looking you straight in your eyes, both of his hands gripping your waist sternly. You continued to glare stubbornly at him. He sighs hard, pinching the bridge of his nose roughly. "Look, just keep practicing." He says, throwing his hands up in defeat. You bite your lip, and continue to leave, feeling guilty for making him choose between you and his job, but angry he chose teaching.

"I'm trying my best." You say shakily, biting your lip roughly. "I'm a singer anyways. I don't know why I have to be perfect at dancing." you argue, your eyes flashing.

He rolls his eyes. "If you want to win Final Jam, you have to be." He repeats, emphasizing his words powerfully. You rolled your eyes, giving him a look that plainly says 'why'. "Because Mitch, to be noticed nowadays, you have to be more than just a singer. You have to a dancer, a performer and most importantly an entertainer." He pointed out, his voice raising. You shake your head as tears start to well up in your eyes, and he groans and scoffs. You can see celebrity Shane clearly in his eyes."Jeeze, Mitchie, grow up, will you?" he spat out and you feel your blood run cold. You hate the fact that he uses that one thing you cannot change against you: your age difference. You take a step back, and halfway run out the door. You hear him groan behind you and curse, but you continue going down the stairs, totally aware you still hadn't put on your underwear and how sore you are down there. You ignore him as he walks behind you, but suddenly, you are slammed into a tree. You open your eyes in pain and shock, mumbling in protest against his callous hand and he gives you a stern look that shuts you up completely.

"_Yeah, I don't know what's gotten into Shane recently either, Nathaniel, but I'm glad." _Came a voice close by. Your heart suddenly goes cold as a sharp breath is taken by the man pressed up against you. Brown and Nate. Suddenly a chuckle is heard as the wind hits you harshly.

"_You think it's a girl?"_ Nate asks amused, his laughter ringing through the empty woods.

You started breathing hard against his hand, your heart beating fast as you stand quietly. _"Nathaniel, you know as well as he does, that he can have no relationship with any of the girls here. First off, he's a counselor and counselor/ student relationships are prohibited. Secondly, there are no other girl counselors so every girl here is underage and illegal. Not even Shane's that stupid to fall for jailbait." _Brown replied, shaking his head.

You both stay extra still and silent, hardly breathing, as the two walk past where you were hiding. You both let out sighs of relief as Nate and Brown disappear from view, and Shane takes his hand off your mouth, laughing slightly. You breathe out hard, closing your eyes, as you put your head on his chest. "Well, that was close." He whispers, his hands intertwining with yours as he pulls you to his cabin again.

You stand your ground, and he turns back around confused. "I'm too young remember." You say childishly, crossing your arms. You nod towards the direction Brown disappeared to. "Even he thinks so." You mutter darkly. Shane rolls his eyes, and pulls you close to him.

"Let's go inside before we get caught." He whispers, ignoring you as he looks at the horizon. He suddenly looks at you seriously. "Your mom still thinks you're sleeping with at Tess's cabin?" he asks worriedly.

You nod. "Yeah." You whisper back. Shane gives you a sympathetic look; he knows he had hurt you inside, but you need it if you want to succeed. He softly takes your hand in his, and guides you back inside. You don't say a word as he closes the door, locking it, before kissing you tenderly on your lips. He does after all love you, even if he cannot say it. He pulls away and brushes your hair delicately. "You look beautiful, you know that?" he states, looking at your porcelain face, looking into your eyes deeply. You blush lightly, and let him kiss you again. He guides you towards the bed, tenderly laying you down.

He kisses you softly and lovingly, before breaking away, laying down next to you. You are breathing slightly heavy, but keep your eyes close. "Shane, should we be doing this?" you ask, but you already know the answer. You know you need him too much to ever stop this.

He frowns at you, and raises an eyebrow. "Mitch, are you gonna break up with me?" he asks mockingly, brushing your hair softly, his eyes laughing. You pout and wish you could nod your head, because then, the mess would not be as bad. But your heart cannot stop itself from loving everything about him. Even his random Drama Queen anger.

"I can't break up with you because we're not really together." You say pointedly, crossing your arms, burying your head in the pillow. He chuckles and points between the two of you, before wrapping his arms around your waist.

"And what do you call this?" he says, kissing you, and propping himself up. "I don't sleep with all my students. Just you." He says, flicking your nose playfully. You flash your eyes at him, narrowing them. He likes to remind you of that, but sometimes you wonder if it's true.

"No. You give girls like Tess Tyler nineties, even though she sucks, but refuse to give me, someone who's trying her best, a seventy to pass." You snap, pushing him off you roughly, sitting up slightly. He narrows his eyes as well, slamming you down roughly on the bed. You gasp in surprise when he straddles you, his arms on your shoulders keeping you in place fiercely. "Shane!" you exclaim in surprise and awe. It kind of turns you on.

He glares at you intensely, anger radiating from him. You shiver as alarms ring throughout your body, gulping as he lowers himself on you. "Tess Tyler knows what the fuck she's doing. You, on the other hand, miss steps like crazy. I cannot fail her because you don't like her, and I can't pass you because I lov-" he says, his tone harsh, before he cuts himself off, closing his eyes.

You freeze under him, as he visibly pales, shaking his head. You scoff, the fear gone. "Why can't you just say it?" you whisper sadly, your hands pushing his arms away. He shoots you a cold look. You know the drill by now. You are, after all, just a summer fling. At least, according to Shane. Apparently, the last relationship he had ended badly. You would know; you read about it in Teen Magazine two months ago. She was pretty and you are, well, you. Whether or not that's a good thing is up to you.

"Just don't." he says intensely. He fixes you a strong glare, telling you to drop the subject. You just shake your head, before sighing hard, tears going back to your eyes. He sighs as well, and lifted his hips off your body. You turned to look at him, his movements startling you. He smirks as he takes off his shirt, exposing his fit chest, before taking off his belt, radiating sex. You watch with wide eyes as he undresses on top of you, too turned on to be embarrassed.

"What are you doing?" you whisper hoarsely, arousal kicking in. He smirks again, before lowering himself to kiss your lips. You moan as he kisses you when the rough material from his jeans hits your unprotected sex, your panties still on the floor.

"It's my turn." He whispers against your lips, bucking his hips roughly against yours. You, Mitchie Torres, moan again, your desire for Shane Grey overtaking your anger.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	2. Chapter 2

"**Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." – J.D. Salinger – The Catcher in the Rye**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 2

You watch with unapologetic eyes as he teaches a new move to the class. Everyone around you is moving along with him, but you. You are too entranced by his fluid motions and sensuality to even comprehend anything and you can hardly breathe. Your friend, Caitlyn, nudges you and you try to snap out of it, when suddenly, his brown eyes catch yours. For a second, you stop breathing and you realize you need him in you right now. You watch him numbly as he walks to you, the whole class now paying attention. Caitlyn nudges you again. Behind you, Tess snickers and you know what she's thinking.

It's what every girl there is thinking. Keep drooling Mitchie. You're never gonna get him.

"Excuse me, Miss Torres, is it?" Shane's voice suddenly hits you, and you gulp back a ragged breath. He is now right in front of you, and only you can tell his eyes are screaming for you to snap out of it. You think it's funny he pretends to not know your name, especially when he was screaming it thus morning. You softly nod at his question, still too out of it to respond. "Why aren't you dancing?" he asks, and you can hear him struggling with keeping his tone professional. Well, as professional as an eighteen year old pop-star slash counselor has to be. You gulp as more girls snicker, and Caitlyn sighs harshly under her breath.

"I-I." you stutter and more girls laugh. Your cheeks start to burn red, and you realize it's not because of the arousal anymore. Shane sighs as he realizes your embarrassment growing, and he turns to glare at the rest of the class. You smile somewhat when the laughing stops immediately, wishing you had that power. Suddenly, he turns back to you, and once again you're hit with overwhelming control his dark eyes have on you.

"See me after class." He says to you, shaking his head disappointedly. You don't know whether to be hurt by this, or glad you will have him to yourself again in a manner of minutes. As soon as he turns, Caitlyn gives you a sad smile and the guilt of not telling her about your relationship stabs you softly in the heart. You frown at her and roll your eyes, trying to behave normally. You hear a few girl laugh at you again, all muttering how you are once again in trouble and probably going to fail.

The thing is you can dance. You dance very well, but Shane throws you off guard. You can't pay attention to him, especially when he is screaming sex. Your eyes follow him as he starts up his dance again, and the whole class quiets down. They start to dance along, but you can't tear you eyes away from him. His upper body is slightly visible against his white shirt, and you wonder if anyone else could notice the faint scratches down his back she gave him a couple nights ago. You blush as you remember that night again, and Caitlyn looks at you worriedly. You blush harder and try to follow along with the rest of the class. Your eyes go down to Shane's feet to copy his movements, but they suddenly go to his tight pants. You then wonder if anyone else can tell his pants are so tight, you can see the outline of his member. Of which, you think in an afterthought, was in you this morning.

Again, you flush, and you just stop dancing. Caitlyn, Tess and a few others look at you as stand there, your eyes perpetually glued to Shane. The bell rings and people stop dancing finally. Shane sighs but turns to the class, smiling brightly. His eyes are light and he looks so beautiful to you. You, in turn, also let a small smile rest on your face, knowing this boy was so troubled a month or so ago. He tells you all the time that you are changing him, and it's time like this you realize it's true. "Great job today, guys." He compliments everyone, but you. You stand in the same spot as everyone shuffles out, and Caitlyn gives you one last sad look.

Shane cautiously keeps himself busy until everyone was long gone. You stand in silence as he walks over to you, shaking his head. You watch as his dark black hair sways back and forth as he gets closer to you. "Mitchie." He says, as he starts to tell you that you need to practice, but you cut him off. You pull him very close to you, locking a hand behind his neck. Your lips seek out his, and you moan loudly as your desires are fulfilled. He groans against you, as you snake your arms around his waist, slipping your tongue between his lips. You are immediately hit with his hot breath as his hands grab your hips roughly, and he groans. Suddenly, he pulls away from you.

"C'mon, Mitchie!" he moans, his eyes bright as he tries to control his breathing. You are almost panting as he talks. "You have to stop looking at me that way in class. God, you're practically begging me to fuck you! Do you know how hard it is for me not to take you in front of everyone?" he says frustrated, and you look down ashamed. You smirk when you notice the bulge in his pants growing, and you realize he is not at all angry at you. He is totally turned on, just like you are, and you reach to him again. He groans again when he feels your swollen lips on his and you push your entire body up against his.

The hardness between his legs puts pressure against you lower stomach as he thrusts involuntarily into you and you moan throatily. You snake your hands into his long brown hair as he pulls you closer to him, and suddenly both of your hips are moving against each other. Wetness is growing in between your legs and you can feel your legs start to buckle as the two of you continue making out. A voice in the back of your head reminds you that you are in the middle of a classroom that kids are in and out of all the time and that Shane is a very famous celebrity that teens are constantly stalking, but you ignore it. The need for him overtakes your logical side any day.

He hastily pushes your shirt up, exposing your thin stomach, making you shiver as his warm hands massage you. Suddenly, the two of you are moving backwards and he gently brings you onto the cold floor. Then, he nestles in between your spread legs and you moan as his weight almost crushes you. "Oh, Shane." You whisper as he thrust into you, and you wish your clothes were off already. He kisses your neck before biting the thin skin roughly, sucking harshly. "Oh, God!" you say loudly, throwing your head back. His hand goes down your body sensually, until he parts your legs with them.

He softly rubs your inner thigh, as you moan at his teasing. "Shane!" you say angrily and he laughs, but complies. His hand slips between your willing legs, and rubs the wetness. You shiver at his touch, but wish you weren't wearing your underwear _and_ a pair of pants. Your eyes are glazed over, but you can still notice that someone is at the door. You gasp loudly and Shane thinks it is because of him so he smirks.

But really it is because of the brunette girl watching you with bright wide eyes. "Caitlyn." You whisper, and Shane stops bewilderedly, furrowing his eyebrows as he picks his head up from your neck. You don't look at him, but keep your ashamed eyes on the girl. She is watching numbly and quietly, shock completely painted in her face. He follows your gaze and immediately gets off you, pushing himself off while picking you up. All of you stare at each other, too stunned to say a word, before Caitlyn takes a step back.

"I was… just m-making sure you were okay. I'm sorry… I'll le-leave." She stuttered, almost tripping as she walked backwards as quickly as she could. You feel your heart stop as she runs out the door, and when you turn back to Shane, his face is too pale. He looks at you terrified and his eyes are wide with horror. You try to shake your head while gulping harshly, patting his shoulder soothingly.

"No. No, Shane. She's… she's my best friend. She… would never tell anyone." You stutter, still gulping hard, trying to convince the both of you. You feel tears sting your eyes as you wrap your arms around your body. Shane eyes grow dark with anger as fears travels around his body, and you take a step back towards the door. "I have to go talk to her!" you say loudly, turning away from him and running out the door. You notice the cool air hit you right away, but the second you start running to her cabin, you don't care anymore. Caitlyn must have run also, because you do not see her anywhere. As soon as you see her cabin, you run to the wooden door and knock roughly.

Caitlyn opens the door, her eyes bright, but immediately goes back to her bed. You see her bury her head in her pillow wordlessly, before sinking to the floor. "I can't believe this." She keeps muttering. You gulp again as shameful tears run down your face. Suddenly, she turns to you. "I can't believe you Mitchie!" she says angrily, still too shocked to keep the judgment out of her voice. "I mean, he is…" she says trailing off. "Shane Gray." She finishes in a small whisper, blinking as if she remembers something. "He pretended not to know your name." Caitlyn continues, looking down, her eyebrows furrowed.

You wince softly. "If people finds out…" you can't continue at all, your voice caught in your throat.

Caitlyn eyebrows rose. "Well, obviously. I mean, every girl here would kill you. He is a celebrity" she says, breathing out heavily. You close your eyes at her naïveté, and you shake your head. She looks at you confused. "What could be worse than a bunch of pre-pubescent girls attacking you for dating their eighteen year old idol?" Caitlyn sneers, before her eyes go wide with recognition, and you let the tears fall down your face. "Police men." She answers her own question, her mouth open. You look down shamefully and nod. Caitlyn bites her lip and the two of you stay quiet for a couple minutes. "But I mean, the two of you are just making out, right? He can't go to jail for that, and I hardly think anyone would fire Shane Gray." She tries to calm you both down.

You stay quiet, before shaking your head softly. Caitlyn furrows her eyebrows again. "No one's gonna fire him, Mitch, and he's not gonna get in trouble, I think. It's not like the two of you are having sex." She says again, and you give her a hard look. Suddenly, she gasps and freezes, looking at you stunned. "Oh my, God." She mutters under her breath. "You're sleeping with him!" she yells, and you immediately look around the empty room scared. You put a finger to your lips for her to quiet down. "Sorry." She whispers.

You sigh and nod at her question, "Oh my, God." She whispers again, blinking at you again. "You and Shane Gray are having sex." She repeats again, leaning back down on the bed. You both stay quiet for another couple of minutes as the idea settles in Caitlyn's head. "Wow." She breathes out breathlessly. "Wait, I though…!" she says loudly, suddenly looking at you again. You give her a questioning look, and she bites the inside of lip. "I thought you wanted to wait 'till you were married." She says softer, giving you a stern look.

You sigh and pull the necklace from around your neck. _True Love Waits._ "I never claimed to want to wait for _marriage_. I want… I wanted to wait for love." You shrug, playing with the ring in your fingers softly. Caitlyn glares at you and breathes out.

"So, you're in love with him?" she says slowly.

You gulp, still playing with the ring. "Yeah." You say very softly. "But, I'm not sure he's in love with me." You confess to her, and Caitlyn scoffs angrily. You shake your head at her. "No, it's okay! I think he does feel something for me, but I'm just not sure." You explain, wrapping your arms around your body.

Caitlyn suddenly looks at you uncomfortably. "So, you lost your virginity to him? Or had you had sex before?" you were already nodding to her first question, when you had to shake your head to her second. Caitlyn gasps softly. "Wow." She breathes out again, and she bites her lip again. "Did it hurt?" she asks, looking at you curiously.

You raise your eyebrow and scoff. "Fuck yeah!" you blurt out and she looks at you shock, fear lacing into her face. You sigh again. "I mean, it did. A lot. He's really big. And it was my first time. It was more the pressure than anything." Caitlyn still looks at you afraid, so you try to calm her down. "But it only hurt the first time and second time. Afterward, it felt really great. He's really great." You try to convince her as to not scare her off sex forever.

"Wow." She breathes out again, and then looks at you, eyes wide again. "Wait! I thought _he_ wanted to wait!" she said, picking up a random magazine and pointing to the ring adoring his hand. You close your eyes, remembering something.

"Caitlyn, you can't tell anyone! His career kind of depends on it." You explain, and Caitlyn looks at the magazine again, nodding dismissively. You go to her bed, and make her look you straight in your eyes. "No! Promise me you won't tell anyone! This is really important!" you say fiercely and Caitlyn nods.

"Don't worry, Mitch. You're my best friend. I won't tell anyone." She tells you and you let out a sigh of relief. Shane is the only thing important in your life; you won't ever let anything happen to him. You look at Caitlyn, breathing out softly.

"Thank you." And she nods again, before flopping down on the bed again.

"Wow! So, was he a virgin?" she asks, leafing through the magazine. You close your eyes, and wrap your arms around your body. You feel like you're about to break. Your relationship has been going on for a month, so you never thought it would be revealed. You don't know how to answer her.

"I don't know." You answer truthfully, and she looks up surprised. "I mean, I never asked him and he never told me." You explain to her, when suddenly your phone vibrates in your pocket. You pull it out and look at the text. _Mitchie, call me. Come to my cabin right now, please._ It read and you shiver. "Caitlyn, I have to go." You say getting up off the bed, but she doesn't say anything in return. You leave the cabin quickly and start to run to his, calling his cell.

"Hey! Don't worry. We talked and she won't tell anyone." You say softly into the phone when he picks up the phone. You hear him sigh in relief.

"Good. Nate would have killed me." He groans, and you can just see him close him eyes in frustration. "Come over." He says suddenly, and you bite your lip as you travel down the path. "Everyone's still at dinner, so we're good." He tells you.

"I'm almost there. I'll see you in a sec." you answer, hanging up your phone as his cabin comes into view. You go straight in, forgetting to even knock this time. He is waiting for you, and suddenly you remember the arousal that you felt all afternoon. You immediately latch your lips onto his, and he pushes you close to him, before pulling away. "Hey." You whisper, running your hand through his long silky brown hair.

"Hi." He bites the inside of his lip, kissing you softly again. "You sure she won't tell?" he asks again and you nod. "Good." He says, breathing out harshly, before glaring at you. "You need to start paying attention in class, as that's why you're failing." You close your eyes and nod in agreement. "And you have to stop looking at me that way." He repeats huskily, gripping your hips roughly and you agree. The two of you sit down on his bed, breathing hard at the fear running through your bodies. Shane bites his lip, as the two of you try to calm your heartbeat. Suddenly, he reaches for you.

You go to him willingly. His hands go straight to the hem of your shirt and pull it off roughly. You gulp as you realize tonight won't be very gentle. He flips you on the bed, so that your hair is all over his pillow. You breathe out harshly as he goes on top of you, kissing your neck. He pulls at the skin there, before sucking on it, making sure to leave a mark. He softly runs his hands through your long hair, as he thrusts his lower hips into yours. You moan as his hardness rubs against you pants-covered clit, trying to take the clothes off with one hand. He takes over quickly, ripping your tight pants off along with your panties. As he does, you take off your shirt and unhook your bra.

His hands immediately go to your breast and squeeze your nipples, before taking one into his mouth. You almost scream as he starts sucking on it, as his hands run down your body. Your hands go to his shirt to relieve him of it, and he separates from your body momentarily to help you take it off. His eyes are super dark as they connect with yours, but he doesn't let you dwell of that. He kisses you again, his tongue exploring you mouth thoroughly. His hands go down to your slit to rub your clit, before slipping a finger into your warmness. You whimper as your tightness engulfs him, and you start pulsing around him. He groans into your mouth, glad you are already ready for him.

He unbuckles his pants and quickly throws them off, and your eyes widen at the erection he has. It never stops surprises you. He is really big, or at least, to you he is. But besides that, you are always surprised at the fact you can make him- Shane Gray! - hard. You moan as he puts the tip of his length to your opening, and bite your bottom lip as he pushes into you, inch by inch. The pressure he causes down there makes you open your mouth in a silent scream, as he goes as far inside you as he can. He softly hooks his hands under your knee to pull your legs on his shoulders, and you whimper as he pushes the rest of him inside you. You are breathing really hard as he slips almost all the way out of you only to thrust into you roughly. He groans as your cunt grips him, but his fingers go back to your clit.

He swiftly rubs the little nub, his fingers driving you crazy. "Oh God! Shane!" you scream, throwing your head back. In the back of your mind, you realize that the two of you really should be more careful, but you quickly forget it as he fucks you amazingly. His hands are all over your body as he grabs your breast and rubs your clit, and you can feel his entire hard body up against you each time he reentered you. Suddenly, you feel a cold sweat overcome you and you start shaking uncontrollably. Your legs squeeze his hips as he is gripped by your sex. The sensation is amazing, even though there are so many things wrong with this night.

"Oh, fuck! Mitchie, you're so tight!" he moans into your ear as he fastens his pace, as you feel your body go into spasms. Waves of pleasure rushes through you as you orgasm around his member, and suddenly, he is pouring his seed into you. He yells your name as comes, biting your ear as he lets a throaty groan out. You scream as he fills you up, sweat going on both your bodies. His harsh breathing drives you crazy, crazy enough to confess to him.

"I love you." You whisper as he finishes, and you notice he stops breathing. He gives you a fierce look, and tries to get out of you, but your legs are too tight around him. You give him a harsh glare back, but you don't take it back. And he doesn't say it to you.


	3. Chapter 3

"**I've always been the kind of girl who's hid her face." Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas – "I Am Me" **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 3

You think of your mom as she works in the kitchen, ashamed that you promised you would help and angry you never have. You're ashamed that you tell her you sleep at Tess's, and angry she never checks. You're ashamed that you're not being a good girl, and angry everyone expects you to be. You're ashamed you've slept with a man before you were married, and angry that that man cannot tell you he loves you back.

"I love you." You said, after he came inside you last night. You remember the intense and angry glare he gave you, and how he didn't say a word to you the rest of the night. He didn't let you leave though. He made sure to wrap his arms tightly around your naked body to prevent you from leaving. You smile because that might mean he loves you back; he just cannot say it. You have your suspicions why of course. Everyone on a daily basis tells Shane Gray that they love him – but it's mostly female strangers willing to rape him. So, it must be a hard concept to actually grasp.

You gasp softly when you feel him stir next to you, and steal a glance to the clock. 5:08. Still three hours before the camp wakes up, and still two hours before you have to make your exit. You close your eyes when you feel him tighten his hold around your body and nuzzle his head full of shaggy hair into your neck, kissing you tenderly. You smile and let him think you are still sleeping, as he holds you in his arms. You wish that he could see that you love him for who he is and not what he is. You love him because he is Shane Gray and not because he is _Shane Gray_. You lean into him again when his breathing starts to slow down again and you can tell he is asleep.

As you lay there, you remember back to the first day you met him. Everyone was bussing about the fact a celebrity instructor was going to be teaching at Camp Rock, especially a young reckless one. Shane Grey, the walking contradiction. The emo pop star. The experienced virgin. The only thing mothers could breathe about was that when Shane would _take_ girls on the road, it usually meant making out. His last relationship was extremely publicized to the point of skepticism, and even then, it was with another young talented singer, people said nothing happen between. So, when you met him that day, you expected an angry virginal pop star.

What you got was something different.

No doubt he was an angry guy, but as he told you fiercely that day he is not a pop star. He is a first class rock star. As for the virgin thing, you never asked. You should ask one day whether or not he was when he first _took you_ took you.

Later on the same day, after about twelve hours of just talking as the rest of the camp ate and then slept, you and he started an illegal relationship. A week and half later, you gave yourself to him. You weren't really prepared for him and he really had no idea what he was doing. You think. Or maybe, you just imagined the shy fumbling from him. Maybe you want to believe he was a virgin, so that you wouldn't feel as guilty as you do now. You think you remember his cheeks turned bright red when he saw you for the first time. You think you remember how his eyes darkened with surprise and lust. You think you remember all that, but you could have just imagined it all. That night you gave yourself to him, you mostly had your eyes closed in the dark room.

Now it is a different story. You're not as embarrassed anymore, so you pay attention more than ever. Because now, Shane is anything but nervous or virginal. He knows what pleases you. He knows how to touch you. He knows how to make you scream. He knows every inch of your body like he knows his own. He knows you.

You shiver as he tightens his arms around you again, bringing you back to reality. You open your eyes and turn somewhat to face him.

He has his eyes closed, but immediately opens them when he feels you move in his arms. He gives you a small smile and pulls you to him, making you grin into his shoulder. You kiss him softly and whisper the same words you whispered last night. "I love you." You repeat for the second time straight into his sleepy brown eyes. He groans and closes his eyes forcefully, and you wonder if he wishes he was dreaming. "I love you." You say again, brushing his hair back with your hands delicately. "But not because you have a major record deal or because you're the hottest teen act ever in the history of teen acts. But because you're you." You confess almost inaudibly as you run your hands through his hair.

"That's great, Mitch." He responds, and his voice is strained. You can feel the tiredness in his voice, and you wince. You know it's hard being a celebrity, and sometimes you wonder if you really actually want that. Sometimes, you wonder if he actually wants it. But, you also notice how he still has not said it back.

"You sound exhausted. Rough night?" you ask smirking, the hurt in your eyes betraying your attempt at being nonchalant. Shane gives you a small smile, but doesn't answer you. So, you sigh and make him look at you. "So, here's the deal, ok. I'm not telling you that you have to say it back. I'm not going to break up with you or anything, but I'm not going to let myself get hurt either." You tell him fiercely, and he sighs. You know it's too early in the morning, but this is when it hits you. "For just today, if you feel something for me – anything – then all you have to do is show me. You don't have to say it, but at least do something to prove it. If you don't, then I guess you don't love me." You finish shrugging, breathing hard. "But I won't break up with you. It's up to you, I guess." You say, shaking his shoulder softly.

Shane shakes his head, and buries it in his pillow. You run your hands through his hair once more, before extricating yourself from his arms. He looks at you surprised as you start to dress, before turning the clock towards him. "You still have at least an hour and a half." He says, his eyes going back to you as you slip your shirt back on. You shrug and finish, before going to him and kissing his cheek. He grabs your wrists as you start to move away, and stares into your eyes intensely. You don't know what to do, but instead, stare back into his eyes with the same defiance.

After a while, you realize he's not going to say anything, and you still have to go. You break free from his grasp and stare, and make your way to the door. Behind you, you hear him sigh angrily. "Mitchie, why do you insist on making this so serious?" he groans and you turn back, eyes bright with anger.

"Why do you insist on downplaying this? I lost my virginity to you, Shane!" you yell, hurt interlacing with fury. You watch him wince, and sit up, putting his head in his hands. The blanket falls down to his hips, exposing his naked chest, and the ring around his finger catches your eye. "Did you?" you ask, your conversation with Caitlyn fresh in your mind. He looks up at you confused and you clarify your question. "Did you lose your virginity to me? Because supposedly that ring meant something, right?" you ask, a touch of judgment going in your tone. Shane looks down at the silver ring on his left hand, before slipping it off.

He grabs your hand again and drops it there, making you look down at him puzzled. He gives you a hard look."Does that answer your question?" he says coldly, and your eyes widen at his rage and his… confession? You don't say a word as he stands up from the bed, the blanket falling to the floor, exposing his entire naked body. You shiver when he touches your neck softly, before reaching the necklace around your neck. He unclasps it wordlessly and takes your ring without asking, and slips his ring in the necklace. You numbly watch him as he re-clasps it around your neck, and looks at you icily. "There, since it's so fucking important to you. I lost my virginity to you too, okay. Now, go tell Teen Magazine or Seventeen or People because that's obviously what you care about." He says in a dead whisper hurtfully. You gasp at everything he just said.

You blink at him and your breath gets caught in your throat. "Wow." You breathe out softly, the disbelief clear on your face. Tears suddenly spring to your eyes and his glare softens. He sighs and his eyes become glassy, before bringing you into his arms.

"Look can we just drop this? Why does it matter if we lost our virginities to each other or if we love each other? Can we just go back to be being… what we are usually?" he says, struggling with words, whispering in your ear. You press your face into his naked shoulder, letting tears wet him. He wraps his arms tightly around you and kisses your hair, but you know he's not sorry. After all, he thinks you're just using him, which is funny because you think the same thing about him.

You finger the heavier ring now around your neck and go to take it off. "I don't want your ring or publicity or attention. I want you to love me the same way I love you, but I don't give a fuck about your fame or money! God, I really didn't even care if you were a virgin or not, which by the way I totally don't believe you were." you scream, hitting him with one hand while trying to take off the necklace with the other. He sighs as he grabs both of your hands in his, stopping you from continuing both objectives.

"Stop, okay. Can we just stop? I hate fighting with you." He says frustrated, but not saying a word on his virginity again. "This camp sucks so much. I'm a fucking singer and I have to teach dance. No, scratch that! I'm fucking rock star and I'm forced to be here when I could be on tour! Ugh!" he complains, stills holding onto your wrists. You roll your eyes as tears fall down your face, not really knowing where to look. If you look up, you have to look into his eyes/face. If you look straight ahead, you see his naked chest. If you look down, an appendage is swing away.

You settle on his chest.

He blows out slowly, trying to calm himself down. "You're what makes this bearable. If we're over, then that's it." he said, letting go of your hands, and you immediately rub the now sore skin dismissively. "I won't stay here, and then Nate will have a nervous breakdown and Jason will still want a birdhouse, but I won't have a birdhouse because I'm not gonna make him a birdhouse and it will be because I didn't stay at Camp Rock because me and you broke up!" he rambles, losing breath quickly. You let a small smile go on your face.

This is Shane Grey – the person. He rambles and struggles with words at the same time. That's what you love about him. Now if only he could see that. "I already told you I'm not breaking up with you, Shane." You say after awhile of silence, before walking out, a ring still around your neck. You wait until you're out of his door and into the darkness, before continuing. "I could never break up with you. Even if I wanted to." You walk quickly to Caitlyn's cabin, as you really don't want to go by the lake this morning. She is, of course, sleeping as most kids are at quarter to six in the morning, so you take the magazine she had the day before. It was your typical _J-14_ish magazine, with about a million different articles about Shane, Nate, and Jason. But the one that suck out the most was the Shane Gray and Norah Jacobs article.

Shane Grey and Norah James.

Shane fucking Grey and Norah fucking James. They dated for months, and he wants you to believe he lost his virginity to you! Sure he was nervous and somewhat shy that night. Hell, he fumbled and blushed more than you did. At least, you think he did. Actually, now that you keep thinking about it, even though he is super confident in everything, the one thing he used to be scared about was sex. That is, until it became a second nature with you.

Maybe he was a virgin.

You sigh, before feeling your cell phone vibrate in your pocket. You furrow your eyebrows and open your phone, noticing you have a new text message. _Y did u leave?_ You sigh again, but a small smile goes to your lips.

_Y? Do u miss me ;) _You text back, your head hurting a bit. Two seconds later, the phone rings again. "Hey." You answer softly, trying not to disturb Caitlyn. You immediately go outside, breathing out softly.

"I'm sorry." He whispers softly, and you realize that Celebrity Shane is gone for now. You sniff, but shake your head. His rather random bouts of sweetness and tenderness always catch you off guard. But, it is never underappreciated.

"It's okay, Shane." You say back as you start making your way to your mother's cabin. You know she is already in the kitchen, so you're safe to get clothes and shower there. You hear him sigh gently. "I have to go, baby." You whisper as you go start to go inside the cabin. You hear him say groan, but affirm. "Wait! Shane." You say as a thought comes to you.

"Yeah, Mitch." He says, and you can almost picture him closing his eyes sleepily. You fumble with the door, trying to open the stubborn door.

"I love you, Shane." You repeat as you finally enter the cabin and start going to the closet. However, a sight on the bed stops your movement. Your heart goes numb as your breath gets stuck in your throat. You hear him groan again, and start to say something, but you cut him off involuntarily. "Shit." You blurt out softly.

"What?" you can hear the tension in his tone and his voice is more awake than ever. You shake your head, your eyes glued to the person on the bed.

"I'll talk to you later." You whisper, snapping the phone off quickly. "Mom-" you immediately start, but she cuts you off with a sharp glare. She points to the other bed fiercely, telling you to sit down with her razor eyes. You can feel the intense anger radiating off her severely, and your heartbeat intensifies. Your palms immediately become sweaty as you make your way to the bed, and your breath becomes ragged when you notice two suitcases by the window. "No, Mom! Please." you instantly start to bawl at her, hysteria going through you in a second.

"Sit down, Michelle!" she screams at you loudly and powerfully, and you sit down swiftly, tears already falling out of your eyes. You watch as she stands up furiously, and fixes you glowering look. "So when where you going to tell me you're not staying at Tess's?" she asks, crossing her arms around her body. Your face turns pale and you shake your head, but she cuts you off. "And who the hell is Shane?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at you heatedly.

"M-mom." You stutter, your mind going a million miles an hour. You piece together the fact she has no idea who Shane is and is probably angry at you because you lied about Tess. "Not Tess's, Caitlyn's." you lie, giving her an incredulous look through your tears. You try to cover the tears up, knowing she is probably suspicious of why you are crying. Your mom scoffs and raises both eyebrows this time, but you can see a slight amount of questioning go through her. "And Shane is a friend from back home. He's Sierra's cousin, remember? You met him last spring." You look at her pointedly, and your mom bites her lip. You pray softly that she doesn't remember that his name was Fred.

"I thought you said it was Tess's." she says, sitting down looking distractedly out the window. You shake your head to her.

"No. Caitlyn's." you repeat, laughing uncomfortably, looking at the suitcases again. "Mom, I'm sorry if you got the wrong info, but come on! We can't leave because of this." You say defensively, and your mom looks at the suitcases embarrassingly.

"I think I overreacted." She says, laughing and shaking her head. "I thought you were doing something bad, Mija. I'm sorry. You know how bad my memory is. I wouldn't remember my head if it wasn't attached." She says, going over to you. She finally notices your tears, and wipes them away. "I didn't mean to scare you. I know how much you love it here." She says, pushing your head to her chest softly. You nod against her, and laugh uncomfortably again. "Okay, I have to go to the kitchen. I love you." She says to you and kisses the top of your head tenderly.

"I love you too, Mommy." You whisper as she lets go off you and leaves, giving you a sympathetic look as she leaves. You almost scream, but you so thankful she is so gullible.

OXO

You haven't seen Shane all day. After all, his class was the last of the day for you. As you walk towards the dance room, you see Caitlyn and wave to her. She waves back with a small smile. "Hey, ready to see your boyfriend aka the love of your life?" she asks mockingly, smirking at you. Your face goes pale and you give her a nudge while looking around you. Caitlyn rolls her eyes. "Oh, calm down. Just about every freakin' girl in the world loves this kid." She said pointedly, shaking her head.

You sigh harshly and glare at her. "Don't remind me. Do you know how difficult it is to compete against a zillion girls a day?" you groan through your teeth angrily, before rolling your eyes frustrated. Caitlyn laughs and shrugs, giving you a 'Well, you asked for it' look. "Oh, shut up." You say pushing her, as you walk into the classroom. You immediately look around the room searching for Shane, but he is nowhere to be seen.

"I didn't say anything." Caitlyn points out, laughing. "Well, don't worry. I'm into Nate, not Shane." She assures you, smiling softly. You laugh and shake your head, still looking for Shane to come around. Tess suddenly goes to you guys, Peggy behind her loyally.

"Did you hear about Shane?" she says, gossip obviously in her voice. You look at her annoyed, but inside you are filled with burning curiosity. Especially if it is about Shane. So, the both of you shake your head, making Tess happy. "Well, apparently Shane is writing a song and that's why he's not teaching today." She tells you guys.

Peggy nods. "Yeah, I heard that Shane hates it when he's writing and people interrupt him. Once he almost killed Jason when he kept bothering him." She says and Tess nods.

Suddenly, the blonde looks at the two of you. "So what do you think he's writing about? How beautiful he thinks I am or how annoying the two of you are?" she said, a smirk going to her lips and Peggy laughs a little too hard. Caitlyn rolls her eyes and pulls you to go with her. You bite you lip, but follow Caitlyn as she goes to her usual spot. But the gossip does not stop. All around you people are talking about Shane.

"So, I heard that he is actually writing a song. It's like the first time in a long time, but he gets so angry when people interrupt." They heard someone else say, and Caitlyn raises an eyebrow at you. You shrug and sit down on the hard floor, Caitlyn following suit. The two of you prattle on unimportant things for the hour, but your mind is constantly on Shane. You want to see him so badly, but you know people would notice if you got up right now and left. Plus, you have to go to dinner now that your mother is slightly suspicious of you. So, you do.

You go to dinner with Caitlyn and smile at your mom when she waves at you. Again, you look around the entire room but you don't see Shane either. Caitlyn keeps looking at you. "What's wrong?" she asks you, as you pick at your food sadly. You give her a pointed look. "Oh, right. Well, sneak out. Your mom already saw you." She says, nodding towards the door. You smile and nod, before leaving the dinner hall. You start running to his cabin, needing him, wanting him so badly.

He is an addiction. He is your drug. You need him so badly, as you run to his cabin. You immediately open the door, and notice him strumming on his guitar as he sits on the edge of the bed. He looks up, anger visible in his face, and his mouth is open to yell. However, as soon as he sees it you, he pauses. His eyes soften and he bites his lip, before going back to his guitar. You lean against the wall silently, as his calloused fingers thumb on the strings. He softly humming a tune you do not know, with his eyes closed. You slowly walk over to him and sit behind him, running your hands through his hair gently. "I missed you today." You whisper, kissing his hair softly.

Shane looks up at you and smiles, taking his hand from the guitar to your arm. He reaches up and kisses your lips roughly, rubbing your arm. You moan into his mouth as his tongue slips into you, before taking the guitar from his lap and putting it on the floor. He gently pushes you down on the bed, his hand running up and down your body. Your shirt rides up as his hot hands touch your cold body, and you whimper as he bites your lip. He pulls away from you and starts kissing your neck, before hugging you softly. You smile at him, but your eyes betray your nonchalance. He sighs and kisses your lips again. "What's wrong?" he asks you, before realization enters his eyes. "What happened this morning?" he asks, his eyes sharp with fear.

You shrug, and bite your lip. "My mom almost found out, but it's cool." You explain as his eyes widen, but you shrug again. You snuggle into his chest and play with his hair. "Don't worry. She thinks you're this guy from back home. We're good." You comfort him, before kissing his neck. You sigh at the taste, and start sucking on his skin. Shane groans and squeezes your hips, hugging you tighter to his chest. You look back to the guitar. "So everyone's talking about the fact that you're supposedly writing a song, and I just want to know how everyone knows that." You say, furrowing your eyebrows confusingly.

Shane groans. "Ugh, Nate walked in and was like super excited that I'm writing, so he like ran out and told Brown. Then, everyone just found out. I hate it when people interrupt me." He says angrily, closing his eyes frustrated. You smile and run your hands through his hair again. He chuckles slightly, shaking his head. "Actually, one time Jason went into my room when I was writing something. I definitely punched him." He says, rolling his eyes and you smile more. He softly runs his hands up your body again, your nipple getting caught between his fingers. He roughly squeezes it, kissing your neck softly. You moan and snuggle closer to him, before biting your lip.

"Can you play it for me?" you ask in a small voice, and Shane doesn't meet your eye. You sigh disappointedly and he finally looks at you. He kisses you again, before getting off the bed. He went straight to his guitar and your breath gets caught in your throat. He brings it back to the bed and looks at your fiercely.

"Okay, first, I only wrote this like this morning, so no lip from you if it's bad." You roll your eyes, but nod. "Second…" he says softly, as he sits down, strumming in the strings again. "I can't tell you those three words yet, but you're right. I can show you, so here it is." He says in a very low whisper, but you hear every word. Your heart stops for the second time that day, and your breath gets caught again. You freeze as he starts the opening of the song, before he opens his mouth.

"Soft kiss and wine, what a pretty friends of mine." The words softly came out, and you feel so numb. "We're finally intertwined. Nervous and shy, for the moment we will come alive tonight." He sings, before looking you straight into your eyes. "Secret valentine." You shiver and watch as he plays the guitar harder. "We'll write a song that turns out the lights when both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside. Don't waste your time. Speed up your breathing. Just close your eyes. We'll hope it's not for nothing at all." He sings to you gently.

"Lay down. Be still. Don't worry. Talk they will. I'll be loving you until mornings first light brings tomorrow. I'll take care of you tonight" he whispers, his voice going lower when he says _it._ Your heart flutters and your stomach fills with something, you don't know what. You breathe out a sigh of relief as he goes into the chorus again. "Secret Valentine. When guilt fills your head. Brush off. Rise up from the dead. This is the moment that we will come alive. Brace yourself for love. Sweet love. Secret love" he finishes, and tears roll down your face. He looks up at you, eyes scared and vulnerable. You are about to say something, when a noise cuts you off.

"Hey, man! Sorry for interrupting again, but do you want to…" a voice came from the door. You both gasp and turn, seeing the shocked face of a boy. "Whoa." He blurts out, looking from Shane, still holding the guitar, to you, still crying.

"Nate, this is so not what it looks like."

--

Secret Valentine - We the Kings.


	4. Chapter 4

"**Did you run and hide like a scared little boy?" Forever & Always – Taylor Swift. **

Chapter 4

Teach Me Tonight

You look at the curly hair of a boy you never thought you'd actually meet. Then again, you never pictured meeting Shane Gray, and you're sleeping with him. You furrow your eyebrows when Shane says, "This is not what it looks like!" to Nate. You see Nate raise his eyebrows questioningly, and you know what you have to do. So, you jump up and scream.

They both look at you surprised; Shane actually gasps, but you don't let it distract you. "Oh my God! You're Nate! You're Nate! Oh my God! I love you so much. Oh my God!" you freak out, and you see a flash of recognition fly through Nate's eyes. In the corner of your eye, you see Shane blink at you. You wipe at your eyes dramatically. "Oh my God! I know everything about you. Oh my God! I know everyone of your song. _Sorry_ is just about my favorite song ever!" you say as fast as you can, and you know both Nate and Shane are left in a daze. You stop suddenly and take a deep breath. "Oh my God." You whisper one more time. "I can't believe I met the both of you." You bite your lip, smiling brightly.

Nate smiles softly, but you can see the lies hidden behind it. "Thanks. I guess you're a fan." He says briefly, before turning to Shane, an eyebrow raised. You sigh softly, as you recognize the look in the younger boy's eyes. He thinks you are crazy. Well, better than thinking anything else. You turn back to Shane immediately, and you notice both of them looking at your strangely. Suddenly, Nate grins. "Oh, wow! _This is not what it looks like?"_ he repeats in the same way Shane did minutes ago. For a second, your whole world stops as Nate laughs and looks down. You and Shane share a scared look, when Nate looks back to Shane. "So let me guess." He continues amused. "Even though you almost killed Jay when he walked on you working, you let a big fan of ours to see you." Nate says mockingly. "Aw, how sweet."

Shane blinks at him again, and rolls his eyes. "Oh, you caught me." He responds deadpanned. You shoot him a glare to shut him up. Nate laughs again and shakes his head, giving you a smirk, and Shane turns to you with a sharp glare. "Don't tell anyone that I let you listen to part of the song or you'll regret it." He says darkly to you, so you gulp and nod. You allow some more tears to fall down your face.

"I won't tell anyone." You say breathlessly, staring dazedly at him. "Shane." You blow out his name softly and look back at the curly haired boy. "I love you." You tell him, and Nate looks to the floor, a smirk fully on his face. Shane raises his eyebrow at you and sighs.

"Okay, anyways…" Nate interrupts the awkwardness you are creating, still chuckling. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to go out with us, but I can see that you two are busy." Nate says, biting his lip to stop the laughter. Shane glares at him, and goes to push you out the door, but Nate beats you out the door. You continue looking at Shane loving, and Nate leaves the two of you. But before he does, you notice him look at your neck bewildered, before the door closed. As soon as he disappears, you breathe out a sigh of relief, rolling your eyes, and turn to Shane. He has a slight glare in his eyes and looks hurt, so you furrow your eyebrows. You softly run your hand across his cheek tenderly, giving him a confused look.

"Did you like my performance?" when he doesn't answer, a worried look goes onto your face. "What's wrong?" you say at his pain, and he shakes his head dismissively. He gives you a sad smile and turns away from you. You watch him as he goes to the bed and grab a sweatshirt, putting it on. You stay quiet for awhile, but sigh. "Thank you for the song, Shane. It was amazing." You say going to him, running a hand through his thick hair. He gives you another sad grin, but his eyes are gone from you. You groan angrily. "Shane!" you say sternly, putting a hand to your waist.

He rolls his eyes and grabs your wrists, pulling you close to him. He kisses your lips roughly and you moan surprised, as he wraps his arms around your body. He bits your bottom lip before sucking it between his skillfully, and pulls the hem of your shirt up. You shiver as his hot hands warm your flat stomach, before reaching your full breasts. Through the bra, he twists your hardening nipples, rubbing your tongue forcefully with his. You can feel your control slipping as another throaty groan escapes your lips, but you pull away from him with all your might. "Shane, tell me what's wrong." You say breathlessly, shivers running up and down your body.

He groans and closes his eyes, before running a hand through his hair nervously. "Do you really love me? Or would you love Nate if he'd gotten to you first?" he says opening his eyes, and you see an angry vulnerability shining in his eyes. You scoff and shake your head, already rolling your eyes. You put your hand back on his cheek, bringing him close, kissing him on his lips briefly. You look him straight in his eyes.

"So I have a lot of friends that love Connect 3. I mean, like four walls wallpapered with your posters. They know every lyric and beat, but you wanna know the difference between them and me? They saw a song as something to dance to. I saw the song as a window of who you are. Who _you_ are! Because honestly I knew without even looking what songs you wrote. I could see the pain behind every single cookie cutter pop song. I could see you. Not Nate or Jason. You." You promise him exasperatedly, looking at him fiercely. Shane doesn't answer, but instead averts his eyes as if you're too harsh to look at. You sigh and bring you hands down, and start to leave.

He immediately looks at you alarmed. "Where are you going?" he asks, his voice clear with disbelief. You look back at him and notice his dark expression, his angry expression. You shake your head and close your eyes sadly. He grabs you from behind roughly, and pulls you in a strong embrace. "Mitchie, where are you going?" he asks again, hurt evident. You don't answer as he wraps his arms tightly around you. "You can't just leave." He says intensely, shaking softly. You finally turn to him, a depressed look still in your eyes. His eyes soften and for a second he lets the walls down. "Please?" he whispers softly, bringing his hand to your hair.

He gently brushes your hair back, but you cannot bring yourself to smile. He breathes out slowly, and he suddenly laughs humorlessly. "God, we're so fucked up." He groans, shaking his head but not letting you go. You're internally really glad; you never want him to let you go. He nuzzles your neck gently, burying his head in the nook. "I'm sorry." He says, pressed against your body, and you wrap your arms around him tightly. "It's just… I never know when people actually love me for who I am, or just care about everything else. I wish…" he trails off, closing his eyes. When he opens them, you notice the wetness gathering up there and you immediately hug him harder. "I wish I never became famous." He confesses to you and you freeze.

You grab his face in your hands. "Don't say that Shane. You're amazing, and I'm so proud of you. Plus, if you weren't famous, we never would have met." You point out the obvious and he nods, pulling away from you. You groan angrily when you see the wall go back up around his heart and eyes. It was the wrong thing to say apparently. You see his detachment come back, and most importantly, you see Celebrity Shane come back. He bits his lip and reaches for your button up shirt, already undoing button after button. You shiver as his fingers graze your skin on your stomach. His touch leaves a fire within your body and you love the way it feels. But, he already proved to you that he loves you with the song. This time, you want to be the one proving it.

So, you rip away from his touch, as painful as it is. He looks at you surprised, and for a second, you cannot tell if his ego is hurt or his feelings. You look up at him with ironic pure eyes, and caress his cheek softly. "Let me be in control?" you ask, unsure of yourself. He raises an eyebrow, appalled, and you take advantage of his momentary shock by pushing him on the bed gently. He sighs but allows you to continue pushing down on him to the point where you are now straddling him. He looks up at you with darkened eyes, but you can tell he's still hiding parts of himself. Inside, butterflies are fluttering like crazy, and you're not so sure you want to have sex. You're not sure it gonna fix anything.

You can feel the wind from the open window hurt your exposed upper body, but you finish taking off your shirt, never breaking eye contact. He breathes in as he traces your confided breasts with his eyes before bringing his hand up to your hip. You moan and shake your head, tilting it to one side with a growing smirk. "Let me be in control." You do not ask this time, but say it with the authority he usually possesses. You softly grab his hands as he stares at you in wordless disbelief, and bring them up to your mouth. You kiss the palm of one hand, again never breaking eye contact. The room feels as if it will explode from the tension of the two of you, but you do not quicken your pace.

Suddenly, you drop his hands and reach around his neck to take off the bright tie he is wearing. You slowly undo it and he sighs. "Mitchie." He whispers, his hands now gripping your legs that are on either side of him. You smile shyly at him, and go back to his hands, grabbing them tightly along with the tie. Shane smirks at you. "You gonna tie me up?" he asks mockingly, but his eyes do not match. You roll your eyes and throw the tie to the floor, and go back to his chest. You trace down the shirt until you reach the hem, as sadness creeps inside you. You breathe in softly, before pulling the shirt up and over his head. Your eyes catch his, and the two of you stare at each other for a while. The mood abruptly changes. You can see him struggling, all traces of humor gone. He's scared and vulnerable, and so are you. The depression mirrors brightly in both your eyes.

Your eyes are bright and glued to his, while his are dark and dangerous. His hands squeeze your thighs, and he nods towards your breast. In a flash, you unclasp the bra and throw it to the floor, letting your breast bounce free. His eyes follow every curve and he sucks in a breath. Your hands involuntarily go down his hard chest, his shirt now on the floor. Never breaking eye contact, your hands dip down under the waistband of his tight jeans. His mouth opens slightly and his eyes intensify. You fumble with the belt buckle and the zipper as you do not want to risk looking away from Shane. Your hands stop because you can hardly breathe from the passion between the two of you. You can no longer feel the wind. You can no longer think of your mom or Caitlyn or Nate. You can no longer remember anything else, but him.

He gently sits up, your legs still wrapped around his thighs. You are too far gone to care about control or anything. You realize the two of you are breathing really hard, and you briefly wonder why. Nothing sexual has even remotely happen yet, so why the intensity? You can see he's confused about the feelings as well, and he brings a hand to your neck. He looks as if he wants to say something, but instead just keeps looking into your eyes, almost exploring you. Your mind is screaming at you to tell him you love him, but you cannot bring yourself to actually break the silence. The air is getting tenser and tenser every second, and it's like the two of you are the only people in the camp, in the world. Both of you keep breathing harshly, your breaths intermixing with each other.

Your lips are centimeters from each other, and it's like you can almost already feel them on you. His hand is still on your neck, and suddenly it's going down softly. For a second, you think he is going to touch your naked breast, before noticing he's fingering the ring that used to be his. You finally look away from his eyes to look at his fingers, and the light catches the cross on the ring. Your hand moves almost on its own accord and grabs his. He intertwines your hands, before bring his lips to your hands. His other hand pulls you closer to him, and he starts kissing your neck swiftly. Your breast and his chest push up against each other, and you bury your head in the nook of his neck. He kisses you one last time on your shoulder, and moves up to you cheek. You moan softly as his arms tighten around your body and his lips find yours.

It's a soft kiss, but it's enough to flip you over so that he is nestled between your legs. You gasp as his weight comes onto you fully, and his mouth traces the curve of your neck. Tears sting your eyes suddenly, and that horrible thought comes back to your head. That thought that he's just using you. He just wants to have sex with you. You try to shake it away, by telling yourself the boy is having sex with _you_. There are so many girls that he could possibly be sleeping with, and picked you. "Mitchie." He says, making you jump. He is looking at you alarmed. "Are you okay? Am I hurting you?" he asks, terror in his eyes.

_You have no idea._

"You're crying baby. What's wrong?" he continues, brushing away tears from your cheek. You gasp and open your mouth to say something, to say anything, but you cannot. You don't know what to say. You don't know what to do. You don't know why you're feeling this way. He brings his body up and over you completely, and wraps his arms around you tightly. He kisses your neck and holds you. "Shh, it's okay." He whispers, as more tears run down your face. Suddenly, you realize he has tears in his eyes also, but you do not know why. He is looking at you like he has never looked at you. He is scared, and that is freaking you out. "Tell me a secret." He begs you, hugging you tightly, so that you are buried against him.

You furrow your eyebrows, and feel more tears fall. "Like what?" you manage to say without your voice breaking.

"Anything." He breathes out heavily. "Something you would never tell anyone. Something huge. Something that change who you are as a person." He keeps begging you. You can see what he really wants; he wants you to confide in him, so he feels better about confiding in you.

You stare at his shoulder for a while, thinking of something besides the first thing that came to your head. Finally, you have no choice but to say it. "I think my dad is cheating on my mom." You wince because it sounds sad even to your own ears. You are still hidden in his shoulder, so you do not notice his expression.

"Why?" he asks simply, but you hear his voice rough with emotions. The tears fall faster and suddenly you are full on sobbing. Shane tightens his hold on you and lets you cry. You cry because you know what you are doing is wrong. You cry because you are giving yourself to a person that you're not sure appreciates it. You cry because he's crying. You cry because you're confused, and because he's even more than you. You cry because you want to believe he loves you like he wants to believe you truly love him. As the tears whine down, he grips you softly. "Why?" he repeats again in your ear softly.

You hiccup softly, but say the truth. "Because my mom wears Chanel. Because I wear Britney Spears. Because he smells of Dior." You choke out, still not looking at him. Shane kisses your shoulder softly, and holds you as you shake. You finally look at him, and notice he seems so depressed. More depressed than ever. You gently run your hands through his hair. "You tell me something." You say, your voice shaky.

He gives a hard look with his tear filled eyes and lets out a soft breath. "What did you hear was the reason that I'm here?" he asks, staring you straight in your eyes.

You bite your lip. "You threw a temper tantrum on set of a music video?" you say, remembering the random news show. Shane chuckles humorlessly, and blows out softly. He then shook his head, and you actually notice a few tears fall down his face.

"Nate found out I tried to commit suicide. He thought going back to my roots would help me out." Shane whispers, his eyes closed. Inside of you, something breaks. Your heart stops beating. Your breath gets caught in your throat. You can feel your face pale harshly. The tears rush back to your eyes.

"Oh, Shane." you breathe out, totally heartbroken. You grab him harder to you, and your naked upper bodies press up against each other. You feel his tears on your shoulder before you hear him, but suddenly, he's the one sobbing. You hold him like he held you. You do not know what else to do. The two of you are just kids; you're not meant for this kind of pressure. You pull away from him to wipe away his tears softly, and he looks at you, his eyes in full struggle.

"My dad yelled at me. He told me- he told me that 'how could I have done such a thing?'" Shane stutters out shakily, like he was cold. You nod and make a face that portrays you feel the same way. Shane shakes his head, the tears falling. "He looked me in the eyes and said, 'Do you know how much you're worth? 20 million. You wanna kill yourself? Kill yourself when you're worth a lot less, you son of bitch.'" Shane continues, gulping. The tears make it hard for you to see, but you see Shane bury his head in the pillow. "God, why am I saying this? I shouldn't be saying this. Oh, God." He starts muttering hysterically.

You pull him close again, running a hand through his hair before kissing his head. "Trust me, Shane. I'm here for you." You promise unsteadily, and he looks at you with vulnerable eyes. You move in close to him and kiss him on his lips. He responds feverishly, before pushing you roughly away.

"God, what the fuck am I doing?" he says emotionally, grabbing you violently. He looks at you confused and angrily. "I'm not this person, Mitchie. That talks about his feelings or cries or confesses." He tells you fiercely, almost trying to convince himself. You do not say anything, but just look into his eyes, still crying. Again, the two of you take time just staring at each other, until Shane cannot take it anymore. He falls back on the pillow, eyes shut tightly.

You climb on top of him again, straddling him, before kissing him. Your tears intertwine and your breaths are short, but neither of you care. You need each other, and even though you still do not know whether sex is going to help, it's better than nothing. His hands touch you whole chest, gripping your breast momentarily, before dipping under your pants. You finish what you start before and completely take off his pants. The both of you kick your pants off, and when you're done, Shane flips you over so he is back on top. You do not say anything, but guide him back to your lips. He kisses you slowly, as if he cannot put too much effort, as if all his effort has been used up. You kiss him the same way, almost crying as you do.

His hands hook around the edges of your underwear, before sliding the off. He slowly sits up as he does, and just stares at you. You're too numb or something to blush or care as his bright eyes trace your sex. His fingers gently probe you, and you shiver at his cold fingers. You try to bring him back up to your lips, but he moves away from your hands. Instead, he kisses your right knee, before tenderly kissing his way down your leg to your mound. You bit down on your lip hard as his tongue flicks your sensitive nub.

Another thought comes rushing to your head randomly; you've never reciprocated this. He has touched you and kissed you down there more times than you can count, but you've never gone down on him. You forget it as soon as you think it as he is now sucking roughly on your clitoris, and you almost scream. He does it for a couple more seconds, but then goes back up your body to give you a kiss on your lips again. The salty taste that is all you touches your lips and you moan. You squeeze his hips and pull down his boxers, and he groans in your mouth, kicking them off. His hands spread your legs apart fully so that he can position himself at your entrance.

"Oh, God. Shane." you choke out against his lips, your voice still heavy with emotions. He continues kissing you, his hands now tangled in your hair as he enters into you. He does it gently and slowly, probably gentler than when he took your virginity. He pushes himself inside you until he practically hits your cervix, and you whimper throatily into his mouth. He separates from your lips to catch a breath and leans against your forehead. His hips start moving very slowly against yours as he looks into your eyes. You can see his eyes are still bright and you know yours are still damp.

You feel like laughing at the pure intensity of it all. This has never happened before between the two of you, and you're not sure what triggered it. Nate? The song? Or does he finally trust you? You whimper again, still looking him straight in his eyes, as he thrusts into you again. He gasps softly your tightness clamps around him, and drops his head to the nook of your neck. You moan as he starts kissing you on your neck, both of you breathing hard. His hand suddenly leaves your hair and slides down your body slowly, before going between your legs. As he thrusts inside you again, his hand goes to you clitoris once more and starts to rub it firmly. You cry out, your nails digging into his back as he tries to thrust into you and pleasure you at the same time. "Shane. Shane. Shane. Shane!" you keep repeating his name and he comes back to your mouth to quiet you down a bit.

His hot tongue sweeps into your mouth as he pushes down on you clit harder. The combination of his thrusts, his tongue, and his fingers are driving you over the edge and you start seeing red behind your eyes. He groans hard and his hand grips your hair and pillow roughly as you close around him. "Oh, God! Mitchie." He moans loudly as he rips his mouth away from yours. He meets your eyes again as you open your mouth in a silent scream as your orgasm hits you hard. His pace quickens considerably and he bites down hard on your neck as he starts to lose control. Tears start going down your face again from the pain or from pleasure. You really have no idea.

When he finishes, he leans against your forehead again. His eyes are smoldering and you cannot help but shake against his skin. He is still rocking his hips with yours as he breathes out in exhaustion, and you arch your body up towards him. He kisses your lips once more, before getting out of you gently. You suck in a breath when the cold harsh air hits your exposed body, free of his warmth. He quickly comes back to your side and wraps an arm around body, and you immediately snuggle against him, kissing his neck softly. His arms wrap around you tightly and you turn to face him, your eyes sparkling with tears.

"You were right." You say quietly. "We are so totally fucked up." Shane does not answer you; he just closes his eyes.

**XxX**


	5. Chapter 5

"**I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well." White Horse -Taylor Swift. **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 5

You moan softly as the burning water hits your cold skin, and you notice you are trembling harshly. You look at your skin and notice the violent bruises you have along your body, especially in your inner thighs and hips. The pain is somewhat unbearable. His hands are imprinted along your body, but you know that his body has your mark as well. You bite your lip as you remember the way your nails dug into him the night before as you screamed. You sigh and stay still under the hot water, too numb and tired and bruised to do anything else as you close your eyes.

You think maybe there was a break through last night with Shane. Maybe now he trusts you. Maybe now he loves you. Or maybe he is still scared. Is he even scared? Or does he act that way so that he can manipulate your feelings later? You let a couple of tears fall as you decide that you are not worth that. What would be the point of him manipulating or using you? You cannot give him anything that anyone else could not give him. Even sex could be better with other, prettier, sexier girls than you. You do not matter in this world, so maybe that means the reason that he picked you is because he truly wants you.

Right?

You sniff lightly as your hands trace down your own body, noticing your small breasts and tiny body. The thoughts running through your head are so self depreciating that they make you cry even harder. Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door, and you gasp frightened. You left Shane sleeping profoundly in the bed, and he usually does not hear your cries. "Um, come in?" you say hoarsely, and you see him push open the door tiredly. He is rubbing his eyes, and you realize that the only reason he knocked was to lean against the door to close his eyes. As he walks in, you notice that he does not shy away from looking at your body as he once did. You notice that he is so unbelievably comfortable with your nakedness, and that makes you even sadder. What if he doesn't care anymore?

"Mitchie, what's wrong?" he says, just as hoarsely, except he is tired. You shrink behind the see-through curtain and shake your head. He furrows his eyebrows and starts to take off his boxers so that he is completely naked also. You freeze as he moves the curtain aside and joins you from behind. You run a hand through your hair and turn around to face him, tears still running down your face. Now that you are closer to him, you notice the red around his eyes and cheeks. His hand comes up to your face and he gives you a worried look, wiping your tears. "What's wrong?" he repeats, connecting your foreheads. You shake your head again, your wet hair hitting both you and him. He sighs exasperatedly and looks down, and scared look goes on his face. "What's with the blood?" he asks, his eyes widening. Your eyebrows lower questioningly and you follow his gaze.

A thin strip of bright red blood runs down your leg, and you groan loudly. You put your hands to your face, squeezing your temples roughly. "Please get out of the shower, Shane." you try to say as fiercely as you can, but your voice is muffled behind your hands.

"Uh, no." Shane says fear still present in his voice. "What's with the blood, Mitchie?" he asks again, this time louder and sterner. You sigh again, and throw you head back with frustration. Tears prick your eyes again. This is so not the time for him to actually want to know things.

"I'm a fucking girl, Shane. Think about it." you say, as emotions get the best of you. Suddenly, you are screaming at him. "Get the fuck out." His eyes flutter and his eyebrows raise, and the tears fall from your eyes again. You sink down to the floor and let the burning water hit you. Shane stays where he is as he watches the blood swirl down the drain. Guilt immediately runs through your body. You didn't mean to scream at him, but the embarrassment was too much. "I'm sorry." You whisper, looking down. "I didn't mean to scream." You say truthfully.

Shane rolls his eyes at you. "Yeah, you did." He spits out, and you can hear the anger in his voice. "I thought I hurt you last night or that you somehow hurt yourself just now, Mitchie." He says fiercely, looking down at you. You continue looking at the same spot, crying and feeling pathetic. "That's why I asked. I'm sorry if I care." He says angrily, already moving to leave. You immediately look up and your eyes clash violently. Your wet bangs and tears are blocking your view of him as he glares at you, but you can still see him come close to you. He kneels down on the ground, sighing angrily and looking at you sternly. You cannot bear to look him in the eyes, but rather stare at the pink draining down. Your face crumples again and you start crying as he pulls you to him. You immediately wrap your arms around his neck, ignoring the pain in your lower abdomen, and he lets go of his anger.

"Mitch, why are you crying?" he asks after a while. You scoff and wipe your eyes. Why? That's a very good question. You grab your lower stomach as the ache increases. Stupid cramps, you think. You can feel something inside you, maybe your conscience telling you something, but you are in too much pain, in too much depression to care.

"I have my period, Shane." you say, pointing out the obvious. He rolls his eyes, but nods. You can see his wrist go in a circle, telling you to go on. "_And_…" you trail off, before looking up at him fiercely. "I'm not having sex with you when I have my period." You tell him and you see him smirk.

"I can see how that could be upsetting." He says cockily, making an intentionally cute face at you. You do not give in, but instead, continue looking at him harshly. He sighs, and gets closer to you to connect your foreheads softly. "I don't get it." He admits, furrowing his eyebrows. "We can't have sex. Fine." He says shrugging his shoulders. A small smirk goes on his face again. "We can still make out though, right?" he says, laughing a little bit.

His laugh pierces your heart. You've never really hear him laugh, but when he does, God, it's so beautiful. Your eyes soften, and try to maintain your soberness. "I guess." You say shrugging, running a hand through your hair. "That's not what I'm talking about though." You tell him pointblank, rubbing your stomach softly. He raises an eyebrow and sighs, his hands going up in defeat.

"Well then tell me sweetie." He says exasperatedly, blowing out hard. "Because I do not get it." You roll your eyes at him, and shake your head.

"Obviously." You mutter darkly. Shane's eyes widen again, and he looks at you shocked. You are always so soft and nice with him.

"Whoa, you get feisty when you're PMSing." He says, biting his lip. You turn to him and glare at him. He smiles, and brushes you're hair back. You furrow your eyebrows when his eyes become sad. "I think I know why you're feeling this way." He whispers softly, still biting his lip. You raise an eyebrow, wincing slightly at the pain again.

"Really?" you say scoffing. "Because I think you have no idea." You say bitterly.

"I think I do." He states giving you a strong look. You look at him from behind your overgrown bangs, and wordlessly tell him to guess. He rolls his eyes. "I think that you think that I'm using you for sex." You close your eyes and look down.

"I guess it all depends on what minute you ask me. One minute yeah I think that. The next I remember I'm not exactly a model that can provide this amazing sex life." You say sarcastically, and you jump when he laughs again. That's the second time in minutes.

"Oh, Mitchie. I have to disagree. " He says, shaking his head, a smirk back on his face. "I would totally use you for sex." He says laughing. You look at him hurt, and tears prick your eyes again. His eyes soften, and he brushes your bangs back. "But I'm not, baby. Trust me." He promises, connecting your foreheads again. He gives you a small smile. "Mitchie, I'm the guy that went through two years of high school and never slept with anyone. I'm the guy that been in the industry for two years and never slept with anyone. Baby, I'm an eighteen year old guy that does not – did not need sex. Then, I met you and I really can't control myself with you." He admits, shrugging his shoulders.

You sniff and wrap your arms around your legs. Are you intentionally trying to hide the bruises from Shane? "I'm sorry. Is that supposed to make me feel better?" you ask trying to be icy, but failing miserably.

He smiles at you, and kisses your forehead. "Not really. I'm just telling you the truth. Maybe I am using you for sex…" he says truthfully as he scrunches his nose. You scoff and look at him hurt again. He ignores you, and continues on. "I think of having sex with any other girl, and it makes me shudder. It is really disgusting and I don't know. It seems when you have sex you expose yourself too much. I hate showing people who I am really, just in case it backfires on me. But with you… it's different." He tells you, biting the inside of his lip.

You look at him shocked. "You're not afraid of trusting me anymore?" you ask, looking at him incredulously. He breathes out slowly, before shaking his head.

"Some time last night I decided I'm gonna trust you and…" Shane starts, before gulping and looking up. "Love you fully without hesitation." Your breath gets stuck in your throat as your heart beats faster. When he looks back at you, his eyes are bright. "Just don't hurt me." He whispers vulnerably. You put a hand to his cheek softly, and shake your head.

You connect your forehead with his. "Same, Shane." you tell him fiercely, and he nods at you. He sighs as the now warm water hits him, and reaches behind you to grab the shampoo bottle. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Get out." You say pushing his hand away. He looks at you exasperated.

"Not this again." he says, groaning as he stands back up. You wrap your arms around your knees, and give him a small pout. He sighs. "Mitchie, it must be like six o' clock. I have a class at eight. You have to leave soon, and you still need to take a shower. We don't have enough time." He says, as he starts to lather his head.

"Dude, I have my period. I have to…clean myself." You say, struggling to find the right words. He rolls his eyes, but bites his lip. It's an uncomfortable situation, but he's right. The two of you do not have enough time to be embarrassed and disgusted.

"I realize that. I also know we have about no time to fret about that right now. So, you have your period. I'm man enough to not make a big deal about it." He says shrugging as he massages his head. You raise an eyebrow, but don't say anything. He steps in front of the shower to wash his hair out, and you are greeted with his side. You softly kiss his thigh, before positioning yourself in front of him. He looks down at you as you put yourself face to face with his penis. He shakes his head, and gently pushes you away, scrunching his nose. "Don't Mitchie." He says softly.

Suddenly, it becomes a game, and you do not care that he is still in the bathroom even after you threw him out like three times. You smirk and raise your head up at him, all while keeping your reddening thighs closed. "Why not, Shane? I thought this wasn't disgusting?" you say throatily, as your hands go up his thighs getting dangerously close to _him._ He gasps, and you literally see his eyes darken. You put your lips close to his hardening member, and he jumps away from you. A sharp pain goes through you, and you almost cry out from it.

"Whoa, Mitchie. We do not have enough time. Plus, I though you said we couldn't have sex." He says shakily, ignoring your pain. You do not answer, but rather lean against the wall, your head up looking at him, trying to get over the pain. He sighs. "Have you washed you hair yet?" he asks hoarsely, his eyes still dark with desire. You shake your head and reach out for the shampoo, but he grabs your arm and pulls you up roughly. You moan and glare at Shane through hooded eyes, and he turns you around painfully by pushing your hip so that he could get access to your hair.

"Ow! Jesus Christ! Shane Grey!" you scream as shoots of pain goes throughout your body. You swear you see red behind your eyes, and you barely hear him gasp in fear. You double over in pain as it is too much. His arms are immediately around you, holding you frightfully.

"Mitchie! What's wrong? Oh, Christ." He groans as he notices the bruises along your hips. But here's the thing. Sure the pain from the bruises suck, but they're not the reason you're doubled over. You can tell the horrible ache is from inside you. "I'm so sorry, Mitch." He saying over and over again as tears run down your face and you're screaming. You grab hold of his hand and squeeze tightly, crying loudly. The pain is too much. His eyes widened in fear, and suddenly, he's crying too. "What's wrong? Mitchie, c'mon, I didn't grab you that hard." His voice is trembling and he is honestly afraid.

You can barely talk. You can barely see. You can barely breathe. "Get my mom, Shane." you manage to tell him, choking as you do. He freezes and he opens his mouth in shock. You shake your head, as you grit your teeth in pain. "I don't care, Shane! Get my mom." You repeat and he nods at you. He immediately picks you off the floor and turns off the now cold water. He carries you to the bed and gently puts you there, as you try not to scream out in pain again. He pulls on some clothes as quickly as he can and grabs the clothes you had from yesterday. He goes back to the bed swiftly, and helps you sit up as softly as he can. "Shane." you cry out. He looks at you, eyes full of tears. "It's the end of the mouth." You say, your voice breaking, as sweat goes down your face.

He gives you a confused look as he tries to put your bra back on, but you're not helping him. "Mitch, c'mon, I'm trying to dress you so I can get your mom." He tells you as he clasps it on. More tears fall down your face as you shake your head.

"It's the end of the month. I get my period at the very beginning of the month." You say fearfully, as you sob from the pain. Shane furrows his eyebrows and shrugs.

"It's a week apart. What's the difference?" he asks, as he slips your shirt back on. His hand tenderly goes to your legs to separate them, and he winces at the amount of blood between your legs. He grabs the pillow and takes off the pillowcase so that he could press it against your mound. You hiss at the feeling as he cleans you, staining the bed sheets as he does.

"Everything in the world." You say as you throw your head back. You close your eyes tightly. "I'm on the Pill, Shane. My period is set. It has been all year since I got to regulate my period. It's not gonna change one day to the next." You say through gritted teeth, as he picks up your underwear and pants off the floor. "Don't. I shouldn't put those on." You tell him, as the tears block your vision. Except it's not the tears blocking your vision. Black spots are flickering in front of your eyes. "Shane." you moan, scared. The tears rolling down his face double harshly, and he kisses your forehead.

"I'll be right back." He promises you, as he helps you lay down better and puts a blanket over your naked lower body. "The caf is right there. I'll be right back." He repeats, as he throws on a jacket and is already running out the door. You bury yourself in the pillow roughly, as the blackness increases. You cannot breathe anymore and the pain is too great. You squeeze the pillow violently as you lose consciousness somewhat. You coughing from the tears and you are rolling around in the bed, halfway screaming out loud. It feels like forever that you are alone, and by the time the cabin door opens again, you are barely conscious. You feel your blanket come off your legs and a skirt put there quickly. Suddenly, you're being carried out the door and you feel the warmth that is Shane against you.

"Okay, I got her." He says to someone. You open your eyes and try to piece together to who he is talking to. The one thing you know is that it is not your mother. It is a teenage boy you realize, as Shane lays you down in the back of a car. You slip in and out of consciousness throughout the ride, and you can barely think or breathe. All you know is that you need Shane next to you. His arms are tightly around you as he whispers sweet nothings into your ear, full of emotion. He is brushing your hair back over and over again as you cough again. Why are you feeling this? What's going on? Are you going to be okay?

The thoughts plague you over and over again, but you still black out. When you wake up, you are in a completely different place. You immediately sit up and see Shane next to you in a chair, head in hands. When he hears your rustling, he looks up and you are met with bright red eyes. He quickly gets up and sits next to you on the bed, and you reach for him for a tight hug. You realize you're in a hospital of some kind, and bury yourself in his body. "What happened?" you ask, your voice muffled against his body. He kisses your forehead as your heart beats loudly in your chest. "How did we get here?"

"Um, Nate got someone to drive us. I didn't get your mom, sorry. I will now if you want." He tells you numbly, barely noticing what he is saying. You look at him as he shakes from trying to hold it together unsuccessfully.

"What happened?" you ask again.

"Your birth control pills were affecting your body. Apparently it was messing with your uterus and causing blood clots." He tells you, and you cannot help but blink. A fear goes throughout your body and you look at him seriously.

"But I'm gonna have kids when I grow up, right?" you say panicking. Your heart is going too fast and his eyes are too sad. You're crying hysterically suddenly as you wait for his answer. He is pulling you close to him, kissing you and putting a hand to your stomach. He opens his mouth to say something, but it cannot get past his lips. Your heart breaks and you are pulling your hair roughly.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" you scream, your throat burning suddenly as you break down. "Are you fucking telling me that I mess up my body by taking those fucking pills?" you say, sobbing as he pulls you to his chest. Tears fall down his face as he shakes his head no. you look up at him in hopeful depression, your eyes bright and filled with tears.

"You will be able to have kids when you grow up Mitchie." He tells you, and your breath gets caught in your throat. You look at him and your tears increase; so does his. He is holding you so tightly and looking so sad. You put your hands around your stomach as you cry in his shoulder and he breaks down next to you. You stay like that for minutes or hours or days. Just holding each other. His hands trace down your body, and he kisses your forehead softly. "Oh, Mitchie." He chokes out, his face crumpling with tears. You freeze as you notice that he has something more to say, and you do not want to hear.

Because if it breaks Shane Grey's heart, there's no telling what it will do to you. He keeps holding you in tragic agony. Thoughts run wild in your mind as every possible scenario come to you. You pale as the obvious one comes crashing at you. "Oh, Christ." You breathe out, looking at him in the eyes. "Am I preg…?" you cannot even finish the sentence before he starts to cry harder. He bites his lip so hard as you put a hand to your stomach. "Shane…" you say when he does not answer you. He opens his mouth to answer, but his voice is caught. So he just shakes his head. "Wait. I'm not pregnant?" you say in confusion. Your head suddenly feels like it's going to explode.

He looks at you with a tragic expression. "Not anymore Mitch. You had a miscarriage. That's why there was so much blood." He tells you, and your world stops.


	6. Chapter 6

"**It might get rough sometimes, but I hope she keeps the faith." Appreciate – Nicholas Jonas **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 5

Life starts. And then it's over. There is a beginning. There is an end. But how are you supposed to deal with it? Where in life does it tell you how to handle a death? Because this is what this is to you. A death. A miscarriage. An ending before a beginning even started.

Did you want a child at fifteen? Of course not. It has never exactly been in your plans to be having sex when you're so young. You were not ready the first time you had sex with Shane, and neither was he. Hell, you weren't ready the second time the both of you had sex. But then, it was like not even destiny could keep the two of you apart. The feelings he creates inside you make you speechless, and being the naïve girl you are, that is all you've ever wanted.

But now, it's like your whole life and perceptive has changed. How do you react to do this? You cannot even talk; you do not know what to say. You just keep crying into the white stuffy pillow, your scratchy gown wrapped around your body. Shane's arms are around your body, holding you, but you can hardly feel him. You do not care about Shane anymore. All you can feel is the pain. You keep screaming and crying to the point that the doctors give you sedatives. You feel the drugs calming you down forcefully as Shane rubs your arm again and again. "Shh, it's okay." He tells you over and over again. You lose consciousness somewhat, but not completely. You are just dazed and drugged, but you still see a boy come in the hospital room.

He has curly hair, but it is messy, like if he had his hands dug into them for a long time. He looks angry or disappointed or sad. You cannot tell at all. His eyes look over you and Shane laying on the bed with Shane's arms tightly around you. Shane lets go of you and sits up, crying softly as he looks at his youngest bandmate. Nate comes closer to you, as you look at his with hooded eyes. He stares at you, as Shane stares at him. "I can't believe you had sex with her." You hear Nate say softly, as if he was a mile away. Shane pulls you close to him again and you hear him gulp loudly.

"I know, Nate, but I really like her." He responds, kissing your forehead softly. "I know we made that promise, but –" Shane continues, but Nate cuts him off angrily.

"Forget the fucking promise Shane! She's just a child. How old is she? Is she even my age?" He screams, and you want to stay awake longer but your eyes keep drooping. You try to raise your head to talk, but all you manage to do is moan softly. They both look at you alerted. Shane softly runs his hands through your hair and kisses your forehead again. Nate sighs harshly. "God, Shane." He groaned frustrated.

Shane does not let go off you or even turn to Nate. "Go to sleep baby. I promise everything will be fine." He whispers in your ear, rubbing your arm. To Nate, he gives a glare. "Stop with the fucking judging and go fuck yourself, will you?" he says angrily. "She's in pain, and she really does not need you right now. This sucks enough without you!" he says through gritted teeth. Nate bites his lip and scoffs loudly.

"You know, when I said to find something to do that would keep you from being depressed, a fourteen year old was not what I had in mind." Nate yells, his eyes dangerous. Shane closes his eyes and holds you tighter.

"She's sixteen in two months, kid. She is older than you, asshole." Shane says, his tone icy. You cannot really tell anything else or hear anything else between the two of them. You lose conscious completely after a while. When you wake up again, Shane is gone from your side. Nate however is still there, sitting in the chair besides the bed. You blink at him, as you rub the sleepiness from your eyes. His deep brown eyes meet yours, and they look so sad, you feel pain everywhere. Every thought comes back to you as you looked into his eyes. You lost a child.

"Hi." Nate whispers, wringing his hands, his face so depressed.

You bite you lip, and clear your throat, wincing at the roughness. He immediately gets up and passes you some ice chips. You sit up and take them graciously. "Where's Shane?" you ask, running a hand through your hair. Nate sighs and his eyes grow darker.

"He went to get your mom." He tells you, and your heart stops. "I told him it was for the best." He tells you, and you realize all the rumors that he is the most serious are actually true. You look away from him, and just lay back on the bed numbly. "Plus, in order to discharge you, you need a parent." _A parent._ The tears go back to your eyes and the unbelievable gut wrenching feeling goes throughout your body. He is talking again, but the pain is too much for you to handle. Your heart is breaking with every second. "Hey, are you okay?" Nate says, shaking your shoulder gently.

You give him a harsh glare. "Yeah, I'm a o-fucking-kay." Nate's eyes widen and he looks at you shocked.

"Wow." He says under his breath softly. "I guess, you're not really a fan." He assumes, a slight amused look in his eyes mixed with the tragic one. You give a humorless laugh. It is bitter and filled with tears.

"Not at all. I love Shane. Sorry." You say with mocking coldness. He blinks at you and lets out a long whistle, completely taken aback.

"Whoa, sweetie." The surprise is clear in his voice as his eyes harden. "I was just wondering if you were fine. I know this must be hard for you." He says, trying to calm himself down. You scoff and laugh again, the pain inside you spreading everywhere through you. You bring your knees up and hug them tightly, tears brimming in your eyes. You turn to him, hair flying and eyes glaring.

"How the fuck would you know!" you yell, tears falling. "You have no idea what I'm going through. I lost a child. I half way messed up my body. I lost my virginity to someone who cannot even tell me he truly love me." Nate winces at the last sentence and he looks at you with a mixture of sadness and guilt.

"I'm sorry about that. What Shane did is unforgivable." He whispers, running a hand through his hair. You breathe in harshly, pulling back shocked. You suddenly shake your head, hair again sticking to your face from the sweat. He looks at you strangely.

"No." you say firmly. "If he would have kept ignoring what we had, it would have been unforgivable. So, he can't say 'I love you'. So what? I still love him, and nothing is going to take me away from him. I swear to God Nate. I love him, and I need him. I don't care about the media or anything. We will be together." You say as sternly as you can with tears falling violently down your cheeks. He still looks at you, shaking his head sadly. You wish you could slap him. "I know what I'm doing." You say shakily and he looks at you pointedly. "I'm not a child." You tell him.

"Yeah, you are." He whispers, and you glare at him. However, the door flew open just then, and he backs away. You see Shane come in, a defeat and depressed Shane, and immediately reach for him. He swiftly goes to you and hugs you tightly. You break down against his chest, and he tightens his arms around you, burying his head in the nook of your neck. You feel Nate stand up and cough uncomfortably, but you continue squeezing each other roughly. You cannot pull away from him, even when you feel him try to untangle you from him. You open your eyes, vision blurred by tears, and look at him confused. Then, you realize there is another person in the room.

She is crying just as hard as you are, and looking at you with such heartbreak, that you start sobbing violently. Shane is rubbing your back and arms again. "Calm down, baby. Please." He begs, his voice breaking. You try to compose yourself, but you simply cannot. You do not know why it even hurts so much, but it does. It's killing you. Your mom moves closer to you and Shane tries to get your body off his.

"No." you protest, your fingers digging into his back hurtfully. You see your mother mouth your name, but you cannot hear her. You do not want to hear her. You just want this to go away. Shane kisses your cheek softly, and you breathe in his warmth. Your mother looks at both of you with tragic disbelief.

"How long?" she chokes out, her voice completely broken. You swallow very hard and bury yourself in Shane's shoulder, before facing your mother again. You can see the disappointment in her eyes, as she looks from Shane to you in astonishment. Finally, after you do not say anything for a long time, she turns to Shane, anger growing behind her eyes. "How could you?" she asks, her voice filled with tears. Shane opens his mouth but does not say anything. "Just who… do you think you are?" she chokes out again. Shane opens his mouth again, but you cut him off.

"No." you whisper, not as loudly as you did before. Everyone turns to you, Nate sighing in the background. "Mom." You say almost inaudibly, and you try to convey how you feel to her with your eyes. She closes her eyes, as tears fall down her face, and she brings a hand to your head. Shane backs away slowly in order for you to get to her, but you do not let go of him. Even as he moves back, you move forward with him, squeezing his sides. Your mom looks at the two of you and sighs dejectedly, and Shane gives you a heartbreaking look. You realize that you are acting way too desperate, especially in front of your mother, but you cannot stop.

She opens her mouth in the same manner as Shane did before, before looking to the ceiling. "How am I supposed to deal with this, huh, Mija? My fifteen year old daughter is obviously having sex with a guy who way too old for her, and she just lost a child." She says, looking at you like you are not her daughter. You wince and move closer to Shane. He sighs and tries to keep you away from him while still hugging you.

"Mom." You repeat, even though you are looking at straight at Shane hurtfully. His eyes are filled with concern and worry, but at the same time filled with tears.

"Oh, God." Your mother moans, scoffing emotionally. You both turn to her, and Shane's face is etched with guilt and sorrow. "What is this!" she says loudly, pointing at the two of you angrily. Shane gulps and breathes out harshly.

"I'm so sorry." He says, and his voice is extremely hoarse. Your mom looks at Shane with bright eyes. "I know this is wrong, but I didn't… I've never…" Shane keeps trailing off as he gulps back tears. "I do love her." He whispers brokenly, and your heart stops again. Your breath gets caught in your throat, and you barely hear your mom start sobbing.

"Shane, what's wrong with you?" Nate suddenly screams at him, jumping up and halfway pulling his hair out. Shane doesn't look over his shoulder to him, but just closes his eyes. You start crying harshly and bury yourself in Shane's chest. "How can you take advantage of her like this?" Nate spits out disgustedly. You gasp at his words, and pull away from Shane to give Nate a withering stare. He winces and takes a step backwards, while your mother scoffs.

She is giving Shane the same stare you are giving Nate. "That is a very good question. How could you do this to a child?" she asks, anger lacing with the sadness in her voice. For a second, you swear you see red behind your eyes.

"I'm not a fucking child!" you explode, and your mother gasps at you. You've never cursed in front of her, much less to her. "If I'm old enough to have a child, I'm old enough to think for my fucking self!" you scream, and you hear Shane let out a soft breath. Your mother's eyes harden, and she looks away from you, biting her lip.

"Fine. If you think you're so old enough, then you'll have no problem if I tell your father what you've done." She threatens because she knows you have always been a little scared of your father. You, however, scoff and nod to her sarcastically.

"Oh, yeah. Well, I guess that would accomplish a fucking lot." You say with a cynical edge to your voice that makes Shane squeeze your side. You ignore him and continue glaring at your mother. She is looking at you with such sadness, you feel like crying again.

She shakes her head softly. "What happened to you Mitchie? You are such a sweet shy girl that would always think every little detail through." She says, tears rolling down her face. Shane gulps and you continue to ignore him. "You lied to me. You looked me in the eyes and lied." Your mom chokes out referring to when she confronted you about Shane a couple days earlier.

You shrug mirthlessly. "What was I supposed to do mom? Tell you I'm having sex with a guy that you would not approve of?" you say deadpanned as Nate takes a sharp breath. You feel Shane squirm slightly next to you, but you still do not turn towards him. Your mom stares at you and nods.

"You know you can tell me anything." She whispers and your bitter laugh cuts her off. She gives you a harsh hurt look.

"Fine, mom. I love Shane. I'm having sex with Shane. I became pregnant by Shane. I lost the baby I was going to have with Shane. I'm going to continue to see Shane." You tell her, and every time, the emphasis on Shane's name is louder. She shakes her head.

"Like hell you are." She mutters darkly under her breath, and you feel Shane breathe in. Anger and disbelief rises throughout your body, and you feel like your heart is going to explode.

"Ms. Torres, please." He begs for you. She doesn't answer, but instead gets up and goes out the door, presumably to discharge you. You finally look at Shane, and you realize he is crying still. You turn away, and give Nate a pointed glare. He sighs and leaves the room, and you immediately break down. Shane breathes in, and continues to hold you until you leave. The ride back to the camp is uncomfortable. Shane and you are in the back seat with your mother, and Nate and Jason are in the front. You briefly say hi to Jason, and he gives you an enthusiastic wave. Your mother tries to go in between you and Shane, but you situate yourself firmly beside him.

She gives you a defeated glare and sits next to you, so that you can bury yourself in Shane. By the time you return to camp, it is dark. You both missed the entire day mess around, and your mother has to. When you are out of the car, she immediately pulls you to your original cabin. You protest slightly, but other than that go without a fight. You are too tired and too much in pain to fight again. She, on the other hand, is all for it.

"Pack your bags, Michelle. We are going home tomorrow morning." She tells you coldly, and throws the suitcase to you. You stand in the same spot, but don't move. You numbly look at her as she throws clothes in her own suitcase, until she notices you are not doing anything. "Mitchie!" she warns, and you bite your lip.

"I'm sorry, mom." You whisper, and you are, but it's not going to stop you at all. "But, I'm not going home with you." You tell her, holding yourself tightly. She scoffs and gives a smirk, before pointing to the suitcase again. When you do not move, she grabs your arm roughly and practically drags you to it. "Ow, mom!" you moan.

"Pack." She orders angrily. "You getting in that car with me tomorrow, and that's final." Your mother says with such intensity, you gulp. You also shrug nonchalantly.

"Whatever mom. You can make me go home, but you cannot force me to stay. I love Shane." You repeat, and she opens her mouth to say something, but you are already running out the door. You run to the person that can make you whole again, not even worried that your mother will follow you. You just want him. As soon as you get to his cabin door, you enter without knocking. He is lying face down on the bed with a bottle of Jack Daniels next to him. When he hears you walk in, he looks up at you. You wince at his redden eyes and messed up hair, before reaching for the bottle. You take a long swing of it, coughing at the strong bitter taste as it burns your throat. He reaches up and gets off the bed, so that he can take a swing also.

It goes back and forth for a while, until neither of you are in the right state anymore. You start seeing double of everything, and eventually, you start crying harshly. He grabs you roughly and pulls you to his chest, rocking you for a while before giving you a sloppy kiss. Tears and salvia are getting the best of both of you as he moves on top of you. His breath taste just as bitter as the alcohol, but you do not mind it at all. Your shirt is off you in seconds and so are your pants. His clothes pile on the floor also, as his hands go down your frail body. When the both of you are completely naked, he gives moves to your lips again.

You move slowly with each other, kissing each other deeply. You both know what you are doing is completely wrong, especially considering what just happened, but you couldn't stop each other. You moan as he enters you, still kissing you intensely. His thrusts make you yelp softly against his mouth, but he doesn't slow down. Your nails dig into his shoulders as he increases his speed, halfway hurting you. You value the pain he is giving you; it makes you remember that you are still alive. With every move he makes inside of you, you felt your heart beat faster.

"I love you." You whisper against his lips, but he ignores you. Instead, he tears his lips from you and goes straight to your shoulder. He bites down on your soft skin and suck hard on it. He makes sure to leave a mark on, making you scream. "Oh, God!" you moan, but again, he ignored you. His hands grip your already bruised hips, making you throw your head back with pleasure. Bright colors scream in front of your eyes as pain flutters throughout your body. He bites another piece of your skin roughly, violently thrusting in you. Suddenly, you feel a warm liquid travel down your neck, and you are hit with the stinging feeling of his teeth ripping open your skin. You scream again, breathing hard at the sensation. You cough as your salvia chokes you, your head falling back, giving him more access to your neck.

You feel your muscles contract against him as the bright colors intensify. You yell as you dig your fingers all through his back. Blood pools under your nails as he moves roughly against your body, grabbing your hips hard. He kisses you again as he groans at the pleasure your body gives him. Your warm fluids make the act messier, as the friction starts to leave your bodies. The pleasure escalates immensely and he starts to convulse violently against you. You moan when he shoots his seed into you, bruising your hips even more with his grip.

He breathes hard, panting almost, and softly slides out of you. Your eyes are still blurred from your orgasm, but you can tell your entire body hurts and throbs with pain. He kisses your lips roughly, biting your bottom one violently. You cough hard, but still tried to talk. "I love you." You repeated, and he started to cry. The alcohol is pressuring you to close your eyes, but you fight against it to keep him close to you.

"Stop!" he suddenly yells, tears running down his face. You shake your head, kissing him again while crying just as hard. He immediately kisses you back, with no softness or care. You kiss him with just as much roughness, but you hold him tightly against you. When you run out of breath, he breaks away from you, still crying. You start to get hysterical next to him, burying your head in the pillow. You're not supposed to feel this way. You're just kids, whether you like or not. Shane is not exactly an adult either. He is eighteen. You are fifteen. And your baby is dead.

He kisses your throbbing, bleeding shoulder softly, and you thank the pain that shoots through you. Your arms wrap around each other, after you grab the bottle again. You finish half of what is left before handing it to Shane. He drinks it down in one gulp, before sobbing against the pillow. You cry as uncontrollably as he does, your legs and hips still throbbing with pain. "This can't be happening!" You scream into the pillow. He hugs you tightly, trying to calm you down, but he cannot even calm himself down.

The feeling of his strong muscles around your thin body should make you feel safe, but instead, all it does is make you sadder. He nuzzles his head into your chest, laying on your breasts as you cry. You stay that way for a while, finally letting the liquor bring you away from this earth. The last thing you swear you hear is him telling you he loves you.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	7. Chapter 7

"**Is this the moment where I looked you in the eye? Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry" Permanent – David Cook**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 7

It is about three in the morning when you wake up. You feel dizzy, because of the alcohol, but you ignore it as best as you can. You can feel Shane besides you, strumming on his guitar. You squirm softly, and the music abruptly stops. You do not turn to him, but rather just stare at the clock. The silence continues, until he softly starts picking at the guitar strings. You do not recognize the melody, but it is beautiful. You close your eyes, your head pounding and your heart bleeding.

You open your mouth, but you do not even realize you are talking. "You know, of course, that I never had sex before you." You say, and the music stops again. He doesn't answer, so you continue. "Did you know I never kissed a boy before you? Or that I've been made fun of my entire life?" you whisper. You do not turn to him, instead you stare off into the distance. Your stomach rumbles and you feel like throwing up. You feel like…

"Why did they make fun of you?" he asks softly. You close your eyes, trying to quell the queasiness and not cry at the same time. He goes back to his guitar, softly staring up the music again when you do not answer. You bury your head in the pillow, before standing up to go to the bathroom. You lose your balance slightly and you grab the dresser harshly to maintain it. "You okay?" Shane asks alerted.

For some reason, fury runs throughout your body. You feel angry. You feel overwhelmed. "Now you care." You say as you walk to the bathroom. You do not turn back to see his reaction. You do not turn back to see him at all. You immediately close the door behind you when you step into the bathroom. Your heart clenches roughly when you notice the blood stains on the tile floor. You sit down on the toilet, cover still on, and start to cry. It hurts and you do not know how to fix it. You bring your knees up to hug them when you hear the door open. You do not face him, and you try to wipe your tears away.

Shane sighs and moves closer to you. "Why are you mad at me?" you furrow your eyebrows, wondering how he could know that, until you remember what you said in passing. He takes your silent confusion as more anger and moves so that he is in front of you. "Mitchie." He says, putting a couple fingers under your chin so that you will look at him. Even though his touch is tantalizing, you shy away from it. "Mitchie." He repeats again, shock present in his voice this time. "What the fuck is your problem?" he asks, hurt entering his voice. Anger rises within you again as you finally turn to him.

"What is my problem? What is my problem!" you repeat, screaming at him. He blinks at you, completely shocked, and you notice how disheveled he looks. His usually pristine hair is all over the place. His eyes are rimmed with bright red. "I just lost a child, Shane!" you are still yelling. He looks at you strangely, before looking away. When he speaks to you, his voice is seriously guarded.

"Did you want a baby, Mitchie?" he asks, and you furrow your eyebrows angrily. You look at him with your eyes narrowed.

"Well, considering I'm only fifteen, obviously." You say sarcastically, a bitter edge to your voice. He narrows his eyes also and puts his hand on the underside of your face. Shane makes you look at him and the two of you share a tense look. You notice he is struggling with something as his eyes are stormy. You scoff furiously. "God, do you think I was trying to get pregnant on purpose or something? So, I can show up to People and tell them Shane 'Mr. Purity' Gray got me fucking pregnant?" his look is still very guarded. "You're unbelievable." You mutter, as you get off the toilet. He closes his eyes, but his expression softens. You try to move around him, but he wraps his arms around your waist.

You know that his arms provide comfort, but you cannot let yourself be pulled in by him. "Mitchie." He says, as you leave him and go back into the bedroom. He watches you as you put clothes back on, before sighing roughly. His eyes are bright and he looks hurt. "Let's just leave." He whispers, and you finally stop moving around. You look back to him and notice how sad he seems. You look at him incredulously.

"Where? Shane, where do you want to go?" you ask, putting on your sweater swiftly. He gulps and shrugs.

"Anywhere. We can to… anywhere." He is talking, but you can hear the brokenness in his tone. You close your eyes, letting some tears fall, but do not look at him. "We can be together. You know that." He continues, almost begging you. You freeze and do not move as he comes behind you. You breathe in and close your eyes as he wraps his arms around your waist. "Look, I know it is difficult. I know that Connie doesn't want us together, but we can just run away. I wish I can get out of this life. I hate being a celebrity. Please, let's go." His voice is so vulnerable as he speaks to you, you can almost hear the tension in his voice.

It kills you completely, his vulnerability. You close your eyes, as you heart breaks, and he softly kisses your neck. His hands hug your body tighter, his warmness startling you as he rubs your stomach gently. He gasps hurt when you break away from him. The tears come rushing to your eyes as he freezes behind you, but the harsh knocking at the door break both of you out of the stupor.

"Shane! Open the goddamn door!" a voice yells furiously, and you immediately recognize it as Brown. Your breathing is violently loud as your eyes widen, but Shane continues to look painfully at you. You turn around and look at him, noticing the intense look in his eyes.

"Please." He whispers, his eyes bright as the loud knocking continues. "Let's just go." He says, as he brings a hand to your face. His touch is so warm and nice, but you back away from it. He opens his mouth shocked, and you look back at the door to look away from him. You do not know why you want, but your heart is breaking with every second. You gulp as disgust runs through your veins; you are a slut. A whore that slept with a guy after knowing him a week and became pregnant a month or so later. You hug your body tightly as his eyes harden and he looks at you in pure disbelief. The knocking suddenly stops as someone else's voice starts calling through the door.

"Michelle Lucia Torres, ¡abre esta puerta horita mismo!" your mother yells in Spanish. Shane is breathing hard, shaking as his eyes burn through you.

"You promised." He says in a soft but strong whisper. His tone is icy and bitter, as you turn around to face him. You wince at his expression. "You promised you would not hurt me. You promised you loved me." He continues, and you notice the coldness that is Shane Grey is back. Your breath gets caught in your throat and for a second, you forget the horribleness you feel inside and just want to help him.

"I do love you, Shane." You tell him, as the yelling continues. You bet that other campers are now waking up because of the noise.

He sighs and pulls you close by your waist. "Then, let's leave. Just me and you." You bite your lip and close your eyes, the loudness even more apparent. Suddenly, his lips on yours and you can feel his whole body press against yours. He pulls away slightly and talks against your lips. "Can we please just run away?" his voice is so pure and vulnerable, you manage to swallow your disgust for yourself. You let yourself be cradled by his touch.

Suddenly, you are going out the back way, running at a car parked down the small hill. You instantly remember it as the one that drove you to the hospital yesterday, and you have a horrifying thought, wondering if your blood had stained the car seats. You can still hear Brown and your mother yelling, but you try to ignore it as fear and anxiety pump within you. Your heart is beating outrageously fast as you almost slip and fall, before reaching the car door.

Shane starts the car immediately and a blast of cold air hits you harshly. You bite back a scream of surprise as you turn down the air conditioner and he races out the driveway. You cannot hear the screams anymore, but you do not know whether it's because the noise of the car or they stopped. You are still breathing hard, and you are clawing at your wrists.

You try to talk, but your throat is scratchy and rough. You clear it uncomfortably and he looks at you for a second. "Where are we even going Shane?" you ask softly, you voice still raw.

He shrugs. "Anywhere." He tells you, and you can see brightness in his eyes. Fear runs inside you and you sit up straighter in your sit.

"Well, wherever we go, at least tonight, we have to make it close." You tell him, and he furrows his eyebrows at you. You bite your lip again as you make it on the highway. He makes his way to the left lane and is going too fast, and you close your eyes.

"Shane, you've been drinking. We've been drinking." You correct yourself immediately. "I don't really want to die tonight, or get pulled over by the cops." Shane sighs and rolls his eyes, but gradually makes his way back to the right lane, going ten miles per hour slower. You sigh and start looking at signs, especially the blue ones.

"There's a Days Inn at exit 132." You turn to him as you say it, and catch his expression of disgust. He immediately shakes his head, and you raise an eyebrow. "Okay… there's a Holiday Inn at – okay, what the hell's your problem?" you say angrily as he gives you another face full of repulsion.

"Dude, find a Hilton. Or better yet, find a Marriott." He tells you, his voice dripping with superiority. You cross your arms and give him a hard look. When he notices it, he rolls his eyes. "Have you ever been to a Hilton or Marriott? Now's your chance to check one out." He says, trying to give you a charming smile, but at the same time completely drained.

"I don't want to check on out. Plus, my mom and Brown will be looking for us. The first place they will look is at those hotels. Let's just lay low tonight." You can see the realization come into his eyes and he sighs frustratedly. "Please." You add for good measure. He groans, and does not answer you. Still, you know he's going to do it. "Thanks." You whisper and he nods.

He looks at you uncertainly. "Why didn't you want to come at first?" he asks, after a while of silence. You close your eyes and look out the window. Because you feel like a whore. Because you just lost a child and had sex the very same night. Because you feel something brewing inside you that blames Shane for what happened.

"I don't know." You lie, shrugging, still not looking at him. He bites his lip and nods.

"Are you okay, Mitchie?" he asks, as he moves towards the exit. You give a strange look and shrug again. "Mitch, you just lost a child." You wince as he says those words and stay silent. "We had a fight in there. I don't know. Now we're leaving. It's kind of a lot for me. I can't imagine for a fifteen year old girl." He tells you, and it almost breaks your heart.

You don't say anything though, and he swiftly goes to the motel entrance. He is too tired to make a face or to even make you answer. You lay against the window as he parks in front of the main office. He gives you a look that tells you to stay in the car, and you nod. You close your eyes, your stomach moving around at a great pace.

It's the first time you have ever touched liquor. It was and is never your idea of fun, but it provided momentary comfort that did not last throughout the night. It gave you warmth, but so did Shane. It gave you comfort, but so did Shane. It gave you false hope, but so did Shane. You smile, and wonder if Shane is your kind of liquor. He's your addiction. Your drug.

You know you should not be here. You know your mother is probably freaking out and calling the cops, probably stating kidnapping and statutory rape. Fear bubbles inside you again, as you hold yourself tighter. You reach for your phone you packed inside you coat pocket and notice the twenty missed calls. You wonder why you didn't feel the vibrations, but shrug it away.

_Mom, Mom, Caitlyn, unknown number, unknown number, Caitlyn, Mom, Mom, Camp Rock, Mom, unknown number, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Caitlyn, Mom, Mom, Caitlyn, unknown number. _

You read the names and number, and swallow down the bile rising in your throat. You look up and see Shane still in line behind an old lady, and press the send button on one of the numbers. When the voice hits your ears, for a second you think it is Shane, so you look up. He is still in line.

"Hello? Mitchie?" the voice says again, and you furrow your eyebrows.

"Nate?" you ask shocked. "Whoa, how did you get my number?" you hear at lot of moving around on his end, and he starts to say something, before you realize the phone is ripped from him.

"Mitchie! Where are you? Are you okay? Come back to Camp Rock this instant!" it's your mother, and you can tell she's been crying. You debate whether to just close the phone or to talk. You look up again; Shane is now talking to the woman behind the counter, pulling his hat over his eyes.

"Mom, I'm fine." You finally say, and she breathes out a sigh of relief. "I'm at a motel with Shane. I just… need to get away." You choke out, and suddenly you're crying. "Mom, it hurts. It's like I have an empty hole in my heart, and right now, the only person that can fix it is Shane." You do not know why, but what you just said sounds like a lie, even to your own ears.

"Oh, Mitchie. I know it hurts, but I can help." She pleads with you. "Come back."

You see Shane get some things from the woman, and head towards the door. "I talk to you later, Mom. Tomorrow or something. I'm fine, okay. Don't call the cops or anything. Don't do something drastic. I love you." You say, as you lean all the way back so Shane would not see you on the phone. You close the phone quickly and throw it back into your coat, as he opens the car door.

"Okay, we have room 23." He says, sighing, his eyes closing in sleepiness. You nod and watch as he gracefully enters the car.

"Why does Nate have my phone number?" you blurt out, and he looks at you strangely. "There was a bunch of missed calls from this unknown number, so I called it. It turned out to be Nate. How did he get my number?" you explain, and he bites his lip before sighing.

You can tell he doesn't want to answer, but he does anyways as you slowly trek down to your motel room. "Nate is worried about you." He whispers, not looking at you. This time you give him a strange look, and he runs a hand through his hair. "He thinks I'm taking advantage of you, so he probably stole my phone and copied your number into his phone." He confesses, as he rounds the corner, looking for a parking spot.

You nod numbly, looking for a spot also. "Why does he even care?" you ask, not looking at him.

He shrugs. "I don't know. I think he thinks I'm bringing you down. I had a bad couple months, and I was seriously out of it for a while. He thinks I'm gonna hurt you. Plus, you are younger than me." He finishes, parking the car but not taking out the keys. You wince slightly at his words, but don't say anything. He slowly gets out of the car and you follow suit.

The motel room is on the first floor and when you open it, you are immediately hit with a strong smell of cigarette smoke and sex. The bed looks slightly unmade and the bathroom light flickers. Shane turns to glare at you. "We could so be in a Hilton right now." He says, breathing out. He scrunches up his nose as he takes another whiff and you smile sadly at his antics.

His eyes soften as he looks at you, and tears start to well up in your eyes so you look away. He can see your depression. He can see your confusion. You softly close the door, trapping the two of you in this room. You look around as to not look at him, and notice there is only one bed. "This is crazy." You whisper under your breath, not even really meaning to say it out loud.

"What?" he asks, coming closer to you. You gulp, and start unbuckling your coat. What? You are fifteen and sleeping with an eighteen year old. You do not know why, but it's like it just hit you. Before, it was like a dream. It was a summer fling, as much as you argued with him not to be. Now it's not. Now it is serious. Now you are giving it all away for him. Is it worth it? Betraying your mother like this? Leaving everything behind?

"I don't know." You lie, trying to smile. He narrows his eyes at you, and tilts his head. His hair covers his eyes a bit, and you suck in your breath. God, he's so beautiful. He is everything you ever wished for. Everything you've ever dreamt of, literally. So why do you feel this way? Why the sudden change?

"I'm the master of fake smile and lies, Mitchie. I thought we were passed the ambiguity." He says sternly, reaching for you. His hands grip your hips roughly, and you drop your hands from the buttons of your coat. "Don't lie to me." He orders gently, coming close to your face. "Tell me how you feel." He tells you, rubbing your arms up and down.

You raise your head to look at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. "I was supposed to be twenty five. Me and my friend Sierra had planned it out. We would find guys and get married at twenty. Then, at twenty five, we would have a child." You confess, still looking at the ceiling. He bites his lip and grips your hips again.

"The naïve thinking of two school girls." He says, running his hand through your hair gently. You scoff hurtfully, and jerk away from his touch. You step away from him, and he glares at you.

"Jerk." You chide him. He rolls his eyes, and moves towards you. His hands go back around your waist. "I tell you how I feel, and you make fun of me." You say hurtfully, pushing his hands away.

He sighs. "You didn't tell me how you felt. You told me what was supposed to happen. Are you sad that you lost it? Or you happy because now it doesn't interfere with your plans?" he asks, fighting for words. You finally look at him, eyes flashing with anger.

"How can someone be happy they had a miscarriage?" you say, your voice raised. Suddenly, you remember why you didn't want to look at him. His eyes penetrate your soul, and you immediately look away. He sighs and puts a hand under your chin. You fight with him, stubbornly not turning your head.

"Look at me, Mitchie." He orders, his tone harsh.

"Oh, don't act like a fucking celebrity with me, Shane!" you snap at him, still glaring at the chair beside you. He scoffs angrily. For a second, you think he will press up against you or something. Instead, he leaves you. You are immediately hit with the cheap cold air conditioner and you gasp. He strides across the room, taking off his jacket, before taking off his shirt, throwing them on the bed.

Your eyes trace his muscles on his body to his stomach. "I'm…" you choke out, and he freezes. He doesn't look at you, but continues to look at the bed. "I'm so… hurt and I don't know why." You confess softly, sliding down the door. You hug your legs tightly, burying your head in your knees. He stays quiet and instead of going to you like you wished, he goes to the bathroom. You close your eyes and let some tears fall, as you hear the shower turn on.

He turns off the flickering light in the bathroom and comes back out. You give him a confused look, as you hear the water hit the bottom of the bath loudly. He comes over to you and goes on his knees. His hands push your coat away, and you hesitantly take it off yourself. When you do, he immediately pulls your shirt off, your hair going all over the place. He stands back up and holds out a hand to pull you up. You take it and let him guide you to the bathroom.

He closes the door after you come in, and turns back to you. He unbuttons your pants and you move your hips so that they fall to the ground. Shane kisses your shoulder, before undoing your bra. You pull on his pants, before unbuckling them. He quickly takes them off, along with his boxers. When the two of you are totally naked, he pulls you in the shower in complete darkness.

You try to squint to see him, but you can only see his outline. Suddenly, the burning hot water hits your back and you gasp loudly. Shane sighs as the water hits him also, and he pulls you close to him. Your bodies press up against each other as the water goes into your eyes. Your bangs grow heavy and stuck to your face. He brings himself closer to you, and your lips brush against each other.

The fact that you can barely see each other opens something up inside of you. You feel like screaming, but you don't. Confidence grows inside you, until the words blurt out of your mouth. "Why did you try to commit suicide?" you ask, and he tenses. He breathes out hard against your mouth.

"You know how you feel right now? Hurt and you don't even know why? That's how I felt." He tells you, as he grips your hips roughly. "Except, I didn't have anyone to go to. I didn't have anyone to help me." He says, rubbing your sides. His hands slip down to your lower hips, and the confidence still soars inside you.

"Norah? Wasn't she your girlfriend?" you say, remembering the million articles that littered your room. He laughs sardonically.

"Oh, that bitch." He says, as his hands massage your upper thigh gently. Tantalizingly. "When I met her, my manager introduced her to me as my girlfriend. I hate that. I hate that I've become another poster boy that does everything the label tells him to do. So, I rebelled. I treated her horribly to the point that she had to break up with me. I don't really know if I could go to her actually." He tells you as you close your eyes, breathing hard. He softly moves his hand around your inner thigh. "I never actually paid any attention to her." He says slowly.

"She looked cool. She's one of my favorite artists, even after you started dating her. Most of my friends despised her after you were seen with here. She writes all her songs too." You add breathily, as you lean against the shower wall. The hot water trickles down your front as he soothingly kneads your inner thigh. You can hear him groan.

"Don't remind me. She'll probably write a song about me to get publicity." He mutters, leaning against you, so that your bodies press up again. You shiver and jump when his fingers flicker your sex lightly. He smirks against your skin as he puts his head on your shoulder.

"I don't wanna have sex." You blurt out and he turns to you. You bite you lip, resisting the urge to smack your head. "Sorry. I didn't mean that. We can have sex." You fake a smile, even though he cannot see you.

"No. it's okay. We shouldn't anyways." He tells you, and his hands go away from your lower body. You groan as the confusion kills you. You don't want him, yet you do. Maybe, you just want to feel loved. You put your hand on his neck, and pull him close. You kiss him briefly before pulling away. "I love you."

You resist the urge to gasp. Your eyes widen, and you bite your lip. "I love you too, Shane."


	8. Chapter 8

"**Something has to change. Things cannot stay the same" Goodnight, Goodnight – Maroon 5**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 8

"We don't have any clothes." You tell Shane, biting your lip. He looks at you with clouded eyes, still getting used to the bright light after the dark shower, and shrugs. He comes over to you, and wraps his arms around your toweled covered waist. You move in closer and put your head on his wet chest. "What are we gonna do?" you ask, kicking your dirty clothes around.

Shane bites the inside of his lip. "We'll go buy some." He tells you, shrugging softly. He softly squeezes your waist and you wince, immediately pushing his hands away. He looks at you alarmed. "You okay?" he asks, and you nod, wet hair going in front of your eyes.

"We have rough sex, Shane." You remind him and he looks away. "Where are we gonna buy clothes?" you ask, wringing your wet hair before closing your eyes. "I don't have any money." You tell him, wrapping your arms around your body. He shrugs as he lets his towel fall to the floor and you are met with his naked body. Your eyes immediately trace his body, from his hard chest to his muscular legs to what's between them. You hear him smirk, but you can tell it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Like what you see?" he says, his eyebrows raised. You roll your eyes and lean against the wall, still looking at his naked body.

"I love you." you tell him for the millionth time since you got out of the shower. He gives you a sad smile, tilting his head. His black hair covers his eyes momentarily and you are reminded of how beautiful he truly is.

"I love you too, Mitchie." He tells you, and you smile. It's the first smile you have given anyone since what happened, but it is genuine. He comes back to you, picking up the boxers and jeans at your feet. He quickly puts on his boxers, and throws the jeans on the chair. You bite your lip when he comes back to you. He softly pulls your towel down, and he is hit with the sight of your body. You are too tired to even try to cover yourself so you let him dry you. He slowly and gently brushes the towel around your thighs, careful at the bruises there. He bites his lip again when he dries your discolored hips. "You should tell me that I'm hurting you. I think I don't know my own strength." He says, rubbing the bruises softly.

You shrug, closing your eyes at the stinging pain. "Whatever. The pain reminds me I'm alive. Plus, I left some deep ass scratches in your back, so we're even." You try to smile, but Shane frowns. He is not fazed by your fakeness, and he glares at you. You can see what he is trying to say with his eyes, but you still look away. He gradually dries your whole body, standing up to brush your breasts and stomach.

You kiss his neck softly, and he hugs you. "Don't fall in a depression, baby. I mean, you have Shane Grey, the greatest teen star ever." He adds with same fake smirk he had before. You roll your eyes, and shake your head. He kisses your cheek, before going to your ear, biting down. You gasp at the slight pain, slight pleasure he gives you, as his hands rub your stomach back and forth. "Maybe it was for the best." He whispers, his voice barely audible.

You freeze. "I'm sorry?" you say, your eyes snapping up. He bites his lip roughly, before sighing.

"I do believe in God. You know that right?" you give him a strange look, and he gives you a pointed one. You sigh and nod, then shrug. "Well, I do. This promise," he continues, as he softly fingers the ring around your neck. "Was real. And I broke that promise, but I'm okay with that. I love you and that's what matters. Yet, maybe this, the miscarriage, was God's way of telling us we need to calm down. We need to slow down. I need to slow down, Mitch. I can't handle this life anymore." He says, suddenly pulling at his hair. "It's like the same old story over and over again." he finishes frustratedly.

You just stare at him, not knowing what to say. He looks back at you, and you are met with sad eyes. You wrap your arms around your naked waist. "I know." You say, clearing your throat roughly. He stays still for a second, before shaking his head. He sighs deeply and looks back at you, determination in his eyes. He grabs you so that you fall into him.

"I want you to smile again. You have an amazing smile, baby." He tells you, and you roll your eyes. He glares at you, so you put on an obviously fake grin. He nudges you and you sigh. He closes his eyes disappointedly, and reaches for your dirty clothes. You quickly take your shirt and put it on, thankful it is a baby-doll shirt that reaches just past your mid thigh. He doesn't let you put any panties, but grabs your hand tightly in his callous one.

He guides you to the small bed and pulls back the cover. You climb in as he goes to the other side. You inhale the cigarette smoke the pillow has and cough, making Shane smirk. "Dude, we could so be in a Hilton right now. But you decided to be all normal. Your own fault." You frown at his mocking, and he gives you a sad smile. You know he's trying hard to lighten the mood, and you are not helping at all.

You sigh and run your hand through his black hair. "Aren't you supposed to be the depressed one? This sucks." He bites his lip, and chuckles softly. He comes to you and kisses you on your lips briefly, before wrapping his arms around you. You fall into his chest and kiss his neck softly. "Have we ever gone to bed and not had sex?" you ask after a while. You feel him smirk against your skin.

"I don't think so." He says, pulling your shirt slowly off your body. You moan confused when he slips it off your head, your wet hair going everywhere. He throws the shirt to the side, and reaches over the bed to grab something, while still rubbing your hip with one hand.

"And apparently we're not gonna start?" you say, your eyes narrowing. "I thought we decided we were not gonna have sex tonight." You say accusingly, but don't stop his hands from rubbing your hips softly. You see finally see what he was trying to get. His shirt.

He shakes his head. "We're not gonna. My boxers will stay on." he tells you, but his hands still drop to your legs, as he wraps his hand around your thigh. You shiver as he rubs it up and down, getting closer and closer to your sex. "Wear my shirt to bed, hmm?" he says, as his hands leave your legs to help you put it on. You smile for the second time in days, and let him put it on your body. You feel the fabric fall on to your skin nicely, and he pulls you back to him, turning off the lights.

You bury your head in the cigarette-infested pillow and fall asleep after a while. When you wake up, it is two in the afternoon. You groan and fall back into Shane, ironically still tired. "Hey, Mitchie." He whispers, his eyes glued to the tv screen. A random movie about sex-crazed teens is showing, and you cannot help but to roll your eyes and shake your head. "Don't knock it." He says, pouting slightly, and you laugh. "Bitch." He mutters, glaring at the screen. You gasp, but are too lazy to look up at him.

"Jerk." You say frowning, as he brings you closer to his body. He wraps his arms around your waist, kissing your hair softly. He kisses your cheek teasingly, before going to your ear.

"Whore." He whispers. You freeze. You know he meant it as a joke, but it felt like a knife. You struggle to smile, and elbow him, trying to be playful for his sake. He laughs slightly as he pulls you to him again, not catching on to your sadness.

"Jackass." You say, your head still buried in his chest. He gently kisses your head, smiling softly as he slowly starts to go down your neck. He nuzzles your skin tenderly. "I hate you." you moan, as he starts to kiss your neck, sucking enough to make a mark. You moan again and lean into him, cursing inwardly at yourself for the power he has over you.

"Sure you do." He says mockingly as his hands start to push up his shirt that adorns your body. He gently rubs your lower stomach, getting closer and closer to your sex. You close your eyes and let him touch you, as he continues to kiss your neck and collarbone. Suddenly, his fingers dip under your underwear and he's touching you in your most private area. You moan again as you shut your eyes tighter.

You let out a small sigh as he starts to work you up. He knows what he's doing. He knows you well enough to know how to get you to scream.

"_Whore."_

You hear his voice say again in your mind. You hear it over and over again as he continues to rub your clitoris. You are a whore. With every touch, disgust grows inside of you and your self esteem plummets to the ground. You hate this. You don't want this anymore. You don't want him anymore.

You gasp out loud and he smirks against your neck, as he finds your sensitive spot. He pulls down your underwear swiftly with his free hand, and pulls you to him. You can feel his hardness push up against your lower back through his boxers until he takes those off also.

"_Whore."_

He kisses your neck again, and he tries to roll you over so you're under him. You resist and don't let him face you, but rather get in position so that you are facing the pillow and your ass is in the air. He is back to rubbing your clit, before entering you.

You gasp again as he starts to fill you up. You bite down from the pressure of his member as he invades your most sacred area. His hands grip your hips, but not as roughly as he used to. He knows you are hurting; plus, he can see the bruises. His hands run up and down your slim body, as he starts to move inside you. You let out another moan as he hits a sensitive area inside you. Stars explode in front of your eyes as pleasure whelms up.

"_Whore."_

You feel like crying. You feel like screaming. You feel hurt and confused. His hands grip your stomach suddenly, and he pulls you up so that your bodies are pushed up together. He slowly starts to rub your clit as you lean back against him. "God, you're so beautiful." He whispers in your ear as he thrusts in you. You resist the urge to cry again, and squeeze your hands into a fist. He kisses the back of your neck as he slides his fingers through yours. "I love you." he says as he continues to move inside you.

The rest of the afternoon is a blur. When the two of you are done having sex, he goes out to get food, leaving you alone and naked. "_Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me."_ You sing softly under your breath. Why the sudden change of heart? Because it hurts.

It fucking hurts.

Your insides are screaming out. You can't do this anymore. The pain is too much, and suddenly, you're crying hysterically by yourself. You're screaming into a dirty pillow as your hands dig into your skull. How did it get this way? How could you have gotten pregnant? Better yet, how could you have lost it?

The tears continue to fall down your face until you can't cry any longer. "I love you." he keep saying it now. If he would have just said before you had the miscarriage, then maybe you wouldn't feel so horrible. Before, you thought you were in love with him, and hell, you probably are. Before, you didn't understand the consequence. But now, you do. Now, you're not too sure you're ready to be in love.

God, what the fuck were you thinking being with an older guy? He wants to run away together. He wants to start together. He wants to what? Settle down? You're fifteen. You're not even sixteen years old. You fifteen fucking year old! You're not ready for this. You're not ready to give all away.

You get up and get your phone, turning it on. You dial the one number you know by heart, besides Shane's. "Hello. Mitchie?" the voice is frantic as it reaches your ears, and you feel guilty immediately.

"Mommy?" you say, your voice breaking from all the crying. You hear your mother sigh in relief. You close your eyes, knowing you broke your mother's heart last night and nothing will ever change that ever again.

"Mitchie, baby. Where are you? Tell me. We can talk, okay? I just want to talk." She pleads as you hear her sniff from crying. Another stab at your heart makes you fall onto the bed again. Guilt is eating you up as you hear her try to compose herself.

"_Whore."_

"I'm at a motel just right off exit 50. Days Inn. Can you pick me up as soon as possible?" you ask, and your heart breaks with every word as you open the drawer next to the bed again. You are crying harshly as she gasps.

"Are you oaky? Did something happen? Did _that boy_ do something to you?" she says frenetically, judgment clear in her voice as you hear a door slam over the line. Anger fires through you, and the old you shines through for a moment.

"_That boy_ loves me! He is wonderful and considerate and he loves me!" you are yelling, crying hard as guilt continues to eat you away. You hear her sigh in pain and you break down. "I'm the one who's not good enough." You whisper as you shut the phone, throwing it carelessly to the ground.

You pull out the notepad in the desk, knowing Shane would not be back for at least twenty minutes. They were literally in Nowhere Ville, and the closer restaurant must be far. She found a pen quickly as she looked at the notepad in front of her. Suddenly, it was like her hand had a life of its own. Tears blotted the ink as she wrote, but she didn't care anymore.

_Shane,_

_I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I thought running away would be the answer, but it isn't. I have a life and a family that loves me very much. I think I was so wrapped up in our little fantasy we had going on, that I thought we could last forever. Let's face it though. You're eighteen and I'm fifteen. You're a super star and I'm invisible. We can't keep deceiving ourselves that this will work. You used to say we were just a fling, and you were right._

_Let's just go back to our lives, okay? You go back to being Shane Grey and I'll go back to being Mitchie Torres. We'll be fine again, one day. I know it, but today, I just can't. it hurts too much. We went into this too blindly and we all got hurt. Sex is a bigger deal than we thought it was. It's not something to just give away a week after you meet someone. That is our problem. We know nothing about each other, yet we know everything. We should have gotten to know each other first. We should have talked about favorite colors and foods and songs. We shouldn't have had sex._

_But we did, and well, it's not like I can change the past. You will always have a piece of me. I will always belong to you, Shane. No one will have me like you. I don't think anyone will have me ever again. maybe one day, we will find each other again, you know? Now is just not the time. I'm sorry. I know this must be killing you, but I can't continue this any longer. I can't put on a fake smile, and call it a day. It hurts too much._

_I lost a child. I lost your child. That wasn't fair. Not to me or you, but definitely not to the baby. What if we would have really gotten pregnant? It would have ruined your rep and mine, and worst, we would be in charge of a life. We're not ready for that. I'm not ready for that. _

_I'm sorry. I know you trusted me and I know I'm letting you down and I'm sorry. I will always love you. I will always think of you. Even when you've long forgotten…_

_Love, Mitchie_

It was barely legible when it came down to it, but it will do. You shakily unclasp the necklace around your neck and take off the heavy ring that was currently adorning it. You put it down on the page to weigh it down and to get Shane's attention. The cross on the ring is staring you in the face with a terrifying reality, until your phone rings again. It's your mom.

"Yeah?" you say, your voice cracking.

"I'm outside. What hotel room are you in?" your mother says, and you get off the bed. You bite your lip and gulp.

"I'll be right out." You say, not bothering to answer her as you snap shut the phone. You get up off the bed and start to put on your clothes, before taking one last look in the room. How could one night create so many memories? You look to the flickering light in the bathroom and shut it off.

He told you he loved you in the shower. He told you about his life. He let you in.

You close your eyes and go out the door, looking around for your mother in the harsh light. You immediately catch the large catering van and run to it, jumping inside as soon as you can. Your mother looks startled and you can tell she wants to hug you or talk. "Please." You voice breaks again. "Just drive. I wanna go home." You tell her, and her eyes soften. She starts the car up and again, and suddenly, you're on the highway.

Suddenly, you're driving away. Suddenly, he's gone.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	9. Chapter 9

"**If home is where the heart is, then we're all just fucked." 27 – Fall Out Boy**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 9

It is two months later and you gulp as you stare in the mirror. Your eyes are almost sullen, or at least have deep purple rings under them. You have lost so much weight, it is unbelievable. You are paler, if that is even possible. You are a complete mess. You sigh and look away, digging your nails into your wrist sharply. The tv is loud in the background and you look back to the screen distractedly.

"No, we're single. Always dating, but still single." The youngest member of the band says, and you realize that on camera, he is the softest spoken person; however, you still remember the horrible day at the hospital when he yelled at _him. _

"So, nothing is going on between you and Alexis Texas?" the interviewer asks, even though he already knows Nate's answer. Even though, everyone already knows Nate's answer. It's the same one he has given in the past ten interviews.

"No, sir. She's a great girl, but we're just friends." The rehearsed answer comes out. Nate gives a nice smile, and the interviewer shakes her head knowingly, her lips pursed.

"Yeah, she's so hyper!" Jason yells happily and everyone but _him_ looks at Jason weirdly for a second. The questions to Nate continue rapidly about Alexis, while Jason intercedes occasionally with excited comments. Anyone can tell that this interview is all about Nate. Jason is a bad bonus and _he_ is ignored. Except by you. You stare at the last boy, knowing that millions of others have their eyes glued to _him _even though Nate is talking_. _

Every girl across the country, or even world, is wondering why _he _is so depressed. He is obviously angry and hurt, and everyone wants to fix it. You also stare at the haunted boy intensely, as he shifts in his seat and glares at the woman. He does not want to be there; it is so obvious to everyone. He's tired of being a poster boy and he wants out. Anyone can tell, but you know you are the only person that can really tell. You're the only the one who really knows him, and right now, you know for sure he is gone.

His eyes are so cold and empty.

"So, Shane…" the woman coughs uncomfortably, as she bites her lip. _He_ looks at her with a withering glare that makes her gulp softly. "You are the writer of the group, right?" she asks, trying to put on a bright smile on. Jason bites his lip and Nate glares at _him._

_He_ just looks at her and does not answer. Nate immediately jumps in. "Yeah, he's written most of the songs on the new album." The woman nods to Nate, and looks down to her papers.

"Well, the writing has been superb. Is "Can't Have You" or "One Day at a Time" about anyone in particular?" she asks innocently, trying to smile to him, but he turns his empty eyes to her and narrows them.

"Yeah, some whor-" _he_ starts, before Nate cuts him off with a response laced with a fake smile. You do not even listen to what Nate says or pay attention to Jason; all you can do is stare at his vacant eyes and cry. You know what he was going to say. He was going to tell the truth, in a way. As Nate talks and tries to save the interview, all _he_ does is glare at the woman.

When the interview is finished, you turn off the tv in a daze. Your body moves to the computer numbly, as you go on the million of gossip site you already have loaded. You wish that you were not this crazy about him, but you are. You see his face plastered among the various sites, as each mocks the celebrity and his increasingly horrible ways.

"_Who is this girl?"_ one headline reads.

_Who the fuck is this girl who has Shane Grey is such a freakin' loop? Ever since the end of July, since Shane was kicked out for sleeping around at Camp Rock by own uncle (presumably with this girl), he is completely deteriorating his (and Nate's and Jason's) career. Wasn't this kid like the poster boy for virgins? What happened to that? Does he not realize that millions of girls now hate him for going back in his word? I mean, at least wear the fucking purity ring, even if you did lose it!_

_So what if some girl fucked you up completely? Move on. She probably has. She probably already has a million friends she can brag to that she took the Connect 3's frontman's virginity (if she did) and has a guy who wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than Shane Grey the Horrible! MOVE ON! _

_At least, the boy is not keeping this heartbreak locked up inside him! His songs have been amazing lately, but still… his actions are deplorable. Knocking over a five year old cuz she asks for a photograph? Cursing out the paparazzi just because they take pictures of you? Almost punching out some guy? I mean, chill dude. _

_And whoever this girl is, hide chica! Cuz, I'm pretty sure a million of angry, depressed, and disappointed girls want to fucking KILL you with a long ass knife. Who is this girl, goddamn it! I want to know (and so does everyone else!)_

Another reads, "_So Much for Waiting…"_

_Shane Grey, lead singer and head writer of Connect 3, has stop wearing a HUGE part of what is Connect 3. No, it is not a guitar. It's a ring. A purity ring. The so called role model has advocated staying pure for years. It was the one thing that moms liked, even with his jerky attitude. Well, it's gone. Every time the missing ring has been asked about in interviews, anger has definitely flashed in his eyes. Apparently, the girl is not a very good memory for him, because in more than one occasion he has called her a "whore", "slut", "bitch", and "ho". _

_Many people have speculated as to who this girl actually is, but it remains a mystery. Shane will not mention her name, and neither will Nate or Jason. Many people, especially young girls, want to know who this girl actually is. Oh the stupidity of this generation… who cares who he sleeps with? He's a musician, isn't he? Not a monk. _

"Honey?" you snap out of the daze, and see your mother stand by the door. She is looking at you sadly, and you noticed you are crying. She looks at you, as her eyes fill with tears and she puts on a fake smile you can see right through. "Hey, happy birthday. Sixteen, finally, huh?" you nod and look at her numbly. She tries to smile again, and comes closer to you. "Maybe you should stop looking at those sites, Mitchie. They just make you sad." The older woman advised.

You blink back anger, and do not answer her. She sighs and nods, before taking out a few pills from a bottle. "Here, hon. You have water?" your mother asks, giving you a forced smile. You nod, still not looking at her. You take the pills and hold them in your hand. Your mother looks at you expectantly and you raise an eyebrow, begging her to voice her disbelief. She doesn't believe you will take them, but she doesn't want to show it. So, instead, she smiles, before leaving the room.

As soon as she does, you put the pills on the counter, knowing you have to take them anyways. They are blood thinners for the blood clots that formed by the birth control you were taking. The doctors explained to you that the Pill almost killed you. You sigh, and take the pills, swallowing them bitterly. There are also some other pills your doctor prescribed you that you took numbly. You hardly care anymore. You don't want to care.

You look back to the computer, looking at his picture. He hasn't cut his hair in a while, but by no means does that mean it is unkempt. Along with the empty look in his eyes, he looks positively dangerous and sexy. The sex appeal dripping from him recently has made many girls bite their lips with desire. In the picture, he is wearing his patent tight pants with a black shirt. He looks absolutely amazing, and images go straight to your head.

The memories make you blush slightly, your whole body warming suddenly. You close your thighs harshly as your fingers slip from your neck down your front. You softly graze your own breasts, before wrapping your arms tightly around your waist. You finger your jean waistband as you bite your lip, and your hand goes down your to your covered inner thigh. With every touch, you are reminded of a time when he touched you there. You are reminded of a scream and a gasp.

Your breathing is coming out hard, and when you look in the mirror, you notice you are flushed. It is the first time you have allowed yourself to relive the memories that forcefully came to you. You have not thought of sex in two months, nor have you done anything remotely pleasing to yourself. You have locked yourself in your room and just cried. But, today, you need a release. Today, you need a reminder of a time when he loved you.

You remember the way his eyes glared at you and Barron as you danced back at Camp Rock. He was the one who assigned the two of you together, yet his eyes flared angrily when Barron's hands went down your side. You remember giving the older boy a look when no one else was paying attention, before giving your attention back to Barron. He gave you a small shy smile, an innocent smile. When he held your waist, he did it because he was meant to. He did not want you that way, because he was not ready to have you that way. Most fifteen year old boys, even with their bravado, aren't ready for sex.

Actually, fifteen year old girls aren't either.

You remember, as Tess and Sander moved flawlessly, you and Barron struggled with your clumsiness and _his_ persistent stare. Barron was getting obviously annoyed with the teacher's constant watch and ridicule. He wanted to know why Shane was paying _so_ much attention to you two.

"No, it's to the left." He would criticize, looking straight at you with penetrating eyes. Barron groaned, and pushed you to _him_. Your eyes widened as you momentarily trip on your own feet and go flying towards your teacher.

"Fine, show me how, because I obviously don't know, Shane." Barron said frustratedly, as you gasped. You fell straight into his strong arms, your heart beating loudly. You could feel his muscular chest push against your back, and suddenly Barron took a step back. You wondered why and looked at Shane, noticing his intense glare he was giving. Shane's hands went to your waist, and gripped them. He twirled you around, surprising you, but you managed not to kill yourself by falling down.

His eyes were penetrating as they locked with you, and you could feel your blood run cold. A shiver went up your spine, and you sincerely hoped Barron thought it was just because it was Shane Grey, the superstar, touching you. Shane nodded at you expectantly and you remembered you had to put your arms around his neck. You bit your lip with nervousness as he pushed you close to him, and suddenly, you were dancing to a hip hop routine.

You were still entirely too clumsy, but then, you also had to compete with the rising desire growing inside you. You could hardly dance, but you tried your hardest as your bodies pressed up against each other. A deep blush came up to your cheeks as you started moving against each other, many of the girls looking at you two furiously jealous. Suddenly, Shane's cheeks also turned red and you knew you had to get away from him, unless you wanted him to get hard in the middle of class.

He let go of you and handed you back to shocked and slightly confused Barron wordlessly. You awkwardly went back to him, shaking horrible as you try to dance with Barron again. At the end of class, you moved slowly, brushing Caitlyn off when she invited you to her cabin. You turned back to Shane, eyes so dark you feel like you're gonna burn a hole through him.

The way he touched you that day made you scream.

You grip the computer desk harshly, trying to snap out of it. "No, Mitchie." You scold yourself. You just realize that you are breathing way too hard and your legs are closed tightly. "Oh, Shane." You moan, putting your head down roughly. You feel the tears rush up to your eyes as the memory stabs at your heart again and again. You breathe out loudly, before grabbing a rosary that was thrown lazily on the desk. You hold it tightly in your hands.

"Oh, God. Please help me." You pray, your eyes closing. "Help me get pass this." You choke out as the tears fall. Your heart is breaking again. "No! No. Don't do this Mitchie! You're fine." You tell yourself fiercely, as you wipe the tears away stubbornly. You swallow harshly and refresh the page on Shane, your eyes already looking all over the page for any mention for him.

Nothing.

You breathe out again slowly, trying to calm yourself down as you wipe your eyes again. Your hand unconsciously goes to the picture of Shane on the screen, tracing his body. He was so beautiful, with his dark shiny hair and dangerous eyes. His body looked hard and rough, and you immediately remember the feeling of his body over yours. You close your eyes, before looking at his face again. He's so angry, so hurt.

You did this to him.

You hurt him. You made him cry. You numbly reach for your phone as your heart plummets down. Your heart bleeds every time you think back to the five voicemails he left you in the last two months. The first time he called you it was ten minutes after you left. You saw his name light up on your phone, but you turned off the phone immediately, crying hard as you did.

Later on, you listened to the voicemail. His voice was hysterical and frantic. _"Mitchie, don't do this! I love you, c'mon. I know you love me too. Come back. We'll think of a way to fix this. I know you're hurting, but we won't get anywhere apart. Mitchie, please._" He begged. You never heard him plead so much, especially so vulnerably. The following message was practically the same, and was sent an hour later. _"Mitchie, c'mon, baby. Come back to me. We'll work this out."_ It was short, but it still made you cry hysterically.

He called all the time, but he only left message sometimes. The next voicemail was not so nice.

It was two days later when he left his next message._"I fucking hate you, you know that? How the fuck could you do that to me? You know the shit I'm going through, and it's like you don't even care. You're such a bitch, Mitchie. I love you. I honestly love you. What the fuck is wrong with you? How the fuck could you? I told you things no one knew. For what? So, you can tell People or Pop Informer Magazine? I fucking love you, you fucking bitch! You're gonna go to hell you know that!"_ you almost committed suicide after that phone call. Your mother sent you to the doctor soon afterwards.

Three weeks later, he left you another. You didn't even notice that he called, so when you heard the message, you almost had a heart attack. His silky voice came through, this time with no pain or exposure. His voice was sexy and charming. _"Hey, Mitchie. Just wanted to call you and say I was making out with this one girl. She was so fucking hot, you know that? She had such long legs and her breast look nice and firm and she looked so tight." _he bragged, almost laughing before his voice turned bitter._ "Don't worry. I didn't sleep with her. See, I learned my lesson not to mess with whores." _You didn't eat that week.

You know he was just angry. You let him down, so now he was taking it out on you. But, you knew he still cared for you, because he never stopped calling. Not once.

Usually, after that, he just called, usually hanging up within the first couple rings. Then one night, a month and a couple weeks after you left him, he called again at three in the morning. Expecting him to end the call before you could even wonder whether to pick it up, you froze and waited for the ringing to stop.

It didn't.

Your hand reached for the cell, but it felt like a million pounds. You wanted to pick it up; you wanted to hear his voice again. You need to hear him say your name again, hopefully without a curse word following it. But, you didn't pick up, and five minutes later, your cell announced to you that you had a new voicemail. Your hands shook when you reached for the phone again, opening it with a heavy heart.

"_Mitchie." _You gasped at his soft voice. He sounded so tired and hurt. _"It's Shane. I..."_ he trailed off, and you could hear him gulp harshly over the line. _"I really don't know why I'm calling. I guess my instincts are telling me to forget you because you've obviously moved on, but I refuse to believe that. I love you."_ he whispered in the phone, his vulnerability coming through. You felt like screaming, but you didn't want to wake up your mother. _"And I think you still love me. Call me, Mitch. I promise to hear you out. I promise to forgive you. I know you were going through something, but you can't hide forever. Call me, please. Tell me where you live and I can go over your house or something. I can visit you or you can come out to see me. Please, Mitch. I love you. I know my last messages I have been a complete asshole, but it just… hurts so much. Please, Mitchie. I need you."_ he whispered again, and the line went dead.

You threw the phone off the bed, as your nails dug into your palms. The next day, you stayed in bed the whole day crying hysterically, to the point where your mother started crying and called the doctor. You never thought this would be you – the girl nursing such heartache, she was practically comatose.

You wanted to call him so bad, and you almost did about fifty times. But, every time, you would slam the phone shut before a proper ring could go through. You know he noticed it. He would call you back within seconds, no matter what time it was. He was waiting for you, and you're letting him down even more every day.

A week later, you started school again, and slowly the pain started to disappear. Not disappear really. More like, numb itself. Your mother thinks you're wasting away. You can see in her eyes that even she wishes you with Shane. You never knew how much you need him, until you didn't have him in your arms.

"Honey, let's go out. I got you something." Your mother's voice broke through your thoughts. You looked up and saw the wrapped present and her fake smile. You nod, because you know she wants you to. You nod, because you're tired of hurting her all the time. You nod, because she deserves better.

You numbly get dress and you numbly go to dinner and you numbly eat small bites and you numbly celebrate your sixteen birthday and you numbly go back home.

As soon as you step back inside, you go back to the computer. You refresh the gossip sites and notice nothing new. You breathe out disappointedly, before catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror again. Who the hell are you? What have you become? Why are you feeling this way?

You thought it was for the best to leave, and for a while, it was. You had to get away and find yourself again by yourself. You needed to talk about the miscarriage and the pain with someone. But now, you need him again, except you don't know how to get back to him. Obviously, with the interview this morning, he has gone back to hating you. You don't blame him really.

Your cell phone rings, and your heart stops. You immediately reach for it, and a mix of disappointment and relief goes through you. "Hey, Caitlyn." You say, gulping down the bile coming up your throat.

"Hey!" she sounded surprised you picked up. "I call to say happy birthday." She said, her voice cheerful but cautious. You don't blame her either. You did leave halfway through the camp, just as the celebrity counselor disappear. Plus, she knew.

You clear your throat roughly. "Thanks. Listen, Caitlyn. I can't talk right now." You tell her, and hang up before she can say anything. You don't want to talk about it anymore, and you know she will try to get you to talk. You refresh the page again, and nothing.

Ten minutes later, the phone rings again. Your heart stopped again, but it was just your grandmother. The conversation went similar to Caitlyn's. Then, Sierra called. You talked longer with her. You were still friends with her at least. "So, did you do algebra?" she asked absentmindedly.

"Yeah, last period." You answered, knowing she doesn't really care. That's what you love about her. She doesn't know about anything. You are still unexcitable, strange Mitchie Torres to her with no life. To her, you have nothing to tell her, so she doesn't really pay attention. Sure, she knows you're depressed, but she doesn't know why.

"Hey, hold on, my battery's dying. I'll call you right back." She said, groaning at her cell. You force a laugh, and agreed. You set down the phone, and refresh the page. Nothing. You bite your lip in frustration, and go to another cite. Nothing. Everything's about Nate and Alexis Texas right now.

"C'mon, Shane, give me something." You whisper, burying your head in your hands aggregately. The phone rang again, and you picked it up without looking at the caller ID. You realize your mistake the moment you do it, and freeze completely.

"Mitchie?" came the voice over the line, and you blink. You breathe out, and again you are hit with that strong mix of disappointment and relief.

"Um, yes? Who is this?" you ask, not recognizing the person. You absentmindedly refresh the page. Nothing.

"It's Nate, Mitchie." You freeze again at two things. First, because it's Nate. Second, because even though he's said three words, you can tell something's wrong. He seems to be crying. "Something happened." He said choking on his words, confirming your fears.

"What?" you ask softly, almost dropping the phone. Your eyes widen and you breathing increases.

"It's Shane." He cries out almost inaudibly. You squeeze your hands into a fist, involuntarily clicking the mouse to refresh the page again. There was a new post. As you read the headline, you really do drop the phone. It hits the floor with a harsh smash, as your blood goes cold.

"_Teen Idol, Shane Grey of the band Connect 3, rushed to the hospital."_

_The popstar was supposedly found completely unconscious by his band mates in an apparent attempted suicide. Not much is known about it, except the commotion that stirred at the Malibu Hilton where the brothers were staying at. Our prayers and thoughts are with Shane and all his family and friends._

**XXX**

**Sandra © **


	10. Chapter 10

"**Truth be told – I miss you. Truth be told – I'm lying." Gives You Hell – The All-American Rejects**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 10

It doesn't take long for shock to quickly overtake you. Nate is still talking, saying your name with fear over and over, as you continue to stare at the screen. It's weird; it's like you're not even breathing. It's like your heart stopped. It's like the world stopped. Every noise, every sigh, every move is over, as goose bumps travel all over your body.

"_Teen Idol, Shane Grey of the band Connect 3, rushed to the hospital."_

Suddenly, something is almost stabbing you behind your eyes, and you numbly realize that it is tears. You can actually feel the tear roll down your face, as your vision starts to blur. You cannot see anything, and you can literally feel your heart breaking. You feel something sharp travel up your throat, as you step away from the computer, ignoring your phone. You breathe in harshly, as if you suddenly remember you need air, and stepped away from the room.

You walk out of your room in a daze, not hearing anything and not seeing anything. You take two steps before collapsing on the ground, your breath coming out rough and shaky. Your mind is working in overdrive as every moment and every touch comes to mind, only to be overtaken by pure guilt and remorse.

You left him.

You bury your head in your hands, blocking out any light at all. You just stare at the darkness you created, as your insides struggle to remain functioning. Denial comes quickly to you. _This isn't happening._ You tell yourself over and over, halfway rocking yourself back and forth in your hallway. _This cannot be happening._ You tremble and shake as you gasp for air, the tears killing you. Your nails dig deeply into your wrist, enough to draw blood.

You hardly notice.

You don't even realize you are breathing louder and louder as the time goes on. You don't even realize you are crying hysterically. The world around you stopped already, and nothing else matter. You hardly notice when your mother, father and your little brother come out, scared at the screaming. Your brother's eyes widen with genuine fear, as he watches you break down on the floor. Your father immediately guides him back to his room, as your mother rushes to you.

She pulls you into her arms, and holds you. You cry harshly against her chest, your nails still digging into your skin. _This is not happening._ "Sweetie, what happened?" she asks, her voice frantic as tears stream down her own face.

You can hardly answer her. You can barely speak at all. She keeps rubbing your shoulder over and over again, kissing your forehead. "He-he tri-tried…" you try to say, stuttering as the air chokes you. "Mom." You cough, as you continue to rock back and forth in her arms.

"It's okay, Mitchie. It's okay." She keeps repeating, her voice filled with emotions. "Shh." She comforts you, still rubbing your shoulder. "Why don't we go out again? Hmm? We can go to Grandma's and get away for a while. How's that, Mitch?" she suggests, her tone sympathetic.

You shake your head immediately. "I- I haveta go to…" you try to speak again, before swallowing harshly. "To Cali-California. I haveta go to California." You repeat, gulping again, as you taste the bile that is going up your throat. You notice her tense, and look up to see her surprised face.

"What's in California?" she asks, but you know she already knows who's there. You give her a pointed look, as you wrap your arms around your waist. "Mitchie, I don't think I can allow that." She whispers sadly, her lips pursing. Disbelief and anger explode inside you, as you look at her shocked and hurt. Tears run down her face as she shakes her head. "Mitchie, I won't allow you to see that boy again. You're not going." She says fiercely, going into 'mom-mode'.

You stare at her blankly, as anger rises within you. Your eyes turn hard and she flinches as you start to stand up. She immediately tries to help you up, but you roughly and disrespectfully rip out of her grasp. She gasps as she looks down to her scratched arm, noticing the blood on her horrified. You gulp again, not even realizing you pulled away from her so violently, and guilt mixes with your fury.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" she spits out, completely appalled and looks up at you in pure disbelief. You grit your teeth and glare at her, crossing your arms across your chest. "Go to your room, young lady. I don't care if you're feeling bad right now. You have no right to hurt me. I'm your mother." She yells at you, as she looks at you shocked. "I don't even know who the hell you are anymore." She says, shaking her head as she scoffs.

"You can't keep me here!" you scream, as surprise goes through you. The guilt you felt a second ago for scratching her multiplied inside of you, but anger won against. "I need to go to California! You don't even fucking understand!" you yell, as her eyebrows go up.

Suddenly, the two of you are screaming at each other at the same time. "Don't you dare curse or yell at me, Michelle. Go to your room right now!" and "He's fucking hurt, mom. He's so hurt and lost, and I can probably save him. Don't you understand?"

You scoff at her as her eyes widen and she freezes as you turn around, slamming the door in her face. Once you are alone in your room, you collapse on the floor again. Your dig your hands in your hair as you look around the room absentmindedly, before your eyes land on the rosary on your desk. You quickly stand up and go to it, gripping it hard in your hands. "God, why are you doing this? I swear, why couldn't it be me? I don't want him hurting anymore. Please, I'll do anything, just let me see him again." you pray as you try to bargain with God.

You break down as you plop down on your computer chair, still clutching the rosary harshly in your fingers. You can't even turn to see the computer screen anymore, and instead look to the floor, noticing the open cell phone you dropped. You pick it up, noticing Nate hung up and has called back three times. You go to his number, and press send shakily, as you bring your legs up on the seat as to wrap your arms around them.

"Mitchie!" he says as soon as he picks up. You wince at his frantic and hysterical tone, realizing that he already had to deal with Shane to have problems with you also. "Are you okay? Please, don't do that to me." He says, crying on the phone. You gulp guiltily, realizing that for all the bravado Nate puts, he is still just a fifteen year old boy.

"I'm sorry. I'm fine." You choke out, sounding anything but fine. You keep jiggling your feet as you talk, as you close your eyes tightly. You want it all to disappear. "I-I'll go." You stutter out, digging your fingers into your raw wrist. "But I don't ha-have any money." You confess, burying your head in your arms.

Why won't it disappear?

"I'll pay. Don't worry. When can you come? Where do you live? What airport?" Nate blurts out, going a million miles an hour as he continues to sob. You feel bad that he would pay, but at the same time, you know it's the only way. You need him to pay for you.

"I live in-in Jersey. Pick Ne-Newark, I guess. It's the easiest one for me to get to. I can…I can come tonight if you want." You say, as you numbly pick yourself off the chair, making sure to ignore the screen. You reach into your closet and pull out a duffle bag, already pulling out random clothes with you.

"You can? You're mom says it's okay?" he asks, obvious relief entering his voice. You freeze as you open your drawer softly, gulping again. "Cuz, I'm on the internet right now, and there is a flight at eleven tonight. You would have to leave right now." He says, his voice going too fast. You hardly understand everything he says.

"Ye-yeah, it's fine. I'll g-get a ride. How will- how will I get the boarding pass?" you ask, as you grab clothes roughly, hardly notice what you're getting. He sighs softly.

"Uh, I'll give you the credit card number, and you do it from your computer." He suggests, as you hear him fumble over the line. You bite your lip as you cross over to your bathroom. You purposely look away from the mirror, not wanting to see your withering state.

"Okay." You agree halfheartedly, as you take your toiletries quickly, and dump them in the duffle bag. You hesitantly make your way to the computer, swiftly exiting from the gossip site. _"Teen Idol, Shane Grey of the band Connect 3, rushed to the hospital." _You still manage to see it, and tears rush harder down your eyes.

Nate gives you his credit card number, and you numbly buy the ticket. For a while, the line is silent, except for both your and Nate's tears. "Is he-he okay?" you ask after a while, as depression swirls inside you. You feel like throwing yourself off the roof right now. Or at least, throwing up.

You thought you were hurting before, but it's nothing to how you're feeling now. You want to kill yourself because of the guilt. How could he do something like that? Was he just trying to get your attention? Well, he definitely got it now.

"I don't know. He's in this Medical Center, and they won't let him leave until they evaluate him or something. I've never seen him so scared, Mitchie." He confesses, breathing out roughly. You shiver. You knew that Shane and Nate were brothers, but you also knew they didn't always get along. Yet, here Nate was, sounding like he just lost a hero.

"It's okay, Nate." You say, because you feel you have to. It's your fault, after all. If only you would have stayed with Shane, then none of this would have happened.

Right?

"Yeah." He says unconvincingly. You guys say a few words more, before hanging up once you print out the tickets. You quickly call a taxi company, telling them to pick you up a block away from your house. Then, you open your window and climb out, barely looking back to your now old life. How many times can you look back at your life and say this is where it all changed? Your life will literally never be the same after this, but you don't even care.

You climb down the roof carefully, before hitting the ground, already running towards the block you told the taxi to pick you up. The duffle bag keeps hitting your back as you run, but you don't care. You just don't care. You just want to see him again. You just want to fix everything. You just want everything to be fixed.

You breathe out shakily as you get to the block, waiting for the taxi. When he finally comes, you dive into the cab, telling him to go to Newark International Airport as fast as he could. The cabbie looks at you concerned as he notices you disheveled look along with your tearstained face, before driving. You sigh in relief, before it gets caught in your chest.

You're running away from home.

_Holy Shit_, you think as you dig your hands through your hair. You look at the time. 8:45. You have fifteen minutes to get to Newark, even though you're sure the duffle bag you have is small enough to count as a hand bag. You doubt you need the two hours that the airport requires you to get there. You close your eyes, trying to rid your head of any thoughts. You don't want to think anymore. If you, it will kill you.

The rest of the night goes in a blur, much like the whole day. You arrive and pay the cabbie the only money you have, before going to the gate the boarding pass tells you to go. You numbly go through the whole process, barely realizing anything. Before you even know it, you are seated in the airplane, ready to go.

It's a six hour flight from New Jersey to Malibu, and you're dreading it. You don't want silence, but you know that's what you're gonna get. It's a flight at night, so passengers are told to be quiet. You don't want quiet. You need action, to get everything off your mind. You close your eyes, trying to block out all the noise in your head.

"_Teen Idol, Shane Grey of the band Connect 3, rushed to the hospital."_

"_I've never seen him so scared."_

"_Who the hell do you think you are?" _

"_Whore."_

You feel like screaming, but instead reach into your purse, pulling out a thing of Tylenol PM you brought in a gift shop. You take three to help you go to sleep, and close your eyes tightly again. You cry softly, as you wait for the drugs to work. "God, Shane. Why did you do this?" you whisper almost inaudibly, as you wrap your arms around yourself. Eventually, your body feels like a rock as the drugs try to shut your mind off. You welcome it gratefully, as sleep overtakes you before the plane even flew off.

The next thing you know, you are being awaken by a stewardess. You eyes feel heavy as you opened them, looking at the unidentifiable blonde woman confusedly. "Sweetheart, we're here." She said hastily, before going to the next person. Your mind feels sluggish, as you bewilderedly unbuckle yourself and grab your duffle bag. You follow the crowd, your throat extremely parched and head foggy. As you leave the plane and travel down the extension, you remember you have to call Nate.

As soon as you reach the gate, you lean your head against the wall and close your eyes. The drug is still hindering your thought process, but you pull out your cell phone, ignoring all the missed calls. Instead, you call Nate swiftly. "Hey, I'm here." You whisper after he says hello.

"Okay, I'll be there in a couple minutes." He says, and you hear the absolute tiredness in his voice. You hang up and fight your way through the air conditioned airport.

This is your first time in California.

You've never even been to the west coast at all. You've only ever dreamed of getting out and coming to California. However, as you ask random people with a huge headache forming where the parking lot is, you do not even remember your dreams. When you get out of the airport, you are hit with the heat. It's not that bad, but then again, it is almost six in the morning. As you wait for Nate, you close your eyes against the wall again.

It was a bad idea to take three pills. It has left you groggy and drugged, and you just want to go back to sleep. There is a light wind that blows straight in your face, waking you up a little bit. "Oh, my God! Yeah, you heard about Shane? Yo." You open your eyes slowly, and see two teenage girls with an older woman. They look sad, while the mother just looks annoyed.

"I can't believe it. I feel so bad. I've gotten about a million texts from all my friends. Dude, Sally's hysterical. She's so in love with him." The other girl responds as they come closer to Mitchie. "I wonder why he did it. I mean, he has everything in the world, why would he try to kill himself? Maybe she didn't love him." she continued, her voice going low.

The other girl looked at her sadly. "Money isn't everything, remember? We just learned that in Psychology." The first girl says pointedly. Then, curiosity enters her face. "I wonder who that girl is that he has been slamming in every interview. I wonder if he did because of her, even though I think he hates her. Maybe she keeps bothering him." She said, shrugging her shoulders at her friend. The other girl bites her lip, as the group stands in front of Mitchie.

"I still can't believe he slept with her. Maybe she took the ring, and that's why he doesn't have it on. I don't know. All I know is that chick must be feeling pretty horrible right now." The first girl says, shaking her head knowingly. The second girl laughed, agreeing.

"God, I wonder what school would have been like today if we weren't going to Washington. Half the girls in our school would have been hysterical, just like Sally. I mean, Jesus Christ! It's the lead singer of Connect 3! Damn." The girl said, pursing her lips. The older woman gives the two girls a harsh look, and they shut up embarrassed.

But the damage was done.

You feel the tears rush to your eyes, but you try to keep them back, as your head pounds murderously. You close your eyes again, trying to rid yourself of the picture that is front of you, but before you can, your phone starts to vibrate again. you look at the caller ID, before answering. "Hey." You cough out, as you arms tighten around your body.

"Hey, I'm here. I'm the big SUV in the back. You think you can walk to us?" Nate says, and you immediately look around for the car. It's all the way in the back, but you automatically start walking away from the two teenage girls.

"Yeah, I'll be right there." You whisper, shutting the phone. The two teenage girls look at you strangely as you choke back tears. You wish you could just turn to them and yell or something, but instead, you continue forward. You walk deliberately to Nate's SUV, not paying attention to anything else but the car. When you reach it, you climb into the back next to the brother of the boy they were just talking about. "Hey." You say again, because you don't know what else to say.

Nate turns to you as the car starts moving again, and you wince. He's eyes are bright red; his hair a complete mess. He looks pale or gray even. "Hi." He said uncomfortably, squirming slightly. You nod, looking at him awkwardly as he struggled to keep it together. Without even really realizing it, you reach to him, squeezing his arm comfortably. He sniffs and looks away from you, but doesn't make you let go of him.

Suddenly, he's crying from the situation, and probably lack of sleep. You gulp back and look down as he looks out the window, sobbing softly. You don't ask where you're going, but close your eyes again, swallowing harshly. You keep jiggling your leg as you drive onto the highway, the sun barely out yet. Tears go down your face slowly as you notice the palm trees blowing gently in the wind. You look down slightly stunned when you notice a hand go on yours. Your fingers intertwine as he pulls you to him.

The both of you cry against each other.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	11. Chapter 11

"**And love is not a victory march. It's a cold and broken hallelujah." Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 11

You are shaking as you walk into the too-white medical center, noticing all the doctors swarming around holding large manila folders. Nate stands close to you, lowering his hat to cover his eyes, as you both follow the nurse taking you to where Shane is staying. Your heart is beating extremely fast as your eyes glue themselves to the sign above the doors.

Psychiatric Hospital: Mental and Behavioral Department.

You are breathing a little too hard, and you feel like breaking down again. You unconsciously move closer to Nate as you enter a cafeteria-like room filled with several kinds of people. You try not to stare at the crying, scared teens in hospital gowns as they sit across from their worried families. The two of you follow your guide as she cuts through the room. A girl with bandages on her wrist and arm looks straight at you as you move, and you can't help but gulp loudly.

The nurse brings you into a hallway, where you immediately see Jason leaning exhaustedly against a wall. Your eyes widen as you see the boy that drove you once before, and your eyes seem to work in overtime as you look him over. He was tired, so tired. The older boy gives you a half-hearted smile. "We need to stop meeting like this." He jokes sadly, before drinking some coffee to suppress a sob.

Nate purses his lips, hitting Jason's back soothingly and knowingly. The nurse looks at the two of you expectantly, and Nate shakes his head. "It's okay. Jay can show us the rest of the way. Thank you." the youngest says, swallowing harshly, as he tries to fake a smile to the departing nurse. She smiles back, and goes back to her station.

You squeeze your arms around your body as you notice the complete sadness in Nate's eyes. He is so worried and afraid. "I'm sorry." You blurt out, and both of them look at you surprised. Nate narrows his eyes confusedly as Jason bites his lip. "For everything." You choke out, looking away from them and staring at the floor.

Nate gives a sad look. "You don't have to be sorry, Mitchie. Shane was wrong in getting with you, and I'm so sorry you got mixed up with this whole thing. I should be the one sorry for calling you last night. This is not your fault, and you shouldn't have to worry about him." He says, digging his hands in his hair roughly. Tears sting your eyes as you shake your head stubbornly.

"That's not true, and you know it. I'm t-to blame here." You stutter out, still looking to the floor, your vision blurred. Jason sighs and comes closer to you, putting a strong, callous arm around your waist. You tense and shiver, as the oldest Connect 3 member touches you, wishing he was the middle one.

Talk about awkward.

"It's not your fault. Shane's always had a problem with depression. It's not your fault." He repeated, squeezing your shoulder, slightly smiling at you. You try to return the smile, but end up gasping for air instead. Jason frowns and pulls you into a hug, pushing his hard body against yours. It feels so strange to you. You haven't been anywhere near a guy in months, yet two members of the hottest band around have already held you today. Neither of them Shane.

Jason helps you calm down a little, before starting to lead you towards Shane's room. You rip out of his arms as discreetly as possible, and wrap your arms around yourself anxiously. You walk beside Nate quietly, as your heart jumps louder and harder inside of you. Your breath is coming out shakily as Jason stops in front of the room. He sighs harshly and something flashes in front of his eyes but you don't know what it is.

You hear voices from the other side of the open door, and you freeze. "I don't know if I can do this." You confess, your voice soft but frantic. Your hands curl into fists as your heart beats louder and louder in your chest. You are so nervous that you feel like you cannot breathe.

"Yes, you can. Don't worry. Listen, me and Jay are gonna leave you guys alone. I think you have to talk about stuff." Nate says gently, putting a strong hand on your lower back. He encouragingly pushes you slightly towards the room, and you move through the door, looking straight to the ground. You take a few deep breaths as Nate and Jason disappear before stepping in the room, your eyes still glued to the floor.

"Uh, excuse me can I help you? Absolutely no one is allowed here unless they have proper identification." A woman says, startling you. Her voice is tough and angry, apparently having done this a few times already. You bite your lip and bravely look up. Your heart stops when you notice the curtains are pulled all around and there is only a large black woman standing in your way. "Listen, honey. I know he's you favorite teen superstar, but he is just a human. Please, leave him alone." She tells you, her eyes piecing.

You clear your throat, your nails digging into your wrist. "I-I know him." You stutter, swallowing harshly. The nurse rolls her eyes sardonically and obviously, crossing her arms in front of her body toughly.

"Sure, you do." She says sarcastically, grabbing your arm hurtfully. You gasp as she starts to push back out the door. "That's what they all say. Please, go out now, before I get security." She says, as you are shoved out the room. You open your mouth like an idiot, but don't say anything. Suddenly, you're staring at a closed door stunned out of your mind.

"But I know him." You whisper, your eyes filling up with tears. You heartbrokenly and disheartenedly let out a sigh of breath. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe you shouldn't see him. Maybe it was for the best. You take a step away from the door, and it feels like the hardest step of your life. Your legs are like stone as you move away, and you want to turn back around and scream at the woman that you do know Shane Gray.

You _really_ know Shane Gray.

But, you're not brave enough. Instead, you take two more heavy steps towards the other wall, sliding down it as soon as you can. You bury your head in your hands, and just cry. You feel like screaming once again, but you refrain. You scoff softly through the tears. Screaming would at least get Shane's attention.

You scoff again. He's right there. He's two meters away from you, and you can't do a damn thing. The lady will kick you out again, maybe even calling the security people. You swallow again and shake your head. Nate or Jason could fix that. Hell, you could probably just call Nate right now and everything would be fixed. Just like if you walked in that room again, you could definitely just call out Shane's name and he would know who you are. So, what's the matter?

Why can't you just go back, knock on the door and see Shane?

You wipe your face roughly and jump when you hear heels clanking on the too-white floor. You look up to see a woman you sort of recognize, but don't know. She looks heartbroken. You shiver, knowing she was probably a parent to one of the suicidal kids you saw in the café. You blatantly stare at her bright red eyes and disheveled appearance, wondering if that's what you look like. Suddenly, her eyes meet yours, making your heart beat quickly again.

You immediately look down, ashamed at your behavior. She looked so desperate. "Why are you on the floor?" her voice rings out, and you shiver again. Her voice is beautiful, with such a calming effect; you know she is a mom.

You stare at your hands, confused and lost. "I don't know." You answer truthfully, still not looking at her. She makes a noise of agreement, before sliding down next to you. You bite your lip, and look at her, noticing how pretty she actually is. "What are you doing?" you ask, as you roughly wipe your tears again. You look at her, before noticing her face is tearstained. "Are you okay?" you ask immediately because that's how your mother raised you.

Your mother.

You ran away from home.

"Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine." She answers, but her voice sounds anything but fine. She looks ready to breakdown as well. "I just need a break. My life is hell right now." She confesses, her voice bitter and angry. She closes her eyes, and tears fall again. You swallow; you know you're in a hospital, but you never expected others to be hurting right now as well. You wring your hands in front of you, before clearing your throat.

"I used to have a relationship with the boy inside that room. He tried to commit suicide last night, and now, he's here. I'm terrified of going in." you confess as well, not looking at her anymore. Instead, you are staring straight at the door. The woman gives you a look you notice from the corner of your eyes, and you internally wonder if she knows Shane Gray –the superstar- is in there, but you shake it off. She is in her forties; she doesn't care. She's probably wondering why you're scared. "I haven't seen him in two months." You continue, hopefully answering her unasked question.

She looks down, nodding somewhat. "Why did you come?" she asks, and you freeze. You stare at the door, before turning to her, halfway shrugging.

"I don't know." You say, before letting some more tears fall. "Because I love him?" you suggest, scoffing slightly as you bring your hands up to your face in order to dry your eyes again. "Because I think he did this because of me." You say, you voice breaking. You are about to start crying hysterically again, but you try to hold it down for her sake.

She frowns, putting an arm over your shoulder. You don't know why, but you lean into her. She provides comfort your own mother hasn't provided you in such a long time, and suddenly, you are hysterical in her chest. She holds you tightly, and lets you cry, halfway crying herself. You draw your knees closer to your chest as you sob, almost uncontrollably. You're so scared. "It's okay, hon. Here, I'll go with you. You don't have to do this alone." She says, rubbing your shoulder. You freeze, and shake your head no.

She ignores you, and instead, stands up, pulling away from you. She holds out her hand, her eyes wise and sad as she looks at you. It's like she's looking into your soul. It seriously scares you, but you grab her hand anyways. She helps you up, and swiftly knocks on the now locked door. You wince and sigh, trying to think of some excuse before the guard opened the door. "It's really okay." You try to say, but your voice is incredible hoarse.

The black guard opens the door, an annoyed look set in her face. You know screaming is about to take place so you grimace for it. However, as soon as the nurse sees the crying, beautiful woman, her expression softens. Love and sadness are plainly in her eyes, as she takes a depress sigh. "Hey, sweetheart. How have you been, baby?" the nurse says, reaching to the woman, engulfing her in a hug. You tense, as your eyes widen.

What the hell is going on?

You look at the two bewildered as the nurse rubs the taller lady's back soothingly. "I'm fine Mabelle." The younger woman said, her smile obviously fake. Suddenly, she turns back to you, and you shrink back against the wall. She gives you a sad, small smile before grabbing your hand, pulling you back into the room. "Belle, you mind giving this young lady and Shane some time together alone?" She asks politely to now-shocked woman. Your heart drops.

She knows Shane. Shit.

"You know her?" Mabelle says, her eyes widening guiltily. She looks at you embarrassed. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I thought you were just another fan. I didn't know you knew the Grey family. Come right in, and take your time." She says, a warm smile going on her face. You stare at her, barely moving, barely breathing. She didn't look quite as scary anymore. Your eyes flicker between both women, scared and confused. Mabelle raises her eyebrows, before glancing to the other woman pointedly.

The woman sighs and goes to you, putting that comforting arm around you again. "Unless, you want me there with you?" she says, rubbing your shoulder motherly. You tense as she touches you, and shake your head, your hair flying everywhere. "Alright, then me and Mabelle will go to the cafeteria." She says, nodding over to the black woman, who was already leaving the room. Suddenly, the woman looks at you again. "I'm gonna guess your name is Mitchie?" the beautiful woman says, biting her lip slightly.

You hesitant, as your eyes widen in shock. "How do you know my name?" you ask abruptly, before you can stop yourself. You blush slightly, and looked down, somewhat ashamed at your rudeness. Your heart leaps when the woman softly chuckles, almost sardonically.

"Please, my son talks about you all the time." She tells you, before turning around, already walking with Mabelle. Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you watch the women walk away from you. You knew you recognized her from somewhere.

She was Mrs. Grey. She was Shane's mother.

You slap a hand to your face, groaning. _Of course,_ you think to yourself angrily. "Shit." You curse under your breath, as you run a hand through your crazy hair. You breathe in softly, before turning back to the open door, suddenly freezing again. You have to go in the room. You have to face Shane. There's nothing stopping you now. There's no excuse as to not go in. You walk in the room, your eyes glued to the floor, before closing the door behind you.

Your heart leaps as you look at the clear blue curtain, slightly swaying because of the open window. He's right there. You cannot even breathe anymore as you take a harsh step towards the curtain. The next step towards the hidden Shane is just as hard, until you are just outside the fabric. You close your eyes briefly, before gritting your teeth and pulling the curtain away. The image you see before you immediately breaks your heart.

Your mouth opens in a slight oval, as your eyes trace every part of him. He is obviously asleep, but he looks restless. His usually tan, glowing skin is now gray and lifeless. His two wrists are covered with thick white bandages. But more than that, what really breaks your heart are the smaller things. He looks so vulnerable in his oversized shirt and plain pajama pants. His hand is curled up in a fist, as if he is fighting something but cannot reach it. His brow is wrinkled with stress and his usually straight hair is curly with sweat.

You finally breathe again and take a step towards him, going straight to the seat next to him. The closer you get to him, the more you see of him. Your attention strays from Shane for a second to trace all the wires connected into his body, the machines beeping along. Suddenly, you are looking at heart monitor, watching as the line spikes up every so often with a heavy heart. You take another deep breath and sit up in the seat, looking straight into his face.

The grayness of his face is scaring you to death. He looks so small, so unprotected. You gingerly raise your hand to his brow, pushing back the wet, sweaty hair tenderly. You frown at the coldness on his skin, and finally notice he is shaking harshly. You grab the blanket that is loosely around his waist, and bring it up to cover his body fully, tucking in the blanket fully around him. You continue running your hand delicately through his hair, watching as his chest goes up and down.

You watch him for a couple more seconds, before your eyes dip down to his wrists. Both of them have thick bandages wrapped around them, making you wince. Your hand slowly goes from his hair down his face to his strong shoulders to his arm, until your fingers flicker the bandages hesitantly. Suddenly, you're choking back a sob. "God, Shane. What the hell did you do to yourself?" you groan, burying your head in the bed sheets.

You bring your hands to his stomach, gently rubbing it, as he continues to shiver. "Hey, hey. It's okay." You try to alleviate him down, as he continues to shake roughly against your hands. You rub his shoulders and arms through the blanket, trying to warm him up. "Baby, calm down." You say, frowning as his breaths comes out shakily.

He is so cold.

You bite your lip again, before standing up to look in the closet. Grabbing the extra blanket that you thank God was there, you rush back to him, throwing it over the freezing boy swiftly. You tuck him in the same manner, and sit back down, still slightly rubbing his shoulders and arms. He unconsciously snuggles up to the blankets, his hands balling up most of it gratefully. You run your hands through his curly hair again, pushing it out of his closed eyes.

Suddenly, against you own will and mind, you lean towards him and lightly kiss his forehead before kissing his cheek just as softly. You pull out the blankets from the side closest to you, and jump on the high bed as smoothly as you can. His body is still too cold as you lie down next to it and wrap the blankets back around you. You hesitantly bring your arm around his waist, your bodies slightly touching. You sigh harshly and lay your head on his outstretched arm, totally exhausted.

You have slept about five hours on the plane, but you also took some strong sleeping pills that have you sort of drugged. Yet, it's not like you usually get a good night's sleep. Usually you stay up half the night crying or thinking. You haven't had a comfortable sleep since the last day you left his arms in the hotel room. You gasp when his arms tighten around you, and you immediately glance up, full of anxiety.

Shane was still asleep. You sigh out in relief, not ready yet for the eventual confrontation you know will come. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you near him in his sleep. Unexpectedly, you are pressed up with his chest, as he shivers uncontrollably against you. You tighten your hold on his waist, hiding your head in the nook of his neck. You softly kiss the skin, before closing your eyes.

God, you missed this.

He might be asleep. He might hate you. He might never want to see your face again. But at least, he's holding you for now. The comfort you once knew is back with you as sleep overtakes you quickly.

Soft noise wakes you up, making you moan softly. It could not have been more than an hour later than when you lied down. Your body aches and your head hurts, but that isn't what alarms you. His arms are no longer around your body. You no longer feel him lying close to you, but instead feel him moving around on the bed, as if he was sitting up. You close your eyes tighter than they already are, as nerves start to go crazy inside of you.

He doesn't say anything, so you figure that he thinks you are still sleeping. You strain your ears to hear what he is doing without actually opening your eyes. You are pretty sure you are facing him right now, but you don't want to risk it. A familiar scratching sound suddenly hits your ears, before the turn of a paper. You know what he's doing; it's what you have been avoiding doing for months.

He's writing.

You wouldn't be surprised if he had his guitar with him. Its music first with Shane and you've always thought that was great. Even before you met him, you thought his loyalty to music and writing was inspiring. It's basically what made you fall in love with him.

The hand you have under the pillow curls into a fist, as you slowly open your eyes. You want to be discreet as you flutter them open, but realize that is totally pointless. He is up against side of the bed, with an open journal in his lap, staring straight at you. His eyes are hard and unreadable as they connect with your widening eyes. _Shit_, you scream in your head as you quickly and awkwardly try to sit up.

He watches you wordlessly, dropping his pen, as you attempt to situate yourself as your heart beats a million miles an hour. You look at him with a million different emotions in your eyes – the most apparent is guilt. He stares back at you with absolutely no feeling. The seconds pass as the two of you just stare at each other, words escaping the both of you. His eyes are seriously burning a hole through you, and every so often, you gulp back tears.

You don't know what to say. You don't whether to apologize or yell. The staring contest is getting extremely too intense for you, but you cannot seem to pull away from his dark eyes. The two of you are totally motionless, until he bites his lower lip, his eyes still cold. It makes you notice everything else about him, without taking your eyes off his. His cheeks are redder, and he looks less gray than he did before. He has traded the large shirt for a tight-fitting one, and his hair is at least brushed. He still has the large bandages on each wrist though.

You feel like literally screaming out. What the hell can you do right now? A million different things run through your mind at a million miles per hour, but most don't seem appropriate, and the ones that do, you don't want to mention. So, instead, the silence stays as the two of you just stare at each other with conflicting emotions. The tension in the room can be cut with a knife as the minutes pass.

The first time he acknowledges he is feeling something is when a couple rebellious tears run down your eyes. A flash of emotions pass through his eyes as quick as time, but you still manage to see it. "Shane." You choke out finally, as more tears escape. "How could you have done this?" you blurt out, your voice a little too high-pitched. He scoffs, and your heart jumps. You missed the sound of his voice, even if you hear it on the web and TV everyday.

"How could you have left?" he spits out, his voice breaking. Your whole body feels the impact of his words, but it was more what he didn't say than anything. He was hurt, so hurt. You can tell that as soon as he opened his mouth. He was also angry. He was depressed. He was remorseful.

But most importantly, he was scared.

His armor that he tried to convince he still had had broken apart, and he could no longer keep eye contact with you, looking completely away from you. Just when you are going to say something – anything – the door opens again, and you and Shane both jump. When you see who it is, you close your eyes embarrassedly. "Hey, honey. How are feeling?" Mrs. Grey says, going to Shane. Her eyes are less bloodshot than they were before, but you know that's the magic of makeup.

Shane swallows harshly. "When can I go home?" he asks, ignoring the question. A wall goes up around his eyes again as he speaks, and he detaches himself again. Mrs. Grey sighs, running a hand through her son's hair.

"Soon. Maybe tonight." She says, kissing his forehead softly, before looking at you. "Sweetheart, do you want anything? Why don't you come home with me? Nate told me you haven't gotten a good night sleep in a while." She bites her lip, looking at you expectantly. You are about to answer her, but you see something flash through Shane's eyes again.

"Mom, she's gonna stay here with me." He says fiercely, giving her a hard look. "I seriously need to talk to her." He tells her, but looks straight at you. Your heart starts beating wildly again, as you fake a smile for Mrs. Grey.

"Yeah. We have a lot to talk about." You agree, because really, what else can you do?

**XXX**


	12. Chapter 12

"**For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter won't call my name." Viva la Vida – Coldplay **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 12

When you woke up, you could hardly believe it. You literally thought you were dreaming, and you resisted pinching yourself in the arm. Closing your eyes tightly, you internally wondered what to pray for. When you opened them again, a warm body still lied next to yours, your arm tightly around them. Bringing your arm to your side and off her body, you slowly sat up in the small bed, your eyes getting wider.

You rubbed the sleep from them, wincing as the harsh bandage scratched your face, but she didn't go away. Your breath got caught in your throat, as you notice how much she has changed. Her hair was longer and messier. Her eyes had deep rings underneath. Her face was thinner than you remember. Actually, she was thinner than you have ever seen her. Her skin was as porcelain white as ever. God, she looked beautiful.

Except, she left you.

She left without a word, except a stupid note. You really didn't know what it felt to be truly heartbroken until you saw your purity ring on the counter, discarded as a paper weight. You remember the panic that filled up inside you as you rushed into the dark bathroom, before finally reading the note. When you realize she was truly gone, you called her. She didn't pick up.

She never fucking picked up.

It hurt so much. You sucked in your breath harshly, as you sat up higher next to her. You just watched her sleep, hearing the little noises she made as did. You thought you would never hear them ever again, and there they were. Instead of making you smile like it once did, they just made you angry. With every small breath she made, it was reminder of the pain you went through. Tears stung your eyes as you roughly rub your bandaged covered wrist, the flash of what happen that night stabbing your mind violently.

Your mind felt like it was going to explode. If you kept your eyes open, then you would be forced to look at her. Right then, you couldn't bear to do that. Yet, if you kept your eyes closed, you would be transported back to when a crying Nate found you in a pile of blood.

Hurtful either fucking way.

You quickly took out your journal you kept hidden under the bed, needing something to keep your eyes off her. Confusion weld up inside you, as you stared at the empty page after grabbing a pen. You wanted to see her for so long – you almost killed yourself over her – yet her she is, and you want to make her disappear. What the fuck is going on? Why are you feeling this way? So confused and lonely? This isn't you; this isn't Shane Gray. Shane Gray is perfect. He is a superstar. He is sexy. He is dangerous. He is hot. He is turn-on. He is fucking amazing.

He is not suicidal, especially over a girl.

You still do not know why you fell for her. Some days, you really regret it; others, you wish she was with you – and under you. You shivered slightly as your eyes jump to her body involuntarily. Sure, she probably lost weight unhealthily, but she looked amazing. More than amazing!

She looked older.

She didn't look fifteen anymore. She didn't look quite so naïve and innocent, and you know that's your fault. You breathe out softly, watching her chest fall up and down with every sigh. Her shirt was riding up enough for you to see her thin white hips out provocatively. Everything about her changed, including her clothes. They weren't as fun and nice as they were before; now, they were dark and sexy.

You close your eyes sharply. You didn't want to think about fucking her; you wanted to yell at her. The anger swirling around you, lace with pure hurt, overtook the desire for her. You wanted her to wake up, but you didn't want to wake her up. You wanted to make her realize that pain she caused you, but you didn't want her to leave again. But more than anything, you just want to hear her voice; you want to hear your name pass through her soft red lips.

After she woke up, you got your wish. The minute you see her shocked, wide eyes, you can barely breathe. She is so beautiful, so amazing, yet, she almost killed you when she left. What do you do? How do you feel? At this moment, if you opened your mouth, you know you wouldn't be able to get anything out. So, you stay in silence, just staring at each other. You notice all the intense emotions shining through her eyes, but you made sure to shield yours from her.

Suddenly, tears started to shine in her eyes, and a serious pain goes through you. _No!_, you scream to yourself. _You hate her! You want her to feel all the pain you have!_ "Shane." She cries out, after staring at you with tears sparkling in her brown eyes. "How could you have done this?" pain shoots up to your heart as you let out a scoff. If she knew the pain, you went through the last two month, she wouldn't be asking that. If knew the fucking pain!

"How could you have left?" you shoot out in angry despair, but emotions get in the way. You voice breaks slightly, as you look away ashamed. She starts to answer as a storm rages in your heart as to really fuck her up or just plain ol' fuck her. You swallow down the bile rising in your throat as your mother comes in – making both you and her jump slightly. You look at Mitchie automatically, and you see a red tint to her face. _Shit,_ they know each other. "Hey honey. How are you feeling?" your mother asks you, but you don't want to answer.

Because you have no fucking idea.

You look at your bloodshot-eyed mother, and swallow down the bile again. "When can I go home?" you change the subject, as you hide your emotions again. You resist moving away as your mother runs your fingers through your hair. She kisses your forehead softly, and again, you resist moving. You don't want her touch; you want to be alone with Mitchie.

You miss her so much.

Not that you'll admit out loud. After telling you you'll probably go home tonight, she surprises you by turning to Mitchie. "Sweetheart, do you want anything? Why don't you come home with me? Nate told me you haven't gotten a good night sleep in a while?" she says, biting her lip while looking at Mitchie expectantly.

Jealousy and anger enters you so roughly, it shows in your eyes and you know Mitchie saw it. It hurts you that Nate knows more about the girl you gave your virginity to than you do. You know Mitchie's about to answer for herself, but you can't help yourself. "Mom, she's gonna stay here with me." You say fiercely, giving your mother a hard look. "I seriously need to talk to her." You say, but this time you are looking straight at Mitchie.

You notice her doe eyes widen again, before faking a smile you see through immediately for your mother's benefit. "Yeah. We have a lot to talk about." She agrees, but her voice turns high pitch through half of it. She is nervous and guilty – so guilty. Your mother frowns, noticing the anger in your eyes finally. You can't hide it anymore apparently; you are furious with Mitchie, and if your heart was commanding you to make her stay, you would have kicked her out ages ago.

"Honey, Mitchie's tired. Why doesn't Mitchie come home with me?" your mother tries to smile, her eyes trying to convince you.

You respond by rolling your eyes, shaking your head pointedly. "She's staying here." You told them. Your eyes are piercing as you look at Mitchie again, trying to keep that harsh glare in your eyes. It is hard though; she looks sorry and just as hurt as you. With one look, you can tell that she went through as much hell as you did. But can you really forgive her? Your steady glance makes her look down to her lap, blood rushing to her cheeks as blood rushes to your lower body. "Please, mom. We need to talk." You say as nice as you can with growing desire and anger inside you. You try to quell the lust and focus on the anger.

It's so hard.

You can feel your cheeks turn red, so you look away embarrassed to your mother. She is looking at you unconvinced, ready to pull Mitchie away. Both you and your mother jump when you hear the brunette clear her throat pointedly. "Really, Mrs. Gray, it's okay." She says, her voice hoarse and rough. Her eyes are bright as she obviously – again at least to you – fakes another smile to your mother.

Fuck.

You bite your lip as her eyes well up with tears. You can literally feel your heart breaking, but you wish you couldn't. She looks so sad. You grit your teeth again, trying to push away the obvious love you have for her. You hate this. You hate your heart right now more than anything in the world. You hate her and the fact she left. And you really hate the fact that your mother won't fucking leave. "Mom! Seriously." You blurt out, scoffing slightly, looking at her pointedly.

You feel bad as soon as you notice the carefully masked pain behind your mother's eyes – a trait you got from her – but don't take it back and don't let it show. She hesitantly nods, and turns away, leaving you alone with Mitchie again.

Finally.

When you turn back to Mitchie, she is still looking in her lap as the door closes. You swallow roughly as you fight back the rising desire to just hold her again, and instead, let anger rule you. You want to hear her talk. You want answer. "Why the fuck did you leave?" you say darkly, your eyes narrowing. She finally looks up, her eyes brimming with tears.

Shit.

The whole staying angry with her will be harder than you imagined. You hate seeing her cry; it doesn't make you happy at all. She looks down again to her lap, and you let out a small sigh of relief as you are let go of her power. "Mitchie, answer me!" you say, your voice heavy with emotions. She winces at your loudness and raises her knees to wrap her arms around. "Mitchie." You repeat, truly frustrated at her lack of answering.

You continue to just stare at her intensely as she doesn't answer you, her eyes glued to her knees. You groan, and fall back to the bed, already exhausted. "Fine. Don't fucking answer me!" you spit out, running your hands through your hair exasperatedly. After a while, you realize she is shaking – or rather, she is crying. You grimace, the want to comfort her and the want to not want to comfort her is killing you.

You breathe in shakily, suddenly realizing you are verging on crying. She jumps and looks at you, shocked. Her eyes immediately soften and you see the guilt in her eyes immensity. "I'm sorry." She whispers almost inaudibly. Inside you, something breaks as you swallow down the tears.

_Stay angry,_ you command yourself. "I don't care." you say snidely, coming out harsher than you intended it to be. You see the hurt cross her face in seconds, and you involuntarily wait for her to come back with a comment. Except, she doesn't give your one; instead, she gulps softly and gets off the bed. You watch her as she looks straight to the floor, chin and shoulders down, and notice for the first time how shot her confidence was. She's hurt.

Just like you.

As soon as her feet hit the floor, you reach and grab her arm, securing her in place. Again, true anger rises in you. "Where the fuck do you think you are going?" you say furiously, and she looks at you startled. She bites her lip confused and looks down, wincing as she notices your bandages again. "You owe me an explanation, Mitchie, and I really don't give a flying fuck if you don't wanna talk about it. Grow up!" you repeat harshly, and for the first time, a different emotion sparks to her face.

Anger.

Tears shine in her eyes as she takes a step closer to you, completely hurt. "Grow up?" she repeats, her voice low with fury. "I'm sixteen years old, Shane! Actually, I _just_ turned sixteen yesterday. I was fifteen when you slept with me! Don't you realize that? I'm still a fucking kid, Shane! I don't need to grow up." she says, her voice getting progressively higher each time. You pull away from her stunned, letting go of her arm. You weren't expecting her to yell. "You need to." She whispers, taking a step back.

You blink back, scoffing slightly. "You don't know what I went through." you throw out, shaking your head. Tears finally fall down your face, but she ignores them, looking away. She wraps her arms tightly around her waist as she talks again.

"You don't know what I went through Shane!" she yells again, but she doesn't have to say it. You can see it in her appearance; she is completely destroyed. It's just easier to think you're the only one that was hurt. She sits back on the bed, burying her head in her hands, crying softly. "You think you're the only one who thought of this approach? Granted, I took pills instead, but it was the for the same ending." She confesses shakily.

You actually feel your body stop. Shit. Tears rush to your eyes again, as you stare at her without moving. She tried to commit suicide also. Swallowing roughly, you mutter sadly, "I guess this is one thing we should be glad we didn't succeed in." she scoffs and looks to you again, her cheeks red with tears.

"Should we?" she asks you darkly, staring at you intensely and tragically. You just stare at her, and don't say a word. The staring contest starts up again, as you can't rip your eyes off her. The tension is thick and heavy, and neither of you know what to do anymore. It's early and you're tired and you just want her back in your arms, but you don't. It's all too confusing and hard. She breathes out softly and gets off the bed again.

For the second time, you reach out and grab her. Expect this time not so roughly. She groans tearfully and looks down, waiting for you to yell again. Instead, you get off the bed, standing in front of her wordlessly. She looks up at you, her bangs covering her eyes, and you remember how _fucking_ beautiful she is. "We tried to kill ourselves because we were apart. Are you really gonna leave?" you ask almost inaudibly but definitely sadly. Her eyes widen as they search yours, trying to find out what you're saying.

It must be confusing for her. You keep trying to tell yourself to be angry, but it's so hard with tears running down her face. She swallows softly as tears silently go down her face, and you don't even realize you are pushing her against your chest until her arms are hesitantly reaching around you. Her hair smells amazing as you burying your head in her neck. It's a feeling so familiar and so missed, that you can't help but to wrap your arms tightly around her.

She starts crying hard as you embrace her, and you try to stay strong. "Why did you leave, Mitchie?" you can't help but to ask again. Your voice is shaky and you clear your throat roughly as she puts her head on your collarbone.

She is still crying as she answers. "I'm sorry." She repeats again, and this time you accept it. Your heart wants her back so much, but you won't allow it. It's very hard when you have two different voices yelling at you – the devil and the angel.

Expect, you don't know which is right and which is wrong.

All you know is that you've never felt more alive or better than when you were _with_ her. She fired your senses, a feat no one before or since could replicate. You kind of always knew she was the girl for you. You're not a big boyfriend type of guy, but with her, it was just easy to be that guy. Suddenly, the feeling her breasts against you chest drives you crazy enough to break your anger for a second.

You kiss her. You pull away from the tight embrace, tilt her chin back, and kiss her. She is shocked as you kiss her, but you don't care. It hurts too much to care. All you want is the pain to be gone, and sex is a great way to do it. The kiss starts off lightly, but the passion you two possess fires up the kiss. You always loved that about her; she has the ability to turn you on in seconds. Suddenly, your tongue is in her mouth, exploring the places you have tasted in months. Your hands go to her waist roughly, as you pull her closer to you.

She moans in your mouth, and you almost explode. You missed those noises so much. You kiss her harder as her hands tangle up in your curly hair. Your hand immediately goes into her hair, pushing her mouth against yours, almost brutally. She is clawing at you just the same; you know how she feels.

She wants to remember why she should stay alive.

The last time you had rough – extremely rough – sex was the day you found out about the miscarriage. The day tore you apart more than anyone will ever know. People assume you don't believe in God, and you just don't care. But you do. You really do.

You tear away from her lips and attack her neck, making her moan again. You groan as you suck on her soft skin, tasting her body. You make sure to leave a mark on her body, as your hands run up and down her body. It is like the two of you are freezing, and the only way you can warm up is by touching each other everywhere. Your mind is screaming at you with every kiss to just stop, but your heart doesn't let you.

For some reason, tears rush to your eyes again as you push her onto the bed, and she notices, tears running down her face still also. Her eyes soften as she pulls your hand, so that you can climb on her. You brace your body over hers, as to not harm her, as she runs her hands through your hair. Her touch is warm on your cold skin, as her hand presses up against your cheek. She wipes away the tears from your eyes as she chokes on her emotions. "I am so sorry, Shane. You know I never meant for you to hurt. I love you, Shane. I will always love you." she tells you, and you finally break down. For the millionth time since you ran the razor over your wrist, you cry.

But this time, it is in her arms. You bury your head in the nook of her neck, as you lie mostly on top of her. She kisses your shoulder softly, before sending kisses on your collarbone to your neck. Suddenly, your lips on each other's again, and it doesn't take long for your tongues to meet each other. She moans again as your hands runs down her body, grazing her breast purposely. You know if someone else could hear what you're thinking, they would think you are just horny and sex-crazed.

You're not.

Sure, you're seriously attracted to her. She makes you feel things that drive you to the moon. But, sex is more than that. It makes you feel like someone – Mitchie – actually cares. It makes you feel like you belong in this world. Your hands grip down on her hips, before running them down her legs. You hook your hand behind her knee, and wrap her legs around your waist. Your hand goes down to her thighs, squeezing them roughly.

You bite her lip harshly, before thrusting your lower body into hers. She yelps softly and throws her head back, allowing access to her neck. You kiss her neck again, as your hand goes closer to her inner thighs. You go back to her mouth, bringing your hand behind her head. You kiss her with all you have, as the one hand on her thigh continues to squeeze it.

"Oh my, God. Are you fucking kidding me!" you tear away from Mitchie, as the two of you look behind you. Standing in the now opened door was your little brother. "Get off of her." He orders, halfway running into the room. His face is livid, and you wonder why.

Until you remember, you are on top of a sixteen year old girl.

"Nate?" Mitchie whisper huskily, desire still in her eyes. She looks at him questioningly – and weirdly enough, innocently. Nate glares at her, shaking his head. A frown goes on Mitchie's face as you get off her, keeping a strong arm in front of her.

Nate's eyes light up with pure anger. "What the fuck is wrong with the both of you. He suddenly points at you. "Shane, stop fucking having sex with her. It. Is. Against. The. Law." He says, pronouncing each word louder. You narrow your eyes coldly, clicking your tongue, but he's already turned to Mitchie. "And you," he says furiously, "stop acting like a goddamn whore." He scolds, and Mitchie sucks in a deep breath, completely surprised.

Immediately, Nate realizes what he just said, but by that time, you already decked him in the face.

**XXX**

**Sandra ©**


	13. Chapter 13

"**Cuz love doesn't hurt, so I know I'm not falling in love, I'm falling to pieces." Wreck of the Day – Anna Nalick**

**(AN: Listen to "Run" by Snow Patrol while reading this or even "For Blue Skies" by Strays Don't Sleep or "Fall for You" by Secondhand Serenade.)**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 13

You are too stunned to do anything as you try to sit up, mouth opened wide. Your eyes are wide as Nate grabs his nose in shock and betrayal. You don't see Shane's expression as he raises his hand balled into a fist aimed at his little brother again. You swallow and jump up quickly. "Shane, stop." You whisper, coming behind him. You see his back muscles tense, as his breathing becomes shallow. His hand doesn't lower, but it doesn't move either, as Nate stares at Shane afraid with blood running down his face. A long second passes as no one makes a sound.

You bite your lip and move closer to Shane, putting your small hands on his waist. His body tenses even more, and you hear his sharp breath. Your cold fingers graze the soft skin just under his shirt hem, as you put your lips to his cloth-covered shoulder. Nate's looks at the two of you stunned as Shane lowers his stance, swallowing harshly. "I'm so sorry." He whispers, clutching his nose, his eyes watering. You fix him a cold glare from behind Shane's shoulder, making him look away.

"Get out." You say softly, but it is still sharp as a knife. Nate nod, giving Shane a look. You still cannot look at Shane's face, but something about it makes Nate stop in his tracks. His eyes widen more and it's like a silent understanding goes through him.

"You love her." He whispers, almost numbly. You narrow your eyes in confusion as you stare at Nate. He looks sad and pained, blood smeared around his hand. You hold your breath unconsciously waiting for Shane to answer, but Nate doesn't give him enough time to. "No offense or anything, but she's just a girl." He says cautiously, biting his lip, painting it red with blood. You could feel Shane's muscle tense again, as your heart reminds that Nate's words are true. You can almost feel Shane slip away from you, but you squeeze his waist pointedly. Nate swallows again, wiping his mouth. "I'm just trying to do the right thing." He confesses, his eyes brightening with tears.

Your eyes darken as the anger and humiliation intensifies inside you. "Yeah, how?" you choke out, knowing that the salvia inside your mouth was doubling. Shane's head moves a quarter of an inch towards you, listening to you. "By calling me a whore?" you spit out bitterly. Nate winces and pauses, before shaking his head. He opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him. "Get out." You repeat, almost gasping at the end of it. "Get that checked." You advise him, as you close your eyes, wanting the world to stop for a second.

The moment you close your eyes, your other senses heighten. You can feel the warmth radiating off Shane's body, so close to your own. You smell his sweet faded cologne he must have doused himself in beforehand. God, how you missed his smell. As you swallow, your eyes still closed as you hear a door shut, you can almost still taste Shane's salvia mixing with your own.

Your hands are still slightly squeezing his firm waist, before he moves away. You keep your eyes closed shut, hearing his every move softly. It's like every inch on your body can feel his every move. "Why did you hit him?" you ask before you can stop yourself, your eyes opening softly. He is back on the bed, his hands digging into his shaggy hair. The curls fall in front of his hands, and you can feel your heart jump. You've ever only seen him with crisp, straight hair that always seems to fall perfectly in front of his dark eyes.

The curly hair – his true form – is beautiful. He's beautiful, as he looks up with heavy eyes. Since you woke up, you could see the struggle behind his eyes. He doesn't know how to feel. He doesn't know whether to be angry at you or just be grateful you're back. He bites his lip, and doesn't answer you. You can guess why, of course. If he tells you that he punched his younger brother to protect your name that would mean he would admit to caring about you. You don't know what else to do or say, as he looks away from you. His white bandages on each arm catch your eyes again, and you feel like crying out. You bite your bottom lip, before sucking on it softly. It is swollen after the hard kisses he gave you, and again, you can almost taste him again.

You need to taste him again.

He's your drug, your addiction. Your heart beats loudly as you walk towards him, but he doesn't seem to hear it. He looks away from you as walk steadily to him, until you are just in reach. You can feel his warmth again, as you come within arm's reach. You breathe in harshly as you stare at him. You want to make love to him. You want to fix his broken heart, and you want your pain to go away. You want to prove to him that you love him more than anything. You want to prove to him that you are sorry you betrayed his trust and went against his word.

You just stare at him instead, as his deep brown eyes look off in the distance. The freckles on his neck continue on under his shirt and you just want to touch them again. You feel like crying as the painful silence goes on. A light wind comes through the open window and rustles your hair, lightly spreading the lavender scent that is all you. He winces softly, as he unconsciously breathes in deeply, and you realize, that as much as you can feel his every move, he can feel yours as well.

His hand balls into a fist and you know the struggle has intensified inside him. He wants to be angry with you so badly, but he doesn't know how. This is not the Shane Gray you met. This is a different man – tore apart by pain and confusion. A sob bubbles up inside you as guilt stabs your heart repeatedly. You never wanted to hurt him. You love him more than you love yourself. "Why did you leave?" he repeats again, his voice as soft as a lost whisper.

You suck in a breath, as pain shoots up inside you. His voice is so vulnerable and smooth, so lost and silky. He is the only one with the ability to make your insides melt. You do not know how to answer him. You have avoided this question every time he has asked it. "I-I…"you stutter, your voice coming out harshly. God, you are so different from him. He is so elegant and dark, while you are so sloppy and transparent. "It hurt." You say defeatedly, frustrated you cannot give him a better answer.

He deserves a better answer. He deserves the world from you, but you cannot give it to him. Especially, back then. His eyes, still looking away from you, flash with something, but you cannot tell what it is. All you know is that you wish he would smile. You have barely ever seen Shane smile, but when you have, your heart had stop each time. Anytime he ever laughed, it was a blessing to you.

He shakes his head softly. "And you thought separating was the answer?" he asks, an almost sincere tone in his voice. But you know him well enough to realize he thinks that leaving was never the solution. You cannot answer, mostly because you hardly know. You acted on impulse that day you left him, scared about your mother and even your future. You did not know what to do then, and you do not know what to do now. He pauses, before looking at you.

Your heart stops as his hazel eyes catch yours in a shattering moment. You know the next words out of his mouth will not be good, and you do not want to hear them. You do not move, though. "I don't think I can do this again." he says almost to himself. Your heart breaks as tears form in his sad eyes. "But I can't stay away from you. I don't know how to function without you anymore." He argues with himself, looking at you as if you weren't really there.

Then suddenly, he's not looking at you anymore, but instead looking to the ground. He is so vulnerable some times. He is so unlike what he is supposed to be. You can see the storm continue behind his eyes, and all you want is to make him better. You want to fix him. You move forward bravely, swallowing before you could really think about what you were about to do. You put a small hand on his cheek, surprised when you felt wetness there, but continue to move forward as you lift up his chin gently.

He does not look at you, but that doesn't stop you from putting your lips on his. Explosions go through you, as you seek out his lower lip. Every time you kiss him, it is like the first time. It makes you nervous and scared. Your veins fill up with desire and lust and want and love as he hesitantly moves his lips against yours. His faint cologne hits your nose again, as you tentatively put your arms around his neck.

Confidence blooms inside him, and suddenly he is kissing you back harshly just like he had before Nate walked in. You gasp at the roughness and separate from him. "Soft, Shane." You tell him almost inaudibly, looking him in the eyes. He lowers his eyebrows as he searches for something in yours eyes. He shakes his head slightly, barely moving it an inch.

"I don't want to." He says, as your arms start to slip from behind his neck. "I want to hurt you." he confesses shakily, trying to sharpen his voice. He wants to sound harsh and mean, but something is not letting him. You take it as an advantage, and very lightly pushed him back on to the bed. You insecurely put your knees on either side of his hip, straddling him completely, before lowering yourself on him. He is looking at you smolderingly, watching your every move.

Your hair falls in front of your eyes as you get closer to his face, and suddenly, your lips on his for a second. They swiftly leave them, and you kiss his cheek tenderly. You sprinkle meek kisses on his lightly freckled skin, going down to his throat. You suck on his Adam's apple with your eyes closed, and he groans faintly as his hands go on your hips. Your hands travel down his hard chest delicately, before reaching the hem of it, pulling it up. He shivers as your cold hands touch his skin, goose bumps following wherever you touch. You look up to his face, and notice his eyes are closed tightly.

"_I'm sorry."_ You mouth, even though he cannot see you. You ignore the tears behind your eyes as you push up the shirt higher, exposing his flat stomach until he is forced to raise his arms above his head. You unhurriedly take it off, his curly hair landing in front of his eyes. You brush it back gently, before leaning back in to kiss him. His lips seek your immediately, as his strong hands come up and wrap around your small waist. He crushes you down to his chest as the kiss intensifies. Your tongues rub against each other, as every nerve in your body comes alive.

You've missed him so much.

His hands rub your back, balling up pieces of fabric each time. You dig your hands in his messy hair, moaning into his mouth as reaches the clasp if your bra. He unhooks it, making you breathe out shakily. He pushes your shirt, his hands stroking your sides with callous hands. You push away from his mouth, your hair everywhere, as you let him take off your shirt. Your bra hangs on your shoulder carelessly, until he pushes the straps off your arms. You breathe in harshly as your breasts are exposed to him.

Your cheeks redden but you do not take your eyes off him as his eyes sweep over your chest. Your hard rosy nipples stand out against your pale skin and brown hair, before he hesitantly raises his hand to your stomach. You shiver as his fingertips graze your skin, trailing up until he is cupping your breasts. He flicks your nipple lightly, making you gasp. He looks up at you, momentarily distracted from his actions. Your eyes meet in a sad understanding, knowing nothing will ever be the same. How can it?

You feel like crying as you stare at each other, his hand still around your breast. Unexpectedly, he lets go of you, his fingers brushing your hard nipple again. Your eyes widen slightly as you continue to look him straight in the eyes, confused as to why he stopped. "When do you have to go home, Mitch?" he asks, his hands settling on your upper thighs faintly. You clear your throat softly, being reminded of one of the things you did not want to be reminded of.

"I ran away from home." You say in a whisper, your fingers lightly tangling up in his thick hair. His eyebrows raise and he stares at you stunned, until he looks away. "Nate called me yesterday, and told me… about what happened." You explain, as his eyes go down your body. He brings his hand back up, his fingertip barely touching you, before speaking again.

"Have you called your mother?" he asks, making eye contact with you again. Your face flushes, as you shake your head. A flash of emotions pass through his eyes momentarily. "Call her, Mitch, before she sends the entire police force on my ass." Shane says seriously, nudging you softly. You nod, and pause. He looks at you expectantly, but you instead, wrap your arms back around his neck, pressing your naked chests together.

You press your body as much as you can against his, burying your head in the nook of his neck as you breathed in deeply. He tilts his head towards yours, kissing your cheek, as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around your naked back. You want to stay this way forever – in his arms, but he nudges you again, looking at you pointedly. You sigh tiredly, and reach into your pocket, pulling out you small phone.

You dial the number quickly, but you hesitate before sending the send button. Shane bites his lip, his hand leaving your body for a second to take your phone out of your hands. Your breathing stops as he presses the button and puts the phone to his ear. You freeze when you hear your mother's frantic voice since you are so close to Shane, and your heart starts beating quickly. _"Mitchie! Where are you? Are you okay?"_ she says, and you can hear the sobs in her voice. You close your eyes and fall back into his body, your breast against his chest as you listen to his smooth voice.

"Mitchie's fine. She's with me." Shane says gently, and you wait for the screaming to start. His chest moves up and down as he breathes softly in and out, as you put a hand to his collarbone. You hear your mom take a sharp breath.

"_Can I talk to my daughter please?"_ she says, but you can tell it isn't really a question, more like an order. Shane squeezes your hip with his other hand, but you shake your head without opening your eyes. He sighs lightly, giving you a hard look, but doesn't say anything to you. You hold your breath as you look at him, wondering if he truly forgave you. He still has not actually said he has, but by his actions, you think maybe the anger is losing.

"I'm sorry. She's sleeping right now." He lies, pulling away from you, making you freeze again. Your body feels cold immediately as his chest leaves yours, and you think maybe you are wrong. Maybe he has not forgiven you. Maybe he is still angry, just too hurt to care. "But she's okay." He promises, biting his lip as he looks away from your persistent eyes. You do not hear anything from the other line, and you wonder if your mother dropped the phone or something.

"_She tried to kill herself. Did you know that? She goes to a shrink and everything. She has to take anti-depressants. She doesn't eat or do anything. She never plays the piano or guitar or sings anymore." _Your mother rants quickly and accusingly. Shane closes his eyes, his curly hair falling in front of his eyes again. You bite your lip, and push the soft hair back, cupping his cheek as your hand slides down. He gives you an unintentional heartbreaking look, before his hand squeezes your naked waist again.

He is looking straight at you when he talks again. "Did she tell you what happened?" he asks her, but you shake your head for her. He swallows and continues. "I'm gonna guess no, but I…went through some stuff the other day. It was the last day of tour, and I realized that I would alone…" he trails off, his eyes suddenly looking passed you. He was remembering a memory you can tell he wish he could forget. "I…" he starts again, but does not continue. He lowers his gaze to your naked chest, pushing you back to him. "I went a little crazy and things got out of control." He confesses, his lips talking against your shoulder.

You close your eyes and run your hand up his spine, making him shiver against you. _"Things got of control how?_"your mother asks, gulping slightly. She doesn't give Shane time to answer, before talking again. "_What is with you kids? Huh? You both are so young. It shouldn't be about love right now. It definitely should not be about sex."_ She wants to yell, but she doesn't. She says it with a sharp edge though. You sigh against him, your breasts bouncing on his chest.

Startled, he looks at your pressed together bodies, noticing the differences. How soft you are and how firm he is. How pale your skin is compared to his tan. And of course the major difference – at least in your eyes – how beautiful he is and how average you are. He bites his lip, flinching slightly as he tries to come up with an answer to your mother. Suddenly, he pushing you away again, grabbing at your discarded shirt and bra. He halfway throws them at you, mouthing for you to put them on. "I get it." He says to your mother. "I get that you want to protect her, but she's not exactly a child anymore. She can make her decisions, and she chose to come here. I only called to say that she's safe and… she'll call later or something." He struggles with his words as you finger your clothes.

You shamefully and awkwardly put your bra back on, before slipping your shirt on. _"No, no. wait!" _your mother practically yells. _"Please… just… promise me that you won't hurt her. I wish I could just go and get her, but I look at her and she's trying to kill herself because she doesn't have you. What's the point of getting her when she might succeed the next time?"_ your mother said, and your heart breaks. _"I'm sorry."_ You mouth again to Shane, but this time it is meant for your mother.

Shane looks at you, reaching for his own shirt, but doesn't say anything else. Instead, he snaps shut the phone, throwing it softly on the bed. You wipe your eyes carelessly, as he looks away from you. His hair goes in front of his face again, and the impulse to push it back hits you again. It is like your hand moves on its own accord as you reach your hand up to his face, but this time he leans away from your touch. You stop breathing momentarily, hand in the air, as he turns back to you, eyes sharp.

"What's wrong with you?" he spits out, almost glaring. You freeze, looking at him with wide eyes, and don't answer. Suddenly, you can see the battle between love and anger behind his eyes end. Pure fury shines in his eyes. "Don't you realize that people genuinely fucking love you? They love you, Mitchie. They would die for you!" he yells darkly, his eyes lighting up with fire. You shrink back, looking away from him. "And you have no problem just leaving. You have no fucking problem with breaking their hearts!" he screams, his voice breaking at the end, as he looks at you emotionally.

"I'm sorry." You whisper again, eyes never leaving the white sheet of the hospital bed. You feel him tense harshly again, his hands balling into a fist as he sucks in a sharp breath. For some reason, fear runs through you as anger booms inside him.

"I know!" he yells, tears apparent in his eyes. "That's all you can say, but I don't give a flying fuck. I need you to be with me, but I know you're gonna go back to your home when it's over." He scoffs angrily, swallowing roughly. Tears fall from your eyes, as you pick at the sheet violently.

"Dude, I'm sixteen. I have school and all." You say lamely, your heart beating fast. You wince as you hear his fake laugh lace with bitterness.

"Are you fucking serious? Sweetheart, I have a brother who is the same age as you, and guess what! He goes to school." He said sarcastically, anger coming out full force. You bite your lip, tears still falling softly. "I can get you a tutor. Hell, even the same tutor Nate has. Christ, you act like I'm not still in high school as well." He said scoffing, and surprise goes through you. Actually, you had no idea he was, but some reason it makes you feel something strange inside you.

You close your eyes, before turning to look at him, wincing at his sharp glare. "You know in the real world, Shane, people don't always get what they want." You remind him, looking straight into his eyes. He shrugs his shoulders sardonically, and you see something you haven't seen in a long time. You see Shane Grey – as in the celebrity.

"Baby, I'm not _people._" He emphasizes firmly, shaking his head. "I'm fucking Shane Grey, for Christ's sakes. Don't tell me that I can't have what I want, Mitchie. I want you with me, and I'll make that possible one way or another. So forget about that excuse, honey. You either want to be with me or you don't, but don't make excuses." He scolds sternly, huffing at the end of it. You do not answer, but instead just stare at him, your bangs in your eyes. "Mitchie." He growls, wanting you to say something.

You open your mouth and close it before opening it again. "I… I don't know what to say, Shane. Um, my mom and dad aren't going to let me take myself out of school so that I can be with you. okay." You try to say your thoughts, but he keeps shaking his head, dismissing them. "No, Shane." You tell him, breathing out frustratedly. "Where would I live? Hmm? In an apartment somewhere in L.A.? Shay, I can't even get a job, and I have to support myself? I-I can't." you say stuttering, and he shrugs, obviously thinking.

"You'll live with me." He throws out, again dismissing you. You groan and shake your head.

"Shane, I can't live with you. Dude, the media will hound your ass. Plus, that will split up the trio, and I don't want to be the reason Connect 3 fails." You argue, putting your hands in your hair. You don't know why these thoughts are coming to you right now, but they are. You are scared and for once thinking sensibly, even though you wish you weren't. It sucks being the adult sometimes. He sighs feverishly, shrugging sardonically again.

"So, then, you'll live with me at my home. My mom won't mind. She understands." He suggests, his tone showing that he really does not care. For a second, you look at him, completely speechless. He is looking at you intensely with piercing eyes, waiting for your next excuse you guess.

"Shane, I don't know what to do." You say after a while, shaking your head a bit. "I just want… I just want to…" you trail off, struggling. You swallow as the words float in the air, completely unfinished. "I don't know." You say flimsily, wringing your hands nervously.

He closes his eyes disappointedly, and looks surprised at the door as it opens again. You look down as embarrassment enters your cheeks with wide eyes, as the doctor and his mother walk in. he breathes out steadily. "And that's why I made you put your shirt back on." he whispers almost inaudibly, and you scoff humiliated. You turn back to the newcomers as they talk quietly among themselves, before turning to the both of you. "Can I go home?" are the first words out of Shane's mouth, directed at the doctor.

The doctor looks apprehensive as he approaches the bed. "Mr. Gray, your mother and I were talking. We think maybe you should be transferred over to hospital specializing in mental health." He tells him, and you lean back, stunned. His mother is gulping, looking down. You turn to Shane, who has a similar look as yours on his face.

"But-" he says confused, his eyebrows knitting together. "I'll be fine." He continues looking at his mother strangely.

The doctor clears his throat. "Well, yes. You are physically okay; however, we are worried about your mental health. This center will help you focus better." The doctor explained, and you could feel your heart dropping. Shane's eyes widened as he look to his mother, still obviously not meeting his eyes.

"I don't want to go." Shane says, scoffing, but you can see the fear behind his eyes. His mother finally looks up, and you feel like wincing. She looks worse than before.

"Baby, maybe it's for the best, you know? You can get away for awhile." She says, trying to keep her voice calm. Shane shakes his head frantically, clearly getting more and more upset.

"No, I don't want to fucking go." He tells them, his voice getting higher with each word. Your hand automatically goes out and takes his, and he looks at you. His eyes are hysterical as they connect with yours, and your heart breaks. You swallow, as you try to comfort him without saying anything. He breathes out slowly as he looks at you, his curly hair falling in front of his eyes again.

"Shane, I think you should go. Actually, you're going." His mother says, with a stern voice. You look at her shocked – somewhat. She is a mother, and her son did try to kill himself. She just wants what's best for him. You heart stops beating as Shane visibly starts to freak out.

"No! You can't make me go. You can't. You can't." he says, fear and hysteria entering his voice. "Not now that Mitchie's back…" his voice breaks and you squeeze his hand. He looks at you again, eyes wide and bright. You shake your head firmly and pointedly, before boldly turning to the doctor and his mother.

"You cannot make him go." You tell them, trying to quell your nerves. His mother gives you a disapproving look, basically telling you to stay out of their business. What she does not understand is that Shane is your business. Especially considering how this is mostly your fault. The doctor frowns at you also, dismissing you. "No." you say daringly. "You cannot make him go. Legally, he is in charge of himself. He is eighteen years old, and he has the right to refuse medication and doctor's orders." You say confidently, and you see the doctor sigh annoyed and his mother give you a sad, angry look.

"Is that true?" he whispers, fear still present in your voice. Your eyes soften as you look at him again, nodding in his direction. He closes his eyes – in relief you suppose. "Then I'm not going. It's my decision. I want to go home. I want to get out of here." He says, jumping off the bed, almost knocking you over and running into his mother. She tries to slow him down by putting a hand on his shoulder, but he shakes her away, totally betrayed.

He grabs at his journal and jacket, putting it on swiftly. "Shane, please. It's for the best." His mother tries again, but he is already moving past her. For a second, you think he is going to walk out the room without you, but he suddenly throws his hand out in your direction. You quickly jump off the bed and into his arms, already halfway out the door.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	14. Chapter 14

"**I forgive you. For blue, blue skies." For Blue Skies – Strays Don't Sleep**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 14

You run out with him, hand in hand, going aimlessly through the thankfully empty hospital corridors. It is a complete blur as he drags you along swiftly, until you abruptly stop in the middle of a hallway, far away from his room. You put a hand to your chest, feeling your loud heartbeat as you breathe out roughly, before looking at him. He is panting slightly and is digging his hand through his hair, panicking as he grabs his phone. "Jason, where are you?" his voice showing tension and anxiety.

You do not know what to do, as he talks to his brother. You know he is speaking, but you cannot bring yourself to actually listen to what he is saying. Why did you do that? Why did you interfere? As you look at his still scared face, you get your answer. His mother, even with her best interest, was hurting Shane, which was something that you would never allow. You have already caused him enough hurt, without someone else doing that also.

You watch him as he argues with his older brother, wincing when his voice gets higher. "Well, he fucking deserved it! Who the hell does he think he is? I'm his older brother. He has no right to disrespect me the way he did. He got what was coming." Shane defends himself furiously, moving away from you with every word. He goes to the other side of the hallway, but you stay rooted to the same spot. "Look, can you pick me up or not? I need to get out of here." Shane asks, looking up to the ceiling, trying to rid all of his emotions from his face. He bites his lip as he waits for an answer.

Something yells inside of you. The way he is biting his lip. The way his hair falls in front of his eyes. The way that shirt hugs his body. The way his pants are just tight enough for you to know what is going on underneath. The way his shirt goes up the tiniest bit every time he throws his hands up. The way his voice sounds. The way he says your name. The way he _screams_ your name. The way his eyes darken when they look at you.

Everything about him is absolutely beautiful to you.

"Mitchie!" you jump, not even realizing that he had crossed the room. He is looking at you intensely, and you can tell he has probably said your name more than one. Your eyes meet and he freezes. Your eyes are dark with lust when they connect with his widening eyes. He can tell right away what you are thinking, and just when you think another staring round is going to take place, he looks away abruptly. "Jay is gonna take us our private apartment. C'mon." he says briskly, already walking away when you nod.

You follow him down the stairs and through another set of hallways, before meeting a slightly angry, slightly confused Jason waiting by the gift shop. The two brothers barely say one word to each other as Jason leads the way to the back entrance where cars and security are stationed, awaiting your arrival. You walk along, wordlessly, keeping Shane within a foot of you always, but never reaching for his hand. The hot air hits you hard combined with the Californian sun, as you make your way quickly to the large black SUV.

Shane covers his wrists self-consciously as people yell and scream all around you. You try to make out who they are, but Jason and Shane push you in the car swiftly, not caring that you are overwhelmed. You and Shane jump into the back seat, fumbling as you put on your seatbelt and try to fall off the seat with the speed Jason is going. "How could you hit him, Shane!" Jason suddenly asks, anger obviously in his voice. You shiver, looking down.

"Whatever, man. It's done and over with." Shane responds, shutting down his emotions to everyone. He stayed quiet the entire trip to the apartment that you had no idea he had, but you guess that was the point. You bite your lip as cars follow you and people scream and point, feeling as if you are in a horror film. Jason keeps driving however for what seems like hours in the quiet, uncomfortable car. Shane does not turn to look at you, and you do not push him.

He just reaches behind him and puts on a nice gray jacket, covering his wrists fully.

Suddenly, your cell phone's vibrating, getting Shane's attention as you pull it out awkwardly. _"Dude, r u okay? Where r u? Ur brother called me, wondering if u were okay! Call me – Cait._ The text read, and you swallow guiltily. You squirm slightly as Shane reads the text over your shoulder, his eyes narrowing in confusion. "I didn't know you had a brother." He says, finally looking at you. You do not trust your voice to speak, so you just nod and then shrug. "Why didn't you tell me?" he questions, his hand going to your phone.

You shiver when his fingers brush yours and shrug again. "You never asked." You say truthfully, as you slide open your phone, his hand still touching yours. You stare at the keypad, wondering what to write, as he flinches softly. _"I'm fine, Cait. Tell Austin I love him, and not 2 worry. I'll call u later. 3 M."_ you write back, falling back onto the seat as silence hits the car again. You look out the window and notice some of the fast life that is California has faded, and has been replaced with the beach. "Wow." You say as you look at the light blue waves crashing down.

You turn when you hear Jason laugh. "Have you never seen the ocean before?" he asks, a smile going on his face. You blush, sitting straighter in your seat, as you nod. Shane stares at you wordlessly as you turn to his older brother, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Well, I mean, I've been to the Jersey shore like a billion times, but over there it is dark and violent. But Malibu is blue and serene. It's beautiful." You say, your voice lowering as you stare out the window, tracing the horizon with your fingers. Shane raises his eyebrows and fidgets slightly.

"Are you from New Jersey?" he asks, obviously curious and frustrated. You clear your throat and nod, while Jason laughs. You both turn to the driver, puzzled by his laughter, as he turns onto another street.

"Dude, you're her boyfriend. Shouldn't you know she's from New Jersey?" he says, rolling his eyes. Both you and Shane freeze at Jason's words, and the blush comes back to your cheeks as you look out the window again. "_I _knew she was from Jersey." Jason continues, pushing the invisible knife deeper as he slows down the car, going on a more residential street. Shane growls softly under his breath, as he tightens his hands into fists. You bite your lip, alarmed, and put a hand on his knee, trying to sooth him.

You gasp as he hits it off, barely looking at you, as you stop in front of an apartment complex that looked like it was kissing the sky. You almost had to throw your head back to see the top of it, but you didn't care. Your eyes never left Shane as he immediately jumped out the car, completely ignoring you. Jason throws you a confused smile, as you thank him and get out the car. Sighing, you walk up the pathway, looking at Shane as he fumbles with the key to the building angrily. "What's wrong, Shane?" you ask, putting a hand on his lower back.

He jerks away from your touch as he finally opens the door, barely keeping it open for you. You scoff hurtfully as you enter the lobby, turning back to wave at Jason politely. He gives you a big smile and waves back, and suddenly, Shane grabs your wrist harshly. "Can you come, please?" he orders, his eyes dark and furious as they pull you along the empty lobby.

"What's your problem?" you ask lightly, trying to touch him again as he stalks over to the elevators. He moves away from you, crossing his arms across his chest. His eyes are smoldering as they connect with yours.

"I don't have a problem." He responds with a tone that illustrates he obviously has a problem. You stand awkwardly next to him as he presses the elevator button a million times, jiggling on his feet frustratedly. His hand goes into a fist again, as you sigh and reach for him again. You softly squeeze his waist, your eyebrows lowering as tears rush to your eyes. You are too tired and exhausted to have to deal with his mood swings too. "Do you know what it is to know that everyone knows more about you than I do?" he explodes suddenly, hitting the wall angrily.

You blink at him, shrinking away slightly. "Shane, no one knows me more than you do." You tell him, the sexual implication clear in your voice. He rolls his eyes and enters the elevator that thankfully just arrived. You cross your arms uncomfortably as you enter the small room, looking at him lean against the railing. Your breath gets caught in your throat as the elevator starts to move. He looks like a fucking model. "Shane, stop." You whisper, your voice breaking.

His eyes darken as he lowers his eyebrows. "Stop what, Mitchie?" he spits out bitterly. "The elevator?" he asks sarcastically. You roll your eyes, before freezing when he really does reach over and pushes the emergency stop button. You gasp loudly, grabbing the railing, as the elevator screeches to a halt. It shakes wildly before stopping completely, your heart beating a million miles per hour. You look at him with wide eyes, breathing hard, as he stands there, barely having taken a step.

"What the fuck is your problem?" you yell, your hands gripping the railing so hard, they are turning red. He shrugs sardonically, still glaring at you. "Are you fucking crazy? The ambulance or fire department or whatever is gonna come, you moron!" you curse, as you try to reach for the button to make it start again. He immediately reaches for you, blocking the way.

"Calm down. It's not attached to anything. The only way that anyone would come is if you call them." He says with an arrogant tone, as he points to the red phone on the wall. You close your eyes, and do not say anything as you try to reach pass him to get to the button again. "Oh, no, you don't." he says, pulling you to him.

Something explodes inside you. "Stop!" you scream, and the whole elevator seems to tremble. You breathe out hard as he looks at you surprised. "Stop! Do you know what you are doing to me?" you yell, tears coming up again. "I get that you do not know what to do. I get that you don't know whether to forgive me or forget me, but stop!" you repeat, looking at him fiercely. His eyes narrow as his mouth opens slightly. "You don't know things about me because you never care to learn. Don't blame others for actually sitting down and asking. Don't blame me for you not knowing anything about me!" You continue, your voice cracking slightly.

His eyes darken and you can see the pure anger behind his face as he steps toward you. You move back, your eyes never leaving his, as he backs you up against the wall. Surprisingly, no fear or alarms ring up inside you, but rather a mixture of lust and anger. His hand cage you to the wall, eyes never leaving each other, until you are breathing the same air. His long hair brushes the side of face as his lips come closer to you.

You shiver as his hot breath tickles your skin, as his lips barely touch your cheek. They travel teasingly to your ear, as your heartbeat increases. "They know so much, don't they? And I don't know anything…" he whispers, blowing on your ear provocatively, making you freeze. His lips pull your earlobe in his mouth, before gently biting down on it. Your hand immediately falls on his chest, not knowing whether to push him off or pull him closer.

He sucks on your skin faintly, but just enough to make you want to scream. Your breath gets stuck in your throat, as his hand tantalizingly goes to your neck until he is cupping the side of your face. He rests his hand against your reddening cheek, making you look up at him as you lean more and more against the hard rail. "Not a fucking thing." He continues, his voice low and dangerous as his warm breath hits your lips.

His fingers press into your skin as his palm pushes your head up as he lowers his. Every nerve and cell comes alive as he closes the distance between you, but pulls away at the last moment, barely grazing your lips. His other hand is on your shoulder blades, pressing firmly between them before sliding it down your small back. "Do I?" he asks, almost talking against your lips, but not even touching them.

Your insides feel like they are going to explode. You feel your whole body tremble as his fingers lightly run down your cheek, before they stop on your mouth. Suddenly, you are hit with his taste, as a finger slips between your parted lips. "Suck." He commands softly and your eyes widen, as you involuntarily do his order. He keeps his palm firmly on your chin as he swirls around his finger in your mouth, before putting his lips on the side of your neck gently.

With his other hand, he slowly and teasingly rubs your arm, making every hair on it stick up with electricity. You pant slightly, opening your mouth, and he slips his finger out, trailing down your neck firmly. You shiver as he leaves a wet trail, tickling you as he reaches your collarbone with just his fingertips touching you. He presses his lips to your neck again as he does, your heart beating wildly. And then, just like that, he's gone.

Your eyes widen as you look at him starting where his shirt riding up enough to show the pale skin and boxers to his eyes. The smirk on his face makes you think maybe he – celebrity Shane – is back, but his eyes are still too serious. He is still wearing the jacket he put on in Jason's car over the shirt, until he bites his lip and slides it off him. It hits the floor with an echoing thud, his hair falling in front of his eyes again.

He walks toward you again, the shirt hitching up more exposing even more skin. You can feel your face burn up as you look away, but his hands immediately go to your cheek, making you look at him. "Does Nate know how you like to be kissed?" he asks in the same low voice, as his fingers dance on your skin. You cannot even answer, before his lips press against yours for a brief second. His hand drops to your stomach, his fingertips pushing the skin there lightly.

He kisses you again, with the same slight pressure that drives you crazy before pulling away. He is barely touching you, yet you can feel him all around you. His cologne is messing with your mind as his warm body steps closer to yours, practically making you sit on the railing. His hand rubs your arm until he is at your fingers, and then pulls your hand up to his lips. His tongue darts out and licks your fingers, before sucking on one like you did before. His teeth nip at the skin, as his eyes never stray away from your eyes. You moan softly as steps closer to you.

He chuckles.

Your heart stops momentarily, hearing the sound you haven't heard in such a long time. The smirk on his face is dangerously sexy as he comes closer to you, his lips back at your ear. "Does Jason know how to make you moan like that?" he whispers huskily, his breath sending tingles up your spine. You shiver again, and he smiles against your skin, kissing the skin to the right of your earlobe. You gasp as pleasure surges through you as he softly sucks on the spot, before abruptly stopping.

He comes back to your face, his nose rubbing against yours, before taking your upper lip between his skillfully. A sudden urge to compete with him rushes through you, as your hands ball up fabric of his shirt and you move your lips against him. "Uh, uh." He shakes his head, his hands coming back to cup your cheeks, successfully pushing you down. Your lips separate again, as he connects your foreheads. "Does Nate know…" he trails off, as his hand travels down your neck to your collarbone to the beginning of your shirt. He faintly traces the space between your breasts, before spreading his hand on your stomach. "That your voice gets higher when you are turned on?" he whispers, his lips pressing onto your collarbone before skimming slightly on your shirt.

Shane's lips pull at your shirt as he slowly falls onto his knees, until his face is at your stomach. You can hardly breathe as he sends butterfly kisses all over, as his hands go to your hips. They squeeze them softly, until one hand slips away to your stomach. You close your eyes as you breathe out harshly, feeling him so much. You almost scream when he cups you, his fingers pressing into your leggings you have under your skirt. Your hands fly to his hair, grabbing the strands hurtfully, as your eyes widen.

"Does Jason know how you taste?" he said throatily, his lips falling dangerously near his hand. His other hand trails to the top of your skirt, his palm pressing down your hipbone as you pant for air. His fingers press into your sex again, and a whimper passes your lips. Your hands immediately go to the bar behind you, trying to stop from falling as his hands go to the top of your leggings, pushing your skirt up.

He pulls at the fabric, cold air hitting your upper thighs, making you moan again. He smirks again, rolling his eyes, as he pushes the tights down your legs, exposing your underwear. You eyes widen again as you try to remember what pair of panties you put on in the haste, your cheeks reddening as he groans and freezes. At camp, you didn't know you would be sleeping with someone, or you would have brought sexier underwear. But now, it is a different story.

"Nice, babe." He says, and you look at him. His eyes are dark with lust as he stares at you in shock, and you look to what you are wearing, barely peeking out from under the pushed up skirt. Lace. Red. Skimpy. Very Skimpy. You suppress a groan. _"That's what happens when you dress in a hurry."_ You think, your cheeks burning harshly, as he cups you again. Another moan escapes from your lips as he presses his fingers against your now less covered sex once more.

He kisses the skin just above the waistline of your panties as his fingers massage your inner thigh. "Oh, God." You whimper, your legs trying to close automatically. He groans as his hands keep your thighs parted, his lips ripping away from your skin. He pulls away, enough to make you throw your head back against the wall in frustration, but only to take off your legging fully. He smirks at your obvious discomfort, as he pushes the skirt up pass your hips. "Shane." You sigh, as his fingers go back to your thighs.

"Does Nate know how to make you say his name like that?" he asks, his mouth going dangerously close to your mound. He blows softly as his fingers rub against the fabric between your thighs. "God, honey, you're so wet." He groans, as you pant at his rubbing of your dampening underwear. His tongue darts out, pushing against the lace, as his teeth try to find your clit. You almost scream again.

He breathes hard on you, as his tongue goes around in circle, making you whimper again. "Mitchie." He says huskily against you, before pulling away enough to see your face. "Say my name again." he orders, his eyes so dark and amazing. Your breath gets stuck in your throat again, and you can't bring yourself to say anything. "Mitchie." He growls, making you shiver with desire again. That is, hands down, the best sound you have ever heard in your life.

You whimper again as he leaves your lower body, rising up to his feet. "I'm sorry." You blurt out pathetically, and he raises an eyebrow. "Please don't stop." You squirm as he puts his hands on your hips lightly. He grits his teeth, before putting his lips on the curve of your neck.

"Say my name." he repeats his command against your skin, and your muscles tighten. You ball up a handful of his shirt again as he slips his hand back between your legs, rubbing everywhere but where you want him to. "Or so help me God, I will stop." He threatens, pushing his lower body against yours. His hard legs feel like steel as step in between yours, and you moan loudly again.

"Shane." You whisper softly through your teeth as you close your eyes. He immediately dips his hand back to your sex, rubbing the dampening covered-slit. You pants as he presses his lips against your neck again.

"Louder." He orders, his voice low and dangerous again.

"Shane." You repeat, throwing your head back, hitting the wall. He trails his fingers up until he finds the waistband again, sliding his fingers inside your underwear. You do scream that time, burying your head in his neck to stifle it. He groans as he feels your wetness and slickness, his fingers caressing your clit softly and teasingly. "Shane! Please." You whimper, your hands digging into his hair again roughly.

He chuckles again, making you shiver, as he pushes his finger in your opening. You open your mouth in a silent scream, tightening your hold on him, as he enters you. "Mmm. You so tight, baby. God, you're so, so tight." He repeats, his breathing coming hard as well as he finally presses his lips against your again. Your fingers pull at his hair not at all gently, pushing him closer to your mouth as he slips another finger in you.

"Shane." You repeat, shaking harshly against him, as he starts to pump his fingers in and out of you so amazingly.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

You almost scream again, but his mouth softens the noise. He slides his tongue inside your mouth as his fingers find a spot inside you that literally make you see a million colors. He pushes roughly on that piece, making you close your eyes roughly. Shane rips his mouth away from yours. "Does Jason or Nate know about that spot?" he asks, the smirk going back to his lips, as you scream again.

Abruptly, his fingers stop moving, and he slips them out. You whimper disappointedly and he gives you a small smile that almost reaches his eyes. You are breathing hard as he kisses you again briefly, before stepping away from you, going back on his knees. He hooks his fingers around the ends of your skimpy, red, lacey underwear and pulls them down carelessly, exposing you to the cold air. You whimper again.

His fingers are back to caressing your slit, before forcing himself inside you. His thumb softly flicks your clit as he pumps his fingers again. "Oh, my God!" you scream, banging your head against the wall as stars explode in front of your eyes. Suddenly, he is moving closer to you, his tongue darting out again, this time touching your clit. That time you really screamed, as his tongue swirls around your nub. Then, he is licking, biting, sucking and nipping at you, making you go closer and closer to the edge.

When he adds another finger, you know you are going to lose it quickly. Your hands go back to his head, fisting his hair, as your muscles start to clench his fingers roughly. He groans as you shake, your legs straining to close as his shoulders keep them open. "Shane. Shane. Shane." You repeat, as you are temporarily blinded, your leg buckling underneath you. He moans as he is hit with your juices, smirking as he kisses your most sensitive spot. You whimper as he pulls away from your sex, kissing your inner thigh before standing again.

The smirk is back on his face when he talks again. "Does Jason or Nate know how to make you cum like that?" he asks, his eyes finally portraying something other than sadness.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	15. Chapter 15

"**In came the girl with the sadden eyes and asked him over again and again, "Was I too weak? Was I a child?" No Girl So Sweet – PJ Harvey**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 15

As soon as he pushes the button back in place, the feelings inside you change immediately. Disgust runs through you as you realize what you just did. The doors open quickly as he smirks at you again, his eyes still bright with deep lust before walking out the elevator. For the first time, you realize just how hard you were gripping the railing as you let go, your soft fingers throbbing. Your cheeks are still bright red and clammy as you numbly remove yourself from the wall.

You can barely move as you push yourself out the small room, your legs heavy. You squirm uncomfortably as the wetness between your legs make a sloshing noise that is extremely loud in your ears. You try to look up to where Shane was heading, but tears rush up to your eyes. Your leggings are itching and bulky, as you tread slowly to where Shane is opening a door. You straighten your skirt shamefully as you pass a window, gulping audibly.

You feel dirty.

You feel like a whore and that's the worst feeling in the world. You sigh as you nervously look to your feet, before turning to see if Shane was still there. He isn't – he is inside, leaving you behind like a meaningless nothing. You blink and stop dead in your tracks, as anger suddenly races through you. You curl your hands into fist as you chew your bottom lip furiously. _Why is sex never important to him?_, you ask yourself, before realizing it _was_ important.

That last day in the hotel room, he told you he loved you as he moved inside you. Maybe he doesn't love you anymore. Maybe you just aren't worth it anymore. Maybe you have become a meaningless fuck. You bite your bottom lip again, as you forcefully make yourself move towards the room. When you get to the slightly opened door, you push it forward, allowing it to make that eerie creaking sound that makes you shiver.

You blink again as you look into what you assume is the living room, noticing right away that Shane is not there. It is beyond huge and beautiful and it takes your breath away. You bite your lip, slightly stunned, as you close the door behind you. You trail your fingers on the wall as you walk to the nearest hallway, seeing an open door and noise coming from it. "Shane?" you call out lightly as you push open the door. You stifle a gasp.

It is dark – so dark. The almost black curtains are drawn closed to the max. The lamp is dim and out of sight. There is a messy bed and a computer, but not much else; even though it is the biggest bedroom you have ever seen. There are quite a few guitars on the bed, with Shane messing around in the closet.

You swallow as you look outside the room to your left. There is a marvelous kitchen that looks extremely expensive and completely unused. Dirty plates line a small table and even the bed as empty pizza boxes tile the floor. Disgust flows through you again, but this time it is for a different reason. You pick up four of the closet pizza boxes, stacking them one on top of the other, when Shane comes out from behind the closet. Internally, you wonder how big this apartment is, but push it away when he raises his eyebrow.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asks as he leans against the wall, and the anger rises up in you again unexplainably. You shake your head, rolling your eyes, as you go back into the kitchen. When you reach for the trash can, you try to shove the pizza boxes down the bag, but there are simply too many for it to fit. "Mitch, stop." He says, rolling his eyes as well, reaching for you. You snap out of his grasp, partly afraid he will get you in another compromising position, partly afraid because you want him to.

"Don't fucking touch me." You blurt out, and you immediately wish you hadn't. His eyes turn dark for the first time since before you entered the elevator, and he glares at you coldly. You shiver again, sighing as you turn back his room, picking up more plates and garbage before going to the garbage. He reaches for you again, but not as tenderly as he did before. Again, you pull out of his hands as you dump the garbage in the can.

He scoffs angrily. "What the fuck, Mitchie?" his eyes light up furiously, as you huff out loudly. "You don't have to do that. I don't want you to." He says, following you as you go back into his bedroom. You ignore him as you go to the curtains, pulling them open harshly. The sunlight blazes the room, illuminating the dark room. Shane groaned, putting a hand to his eyes. "Mitchie! Will you fucking stop?" he whines, exhaustion clear in his voice.

You bite your lip, shaking your head as you barely look at him. You look at a basket full of folded clothes you are sure his mother did for him sitting in the corner, and go to as well. You put the basket on the bed, already reaching for the drawer. You notice Shane tense even more, as he crosses the room quickly, slamming the drawer closed violently. You gasp, fear going up your spine, before looking at him shocked. His eyes are narrow and dark, his hand curled tightly against the drawer. "What the hell, Shane?" you ask stunned.

He sighs, almost shakily. "You can't just come to my apartment, and become the fucking _wife!_ Okay. You can't just throw stuff away and go through my things, Mitchie!" he scolds you. He wants to hurt you, but you can see through it. You blink at him, before crossing your arms. The guilt in his eyes, the shakiness in his confidence, the fierceness in his eyes.

You narrow your eyes at him. "What are you hiding, Shane?" you ask almost inaudibly, but he understands you. He flinches, not meeting your eyes anymore. "Shane?" you whisper, putting a hand on his waist while putting the other on top of his hand that is closing the drawer shut.

"Mitchie." He says bitterly, almost coldly. His hand grips the drawer tighter.

"What are you hiding? What's in there?" you ask again, coming closer to him.

"Nothing." He says briskly, his lips tight. You can see in his eyes the… fear? He is afraid of you finding out what is inside the drawer. He doesn't want you finding out. Your nails dig into his hand, and he winces softly, glaring harder.

"Shane." You say again, getting angry again. You hate that he doesn't trust you anymore.

"Mitchie." He repeats as well, his eyes becoming more intense with anger and fear. You take your hand off his, and try to open the door again but his he slams it shut again. "Stop it." He orders fiercely and you try to open the drawer again. He growls, his muscles strengthening as he keeps a strong hand on the drawer. "I said stop it!" he says louder, his voice cracking at the end. You shake your head at him, turning your body towards the drawer.

"Why won't you tell me what's inside?" you groan as he turns himself so that he is behind you, still gripping the drawer roughly. "What? You have Playboy or something? Whatever. I don't care." you argue, but he doesn't answer. You feel his hard body press into your back as his other hand goes around you to also keep the drawer shut. You sigh again, closing your eyes disappointedly.

"Look, can you just walk away, please." He says, his voice hoarse and rough. You nod defeatedly, taking step backwards into his arms. "I'm gonna let go. You will not look. Promise?" he tells you in your ear, making you bite your lip.

Maybe he does trust you.

You nod, and he hesitantly lets go of the drawer, stepping back slightly. His arms immediately circle around your waist, pulling you with him and out the room. He shuts the door behind him as he pushes you towards the kitchen. You sigh as you sink into a seat at the dining room table, before looking at him. "Christ, Mitchie. You just can't mind your own fucking business." He yells, his eyes bright. It takes you a second to realize they are brimming with tears. Your angry expression softens slightly as you frown. "God." He groans, sitting in a seat far from you.

He puts his head in his hands, pulling at his shaggy hair roughly. "What's in the drawer, Shane?" you repeat on last time, and he groans angrily. He turns back to you, his eyes piercing, and the two of you maintain eye contact for awhile. You bite your lip, narrowing your eyes at him. Should you or shouldn't you? You can feel your heart start to beat faster, as you decide to do it. It will probably get you killed, but at least you will know what's inside.

With a burst of adrenaline, you push yourself off the chair and start to run. It's like Shane knew what you were thinking, because he immediately springs into action behind you. Your eyes widen as your feet make harsh noises on the carpet, as he reaches out for you, barely missing you. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he yells behind you as you step in the room, swiftly closing the door to his bedroom in his face. "Mitchie!" he yells, pushing against the door. You push just as hard on the door, trying to lock it. Your heart is now beating faster and harder, as you finally do. "You're such a fucking bitch." He screams, pounding on the door, almost in defeat.

Guilt quickly fills you as you look around his empty and now lighted room. You leave the door after a few seconds, going straight to the drawer. "You know I have keys to my own bedroom, right?" he yells, as you hear him fumble around looking for them. Your breath quickens as you close your eyes before opening the drawer. When you open your eyes, your heart breaks into a million pieces. Your eyes go over every item in the drawer, eyes filling up with tears.

He finally gets the door opened, but you barely notice. You just look at him tragically. "Oh, Shane." You whimper, putting a hand to your forehead. His eyes turn from furious to ashamed in seconds, as he looks down immediately. You turn back to the drawer, looking at the many razors and bottles of peroxide thrown carelessly in there. Suddenly, your eyes catch something in the corner, and you gasp softly.

You shake your head, ashamed for him, as you pull out the small bag from the corner. You grip it in your hand, before turning back to Shane. He was still looking on the floor, chewing his bottom lip violently. "What is this, Shane?" you ask in a low voice, completely disappointed in him. He looks up briefly to look at what you are holding, before turning away again. "Shane! What the fuck is this!" you yell louder, your eyes blazing. He flinches, glaring back at you.

"Who do the fuck do you think you are? You can't just come in here and go through my things." He repeats again, trying to take control of the situation. You shake your head pointedly, squeezing the bag in your hand harder. He sighs angrily. "Ugh, look, I only tried it once. It was a stressful-ass day, and it didn't exactly turn out well. God, it was such a long time ago too and…" he said trailing off, taking a big breath. "It's none of your business anyways." he finishes, his cheeks red.

You just shake your head again as tears rush to your eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't have interfered with your mother's plans. Maybe she realized you are going crazy Shane, and you need help." You say hoarsely, angry at yourself. Shane scoffs, his eyes widening as disbelief enters your face.

"I'm not crazy-" he starts, but you cut him off.

"Shane, you have a drawer filled with razors and drugs." You scream, holding the bag up, the white powder bright. He flinches again, but doesn't answer. Tears bubble in his eyes again, and suddenly, he's crying. You don't know what to do, so you purse your lips at him. Silence quickly overcomes the both of you, making you sigh frustratedly. Unexpectedly the front door opens, scaring you and making you jump. You immediately throw the bag of cocaine in the drawer, shutting it quickly as Shane tries wipe his eyes roughly.

"Shane?" Jason's voice rings out, and you swallow harshly as you try to push pass Shane. He grabs you gently, his eyes bright with tears again.

"Please, don't say anything. I haven't done any drugs since that one time, and you can take all the razors away. I won't… I won't try anything again. I won't. I promise." He begs, his voice touching hysteria again. you look at him with lower eyebrows, trying to figure him out. On one hand he is confident and extremely sexual, and on the other, he is just a scared little boy. "Please, Mitchie. I'll do anything. Just don't tell." He says, slightly shaking.

You put a hand on his waist to calm him down. "Shh, babe. It's okay. I won't tell, but as soon as we're alone again, all that is going in the trash." You say as fiercely as you can without breaking down. You hear Jason move around more, before you hear another voice in the mix.

"They're probably having sex. That's what Mitchie and Shane do." The voice said sarcastically. "No pun intended." He added in an afterthought. You roll your eyes, wiping your cheeks before entering the hallway to the living room. There an annoyed Jason and an angry Nate waits, both turning to you when you clear your throat.

"Actually, we were just talking. See, we can do that as well. I know. We're _seriously_ multitalented." You say just as sarcastically, except a bitter edge drops into your voice as well. You glare at Nate as he winces, and Jason raises his eyebrow. An awkward silence settles until Shane walks in, the red still in his eyes and face.

"What do you guys want?" he asks roughly, his voice hoarse. Nate looks away from, burning a hols in the floor. Jason sighs, shrugging slightly.

"The label wants to talk to all of us. Plus, we might set up a press conference, and apparently, you need to talk to a magazine." He says uncomfortably, shuffling slightly. Shane scoffs, anger burning in his eyes. you wince and Nate jumps when he knocks everything on a table to the ground. The noise vibrates through the hall, as the three of you stare at Shane as he screams anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me? These assholes really can't leave me alone!" he yells, and no one answers him. Everyone stays silent as he breaks down on a chair, his head back in his hands. "It's like I… God, I can't do this anymore. I need to fucking get away, or I will fucking succeed. I need solace so badly." He yells, but is muffled by his hands. No one moves, until you hear him start sobbing. Immediately, you go to him, putting your hands on his shoulders.

You kneel down, pushing his hair back softly. "Hey, hey. It's okay. If you really do not want to do it, no one's forcing you." you say gently, and he looks up at you. his eyes are filled with tears again, but you brush them away. "Forget about them, okay. I'm here. If sex is the only way to get you back to normal, so be it." You joke pathetically, but the fierceness in your eyes lets him know it can be true if he needs it. He reaches for you, burying you against him chest harshly. "I love you, Shane." You whisper in his ear, as you circle your arms around his waist.

That makes him start sobbing harder as he holds you, but you never let go. Things will get better.

**XXX**


	16. Chapter 16

"**I need some meaning I can memorize." Lover I Don't Have To Love – Bright Eyes**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 16

You run your hands through his hair soothingly as he sleeps. He looks peaceful, but you know he is going through too much inside. His head is rested on your lap, while his arms are around your lower body tightly. It's an uncomfortable position, but you wouldn't give it up for the world. It's almost like you're holding each other, scared the other will disappear any second. You breathe out sadly as you eyes catch the tight bandages around his wrist again.

"Oh, Shane." You whisper shakily, closing your eyes. You lean your head against the wall, trying to move your leg off the bed to put it in a more comfortable position. You think of how far the two of you have come. It feels like a life time ago you were squealing that Shane Gray would be teaching you. You run your hands through his hair again, and he moans in his sleep. You let out a breath as the urge to go to the bathroom hits you.

Very carefully, you take his head off your lap and onto the pillow. He groans as you make him let go of you. "Don't leave." He mumbles, and you look at him surprised. You lean in and kiss his cheek, as his hands circle around your waist, pulling you to him. You sigh and bury your head in his shoulders.

"Shay, I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be back okay." You promise. For a second, you think Shane will not let you go, but he finally loosens his hands. "I'll be right back. Go back to sleep." You tell him, pushing his hair back tenderly. He sighs, but sinks deeper in the pillow. You move quickly off the bed, trying not to make too much noise as you go down the unfamiliar hallway. As you step in the bathroom, you reach into your pocket absentmindedly.

There, you find your cell phone, making you wince. You wonder just how many times your mother has called you in the last couple days. You turn on the phone, waiting impatiently as it loads, while going to the toilet. When it finally goes to the home page, you wait a second before the screen lights up, almost screaming at you.

Seventeen missed calls. Fifteen text messages. Ten voicemails.

"Shit." You curse under your breath as you look at your mother's name over and over again. Going to the text messages, you find that most are from Sierra. _"Hey M. You're mom doesn't know where you are. Call me okay. We're worried. S." _Quickly change to, _"So you're mom called. She said ur at Shane fucking Gray's house. I told her she was crazy and that he is famous and why the fuck would he be talking to you, and then she told me oh, Mitchie and Shane know each other from CR… Thanks for telling me BEST friend!!! I feel so amazing. God, what the fuck are you doing with Shane GRAY!! Didn't he try to commit suicide? Will you fucking TEXT me!!! S. _

You sigh and bite your lip, guilt entering you as you realize you never told Sierra anything about what happened. You keep scrolling down the text messages until you see another name mixed in with Sierra's and your mom's: Caitlyn's. You swallow harshly as you open the message, slightly scared about what it will say.

"_Mitchie, it's Caity. I heard about what happened, and I wanted to say I am so sorry. I love you girl, and I know you love him, so I know this must be killing you. Just know that even though we haven't really talked, I'm here for you and I love you. Call me, Mitch, if you ever just wanna talk. I'll be there anytime, any day. Love, Cait._

That makes you cry. The stress and the yelling are finally hitting you. You don't even realize you are doing calling her until you hit the send button. "Hello?" the voice on the other line says, exhaustion and attitude obvious. You swallow hard, feeling guilty and tired.

"Caitlyn." You whisper, sniffing softly. You immediately hear her move around quickly.

"Mitchie? Is that you? Where are you? Are you okay?" Caitlyn says rather quickly. You try to smile at her concern and hyperness, but it only makes you cry harder.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm at Shane's. In California, I guess." You say, ignoring her last question. You hear her take in a sharp breath, but you don't blame her. It must have been quite scandalous at Camp Rock after both Shane and you unceremoniously just left, not including your mother as well.

"Wow." She breathes out, stunned. "Is he okay? What happened?" she says, in a low voice. You feel like laughing for some reason. You have always thought it was funny how people speak softly when they address something bad. It's like they are trying to make it less apparent or something.

"He's fine now. He's going crazy, you know? He can't handle it anymore, I guess. I can't say I blame him." You say the last part softly, almost as an afterthought. Caitlyn breathes in sharply again, but you don't let her talk. "I just don't know what to do. I feel so stupid and… I feel like he did it because of me, yet here I am like nothing happened. What's gonna happen when my mom forces me back to Jersey? What's he gonna do? Commit suicide? Go back to drugs? Drink? God, Cait, I don't know what to do!" you blurt out, slightly rambling, definitely crying.

You didn't mean to say as much as you did, but you couldn't help it. You need a friend. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say." She mutters uncomfortably. You feel like laughing again; you knew she wasn't going to say anything productive. You just wish she would have.

"It's okay, Cait. I'm fine. Whatever." You dismiss it. You hear her start to protest, but you are already talking again. "Listen, I haveta go. I'm sorry." You say quickly, before slamming the phone shut. You wipe your eyes as you turn it off again, before hiding it in your pocket again. You wash your hands, before going back out into the unfamiliar hallway. You groan from exhaustion and hunger, but turn back to Shane's bedroom.

A melody stops you in your tracks, and you involuntarily turn around towards the noise, noticing that it is from a piano. You move towards what you think is the living room quietly, your hands softly touching the wall in front of you. You freeze when you hear a voice mix in with the melody, realizing right away who it was. "But you don't know what you've got till it's gone. And you don't know what's it like to feel so low." He sings very gently.

You swallow harshly, the thought suddenly coming to you that you and Shane are not the only ones suffering because of this. You walk until the end of the hallway, glancing behind the wall over to where Nate was playing the piano. Your heart breaks at the sight of him. Sure, he can be blunt, and sure, he called you a whore, but it doesn't make him less of a kid. He's not even sixteen years old, and his older brother tried to commit suicide. Plus, he's messing around with you – an underage girl.

He's just trying to do the right thing.

Nate's voice starts to crack as he sings, until he just cannot anymore. Tears are running down the boy's face as he slams his fingers on the piano loudly, before breaking down completely. Guilt immediately goes through you as you realize you just witness a very private moment. As quietly as you can, you turn around and go back to Shane's room. You close the door behind you as quietly as you can, hardly looking at the bed as your eyes fill with tears.

"What took you?" Shane's voice rings out, and you snap your head up to look at him. He is wide awake, looking straight at you. Shivering slightly, you swiftly move unto the bed, almost diving into his arms. He tenses up as you grab hold of him violently, before sobbing into his shoulder. "Whoa! Mitch, what's wrong?" he asks, alarmed as his arms tighten around your body. You don't answer him; you just cry. He sighs as his hand starts to rub your back lightly. "Shh. It's okay." He whispers, kissing your cheek.

"I can't de-deal wi-with this anym-more, Shane." You stutter, pulling your head away from his body slightly. His breath hitches in his throat, and he raises an eyebrow. He thinks you mean with him. You feel like laughing again. Just because you left him once, doesn't mean will ever again. "I mean… it hurts so much, you know? I just… I can't keep with this depression." You say, verging on hysterical as you cry in his arms. He pursues his lips, his eyes brightening with tears.

"I know, baby. I know." He states simply, kissing your cheek softly before untangling himself from you. You groan as you try to pull him back to bed, already missing the warmth, but he ignores you. He goes to his laptop, before bringing it over and lying back down with you. You immediately latch back onto him, as he turns on the computer. You watch wordlessly in confusion as the screen lights up, indicating its need for a password.

"What's your password?" you ask absentmindedly, as you lay your head on his chest. He tenses slightly, making you blush. "I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me." You mumble embarrassedly, as you dig your head down on his body. He puts his arm around you, shaking his head.

"It's okay. Whatever" he mutters, putting his head on top of yours. You watch as the screen lights up again with his homepage. Your eyes widen at the picture illuminating the room, as he opens the internet. The picture is just of the band. Just those three boys, but it is so powerful and beautiful. He – they – look so happy and carefree. Shane's smile is genuine. Nate looks young. Jason looks amazed.

What happened to that? Why did they change?

"It's ms5secret." He whispers suddenly, making you jump. You look at him confused, but he won't meet your eye. It dawns at you after a while; it was his password. Ms5secret. Mitchie Shane secret. You close your eyes, and snuggle closer to him.

"What are you doing?" you ask after awhile. Your eyes are still closed, but you know he is doing something.

"I'm buying tickets to Hawaii." He says, sighing a little bit. "Do you have your passport on you?" he asks as you snap open your eyes. You sit up, looking at him stunned with your mouth wide opened.

"Shane." You scoff out surprised. He looks at you puzzled at your tone. "You can't just buy tickets to Hawaii. Do you even realize that my mom would never allow that? I have school, Shane." You remind him pointedly.

He rolls his eyes, but you can see the exhaustion behind them. "Look, I'll talk to her. Plus, I told you already that I have Nate's tutor. I'll just steal her for a while. Nate won't mind, I promise." He says, before turning back to the screen. You go to say something, but he interrupts you. "Hawaii will be good for us. For me. For you. We both need to start over. We're too… something. We just need to get over it, and start new. Plus, Hawaii's beautiful." He justifies, shrugging a bit.

He tries to get you back into his arms, but you resist. "Shane, my mom and dad will never allow that." You repeat, but this time he doesn't answer back. You sigh, and turn away from him to focus on the screen. He's buying two first class tickets for tomorrow morning. "Oh, God." You moan, closing your eyes as he reaches over to the nightstand next to him for his wallet. He takes out his credit card and starts to type in the numbers. "You can get arrested, Shane." You say softly, almost defeatedly.

You feel him tense again. "You're sixteen, Mitchie. You are legally allowed to drop out of school, even though you're not technically doing that. You're mom will understand." He says firmly, before sighing. "She has to understand." He mutters sadly. Running a hand through your hair, you lean back into his arms.

"It's not just my mom, you know? It's my dad too." You say, your voice turning slightly bitter. He tightens his hold on you, and you immediately realize he remembered what you told him a million years ago.

"Yeah, whatever happened to that? Are they… did he… was he cheating?" he asks, struggling with his word. You don't answer him, but rather just shrug. You feel your body stiffen as your mind goes to all the times you have witness your father coming home late. "I'm sorry." Shane apologizes uncomfortably.

You shrug your shoulders again. "There's nothing to be sorry about." You tell him as he finishes putting in his information. Grabbing the computer, you start to type in your data as well, completely over the fact your mother can stop you. "I have my passport." You tell him as he stays silent.

"Okay." He whispers lightly. The two of you stay in complete silence, until you are done. He takes the computer form you and finishes buying the tickets. "Do you have any clothes?" he asks, but doesn't let you talk. "Never mind. I'll buy you clothes there." He says, closing the laptop and putting it on the table. You frown.

"Shane, you don't have to buy me anything." You remind him, but he just shrugs. He moves around until you are lying back down next to each other. He puts his hands on your waist, turning you around so that you are looking at him. He leans in and kisses your lip lightly, pulling your bottom lip.

You gasp softly, as it's the first time he's kissed you on your lips for hours, allowing him to slip his tongue in. the warmth he provides sucks you in until you are pushing him closer to you. His warm hands push your shirt up gently, making you almost hyperventilate. You know he has touched you a bunch of times in the last couple days, but it stills seems like forever since the last time. His hands feel so warm and hot as they trail up your body. He softly cups your left breast, pulling your nipple in between his fingers.

You moan in his mouth, but pull his hand down. You gently push him away. He immediately separates from you, his face confused. "What the hell, Mitchie?" he says, his tone hurt. You wince and mold your hand on his cheek lightly. You reach up and give him a chaste kiss, before pulling away again.

"We can't do this again." you tell him sadly, not meeting his eye. He scoffs and pulls away from you even more.

"What do you mean we can't do this?" he asks sharply. You wince again, as you sit up, never looking at him. He pushes your chin up not very tenderly, making you flinch away from him. He glares at you as anger soars through your veins.

"Well, first off, Shane, I'm not exactly on birth control because… of what happened." You say furiously before breaking off slightly at the end. He winces visibly as you continue. "Second, we're not doing the whole sex thing again, so that we can get hurt in the end again. God, Shane, don't you realize how huge sex really is? It's not a game." You say frustratedly, and he scoffs angrily.

"Oh really? It's not a fucking game? Wow, Mitch, thanks for fucking telling me." He says sarcastically. "It's not like it's an expression of how I feel or anything. Jeeze." He snaps, turning away from you angrily. He crosses his arms as he faces the wall, making you bite your lip with guilt. You wait a couple seconds before running your hand through his hair again. He tenses as soon as he does, but you don't blame him.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. It's just… I don't wanna _that_ to happen again." you say swallowing harshly at the memory. He sighs and pauses, before turning over to look at you again. He looks at you for a while before answering.

"Mitchie, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you again." he whispers, brushing your hair back softly. You smile at his … naïveté? You nod, even though you know that what happened wasn't his fault or because he didn't protect you enough. It just happened. He sighs again. "Look, if you don't want to have sex, just tell me." He tells you, biting his lip. You roll your eyes, pushing his shaggy hair back.

"I don't wanna have sex?" you say, scoffing slightly. "Do you know how amazing you look? God, your abs are to die for. Your hands are amazing. Your…" you trail off as your eyes darken. He raises his eyebrows at you silently. You close your eyes as your hands clench into a fist, before laughing sardonically. "You think I don't wanna have sex? No, hon, I do. I just know I can't, but I also know you are the only one to make me forget that little fact." You say, gulping slightly. Your eyes are still dark with lust, and you can see his eyes narrowing as well.

He still doesn't say anything, but rather just looks at you. You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down before chuckling again. "God, I let you… do that in an elevator! Jesus Christ Shane! You could probably get me to have sex with you anywhere, anytime." You hear his smirk, before you see it. His eyes darken with smug lust, as he pulls you close to him again. His lips immediately latch onto yours, before you break away again. "Just please don't." you beg, smiling slightly.

He groans, but nods. You nod as well, before diving back into his arms. It's almost a perfect fit – your bodies. It makes you feel safe and comfortable, making you blurt out those stupid eight letters again. "I love you." you say, instantly regretting it. You don't want the silence or the tensing or the sighs. You expect it anyways, and wait for it. But it never comes.

Instead, he nuzzles his nose in your hair, kissing you softly. "I love you too, Mitchie." He whispers lightly, his hold tightening again as he pulls the cover over the two of you. This time you tense, looking at him stunned. "I promise I won't seduce you into having sex with me." He mocks, as he closes his eyes.

You don't answer.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	17. Chapter 17

"**Without a reason, what is this fire?" Desire – Ryan Adams**

AN: HOLY SHIT! JOE LOOKED FUCKING FINE AT THE KCA'S. THIS IS FOR HIM… God, I wish I was Mitchie!!!!

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 17

It is the way his eyes look almost green that sets you off. He is wearing a simple white shirt and a common leather jacket, but you stop in your tracks as soon as you see him. The necklace on him taunts you, as it touches skin you want to touch oh so much. His hair, still damp from the shower, is wavy and falling into his eyes in a way you have never seen before. He looks like the guy you used to idolize when you were fourteen, and the guy you have secretly wanted him to be since you were fifteen.

You gulp as he raises his arms, stretching out his tense muscles, and a slip of skin becomes noticeable. His hip bone juts out as he yawns, the white of his skin almost as light of the shirt. The thinnest slip of his blue boxers is present just above his skin tight black jeans, and you still cannot move.

The wind from the open window picks up slightly, winnowing through his curly hair, making him look like a model. For a second, you cannot breathe. Your heart is beating so fast. You mouth is wide open. Your palms are sweaty. "Mitchie?" his voice rings out like bells, as he looks at you pointedly. You suck in a deep breath, before covering your face with the covers and turning over, blushing hard. You can almost hear his smirk, but he doesn't say anything about it. "Are you excited to go to Hawaii? Have you ever been?" he asks even though he already knows the answer, coming close to you.

His smell, a mixture of soap and cinnamon, hits you hard as he sits next to you in bed. His hand goes to your lower back, making you tense up. You can almost feel the space between your legs pulsate harshly, most definitely staining your underwear. You gulp harshly, breathing in his faded smell in the pillow, as you chide yourself. You just made him stop yesterday because you realized that sex is a bad thing.

Yet, right now, you want to fuck him so badly.

You want to scream. You knew you had to stop yesterday; so why the hell can you not think about something else today. "Baby, are you going to take a shower?" he asks after a while of silence from your part. His hand is still on your lower back, softly rubbing the spot with slight pressure. His fingers would occasionally touch your burning skin, making your squeeze your thighs closer together.

"Yeah." You croak out, before clearing your throat loudly. You raise your head from the pillow, and make the mistake of looking at him again. The smirk on his face makes your eyes darken, and you want to kiss him so badly. You want to touch his perfect skin, and run your lips all over his body. You want to slip your hands to a place no one, but you, has ever touched him. You want to feel his entire length all around you, going in and out. In and out. In and out.

You want to fuck him. God, you want to fuck him.

Every time your eyes glance at him, you feel like squealing. Or dying. "Mitchie?" he questions, his eyebrows lowering at you. The blush comes straight to your cheeks again, as you kick the covers off you awkwardly. Your legs are quivering as you try to get off the bed as quickly as you can without falling.

"Yeah, ye-ah. I'm-I'm going." You stammer, your eyes trying so hard not to look at him, but failing. You wish you could just stare forever, and after a second, you realize you are staring. You close your eyes embarrassedly, as your breath goes out quicker and quicker. You jump almost a foot in the air when his fingers lightly touch your burning cheeks, tracing down to your lips. You open your eyes again, still shivering, and notice his light-brown-almost-green eyes are almost black.

His finger pulls down on your lip softly, to the point where you can taste his skin. "You look like you want to be fucked pretty hard right now, baby." He says in a low sexy tone. His voice sounds smooth, but coarse, making you shiver again. It takes you a second to scoff at his _absurd _statement, trying very hard to look like you are offended. He smirks, a hint of a seductive smile reaching his full lips, before coming very close to you. His sweet breath tickles your ear as he leans in, his cheek brushing yours sensually. "But that can't be it. Right, honey? After all, you're the one who decided we should slow down with the sex." He says alluringly, his fingers tracing your chin.

You gulp and push him away, sending him a fake smile as you clamp your thighs harder together. "I have to take a shower." You tell him, jumping off the bed quickly. He laughs, making your heart stop. His laugh is so beautifully rare that it always makes you breathe harder, but now, it just adds to your frustration.

"Yeah, a cold one." He mocks, throwing you another smug smirk before giving you a full fledge smile. You almost trip as you open the door to the bathroom, slamming it right away. You fall to the ground, your legs almost glued together, as you try to slow down your breathing.

You feel like screaming again. It's driving you crazy. Your legs keep shaking. Your eyes glaze over. Your stomach fills like it's gonna explode. You want to go back there. You want him to touch you. You want to touch him.

You want to fuck him.

You run your hands through your hair, before standing up and turning on the shower. You honestly have no idea why you feel the way you do; all you know is that you feel it. It's like all the depression and all the regrets and all the memories fly out the window when you are turned on. You can't believe what you are thinking, but it comes to you that maybe having sex makes you happy.

"_No!"_ you tell yourself fiercely, almost angrily. Sex is not the answer to your happiness; it's the cause of your depression. It's what caused everything bad that has happened. Right?

XXX

You didn't know Shane had a private jet, but considering how famous he is, it doesn't surprise you. He has added a scarf to his ensemble, and you've never wanted to choke his pretty little neck more than you do right now. Your mouth is still a little dry, and you have to constantly remind yourself not to get caught staring at him. "We could always join the mile high club?" Shane teases you, smiling at you.

You try to compose yourself before answering. "The what club?" you ask innocently, still too dazed to fully understand what he is saying. Shane laughs again, shaking his head, before looking out the same window.

"Never mind." He says amused, before crossing his arms to get comfortable. You watch as his shirt rides up again, showing some of his abs. you clear your throat, looking away.

"So…" you trail off slightly, rubbing your hands together to keep them busy. "We're on a flight that will take forever. We should talk." You suggest, even though you really want to do something else with him. He doesn't answer you verbally, but he does nod, waving you to start. You clear your throat, as your eyes catch the white bandages on his wrist. Suddenly, the desire takes a back seat. "Shay, you're okay, right?" you ask, concern seeping into your husky voice.

He furrows his eyebrows, giving you a strange look. "Yeah, Mitch, I'm fine." He answers, yawning slightly. "I can't wait to get to Hawaii though. We'll stop at a local mall to get you clothes and such as soon as we get there, okay?" he says, putting his heavy hand on your knee. He squeezes it tightly, making your sex scream again. You cough and blush again, before looking away from his knowing eyes.

"You don't have to." You mumble, obviously embarrassed. Shane shrugs his shoulders, before sinking in the seat again. After a while, Shane falls asleep, and you are free to look at him without eyes looking back. He looks so beautiful and god-like. You run your hand through his hair softly as he moans in his sleep, making you take in a sharp intake of breath. You bite your lip as you trace his cheek, your mind running wild with random thoughts. Suddenly, you stop imagining him entering you when one thought comes straight to your head.

_I wonder what our child would have looked like._

You have no idea why you thought it, but you did. Your breath gets stuck in your throat. Your heart drops. Suddenly, the memories come flying back to you, tired of their vacation. When you in the shower with Shane, seeing the first signs of blood. The blood. All the blood. The hospital. Nate yelling. Your mom accusing. Shane crying. All the blood. All the pain.

Tears go straight to your eyes, as you try to close them tightly to get rid of that memory. It's too hard however, and it's like a sharp knife that keeps stabbing you over and over again. You had a miscarriage, and you are seriously obsessing over sex?

You are a whore.

It doesn't take long before you are sobbing again. You try to be quiet as to not wake up Shane, but you really wish it would wake him up. In the end, it doesn't. You see it as both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it hurts you that you didn't have to lean on; on the other, you're glad he didn't see your moment of weakness. Hawaii is supposed to rehabilitate you two, not bring you down even worst.

He wakes up an hour later, eyes squinting and opening and closing rapidly. He yawns again, raising his arms high above his head to stretch. This time, you make sure to look away as his shirt lifts. "Hey. Why did you let me fall asleep? We were gonna talk." He says exhaustedly, rubbing his neck to get rid of the tension.

"It's okay, Shane. You're tired. Go back to sleep." You say monotone. You don't even look at him as you talk; your eyes still stinging. You hear a soft intake of breath from him, obviously hurt by your tone. He shuffles in his seat, putting his hand back on your knee. You move around uncomfortably, but he doesn't move his hand at all.

"What's wrong?" he asks, and you wonder how he knows something's wrong. As you bite your lip, he puts his hand under your chin, forcing you to look at him. As soon as he sees your red eyes, his nostrils flare and his hand balls into a fist. "Mitchie? What happened?" he questions, his tone almost dark. He is looking at you with such intensity, you look away almost immediately.

"Nothing." You mumble, shrugging uncomfortably. His hand abruptly leaves your chin, slightly hurting you. "Ow. Shane." You whine, pouting, trying to change the mood. When you glance at him, you notice the serious glare he is giving you. It makes you suck in sharply, before looking away again.

"I hate it when you do that." He says in a low and dangerous voice. He is angry – that much you know. You mumble and shrug your shoulders again, but nothing is really said from your part. He scoffs, putting his hand hurtfully on your thigh. He squeezes it with one hand completely encasing it, and you moan uneasily, shuffling again. "You always argue with me that I never let you in. you're always telling me to trust you. You always tell me you are so in love with me, so I'm safe with you." he says in the same voice, except with every word he manages to get more serious.

"Shane-" you try to say, but he cuts you off with another squeeze of your thigh.

"And yet, you're the one who never lets me in. You're the one who keeps secrets. You're the one who runs away." He accuses, his voice rough and sharp. Tears spring to your eyes as you try focus on the wall in front of you. "Not me." He snaps, letting go of your thigh violently. You let out a soft sob, pulling your leg up to your body. He scoffs again, anger still present. "You're unbelievable, Mitchie. You expect so much from me, but you never give anything in." he throws out, rolling his eyes furiously.

Anger sours in you, as you try to stop your leg from bouncing. "I never give anything in? I ran away for you!" you yell at him, emotions obvious in your voice.

"You ran away _from_ me, Mitchie!" he reminds you, fury in his voice as well. Suddenly, the two of you are glaring at each other, with his hands balling into fists again. You shake your head, tears running down your cheek.

"You don't understand what I was going through that day. I was so lost and hurt, Shane. I just lost something I didn't even realize I had. Don't you get that?" you say, your eyes intense as you yell. He freezes, looking away from you, but you still see the pain flash in his eyes. "That's what I was crying about just now, Shane. The miscarriage. The blood. The pain." You tell him, your voice breaking with emotions.

He sighs as you begin to cry again. "Is that what you want to hear, Shane? Me telling you the horrifying memory again and again, just so you will be satisfied? Christ, Shane." You spit out, putting your other leg up. He moves closer to you, putting his arm around your body lightly.

"I'm sorry, Mitchie. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" he trails off, his voice soft as he rubs your shoulder. You can tell he is trying to keep his voice even and without anger. He nuzzles his nose in your neck, his scent hitting you harshly again. "I'm a jackass. I'm sorry." He whispers in your ear, making you tense.

"No you're not. I am." You mutter back, guilt entering your voice. "You're right." You say gently, before digging your head in his shoulder. Shane sighs, rubbing your back again. When he leans back a little, you are faced with the most beautiful boy you have ever seen. He looks so amazingly beautiful, that it breaks your heart.

"Come here." He says softly, his voice smooth again. He pulls you close to him, so that he is back in his seat and you are half way on top of him. Suddenly, he is singing to you. "Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry, call I'm desperate for your voice. Listening to the song we used to sing in the car. Do you remember, butterfly? Early summer, it's playing on repeat. Just like when we would meet. Like when we would meet." He sings, his voice gentle as he comforts you.

You close your eyes, as you sink deeper in his body. When you open them again, it is because he is shaking you awake. You are met with his light brown eyes, as he nudges you softly. "Baby, we're about to land." He says, not looking you in the eyes. You nod, but don't say anything. It doesn't take long before you're on the ground again, and it doesn't take long for you to exit the airport.

Unlike LA where there are millions of people following your every move, there is only one: the guy grabbing your bags for you. Shane tells them to bring them to hotel you have never heard of, but is probably huge and grand because he likes that. Then, he is pulling your hand, intertwining your fingers, to guide you to a large black SUV just outside. You gulp, but get in the car anyways.

For once, he is driving, instead of someone else. It's refreshing, but you don't know why. Maybe because it makes him seem more normal. You cannot help but stare again at him, even with the guilt inside you. He is such a beautiful boy. His hand in curled around the steering wheel tightly, emphasizing the muscles in his arm. Then necklace on his neck swings lightly, until you cannot help but wonder what it is.

"Shay…I'm sorry." You choke out, but he doesn't say anything. He just looks at you, his eyes still light, and nods. You stay quiet for a while as he drives through the roads. Suddenly, you remember you are in Hawaii. You look around, looking at all the palm trees and mountains and the light blue ocean on either side of you. You gasp. "Wow." You breathe out, your eyes looking at everything.

Shane smiles. "Yeah, it's beautiful, huh?" he says, glancing at you. You can't take your eyes off the ocean to look at him, so you just mumble a yes. He turns unexpectedly to another street, but the ocean is still there, soft and deep. "I'm sorry too, Mitchie." He whispers, biting his lip. You nod, just like he did, and don't say anything.

"Where are we going?" you ask, as he goes on a different street.

Shane sighs, rolling his eyes. "I only told you like fifteen times. To the store to get you clothes. I know how to get there, baby." He says, shaking his head mockingly. You roll you eyes, tired of telling him he doesn't have to buy you anything.

XXX

"Shane, I can't wear this." You say, rolling your eyes before throwing the red fabric down. He immediately picks it back up, his hands pushing you towards the dressing room. "Shane." You whine somewhat as he makes you go into the small room with him.

"Just try it on Mitch." He says, making you sigh exasperatedly. You give him a pointed look, as you take the bikini from him. He sighs, but leaves the room. You awkwardly put on the bright red tiny bathing suit, and instantly don't like it. It makes you look too curvy and open, if that makes sense.

When you get out of the fitting room, it's his pose that makes you stop dead in your tracks for the second time since this morning. He is leaning against the wall, with one foot up against it. His hair fell in front of his eyes, as he tries to push it out. His jeans are especially tight today, outlining everything he possesses. You clear your throat softly, putting an arm in front of your stomach uncomfortably.

As soon as he looks at you, his eyes darken and his mouth twists in a smirk. "Wow, you cannot wear that in public. Ever." He says, as his eyes travel up and down your body sensually. "Honey." He groans, biting his lip sexually. You shiver and turn around uneasily, back into the fitting room. "Need help taking it off, sweetheart?" he calls out, amusingly. You shake as you lean against the closed door, your thighs clamping together again.

"You're such a whore, Mitchie." You whisper to yourself. "Sex is bad, and yet I need it so bad." You cry together, as you sit on the seat available. You chide yourself, as you glue your legs together. Gulping, you pull your clothes back on, taking off the small bikini. When you go back out, Shane is waiting with all the other clothes he is going to get you.

"Ready?" he says, holding out his hand. You hesitate before you intertwine your fingers again, throwing the bikini back on the shelf. He laughs before taking it again. His eyes are light as they look at you, lust obviously in his eyes. "Nah uh. I said not in public, but with me?" he says with a smile, throwing the fabric in the cart. You give him a look and he laughs again, making you smile. You're finally good again. You can breathe again. You're happy again.

Too bad, nothing good ever stays good…

**XXX**

**HEY! Thanks for everything… I love you guys. My friends got me tickets to July 14****th****… tell me if you're going. Lol. **

**By the way, I feel so bad for Miley. Is her confidence that broken? Jeeze, the media sucks.**

**Anyways, I love you again.**

**Sandy**

**PS- wow!! Joe looked so fucking hot…**

**PPS - i have a twitter - it is twitter . com / bbggoodd **

**(take out the spaces)  
**


	18. Chapter 18

"**The other woman will never have his love to keep." The Other Woman – Jeff Buckley**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 18

_Look at that! I did forget to dedicate chapter 16 to Courty-Court… So like I promised, this one's for you!_

_Thanks Courtney! _

That evening you do not know how you got to where you are, but you're in Shane's arms watching a movie in the hotel room. He is holding you, concentrating on the movie more than you, but you hardly care because you're in his arms. It feels nice, and for the first time, you feel like you're going towards the person you used to be. You don't know why the depression has gradually waned; all you know is that it did. You do not want to question it, in fear the agony will return tenfold. You just want the peace to continue and not dissipate. You just want to be happy.

As the credits start to roll, you feel him move slightly from behind you. "We should do something." You mutter, as you run a hand through your messy hair. Shane smirks, squeezing your hip. He comes very close to you, before nipping your ear gently.

"We can have sex, you know." He suggests mockingly, kissing your neck teasingly. You freeze, the desire in you is strong, but the disgust with wanting to have sex is stronger. He chuckles at your expression. "I'm just kidding, baby." He says laughing before getting up to his already set laptop. You shiver as soon as his warmth is gone from your body, wanting so bad for him to be on top of you right now but not wanting it at the same time. "We should go to a concert." He says suddenly looking at the screen.

You squirm on the bed, and furrow your eyebrows at him. "What?" you ask, and he motions you to come to him. You reluctantly stand up from the comfy bed and go to his side, where he pulls you into his lap. "Tropical Concerts?" you read from the screen.

"Yeah, some artists are there. We should go. I miss listening to music. Plus, Nate is being a jerk and has decided to invade our weekend because he's worried about me." He says rolling his eyes. You turn to him quickly, your eyes wide.

"Nate's coming here?" you ask, and Shane nods before rolling his eyes again. You stare at him awkwardly, before looking back at the screen. "Yeah, we should get out of here." You agree, looking through the musicians that would be performing. "Can we get tickets?" you ask, pointing at the sold-out stamp on the screen. Shane looks at you pointedly, his eyebrows raised.

"Hello? I'm Shane Grey." He says haughtily, before pushing you up and taking your hand. You sigh harshly, letting him guide you to out the hotel room and down the stairs. For _some_ reason, the two of you have avoided elevators all together. You get into the huge SUV, and pretty soon you're on the road going towards your destination.

"How long till we get there?" you ask conversationally, leaning into your seat to look at him. He looks at you, biting his lip while tilting his head from side to side. "Didn't it already start anyways?" you point out.

"Maybe twenty minutes and it doesn't matter; the concert's going on till morning." He says, as he goes into another street. You furrow your eyebrows at the way he goes through the lanes with ease – or familiarity. He knows where he is going and he knows how to get there.

"Have you been here a lot?" you say, looking as he takes a back road deliberately. You see him hesitate and tense, swallowing roughly as he keeps his eyes straight on the cars in front of him. You sit up uncomfortably, before giving him a pointed look.

He sighs, a red tint going on his cheeks. "Um, I used to come here a lot." He mumbles, and you raise your eyebrow. He looks at you briefly, shame apparent in his eyes. You do not answer him, but just stare at him pointedly. "With Norah…I'm sorry." He says quickly, squinting his eyes, probably waiting for your anger. You freeze at his words, and breathe in deeply.

"Oh. That's cool." You say lamely, and he sighs again. Silence settles in the car as he drives and you look out the window. After a while, he speaks again in a low and soft voice.

"Look, she used to be a good friend, before they forced us to be together. She lives here, so I was constantly coming here – mostly because she hated LA and let's face it, so do I. I'm sorry. I should have told you." he says, still not looking at you. He bites his lip, ready to say something else, but you cut him off.

"Whatever, Shane. She's your ex. I get that." You say, but you realize that he took you to the one place he used to go with his ex-girlfriend all the time. He taps the steering wheel frustratedly, before turning to face you.

"Are you mad?" he asks, and the anger actually doubles in you because he has to ask that. You look out the window, away from him, and roll your eyes. "Mitchie-" he tries to talk, but you cut him off again.

"No, Shane." You say tensely. "Why would I be mad that you took me to a place that was once special between you and Norah? It's not like Norah isn't a fuck goddess with her long blonde hair and amazing legs. It's not like she can sing and has been nominated for a fucking Grammy. It's not like I'm just Mitchie." You say, surprised at the fury in your voice. He sighs sharply, before glaring at you.

"Stop that." He says fiercely, almost furiously. You look at him, ready to hear him defend her. "You always put yourself down. So what if she has long hair or long legs? She's a bitch who sold me out and pretended to be hurt when she just needed publicity. I hate girls like that." He tells you, with a harsh dark look in his eyes. You breathe in deeply, looking away from him again. "So, just stop." He says boldly, before going down the road to give the security guard his car.

He walks out, after giving the man his keys, and opens your door. He puts his hands on your hips, before making you look up at him. "Look, she's here tonight, okay, but I don't care and you shouldn't either. Just lose yourself in the music and forget about her." He tells you, and suddenly, you heart fills like it's about to explode.

"She's here?" you ask louder than you should have. He sighs, rolling his eyes, before pulling you with him to the front.

"It's okay." He tells you. "Nate is probably joining us anyways, so if anything, we can just sic him with her." He promises, before pulling you into hall. You can immediately hear the loud music vibrate through the hall, and pretty soon, you're inside. He takes you to the obvious VIP section where sure enough other artists are listening to the music. You recognize most of them, especially the goddess one at the end.

Norah.

She really was there. It hurts you that he kept this from you and it hurts you even more that you're life is always like a bad movie. It can never be good for you; people always have to destroy you. Shane rolls his eyes at her appearance, and focuses on you, but you aren't convinced. He lets you go in front of him so that you are up against the railing and he is behind you. After a while, you can feel the music take you over.

You dance with him wordlessly, as he holds your hips while grinding into you. Desire overpowers the jealousy in seconds, as you feel your body heat up with lust. You turn around and kiss him, still moving with him sensually. The kiss is angry and angsty, and completely filled with hunger. All thoughts leave your head, except that you hate the fact that he can control you.

Your fingers softly grip his waist as he gyrates his hips again. You can feel him growing hard, as he kisses you and holds you in – it takes you a while to realize – public. You immediately separate from him, embarrassed and ashamed at the feelings inside you. "I need to go to the bathroom." You tell him quickly, before halfway running away. You quickly go to the ladies room, making sure to splash water on your face.

"Hey." A voice behind you says, and you look up surprised. There in the dirty mirror, you see the reflection of the girl that has set your nerves on fire for at least an hour. She looks even more beautiful in person, but that doesn't stop you from glaring at her.

She gives you a small friendly smile. "You're the voice, huh?" she says very kindly, putting her purse on the sink with a loud thud. "I heard of you through Nate and Alexis. They're both good friends of mine." She tells you, leaning against the sink. You shrug coldly.

"Alexis?" you say tensely, looking in the mirror to fix your hair. Norah's smile falters, but her eyes soften.

"Yeah. Nick and Alexis are friends, so they talk. She wants your number apparently so you guys can become close friends. I think it's a good idea. It's hard dating a famous guy, so it's good to have a support system." She explains, before taking out a lipstick to apply on herself.

"Oh." You say in the same cold voice.

"Yeah." She says awkwardly, biting her lip. She looks at her hands uncomfortably, before sighing. "Look, I know you're together with Shane, and I think that's great. He needs stability in his life." She says, still biting her lip. "I'll see you okay." She whispers before leaving. You give her the cold shoulder the whole way out.

XXX

You arrive home a couple hours later, but you still don't know how to feel. The light breeze winnows through your long hair, as you pull your legs up to your chest, completely engrossed in your thoughts. You wrap your arms lightly around your body, watching the sun rise leisurely at the horizon. You are sitting in the little balcony alone in just Shane's shirt, watching the world pass you by awkwardly and much-too-slowly. You feel like shit right now, but you do not want Shane to know. She is beautiful and talented.

And even worst, a genuinely good person.

You yawn softly, making sure you cover your mouth completely as to not wake up Shane. You lean your head against the back of the chair, your eyes glued to the sunrise. It's beautiful, so beautiful. You can hear everything – from the jumping frogs to the crashing ocean. You take another deep breath of the deep salty air, as the sun slowly rises in the sky. It looks almost red to you, but then you realize all the other colors mixed in.

It's beautiful.

After a few more minutes of watching, you stand up, stretching your arms high above your head in exhaustion. You gradually make your way back into the suite, your eyes shying away from the figure on the bed. You think back at the way it used to be at Camp Rock, and just think about how much has changed. He's no longer your teacher, but he still teaches you things every day. Once upon a time, he used to only teach you sexual things, but now, he teaches you how to breathe without choking.

You climb into the huge bed as lightly as you can, sneaking a glance at the clock besides it. It is five in the morning. Again, you think back at camp, realizing you would be getting up at this time to take a shower so that you can sneak back into your – or rather Tess's and/or Caitlyn's – cabin. You remember the fights you would have with him when he would tighten his arms around you, half way begging you to stay a little bit longer. Most of the time, it worked.

You think back to all the times you had sex with him, and realize except the last two, they were all welcomed by you. They all felt good and they all reminded him that you are in fact yours. Maybe that's what he needs: a reminder of what he has.

Also know as, you.

As you sink your body deeply into the extremely comfortable plush around you, the exhaustion hits you again harshly. The only problem is the restlessness you have acquired in the last three months. You sigh disappointedly as sleep evades you, and suddenly, everything around you becomes more apparent. The warmth he radiates off his body makes you freeze. His light breath hits your neck rhythmically; it makes you shiver.

She's not beside him tonight; you are.

You stay still for a while, just listening to him breathe as the room steadily lights up. Closing your eyes and sinking in deeper in the pillow, you feel sleep overtake you slightly. You freeze when you feel him shuffle slightly, and turn around to look at him. He is obviously still asleep, but looks to be in distress as he suddenly keeps moving around. A light throaty moan escapes his lips, making your body tense and your eyes widen. You stay very still during the whole thing, scared to even breathe.

He squirms closer to you, his arms suddenly coming around you. His fingers are burning as they fall onto your stomach. He pulls you to him, even though he is dead asleep, and presses his hard body against yours. Immediately, you feel _him_ against your legs, as he lets out another small groan. His arms tighten around your body, before he involuntarily thrusts his lower body into yours. You gasp loudly as he buries his head in your hair, still thrusting softly.

Your whole body is overwrought with tension, as his hands start to push the hem of your shirt up. You feel his callous hands run up your skin up to just under the swelling of your left breast, making you breathe harder and harder. "Mitchie." He whispers hoarsely into your hair, before running his hands back down your body. For a second, you think maybe he has woken up, but one look at him tells you, he is still sleeping.

And he's having a very _good_ dream.

A scarlet blush goes on your cheeks as you unconsciously bite you bottom lip. His lower body keeps grinding against your lower back, as he groans and gasps in your hair. "Shane." You say blurt out raggedly, surprising yourself. He does not stop, but rather quickens his pace as his hand rubs your side swiftly. You awkwardly turn around to face him in order to wake him up, and do not even realize your mistake until it's too late.

His next thrust hits you right between your legs, and you can almost hear the wetness between them escalate. You cannot help your hips from responding, as your legs involuntarily spread for him. You moan as you bury your head in his chest, overwhelmed by the obvious sexual tension between you two.

How can something so wrong feel so right?

You know instantly when he wakes up, as his hands tighten around your lower back and his breathing increases, almost chokingly. Sweat starts to gather on both of you as you wordlessly continue to grind against each other. You breathe his scent in deeply as he groans again, his lips pressing lightly against your now damp neck. He gives you butterfly kisses, trailing up to your lips, gasping for air as he does. You close your eyes as he finally reaches your lips, as he roughly and carelessly flips you over.

You scream softly against his mouth as he thrusts right against your swelling clitoris. He groans throatily, before deepening the kiss and squeezing your hips. Your heart beats loudly, remembering all the times he would grab your hips before going into you. His warm hands go under your shirt, touching your damp, cold body hungrily. He softly, but sharply goes up, before cupping your breast, your nipple in between his fingers.

You shiver, your mind screaming at you to tell him to stop. You need him to stop. You are not on the Pill, nor are you ready for another sexual tornado between the two of you. "Shane." You try again, your voice extremely husky. He moans, thrusting again, as he starts kissing your neck once more. Your hands go straight to his dark locks, not knowing whether to pull him closer or throw him off.

"Mitchie." He mutters just as hoarsely, pushing your shirt up as far as he could without choking you. You gasp as the cold air hits your exposed nipples, blurrily looking at him as he dips his head to your chest. You almost scream again as he bites the soft pink nub before sucking on it. His hand goes to the other breast, desperately kneading it. "Mitchie." He groans again, as his tongue swirls around your nipple frantically.

You can feel his need growing – literally – as your sex becomes wetter and wetter. He keeps hitting the right spot each time, and you know with the amount of shivering and groaning he's doing, he's very close. "Shane." You moan this time, your hands halfway pulling his hair. His hands let go of your hips, but his mouth never stays from your breast. You freeze, scared and anxious, as his fingers trail down your exposed stomach.

_Mitchie._

They pull at your jeans desperately, his fingers sometime flicking your mound. You feel as screaming again, as your desire builds and builds. You can almost feel your stomach's muscles tightening, as he unbuttons your pants roughly before pulling them down hastily. It confuses you so much, because you thought you were only wearing his shirt, but the thought quickly flies from your head.

_Mitchie._

His breathing sharpens as he sees your brand new black panties against your pure white skin, illuminating the difference even more. This is so wrong, but you just don't care. You arch your back and close your eyes, as his hands cup your sex roughly. You moan loudly as his fingers dig in the material and he bites into your nipple again. Again, another thought tells you that you were wearing white cotton panties. Weren't you?

_Mitchie._

You shiver again, thrusting your hips out to meet his and finding nothing. You bite your lip as his hand goes to your shoulder and starts shaking it, your body still arched towards him. "Mitchie." You hear his voice again, except this time it is very difference. His voice sounds amused and calm, not at all the raw and breathless he had seconds ago. He shakes your shoulder again, as you lower your body back onto the bed, gradually opening your eyes.

You immediately sit up, taking in his very showered and clothed appearance. He is looking at you with a smug smile on his face, but with timid eyes. "What the fuck?" you exclaim, totally bewildered. You look at your body, your eyes widening at the fact you are back to just wearing his shirt and your legs are under the covers. You look around confusedly, before running your hand through your mused up hair. "You were…" you are halfway hyperventilating as you speak.

He laughs softly. "Baby, calm down." He sings, putting a hand on your shoulders. His eyes are light as he talks, completely amused. You turn to him, your face almost wild. You whimper as your sex throbs, forcing you to close your legs harshly. You feel like literally screaming. You are confused and horny: two of the worst qualities to have.

"What happened?" you say, almost growling as you sit up more with your thighs clamped together. He gives you another smile, before running a hand through your hair lightly. You feel like you cannot even breathe as he comes closer to you, his lips touching your cheek feathery soft. Your legs and mound scream for him as his warmth surrounds you. Your heart speeds up as he places his other hand on your thigh.

"You just had one helluva dream, honey." He whispers in your ear, the smirk apparent in his voice. You freeze, still breathing hard. Your eyes widen as you come to terms with the fact that what just happened was just a dream.

"What? No I didn't. You did. You were…" you try to say, but cannot. You pull your legs up, pushing him away unconsciously, as you try to muddle through the facts. Suddenly a deep harsh blush goes to your cheeks as he laughs again.

"Oh, I was in it. How very… flattering." He says teasingly, his hand still on your leg. You scoff embarrassedly and do not meet his eyes, before burying your head in your arms. His hand goes back to your hair, trying to fix it you presume, before coming close to you again. "What was it about?" he asks huskily, and you shiver with humiliation. You can almost feel the tears sting your eyes, as your sex continues to pulsate violently.

You are so turned on right now.

"Leave me alone." You mutter slightly inaudibly, pushing his hand away without even looking at him. He smirks again, making you look up with content. That's when all hell breaks loose. He is so fucking beautiful to you. The way his hair falls into his light brown eyes and the way his necklace hands on his neck set you off completely. Your hand snaps out, grabbing the necklace that has _your_ ring and pulling him to you.

You pounce on him, throwing him back on the bed with force you didn't even realize you had. He gasps as your legs lock around his hips and you start to gyrate down on his body. Your lips attack his neck and your hands pull on his shirt. He withers underneath you, his hands going straight to your hips, just like in your dream. Except this time, it is to pull you away. "Mitchie, what the hell are you doing?" he asks, and you can tell he is trying to keep things light. "Jeeze, aren't you feisty today." He continues in the same voice.

His voice betrays him, though. He is completely serious. You hesitate for a second, wondering if you should continue, but another glance at his surprised face makes you shove your hips down again. His mouth opens, totally shocked at your actions, and you still cannot tell if he is liking what you are doing or not. You don't really care in the end. Your hands snake down his body, fisting balls of shirt as you do as your hips dig into his.

He lets out a small moan that encourages you as you frantically try to take off his clothes. You are barely thinking. It's like a desire got a hold of you, and will not let go. You want him so bad, and you can hardly even breathe. You want to prove to him – or the world – that he is yours. He doesn't belong to her, and you'll be damned if you let him forget that. You hardly even notice he is fighting you right now. He is trying to grab hold of your wrists, but you are moving way too fast.

For once, you are in control.

That makes the fire inside of you intensify even more. Confidence blooms inside of you, and you reach for his jeans as your hair falls in front of your face. That's when you notice that he is not in mood. His hands finally grab yours roughly – so roughly, it makes you stop. You look to him, stunned and hurt, and furrow your eyebrows at his expression. He looks freaked out, probably at the loss of control you presume. "What are you doing?" he asks softly, still holding your wrists.

You freeze as he sits up, your legs still locked at his hips. You are sitting on top of him, but he maintains his distance. "What do you mean what am I doing?" you blurt out, shocked at his refusal. "I'm trying to take you." you say, surprising even yourself with the buoyancy you have. He sighs, looking at you sadly.

He wants her. You just know it.

"Baby, you have me." He whispers awkwardly, almost embarrassedly. He gives you a small smile as his eyes soften, but the feelings inside you are too animalistic to just have them turned off. You try to pounce on him again, but this time he is waiting for it. He holds you off gently, almost tenderly, but it is still rejection. You gasp, raising your eyebrows at him pointedly as your heart breaks.

He wants her. You just fucking know it.

You push away from him, your legs acting on their own as you run into the majestic bathroom while he stays on the bed, very still. "Mitchie, stop." He calls out again, barely above a whisper. Ignoring him, you shut the door behind you, sliding down to the floor. You hear him sigh and you hear his footsteps as he comes to the bathroom. He doesn't try to enter, as you expected him to, but rather he slides down the other door. "Mitchie?" he says again.

It surprising you that you can hear him through the door, but you don't answer him. Instead, you take a towel and scrub furiously the remnants of your dream and the recent ministrations you just pulled. With every passing second, disgust bubbles more and more. You cannot believe you had such a sexual dream. You cannot believe you jumped on him like that.

You cannot believe he stopped you.

You start crying with shame and a broken heart. "Mitchie." He calls out again, probably hearing your sobs. "I'm sorry." He whispers through the door. You scoff, hiccupping softly. "It's just…I can't…" he tries, but he is obviously struggling with his words. "We haven't had sex for more than two months, you know, and I just…" he trails off again, swallowing deeply. "I don't want it to be because of _her_, Mitch. That's all. It's nothing against you." he mumbles, and you freeze.

The way he mentions her screams hate. He hates her. Well maybe he doesn't want her, but you still get defensive. "I don't want to have sex with you because I'm trying to mark you." you basically lie. "I want you because _I want you_." you tell him, but technically that's not a lie either. He sighs, before reaching his hand up and opening the door. You jump as the door hits your back lightly, and you are forced to move over.

You do not look at him as he enters through the small crack you provided him. He doesn't talk as he moves towards you, but he does put his hand on your cheek to wipe away your tears. You flinch away from his touch, especially as your body screams for him to touch you again. "I do want you." He chokes out again, putting his hand back on your cheek. "But… we talked about this, Mitch. You said yourself. What if something like last time happened again? We told ourselves that sex isn't always the best idea, and it's true. I don't want something happening to you." He reminds you fiercely and you freeze.

You're such a whore.

"You're not a whore." He reprimands you, and you look up surprised, afraid you said that out loud. His eyes are bright and intense as they look at you furiously. He shakes his head. "I can see it in your eyes. You have this insane notion that you are some kind of slut, Mitchie. You're not. Fine, you obviously want to jump my bones, and okay, you practically just raped me, but that doesn't mean you're a whore, Mitch. It's means you're a teenager with fucking hormones driving you up the wall." He tells you sharply, almost fiercely. "So, stop thinking you're a fucking whore!" he scolds you again.

"You don't know what you're talking about." You snap still in defense mode. What he says doesn't make you feel any better, but rather reminds you of the fact you basically did try to rape him. You rip out of his grasp, standing up and going quickly to the dresser. Putting on a pair of jeans as quickly as you can, you barely look at him. "I'm going out." you say shortly, before opening the hotel door and slamming it behind you.

**XXX**

**So… that was long!!!!!!! I hate the first part of this chapter, but love the second part. Lol. I'm really sorry if they didn't fit together well. I hope they did. **

**Anyways, thanks for all the support again. I love you guys!!!**

**Love ya,**

**Sandra**

**PS – I like **_**long**_** reviews! and my twitter - www. twitter. com/ bbggoodd (no spaces)  
**


	19. Chapter 19

"**Words screaming in my head. Why did you leave?" Learning to Fall – Boys Like Girls**

_**(**__**AN: "Oh, oh. Another POV switch…" she says ominously.**__**) **_

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 19

You want to run after her, but for some reason, you hesitate. You wouldn't know how to confront her without yelling at her, and you really do not want to do that anymore. You know you have to stay where you are for at least a couple minutes because the need to instill in her mind that she is not a whore is overwhelming you to the point where you might hurt her.

And you don't want to hurt her.

"Mitchie." You whisper softly, before getting up from the comfy bed. You stretch out your legs, rubbing the now tense muscles on your thighs where she jumped up and down. You bite your lip, remembering her brashness until finally concluding you hated it. It's not even about the loss of control for you; it's because she was trying to be someone she's not to try and please you. "Damn it." You curse under your breath, going out the hotel room.

The hallway is completely empty, and you suddenly really regret not going after her sooner. Now she is nowhere to be seen. Panic immediately goes through you, but you try to ignore it by breathing out slowly. In the end, the breathing exercise doesn't work and you curl your hands into fists as you walk down the deserted hallway. You left and right, but only see doors to other suites. Fear goes through you again.

What if Mitchie was kidnapped by a large group of men? What if someone lured her into their hotel room only to rape her? What of someone tries to hurt her or what if they actually do hurt her? What if they kill her?

Shit.

You don't know what to do, but with every step the pure fear escalates until you are chastising yourself for being so dramatic. You gulp down your horror and look around the empty hallway only to go straight to the elevators. You step in and impatiently wait for the elevator to stop, thoughts going wild in your head. Where is she? You gulp again, trying so hard to calm yourself down. The phone rings bringing you out of your stupor for a second, until you realize it is only Nate. You pocket your phone again dismissively.

As soon as you are in the main lobby, you almost run out to the small store and then to the restaurant. When you finally realize she is not anywhere on the first floor, you start to freak out again. The phone rings again and you look at the screen. "What the fuck do you want Nate? I'm busy!" you yell, still angry at the fact he called your girlfriend a whore and completely panicked that you cannot find Mitchie.

You are met with tense silence as you hear him breathe out angrily, making you roll your eyes. As soon as you realize that your eyes are watery, you duck into the dark café near the store to hide your face. You don't want this all over the world by tomorrow. You can just hear the headlines now, "_A Suicidal Shane Grey Crying All Alone at a Hotel."_ "Fuck you." Nate says softly, before hanging up the phone abruptly.

You blink and close the phone, rolling your eyes again at his pettiness. You look around the dark room, squinting to see if you see Mitchie anywhere. You don't even realize you are wringing your hands through your hair, until you practically almost pull it out. You wince and let go of your hair, before breathing out again. After a while, the breathing exercises work enough for you to calm down again. You take the phone you have in your hand and call your little brother again. "I'm sorry. What?" you say briskly, almost rudely. You hear him laugh sardonically.

"Never mind, Shane." He spits out, obviously hurt. You sigh and roll your eyes, before rubbing them roughly.

"I'm sorry. I kinda lost Mitchie, so excuse me." You say with attitude, breathing out darkly. Nate breathes in sharply, before sighing exasperatedly. You freeze as something tells you Nate has something important to tell you.

"I know you did, moron. If you would have let me talk, I would have told you that she was here. With me. I saw her crying as I was coming in, and told her to come with me. She didn't want to because apparently now she hates me, but she didn't want to see you even more. Jeeze, Shane, what the fuck did you do to her?" Nate says frustratedly. You let go of the breath you are holding and immediately feel calmer.

She's safe.

"She hates you because you called her a whore, Nate." You remind him, ignoring his question. Nate hisses, before hanging up the phone. It takes you a second to realize he didn't give you his hotel number, but even longer to realize you don't know how to fix this. You sigh, wiping your eyes again, before going out of the dark café and into the bright lobby. You squint your eyes at the brightness, looking at the elevator pointedly.

She's not going to forgive you, you figure, until you realize what you did. You sigh as you wonder around the hotel lobby, instead of going to the elevator. All you did was tell her she was not a whore, because to you she's not. To you, she's just seriously confused, and that's okay. That's why you stopped.

You want everything between the two of you to be for a purpose – it's the musician and poet inside of you that wants that, you figure. You do not want to have sex purely because she is threatened by the bitch called Norah. You want to have sex with her because you finally want it to mean more. You just want it to mean something. You're tired of living life flippantly; it's getting on your last nerve.

You just want it to mean something.

Sure, you make fun of her all the time and you push her with your sexual innuendos, but it's supposed to be in good fun. It's supposed to make her laugh, not pounce on you. You sigh as _that_ memory comes back at you, and you realize just how much you hated that. You never want her doing that again. You want her to be herself, not some version she thinks she has to be. You want her to realize she is perfect the way she is and all she has to do is believe in herself and she will make it in whatever.

You know you don't always help with her self-image, but you really wish she would stop thinking she was a whore. You want her to realize she is fine the way she is, and you'll be damned if you don't change her mind. Determined, you stop in the middle of the lobby, looking around the unfamiliar place pointedly. You sigh when you realize there are no jewelry stores around you, but only gift shops and a teen boutique.

Licking your lips, you walk to the gift shop, glancing at the teen store only to make you shiver with disgust. Everything in there is either about that stupid Disney musical with that stupid floppy haired blue eyed kid, Alexis Texas, or Connect 3. You glare at your cardboard cutout and its obvious fake smile, wanting nothing more than to punch it. You roll your eyes, ready to go into the gift shop, only to have something catch your eye in the teen shop.

You pause, before turning your heel and going into the heavily perfumed store. You avoid the propaganda and go straight to the fake jewelry on the side. There hanging from the wall was a bunch of necklaces all saying "_Shane's". _Of course, there are _"Nate's" _and _"Jason's"_, but the _"Shane's"_ are almost out. You smirk, knowing only one girl in the world can wear this necklace and get away with it. You grab the one that has your name in black because you know Mitchie likes black and go to the cashier.

The girl behind the counter is obviously not Hawaiian and she hardly looks up at you from her magazine. Instead, she just puts her hand out for your eventual purchase and rings it up. When you hand her the money, she looks up dismissively and freezes. Her eyes widen at you, but you have already taken the bag out of her hands and are walking out of the store. You roll your eyes at her when you hear her scream, but do not look back.

Taking the necklace out of the bag, you rush to the elevator just incase she tells someone Shane Grey is right there. As soon as you get in there, you groan, remembering you still do not know where Mitchie is exactly since you did not ask Nate for his room number. You push the button for your floor, hoping she will be there already, but knowing she won't. Your fingers go to your neck without thinking and you finger her ring.

It takes you a while to remember that you still have your ring and she doesn't have it. You bite your lip and step out of the elevator and into your room, sighing when you guessed right that she wasn't in the room. You go to your suitcase and open it, pushing the forgotten straightener aside to reach for the small bag you put your personal stuff in. Pulling out your ring, you gulp at the way the cross hits the light.

Instead of dwelling on it, you take the ring and string it through the chain softly, so that the ring will settle on your name symbolically. Putting the necklace back in the bag and into your pocket, you groan again and take out your phone. You almost lose hope after a couple rings, but sigh in relief when Nate picks up. "It's room 32." He says grumpily, before hanging up. You pull the phone away from you and stare at it for a second before realizing Mitchie's probably not being very nice to him.

Well, that's what he gets for calling her a whore.

You go quickly to the assigned room, barely even knocking before Nate comes out looking disgruntled. You give him a mockingly cheeky smile, before messing up his hair. "Hey little bro. miss me?" you say sarcastically. "Yeah. Good. Now leave." You say bluntly, pointing down the hall and giving him your hotel room. Nate rolls his eyes and looks down sadly. It is at that moment that you remember he came out here because he is genuinely worried.

You sigh and look at his purple nose, wincing at where you hit him. You hesitate as he moves past you, but pull him into a hug. "Thanks, little bro. I love you." you tell him honestly, because even though he called your girlfriend a whore and even though he is annoying, he is still your little brother and that means a lot. He freezes before hugging you tightly and abruptly letting go. He moves past you quickly, already going to your room.

You nod and turn back to the open door, wincing at the fact you hear her crying quietly. You walk in silently, closing the door behind you softly. Your eyes are glued to her body as she cries in the pillow, her hands fisting the pillowcase angrily. You walk over to her, freezing when she suddenly looks at you. Her eyes widen and she breathes in violently, only to look away embarrassed. You watch as her cheeks fill up with a scarlet blush. You shiver.

She is so beautiful.

You hate telling her that though, because then it makes you seem like a vulnerable sap. You hate those types of guys, you have concluded. You suddenly realize you are just standing there, and you go to her, sitting on the bed carefully. You reach out to touch her, but she flinches away. Hurt, you pull back and look to the floor. "I'm sorry if I did something to offend you." you whisper nervously, angry at yourself for not knowing what you did.

She laughs humorlessly, sniffing slightly. "You didn't do anything. That's the point." She says bitterly as she fingers the covers angrily. You freeze as you realize why she is mad.

You scoff. "You're mad at me because I stopped?" you say incredulously, looking at her pointedly. She shuffles uncomfortably and your eyes and tone soften. "Honey." You whisper, putting your hand to her cheek to caress it. You sigh with attitude when she pulls away. "Is it such a big deal?" you say sharply, huffing slightly. She scoffs and doesn't meet your eye. "Fine." You mutter darkly, before pushing yourself on her. Your fingers go straight to her jeans. "Let's have sex right now." You say icily, unbuttoning quickly.

She squirms under you, before fiercely pushing you away. "I don't want to have sex with you, Shane!" she tells you, her eyes brimming with tears. You growl at her, before taking yourself off her exasperatedly. She takes a deep intake of breath, her eyes wide again.

"You think I don't know that! That's why I stopped." You tell her, looking at her piercingly. "I knew if we did, you would be killing yourself over it within a few hours. I was just trying to stop you from hurting yourself with your fucking outrages thoughts!" you yell at her, eyes glaring. She freezes and tenses, her eyes widening before looking away again. You can see the guilt go into her face as she picks at the covers again. You sigh, trying to calm yourself down.

"I'm sorry. I didn't say that to make you feel guilty. I just want you to know how I feel, baby." You tell her, giving her a weak smile. You reach for her again, but this time she does not pull away. You touch her cheek softly, before leaning in and kissing her chastely on the lips. "I love you." you whisper against her mouth, and she tenses again before melting into you. She pulls away from you briefly just to bury herself in your chest. You wrap your arms around her and kiss the top of her head, before pulling away.

"I'm sorry." She chokes out, blushing deeply. She looks down shamefully, until you put your fingers under her chin and make her look at you. She gives you a meek grin, before reaching up and pushing your curly hair out of your face. You lean into her touch as she shakes her head. "I was kind of a bitch to Nate." She confesses, biting her lip and looking at the door. You shrug your shoulders, sighing slightly as you fall into her arms.

"Yeah, I figured." You whisper into her neck softly. She shivers blatantly and you suppress the urge to give her a one liner. Instead, you kiss her neck. "I didn't mean to scare you just now." You apologize and she shrugs, kissing your skin lightly. Silence overtakes the two of you, but that's okay because sometimes silence is better.

The two of you hold on to each other for a while, completely drained from the night. She smells so good it is driving you wild – wild enough to want to take her. You cough uncomfortably, pulling away and giving her a smile. She looks at you disappointedly, trying to bring you back to her, but you shake your head almost playfully. "I got you something. Well, two somethings, but one was already yours." You tell her, reaching into your pocket.

You immediately see her roll her eyes, prompting you to do that same. You already know what she will say. "Shane, you didn't have to buy me anything." She argues and you take out the bag that proudly portrays the teen store's logo. She raises her eyebrow at you skeptically. "Okay, Clair's? Oh, honey, you didn't tell me you were gay." She mocks, and you glare at her, putting the bag down pointedly.

"Shush or I won't give it to you." you say, almost pouting. She gives you a small smile, but for once it reaches her eyes. You push her hair back, before taking out the necklace and putting it around her neck. "So that you or no one will ever forget just who I belong to and vice versa." You say softly as you tighten the clasp. She freezes, before reaching up and fingering your name and eventually your ring.

"Shane-" she starts and you can see her hand itching to take it off. You stop her, taking her hands in yours. You intertwine your fingers, before kissing her to cut her off. You take her bottom lip in between yours before pulling away.

"You do deserve to wear it. Both things. I love you, Mitch. I accept that now, you know? I used to be scared of it, but then I realized how much worst it was without it. I need you in my life, Mitchie. Always and forever." You say, before squeezing her hands and reaching up to kiss her again. She pulls her hands away from you, and puts them in front on your chest to stop you. "Now what?" you says, rolling your eyes. she scoffs hurtfully, unconsciously pouting.

God, she's so beautiful.

It takes you a second to realize she freezes because you said that out loud. You blush, looking away, chastising yourself for saying it out loud. "Do you really think so?" she whispers, and you look back at her. She looks so vulnerable, so pure. It makes you think of all the Hollywood girls who have asked if they were beautiful to just get a compliment, and it makes you realize once again how special Mitchie is.

"Yeah." You whisper, before leaning in and kissing her again. Your lips mold to each other as you hold her and she hold you, and for the first time in a long time, you are happy. You want to stay in there forever – in her arms.

**XXX**

**The End.**

**Ha! Just Kidding!!! But that would be an awesome ending wouldn't it? Lol. It's really hard for me to decide when I should end this ff and at what chapter. I don't want to end it soon, but it might just end it self… **

**In other news, I was kind of disappointed by the lack of reviews for last chap. Was it that bad? I tried to be comical(somewhat) with mitchie's dream. I guess many people didn't like it. =/ **

**So, next chapter will go up at say 540 reviews… I feel like I should do something special for the next chapter since it is chapter 20… maybe our heroes will finally make love for the first time in a while…. Maybe not. Lol.**

**Love, Sandra**

**Ps – why don't you tell me your favorite chapter of the series and why. It would help me allllllllllot!**


	20. Chapter 20

"**How could I be losing you forever? After all the time we spent together?" Bottom of the Ocean – Miley Cyrus**

**AN: Whoa! Chapter 20! And I never knew how much "Trainwreck" related to my story…**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 20

You look around the unfamiliar hotel room that belongs to Nate. You sit up slightly on the big plushy bed, feeling too small and insignificant to be here where you are. Closing your eyes, you listen to the waves crashing in the distance and to the soft rhythmic pattern of water from the shower Shane is currently taking. It's so peaceful, but so discomforting at the same time. The quiet makes you think, and sometimes, thinking is bad. Everything from the last few months comes to you in flashes, until you are closing your eyes tightly and burying yourself in your pillow.

Sighing, you jump off the bed awkwardly, needing to do something – anything. You look around the room again anxiously, and a guitar in the corner of the room catches your eyes. Your breath gets stuck in your throat as your eyes sweep the dark red Gibson SG that is leaning against the wall majestically next to its case. It was Nate's guitar. You knew that, especially considering you have always been a big fan of Connect 3. The guitar is practically almost as famous as he is.

And it's right there.

You cross over to it, your eyes glued to the strings, before picking it up carefully. It weighs a little, you realize, as you put the strap over your shoulder, and you wonder how he rocks out with it on stage looking so flawless. You hesitantly run your fingers through the strings, careful that your nails do not scratch the paint. You look around again, almost involuntarily, until you find what you are looking for. There on the table are dozens of picks, each proclaiming C3 proudly.

Picking one up, you go back to the bed, still cautious as you sit down. You sigh, your shoulders relaxing slightly, as you hold the guitar in your hands like it was a baby. "You fled from medication cause it only causes pain." You say quietly, strumming the guitar lightly. It still surprises you to this day that Shane would be so stupid and try to commit suicide. You figure he only wanted attention, because now that you are back with him, he is fine. "You won't go to the doctor. He keeps calling you insane." You whisper, slightly singing.

You laugh sardonically as you stop strumming to hear the water again. The both of you are such train wrecks. You do not know where to go or what to do. It's like you're living life one day at a time, but not thinking about where you're going to end up. "You're lost even when you're going the right way." You sing, going back to the guitar. You breathe out softly, closing your eyes briefly. This is who you were before: a singer, a writer, a musician. But then Shane came along and all you could see for a while was him.

And then the miscarriage happened.

It's funny how your priorities can change in a second. You needed to find yourself, but then when you did, you realized that you couldn't be yourself without Shane. "You mean the world to me even though you might be crazy." You hum softly, looking out the window to see the crashing waves again. It was like the whole world was reflected in that soft turquoise water. The light blue sky glares at you until you have to look away.

A year ago, you were just a small sophomore in high school. You had no friends except Sierra. People used to either make fun of you or ignore you to the point you didn't know which was worst. Guys would never really look at you, except to ask you to move out of their way. You were unkissed and unpopular and unliked. You didn't necessarily hate yourself, but you wished you were someone else – anyone else.

Now look.

You are Mitchie Torres, Shane Grey's girlfriend. He loves you and if anyone knew how close the two of you actually are, you would be the envy of every girl on campus. You already technically are; they just don't it's you. You have met all of Connect 3 and have made other friends – even if you have now alienated them by your depression. Hell, you have even met Norah James, who used to be one of your idols before she turned into your so called enemy.

"And you said we wouldn't make it, but look how far we've come." You continue, not even hearing the shower stopping. You are too engrossed with your thoughts and the music to even care about anything else. You think about how different it is now. You think about how much pain and anguish the miscarriage gave you, and how almost happy you feel now with Shane. "For so long my heart was breaking, but now we're standing strong." You sing, strumming on the guitar again.

"You have a beautiful voice, baby." A voice startles you, making you jump slightly. You grip the guitar so that it doesn't fall and look at the person who spoke, before a scarlet blush goes on your cheeks. You look away from a shirtless Shane, lightly picking at the strings, as he comes closer to you. Breathing in, you almost feel dizzy at how good he smells. "Keep singing." He asks you, pulling on a shirt before slipping behind you on the bed. You tense as he kisses your shoulder lightly, before whispering in your ear. "I want to hear you." he says, nuzzling his wet hair on your neck.

You smile shyly, shaking your head and rolling your eyes. "The things you say make me fall harder each day." You sing mockingly, leaning into him. He laughs lightly in your ear, making you shiver and breathe in deeply. You beam at him again, before getting out of his embrace to put the guitar cautiously on the floor. Turning around, you put your legs on either side of him, halfway sitting on top of him. You lean in to him again, almost seductively with bright but calm eyes. "You're a train wreck, but I wouldn't love you if changed." You whisper in his ear, before kissing his neck gently.

He moans softly, before falling back on the bed with you on top of him. You smile at him as your hair falls in front of your face, before he pushes it back softly. His hand is so callous but soft as he traces your cheek. "Keep singing." He repeats his request. You bite you inner lip, but nod. You open your mouth, but a loud sharp knocking cuts you off. Shane rolls his eyes. "No room service. We're fine, thanks." He yells, but the knocking continues. You sigh and get off of Shane, going to the door exasperatedly.

When you see that it is Nate, you resist rolling your eyes. On one hand, he is annoying. On the other, he has to be the most self-righteous person you have ever met. You cross your arms at him pointedly, until you realize something's wrong. He is looking at you slightly crazed with wide eyes filled with fear. "Hey! Where's Shane? I need to – why is my guitar on the floor?" he asks suddenly, his tone changing completely.

You look back at the instrument as Shane rolls his eyes and picks it up. He puts it back in the case, before going behind you again. You smile at him as he wraps his arms around your waist, and turn back to Nate. He is looking almost shyly at you with obvious sadness in his eyes. "What's wrong?" Shane says frustratedly. You lean back into his hard body, feeling his chest fall up and down with every breath he takes.

Nate shuffles uncomfortably. "Can we talk in private? No offense, Mitchie, but I need to tell him something." He says apologetically and awkwardly. Shane sighs and lets go of you, before lifting your chin to kiss you chastely.

Then, you're back to being alone in an entirely too big room with absolutely nothing going on. You groan and go back to the bed, too scared Nate will freak out if you touch his guitar again. Instead, you grab your phone and turn it on for the first time in days. You wait to see how many new voicemails and texts you have, again completely amazed at how things have changed. A year ago, you could have your phone off for a month and not get a new text or call. But now, there are 332 voicemails and 150 texts.

Whoa.

Usually the numbers are all from mainly three people: your mother, Sierra, and Caitlyn. But most of these are random numbers mixed in. You hesitate before calling the first one. "Hello?" came the voice over the phone. It sounds like a young girl.

You froze. You have no idea who this person is. "Um, you called my phone the other day. Who is this?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. You shuffle on the bed as uncomfortable silence hits you, as you presume the girl is trying to figure out who you are. You sigh. "I'm Mitchie Torres. Who is this?" you repeat again almost sharply. You raise your eyebrows when the girl gasps excitedly, almost screaming.

"What! No way! Oh my, God? Is it really you? I thought the number was a fake, but… Oh my, God! Wait until Oceanup hears about this! Are you still in Hawaii? Is Shane a good kisser? Can you give me Nate's number? I love him so much, and I hate Alexis. I can't believe they were caught kissing. Wait! You're not friends with her, are you? Are you? You must have famous best friends! I mean, you are Shane Grey's girlfriend!" the girl says insanely fast.

You manage to understand only a little bit of what she just said, but you understand the gist of it. Paling, you swallow softly. "Um, how did you get this number?" you ask softly, standing up from the bed. The girl pauses, before breathing out slowly.

"I don't know. I just have it. It was going around on the internet. Don't you go on Perezhilton or Oceanup? They both had the numbers in the comments people made under you and Shane's pictures." The girl says excitedly. You can hear loudness in the background and people yelling, _"No way!"_ over and over again. You quickly hang up the phone, freezing completely and breathing way too hard.

There are pictures of you and Shane on the internet? Holy shit. You stand up to go to the computer, until you realize the lap top is still your original room. Panic starts to overwhelm you, as you think of every and any possible time the paps could have taken a picture of you. You groan before falling onto the bed again. That's probably what Nate wanted to talk to Shane about; especially if they took pictures when you and he were practically having sex in public at the concert.

You hear him come in quietly, and you turn to face him with a frown. He rolls his eyes at you, before sinking into the bed and putting his arms around your lower body. "Nate's a moron." He says, before kissing your cheek softly. "Now, we were in the middle of something…" he trails off, kissing up to your lips. You arch your body towards him, but pull back in the last second. His face is priceless, and for a moment, you forget about the pictures and laugh. "Tease." He snaps, pouting slightly.

He leans forward again, trying to kiss you. You allow him to brush his lips against yours, but again pull back. He groans again, before putting his face in a pillow. "Did Nate tell you about the photos?" you ask him pointedly.

"What photos?" he asks, but his voice is muffled by the pillow. You sigh and sit up, and he looks up at you. "There's photos? Are you a stripper?" he says, narrowing his eyes mockingly. You glare at him, softly pushing him, as he grins at you before sighing. "What did those motherfuckers do now?" he says, a bitter tone replacing his amused one. You can gradually see his eyes turn serious as does his face.

When he unconsciously flickers his eyes to his wrists, you bite your lip."Apparently, Nate and Alexis Texas were caught kissing." You say weakly, obviously lying. For once, he doesn't catch you on it, but instead gives you a surprised look that plainly asks 'How do you know that?' "Caitlyn texted me. She loves him." You lie again quickly. This time you see him pull back a little; he caught you that time. You shake your head and lay back down. "Is that what Nate told you?" you say, changing the subject.

Shane doesn't look at you as he talks. "Yeah. That's why he came – to get out of the paparazzi's camera. And I guess, to check up on me." He says, but he says it coldly. He knows you're lying to him. You look away from him, before putting on a fake smile and sitting back up. You swing your leg over his body to straddle him and give him a seductive smile. You can see him roll his eyes again and you know you are forgiven. Probably won't be forgotten, but at least, forgiven.

"So, where were we?" you say mockingly, before leaning down and kissing his lips. He sighs against them, and as soon as you feel him respond, you pull away again teasingly. He groans loudly, putting his hands on your hips to lift himself up so that he is sitting. When the two of you are face to face, he gives you a glare.

"Stop. Being. Such. A. fucking. Tease." He says dangerously low, breathing out softly. You close your eyes as his smell invades your senses again, and you go to finally kiss him fully. This time however, he pulls back right before your lips touch. You snap open your eyes to see his smirk. "Remember, baby, I'm Shane Grey. It's my job to be sexy and unattainable. Don't mess with me." He sings tauntingly, almost challenging. You just stare at him, a ghost of a smile on your lips. He bites his lip, before coming close to you again. "So, I'm gonna kiss you, and I swear to God, if you don't let me…" he trails off, giving you a pointed look.

You hold back a chuckle and nod, before he connects your lips again. It surprises you a little that he kisses you so softly, taking time to treat both your bottom and upper lip with the same playful ministrations. However, you notice when you put your arms around his neck that the mood abruptly changes. He is still so tender with you, but now he is pulling you unto the bed with him. For the first time in a long time, not only your body wants to be with him, but so do you.

You miss him. You miss touching his body and feeling him. You miss feeling connected with someone. But at the same time, you are too inexperienced in other areas to be so experience in that one. You moan softly into his mouth as he pulls you next to him, still kissing you gently. When the two of you need air again, he separates from you and starts to kiss your neck skillfully. You sigh as he pulls you close to him, before nuzzling his nose in your neck. He kisses you once, twice, three times before leaning his forehead against yours.

You swallow, suddenly nervous, as a blush goes to your cheeks. It's obviously no secret your body scream for him with not only your dream but the only you practically attacked him, but you know it is no secret as well that he doesn't want to sleep with you again. You flinch as that thought comes to you, and push away from him again. He growls at you as you realize he told you not to pull away or you would suffer the consequences. You bite your lip, as you look at him with a mixture of confusion, low self esteem and other emotions.

He narrows his eyes at you, but quickly realizes something is wrong. His eyes soften as his eyebrows lower. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he asks gently, biting his lip. He pushes your bangs back as you look away from him. You shake your head, before turning to him and kissing him chastely.

"Nothing's wrong. I just think too much." You say lamely and he gives you a glare. He knows you're not telling the whole truth. You stare at him wordlessly for a while, before clearing your throat. "I want you." you say honestly. You watch as he rolls his eyes, a small almost unnoticeable blush going on his cheeks. "But so does every other girl in America and then some." You sigh, as your mind goes back to the pictures that will undoubtedly haunt you for the rest of your life.

Shane laughs, putting his hand on your neck. "Yeah, but how many of them can say they have my purity ring around their necks?" he says pointedly, before rubbing his nose with yours. When he smiles at you, you realize he is truly happy, and then you realize, that makes you happy as well. He kisses you one last time, before looking at you with narrow eyes again. you throw him a confused look as he turns red and turns away.

"Are you blushing, Shane?" you mock, putting a hand on his cheeks. He frowns and pushed you away pointedly, making you laugh. "What prey tell are you blushing about?" you ask him, nervous yourself. You won't lie to yourself and say you don't want him to ask you if you can sleep together tonight. You swallow when you realize that that is what he is going to say – something about sex. Maybe he does want to have sex after all, and he is going to acknowledge it. You look at his struggling face, not knowing what to want.

"Will you…" he trails off, but you just stare at him. You don't know what to say at all. "Will you…" he trails off again, before sighing deeply. An angry scowl goes on his face as he obviously internally chastised himself. "Will you go on a date with me?" he finally asks, looking at you purposely. You blink at him, and you swear you heart just stopped.

"You're asking me out?" you say softly, your voice cracking. Shane smiles and nods, before looking at you expectantly. "Yes." You say swiftly, giving him a confused look. You gave him your virginity. Is he really afraid you won't go out with him. Blinking, you bite your lip. "Have we never gone on a date before?" you ask, before you can stop yourself.

Shane pulls you to him so that he is talking in your ear. "Not that I know of. Unless, you count sneaking out at 3 in the morning to go on canoe rides a date." You scoff surprised and roll your eyes, shaking your head at the two of you. He shakes your waist slightly, giving you a disappointed look. "That doesn't make you a whore or any less special to me." He says fiercely, and you just stare at him, raising your eyebrow.

In all honestly, you didn't even think of that. He groans as he realized he planted that thought in your mind, before getting off the bed. "Where are you going?" you ask, not even looking at him. He shrugs and reaches in his pocket.

"I told Nate that we need to switch hotel rooms again, so I have our key back." He says, hitting it against his fingers, before sticking it out to you. "Here. I bought you a dress and some shoes. They're in our room. Go. Pretty yourself up." he says, smiling at you, nodding for you to leave. You sigh and start to shake your head, and he shakes his head. "Mitchie." He warns you, pulling you off the bed. He reaches to his pocket again and hands you his credit card. "You can buy make up or whatever you need if you want in the lobby. Just use this." He continues.

You scoff and fix him a hard look. "What am I? A hooker? Or are you my sugar daddy?" you say, almost angrily. You hate it when he spends money on you; it's just not your thing and he constantly does it. He smiles at your choice of words and shakes his head. He puts his arms around your waist and kisses your lips. You groan against them, but don't pull away.

"No, honey. You're my girl, and I want you to have anything you want." He whispers, before kissing you again. He is tender with you still, until he breaks away abruptly. "Now go. I'll get you at seven." He says, signaling you to the door. You sigh at him pointedly, but go anyways.

And suddenly, you're once again back to being completely alone.

It turns out he buys you a pretty stunning red dress with a nice black half sweater to put over it. He also gets you a pair of black pumps that make you wonder if he is either gay or if he had someone helping him. It makes you laugh that the outfit fits so perfectly on you, but you let it go. You look in the mirror, and think maybe for once, that you look pretty. In the end, you do not buy anything with his credit card, but put on a simple shimmering lip gloss and just a touch of eye shadow you already had.

It's funny really how the two of you had never had a proper date, and it has taken you about four months after you two met for it to happen. You wonder back to the pictures circulating the internet and sigh, and hope they are not too bad. You glance to your turned off phone and wonder who the hell gave it out, but dismiss it. You hardly use it anyways. You glance at the clock.

6:34.

You still have twenty six minutes to go, and you are starting to get nervous. You have no idea where you are going, and you're scared of what's going to happen. Does he want to have sex when you get back? Will he be _willing_ to have sex when you get back? Will he even want to? Will tonight's date be everything you ever wanted? Or will it end up being the date from hell usually portrayed in bad romantic comedies?

You stand up and twirl in your dress, loving the way it hits your skin. It's a beautiful dress. Shane has really good taste.

As you stand in front of the mirror, someone starts to knock on the door. You glance back at the clock, only to see it only moved one minute. You look at the door, frowning slightly, but shrugging n the end. You are already made up; who cares if he is early? You look in the mirror again to make sure the curls are still in your hair and then grabbing your purse, before going to the door nervously. You breathe out before opening the door, smiling happily.

When you open the door, you almost drop the purse. It is absolutely the last person in the world you are expecting to see, as the smile drops from your face and your world stops. "Dad?" you whisper softly, your voice cracking slightly.

Not even ten minutes later, you are being forced into a car with Shane in Nate's room completely oblivious and waiting for it to turn seven.

**XXX**

**I promised a sex scene. It didn't happen. Sorry. It's funny cuz when I started this, this was meant to just a sex story, but then it turned out to be so much more. I thought about ending it with this chapter, because as one reviewer (Love Ya) said, "**it should endbecause a lot of [the story] was the internal conflict of depression and loving each other. Since this conflict is sort of over you should end it.**" And I though hmm, that's a good point. But then I remember the **_**other**_** conflicts.**

**Mainly her parents and the law.**

**So, I decided to continue the story. Lol. Hope you guys are okay with that. Thank you so much for all the positive reviews. I literally spent two hours reading every 547 of them and thinking I have the best fans in the world. You guys are awesome and I love you.**

**(To Mandy-Riles, I will use you very soon. Lol.) **

**Btw, okay, I'm just going to say, her father did not kidnap her. Shane technically did… in a way…I don't know. Whatever. The point is he didn't hold her at gun point; he's just her father. **

**Another btw, did you guys know the most favored chapters were the miscarriage, the elevator and the suicide/hospital ones. Lol. You guys like drama way too much. **

**Love Sandy**

**PS- i still like **_**long**_** reviews. =p next chapter at 570-ish!!  
**


	21. Chapter 21

"**Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again. You'll just come back running" All the Same – Sick Puppies (I seriously recommend this song!)**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 21

"Are you kidding me right now?" you yell, angry hysterical tears streaming down your face. You don't even wonder how horrible you must look, but you can feel your mascara running along your red cheeks. You frustratedly kick the rental car's dashboard, wanting so badly to just open the door, but knowing that you are going too fast through the highway to just jump out. After all, you're not suicidal.

At least, you're not anymore.

"Michelle Torres! You better stop moving around before I…" your father trails off menacingly. It's at that moment you are reminded of how much you actually hate him. Why the fuck is he here? How did he find you? Opening your mouth to scream again, you freeze when you realize he probably saw the pictures on line. "Just who the hell do you think you are? Running off with a boy you haven't known for even six months!" he screams as he grips the steering wheel harshly.

You hiccup and wipe your eyes angrily. You can feel the fury rise within you with every passing second. "I love him." You say darkly, but in the end, it sounds cliché even to you. Something inside of you can see the logic behind your father words, but you are too angry, too scared, and too hysterical to care.

Your father scoffs sardonically. "Love? You have no idea what love is. You are just a stupid naïve girl who was taken advantage of by a clever son of a bitch. You should be ashamed of yourself for acting like such a goddamn whore!" he continues, making you breathe in sharply.

That's that fucking word again. You are so tired of people calling you that.

He keeps yelling and scolding you as he weaves through the highway, but the fury inside of you blocks him out. Instead, you start to almost hyperventilate. "Don't you realize what you have done?" you say softly, looking at him through fiery eyes filled with tears. Your dad laughs humorlessly again, shaking his head. "Shane is gonna freak!" you say much louder.

Your father scoffs again sarcastically. "Well then let me just turn around and take you back to him because _Shane _is going to freak." He says icily, his hands still gripping the steering wheel harshly. "Do you know the hell you put your mother and me through! Do you understand the pain you caused your mother at all, you little bitch!" he screams again as he turns onto a different road. You open your mouth shocked at his cursing, and dig your hands through your once-perfect hair.

You were supposed to go on a date. It was supposed to be wonderful. And he was going to maybe – hopefully – make love to you. And you would move forward a couple more steps. But instead, you are right back at the very beginning. Back to square one.

You breathe shakily. "I left all my stuff there. My iPod. My phone. Shane's gonna think I was kidnapped or something." You try to say but your voice is breaking. In all honestly, you sincerely hope that is what Shane believes, because the alternative would be that you left him.

Again.

"He can call the cops." You tell your father pointedly. "He's going to be worried. Don't you understand?" you continue screaming, kicking the dashboard again violently. Your dad laughs angrily, biting the inside of his lip roughly.

"I hope he does." Your father says darkly. "Because then I will have the police arrest that son of a bitch." He snarls. You scoff, rolling your eyes. People forget that you are not a little girl anymore. You can actually think for yourself.

"Yeah, for what? _I _ran away. _I _got on the plane. _I _did it; not him! And by the way, just in case you don't know, in Hawaii, the age of consent is sixteen." You say pointedly, gnashing your teeth. "And guess how old I am?" you finish sarcastically. You freeze when you see your father's eyes darken with anger and he grips the wheel harder. "And in New Jersey, the age is sixteen also, dad. Why can't you just accept us together?" your voice cracks in the end.

He doesn't answer.

Instead, he stops at a hotel by the side of the road, and with every second you feel even farther apart from Shane. "Please, let me at least call him?" you ask vulnerably, looking at your dad with tearful eyes. He gives you an empty look and shakes his head disdainfully.

"No, I will not. Nor will you call him from the hotel room. I want all communication with him to completely stop, Michelle!" he says, turning off the car and exiting dismissively. You stay in the car for a couple seconds, looking as the bright red light that proudly portrays 7:29 fades into the background.

You feel numb and so hurt. You just want to be back in his arms, safe and alive. You climb out the car when your father gives you an angry glare from outside, and wince when he grabs your upper arm harshly. He halfway pulls you into the hotel and into the room, as you can hardly walk in the heels you are currently wearing. The moment your father opens the door, a woman comes flying to you.

You almost fall from the force of the woman's arms, realizing it's your mother quickly. You almost break down in her arms, wanting so badly to hear Shane's voice again. "Oh, Mitchie. How could you do this to us?" she keeps repeating as she holds you, but you can hardly think of that.

He's going to freak. He's going to go crazy. "Mom, he tried to commit suicide." You confess in her ear. "I had to help him." You feel her freeze as she pulls you away to look you in the eyes. You wince as you notice her distressed and tired face. You can feel a new batch of tears come on as you look at her with pleading eyes. "Please, let me at least call him. He might try something again." you beg.

A flash of fear goes through her eyes, her mother's empathy coming through. She looks like she is going to nod, but your father cuts her off. "No. Absolutely not! I do not want my daughter anywhere near that bastard." He yells furiously. Your mother looks at him, biting her lip with tears still in her eyes.

"He is not a bastard! You are!" you scream back at him, and suddenly, you feel a sharp slap across your face. You gasp as you feel the stinging in your cheek, and you feel yourself falling. You throw out your hand to stop your fall, and feel it twist harshly. You scream at the pain in your arm, the tears in your eyes blocking your vision. Your mother gasps loudly, immediately going to you. She puts her arms around you again, looking at your father outrageously.

"What the hell are you doing Steve?" your mother yells at him. You blink back furious tears, wishing Shane was here to protect you. You wrap your arms around your body, biting back the pain in your arm. Your father scoffs, looking at you with disgusted eyes. "No, Steven! I don't care what she has done! She is my daughter and you will not lay a hand on her!" she screams, as you bury your head in her chest.

Your father had never hit your before. He had never cursed at you either. He had always treated you with respect. He had always given you things and gave you sweet smiles. He had always been good to you, even when he was obviously cheating on your mother and you started to hate him. You were his little girl.

But apparently, not anymore.

Your father steps forward menacingly. "Don't tell me what I can and cannot do Connie!" he says darkly to your mother. She shakes her head, looking at him incredulously. Suddenly, she is pulling you up gingerly, before giving him a glare.

"Mitchie and I are going to a different hotel. Call me when you have calmed down." She says, before taking the keys your father had thrown carelessly on the counter. You give him one last look filled with hate and anger, before shutting the door behind you.

Your heart is racing as the two of you wordlessly make it down the stairs. You can feel the anger radiating off your mother, and you gulp, guilt going through you instantly. "Mom, thank you for –" you try to say, but she cuts you off with a tearful glare.

"What the hell is wrong with you Mitchie? Leaving without even a note! I thought something happened to you! Don't you realize what you put me through!" she said, crying wildly as you make your way to the rental car. You don't answer, but rather look away ashamed.

You think about giving the same answer you gave your father, but this time, refrain from doing so. "I'm sorry." You say instead, because in the end, you are sorry for hurting her. She looks at you heartbrokenly, before reaching out and hugging you again.

"Mitchie, I love you, honey. I can see how hurt and angry you have been in the last few months without him, but you are too young for this. You are too young for your life to be control by a man." She tells you. You tense, hardly thinking Shane is controlling your life, but realizing he is.

Her words attack you too much for you to let them go. "Just like dad is to you." you snap back as you make your way to the car. She gives you a sharp look, and you throw your hands up, ignoring the rising pain in your arm. You touch your cheek delicately before continuing. "Mom. He is cheating on you. Please, leave him." You beg her again, but she looks away hurtfully. She starts to cry against the car door. You don't know what to do. After all, you are only a child. What do you do in this situation? "Mom?" you say softly, reaching for her.

She snaps away from your touch, and instead, unlocks the door. "I don't know any other hotel in the area." She confesses emptily, as the both of you numbly climb into the car. You sigh, before realizing this is your chance. You heart flutters as you look at the clock again.

8:13.

A full hour and then some from when you told Shane you were going to meet him. You start jittering when you think of how upset and worried he must be right now. "Mom, there's the Hilton back on exit 40." You say lightly, and she gives you a faraway confused look.

"We cannot afford that, Michelle." She tells you, dismissing you. You stare at her pointedly, until it clicks in her mind. Her eyes widen with disbelief. "That's where you and _that boy_ have been staying, isn't it? Good God, Mitchie!" she says, hitting the steering wheel. She runs a hand through her messy hair, before looking at you again. She looks you up and down, taking in your bright red dress and high heels. "Why are you dressed like that?" she asks in the same tone.

You rub your arm, noticing how quickly it is turning black and blue. You wish Shane would see it and kill him. You need your guy back. "Mom." You choke out, ignoring her question. "Please, at least let me call him." You plead emotionally. She sighs, but ignores you, finally starting the car fully and leaving the parking lot. "He's probably so worried." You say continue lamely.

Your mother swallows harshly, before reaching in her purse and taking out her phone. You sit up straight as you grab it, your heart beating a million miles an hour. You quickly dial his number, shaking as you do. You breathe out sharply as you put the phone to your ear, hearing the rings nervously.

"Hello?" you suck in deeply as you hear the desperation in his voice.

"Shane." You squeak out, tears getting caught in your throat. "Help please." You cry out, shaking roughly as you hear his voice. You don't even notice your mother looking at you. You do, however, notice him gasping.

"Mitchie? Where are you? Are you okay? Do you want me to call the cops? I'll pick you up, honey! No matter where you are." He says so quickly, and you close your eyes. His voice sounds like home. He sounds so worried, just like you have been predicting.

"My dad – I fucking hate him Shane." You finally let out, looking at your mother pointedly. She sighs, but looks away, distress obvious in her eyes. "I don't know how he found me, but all of a sudden, he's at my door before dragging me to his stupid car. And then, the fucking asshole had the nerve to hit me." You tell him hysterically, trying to get a rise out of him. You want him with you. You want him to protect you, no matter what.

"Mitchie, don't cause more problems than necessary, please." Your mother orders sharply. You ignore her and instead focus back onto Shane. You hear him freeze, and you know he's going to do something.

"Excuse me?" he asks, his voice low and dangerous. You shiver, suddenly regretting telling him. You gulp and don't say anything, which Shane takes as an admission. "Where the hell are you, Mitchie?" he questions in the same dark tone.

You sigh, wiping your eyes. "On the road with my mom. I have no idea where exactly." You say before looking at your mother for help. She looks like she's ready to break down, so you turn to look outside. "We just passed exit 29." You tell Shane, gulping. You rub your arm again.

He growls. "Tell your mom to take you to exit 40, back to the hotel." He tells you, and you scoff. He sighs angrily when he understands you have already tried. "Fine, then wherever you guys stop, call me and I'll pick you up, okay Mitch?" he says, trying to keep his voice calm.

You murmur your agreement before breathing out tearfully. "God, Shane." You moan, digging yourself deeper into the seat.

"Oh, honey. Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" he asks, his voice turning gentle. You know he is doing everything in his power not to lash out right now. You gulp again, noticing the exits are getting bigger. You look to your mom, but she is not paying attention to you.

"He just slapped my cheek, but when I fell, I hurt my arm." You explain, wiping your eyes again, barely realizing what you are saying anymore. You look back to your mother who is falling apart at the wheel. "Hold on a second, Shane. I'll call you back, baby. I need to do something." You cut him off, turning to your mother again. Now that he knows you are okay, you're not as hyped up.

"Mom, please. It's exit 40, okay? Please. You know how bad I was, and now you know how bad he was. You cannot do that to us. I really do love him, and I know he loves me. Please don't separate us." You beg again, looking at her fiercely. You feel bad attacking her with your past actions, but you know it is the only way.

She closes her eyes briefly. "Mitchie." She says sadly, but doesn't continue. You know what she means though. It's the 'you are way too young' spiel again, of which you are fucking tired of. You shake your head at her.

"No, mom. Think about it. We can get away from _him_. Let's move to California. We can get a small apartment there. Shane said he can get me the tutor that works with Nate. And-and maybe I can get a record deal or something or go to auditions to help with money." You tell her, pleading with her. She scoffs and looks at you sorrowfully.

"Mitchie, get off this dream." You open your mouth to argue, but she cuts you off. "What happens when the two of you break up, huh?" she asks pointedly. You shake your head immediately.

"We're not going to break up." you say to her, and she gives you a look. "We're not going to break up!" you say fiercely to her, your eyes bright. "I love him, mom." You choke out again for the millionth time. "I need him." You whisper, looking at her desperately.

She looks at you, swallowing, before shaking her head. "No, Michelle." She says sharply, pulling the mom card. "I will not allow you to go with him. Our plane leaves tomorrow afternoon at one back to Newark, and that's final." She tells you sternly. You close your eyes, feeling the warm tears fall on your cheeks.

"Mom." You whisper. You can literally feel your heart breaking. You can hardly breathe at all. What the hell can you do?

Heavy silence fills the car as you drive down the highway. Your mother clears her throat, but you are too numb to care. Instead, you look at the most recent exit. Number 39 – only one more to go. You hold your breath as she moves to the right lanes and starts tapping her fingers on the wheel. "I'll let you have a couple hours with him as a goodbye, okay? I'll go hang out in the lobby or something." She says gently.

You listen to your heartbeat before turning to her. "Mom, please don't make me say goodbye." You whisper, but she shakes her head.

"Now or never, Michelle, but you are getting on that plane tomorrow. I'm allowing you one last time. Just promise you will not do anything stupid, like run away again or…" she says trailing off. "I know you're not a child per say anymore, but you are way too young for what the two of you are doing. Don't sleep with him Mitchie. It will only make it harder for you to let him go." She advices, going towards the big sign that said 'Hilton'.

Suddenly, you are back in front of the hotel you were dragged out of two hours ago, and you automatically call Shane again. "Mitchie?" he asks right away, still worried.

"Yeah. It's me." You stifle cry. It's hurt so much to talk now. "Can you come down? I'm at the entrance." You whisper, holding back a sob. You're going to have to leave him. You're going to have to say goodbye. You're going to have to end it.

You hear his sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God. I'll be right down." He says, and you can hear him scuffle quickly through the phone. You snap the phone shut, before turning to your mother again. She is looking at you strangely.

"How can two people fall for each other so quickly?" she mumbles, but you look away. You hesitantly climb out of the car, bunching up the red dress in your hands. You almost run into the lobby, stopping at the entrance. Some people look at you oddly; you must look like a mess. You embarrassedly shuffle as you wait for him, before looking to where the elevator is.

When you finally see Shane your heart breaks again. You hardly notice the blue button up shirt or the nice black skinny jeans. Instead, you only see his eyes and the doleful look in them. Your feet do not feel like yours as you walk to him, before throwing your arms around his body. It might have only been a couple of hours, but you missed his smell and his touch so much. It was as if it has been years since you have last seen him.

And your mother and father want you to stop seeing him?

His light stubble tickles the top of your head as he tucks your head under his chin, holding you protectively. "Shh, honey. I'm here now. Where did he hurt you?" he says gently, and you realize you are crying in his shoulder. He rubs your back softly, pushing your body to his, before kissing your temple. "It's okay. It's okay." He repeats over and over again, suddenly looking away from you. Keeping your head on his chest, you look to your left and notice people just staring openly at you.

And just like an episode of Gossip Girl, there was three teenage girls snapping pictures of the two of you on their cell phones.

You moan tearfully and bury your face in his chest again. He hugs you tightly, tucking you back under his chin. "Ms. Torres, I'm sorry about all this." He says while looking passed you. Freezing, you realize that he saw your mother, and even better, your mother saw you. "I never meant for those pictures of Mitchie to hit the internet. I wanted to protect her, not put her in danger." He tells her, and you pull away from him.

Not even looking at your mother, you move passed him, already heading to your room. He grabs your wrist, but you don't turn to him. You don't want to face him. "Go." You hear your mother's voice whisper behind you. "I'll be back at ten tomorrow. She better be here, Shane. Or I swear to God, I will call the cops, and I know that's the last thing you want." It surprises you she doesn't say it threateningly, but rather just numbly.

Shane nods anyways, turning around and suddenly guiding you back upstairs. The two of you do not talk as you cry, but rather, he just holds you again. It feels so nice to be in his arms, and you really cannot picture being without him. When you get back to your room, you smile sadly at the roses perched on top of the table. Picking at the bright red petals as he closes the door, you randomly feel your legs give out.

You fall to the ground, the red dress around you, but he still does not say a word. Instead, he comes and puts his arms under your legs and against your back. He picks you up, and for a second it feels like you're flying. He puts you gently on the bed, and you look up at him with sad, tear-filled eyes. He wipes the wetness away tenderly, looking like he wants to cry as well. "Are you okay?" he asks, his voice cracking. You know he means about what your dad did to you, but you can hardly feel _that_ pain anymore.

"No." you groan, shaking your head on the pillow. Your hair goes everywhere as your heart keeps breaking. He puts a hand on your cheek – the one your father hit you – and cradles it, before leaning down and kissing you softly.

"We'll be okay." He whispers, but his voice sounds too far away to be real. You nod, even though you don't believe his words, and bring him back to your lips. You don't know when you will see him again. You don't know how anything will work. All you know is that you love him and you don't want to leave him. Briefly remembering your mother's advice, you put your hands on his chest and push up his shirt. He bites his lip, pulling away slightly to look you in the eyes. "You sure?" he whispers, his sweet breath tickling your nose.

You run your fingers through his thick hair and nod, barely looking at him. He sighs but pulls you up. He reaches behind you, and unzips the dress he bought you. His fingers dance along the soft bare skin, before kissing your shoulder gently. He moves away from you to peal the dress off your body, making you shiver as the cold air hits your chest. You look at his face for the first time, and notice him staring straight at you.

Never breaking eye contact, his fingers lightly graze your breasts, before pulling the dress off you. He puts it on the chair next to the bed, before returning to you. He puts a hand on your shoulder lightly to push you back on the bed, and finally notices the bruising on your arm. He gasps, his eyes darkening as he gives you a look. You close your eyes, burying your head further in the pillow.

You snap open your eyes when you feel his lips softly press against the tender skin of your arm. His hands softly go to your stomach, rubbing it soothingly, before going to the edge of your underwear. He pulls it down carefully, keeping his eyes on your face the entire time. You gasp again as the cold air hits your now naked body, but he quickly goes back on top of you. You moan at the warmth he provides, crying as you realize this won't last forever.

He kisses you softly again. "Shh. It's going to be okay, honey." He promises again, as his hands run up and down your sides. You close your eyes again, fighting back the pain, before reaching up and undoing the buttons on his shirt. He helps you after you realize your hands are too shaky to do it, so you go down to his pants. You kiss him again, except this time a little deeper. He breathes in sharply as your fingers press on his abs.

He throws his shirt numbly before helping you take off his pants. Suddenly, the both of you are naked, and it makes you want to cry again. He sighs sadly, ready to pull back and stop, but you push him back to you. Kissing his lips again, you forcibly move your legs so they can wrap around his hips. You are shaking like crazy as he buries his head in your neck, and runs his hand down your body again.

His hand is so warm as he guides himself inside of you. You almost scream as he thrusts in. The feeling is so odd but so familiar. He keeps kissing you as you accommodate his size, feeling your body react to him in seconds. The moment he starts to move again, you close your eyes once more."I love you." he whispers again and again, as he thrusts in and out of you. it feels so crazy and amazing and horrible that you feel like you are going to explode.

He puts his face to yours, so that your lips are moving against each other but you're not really kissing. "Shane." You moan, moving your hips against his. You feel full and, cliché as it might sound, complete. You two were made for this. Sure, you can hold a conversation. But it's the way that your bodies react to each other that sets you apart from all the other in-love couples.

You grab hold of his biceps as he thrusts in you a little harder. You feel him push against that fucking spot that always makes you scream. Your vision is blurry, but you don't know if it's because of an impending orgasm or if you are crying once again.

All you know is that you are saying goodbye without really saying it.

**XXX**

**Wow that was sad! I don't think I have ever really been on the brink of crying before…**

**Anyways, sorry for the long wait but it has been a busy week. I've had prom, prom weekend, honors convocation, and studying for APs!! So that's harsh. And then I found out my boy Joe Jonas is just changing into a man way too fast. I guess everyone has to admit the kid is not a kid anymore – just like Mitchie wants. Lol.**

**Okay, thanks for all the support. Hopefully this chapter will get as much reviews as the last. Maybe get it up to 620? **

**Love ya,**

**Sandra **

**PS – I love love love **_**long**_** reviews…. And I love you guys for all the kind words you have said. I hardly believe any of you when you guys say this is the best mature CR story, but thanks for lying. Lol XD**


	22. Chapter 22

"**Stuck in a room of staring faces. Caught in a nightmare. Can't wake up" Paranoid – Jonas Brothers**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 22

It's your first school day back from Hawaii and you have never wanted to avoid school as much as today. You are literally shaking as you get into your mother's car, gulping harshly. "Honey, it's gonna be okay." Your mother says, but it is too forced. Even she realizes today will be hell.

Especially after those pictures.

Shane's hands were under your shirt at that moment, even thought you do not remember him feeling you up at the concert. Your legs are halfway around his, and your hands are wrapped into his thick curly hair. But most importantly, the two of you are in a serious embrace – lips latched and tongues rubbing. Every single magazine, every single gossip site, and every single person has seen those pictures.

Including every single person at your school.

You jump as you are ripped from your horrifying thoughts by both the car moving and your phone ringing. You look at the caller id, knowing it could only be two people since you recently changed your number. "Hey, Sierra." You can barely mutter into the phone. You hear the nervousness in her voice before she even talks, and you know that she is going to tell you something bad. "What's up?" you add lamely as your mother pulls out of the driveway.

Sierra does not say anything for a couple seconds. "They trashed your locker." She confesses wearily. You close your eyes and do not answer her. "I'm sorry. It was already like this when I got here. Everyone is talking. I don't know how to stop it." She continues after a while. You sigh, feeling like crying but at the same time feeling like screaming.

"Whatever, Sierra. It comes with the territory." You say sadly, as your mother drives onto to the school's street. "Listen, I'm about to be there. I'll see you inside." You do not even realize what you just said until you hang up the phone and you are in front of your school. "Please, don't make me go in." you blurt out hopelessly to your mother. She winces but looks away from you, and you know that means you have to.

Wordlessly, you grab your book bag and get out of the car. As soon as you do, that paranoid feeling that people are watching you hits you. Honestly, you have never felt this way before. You are used to being ignore and casted off. It's okay, in the end, because you're good at that. You are not one to be the center of attention, and yet here you are.

Not only does everyone at school know your name now, but every fan-girl in country has officially cursed you out.

You are the slutty whorey bitchy attention-wanting using ugly fat loser Shane Grey hooked up with, according to the many reports and comments on the internet. The insults and voicemails you had on your old phone number were horrible. Your email address had also been given out, and when you got home you had a thousand messages. You would have had more, but messages automatically get deleted after a while.

They all said the same thing though: "You are worthless and Shane only got with you because you seduced him somehow because you are a low class white trash slut that cannot do a damn thing. You are obviously using him to get famous, and you most likely are the one who leaked your telephone number, those photos, and this email address." Worst still the emails are usually signed with Shane Grey's true fan or Shane Grey's future love or Shane Grey's lover or some bullshit like that.

Always nice to hear.

"How was Hawaii, Ms. Virgin? Oh, wait…" some guy calls out, purposely trailing off suggestively. You look up to the see the amused smirking boy laughing with some of his friends on the steps to the front of the school. One of the girls with him whom you have never seen snickers.

"Was he good in bed? You can kinda tell with those tight pants that he is big, but knowing Shane and his record label, that might be socks stuffed down there." She says giggling, as the rest of the group bursts out laughing.

Another girl faces you as if you have been best friends forever, giving you a wide smile. "Did it hurt?" she asks conversationally, but her eyes are bright with laughter. "How long did he last usually?" she tries to ask, but she chokes up at the end. The guy that talked to you first grabs her and starts grinding into her mischievously. She swats him away playfully. "Hey, Brad, come on. I'm not Mitchie. I don't do that." She smirks loudly, obviously wanting to attack you.

Your heart is beating too fast for you to listen to them anymore. You really want to turn around and run back home, but instead you wordlessly walk pass them, your eyes glued to the floor. Their laughter is still in your ears as you enter the building. Immediately, you notice the stares, and in the end, you kind of understand. Nothing happens in your small town, and here you are – national news.

You never thought you would make the front page of People Magazine before.

You wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans, walking purposely to your locker until you remember people have trashed it. You sigh but continue on, clutching your books in front of you like a shield. You can see your principal, the janitor and Sierra in front of your locker, picking things up. When your principal sees you, she gives you a tight lip smile. "Don't worry Michelle. We will find whoever did this and punish them." She tells you fiercely.

But you know no one will ever find who did it. You nod though, and face your locker. Sierra gives you a sad smile as she bunches up a load of magazine pages and throws them away. You want to laugh; people coated your locker with the pictures taken of you. The principal gives you another annoyed look you know is not targeted at you, before going down the hall to yell at some kids. The janitor ignores you as he throws paper and garbage into the can.

You turn to Sierra again, trying to talk to her, but you are interrupted by a redheaded girl bumping harshly into you. You have lost so much weight in the past couple months, the impact almost sends you flying. You gasp and look up startled at the girl, but she does not say anything to you, much less apologize. Her eyes are focused on you, with deep hate and jealousy revolving in the green orbs.

She looks like she wants to kill you.

You shiver, gulping slightly. "Sorry." You say, but you do not know what you are apologizing for. She scoffs and moves passed you, leaving you staring at nothing. You turn to look at her retreating back, only to notice the several other girls glaring at you with angry frowns.

You never thought your life would be like this. You have never had a 'Tess' per say at your school. You have never had one specific or even any girl mock you or make fun of you. They avoided you, like you avoided them. You come to school, learn, and go home. But now, it seems you have become the target of every girl at school…

And every girl in the nation. Unless the news has hit overseas, in which case, every girl in the world now hates you.

You tell that to Sierra, mostly because you feel sorry for yourself. You never dreamt you would be in this situation. Sierra gives you a pointed look, indicating she is still mad at you for skipping town and lying to her all this time. "Mitchie, stop being so overdramatic. So what if every girl in the entire world hates you? You have Shane Grey. Stop being such a cry baby!" She snaps at you, and you step back in silent shock.

How the hell do you respond to that?

"Thanks, Sierra. You're a true friend." You whisper coldly, and she glares at you, before picking up another defamed article angrily. She crunches it up in her fist, her eyes bright with fury. You wince at the noise the paper makes as she throws it in the garbage.

"I've been here for ten minutes, Mitchie! I've picked up everything for _you_! I called the principal and everything. I got the janitor to help. And you? You come here and _watch_ us work! And then, you complain about how every girl must hate you now and how every girl is planning your demise and blah blah blah! Suck it up and stop being such a whiney bitch. You got _Shane Grey!_ Shane Grey, the biggest teen star right now, and you didn't even tell me! Do you know how it made me feel to know that my best friend and Shane fucking Grey are together through E! News?" she bellows at you, the truth as to why she is mad coming out.

If people weren't focusing on you before, they definitely are now.

You scoff at her incredulously, rubbing your right arm self consciously. You cannot even look at her as she steps away from you, but keep your eyes glued to the floor. People all around you are snickering, their eyes on your every move. "You know what, Mitchie? Go to hell. I can't stand the person you have become. You used to be this cool hopeful girl, but you've turned into this depressed hybrid of yourself. I hope you're happy with your famous boyfriend." She spits out, before walking past you.

You gulp softly as the attention goes from the two of you to just you. People all around you are either laughing or just blatantly staring at you. Not looking at them or even to your locker, you start walking to your homeroom. As soon as you walk in the room, it goes silent, but you refuse to acknowledge any of them. Instead, you grab your iPod and put the speakers loud enough to drown the world out but soft enough for you not to get yelled at.

You can feel tears rush to your eyes as the sad song lyrics hit your hurt heart. You miss him so much, and you hate this life. You want to be with him, not here in a classroom filled with ignorant, moronic kids that strive to have the next piece of gossip under them. Ten minutes later, a girl you never talked to comes over to the empty chair in front of you, just as the bell rings. You want to ignore her, but she's making it deliberately obvious that she wants to talk to you with forceful eyes and impatient sighs. "Yeah?" you whisper numbly, your mind is in a different place.

You can see his light brown eyes sparkle with green. You can feel his curly thick hair between your fingers. You can taste him in your mouth. You can smell his cologne still on your skin. You can hear his soft amazing voice singing "Secret Valentine" to you, even though he did it back when you were back at Camp Rock.

"Hey. I'm Riley." She explains quickly, almost dismissively. "Can you hook me up with Nate? I'll be your best friend." She pleads, before putting on a charming smile. You scoff again, except this time it is almost a laugh. _I'll be your best friend._ You realize that now you don't even have that anymore.

Your tone is extremely icy when you talk. "As enticing as that is, can you please get away from me?" you say meanly, but inside, you feel like you are about to break. The girl's eyebrows rise in surprise and you can see her getting mad. Before she can argue back, the bell rings, cutting her off. Without another glance, you grab you backpack and leave her.

You hate the stares. You hate the taunts. You hate the users. You just hate this whole thing, and it is finally getting to you. You want to break something, or at least, leave while you still have a little dignity. You angrily focus on the ground, avoiding everyone carefully, as you go to your first period. But you are walking too slow, and the bell rings, signifying that you are late to class. You sigh, but don't speed up.

Why bother?

Suddenly, someone's nails dig into your right arm, before hauling you roughly towards them. You let out a small scream, but the halls are empty. A cloth pouch goes over your head, and you are suddenly bathed in darkness. You scream louder this time, but you are thrown sideways and a door closes shut. You fall to the ground, but thankfully not very hard. "Shut the fuck up, bitch!" a girl's voice says furiously from above. You whimper and try to take off the bag from over your head, but two other hands grab yours.

That's when you realize there is more than one person there.

The person's hands scratch into your wrists to stop you from struggling. You scream again, try to get up and kick at the same time. You must look crazy to the people in the room, but you don't care. "Don't touch me!" you yell. "Let go of me." You say, trying to be fierce. A hand suddenly slaps you across your face, before a kick goes to your legs to swipe them from under you. You gasp as your knees hit the floor roughly, and the people laugh cruelly.

Your hands go to the cloth bag again, and this time, take it off. You do not recognize any of the girls – because they're all girls – in front of you, except one: the ring leader. The girl in front of you is the girl who bumped into you this morning, and she has a smug smile on her face. Her eyes are intensely angry, though, and she looks murderous. You gulp softly, before trying to get up again. This time no one stops you.

"What the hell is this?" you say, rubbing your wrist where the girl dug her nails in. The leader gives you a sly smile.

"Oh, like you don't know." She spits out, before looking to another girl. Suddenly, all six of the girls circle you, blocking the exit. Your eyes widen in fear as they come close enough to you to probably really hurt you. "Mitchie Torres." She whispers, looking at you critically. "What the fuck do you have that we don't? You have no tits. You're fat. You cannot even dress right." she scoffs, shaking her head. "What the fuck does he see in you?" she wonders maliciously.

With every word, you feel her stab your self confidence. The anger you had before to Riley slowly disappears until you are genuinely afraid. You can _take_ an annoying fan-girl in homeroom, because you're not really fighting her; you're just telling her off. Here, however, these girls look dangerous. You cannot breathe as you realize you might have to actually physically defend yourself against these girls just in case.

"I don't know, Rachel." Another girl snickers harshly. "Maybe, she just put out quickly. If rumors are true, supposedly she fucked him a week after knowing him." She says with an eyebrow raised, looking at you up and down purposely.

You suppress the urge to wince; you did sleep with him after only a week. How the hell would she have known that? "Look. Just leave me alone, will you?" you mutter darkly, trying to push passed them. It is probably the worst idea you have ever had.

The first punch comes from your left, but after that, they keep coming from every angle. Pain surges through your body, as you are thrown to the ground. Nails from two different girls dig into your skin again. You try to fight back, but it is really no use. There too many of them, that your defense is quickly overtaken. You don't even realize you are crying, as another girl pulls your hair harshly. There are a couple kicks to your stomach, and a couple slaps to your face before you realize you need to go into the fetal position.

And then, it's over.

After the girls realize they cannot hit you anymore because of your stance, they back off. It couldn't have last more than five minutes, but it felt like an eternity to you. You are breathing hard, still in the fetal position. You hesitantly look up, noticing the blood smeared on your knee. You wipe your face with your sleeve, barely glancing at the now red fabric as you shiver. You are shaking so hard, and the tears sting your eyes.

You can see two of the girls lose their smug smile, and instead gain wide eyes. They look at their bloody knuckles in shock, before looking at you incredulously again. "Rachel, we should stop." One of them say and you notice Rachel is shaking as well. She's scared.

All of them are.

You realize that they just realize what they did. They open their mouths in horror, before looking at Rachel pointedly. Rachel clears her throat, and looks at you menacingly. "Listen, bitch. Stop messing with Shane or stop coming to this school. Trust me; next time it will be worse." She spits out, before looking at the other girls. They nod, but they itch to the door quickly. Suddenly, you are all alone again.

You whimper, as the fat tears roll down your face. You can feel a deep cut just under your eye from one of the girl's rings. You're scared to move, just in case they broke something. You shake as you bury your head in your knees again, too scared to even breathe. The pain is too much and you feel like you're going to faint, but you are back to high alert when you hear the door open.

"Oh, my God." The person – a girl – says in surprise. She immediately drops whatever she is holding to go to you. "Are you okay? I'll get the nurse." She promises, but she still goes to your side. You look up frighten, only to see Riley, the girl from homeroom. She looks like she is about to cry as she puts her arms around you. You whimper as touches a sensitive spot on your shoulder. "Shh, honey. It's okay. I'll help you." she whispers comfortingly, putting your head on her breasts softly. She runs her fingers through your now matted hair, crying suddenly. "I don't know what to do." She confesses, mostly to herself.

You shiver, as you wipe your face again with your sleeve, and wince at the pain. "Wait here." Riley says panicking, as she puts your head softly on the wall. You blink at her, as you lose consciousness slowly. Blocks of black enter your vision as you wait for Riley to return, and you moan from the pain.

The next thing you know you are in the nurse's office getting bandaged up. "I don't know what happened, Ms. Torres. All I know is that Miss Peterson found her in the bathroom all beat up. I will try my best to find out – Yes I have talked to the principal – No, I have not called the hospital. Mitchie doesn't appear to have anything broken. Why? Do you want me to call the ER?" the nurse talks, as she dabs on your forehead with alcohol.

You look up and shake your head. "No, I'm fine." You manage to croak out. Riley looks at you sympathetically, rubbing your arm. "I just want to go home." You say, putting your head against the cold leathery bed. The nurse sighs and tells your request to your mother.

"We will still need to call the police." The nurse says pointedly, but you ignore her. You just want to get out of here as soon as possible. The nurse sighs again. "Your mother said she will be here in ten minutes." She tells you, before giving you an ice bag. You take it numbly, and put it on your stomach as Riley helps you lay back down.

"Here, I got you." she whispers softly, and you realize she brought your book bag with her. You nod at her through dim eyes, and wait for your mother.

When she finally comes, she is screaming at the principal and the principal is try to get you to talk, but you just want to go home. Riley is sent back to class, but no one wants to let you out of their site. Your mother is threatening to sue the school, while your principal is taking out school forms your mother had previously signed saying the school isn't liable for any damages. Again, you beg to go home, still shaking, still crying. Finally, your mother agrees, but not before glaring sharply at your principal and telling her that you are no longer a student at John Adams High School.

Well, at least one good thing came out of this.

As soon as you get home, your mother draws out a hot bath, before helping you take off your clothes. You have only been naked in front of one person before, and that is Shane, but you're in too much pain to feel awkward. You look at the bruises already forming on your body as your mother curses and cries. "Mom." You choke out, and she looks at your face as she washes your hair softly. She gives you a look that says you can ask for the moon right now, and she will give it to you.

After all, she's the one who made you go to school, even after you beg her to stay.

"I need Shane." You tell her, as salty tears fall down your cut up face, and for a second you think maybe you were wrong in assuming she would give you anything, but then she nods dismissively. You almost ask for her phone, before realizing a problem. "Dad?" you say stiffly, as she goes back to your hair.

Your mother stiffens, but shakes her head. "He's going to stay at your uncles for a little while. I don't know when he will be back." She confesses, and at any other time, you would have gasped, but now all you can do is think of Shane's arms.

"Okay." You whisper, before looking at her sadly. "Can I borrow your phone?" you ask, but she shakes her head. You tense, your eyes filling with tears, wondering why in the world did she change her mind.

"I called him already. He said he will be here in four hours. Don't worry, honey. Everything is going to be okay." She promises you, but all you do is start to cry again.

**XXX**

**Ahh! Sorry for the long wait guys, but first I had serious AP tests (English & US history) and then my internet went down. Grr. But I'm back now, and waiting for next wed when I don't ever have to worry about high school ever again.**

**I tried to take this chapter as seriously as possible. Bullies terrorize people, not only physically or with spoken words, but also with the internet. I tried to put myself in Miley's, in Demi's, in Selena's, in even Camilla's position where they all must get serious hate over knowing/dating the JBs. It must suck, but I guess they one up Mitchie in that they are famous and have body guards…**

**Next chapter will have a ****furious**** Shane who may or may not beat the shit out of someone or another. The next one will be up at 660-ish!**

**Love ya,**

**Sandra**

**PS – a couple of you guys hit a story line I might/maybe will go down. Which begs the question, is this story becoming predictable?????? Oh boy!**


	23. Chapter 23

"**And then we both go down together, we may stay there forever. I'll just try to get up. And I'm sorry this wasn't easy." I Hate To Be You When People Find Out what This Song Is About – Mayday Parade**

**AN: The number 23 is very special to me. It means the world to me. So this may be a very intense chapter, a very hurt chapter. I don't know. Just know that I'm in pain as I write this, because I miss my boyfriend more than you ever know. I love him, like she loves him. Okay, I'm crying… read on.**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 23

You did not think that you would sleep for that long when your mother helped you into your bed earlier, but with fluttering eyes, you realize just how dark it is outside. For a second, you think your long brown bangs are obscuring your visions, as quite possibly the strangest scene is playing in front of you. You rub away the sleep in your eyes, wincing as pain surges through your arm. You try very hard to ignore the aches, though.

What's going on in front of you is just too strange.

For a while, you do not spoil the moment, but rather, stay quite. You look at them closely, while trying to be very still and inconspicuous. You do not know how to feel about your mother and your boyfriend interacting, but there they are. You eyes immediately go to your boyfriend that you have not seen in nearly four days and notice he is quite distraught. He is shaking; his fingers keep hitting the hard surface of your mahogany desk in perfect rhythm, as your mother speaks to him from the other side in a low voice.

His face, for once, is completely unreadable. He looks different – very different. You squint, trying to make out just what changed in the last three days. His hair is back to being flat-ironed and perfect and he has slight facial hair, but that cannot be all, can it?

His eyes are intense as they look at your mother, like they want to burn a hole through her. He bites his lip roughly, and suddenly, he looks dangerous. He looks like he wants to kill someone, and you know from experience, especially when he hit Nate in the face, that he does not handle his anger very well. "I don't care." he says hoarsely, his voice rough as if he has been screaming for an entire night.

Your mother sighs, and you immediately shut your eyes. "Mitchie's sleeping." She whispers exhaustedly. Nobody says anything for a while, and suddenly, all that can be heard is Shane's persistent tapping of his fingers. His breaths are shallow and long, as if he was choking. You turn around in bed to turn away from them, feeling the tears rush to your eyes as you lay on your injured arm.

You hesitantly put more weight on your left side, and another wave of intense pain goes through you as the bruises along your ribs come to head with the firm mattress. You cannot stop the moan of discomfort from leaving your rosy lips, but you immediately wish you had. You hear the loud scraping of a chair the second after, and your mother take a sharp intake of breath. You squeeze your eyes tighter as you feel the bed dip under someone's weight.

A strong smell instantly hits your nose, almost choking you. It's a mixture of aromas, most notably cologne. Yet, you can tell, especially as he comes closer to you, presumably to check you out, the undeniable smell of cigarette smoke. "Mitchie, you okay?" Shane asks softly, yet his voice is still rough. He puts a callous hand on your cheek to wipe away the moisture you didn't even realize you had.

You sniff and nod, but don't open your eyes. You bring your hand wordlessly to his and intertwine your fingers together, before pulling yourself up carefully. He rips his hand away from yours to help you up, making you shiver from his grip. Your now opened eyes meet his, and you do not know whose eyes – yours or his – are more intense. Shane looks like he is in the midst of a huge battle, his usually hazel eyes a dark brown. You, on the other hand, are just disappointed in him.

You expect more from him.

He does not give you a smile, but rather just leans in and kisses you. His lips taste bitter and harsh, just like whiskey. For the split second his lips work against yours, you drink in his addictions, along with the putrid perfume of smoke. You pull away roughly, eyes stinging again as you twist your head to your mother. She has her eyes close, but you can see the pain circulating off her. You jump slightly when Shane takes a deep intake of breath, and you look at him with silent questioning

His callous fingers go to your collarbone that had been exposed to trace the bruise on your neck, and his eyes become readable again. Your heart nearly breaks when you see the fierce guilt and hurt radiating so strongly off him; he looks like he does not know what to do with himself. Your eyes reconnect again, but you cannot shake the feelings inside of you.

You do not know how to feel.

You are tittering between being extremely relieved that he is here with you and extremely dishearten that he resorted back to his old habits. You can tell he knows you're disappointed, because his eyes start to water. His fingers dance along your sensitive skin lightly, as he gulps and runs a hand through his perfectly coifed hair. "I'm so sorry." He chokes out, coming closer to you again. He leans his forehead against yours, and once again, the smell of alcohol and smoke hit you.

"Shane." You whisper softly, but your voice is hoarse. He winces and backs away, but not before stealing a light kiss on your lips. In one respect, you cannot help but reciprocate, but on the other one, your mother is right at the desk. You put your hand on his waist gently, and he moves his body closer to yours. You notice that he wants to cry, but will not – either because your mother is in the room or because his ego. Either case, he is keeping everything inside.

You put your hand on his scratchy cheek, watching him as he leans into it as if he had no other human contact for ages. He kisses your palm, as his hand goes down your injured arm. He tenderly touches the bruises, making you shiver and want more of his touch. Your disappointment wants you to stop you from leaning in to him and falling into his arm, but your pain and heart tells you otherwise.

He hugs you back, putting his lips on your neck gently. His arms circle your body, and you rest your head on his chest. For a while, you both stay that way, comforting each other and telepathically telling the other it will be okay in the end. Suddenly, a loud beeping starts to fill the room, and you push yourself off Shane to look at your mother. You almost forgot she was still here with you. She is looking at her phone exhaustedly, before opening and closing it. "What's wrong mom?" you ask her, but your voice is still hoarse. She shakes her head, before looking at you and giving you a concerned look.

"How are you feeling, honey? Do you want some Tylenol?" she asks you softly, already reaching in her purses. You nod softly, as you try to find a way to sit without causing too much discomfort. Shane pushes back your hair as it falls forward, leaving his hand on your cheek. You look up at him, and he looks at you pointedly, asking you mentally if it is really bad. You break eye contact and take the pills and a water bottle from your mother.

Shane sighs and fluffs up the pillow behind you. "You should sleep, Mitch." He suggests, before clearing his throat. You shake your head, grasping your waist hurtfully as you lay back. You look at your mother as she puts her hand on your forehead, and you can tell something else is bugging her. You raise your eyebrows at her purposely, and she shrugs her shoulders. Suddenly, she is looking sternly at the both of you.

"I don't want to do this, but I have to go to work. The only reason they let me out this morning is because I volunteered to take the night shift." She explains, her tone rough. She turns her piercing eyes over to Shane. "I do not feel comfortable leaving the two of you by yourself." She says, gulping. For a moment, you can see how much she is struggling inside of her to trust him – to trust you – and you look away.

Shane bites his lip. "Ms. Torres, nothing bad is gonna happen. Trust me. I'll make sure that Mitchie is okay and well rested. Nothing's gonna happen to her – not with me around." He promises. It surprises your mother how adamant Shane is about you, making her eyes widen at his behavior. He turns to her, his eyes bright and fierce as he dares her to think differently. She purses her lips, before moving to you.

She kisses you on your cheek, halfway pushing Shane away from you. You see her scrunch up her nose, and your heart drops. It sucks so much that the first time since camp that Shane and your mother talk, he smells like sad mistakes and horrible addictions. Softly, she leans forward until she is speaking in your ear. "No funny business, mija." She orders you sternly. "Go back to sleep." She tells you louder, as she pulls away.

You don't answer her, but rather just nod. She gives Shane one last hard look, before leaving the room. As soon as she steps out, the atmosphere changes in a second. Shane pushes himself close to you, his eyes suddenly bright with hysteria and fear. "Are you okay? Who the hell were those bitches? I swear to fucking God…" he trails off his angry rant when he sees your defiant stare. He breathes out slowly, before putting his hand on your injured ribs. "Are you okay, baby?" he asks again, but his voice is softer this time.

You glare at him sadly. "Shane, have you been drinking?" you ask, ignoring his question. He winces softly, looking away from you. Scoffing angrily, you put your hand on his scratchy cheek, making him look at you. "And since when do you smoke?" you ask him pointedly, and in all honestly, with concern. He stares at you for a long time, and you see his eyes glisten with tears before he swallows hard.

"Since my girlfriend was attack by my fans." He says in a low voice. He breathes in a sob, before looking down. Tears softly roll down his face, breaking your heart again. You carefully move closer to him, grimacing at the pain, and put a hand on his damp cheek. You can see it in his eyes – in his spirit – how guilty and angry he feels. You connect your foreheads together, and just look into his eyes. "I'm sorry." He whispers, and you nod, softly closing your eyes before leaning into him.

You moan in pain again, gritting your teeth as your senses come alive with pain. He sighs raggedly, before separating from you warily. He leans his forehead against yours again, and you can see that the tears have doubled. He leans in and kisses your lips lightly, before bringing you down gently on the bed. Suddenly, he is showering you in kisses. Each kiss is like medicine. Each kiss is like a gem. Each kiss is needed.

He soothingly puts his lips on your collarbone, where a sizable bruise is, before lowering himself to your stomach. He pushes your thin shirt up to just under your breasts and kisses the swelling on your ribs, while his hands massage your legs skillfully. You moan again, shifting to make yourself more comfortable, and you look at him hard again. Your eyes widen as you watch him work on your body.

He's here.

It just hits you that Shane is here with you. He's not in California. He's not in Hawaii. He's not with Norah or Nate or Jason or anyone. He's here. With you. Your eyes fill with tears as you look him over, from his straight hair to his warm hands. You've missed him so much. If wasn't for the constant surveillance from your parents and your brother, you would have ran away again back into his arms. Can you really blame Shane for resorting to alcohol?

You reach down, taking his hands in yours. You intertwine your fingers as he goes up your body, tears running down his face quietly. You give him a concern face, but pull him to you to kiss him again. You deepen the sweet kiss immediately, tasting him and all his mistakes and his faults and his love. He loves you – you know that with the way he holds you and kisses back. You know it from the way the tears fall down his face, rolling on your cheeks in the end. You know it from the way his hands are still rubbing your aching thighs and throbbing ribs. You know it from the way he is here with you.

You have come so far, and every time you think about just how far he actually has come, it surprises you even more. As his fingers lightly massage you and tongue softly battles with yours, you mind goes to your first time – to his first time. It was a week after you met him, and you were, in all honesty, scared of him and the easily attained power he had over you. You were eating in the cafeteria with Tess, trying your hardest to be accepted by her. She was talking animatedly about Shane and how much he likes green eyes (and she should know because she read it from People Magazine).

You remember drinking in every word she said, because he intrigued you so much. He was rough and blunt, but so sexy and dangerous. It was obvious in the first couple days that he liked you. He kept calling you out for every little mistake, wasting no time in connecting your hips and showing you the right way to dance. You blushed and argued, but he persistently corrected you. His fingers would dig into your skin, and other would laugh, because stupid Mitchie was getting schooled by the teacher since she could not do a goddamn thing right.

No one knew that you would meet up with him at twelve at night to talk and eventually make out. And you were getting tired of that. You wanted more.

"I heard he cheated on Norah, and that's why they broke up." you remember Ella saying proudly, as if it was a brand new piece of gossip to the table. Tess scoffed at her and rolled her eyes, before putting her piercing blue eyes on you. You were expected to join the conversation on Shane Grey, not just sit there and absorb the information. You gulped and thought furiously, going through anything that you have learned about Shane to say something.

You remember the first thing that came to your head was that he likes it when you suck his bottom lip.

You blushed and looked away, making Tess roll her eyes again. "Listen Mitchie, why don't you go and practice on the routine more. You suck at dancing, and if you don't improve you will forever be Shane's punching bag." She told you rudely, halfway shoving you away from her. You bit you lip, but complied, leaving the group you wanted so badly to accept you. Idly and embarrassedly, you walked out the cafeteria, avoiding your mother like the plague.

You walked over to the lake, sitting down defeatedly on the boardwalk. You remember the silence and the soft waves, and most importantly, the clarity you possessed back then. You knew who you were and what you were going to be – Mitchie Torres, singer. And then, he came along. "Shouldn't you be practicing?" he snapped at you, raising his eyebrow pointedly. You gasped and looked over at him, your eyes wide.

He looked amazing, leaning against the railing as if he owned it. His eyes were so intense and sure of himself. He knew who he was and who he was always going to be as well – Shane Grey, Lead Singer of Connect 3, Entertainer, Actor, Tabloid Feeder. And then, you stood up. You avoided his gaze, and instead, walked away from him. "Hey!" he said surprised, anger leaking into his voice. "Don't avoid me, Mitchie. I'm talking to you." he said, catching up to you quickly.

You remember laughing humorlessly at him. "Oh, now you wanna talk? I thought we just some meaningless relationship that can only happen between the hours of twelve and two in the morning. As you can see from the lack of stars, it's nowhere near that timeslot." You were so bitter back then – at the fact he could shake up your life in a word. He sighed sarcastically, rolling his eyes, before taking your arm roughly.

"Fuck off, Mitchie. I'm bored. You're here." He instigates, giving you a smirk. You remember how your eyes darkened, and you ignored the flash of emotions that passed through his eyes because you didn't know him well enough before. Now you know he just wanted someone to care; he just wanted someone to pay attention to him, but not the attention the media gives. Now you realize that the flash that went through his eyes was regret for saying such an asshole statement.

You scoffed, throwing your hands up in the air. "Oh please! You want some chick to make out with you, go find Tess. She would love that." You still remember the face of disgust he had, and you tried really hard not to let go of your angry stance. "I'm not just some girl you can use." You tell him, your eyes flashing. "I'm a person and there's a way to treat a person, and that's not it!" you yelled at him, your eyes narrowing.

You remember how badly you wanted to smack him, because the next thing you know he is laughing at you. "And you want to be a fucking singer! Wake up, Mitchie! People are gonna treat you like shit, and you're gonna treat people like shit. People are gonna use you, and you're gonna use people. That's Hollywood. That's being famous. Doing things a normal person would never dream of? That too. Talk is cheap, Mitchie. You have to be more than what you think you have to be." He tells you fiercely, as you open your mouth to interrupt. He quickly starts again though. "I can't have a relationship, Mitchie, because I don't want to go through that bullshit again. I don't want to be in the papers because of my relationship, much less with someone who's not even famous." He tells you, his eyes bright and glaring, attacking you.

You remember stepping away from him, before turning to leave. He rolled his eyes haughtily. "I'm Shane Grey, honey. No one walks away from me." He yelled at you, but you ignored him. Instead, you went to your – Tess's – cabin, and practice like she told you to. When everyone came back, you prattled meaninglessly, before going to bed. At twelve exactly, your phone beeped to remind you to meet up at Shane's cabin. This time, however, you didn't immediately jump out of bed.

You were getting tired of his antic; it was no longer amazing to be _considered_ by Shane Grey. Somewhere along the way, you decided you were worth more than that. At least, you hoped so. At twelve ten, he texted you. _I'm sorry_, it read. _Please come._ You really could not believe he would write that, but it was enough to make you get out of bed and run to his cabin in the early morning. He was waiting for you to get there, and you remember wondering what that look in his eyes were.

Now you realize it was nervousness and anxiety. He was about to give _something_ to you, for God knows what reason.

His lips were on yours before the door shut, except unlike now, where his lips are soft, they were rough and biting. He was too passionate, too emotional, and now you realize too nervous to do things right. His hands were on your waist, but suddenly they were hitching up your shirt. You froze, since he never tried anything sexual before, but didn't stop him. After all, he was still _Shane Grey_, no matter how hard you defended and said that you weren't with him because he was _Shane Grey._

You were too young. You were too inexperience, and in the end, so was he. Neither of you knew what you were getting into, but you did it anyways. It was easier to do things like others expect you to do them, then to think for yourself. It hurt more than you expected, and now the scars are reflected on your skin. You don't want to blame him for the bruises those girls gave you, but it would be easier to do so. Instead, you forgive him before he even starts to kiss you. You love him for all you're worth, even if he was a total prick to you once.

He probably would have never stopped being an asshole to you, if it wasn't for the miscarriage. Then, everything – what you wanted to be, who he thought he was – changed. Your whole life changed. Suddenly, he was more than just an idol, and you were more than just a fuck buddy. You are each others, and nothing is going to change that. Not distance or parents or life.

"I love you so much, Mitchie." He keeps saying as his lips brush on every injured plane on your body. He is wetting your entire body with his angry, guilty tears, and you try to wipe them away. "I love you. I love you. I love you." he just keeps saying, and it kills you more and more every time. You want to be with him. You want him. You want him to be everything forever.

You reach up and hug him, and he stops kissing you for a while. You just hold each other, because it's easier than talking. For the first time since the attack, you feel safe and that feels so good and absolutely amazing. You need him like air. You feel like laughing at how cliché and trite you have become, at how in love you are, and at how much you need him. He's your safety net, and considering his recent activities, you're his.

When you open your eyes again, you realize that you fell asleep. Shane is still holding you, his fingers running through your messy hair. He kisses your forehead as soon as he sees you and you smile up at him. It is a pained smile, since your sides still hurt. You put your hands to his face, and bring him down for a kiss. That's when you hear the door open. You sigh, thinking it's your mother. Shane rolls his eyes, separating himself from you, but quickly freezes. "Michelle!" comes a voice from downstairs.

You groan, knowing that it is your father. You try sitting up, but Shane holds you back. "Shane, what – where…" you try asking, but the way his eyes darken and fill with intense anger stops you. You totally forgot – with all the troubles with the girls – that your father hit you, and much more, you totally forgot you told Shane. "Shane." You warn him, your voice serious. He ignores you, ripping himself from your grasp and going to the door.

Your eyes widen as another voice gets thrown into the mix, and Shane freezes again. "I don't think she's here, honey. Get your clothes." A sickeningly sweet voice says. A woman's voice, one that is not your mother's. Shane looks at you, his heart obviously breaking for you, but you ignore him. Instead, you look away, before closing your eyes. He takes that as his permission to continue downstairs.

Suddenly, you're alone in your room, and there is loud yelling going on downstairs. "Why the fuck are you here?" someone ask, but between your hurtful sobbing and the woman's screaming, you have no idea whether it was Shane or your father who said that.

**XXX**

**I am not really sure if this was a filler chapter or not; I hope it isn't. it practically broke my heart, for reason that are too harsh to explain. Just know that today sucked, so if you didn't like this chapter, I'm sorry. I know Shane & mitchie's first time was weird and not really explained, but I never said he was sweet. And usually, first time suck. And its usually with the wrong person. Shane could have been mitchie's wrong person, instead he changed. Not real life, but whatever. Life isn't that great sometimes.**

**Sorry, going through too much today. I'll stop. Thanks for your reviews. Most for any chapter. I'm glad that many of you realized how much cyber-bullying/ real bullying hurts. **

**Thank you ****so**** much! You guys are one of the reasons why I continue writing. Thank you. **

**Sandra**

**PS – I'm sorry if this chapter sucked, once again. Next one at 715. thanks **


	24. Chapter 24

"**Cool Your Beans, My Son. You Look a Fucking Mess." Disaster Button – Snow Patrol **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 24

_Dedicated to the TwitPack for putting up with me!_

"Who the hell are you?" came a voice from downstairs. It was a woman's voice – scared and guilty. You could not even breathe anymore at that point; you feel like you might suffocate. "Stevie, I thought you said you had a girl?" the voice continues accusingly. You put a hand over your ears to block out her voice, but you can feel her. Suddenly, because of your rapid movements, a sharp pain goes through your arm. You almost scream out, but instead hold it in. And then it hits you. The unknown woman who has made your life a living hell for the past year and a half is downstairs with the man who you used to call your dad.

And so is Shane.

Anger surges through you enough for adrenaline to start pumping within your body. You ignore the pain as you make your way off the bed and blindly go across your room. You take the steps as quick as you can, especially as your father and Shane's voices get thrown into the mix. "You! You are that son of a bitch boy that slept with my daughter!" your father yells, but even though you cannot see him, you can hear the horror of getting caught in his voice.

You freeze when you hear Shane chuckle darkly. "And you're the son of a bitch who hit her." He says in a low, dangerous whisper. You find yourself without breath for the second time in minutes, before darting off again. As soon as you make the landing, the woman gives a humorless laugh.

"Oh, please? Like Stevie would ever hit anyone." The woman said incredulously. You almost saw red with fury at her statement, but also her fucking voice. She sounds like a tramp to you, and you want to almost shove something down her throat so she will never utter another word. Your breathing becomes shallow as Shane laughs coldly again, and you feel like you're going to fall from the pain in your sides. You put your hand to the wall to steady yourself but you cannot push yourself to turn the corner and face them.

"You know for the other woman, it's pretty stupid to think that _Stevie _is a saint." Shane responds daringly. You peer around the corner, and see your father's back facing Shane. The woman is off to the side, but you cannot see her face. Your eyes light up in a horrifying glare, wanting to mentally attack her. Suddenly, from the corner of your eye, you see your father move quickly from where he is standing. Shane's eyes widen, but he is not expecting it. Instantly, the woman starts screaming your father's name.

You scream your lover's name when your father tackles him to the ground. The older man's fist connects with the side of his face for only seconds, but you have already run to him. There was no pain, no thought – just Shane. Your nails dug into your father's arm to stop him, and he looks at you surprised, presumptuously thinking you were the woman. Instead, he faces your cold, dark eyes ready to kill him. "Get the fuck off of my boyfriend." You say, and you do not even know where you got your confidence from. You hear the woman stop screaming.

Your father's eyes widen as they look over your bruised body, but all of a sudden, Shane flips them over so he is on top. You are knocked down to the ground painfully from Shane's forces, but you look up quick enough to see Shane give the first punch. "That is for punching me, you ass-fuck. No one touches Shane Grey!" your boyfriend spits out angrily, before connecting another fist with your father's face. The woman gasps and rushes over to the scene, but you are screaming Shane's name as well. He ignores you both. Instead, he hits your father twice more. "That is for hitting Mitchie, even though you should be lucky it's just this." He says, screaming with violence.

"Shane, stop it!" you scream, and you notice the woman is crying and yelling your father's name. You try to get up off the floor by pushing yourself with the coffee table, but Shane already has hit your father twice more. You wince every time your father's head hits the floor and every time he grunts in pain. "Shane!" you yell again, putting your arms on his waist and arm. You pull him to you with all the strength you have, thankful that even though he is strong, he is still a rock star.

And rock stars are rock stars thin.

He falls into your arms, still buzzing with anger and adrenaline. He turns to you, as the woman rushes to your father's side. Shane's eyes are bright, the green in them intensely showing. You have never seen him this angry before – not at you or Nate or Norah or his mother. "Mitchie, I want you to go upstairs and lock yourself in your room." He says, as your father pushes the woman out of his way. He spits out blood, wiping his nose with his sleeve before coming towards the two of you.

You arms are still around Shane's body when your father comes, but Shane pushes you behind him – protecting you. You gasp as you grab your boyfriend waist from behind, looking at your father with angry tears. Blood is running down his face, but he hardly notices. His eyes are trained furiously on Shane, watching as his arms circle around you as best he can to guard you. "You son of a bitch! How dare you hit me? Do you think I'm not going to press charges?" he says, before going closer to the two of you. Shane pushes you up against the wall, his body still protecting you.

You hide in the space between his shoulder blades, tears and mascara ruining the back of his shirt. You put your fingers through his, completely terrified for Shane. "Oh, yeah? And who are they going to believe, hmm? You attack me! I was defending myself and my girlfriend from you!" Shane yells back. Your father laughs coldheartedly and shakes his head, but you still do not look over Shane's shoulder.

"Oh please? Because my daughter needs you! Michelle, come here!" he screams to you, but Shane tightens his grasp on you. Even if you wanted to, you know that Shane will not let you. He is being your protector – your angel – right now to let anything happen to you. "Michelle, I swear to God…" your father threatens, but Shane cuts him off.

"Or you'll do what?" he says in the same dark low voice he had earlier. You can almost feel the anger radiating off him. You squeeze his waist, but you don't know why you do. Maybe to tell him you are there with him, or maybe to tell him to back off? In any case, Shane lets out an almost inaudible growl as your father comes quickly at the two of you, knocking the coffee table in the process. You flinch and hug Shane tighter.

"I'll make you wish you have never met Mitchie!" your father responds, coming menacingly in front of Shane. You can smell the harsh cologne and sweet perfume – the woman's – on your father, bringing your anger to full blown high. Your nails unconsciously dig into Shane's side as your father yells, but Shane doesn't push you off. Instead, he backs you up even more on the wall, shielding you. "Now get the fuck out of the way!" he says, and you see his hand suddenly go on Shane's shoulder.

You gasp when Shane is ripped from your grasp, and your father hits him hard in the face. He falls to the ground, eyes bright with anger, ready to get back up and kill him. You immediately go in front of Shane and turn to your father. "What the hell is your problem?" you screech, your voice strong with tears. Your father sneers at you, before pausing, his eyes widening again. the woman gasps loudly.

"You did this to her, Steve?" the woman wrongly assumes, looking at your bruised face horrified. You shake your head, not answering her question but rather trying to calm yourself. You stare at the woman – red hair, blue eyes, early twenties – and almost attack at her. She opens her mouth, looking at you like she has seen a ghost before looking away suddenly.

You turn back to your father, tears in your eyes. "Get out." You say darkly, and he scoffs humorlessly. Shane gets up quickly off the floor, tightening his arms around your body to help you stand. The tension is thick and horrible, and you feel like ripping something apart. You feel like ripping him apart. "I hate you. Go get your clothes and never come back. Don't call me. Don't try to contact me. Just leave, you son of a bitch!" your voice gets progressively louder until you are screaming.

Your father's eyes darken at that way you have spoken to him, but the woman jumps in, putting a hand on his chest. "Get your clothes, Stevie, so we can leave." She says, shaking slightly. She looks at Shane briefly, her eyes widening. You cannot see him right now, but you're willing to bet your soul, Shane's look is not very nice. Then, another thought hits you, Shane is Shane Grey, and she's not that old. How long until this gets out?

Your father takes a step back, before shaking his head. "Tell _your mother_," he says like he is speaking of the worst creature alive. "To go fuck herself. She obviously doesn't need me anymore since she is _so_ good at parenting. You'll learn to respect, Michelle." He tells you, stepping away and grabbing the woman's hand. "Come on!" he orders. "I don't need the clothes that bitch bought me." He says, halfway dragging her to the door.

Then, he's gone.

You let out the breath you didn't know you were holding, the pain and tears rushing back to you quickly. You put your hands to your face, your nails digging into your skin. You are so angry, so hurt and so done. Shane gulps softly, putting a hand on your shoulder. You shake off his touch, your hands still covering your face. "Mitchie…" he starts, but he doesn't know how to finish that. He puts his hand on yours, trying to make you face him.

You rip your hands away, tears streaming angrily down your face. You gulp back the pain roughly, but your eyes are still watery. You put your hand on Shane's cheek, not caring if you are gentle or not. "Are you okay?" you ask, but you don't ask in concern. You ask in anger. He breathes out and nods, looking at you intensely. He tries to pull you into his arms again, but you refuse, pushing him away hard. "I cannot fucking believe this!" you scream suddenly, everything getting to you.

"Mitchie." Shane says, still stepping in closer and closer to you. Even though you are fighting him, he doesn't stop his actions. He tries hard to make you fall into his arms, and since he is stronger and taller, it is not that difficult. You grit your teeth furiously as he wraps his arms around you, pushing you to his hard chest. You sob loudly and violently, pushing him and almost hitting him because you need to channel the pain somehow and that's that only one that comes to you. "I know. I'm sorry. It's okay." He says, gulping down the bile and rage still shaking within him.

"How could he fucking bring her here? How could he hit you? How could he?" you shout, almost sputtering. Shane tightens his hold on you until it starts to hurt, but you don't care. You literally scream into Shane's chest, your hands balling into hurtful fists. You try to push Shane away again, but he won't budge. He holds you tightly, breathing loudly and roughly, but never letting go. You rip at his skin, wanting so bad to do something – anything.

His bright eyes flash to yours, as you finally get some space between the two of you. He is still shaking, but the hurt you are expecting to see in his eyes is nowhere to be found. He almost wants you to break down, but you refuse to just calm down. Instead, you reach up blindly, red in front of your eyes, and grab him behind his head. Your fingers interlace painfully in his hair, as you smash him to your mouth. You kiss him with every nerve and fiber you have, the anger so powerful inside you.

Instead of pushing you away like you thought he would, he kisses you back with the same intensity. The two of you claw at each other, as your mouths work harshly. Your teeth sink into his bottom lip as he grabs your hips with purpose. You don't even care that pain surges through your body with every touch; all you care about is screaming. You – with power you didn't even realize you had – push him the whole way up against the wall.

He groans in pain as his head makes contact with the plaster, but doesn't tell you off or stop kissing you. Your fingers go down his shirt, wanting to rip it off of him. His hands go down your body until they are at your thighs. He pushes you up so that your legs are wrapped around his waist, before switching positions. You scream in his mouth when you feel the wall behind you and his hands paw at your chest.

He squeezes your breasts with no mercy, far too gone with anger just like you to care. You finally get the buttons undone on his shirt to rip it from his body. He separates from your lips to throw the shirt and goes to your shirt. He struggles with it and you try to help him hysterically, but the both of you are getting nowhere. "I hope you didn't like this shirt." He growls, before tearing it harshly. His lips immediately latch on yours again, as he pushes the now shredded cloth off you.

You moan, wrapping your arms around his neck. You push your tongue as far down his throat as you can, as you try to lose yourself in him. But it's too hard, and you can feel tears come rushing back to your eyes. You feel like you're about to break down. Shane immediately notices and rips his lips from yours, instead going to your exposed nipple. He bits extremely hard that you think he might draw blood. "Shane! Fuck!" you moan, screaming in his ear. He grits his teeth and looks at you with lust filled eyes.

Suddenly the two of you are moving backwards onto the couch. You moan in pain when you hit the soft cushions and Shane falls on top of you. Pulling his head to you again, you kiss him violently, biting at his lips. His hand snakes down to your stomach, before going to your jeans. "Mitchie." He says between gritted teeth, and it turns you on even more. His eyes are smoldering – vibrant and furious. "Mitchie." He repeats, and it makes you want to scream.

Or cry.

He braces himself over you, one hand on either side of your head as your naked chests press up against each others. His knee digs into your sex, pushing your leg away so he can slip one leg between yours. Suddenly, he is backing away – his eyes are coming back to focus. He is letting the passion slip away and he is starting to think. You know that in any second he is going to stop; he's going to realize that he should not do this to your already injured body just to let out his frustration.

But you won't let him.

Your teeth gnaw violently on your lip, as your eyes brighten with tears. You reach up again and kiss him with everything you have, making sure he realizes how much you need this right now. You can feel Shane's breath start to slow; you can feel him coming back to reality. "Mitchie." He whispers, but his voice is not raw anymore. "Mitch, we should stop. I don't want to hurt you." he says, but you have already slipped your hand under his waistband, so the end of that statement is rushed. You stroke him and he groans, all thoughts vanishing from his head. You kiss his neck, nipping at the skin and breathing hard. He moves against your hand, moaning in your ear, until you kiss him again.

Shane, for all the bullshit he was saying, kisses you back just as passionately as before. His hand slips down your front until they are under your pants. He rubs you the same way you are rubbing him – hard, desperate, and pleading. Your tongues battle roughly as you gyrated against each other, before he rips himself away to allow you air. Your lips find the spot on his neck you know drives him wild and you suck hard on it. "Mitchie." He moans, his fingers suddenly slipping into you.

You scream against his neck as he starts to pump his finger in you, making you pause your own ministrations on his sex. He pants against your ear, before slipping his hand away. He sits up quietly, and you fix him with a glare but he's not looking to get away. His fingers are rough as they force your pants and underwear off before throwing them haphazardly to the ground, before kicking off his own.

Your eyes widen with lust as you look over his amazing body. He is so beautiful to you – to every girl. You hardly have enough time to even think about as he descends back on top of you. he quickly enters you, not at all gently. "Oh!" you tremble harshly as you try to accommodate his size, your breathing gets stuck in the back of your throat, and you feel like crying again. he is immediately there, kissing your lips with fervor.

His anger and frustration are evident in everything he does. He slams into you hard – harder than he ever would have under normal circumstances. His lips are parted as he tries to get used to you as well. "Shit, Mitchie! You're so fucking tight." He growls, before burying his head on your shoulder. You groan loudly, before moving your lips to his ear, biting and sucking on it. He is so close to you – so there. Every move is reciprocated flawlessly. The two of you are perfect together.

His voice is wild and crazed as he says dirty words and harsh phrases to you. You push him closer to you, your legs wrapped tightly around his back. "Shane!" you moan over and over again. You close your eyes and let him take over – let him be your angel.

The pleasure is too much, but still not enough. You try to budge your hand between your slick bodies, but there is hardly any room. Eventually, you find your swollen clit and you rub furiously as he thrust in to you. "That's it honey. Touch yourself for me and only for me." He groans as he feels your muscles tighten their grip on him. "Shit!" it feels so good to you, and you are suddenly transported away from all your problems. You scream as your body lets go.

"Shane." You yell as his lips go back to yours to ride your orgasm. And then, you just cannot help anymore. Tears come out of nowhere and suddenly, you are crying hysterically in his arms.

**XXX**

**Wow! I'm sorry that took so long, but I was a little disheartened. Apparently last chapter did suck cuz I got way less reviews than usual. Kinda made me sad. No biggie, just a small blow to my confidence. So, that's why you get violent fight with angry sex. That always seems to draw you guys in. lol.**

**But anyways, thanks for all your support. You have no idea what it mean to me. Tell me if you liked this chapter. I did. A lot!**

**Love ya,**

**Sandy**

**PS – Twit Packers Rule**

**PSS – I love **_**long**_** reviews XP. Next chapter at 750 **


	25. Chapter 25

**"Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked" – Undone (The Sweater Song) – Weezer**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 25

_To My Amazing Girl Sabrina who helped me with this chapter! _

"I love you." he whispers after your violent sexual tussle in your bed now, as he rubs soothing circles on your back to stop you from crying. He puts his arm around your shoulders and pulls you to his chest as to protect you. You cling onto his body, wiping your eyes on his skin roughly. "I love you." he repeats kissing your cheek. He softly massages your bruised ribs, as he kisses down your cheek to your neck. You hiccup against him, but do not say anything to him.

"Shane." You say, your voice cracking as you bury yourself deeper into him. He squeezes your shoulders, before nuzzling your neck again. You sigh and digyour fingers into his matted hair to pull him more into your embrace. "I'm so sorry that my dad did that…" you trail off, as your voice goes hoarse. He pulls away from you, shrugging. You finally look at him, and your heart completely breaks.

His hair isn't shiny anymore. His face looks worn out and tired. His eye has a nice deep purple ring around it. His cheeks are scratchy with unshaven hair. He smells like cigarette smoke still, along with a tinge of whiskey. He is a mess – a fucking mess.

And it's all because of you.

He pulls you back to his chest, running his hands through your hair. He kisses your forehead, but you are way to gone to pay attention to him. Thoughts that have not come to you in such a long time come back full force. You're not good enough for him. What the fuck are you doing? Why are you pretending that this rock star – this rock god – should be here in your house, instead of back in his home, recording music?

Are you even that important?

It's why your father is cheating on your mother, isn't it? Because you are such a mess and because of all the stunts you have pulled in the last six months. It's why Sierra stopped talking to you, isn't it? Because you're putting too much emphasis on yourself and not on others. It's why Shane is going down isn't it? Because you think you are more important than you actually are.

Shane puts his cheek against your softly. "Hey, pretty girl. What are you thinking?" he says, a frown on his face. He bites the inside of his lip and his eyes flash with anger when you do not answer him. "Stop that, Mitchie." He growls, and you shiver, wondering if he can read your mind or something. "I fucking hate it when you keep stuff from me! I try to tell you just about everything, but you keep stuff all the time." He says angrily, glaring at you.

You stay silent and instead lean closer to Shane's chest, tracing your fingers down his side. You frown when it doesn't make him shiver like it used. You used to able to turn him on in seconds, make him hard just by pressing up against him, and now? You press your hand hard on his lower abdomen and he sighs. He puts his hand over yours to stop you, and grits his teeth before coming close to your ear. He's about to speak but you cut him off.

"Why won't you let me give you a… you know?" you say, but you weren't expecting to be embarrassed. You face flushes red as he lets out a confuse breath and rolls his eyes, looking at you pointedly. You clear your throat, making circles on his stomach with your fingers under his as you tell yourself not to cry. "A blowjob." You whisper almost inaudibly, blushing completely.

He immediately separates from you. "What?" he asks incredulously, looking at you with raised eyebrows. "Is that what your upset about, Mitch?" he says, but you do not meet his eyes. You shrug, moving your hand from under his and putting it by your side. He sighs. "The first sexual experience I ever had… not like with you – I mean, in general, was with Norah." He confesses reluctantly, biting his lip.

Norah.

You eyes open in shock and you look at him hurt. He rolls his eyes. "Just listen, Mitch, before you jump to conclusions." He says, before blowing out softly. "She wanted to know that I was serious about her, and at the time I was. I just I thought I loved her. It turns out I didn't and she's a backstabbing son of a bitch, but at the moment… I let her take my pants off and she want to give me a… you know. I think I let her, but then I got scared. It was creepy and messy and I hated it. I think at one point I just pushed her away and she fell on her ass. After that moment, we never talked again normally and we just broke up." he mutters, reaching for your hand again.

You swallow and pull away from his touch. "You should have told me that, Shane." You say coldly, slightly humiliated. He scoffs unbelievingly, looking at you with incredulously parted lips. His eyes turn a dark color as he glares at you, daring you to even explain that. You sigh and turn away from him, your naked back now facing him.

He laughs humorlessly. "Wow, what a fucking hypocrite! Are you serious right now?" he says, sitting up on the bed. You freeze as more tears rush to your eyes, and close your eyes. You think about not answering him because he's right. You're not angry at him; you never cared if you were his first or not, just that he was yours and you were his last. You are angry at yourself for messing up his life.

You left him. You hurt him. Your father hit him. You make him spend ridiculous amounts ofmoney on you. You take him away from Nate and his family. You caused a strain between him and his mother. You cost him his job at Camp Rock, not to mention that he keeps leaving on the label. You might be the reason why Connect 3 stops touring, because Shane keeps coming back to you randomly. You took his virginity when that was a big part of who he was.

You turned him suicidal.

It's all your fault, but you do not want to admit that. "Shane, I already fucking told you that I never even kissed someone before, and you never had the decency to tell me that you had oral sex with the fucking goddess that is Norah James?" you yell at him, turning around roughly. Your sheet pools along your waist, exposing your breasts but he doesn't even look at you. Instead, he gets off the bed and dresses himself bitterly.

"What-fucking-ever, Mitchie." He spits out as he puts on his pants.

"Go to hell!" you yell at him, finally covering your chest awkwardly. Guilt and pain circle inside you as you watch his eyes light up with anger and he shakes his head furiously. His messy hair flies everywhere and he bites his lip violently.

"I would tell you 'You too' but you're already there." He says coldly, before snatching his shirt from besides your body. You freeze as he takes what would have been your pajamas and watch as he goes out towards the door.

"Maybe I'm in hell because of you!" you throw back at him, but that is completely wrong and you know it. He is your angel - your protector. He gives you hope and you need him. But the more that he needs you, the more he can destroy his life. He should be with Nate and hell, maybe he should be with Norah.

"Maybe we shouldn't be together than!" he yells, and it completely break your heart. Your breath leaves your body. Your heart pumps faster. Your eyes sting with tears. But you do not contradict him. He is looking at you, fighting between sadness and hope. He wants you to argue and tell him you love him.

"Fine!" you yell even though it doesn't even make sense to anyone. You see his heart break, and it absolutely kills you. You want to take it all a back – tell him April Fools or something but you don't. He lets out a ragged breath and swallows. Shane glares at you one last time before reaching the door.

"Fine!" he says softly, slamming the door behind him. As soon as the door closes, your heart stops. You're pushing him away because you think you're not good enough for him. It's a good thing, right? At least, for him and his career. You almost sink back in between the sheets to scream your heart out when the door opens again. You gasp when Shane walks in not two minutes later, with a bright look in his eyes. "I can't keep fucking doing this. I know you love me. I love you too." He says, his voice cracking. "Don't push me away. I'm sorry I said that." He begs, the anger gone from his eyes.

Now, there's just pure desperation.

You blink down some tears, before putting on a fake smile he obviously sees through. His eyes narrow in concern, in confusion, and in hurt, and you get off the bed, still completely naked. "I do love you, Shay." You whisper, putting your hands on his waist and hugging him. He relaxes, breathing out in relief before embracing you back. After a minute, you heartbreakingly break away from him and look him in the eyes. "But you have to go. It's like you're choosing me over music – over your life, your job, your passion. That shouldn't be the case, baby." You say, putting a hand on his cheek.

He lowers his eyebrows hurtfully. "But I would… you know that right?" he admits in a low voice. He runs his hand through your hair softly, pushing it behind your ear. You bite your lip and close your eyes, before glaring at him. "The label doesn't even care about me. I could leave it all for you." he mumbles.

"I don't want you to. I swear to fucking God, Shane Grey! I need you to go and do what you do. Stop doing… just stop!" you say fiercely, letting go of him. Shocks of pain went through you when you did, not only because his warmth isn't there to protect but also because of his face. You put a hand back on his cheek. "I do love you Shane." You say, and there has never been a truer statement.

He puts his hand on top of yours, before letting it slide off. "I love you too." He says, putting a hand on your cheek. Suddenly, the two of you are in silence. Just silence. You stare at him without even moving, hardly breathing, and he stares at you the same way. "Where does th-that leave us now?" he asks, his voice cracking. He holds back his emotions as best as he can but you see the heartbreak behind them.

_You're doing it for the best, Mitchie!_ You tell yourself.

You reach up and brush your lips against his, your naked body pressing up against him. "Go." You say against his lips. "But call me when you get there." You add because you still need him even he can't need you. Plus, you do not want to cut him off completely, even though you know you don't deserve him – even though you've messed up his whole life. You're too selfish.

He wrings his hands behind your back to push you closer to him, but you stop him gently. You separate from him and look at him pointedly. He sighs and takes out his phone. "Hey, Jack. I need the plane. I'm going home. I'll be there in ten." He says, closing his eyes. When he opens then, you already locked yourself in your bathroom.

XXX

When you see your mother again, you know she has already talked to your father. Her eyes are bloodshot. Her hair is crumpled and messy. She is clutching her phone in her hands and she is breathing harshly. Basically, she is a fucking mess too.

You avoid her.

Instead, you tell her briskly that Shane left and you're going for a walk as you grab your bag. She's so out of it, she doesn't even ask you how your bruises are coming. Of course, your body hurts, but your heart hurts more. You have never wished so much in your life that Shane was just a normal boy, or that you were famous too. Then, at least you could either just be with him or at least understand him. The two of you could be perfect, with your silent understanding and your undeniable connection.

But no. Just no.

You are not going to become some Disney princess or some recording star. You're not going to live in L.A. or become the next best thing. You're just Mitchie. And he's Shane Grey – superstar. He deserves more than what you can give him – more than what he has received. Maybe you're just too young for all this. Maybe a sixteen year old is not supposed to be this much in love. Maybe you're supposed to just go to school, try to be friends with someone, and just flirt.

Maybe you should just be.

You walk into the local café mindlessly, breathing out slowly. You wrap your arms around your body as you go to sit on a table, telling yourself not to cry. It's the last thing you want. Instead, you beg yourself to hold it together. You sit down numbly, putting your bag on the table. "Hello, welcome to Ewing café! My name is Adam. What can I get you, _pretty girl_?" a hyper and nice kid asks, smiling brightly. You wince at the words Shane just used earlier and look up at the boy.

The guy smile falters and he blinks; obviously, you're not very well put together. He gives you another smile, although not as big, but you can tell he is a very happy person. And you hate him for that. You watch as the guy opens his flip book happily, ready to take your order and take on the world one naïve smile at a time. "Do you always flirt with all your costumers?" you ask curtly, wrapping your fingers around the necklace Shane gave you.

Subconsciously, you hope all the makeup you put on your face covers the bruises as his eyes widen. Suddenly, the guy puts on a cocky smile. "Only to the pretty ones, and sometimes to the tortured ones." He says flirtatiously, biting his lip. You immediately scoff, giving him the angriest glare you have ever given someone. His eyes soften and he looks at you with concern, feeling bad for his forwardness.

You swallow and look away. "I want water, please." You say coldly, going through your purse to ignore the boy. As soon as he leaves, you breathe out in relief. Sneaking a peek at him as he goes behind the counter, you can see he's not a bad guy.

He looks like a nice Christian boy who likes to have fun and dress crazily. He looks like he could give you the world if he wanted to, just with flowers and charm. He looks like the kind of guy you used to have crushes on – the early years Shane. The one you used to stalk before Connect 3 got big. The one you use to love – until you met the real thing. Suddenly, the guy is back at your table, putting down the glass of water wordlessly.

Just as you think he is going to leave, he surprises you and takes off his apron before sitting down. "So, pretty girl, what's wrong?" he asks softly, his blue eyes gentle. You freeze and give him another withering stare, but he doesn't flinch. You groan, before looking through your purse again. When you find the stationary you had stuffed in your bag you pull it out, not even looking at the guy. "What do you call cheese that's not yours?" the silence breaks again.

You look in the bag for a pen, before giving him a strange look. "What?" you say, not to answer or play along with his joke, but just because you are surprised he is still even there. The boy smiles and you notice that if your heart wasn't going to California right now, the boy would be attractive.

"Na-cho Cheese!" the boy laughs, and you watch how it reaches his eyes. You stare at him with the same cold, distant stare, before breathing out slowly. You rub your eyes and pick up the pen before touching it to the paper.

"Can you please just leave?" you whisper, not looking at the boy. The guy sighs and nods, before leaving. When you are alone again, you take a big drink of the water, realizing just how parched you are. You breathe out again, holding your arm across your stomach to stop yourself from falling apart. You finger the paper as you keep the pen stationary on it, until suddenly you are pouring out your heart.

_Shane,_

_I don't think we are working anymore. I mean, we do connect and we do love each other and we are perfect for one another. But, you are still you and I'm still me. You deserve someone who can be there for you, with you without the insane amount of drama that 'us' presents. I'm just a kid, Shane. And so are you. We should take a break. I think you are putting too much faith, too much ability in me, and I don't want you getting hurt. I can't always be there for you, but I want to. But you! You are always there for me! Anytime I need you, you are there. You skip out on your label, on your family for me. I love you for it, but Shane, it's not fair that I can't give you as much. I'm just a girl. You put too much pressure on me to be perfect for you, but I'm a mess. And you deserve more. _

_Go back to the label. Be strong and happy. And we will reconnect. We will be together again. Just not now. We need to grow up. We need to face reality. We need to do a lot of things, before we give ourselves fully to one another. I do love you, never doubt that. I do. And I'm sorry that I keep stringing you along, but I just cannot do it any longer. I'm sorry. Find someone better than me for now. Or forever. Fall in love. But not the messy love we have now, but the sweaty palms, butterflies in my stomach love. You need that girl. You need that girl who can turn you on in seconds. You need that girl who can make you tingle and scream and laugh and be who you are__with no regrets. You need her. Not me._

_I get that. I really do. That's why I caused a fight. You deserve more. I deserve less. We're a stalemate. _

_Mitchie_

By the time, you finished writing the paper is soaked with tears. The last time you wrote a letter to him was for the same exactly situation – you wanting out. It hurts you to know he will be hurt by this, but you in the long run, he will appreciate it. Swallowing, you reach an envelope and stuff the letter inside, and jump when a small white rose is placed in front of you. It is beautiful and completely grabs your attention, before you look up to who dropped it.

It is the waiter – Adam.

He has a small shy smile on his face, his blue eyes cautious. "Wanted to give you something to make you smile. And because I'm here to proclaim my innocence and say that I didn't mean to be so bold, and I thought a white rose would be perfect. So, there…" he says quickly, before slowing down at the end. He frowns at your tears, shaking his shagging brown hair from side to side. You freeze and pick up the rose, twirling it in your hand.

The thorn pricks your finger and a small drop of blood lands on the white envelope, staining it forever. Adam gasps, and moves forward to pass you a napkin. You grab it from him and press hard on your finger, looking as the blood spreads on the paper. "Thanks." You whisper numbly, before reaching into your purse and putting down a five dollar bill. "Keep the change." You tell him, grabbing the letter, your purse, and the rose in a daze.

You walk passed him swiftly, tears wanting to fall but you do not let them. You almost run to the exit, but not before ripping the letter and throwing it in the garbage.

**XXX**

**Hey Guys!!! I'm so very sorry for the long wait, but before you scream at me, I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!! WHAT! **

**Thanks so much for the positive response last chapter. hopefully this one does not get super yelled at because Shane and Mitchie are … you know. Anyways, I love you guys so much and all. **

**Btw Sabrina is awesome as my unofficial beta and idea thrower!!! (And drabble offer and twitterpacker and... all that jazz)  
**

**Who can tell me why I named the kid Adam? Lol jkjk **

**Love ya,**

**Sandra**

**PS - WHOO I GRADUATED! MORE TIME TO POST.**

**PPS – I LOVE long reviews. Next chapter at 790 reviews!**


	26. Chapter 26

"**Loaded Words and Loaded Friends are Loaded Guns to our Heads." Chicago is So Two Years ago – Fall Out Boy**

**(AN: Shane and Mitchie didn't break up. Mitchie is just freaking out because she realizes randomly that a celebrity is in love with her – hence meltdown in the last chapter)**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 26

It's three weeks after you have last seen Shane in person, but you know it is probably for the best. He has too much to deal with, which is all too apparent by the litter of magazines in front of you. He had to do several multi-million deals with different publications to help clear his name – getting him money, but definitely not happiness.

People Magazine is the most in-depth one because it is the first magazine to contact him. When you saw it in the rack at the store, you immediately grabbed it, especially with the big bold words in front of the magazine. _"Shane Grey, the boy who has everything, the boy who has the most pressure on him, explains about his suicide attempt, Norah James, his missing Purity Ring and of course, that mysterious girl he has been photographed with." _ It scared the living hell out of you. You could not believe he would ever talk about any of those subjects.

You trace his photo – the photographer made sure to catch him upset and vulnerable – and feel your heart drop. You hate every photographer, every interviewer that has ever walked into his life. You want to protect him so badly, but you know you cannot. You know you have to step back and let him steer his own life. He has to live his life, and you have to live your life. The only problem is you have no idea how.

You have talked to him randomly in the past weeks, but you try so hard to make him realize how much he shouldn't bother. He always tells you off, and you can just picture him rolling his eyes. He tells you he loves you every time, and tells you if you wanted he would drop everything for you. You always cringe at that. You always pick up his calls though, always horribly excited to hear his voice through your voice. Yet, you still bury yourself in his printed words.

_He is the lead singer of the hottest band in America right now. He is Grammy nominated, has performed on Broadway, been in countless commercials, and has dated one helluva a superstar who made quite a rough song about him. Last year alone, along with his two brothers – Nate, 15 and Jason, 20 – the 18 year old made $69 million dollars in ticket sales, CD sales, and TV appearances. He has three beautiful mansions in Texas, New Jersey, and L.A., and has ever single girl screaming for him. _

_And, yet, Shane Grey attempted suicide._

_All of us have this preconceived notion that celebrities - because they have fame, money and the adoration of the public – are the happiest people in the world. The truth is, sometimes it's just the opposite.__ Shane sits down across from me with a scowl and silence – typical of the teenage popstar. Yet, now it is obvious it is just a ploy. Obviously, the kid – because that's what he is – is scared and alone. Over the past month he has been in a hectic routine to try to get back to normal. Disney, the company the teen star is a part of sent out this statement last week supporting the recovering phenomenon. "This event brings all of us great pain. All of us at Disney know that Mr. Grey and his family are going through a rough time. We stand behind him, Nate Grey, and Jason Grey and respectfully ask that the media allows him to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time." Almost one and half months later, Shane Grey is ready to talk about his personal demons – somewhat. _

_Can you tell us what happened?_

_Shane Grey: (looking out the window) yeah. I had a mental breakdown. I wasn't drunk or high or anything. I was just…(trails off) It doesn't matter. I was just…(trails off again before sighing) my life is complicated. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to be who I am, but I don't think I can ever be that person. I'm…(gulps, before looking down) sorry that I caused so many people so much pain. It was not my intention. I regret my decision, and am very glad that I failed. I cannot express my gratitude for Disney, and my parents and brothers for helping me in this troubled time. I did not know nor understand the consequences of my actions but rather just went into it._

_Did you want to die?_

_Shane Grey: (gulps) no. I just…(trails off) Next question._

_What made you want to commit suicide?_

_Shane Grey: I don't know. I…(trails off before closing eyes) I felt disconnected to life. I just wanted to know that I was still alive. I needed my family and yet I was the one distancing myself. I realize now that I have my brothers and parents to support me, along with friends and especially the fans. I know that what I did was stupid and wrong, and I hope the fans, especially the ones who have gone through something similar, realize I'm just human. I make mistakes just like them. _

_Are you going to continue music?_

_Shane Grey: (Long pause) Music is my life. I don't know how to survive without it. I have been writing songs and…(sighs) I'll be back before no time. I was at Camp Rock this summer, since our tour was cancelled, but I can promise we are going back on tour near May of next year. _

_Speaking of Camp Rock, there are many rumors and reports of a relationship with one of the campers? Is that true?_

_Shane Grey: I want to keep my dating life private. Thank you._

_Okay. What about Norah James? Recently, not only has she talked bad about you, but has also dropped a song blasting you. Have you talked to her since the incident?_

_Shane Grey: (laughs) Yes, I have talked to her since the "incident" (uses air quotation marks), but it doesn't mean anything. She wanted to know if I was okay. Said she was sorry. I said thanks. And then we hung up. I'm not looking into getting into any more relationships with superstars or anyone. My life is too hectic for it._

_There are pictures of you and a girl at a concert in Hawaii in a passionate embrace. Any comments?_

_Shane Grey: Except for repeating that I want to keep my personal life private… no. _

_Nothing?_

_Shane Grey: (rolling eyes) She's a great person – a friend, but that's it. Friends hook up once in a while, but then go back to normal. She shouldn't be persecuted nor attacked for it. She's my friend, and people need to lay off her._

_What about the purity ring?_

_Shane Grey: I took it off. Next question._

_But wh-_

_Shane Grey: Dude, I'm not talking about it. Next Question. _

_Okay. Are you in the works with Disney for anything soon?_

_Shane Grey: Yes. I'm working on our next album with my brothers. There will be a video shoot soon, and um… a music video for a song. We're also collaborating with Alexis Texas again for a song, before going in to do a guest spot for "Sonny With A Chance". Then, we have the tour in May… (trails off, before looking out the window) Then, who knows?_

_Anything else you want to say?_

_Shane Grey: Yes. I want to say to all my fans that I'm sorry for behaving so wrongly and for messing up so horribly. You have stuck with us thick and thin, and I know it must come as a blow that I would be so callous and stupid. To which, I repeat, I'm sorry. Suicide is a serious and explosive thing. There is no coming back from that. I realize now how much damage and pain I have inflicted on not only my family, but also my fans. Please accept this apology with my deepest regret, and I hope that you will continue to support Connect 3. This is not, and will never be, Nate or Jason's faults. I hope that you can put aside my own personal demons to continue making their – and my – dreams a reality. It may seem as if I do not care or that I am taking advantage of what I have. This is not true. I very much appreciate the loyalty from my fans and their compassion through this hard time. I love every single one of you and I hope that your opinion of me does not change very much. Once again, I'm sorry._

His words make you cry for days. Not because of you are just a "friend", but because they are obviously rehearsed and planned. Shane did not want to do this interview. He called the night of, crying and yelling of how much he wanted a normal life. You listened and comforted him, but it did nothing to quell him. As soon as Disney threatened not only his job but also Nate and Jason's, he went along with it.

He had to go along with it.

You sign before throwing the magazine on the floor, mistakenly hitting yourself roughly in the chest with your arm. Groaning, you rub your sensitive breasts, before flopping back down on your bed. You pull the covers over you and close your eyes shut, barely hearing the door open. "Just because you are now home schooled, doesn't mean you can just wallow and fester away in your room, Michelle!" you hear your mother huff. You pull down the covers, before groaning and pulling them back up when your mother opened your curtains widely. "Get up." she said sighing almost defeatedly.

You moan again, before sitting up in the bed. You wince loudly, putting your hand on your lower back. Your mother immediately looks at you, eyes wide. "It's nothing Mom. I guess I'm still sore from the attack." You say, but even to you that doesn't sound right since it has been weeks. Rolling your eyes at your mother as she sits down in your computer chair, you sit up more. You watch as she picks up the magazine that has Shane's brooding face on the cover.

She flips through it, peaking at you occasionally. You raise your eyebrow at her, but do not say anything. Instead, you just look at her. In the past weeks, with your father gone, your mother has gone down the drain. She has quit her job, claiming it is to home school you but you know it's because she cannot stand the looks from her coworkers anymore. Her hair lies flat, while her face is a mess with everlasting bloodshot eyes and red nose. She is such a mess, but then, so are you.

You haven't done anything in the last three weeks. You have, like she said, basically wasted your life away in bed. You have only come up to talk to Shane whenever he could, keeping in the confusion and hurt inside of you every time. You have eaten when your mother has forced you to. You are probably worst than your mother, but what you do not understand is why. Technically, she lost a husband to a twenty something year old, and you? You didn't lose anything, but you almost did. So why does it feel like you cannot even breathe anymore?

You look up when your mother sighs again, still rubbing your chest softly. "Honey, you're falling into depression again." she says, her eyes glued to the article you were just rereading moments before. You fight the urge to retaliate and instead stay quiet. "It's like this boy is your life. I don't know how to even feel about that. I mean, I'm going through a divorce and I feel horrible, but you haven't seen the boy in a month and it has been hell for you." she says quietly, looking at you puzzled. You shrug, looking away awkwardly. You guys stay silent for awhile, before you feel tired again. You fall back onto the bed and your mother shakes her head. "I called your friend." She says suddenly.

You shoot up in bed, ignoring the random aches of your body. "What?" you ask sharply, thinking of Sierra.

Aka the last person you want to see.

"Yeah. From camp? Caitlyn." Your mother responds, shuffling a little. You drop your defensive face, and instead, give her a confused one. She clears her throat, before biting your lip. "Ever since - what happened, plus Sierra and you fighting, you haven't had a friend around. Even though that boy – Adam was it? – was so nice to you yesterday when we went by the café. He's cute, Mija. But anyways, I haven't seen you talk to anyone. So I called her." She finishes, looking at you pointedly.

You ignore the urge to tell her you hate Adam and he could go die, and instead just give her a pointed look. "Okay." You stretch out the word. "And?" you ask, pushing back your hair softly. You watch as your mother swallows before looking away.

"I invited her over for dinner. She doesn't live too far away. Her mother is bringing her by." Your mother says tersely. For some reason, you get angry at her. Caitlyn cannot see you like this – a mess. You have lost so much weight since Camp Rock, and besides that, you have lost that innocence you used to possess. You think of yourself now as a woman, and you do not feel like another condescending lecture of how you are just a kid again. If your best friend blows you off, why should you invest your time in Caitlyn?

"Oh, great." You whisper dejectedly. Your mother gave you a tightlipped smile, before standing up. She goes over to you and kisses your forehead, before pushing your hair back. "Thanks Mom." You lie through a fake smile. She, unlike Shane, believes it.

"Good. Take a shower, baby. Get pretty. She will be here soon." Your mother says, urging you into your bathroom. You sigh but nod, getting up slowly. Your whole body hurts and your head randomly starts hurting. Groaning again, you make it into the bathroom and turn on the hot water. You take off all your clothes slowly, looking the mirror as you do. You cannot believe how much your body has changed in the past six months.

You are skinnier, yet more filled. You have grown into your body, which is comforting. You are not exactly the most beautiful or the leanest girl around, but you are feeling a little bit more confident about your body. You know it is because of Shane, adding to the ever growing list that he brings more to the table than you do.

You turn to the side, looking at your body critically. You never understood why Shane likes your breasts. They are small and soft, but nothing special. You cock your head to the side when you notice your areolas are a bit darker than usual, before shrugging it off. As soon as you feel the steam around you, you jump in the hot shower and wash away your festering. After awhile, you realize it feels nice to just stand under the water, even though it brings back so many memories.

Shane loves you in the shower.

When you are done and get dressed, you go downstairs and wait. You did not even know that Caitlyn lived anywhere near you, and some part of you thinks your mother paid for Caitlyn and her mother to come by plane. Your mother tries to dote on you, but you push her away. Instead, you set the table, half wishing Shane would call, half wishing you were dreaming. You look at the time, noticing it is around the time Shane usually would call.

You wish he would already.

It feels like hours as you wait for either Caitlyn or Shane, and you cannot help but sink into the couch. Suddenly, your phone vibrates, and you immediately go for it. Sighing, you disappointedly see that it is just a text. _"Hey, baby. I'm sorry I can't call today. Nate's on my ass to perfect our last song. Just know I rather be listening to your voice than anyone else's. I love you, Mitchie. More than you ever know."_ It read. You bite your lip, before responding. _"Go work. I hope you're doing well. I love you too."_ Was all you wrote back, before turning off your phone.

Suddenly the doorbell rings, and you almost scream in frustration. "Hello, dear. Wow, you've grown since camp." You hear your mother exclaim as you walk towards the front of the house. You sigh as you see your friend and her mother at the door.

Caitlyn nods politely, but her eyes move past our mother's figure to you. Then, you realized the exact reason why you didn't want Caitlyn to come. Not because you think she's going to be like Sierra or because she is superficial, but because those eyes can see inside your soul almost as easily as Shane's can. You immediately look away, as your mother greets Caitlyn's mother. You brave a smile and give the pair a nice nod.

Your mother suddenly pushes Caitlyn towards you. "Go! Go upstairs and hang out, while us old kids talk in the kitchen." She says, and you gulp. Caitlyn smiles at her, before catching your arm in a death grip. You wince and turn to glare at her, but she gives you a stare that chills you. It is filled with concern and annoyance. She cares about you, and she can see through your charade better than your mother can.

You sigh and lead her upstairs to your room. You are silent as she looks around your dull room. Months ago, you had the room walled with Connect 3 merchandise, but after the two of you broke up after Camp Rock, you ripped the posters away and never put them back. "So, how ar-" you try to ask, but Caitlyn cuts you off.

"Do you know what it is to have a fucking famous popstar call your cell?" she whirls around, eyes serious. You part your lip, lowering your eyebrows. She throws up her hands and groans. "Of course you do. You're dating one." She snaps, flopping onto your chair. She puts her hand into her hair roughly, watching you through the strands.

You clear your throat. "Oh, so Shane-" you start, but she interrupts.

"Nate." She corrects, suddenly sitting up. "Do you know how weird it is to have a celebrity call your cell phone? The cell phone number I've only give to a handful of people, Nate fucking Grey not included. Do you what that is?" she asks again, her eyes wide. "Fucking insanity, that's what that is." She points out, shaking her head. You bite your lip, your eyebrows furrowed.

"Why did Nate call you?" you ask softly, running a hand through your hair. Caitlyn sighs before looking at you sadly. Suddenly, she breaths out slowly, before facing you completely. Her eyes search yours, until you're forced to look away.

"What's going on Mitchie? Why are you sad?" she ask, her voice incredibly delicate. You freeze, before shrugging and mouthing, _"I'm not."_ She sighs softly, shaking her head. "Yeah, you are. C'mon, I'm your friend. Tell me. I don't care that you have a relationship with Shane Grey or whoever. I care about you." she says, looking at you almost disappointedly. You bite you lip and look away.

It's too hard to look at her.

She sighs, this time angrily. "Fine. Don't tell me. It's not like I traveled hundreds of miles just to see you." she snaps, shaking her head in defeat. Your eyes start to water, but you tell yourself to stop. You jump when you hear her move closer, knocking down the People Magazine your mother left on the table. "Okay, Mitchie Torres, I'm gonna say something and you better listen because I'm your friend whether you like it or not, and I'm about to kick your ass verbally! Got it?" she says, her voice sharp.

Her eyes are bright as they stare you down. You look at her hurt. "Caitlyn…" you whisper, your eyebrows knitting together.

"Oh no! Don't _Caitlyn _me." She snaps, before taking a step back. She closes her eyes and breathes out slowly again. When she opens them again, she looks calmer. "You, my dear, are a fucking moron." She tells you pointblank. You scoff hurtfully, anger slowly rising up your body, but shock overtaking it. "You have everything you and millions of girl have ever wanted. And I'm not talking about dating a celebrity or fucking Shane Grey or anything like that. I'm talking about what every girl strives for: love. You have that." She says, finishing the mini rant in a whisper.

You can still feel the tears come up. You don't even know what to say. "So…" you say awkwardly.

"So? So!" Caitlyn explodes, throwing her hands up again. For a second you think she might strangle you. "So! So you have a guy fighting for you. You have a guy that is so in love with you we would give you the world. You have a guy who is so completely depressed and having the worst time of his life only smile when he gets on the phone with you. You have a guy who is obsessed with you to that point where his little brother feels the need to go against everything he believes and call the girl's fucking best friend to help her get on the right path. You have a guy who _loves_ you! But you won't give in because you think you're not good enough?" she screams, putting her hands on her hips.

You freeze, narrowing your eyes at her. "You don't understand." You whisper. You watch her scoff and mutter something under her breath. "No! Caitlyn, do you know what it is… You were freaking out before because Nate called you. Once. Do you know what it is to be in a relationship with Shane? He gets me whatever I want. He drops everything in a second." You try to defend yourself, but even you see you're going nowhere. You watch her eyebrow go up.

"Oh, what a tragedy." She says sarcastically. You groan loudly, jumping off the chair. You go in front of the mirror and just look at yourself, tired of looking at her. "Mitchie, why don't you just admit it? You're scared." She continues, coming closer to you. You scoff, before fixing her a glare.

"I'm not scared." You say loudly, before breathing out. "I can't give him the same things. He deserves the world, and I cannot give it to him." You tell her, suddenly looking down to the floor. Caitlyn shakes her head, before laughing humorlessly.

"You're right." she suddenly says, making you look up at her. "You're right. You cannot give him what he wants – what he deserves. All he has ever asked for you to be by his side, especially during this trying time, and for you to love him. Instead, you've done neither." Her voice is cold as she gives you a glare, and you freeze again. You breathe in sharply, blinking as the tears come rushing to your eyes.

Really, all clichés aside, it's like the world stopped. "Oh." You whisper, sitting back down in your chair.

**XXX**

**Hey guys!!!! Thanks so much for the support for last chapter, even though I got majorly yelled at. Lol. I'm sorry that you guys did not appreciate the mini-break up. but hopefully Caitlyn brought you guys happiness.**

**I love love love my girl Sabrina for betaing it! Thanks.**

**Just so you gusy know, I did not pick "Adam" for Adam Lambert, but I love that you thought so. I picked Adam's name because it is Joe's middle name, and Adam is Joe's foil (someone mentioned that in a review and good job for recognizing that!). Adam is Joe I guess in a way… idk what I'm saying. All I know is that I based Adam on Joe – so if you want to go back and see the similarities …**

**Lol. Anyways, I'm super glad/mad at the Jonas brothers. Glad because of Before the Storm. I love that Nick and Miley are dueting. Mad because of Much Better – Joe…ugh. (don't yell at me for that. Its just my opinion.) **

**Thanks for everything. I almost have 800 reviews which is crazy. So here's my proposal. Whoever is reviewer number 828 gets the next chapter dedicated to them!!!! I will keep count. Next chapter at 828.**

**Love you guys,**

**Sandra**


	27. Chapter 27

"**But I guess that I can live without you but without you I'll be miserable at best" Miserable At Best – Mayday Parade**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 27

_Dedicated to my 828__th__ reviewer: CHIKEES420_

Dinner is completely awkward for you, and you try all you can to stop fidgeting. Caitlyn shakes her head at you, as your mothers chat and joke around; you know Caitlyn is disappointed in you. Hell, you're disappointed in you. Shane is your lover and your love. Why do you feel the need to always push him away? It's like he's too good to be true, and you are doing all you can to protect yourself from getting hurt.

Yet, all you have succeeded in doing is to hurt him.

You bite your lip as everything starts to get to you - the fierce glares from Caitlyn, the fake laughter from your mother, the clinking of the silverware, the smell of the food. You feel like you are about to throw up; you feel like you you're going absolutely crazy. You cannot stand it anymore to the point where you push yourself off the table harshly, almost knocking down your plate. Immediately, the chatter stops, and you feel the stares of three women.

You shamefully turn to them, going straight to your mother's concerned eyes. You see her hold her breath, almost as if she is telling you telepathically to not screw this up. You uncomfortably clear your throat. "I'm sorry. I-I don't feel well. I'm going to lay down for a while. Cait, Mrs. Gellar, thanks for coming but I really do not feel well." You stutter out, trying to not make yourself look like anymore of an idiot.

Swiftly, you leave the room and run upstairs to your bedroom. As soon as you do, you fall onto bed, burying your head in the pillow and squeezing your eyes shut. You do not even know why you are crying, but suddenly it feels like the whole world is crashing down on you. You open your eyes, blinking away the tears as you reach blindly around you. You do not even know what you are doing or what you are looking for, until your fingers curl around your small cell phone.

You look at its slick screen for a minute, and then suddenly, your mind goes into overdrive. Your fingers dial the number you are so familiar with ever since you got it almost six months ago at Camp Rock. You gulp as you put the phone close to your ear, listening to the ringing nervously. Your heart beats so quickly as you start to lose your nerve, and you almost hang up.

But he picks up.

"Hello?" he sounds tired and a little irritated. You freeze and practically forget how to breathe. A million thoughts come flying at your head in a second. Caitlyn's accusation of you not loving Shane is still very fresh in your mind to the point where you actually believe it. How could you want to break it off with him? How could you just not want him around? You need him more than he will ever know.

And you're starting to realize that maybe he needs you the same way.

"Shane?" you say hoarsely before clearing your throat. You hear him take a deep intake of breath, and you immediately feel bad again. The guy you are in love with – the guy that is love with you – should not be surprised by you calling. It should second nature.

"Mitchie?" he whispers lowly, definitely shocked at hearing your voice. You hear shuffling on his end, and you bury yourself deeper into the pillow. You wish you had something of his, like clothing or something that smelled like him. You wish you had something other than CDs and posters. It takes you another second to realize you just want him.

You just want him.

"Yeah, it's m-me." Your voice breaks slightly, but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he waits for you to do the next move. You do not know whether it is because he is still shocked or because he does not want to speak to you. In any case, you start apologizing immediately. "I'm sorry. It must be-be late. I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry." You ramble, until he cuts you off.

"Mitchie." He says sharply. You shut up embarrassed, as he sighs. "Baby, you don't have to be sorry." He says, and you hear him shuffle again. "I was just surprised. You never call me." He whispers the last part, and you feel another fucking figurative knife pierce your heart. You are such a horrible girlfriend. What the hell is your problem? What the hell were you thinking?

You swallow, before blurting out the first thought that comes to your head. "I love you." it sounds harsh, but raw and very sincere. Shane does not say anything, but you hear his breathing pause. He is surprised once again. It drives you absolutely insane, and you don't even realize you are crying. "So, so much. Like you have no idea. I'm just… I'm sorry, babe. I just got so scared and I didn't know what to do. And I... I freaked. I should never have…" you keep trailing off and blurting out. You hear Shane groan in confusion.

"Mitch, I have no idea what you're talking about." He says, and you realize he is getting frustrated. You wish you could see him right now and kiss his confusion away. You wish you could just explain everything to him face to face, instead of on the phone. You cough slightly as your tears start to escalate and suddenly you hear Shane get seriously alerted. "Mitchie." He says sharply again, but this time you hear the alarms in his voice. "What's wrong baby?" he asks, almost holding his breath.

You gasp for air, coughing again as you wipe away the tears. You hear Shane move around quickly. "Do you want me to go to New Jersey, honey?" he asks seriously, and you hear him throw around stuff. You sit up immediately in your bed.

"No!" you mistakenly yell, and you hear the sound over the line stop. He is silent as you breathe in deeply to relax yourself. "No." you say softer. "As much as I want to see you… as much I am _dying_ to see your face, you cannot just drop everything Shane. But that doesn't mean… that I don't miss you, because, God! I do! So much. And I want to see you, but you…I have to go." You say all choppy and almost incoherent.

"Oh, okay…" he trails off, completely confused. "Bye I guess." He whispers, and your eyes widen. You immediately spring up into action.

"No!" you yell for the second time, and you hear him sigh. You can almost see him trying to understand what is going on with you – his nose scrunching, his brow furrowing, his eyes flashing. You take another deep breath. "I just… you always come to me, you know? I need to go to _you_ this time – that's what I meant." You swallow softly, as he breathes out.

"Okay." He mumbles, but you can tell he is still real confused about you behavior. You sniff softly, before putting a hand to your face.

"You don't understand, Shay. I'm just going crazy, you know? I don't know how to react sometimes, and usually I end up making a mistake anyways. I just… don't want to make any more mistakes. And I just want you to know that I love you. I really fucking love you." you choke out and just wait for his response – his reassurance.

But it never comes.

Instead, the line goes dead silent. Your heart drops as you no longer hear his steady breathing, but rather some noise. You immediately think he is going to hang up on you, but suddenly a voice is heard through the phone again. "Whoever the fuck you are, I fucking hate you." you hear through the phone. For a second, you actually think it was Shane, but the voice was not as low as his. You pause, before blinking your eyes.

"Nate?" you ask, annoyance slipping into your voice very quickly. You sigh frustratedly – you need to talk to Shane, not argue with Nate. You hear him take a deep intake of breath.

"Mitchie?" he says in a high pitched voice. You can hear the surprise and almost fright in his voice, but you can also hear the absolute exhaustion in it. He sounds like he has been through hell and back, and suddenly, you feel for the guy. "I'm sorry! I thought you were John or Jason… I'm so sorry, Mitchie." Nate apologizes quickly. You hear Shane scoff pointedly, and you can just see him holding out his hand towards Nate. "Um… One second, man. Let me talk to her." You somewhat hear Nate say.

"_What? No. Give me back the phone, Nathaniel."_ Shane's voice is heard in the background, before a slight struggle ensues. You wipe your eyes again, completely irritated again at Nate. What does he have to say to you? You need to talk to Shane – not him. Doesn't he realize that?

The struggle suddenly stops and you hear a door bang close. You breathe out a sigh, wondering just which Grey brother will talk. "Sorry. I'm back. He's such a jerk." You hear over the phone, as you lay back down on your bed. You close your eyes, before biting your lip to the point where you almost draw blood.

"Nate, no offense or anything, but I need to talk to Shane. It's kinda important." You explain, but your voice is strained. You are trying so hard not to yell at him. He is the one after all that got Caitlyn to come out and yell at you. Then again, Caitlyn did make you realize just how much you need Shane.

Nate clears his throat. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Really, I did think you were Jason." He says again, and you mumble your agreement. You hear him breathe out slowly. "Look, I just wanted to say I was sorry. For everything. For what I said. For trying to keep you two apart. I'm just sorry." He says all in one breath. Your eyes soften at his words. He is obviously just a kid, and he has so much to deal with.

"It's okay, Nate." You tell him, sniffing slightly. You hear him laugh nervously.

"Okay, great. Did you talk with…never mind." he sighs, and briefly you can hear some banging in the distance. "Okay, I better give you back to Shane before he breaks down the door." He grumbles, but then pauses. "Hey, Mitch. I'm having a um sweet sixteen party in on Friday. Do you think you can come out? We'll be doing a free concert for the fans and then a get together afterwards. I mean, I know you like in Jersey, but I can-" he says nervously, until you cut him off.

"I'll go." You say immediately. You hear Nate gasp in surprise, and you clear your throat. "I mean… you're a good guy, Nate. You just wanna do the right thing and I respect you for that. Plus, it's your birthday, so that's great. I would love to go. I just need to talk to my mother." You tell him, looking at the doorway.

Because, let's face it, you cannot just run away again without telling her.

"Oh! Great. Thanks, Mitch." He says, and you can almost hear the smile on his face. He clears his throat again. "Okay, I'm gonna pass you to Mr. Diva over here." He says, sighing and probably rolling his eyes.

"Wait." You whisper, biting your lips. When you don't hear Nate move, you continue. "Don't tell Shane, okay. I want this to be a surprise. He deserves it." You say, as if you are just realizing it. Nate grunt his agreement, and suddenly you hear the door open again. _"Finally, man! What the fuck do you need with my girlfriend, Nate?" _you hear in the background, and a smile goes on your face. You hear a small tussle again, until you hear your lover's voice again.

"Mitchie, what the fuck, man?" he grumbles almost the same way Nate did, before huffing loudly. You cannot help but laugh. You can still feel the tears in your eyes, but suddenly, you are filled with a new hope. You are filled with a glimpse of happiness.

"Shay, chill." You say, still laughing somewhat humorlessly, somewhat amazed. "Nate just wanted to apologize for calling me…that. He's a good kid. Don't bag on him too much." You tell Shane, but you still hear him mumbling angrily under his breath. "Babe." You call out to get his attention, and Shane sighs.

Suddenly, his voice is soft again. "Mitchie, baby, are you okay?" he asks again, and you bite your lip. You feel like just nodding, but you know he cannot see you. Instead, you give a small smile to the darkness.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. Just freaked out, I guess. Nate's apparently a remedy for calming down, but I'm glad you're back on." you confess, and you can practically hear him roll his eyes. "Listen." You say nervous all of a sudden. You breathe out softly. "Do you have time to just talk?" you ask, your body tensing.

"Yeah, babe. Anything. What do you want to talk about?" he says, sounding a little too bewildered for your taste. You know you are confusing him with your random call, but it's better to break the habit now than not do it at all.

"You. What did you do today? How are you? Are you in California or somewhere else?" you spring out questions, smiling again. He chuckles slightly at your enthusiasm, making the butterflies in your stomach soar. You hear him get comfortable before answering your questions.

His voice is perfect and almost serene. Of course, you have listen to him a million times on your radio and iPod, but hearing the real thing makes your heart go faster. He is the real thing. This relationship you have is the real thing.

And you wouldn't change it for the world.

XXX

"Pack a swimsuit, Mitch. I mean, it's California." You mother orders you, but you hear the hesitance in her voice. She does not want you to go, but she is glad you asked her before going. She does not want you to go, but she is too aware of your crashing depression. You nod and reach for your cabinets, giving her a small smile as you go through your clothes. Suddenly, you blush lightly as you find a bathing suit.

It's the one Shane bought you in Hawaii.

You almost shove it back in, but instead you finger it contemplatively. You would never wear something so flimsy and open in public, especially considering Shane would never let you. But he had gotten it for you, and didn't he say, _"I said not in public, but with me?"_ Breathing deeply, you take the fabric in your fist and throw it in the suitcase when your mother's not looking. "Done." You say a little too high, and she gives you a weird look. You blush and look down, so that your long hair covers your face.

You do not need your mother knowing what you are planning.

You smile again, biting your lip softly before breathing out almost cheerfully. Your mother gives you another strangle look. "What has gotten into you lately? Ever since Caitlyn came by, you have been in a much better mood." She says, her voice tired and strained.

You stay quiet for a while as you pack clothes into your small bag. "I just… I don't want to lose Shane, you know? I thought I was doing all I could for us, but now I see – from help from Cait and I guess Nate – that I was just pushing him away. I love him, Mom." You tell her, and for the first time, it isn't because you feel like you have to prove something to her. You smile brightly for the first time since you talked to Shane. "And I want to fight for him." You say, no longer looking at her.

Your mother squeals uncomfortably. "Please, don't tell me these things." She says, putting her hand on her head. "The only reason I'm letting you go is because you promised me you would be careful. Now I know you are only staying for the long weekend, but please, don't do something you will regret later, Nena." She says, suddenly looking off before giving you a serious look that makes you freeze. "I know that two of you are…" she trails off, before shaking her head. "He's a good kid. He's just going down the wrong path, but that doesn't mean you have to be the one to fix him." She advises you pointedly.

You clear your throat. "I'm going to wish Nate happy birthday, and to be with Shane. We're not gonna elope or something mom." You try to comfort her, but in the end only make her more worried. You giggle slightly. "We won't get matching tattoos on our hips or go on television and proclaim our love. We won't…" you stop for a second considering your next words were gonna be, _"commit a suicide pact to prove our love."_

That would not have ended well.

"We won't get out of control, Mom. I promise." You say instead, and she nods, uncertainty still in her eyes. When you are done packing, she hugs you before giving you a kiss on your forehead. You tense slightly, as it has been forever since you have hugged your mother, but eventually, give in to her.

"I love you, Mija. Don't forget that, please." She whispers, her throat thick. You nod, and she steps away. "Okay, let's go before you miss the plane." She says, turning around quickly so you would not see her wipe her eyes. You clear your throat again and nod, even though she cannot see you. You step away and look yourself in the mirror, grimacing at your heavy clothes New Jersey's weather makes you wear.

Sighing, you tug at your undershirt, knowing that when you get to California, you are taking off a helluva lot of clothes.

You grab your bag and race down stairs, leaving the house as quickly as you can. Ever since your face showed up on the stupid magazines, there was always someone just around. It creeped you out more than anyone could ever know. You jump in the car, and suddenly you are on the road. Your mother keeps giving your glances but doesn't say much. Pretty soon, you are at Newark International Airport.

"Do you want me to go inside with you?" your mother asks, but you wave her off. You give her a kiss and grab your bag, before exiting the car. You go quickly inside to where you have to go, and wait till you are allowed inside the plane. You jump when you feel your phone vibrate, and swiftly open it with a smile.

_Thinking of you_, the text read.

It was Shane.

Laughing sardonically, you think back to when your texts were about what time to sneak out of your cabin. Typing as the P.A. overhead announces the next flight to California, you start to go towards the gate. _That's funny. I was just thinking of you too. My mom is making me go this long weekend to nowhereland. She says I cannot have my phone. I'm sorry_, you text back as you get in line.

As you give your passport information to the flight attendant, your phone vibrates again. You smile at the woman before jumping on the plane. When you find your seat, you open his text. _Do you want me to talk to your mom? I don't want to go four days without you. _The text message reads. Your heart almost breaks at his words, but pretty soon a small smile comes on your face. _No. I'll talk to her and I'll see what I can do. I love you babe, but I'm going to take a nap. Talk to you later?, _you reply.

You watch as people file in the lanes, nervously waiting for his response. You almost jump again when the phone vibrates. _Definitely. Dream of me again._ He writes back. You tense, a furious blush going on your cheeks as you remember that night in Hawaii. That was embarrassing to say the least. Your roll your eyes, before leaning back on the seat and turning off your phone. Closing your eyes, you don't even notice that you fall asleep.

When you wake up, you are just above California. You groan as you try to situate yourself more comfortably, already pulling at your winter clothes. You thank God that no one is sitting next to you as you as you take off your sweater. As soon as you land, you turn your phone back on, immediately texting a Grey brother – just not the one you are in love with. _I'm just arriving. You here?_ You send Nate, as you take your luggage and get off the plane.

_Yes. In the back. Same place I picked you up last time._

You laugh almost humorlessly, definitely getting some stares from random people. You blush and look down, trying to remember where he picked you up last time. It's is quite hilarious to you that this is your second visit to California in three months, and you have never even been on the beach or walked through the stores. When you get outside, you do not see a black SUV anywhere. You almost call Nate again, but a honking car gets your attention.

It is a very nice car – a Mustang – and you squint your eyes at who is inside, until you realize it is Nate. You walk quickly to the car, noticing no one else is with him and you wonder who in the hell let Nate Grey come out to the airport without a bodyguard. You reach the door, and he leans over to unlock it. "You know when I turned sixteen, I got a dinner and a hug." You tell him, as you climb into the nice cushioned seats.

Nate rolls his eyes. "You can walk." He says, and you look at him surprised. He throws a smirk at you, one very similar to Shane's, and you know he is joking. You are actually pretty glad you have moved passed the awkwardness and tension between the two of you. He seems like a good guy. "How was your flight?"

You shrug. "Whatever. I slept. It was nice." You say, as he starts the car and starts to leave the parking lot. "How's Shane? Does he suspect anything?" you say, your voice dipping into a whisper. You look at him worriedly as he puts on a very serious face.

"No, Nighthawk. The sedatives worked perfectly. I still think I should have given him a double doze, but hopefully he's still passed out when we get there." Nate says, his eyes somber as he looks at you and the road. You roll your eyes.

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated." You say, but a smile ends up on your face. Nate grins slightly, looking away from you. He runs a hand through his curls softly, before turning to you and giving you a lighthearted smirk. "Seriously, man." But you start laughing, and look out the window.

"Keep telling yourself that, honey. You know you love me." He retorts, before chuckling soundlessly. "Shane's being prissy because apparently you are not gonna have your phone this weekend, and since he's obsessed with you and all, I've been afraid to leave home just in case the Diva decides to jump a jet to Jersey." He says, rolling his eyes. You scoff at him, but tilt your head somewhat.

Shane would do that.

"Don't call him a Diva, Mr. 'I Just Sixteen and Have a Mustang'." You push against his arm slightly, and he laughs again, his ear turning slightly pink. You smile at him, before looking out the window at the passing palm trees and the ocean. "So, we're going to your apartment, right?" you ask Nate, suddenly going through your bag. You sigh when he nods. "Okay, this is gonna be uncomfortable. Don't look." You tell him, as the car stops at a red light.

"What do you me- where are you going?" he says surprised, as you jump over the seat to the back with some clothes. You thank God again for your luck; the windows in the back are tinted. "Are you gonna change in the back? Are you crazy? Oh God, Shane better not find out about this, because I swear to God, if he punches me in the nose again…" Nate mutters under his breath, and you roll your eyes.

You put your sweater over your chest as you slip out of the shirt and into another. "Oh, whatever. You deserved it, _Nathaniel_." You say mockingly, before awkwardly putting the sweater down over your legs to take off your jeans. You quickly put on your skirt, as Nate rounds the corner.

He taps the steering wheel softly. "So, you're in a considerably better mood than every other single time I've met you." he says after awhile, and you roll you eyes. Taking the sweater off you, you run your hands through your hair, trying to do something with it.

"Yeah, well, every other time you've met me, you've been a prick. This time, you are working with me." You say flippantly, as you flop back in the front. Nate rolls his eyes again, sighing sarcastically. "Sorry." You mumble, suddenly self conscious.

You just called one of the most famous guys around a prick. Great.

Nate laughs softly. "It's okay. I think I've learned my lesson. I never understood… your relationship with my brother, especially back when it was, you know, illegal, but now, Shane is a fucking mess and he needs you. So, you can keep calling me a prick if you want – I'm used to from Shane anyways – just as long as you make him smile again." he says sadly, shaking his head. "I just want the best for Shane." He finishes, as he parks in front of the apartment. You smile at him.

Nate really is just a good kid.

You look at the apartment building, your face flushing as you remember what you did in its elevator, and turn back to Nate. "Here." He passes you his keys. "Jason's at the house tonight, and I have to sleep at there, on account I'm a minor and all." He says, rolling his eyes. "So, you have the apartment all to yourself." He says, raising his eyebrow at you. "Just don't…do anything stupid." He says, and this time he is serious.

You sigh, thinking back to your mother. "I've been through this conversation already. Bye, Nate." You say, opening the door and stepping into the Californian sun again. He waves at you politely, and you go to the glass doors purposely. Then suddenly, you are hit with something. It dawns at you as soon as you open the heavy door. Your heart starts pounding loudly. Your palms get sweaty. Your stomach fills with large butterflies. You feel like you are going to throw up again.

You're nervous.

You take the stairs instead of the elevator for obvious reasons, but also because you are trying to come up with some kind of plan. You come up to his floor too quickly for your taste, but your trudge on to his apartment door. You slip in the key easily, trying to be quiet. "Oh, hey. Is my babysitter back?" a voice calls from inside, as you slide through the gap. You smile but do not answer, your eyes looking to where you remember his bedroom was. "I was wondering when you would show up. Careful man. You gave me almost thirty minutes of freedom." He says sarcastically.

Oh, Shane.

You go to his bedroom, trying not to make too much noise. He is on his bed, strumming softly on a guitar, not paying attention to you. His hair is curly again, and his skin is a little darker. He is wearing a skin tight white shirt with your ring hanging from his necklace. His black jeans are almost spray painted on. He looks absolutely amazing. "Nate?" he says out loud, still not looking up from his guitar.

You can see that he is alert though. His hand tightens into a fist and you can see his whole body has tensed. You step in his room, pushing the door slightly, and he freezes. His eyes slowly go up, going first to your uncovered legs up to your stomach to your face. His eyes are calm when they finally meet yours, and it is almost like he was expecting you. He bites his lip softly, trying to hide his smile. "I thought you were going to nowhere land?" he whispers, the smile going wide.

You shrug nonchalantly, letting your hair fall in front of you. He slowly stands up and you walk closer to him at the same time. His fingers immediately go up to your face to push back your hair, and he sighs in relief. "I missed you." he lets out softly, and you smile up at him. He chuckles, his eyes brightening. "I thought you were Nate. I'm really glad you're not." He says, and you laugh at how bright his face turned.

"Yeah?" you whisper, leaning into his touch. His fingers dance along your cheek softly, before taking another step closer.

"Yeah." He breathes out, as you reach your hand out to his stomach. Your hand is spread on his hard abs, feeling the heat from his body under your fingertips. Tears rush to your eyes; it has been almost an entire month since you have last seen him up close. It has been almost entire month since you have kissed his lips or touched his body or hugged him. It feels like a life time. "Mitch." He whispers, as the two you move closer together.

You do not answer, but rather look straight into his soft brown eyes. He leans his forehead against yours and smiles again. "Hi." He whispers, his fingers still tracing your cheek. You run your own hand up his chest to his neck and beam up at him.

"Hi." You whisper back, bring your hand up to his curly hair. "Miss me?" you tease, and he laughs softly. His breath lightly blows into your face, and you close your eyes. You sigh when you feel him come closer to you, his fingers digging into your neck gently. His lips touch yours and you go on your tippy toes to meet him. His hands go down to your waist, and he pulls you close to his body in a quick embrace.

His tongue goes along your lower lip and you almost faint. You have no idea why this kiss is making you so dizzy, but it is like it the first kiss you have ever shared. Your hands go around his neck, as you deepen the kiss. You start sucking on his lower lip as he tastes your mouth completely. He is pulling at your shirt, bringing you as close as possible. It is incredible and so amazing and you love him. You really truly love him.

He separates from you when you need air, before leaning his forehead against yours again. He smiles widely, running his hands through your hair again. "Hi." He repeats and you laugh. This is so great. If all the pain, all the heartache led to this point right here, then it was all worth it. You know that this relationship has been a whirlwind of emotions, but you know one emotion has always been presented.

Love.

His fingers go down to your lips, tracing them. "Why are you here, baby?" he asks, his brows coming together somewhat. You laugh, and so does he. "And why are you in such a good mood?" he asks the same question your mother and Nate asked. You shake your head at him, putting your hand on his cheek.

"I'm here because I absolutely need you to breathe. And I'm happy because I love you." you whisper, before leaning up and kissing him fully on the lips.

**XXX**

**Oh my Lord! That was 5,440 words!!! Lol. I hope everyone liked some fluff and happiness, instead of the usual angst.**

**So, anyways, my girls from Twitter know this, but guess what guys!!! I went to the JB's Free Show at Irving Plaza, NYC. SO MUCH FUN! Lol. Trust me when I tell you next chapter will be damn sexy! Cuz guess what I got to do (and no making fun of me for being such a dork!!!)**

**I was like front row, and I just happened to feel Joe Jonas's abs. lol it was quite awesome. I was excited for such a long ass time. Lol. I still cannot believe I got a wristband in. I'm so happy. I love Poison Ivy – just cuz the word "bitch" is implied in the lyrics. Lol. So hot.**

**Joe was so hot.**

**Okay, anyways, REVIEW!!! Cuz I worked so effing hard on this chapter!!! I want your opinion DEFINITELY!!! Tell me all about what you liked or didn't liked! **

**I love all!**

**Always (and Forever),**

**Sandra**

**PS – Long Reviews Make My Life! Next chapter at 872ish. **


	28. Chapter 28

"**Turn right into my arms. Turn right – you won't be alone" Turn Right – Jonas Brothers**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 28

You run your hands softly through his curly hair, but he grabs your hand gently to stop you in order to pull you closer. You laugh softly as his arms wrap around your body protectively before snuggling closer to you. You laugh again, putting your lips on his neck softly. "Baby, we have to get up. Nate made me promise I would not make you late to the concert tonight, and it's already two hours till you have to go on." you tell him, trying to be stern.

It's two hours after you arrived at Shane's apartment, and besides the initial shock of you there, he immediately brought you close to him. It was not long before the two of you ended up in bed, except this time, just to kiss and hold each other. It's nicer than you ever expected it to be. You didn't realize how much you missed Shane's arm resting on your waist until he brought you close to him. It's no wonder why you have not been able to sleep in the past couple weeks without him.

He groans before throwing his legs over yours and nuzzling his fuzzy crazy hair in your neck. "You know I'm kinda upset you went to Nate instead of me." He grumbles softly, before looking up at you with a slight pout. "You're not doing anything with my baby brother, are you?" he asks, trying to be serious, but you can see the lightness in his chestnut eyes. It surprises you more than you want it to that he looks so absolutely happy right now. You have never seen him act so gentle and calm before. Maybe you understand your mother's and Nate's weirdness of your own abrupt happiness.

You laugh at Shane, putting a hand under his chin softly before leaning forward brazenly. "Oh you know it. Why didn't you ever tell me your little brother was such a great kisser?" you say softly, blowing softly on Shane's lips. You watch as his eyes darken a little, before growling a little. You giggle loudly when he flips you guys over, so that you are no longer side by side but so that he is on top of you

His lips go straight to your mouth, as he braces his arms to support himself. You are still laughing as he bites into your bottom lip before sucking on it softly. You moan contently as one of his hands goes down your side teasingly, while the other goes to your hair. Suddenly, all his weight is on you.

And for the first time since the attack at school, you feel pain course though your body.

You open your mouth hurtfully, as his hard chest presses into your soft breasts. Usually you can handle all of him on top of you, but today, along with the no sleep the night before and the long flight, it just hurts. Your hands that were lightly wounded in his thick hair immediately tightened their grasp, causing him to hiss slightly. He groans in your mouth, thinking you are just being rough with him, but stops abruptly when you push against him with as much force as you could. "Mitchie!" he exclaims, scoffing hurtfully at you. His eyes are in a confuse glare as they catch you pained eyes. Instantly, his mood changes. "What's wrong?" he asks alerted, getting off you in a second.

Your hand goes up to the space in between your breasts, rubbing softly as a strange feeling goes through you. You fake a smile at him, as he rubs your arm soothing, but do not know how to answer him. You feel weird – unlike yourself. A shiver goes through you, as he comes closer to you. He pulls you in an embrace gently. "Did I hurt you, honey? I'm sorry." He whispers, keeping you close to his chest. You shake your head, trying to rub off the feeling.

"No, no. I'm sorry. I don't know what just went through me. I just…it hurt a little when you pressed your chest against mine, but I'm fine." You say, sighing softly, before reaching back up and kissing him on his neck. "I'm sorry." You whisper against his skin, but he pulls back down. He does not look convinced and his lips are set in a thin line. "Shane, seriously. Let it go. I'm fine." You try to get him to believe you. You smile widely at him again, leaning against him. He sighs and nods, before kissing your forehead,

"I have to get ready for the concert." He tells you. For a second, you think he is mad at you, until you realize he is throwing you an apologetic smile. You roll your eyes and nod, before crossing your hands in front of you, inwardly wincing at the pain.

"I've been trying to tell you that for at least a half an hour." You say pointedly, and he rolls his eyes, before waving you off. He goes towards the shower, before looking at you smugly. The smirk on his face lights up his whole face to the point where you think he has forgotten that he was just mad at you.

"Wanna join me?" he says, leaning his head against the wall. When you smile at him, you swear you can feel your eyes crinkle as well. He looks so beautiful and genuine. You understand why so many girls worshiped him. You remember being younger and thinking he was quite possibly the hottest guy you have ever seen. That's all the fans get to see. The lights and perfect smiles and tousled hair.

But they don't get to see all of him.

"Just get in the shower, superstar." You say, throwing a pillow at him playfully. He laughs before disappearing behind the door, making you roll your eyes again before flopping on the bed again. You fall into his pillow, breathing in his scent completely as the water turned on. You have to remind yourself to steal some of his clothes later to sleep in. You jump when you hear the doorbell, before freezing and wondering what to do.

"Only open it if it's family." You hear Shane call out from inside the shower, and you sigh before getting off the bed reluctantly. You go to the front door awkwardly, and look at the peephole hesitantly. The person on the other side surprises you, and you almost do not open it, but Shane's words echo in your ear. You take a second to compose yourself before opening the door carefully as the last time you two met you got into a huge fight.

"Ms. Grey." You greet the woman politely. You expected a bitter glare or even being completely ignored, or considering it was you, and not Shane, opening the door, a raise of the eyebrows. But instead, you got a clear bright smile. Her eyes are cautious but soft and gentle, with no hint of surprise which makes you realize Nate must have told her you were there. "Shane's in the shower at the moment." You mumble, your arm going in front of your stomach to grab the other awkwardly.

She laughs. "That boy cares too much about his appearance. I swear lock him in a room without hair products and I think he would go crazy." She chuckles, still looking at you with a gentle stare. You have always heard rumors that Ms. Grey was actually a very nice lady, but after the hospital, you figured they were just that – rumors. "It's okay, honey. I didn't come here to talk to him. Although knowing he's actually getting ready as we speak calms me a bit." She tells you, as you close the door.

You feel shivers go through your body. She has no idea how much you do not want this confrontation. You have a feeling she going to drop the nice act any second and turn her nice eyes into angry slits that will tell her off in a second for coming in between her and her son. From what she heard from Shane, he and his mother were quite close before this whole ordeal. "Yeah, I've been telling him forever to get ready. He finally listened to me, even though he did play it off like it was his idea." you choke out nervously, chuckling rather forcefully.

The older woman gives you a sympathetic smile – not at your words but at your discomfort – and puts a soft hand on your upper arm. "Listen, honey, I know that you think that I was this evil crazy b-word, but-" she says to you, but you cut her off immediately.

Jus incase it's some kind of test or something.

"You're not. I don't." you tell her quickly, but she gives you a pointed look only mothers can give. You tense as you watch her, fear definitely coursing through your veins. You do not even know why. Maybe it is because deep inside, you really do not want to completely mess up a relation between you and the mother of your boyfriend.

"Honey, I understand, but you have to do is understand me. Now, I know when you are a parent one day, you will get me. I wanted the best for Shane. I still do, but I realize now taking him away from his family is never the best idea. Although, I wish I could protect him from the media and all this, I can't. He's an adult now, but he's still my clumsy baby who comes to me when he needs a hug. I miss Shane. He has slowly come back to me, but I need him not to be so distance from me. So this might be a stretch and it might seem selfish I guess, but I do not want you to hate me either." She says, and her voice slowly got more and more thick with tears.

You swallow and nod uncomfortably, feeling your eyes fill with stray tears. She had no idea how much it stung to you. _When you are a parent one day._ You were going to be a parent; you were a parent, even if it was only for a month. You will never forget that. "Ms. Grey, I understand. I think I always did. I knew you just wanted Shane to be healthy and you wanted him apart from anything that could potentially get him depressed again. I just didn't want Shane hurt. I love your son so, so much, Ms. Grey." You tell her with all the sincerity you can muster, which since what you are saying is true, isn't that hard.

She smiles, moving closer to put a strand behind your ear. "I know honey. He loves you too. You know I was only two years older than you when I married Shane's father? I've been there too. I've been the girl who could see anyone but the guy in front of me. Now, I was lucky. I got three talented boys from that. I just want you to be careful and I hope you are as lucky as me and Tom, baby girl." She tells you, her eyes as clears as Shane's.

You freeze when she pulls you in a hug, her arms tight around your back. It takes you a second, but you lean into her body. She smells amazing and just so comforting, that you relax and hug her back. You forgot how nice a hug from a mother could be. You separate from her and give her a shy smile that she gives back with a pat on your arm. The shower suddenly stops and you hear Shane's voice echo through the hall. "Who was at the door? Why don't you come over here so I can kiss you?" he calls out at you smugly – a smirk probably on face - and you clear your throat before throwing his mother an apologetic smile as a deep blush goes on your cheeks.

Oh, Shane.

XXX

It is about an hour before Connect 3 is supposed to perform and you are only now getting driven by his driver to the place. He explained to you since it's in a small club that fits only a few hundred people they didn't feel the need to practice beforehand. Except now, you notice the signs that he is getting a bit hyper – the hand wringing, the hair tossing, the feet tapping. At the moment, he is beside you trying desperately to fix his crazy hair

You almost laugh out loud, but you stop yourself, knowing he would send you a glare and a put if you did. "Here." You whisper softly, shifting towards him while unbuckling your seatbelt. You feel him tense softly as you reach up and run your hands through his hair, before he leans into your touch. He kisses the palm of your hand, and you swear to God, you see his eyes brighten with some emotion. He chuckles softly, as he pulls you close to his chest.

"I would say you shouldn't take off your seatbelt, but I'm here to save you if anything." He whisper in your ear, making you shiver. He smiles before kissing your earlobe and going down your neck slowly – teasing you. "You've never seen me perform, have you, baby?" he suddenly asks, but you almost don't hear it. Your mind is in a whirlwind of how he can go from frustrated to calm in seconds. You shake your head, turning to look at him. It is so dark in the car that you can barely see his face.

His smirk, however, is very visible.

"I'm glad you're performing tonight." You try to keep the butterflies down as you talk, but your voice still cracks. Shane moves forward and kisses your lips briefly, before pulling away. You let out an involuntary groan and he laughs, before leaning in and kissing you again. He does not allow you to deepen it before pulling away again. His eyes soften as he pushes you long hair back behind your ear.

"I'm glad you came." He says evenly. You bite your lip, opening your mouth to say something, but for the second time that night, you are interrupted.

"Mr. Grey? We're here." The driver calls from the front. You smile when you see Shane frown before rolling his eyes. Suddenly, he looks at you pointedly, and gradually you see his whole face brighten up – from his wide eyes to his cheerful smile. You lower your eyebrows at him confused, until you hear it.

_Grey! Grey! Grey!_

It surprises you that from inside a car outside the venue you can hear the crowd's chanting. Slowly, the words become loud screams until the voices join together as one again, proclaiming, "_Start the show! Start the show!"_ it was absolutely incredible. "I thought there were only seven hundred people coming tonight?" you turn to Shane as the door is opened and he helps you out. Shane smirks again.

"There are. Plus, a few hundred that are outside, hoping to get in." he explains, as another deafening scream goes through the air. You scoff incredulously at the few people you can see still in line from far away, as you, Shane and the rest of the band are shoved quickly through the back way. "Trust me, honey! This is nothing!" he yells back as the two of you are separated. "Wait till we play the Staples Center!" he smirks again before disappearing.

You are quickly led to the VIP section which is just above the people, and immediately you feel awkward. Mrs. Grey stares at you from afar with a smile, while everyone else just ignores you. You lean against the railing self consciously, looking at the screaming fans. You wince as each scream is louder than the next, all chanting for Connect 3 to come out. Gulping, you wonder just what does Shane mean when this is nothing.

Sure, it is a very small place – very intimate – but still it is seven hundred people jammed into one small room. The energy is off the wall and the screams louder than ever, as the background music starts to quiet down after ten minutes or so. You shake your head, wondering how you got to this point. A week ago, you were telling yourself you had to break it off with Shane because of stupidity, and now, you're about to watch him perform in front of seven hundred lucky fans.

You cover your ears when the loudness comes back at full force as the background music comes to a full stop. Suddenly, the lights go out and loud drum sounds begin to vibrate through the air. The crowd starts chanting their last name again, as bright lights start flashing everywhere. Suddenly, their band starts coming in one by one, starting from the string section all the way to the bass player.

And then, they come out.

You have never heard such loudness before. Literally, you are shaking horribly, and it takes you a second to realize you are screaming along with all the fans. The first line of their new single starts playing causing a serious panic. Your eyes widen at the craziness as you look at each member individually. Jason looks quite handsome in his light grey shirt, while Nate looks cute in his simple baby blue shirt and jeans. But Shane!

Shane changed after he disappeared, so he is now in a tight fitting white shirt and amazing pants. You gasp almost shocked, as if someone just punched you in the stomach. Just earlier you were feeling bad that the fans only got to see _this_ Shane, and at this moment, you realize that _this_ Shane – Celebrity Shane – is extremely amazing. He is a complete force to be reckoned with.

It is suddenly Shane's turned to sing, and it makes you freeze. How in the world he could ever give this up is beyond you. This is his natural calling; this is who Shane is. You can see it in the way his eyes light up and his body sways. You can see it in the way he gets to the crowd. This is who he is.

A rock God.

Your senses are put on high as your eyes never leave his body. He is unapologetic as he smirks in a way you have never seen him do before. It is proud and smug, but complete sexual and teasing. He knows that every girl would die to have him. He knows that every girl is dreaming of having her way with him. He knows that every girl is undressing him with her eyes. He knows that every girl's heart is beating wildly just for him.

He knows that and he is sure as hell using that to his advantage.

You sing along to every song, having so much fun as you dance and enjoy yourself. You are in so much shock at his power and at the complete loudness in the room. It is so hot and uncomfortable crammed up, but you would not change it for the world. You can feel beads of sweat fall on your neck from your hair as you applause and scream after a particularly loud number. You know Jason is saying something or another about Nate's birthday and for the crowd to sing happy birthday to him, but you seriously cannot take your eyes off of Shane.

He is smiling brightly, singing along with the crowd to his little brother. You try to sing along, but you are seriously too blown away to do so. When the crowd finishes and Nate blushes and everything's done, they go into another song. However, right before Shane sings again, he douses his sweaty mess of hair with water, emitting a loud scream from the whole crowd. He then proceeds to shake his head onto the front row girls, wetting all of them.

You shiver and feel cold all of a sudden, as deep want goes through you. You watch with sharp eyes as he takes off his shirt, revealing a small beater underneath. He throws another smirk to the crowd before picking up the microphone stand and putting it across his shoulders. The move accentuates his muscles and tone biceps; although pretty soon, he slides the stand down again in order to sing again. The whole crowd of girls is hysterical.

Shane, sure as hell, knows what he is doing.

"Thank you so much. I'm Jason!" the oldest screams to the crowd while doing an amazing guitar solo. "This was my little brother Sweet Sixteen Concert!" he yells, before pushing Nate up to the front. Nate laughs at him, pushing him back.

"Thank you. My name is Nate, and I love you guys." He tells the crowd, before singing some of the last lines of their most popular song. The crowd sings along to every word, watching Shane as he goes forward, grabs the microphone stand and gives that devilish smirk again.

"And I'm Shane, and this was Connect 3. Thank you for coming out tonight. We love you guys!" he says, his voice sending all the girls screaming again. It amazes you to no end that Shane could have this great affect on girls. You never understood it; you thought it was just stupidity on the girl's parts. But now, you understand completely why they fall in love with his doe eyed stare and his smothering stare. He is quite the sexual guy on stage, as you have just witnessed.

Suddenly, they run off stage for the final time, and you are being pushed by some publicist or secretary or someone to the back. Your heart is beating so fast as they bring you backstage. Your mind in still in crazed mood and you are breathing so hard. You can feel the desire and the sweat and the heat all over you. You know deep down you must look a mess. Your hair is sweaty. Your clothes are sticking to your skin. Your eyes are filled with lust.

You hear Shane's name being called from the left and you immediately turn, almost bumping into some random crew member. You see Nate and Jason with some other guys hanging out and gushing about the show and Nate. You go to them with bright eyes and a huge smile. "You guys did amazing!" you say, latching onto them. You hear laughter from the other guys they are with as you hug Nate and Jason, still almost squealing.

Nate hardly manages to get a thanks out, before you hear a voice interrupt him. "How about me? Was I amazing?" you turn around, feeling a chill go up your spine. Shane is leaning against the wall, looking debonair yet sweaty. You smile brightly, as a million memories of his smug smile and amazing muscles fly to your head, before running to him. You throw your arms around his neck, catching off guard and making him laugh as you kiss him roughly. His arms push up against him, and you feel all the dampness of his body on you. "Mmm, apparently so." He mocks, when you break apart.

You ignore him mostly, sliding your hands down his body slowly. "Hey, can we go somewhere?" you ask softly, so the others don't here. Shane smiles and rolls his eyes playfully, before nodding. He takes your hand, waving at the other guys before taking you inside what you think is a dressing room. As soon as he closes the door, you basically jump on him for the second time of your life. He gasps slightly as you attack him with a kiss, roughly pulling him to you.

He starts to laugh again. "Apparently, you really enjoyed the concert." He said as you kiss him everywhere – his mouth, his neck, his collarbone. "But, babe-" he starts, but you cut him off with another kiss. He pulls you close and deepens the kiss, to the point where your legs are to either side of his. Your hands wonder everywhere on his chest and neck, as he digs his hand into your messy hair. He begins to breathe hard as your hands start to unbuckle his belt. "Wait, hon. We have to…" you cut him off with another kiss. "Nate's party." Kiss. "We have to be there soon." He tries to tell you.

You pull at his shirt. "You think I can rip this?" you say sort of jokingly, sort of seriously. You move down his body so you are kissing his chest through his shirt down to his stomach and finally to just above his pants. You finish unbuckling his pants roughly before ripping them open and pulling them aside.

"Mitchie!" he says surprised, as you grab fabric and pull them down violently. You ignore him as your fingers go to the edge of boxer, still kissing his body and nipping at his bellybutton. He tries to grab your hand as you pull down his underwear, exposing him, but you get out of his grasp.

Except, you remember the last time you did this, he pushed you away.

Tentatively, you look up to look at him, and smile widely when you see his sharp eyes dark and filled with lust. Your hand snakes forward, your eyes still locked with his, and you start to touch him, to stroke him. He gasps, his eyes wide with surprise. He coughs slightly, as your thumb twirl around his sex. "God, Mitch. Remind me to bring you to concerts more often." He moans, his hand reaching out and twisting into your hair again.

You smile at him, still breathing hard, before taking him into your mouth. He hisses at the contact, his hand tightening in your hair, as your perform the act. You gasp at the taste, wondering if it really does taste this good or if you are just seriously turned on to the point where it doesn't matter. "Oh, Mitchie." Shane keeps moaning, as one of your hands goes off his sex to grab his hand. You smile when he intertwines your fingers, and then it hits you.

What the hell are you doing?

Literally, you have no idea what you are doing; you have never given someone oral sex before. You let go of him and take your mouth off, before looking at him with a deep blush on your cheeks. His eyes are still focused dead on you, while breathing hard and looking so blown away. "I've never done this before." You explain weakly, your knees starting to feel the strain. You bite you lip embarrassedly, not knowing how much of a turn on you are to Shane.

"Really? Because you could have fooled me." He says breathlessly, before his eyes turn even more intense. "Don't stop." He pleads, his hand gripping your hair before cupping your face. You smirk, inwardly proud at the effect you have on him. You reach back to him, taking him in your mouth again. You moan when you feel his hips start to move with you. The noises he is making are literally driving you up the wall.

You seriously cannot get enough of him at all.

Suddenly, his hands are stopping you and he is pulling you up. You sigh, but kiss every inch of his body before latching on to his lips again. He moans in the kiss, massaging your tongue and his skillfully. "Mitch." He groans, as you attack his neck. "Seriously, every fucking concert I ever do, you have to come to it. I won't take no for an answer." He says, before taking your chin roughly in his hands and kissing your square on the mouth again. "But seriously, we have to go." He tells you, his hands letting go of you to try to bring his pants back up.

But are still too turned on for him just to stop. You cannot just shut it off. "Shane, c'mon." you whisper huskily, your lips still kissing his neck. He moans as your fingers dip down to his sex again, and he moves his body against your reluctantly. You put your mouth to his ear. "I want you." you confess, biting skin softly. He moans and squeezes your hips.

"I know, darling, but I have meet and greets and Nate." He tries to tell you, but his voice keeps slipping. "I have to go." He whispers weakly, but his actions say otherwise. Suddenly, he is flipping you guys, so that you are against the wall, trapped between his arms. "Mitch, I'm serious." He says, this time more sternly, as your lips dance along his skin.

You shrug nonchalantly, as you continue to stroke him. "You did this to me." You accuse, before sucking onto his skin. He laughs, while still breathing hard against you.

"Oh yeah?" he says, almost smugly. "Not just you, you know?" he says, his voice tense as he starts to reach his max. "All those girls. Everyone single one of those girls wanted to fuck me. They all wanted to bring me backstage and rip my clothes off. They want to fuck me so badly. I can see it in their eyes, Mitch. Did you know that?" he asks, his voice hoarse and raw, as you start to move quicker and harder. "And yet, you're the one getting me off right now. How does that make you feel?" he continues mockingly, although his voice loses its power as his finger dig deeply into your skin.

Your surprise he lasted so long. Technically, he just spent all his energy on stage, singing and moving around like crazy. How he could get hard and respond to you is beyond your understanding. He breathes sharply, as he leans against the wall. "Wow, babe…just wow." He says, breathing slowly. You don't say anything; right now, you are too turned on to think about what he is saying. Instead, you go back to his neck and kiss him with the same fever. He groans, and pushes you away. "I promise I'll do you when we get home, but baby, we _have_ to go." He tells you, but you ignore him again.

He groans under his breath, pushing up against your body so you're unable to do anything. "Shane." You moan, pouting annoyed. He gives you a smile, before giving you a glance that you know is him telling you to stop. It drives you crazy. You want him so badly, that him wanting to stop, just makes you upset. You scoff hurtfully, and you see his face fall. You try to push him away, but his body is like a brick wall.

"You're seriously not getting mad at me right now?" he asks sharply, looking you straight in the eyes. You finally manage to get away from him by ducking under his arm.

"Nope." You say coldly, before leaving the room. You huff as you close the door. You're not truly angry at him; it's just you want to have him so badly. It takes him a minute, but suddenly, he is right behind you. He grabs you from behind, before pushing you up against the wall to face you. You gasp, slightly surprised at the sudden moves. "Shane." You say, with wide eyes. He narrows his eyes at you, making you freeze.

You are merely ticked off at him; he is mad at you. "Look, honey." He starts, stepping in closer to you. Your breath catches in your throat, as your pulse starts racing. There is no one around you currently, but you know anyone – fans, family, and paparazzi – could come out of nowhere and see you. "I promise you when I get home, I will fuck you, okay. I promise it will be a night where your voice will be complete gone the next morning because you were screaming my name so loudly. I promise you won't forget it." He says, almost like he is reprimanding you – almost like he is telling you your punishment.

A part of you wants to slap him, but every other part wants to provide him the handcuffs.

"Got it?' he hisses, his breath mixing with your short gasps. You only nod, your eyes wide with excitement and shock. "Now, can we please, go to Nate's party?" he asks roughly. Without getting your permission, he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers, and goes towards the exit. You only have one thought in your head as this goes on.

_This will be a night to remember. _

**XXX**

**Hey guys. I'm writing to you after a kinda horrible week. Right now as we speak, I am half drugged from medicine cuz of sickness. Plus, total drama with my brother and his girl, and me always being pulled in. I had absolutely no sleep last night, and as I write this I have been awake for more than 24 hours. Pretty lame, huh? **

**So, just so you guys know, my trusty beta, Sabrina did not get a chance to look at this… so if there are any mistakes, its cuz of me. Sorry. **

**Okay, I hoped you liked this chapter. it was charged. Lol. I love u guys forever and always (!)**

**Love, **

**Sandra**

**PS – Please please please leave a review. I have had a crappy week – YOU can make it better. I know many people read every week, but not even ten percent of them actually review. Please please please! Please! Make my day brighter. Tell me what you liked in this chapter. I worked hard on it! Next chapter at 918ish. **


	29. Chapter 29

"**She hates the sun because it proves she's not alone." Black Keys – Jonas Brothers**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 29

You have never been in a club before tonight. The beat of the music is driving you absolutely insane to the point where your heart has a mind of its own. You feel like you might explode because all the activity, but also because you have been looking for Shane for about ten minutes. After the performance – and your little session – the two of you were escorted to The Poison Cherry, a local club the Grey's had shut down for Nate.

Shane never let go of your hand, even when the photographers went crazy. He never let go when you got inside or when he got you a coke. He never let go, so it is pretty ironic and upsetting that you cannot find him now. You have no idea how the two of you got separated, but the next thing you know, his curly head of hair is nowhere near you. You sigh as you lean awkwardly against the bar, as people push past you roughly.

It is so dark and crazy in the room, you literally cannot see a thing; yet, you know the second someone's fingernails dig into your hips from behind that it is not Shane. You gasp as the person brings you close to his body. "Hey, baby." The person whispers in your ear. His voice is deep and husky, like he had been smoking his whole life. You freeze when you feel his fingers squeeze your skin, as he blows air onto your ear, "Wanna drink?" he asks leeringly.

You shake him off as quickly as you can, uncomfortably moving away from him. "No, thank you." You choke out, as you look around for Shane nervously. The guy smirks and puts his hand on the other side of you.

"Aww, why not?" he says, his eyes dull with alcohol.

"Because she promised the birthday boy a dance." You hear from behind you, making you gasp softly and turn around. Nate puts his hand around your waist gently, almost protectively, as he glares at the guy. The guy grits his teeth before rolling his eyes and lifting his hands in a surrendering position. "So sorry." Nate says sarcastically, before putting pressure on your lower back to make you follow him. As soon as you were out of reach, he rolled his eyes. "I only invite one douche-bag and of course, he makes a beeline right to you. What the fuck?" he reprimands you, putting his hands on his hips.

You scoff. "Hey! Like you just said, you invited him. I'm the victim, Mr. Mustang." You tell him, narrowing your eyes. You watch as his mouth twitches, trying hard not to smile. Of course, it makes you smile, before you remember that you cannot find Shane. "Have you seen your older brother? It is annoying the hell out of me." You frown, pouting slightly. Nate shrugs, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Maybe you should put a GPS signal on him?" he teases you, giving you a sly smirk. You roll your eyes, pushing him slightly before sighing. He laughs playfully, before raising a drink you didn't know he had to his lips. Your eyes widen and he blushes. "It's my sixteenth birthday. It's just one beer. I promise I won't let anyone see me." He says, his eyes going in full on puppy dog stare. You laugh this time, before shaking your head. "You want one?" he asks, tilting the bottle towards you.

You pause. You have had liquor only once in your life – when you came back from the hospital after the miscarriage. You have never thought alcohol as your idea as fun, and even if Nate Grey does it, you will not be swayed. "No, thanks, Mr. Mustang. Just soda for me today." You tell him, but he is not paying attention to you. You watch as his eyes widen slightly, as his face pales softly. He tilts the bottle towards you again.

"Take it." He orders sharply, thrusting it in your hand. You lower your eyebrows confused, but take the drink. "Hey!" Nate calls out, looking over your shoulder. You look back to who he is talking to and breathe out relieved. You see Shane's crazy hair over the crowd and smile up at him. He gives you a smile back, his shoulders relaxing.

"Where did you go?" you say, reaching for him. He runs his hand up your outstretched arm, before putting it around your body. He leans in and steals a kiss, before abruptly stopping. You look at him puzzled, before noticing his hand is on Nate's shoulder roughly. You bit back a laugh as you realize Nate was trying to escape.

"To the bathroom. Sorry." Shane tells you dismissively, as he makes a face to Nate. Suddenly, he looks back at you, seeing the bottle in your hand. His eyes widen considerably, and he crosses his arms, letting go of Nate. "Have you been drinking?" he asks, surprise obvious in his voice. You freeze, sneaking a quick glance at the tense Nate before smiling at Shane. You pinch your fingers together.

"J-just a little." You stutter out the lie, but Shane doesn't buy it. He narrows his eyes, giving you the hint that he knows that you are lying. Suddenly, he turns back to the reddening Nate. His lips go into a straight line as Nate shuffles nervously. "So, anyways…" you blurt out after a while of them just staring at each other. Shane ignores you, as Nate sends a _help me_ look to you. You sigh and almost giggle, before running your hand down Shane's chest.

You step in so you are breathing on his neck, as your hand pauses right above his jeans. "Do you want to dance?" you ask as seductively as you can. You feel Shane freeze besides you, and even with all the noise in the club, you can hear his sharp intake of breath. You smile in his neck, before going on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek softly. "Please?" you whisper, snaking your arms around his neck.

You hear a light growl from him, and you suppress a laugh again. You turn away from Shane swiftly, pulling him towards the floor, but not before giving the smirking Nate a wink and the beer back. Shane's hands quickly go around you, pulling your back to his chest quickly as you fit into the throng of people. You sigh as his hands protectively hold your hips and his lips tickle your neck to your ear as he lazily kisses you. "How much did Nate drink?" he asks you, as you lightly move against each other.

His hands drop to the hem of your dress, as his fingers very lightly brush against your skin. He puts his mouth against your earlobe as he squeezes your body and pushes you closer to him. Suddenly, the two of you are dancing perfectly against each other, reminding you of Hawaii when you were at the concert.

Which in turned reminded you of the pictures taken.

You immediately move away from him, a deep blush on your face. You turn to him quickly, to see his flustered and confused face. "Sorry." You mumble, and he lowers his eyebrows in silent questioning. "I don't want any more pictures." You confess, rubbing your arm awkwardly. His eyes widen when he understands, and he stands up straighter before sticking out his hand.

"Come on. Let's get out of here." He says, giving you a sad smile. "I only had to be here for five minutes anyways." he explains to you. You nod, before moving into his body again. He quickly waves to Jason, before giving a harsh glare at Nate only an older brother can give. Nate coughs in his hand, before giving a sly smile.

"Be safe." He calls out, but the two of you are moving too fast to really appreciate it. Shane immediately leads you out of the club, and into the harsh hands of the paparazzi. They take pictures viciously, taking pleasure in your obvious discomfort and fear. Shane never lets go of your hand again as he guides you through everyone. It isn't long before you are back in the safety of the big car he has.

You are shivering and shaking slightly at the flashes, even inside the protecting car. Shane gives you a small smile, before intertwining your fingers and starting the car. "Don't let 'em get inside of your head." He sings softly to a melody you do not recognize. You grin at his words, a little embarrassed, but smile nonetheless. The car ride is mostly silent, with your eyes darting to see him occasionally.

It's so funny to you.

Back in the venue, in the back dressing room, you wanted to devourer him whole. He looked so sexual and amazing that you would have done anything to have him. But now? Now, you just can only think about how beautiful he looks – just beautiful. The lights from the flashing cars and streetlights light up his face every few seconds, illuminating his perfection. He is just so damn beautiful, that it almost makes you want to cry,

You have always known that you would have to share him with every other girl in the world, and in all honesty, you don't even care. All that matters is that he comes to you at the end of the day. Yet, you cannot help but wish you could steal Shane and never let another person look at him. You hate that he has to hide his feelings and actions. You hate that he has to change for others to appreciate him.

If they only knew how _beautiful_ Shane Grey truly is, people would never have wanted something different.

He turns to you at one point, catching your eye. He gives you another smile, and it makes you heart skip a beat. He looks like an angel. The way the lights bathe him with a tint of gold, the way his eyes look so soft and full, the way his hair makes a halo over his head, and the way his smile takes away any pain you have ever had, represent everything that you love about him. Just the fact he looks like he could light up the world with that smile drives you insane.

You think you could stare at him for your whole life and be happy. He is everything you have ever wanted – not because he is a celebrity or because he can play such amazing shows – but because he is your angel. He may have had a hard time and a rocky past, but you know his future is filled with every possibility in the world. "I love you." you don't even realize the words escape your lips, until he looks over at you from behind the wheel.

"I love you too, Mitchie." He whispers, his voice cutting through the silence. You blush lightly as he pulls into the parking lot for his apartment, before letting an ironic smile go back on your face. It is just too funny. You really wanted to separate from him because you believed he deserved more, and yet, you have never seen him happier than right now. Maybe, you have decided, the future in itself does not matter as much as right now.

Because right now is all that matters.

You are happy, and so is he.

XXX

Once you are inside his apartment, you politely excuse yourself to his bathroom. You take off the scratchy dress and all the accessories given to you, before jumping in the shower. You let the hot water hit your back nicely, to the point where you feel totally relaxed. Hearing a knock on the door, you call out, "Come in." before shyly and involuntarily covering yourself. You give him a blush as Shane smiles at you through the see through curtains.

He has changed into more comfortable pants with a simple white shirt. You look to his eyes and notice thick black-rimmed rectangular glasses perched on his nose. He looks so human, yet so insanely beautiful that you just do not say anything. Instead, you breathe out softly and push back the curtains further. He smiles again, illuminating his face nicely. You figure he would take off his clothes as well, but instead he gets behind the tub, reaching out his fingers.

His callous tips trace along your wet skin softly, before tilting his head. "Lay down." He whispers, moving forward to grab the shower head. You lower your eyebrows puzzled, but do not say anything. You follow his orders, watching him as he kneels down behind you. He gently wets your head, before grabbing the shampoo. "Did you have fun tonight?" he asks from behind, but you can hear the cheeky smile in his voice.

You laugh, your face turning red. "I'm sorry I basically attacked you earlier." You say, as he massages your scalp. He laughs loudly, one hand dropping to squeeze your shoulder.

"Honey, you can _attack_ me any time you want to." He says, pushing you slightly to mock you. You swat at his hand playfully, and shake your head. When he talks again, he is serious. "I forgot what it felt like to perform. It feels like… you're on top of the world. Like… you own everything. All them people were screaming… for me, for Nate, for Jay… I just, it was incredible. I really am so glad you came and saw us. I just… it was great knowing you were in the crowd." He says, stumbling over his words.

Tears go to your eyes, but you do not want to ruin the moment with sadness; instead, you nod and let him finish your hair. You reach back and grab his hand, before squeezing it lightly. "I love you." you say again, trying to hide the tears in your voice. He presses his lips to your shoulder.

"You have no idea what you mean to me." He says softly, his hands slipping away from your body slowly. There is a certain stillness in the air that makes you look back at him. His eyes are light and hopeful when they connect with yours, before he smirks, changing the mood. "So, I promised you a night to remember…" he trails off, brushing back your wet hair gently. You close your eyes, before putting a hand on your hot skin. "I'll be in the room." He whispers, coming close to you before abruptly leaving the bathroom.

You chuckle slightly, before turning off the water and climbing out of the tub. Taking a towel, you enwrap yourself in its comfort before going back to Shane's room. He is face away from you when you come in, but turns to give you a light smirk when he hears you. Never taking his eyes off you, he slowly takes off his white shirt, exposing his hard abs. You swallow harshly as he fingers his pant's waistband, dipping a few fingers in between the cloth.

"Come here." He says softly, nodding you over to the bed. You nod, your lips still parted. When you get close enough, he reaches over slyly and unwraps your towel purposely. The white material falls to the ground in a daze, as his eyes lock with yours. "I need to do something tonight, okay?" his voice is so soft and so caring, that he could tell you he wants to murder you and you'll agree. You swallow again, before nodding. He breathes in sharply, a pink tint going on his cheeks. "Okay…" he trails off, breathing steadily while still maintaining eye contact.

"Yeah?' you breathe out, as he outstretches his hand. You intertwine your fingers on one hand, as his other goes up and runs through your wet long hair. He leans in slowly, before kissing you very lightly and pulling away swiftly.

"I want to make love to you." he says basically inaudibly. His mouth barely moves, and he is breathing hard. He looks nervous and afraid, yet vulnerable and open. His eyes search yours carefully as you stand before him totally naked and totally frozen. You feel like your whole word has stopped. You don't even know how to answer him. So, instead, you lean forward and place your lips over his just as gently as he had.

His arms go around your body carefully, as you press your wet body against him. He sighs quietly in your mouth, as his warm hands rub your sides tantalizingly. He breathes you in, before pulling away. "Shane?" you moan, but he just puts his lips on your collarbone. He trails his lips down your body slowly, taking his time. Gently pushing you down on the bed, he takes your leg and kisses his way up to your inner thigh.

He nuzzles his nose into your skin, before skimming his lips over clit. His tongue darts out and softly flicks it, before just kissing the sensitive piece repeatedly. His hand slowly massages your thighs, making your eyes roll back with pleasure. He kisses your tender nub once more, before going back up your body slowly. He takes the time to nip at every piece of skin available, his hands still massaging your body. You sigh when his lips meet yours again.

He gently takes your lower lip in between his two, before putting his hands again in your wet hair. Your tongues start fighting lazily against each other, while your chests touch. You have had sex before, but you don't think you have ever been so close to him before. It feels as if it is the first time you have ever been intimate with Shane, and that feels extraordinary. His hands get out of your hair to rub your sides, as your fingers pull at his pants.

He lets you slip them off, as he separates from your mouth and connects your foreheads. He stares into your eyes as you feel his hardness against your leg, and you feel your heart stop. It is like you forgot how to even breathe. You have never felt this way before in your entire life. You can feel butterflies fly up into your stomach, as he reaches down between your legs. Your eyes widen as his fingers start to knead your inner folds, making your part your lips in a silent gasp. "Mitchie." He whispers against your lips, as you moan softly.

Softly, he guides himself inside of you, making you moan loudly. He slowly fills you up, taking his time to make you feel every inch. He sighs softly when you accept all of him, before leaning down and kissing you again. You try to keep up with his kisses, but the way he is moving his hips against yours makes your head spin. You gasp into his mouth as he gradually exits you, only to slip inside you slowly. He continues this process, until his hand slips from your hip to between your legs again.

His two fingers push up against your clit tantalizingly, making sure to make you moan loudly with every feel. He puts his lips to your cheek before going to your shoulders and neck, kissing everywhere. You groan, before burying your head in the nook of his neck, nipping at the skin there. You bite his skin before letting your tongue run against it breathlessly, as his every thrust inside you makes your head spin.

You feel so complete and so close to him that you almost start crying. His body and yours are moving so skillfully against each other, it almost seems like you were made to make love to each other. You wrap your arms tightly against his body, as he falls deeper into you. "Oh, Mitchie." He groans, as he maneuvers his hips in circles. You feel sweat start to accumulate on your brow, as you meet his slow thrusts each time. Your breath gets stuck in your throat, as you feel your body go through the familiar feeling of vulnerability. "Oh God, Mitchie. You feel so-so amaz-zing. I love you so much." He whisper against your skin, stuttering and coughing as his mouth opens in pleasure.

His eyes widen as your muscles tighten against him. "Shane." You breathe out, pushing him closer to you with every thrust. It is moments like this that makes you wonder how you could ever get Shane. You can feel tears rush to your eyes again, as his chest rubs against yours. You have never done something so beautiful before. "I love you too." you whisper, you voice getting caught in your throat.

XXX

The next morning, you wake up in his arms, completely pressed up against him. He is lightly breathing into your shoulder, his hair and yours mixing on the pillow. His legs are in between yours so much so that you do not know which limb is yours and which is his. You can feel his fingers softly trace patterns on your side, as he hums a tune you do not recognize in your ear. You moan contently, before turning around to see his face.

His eyes are looking away from you with a faraway look, but they immediately go down and meet yours. A smile graces his face as his fingers tighten around your waist and pull you close to him. He connects your foreheads as a big smile goes on your face, until he leans forward and kisses you lightly. "Hello, baby." He whispers, talking against your lips. You raise your hand and brush back his unruly hair.

"Hello." You sing, laughing slightly. He chuckles as well, before cupping your cheek and kissing you again. You wrinkle your nose softly. "I need to go to the bathroom." You admit with a blush, and he rolls his eyes before letting you untangle your body from you. Lightly jumping off the bed and giving him another wide smile, you rush to the bathroom. You do all your necessities before freshening up and going back to the bedroom.

When you find the room empty, you bite your lip and slip on Shane's shirt over your head, before reaching into a drawer and taking one of his boxers. You smile as the fabric hangs low on your hips, before calling out, "Shane?" You hear a laugh from outside the room and roll your eyes. "Where are you?" you giggle, before leaving and trying to find him. Finding him quickly, you lean against the wall watching his lean body.

He is at the stove, cracking an egg into a pan, with just a pair of boxers on. You walk up to him and wrap your arms around his waist, before kissing his back softly and pressing your cheek against his shoulder blade. "What are you doing?" you mock, poking his side. He smiles and puts his hand over yours, before focusing on the pan in front of him.

"It's pretty obvious, Mitchie. Do I need to get you glasses?" he jokes back, pushing backwards into your body. "So, you know what I just realized?" he says, rubbing your arm with one hand as he flips the eggs with the other.

"That it is three in the afternoon?" you offer, as you glance at the clock. He laughs again, before shaking his head.

"No. I realized that I never took you on that date I promised." He says with a grin on his face, before flicking the stove off and turning around in your arms. He gets close to you and kisses you again, before looking into your eyes and moans softly. "So, tonight, me and you are having it." he promises, bringing his hands up to flick your nose playfully. You bite you lip and smile brightly.

"Yeah?" you whisper, and he nods. He runs his hands down your waist, before hugging you to his chest.

"Now, come on, we're eating." He says, before grabbing two plates that he had set out and the pan. He separates the food, with your arms still around him, before taking you to the table. Setting down the plates, he throws you another smile. "Do you want anything else?" he asks, raising his eyebrows. You shake your head and smile when you sit down in front of the plate.

And that's when it hits you.

The smell is harsh when it hits your nose. You swallow harshly as you feel your stomach start to swirl and the feeling of wanting to throw up suddenly come to you. "Mitch?" Shane's voice cuts through your nausea. You fake a smile at him, and you see his eyes flash with recognition. He raises his eyebrows pointedly, putting down his fork slowly. You shake your head, mistakenly taking another whiff of the eggs.

You can feel the bile going up your throat, but you swallow it down harshly. You breathe in deeply, before shaking your head. "No I'm fine. I guess I'm still a little tired from yesterday." You say, shrugging before picking up your fork as well. "So, anyways, where are we going?" you say, changing the subject. He tilts his head, sighing deeply, before rolling his eyes. He bites the inside of his cheek, before smiling again.

"That's a surprise." He says, as you play with your food. You swallow again, before bravely taking a bite of the eggs. Immediately, you feel sick again, but once again, you hold it in as much as you can with another fake smile. Shane sighs again, frowning a bit. "Are you sure you're okay? You look pale." He comments worriedly, his eyes focused straight on you. Laughing weakly, you shake your head.

"So what time is this date?" you ask, pushing the eggs away subtly. He breathes out slowly, before dropping his head and eating again. "Because it's the afternoon already and I need to get ready, don't I? Is it gonna be formal or informal? How much money do I bring? Is it gonna be expensive?" you ask breathlessly, asking quickly. You half expected him to look up confuse and lower his eyebrows; instead, he crossed his arms and shook his head.

"I hate it when you don't tell me what's wrong." He mutters, before sighing again. "Okay." He says louder, rolling his eyes. "It's kinda early to get ready, but I have to go to my main house anyways. Nate is gonna come over to give you some clothes my mom bought for who knows what reason. It's going to be slightly formal. You do not have to bring money. I'm paying – not because I have money, but because a guy should always pay on a date. And it will probably be expensive, but who cares?" he says, shrugging nonchalantly.

You bite your lip. "I do, Shane. You know how I feel about that." You remind him, but he rolls his eyes again. Finishing his meal, he gets up and pushes himself off the table. "When are you leaving?" you say, picking up your plate as he does.

"In a little bit." He says, putting the plates in the sink. "But I'll come to pick you up at six." Shane tells you, before going back into the bedroom. You follow him, watching him as he takes off his boxers and goes into the shower.

It is not long before Shane gives you a kiss on your forehead and tells you goodbye. Suddenly, you are by yourself. You do all the basics – you take a shower, pull out your makeup, straighten your hair, before waiting patiently for Nate to show up.

Nate comes over at five, giving you a large wide white box. "Apparently my mom thinks you have never stepped into a store, and you need at least one five hundred dollar shirt to your name." he tells you as soon as he enters. You groan, but accept the box. "Personally, I think if a girl wears something that doesn't scream 'I'm a whore', even if it costs less than a Happy Meal, I'm happy." He says with a smirk.

You pull out the small black dress she bought you, as your fingers feel the soft fabric softly. "I agree. Is that why you're with Alexis Texas?" you mock, raising your eyebrow. He opens his mouth playfully, before throwing a smirk.

"Well, at least I don't date a diva." He says pointedly, scoffing slightly. You roll your eyes, before pushing him in the chest. He laughs under his breath, before pushing you back. "Hey, now. Unless you want a bunch of tween girls coming after you, I would not recommend hurting me." He tells you, as you move away from him and into Shane's bedroom. You change into the somewhat tight black dress, before taking out your black pumps you had packed.

You take some necklaces you had before fluffing out your long hair softly, before spraying a little perfume on you. Not even taking a look in the mirror, you leave the room again, back to Nate. "How do I look?" you ask, twirling around in your dress mockingly. "Does scream 'I'm a whore'?" you ask, before looking at him.

You see his eyes widen, as he pales slightly. He halfway chokes on his drink before lowering the glass and coughing slightly. "Um, no it does not." He says, nodding at you. He runs a hand through his curls, as his ears turn pink slightly. He clears his throat again. "You actually look really good." He says, shifting slightly, before throwing a small smile at you. You knit your eyebrows together, bewildered at his actions, before shrugging.

"Thanks, I guess." You say, before rolling your eyes. "I hope Shane feels the same way, because this is the last time I get into an expensive dress." You mutter, as you pull the fabric down self consciously. Nate suddenly starts coughing again, his cheeks getting red roughly.

"But it won't be the last time you get out of one." He says under his breath, biting his lip. You gasp, your eyes widening at him. He puts a hand to his face, as his shoulders shake with silent laughter. "I'm sorry. Totally inappropriate." He chokes out, trying to keep a straight face. You put your hands on your hips, as your smile leaves you.

"You know, can you stop thinking I'm this big whore! I'm not. I've only been with your brother, so stop, will you?" you yell louder than you meant to, as your eyes narrow. Nate freezes, as tears rush to your eyes. "So go fuck yourself." You say, before crossing your arms and stalking off.

Nate sputters, looking at you uncomfortably. "Honey, I didn't mean… it was just a joke, Mitch." He says softly, but you ignore him. You instead lean against the wall, tears running down your eyes. you wipe at them stupidly, as Nate comes close to you awkwardly. You have no idea why you are crying, but it doesn't stop at all. Nate puts a hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't think… I never thought you were. I was just mad at Shane for his moronic ways. I do like you, Mitch." He mumbles, rubbing your shoulder.

"I don't know why I'm crying." you admit, sniffing and rubbing your eyes. You look past Nate, and randomly see your plate from earlier filled with eggs still on the table. Immediately, you feel a huge hard wall of nausea hit you once again. You can feel a cold sweat run throughout your entire body, and you put a hand to your mouth. Nate is talking – apologizing once again – but you barely hear him.

You push him away absentmindedly, rushing to the bathroom. Nate breaks off, watching you. "Um, Mitch? C'mon, I'm not that much of an asshole." He says, but you already entered the bathroom. Gripping the toilet, you throw up roughly, as you try to hold your hair back. "Oh, shit." You hear Nate's voice again from the door, before he goes to you quickly. He helps you with your hair, as he tries to steady you. "Jesus Mitch, I don't want to be the jerk who asks 'Are you okay?' when they obviously aren't, but are you okay?" he says quickly, as you stop.

Breathing harshly, you wipe your mouth, before hesitantly standing up. Nate holds you, but you slip out of his grasp and lightly sit on the floor. Nate goes to say something, but is cut off from the front door opening. "Shane…" he trails off. He gives you a look, before leaving the bathroom.

You cough again, before putting your sweaty face to the cold floor numbly. You hear Nate and Shane talk almost indistinctly. "I don't know man. One minute we're joking, the next she starts crying. Then all of a sudden, she is throwing up. I don't know what I did." You hear Nate say, as you groan and cover your ears. You hear Shane start moving towards you, so you flush the toilet and get up quickly, putting your hands on the sink counter roughly to steady yourself.

"Mitchie, what's wrong?" Shane says the moment he gets in. You shake your head, still facing the mirror. You can see his worried face, as he puts two hands on either side of you. "You didn't eat anything this morning. You complained about your chest yesterday. You looked like you were going to throw up earlier. You _actually_ threw up seconds ago. Nate told me you freaked out on him. What's going on Mitchie?" he says, almost sputtering.

"Nothing. Can we just go, please?" you say, trying to move past him. You see his face however and stop. He is complete frozen, with a pale face and wide eyes. He is not even breathing when he addressing you again.

"Mitchie, are you…" he trails off. You lower your eyebrows, waiting for him to finish. You move your head towards him, signaling for him to continue, but instead, he just takes a step back. His eyes leave yours as they trail down your body slowly.

"Shane!" you say sharply, and his eyes snap back up. "Am I what?" you ask, completely confused and slightly frustrated. His eyes suddenly are guarded, as he shakes his head. For the first time today, he gives you a fake smile.

"Nothing. Never mind. Let's go out." He says, reaching for your hand.

**XXX**

**Hey, guys! Im sorry it has been a long wait, but I had a horribly/busy week. On wedesday, my half sister I never really knew died. It was kinda weird for me, cuz I didn't know how to feel. I was obviously sad and I've been a bit distant for a while. On Thursday, I went to a sleepover/college orientation thing – not fun, but at least I know my classes. **

**Anyways, changes of subject, thank you guys for reviewing last chapter!!! it was the most reviewed chapter I have ever gotten. Thank you! thank you! now can we beat it with this new chapter?**

**And big news (cuz I'm a dork) but my story was nominated for Best Classic Couple award for the CR Awards!!! **_**Voting Period Begins July 8th, 2009 and ends on July 15th, 2009. **_**Please please please vote for me at www. fanfiction .net/u/1708311/Official_CR_Awards_Committee (without the spaces) !! you can also go there to nominate TMT for Best Overall Story and Best Mitchie Centric award!!! Please please please!!!**

**Haha, anyways I love you guys!!!**

**Sandy**

**PS- next chapter at 960ish. Thanks. **


	30. Chapter 30

"**Don't it feel like something's not right in his kiss tonight?" Dance Hall Drug – Boys Like Girls**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 30

You look at him silently as he slips off his shirt in the dark. It is after your date, if you can call it that. The way he was acting it felt more like if you were on a date with _Shane Grey _- the celebrity rather than your lover. He was quiet and distant, even as he held your hand in the car. You know there is something bothering him, but he just won't talk to you. You awkwardly shuffle on the bed, still in the dress his mother brought you, afraid to even move.

You don't want to set him off.

Instead, your eyes are glued to his form as he glides around his room in a flurry. He takes off his watch and slips off his jeans, but does not turn to you even once. You know he is avoiding you, and with every second you feel the anger inside of you multiply. Technically, you have done nothing. You became sick and you might have yelled at Nate, but neither are reasons for him to be angry at you.

Except he is not angry – he's just distant. It is confusing the hell out of you. You don't know how he is feeling, and even worse, you do not know how you feel. Sighing softly, you reach behind you to unzip yourself. You wince as the noise of the zipper in the outrageously quiet room. You see his naked shoulders tense, but he doesn't turn around. You stand up and let the fabric pool at your feet. You feel tears rush to your eyes as he opens his drawer and pulls out some pajama pants.

Your legs go on their own until you are right behind him. He freezes when your run your fingers around his back, before slightly shivering when you make a light pattern on it. Softly, you drop your hands to go around his waist, putting your lips to his upper shoulder and hugging him from behind. Hesitantly, his own hands go down your arms before intertwining your fingers. "We'll get through this." He whispers almost inaudibly. You pull away from him slightly.

"Get through what Shane? Jesus, you have been out of it all night." You say, sighing heavily against his skin. You see him roll his eyes, before flashing you a glare.

"Can you stop the act already, Mitchie? Seriously, I'm not stupid." He spits out harshly, turning around a bit in your arms. You scoff hurtfully, letting your hands fall to your hips. You raise an eyebrow pointedly, as your eyes narrow.

"Well, apparently, I am." You snap, crossing your hands in front of your naked stomach. "Because I have no idea what you are talking about." You tell him fiercely and he laughs humorlessly. You can see his eyes harden, trying to see if you are telling the truth or not. You throw up your hands exasperatedly. "Ugh! Is this about getting sick before we left?" you throw out blindly, and you see him turn his head away from you before glaring at you. "Well, that's a yes." You mutter, trying to think of everything that could possibly make him mad before something hitting you. "Oh, my God." You say loudly.

You see his eyes flash with something, before he crosses his arms. "Oh, great acting there Mitchie! Please, like it just hit you." he says bitingly. You sigh hurtfully, letting your shoulders drop. You shake your head, looking at him sadly. You cannot believe he would think something so ridiculous. Sure, you weight has been on the frits lately, and you have been sort of moody lately and throwing up randomly, but that's no reason to just accuse someone.

"I can't believe this." You scoff softly, looking at him. He is so dramatic at times. "Dude, I'm not bulimic." You tell him pointblank, and you see him freeze, his mouth parting slightly. His eyes widen as he looks at you shocked. Apparently, he thought you wouldn't just address the issue. You breathe out slowly, before relaxing your shoulders again. Your eyes and voice are soft when you start to speak again. "Listen, I know I lost a lot of weight and I know everything lately must look fishy, but I promise you it is just stress and life, okay? I promise I'm not doing anything." You tell him, reaching out your hand to rub his arm.

He scoffs unbelievably. "Are you really this innocent, Mitchie?" he asks absentmindedly. You lower your eyebrows, confused at him. He shakes his head, but his eyes never leave you. "I mean, come on Mitch! We've been down this road before. Sure, last time, we didn't talk much and we basically avoided each other unless it was in the bedroom, so I understand that you didn't understand then. But a lot has changed in the past six months Mitchie. We should have been more careful." He whispers the last part.

You scrunch up your nose completely bewildered, before shrugging sadly. "Shane, baby, I have no idea what you're talking about. All I can tell you is that I'm not lying. I'm not bulimic." You repeat, biting your lip roughly. You raise an eyebrow when he growls under his breath, his eyes becoming sharp.

"I know you're not bulimic, Mitchie." He says slowly, looking at you disappointedly. You throw up your arms again, before running a hand through your wavy hair. The two of you stare at each other for a while, and you swear Shane is trying to tell you something with his eyes, but it just doesn't hit you. Suddenly, he pushes himself off the drawers, and goes straight to you. You moan, still perplexed, when his lips go straight onto yours.

His lips are rough but his hands are gentle. They lightly go on your hips, not even squeezing as he usually does, but rather just resting them until his fingers glide to your stomach. You shiver at the contact as his tongue enters your mouth angrily, as his hand rubs your stomach carefully. "Shane." You try to say, but all he does is faintly push you towards the bed. He makes sure to place you perfectly on the bed, before climbing on also, although he lays next to you rather than on top. His hands pull at your bra straps roughly, even though his other hand is still putting slight pressure on your stomach. "Shane, c'mon. Stop." You argue with him as soon as his lips leave yours.

Suddenly, he pulls away from you, practically telling you that was planned – he wanted you to stop him. "Why, Mitchie? _Because we_ _haven't been using protection?_"he throws out pointedly, his eyes hard on yours. Your eyes narrow as you try to realize what he is talking about, until you feel your brain click. Your whole body feels numb, and you truly stop breathing. Everything in the room becomes louder, to the point where you swear you can hear his heartbeat. He breathes out slowly, immediately looking sad as you look at him wordlessly. "Wow, you really had no idea, did you?" he mumbles, closing his eyes.

You do not answer him – you don't know how to. You don't even know if you're even breathing yet. All you can feel is his fingers still dancing on your stomach. He buries his head in the pillow, groaning slightly, before lifting himself to you. He puts his arms gently around your body, hugging you to his chest. "It's okay, baby. I'm here. I promised you forever and always, remember?" he tries to comfort you, but you don't answer him still. You just shake. You really have no idea what to say to him at all. He places his lips on your forehead, before pushing back your hair. "Can you please talk to me?" he pushes you slightly, making you look up to him in a daze.

"Shane…" you trail off, breathing out slowly. He frowns at you, and you see the struggle behind his eyes. "I'm not pregnant." You whisper, shaking your head. He brings his head back quickly, his eyes opening widely before narrowing in confusion. A small blush goes on your face as you squirm uncomfortably. "I had my period last week. Sure, it was lighter than normal, but it happened." You admit, biting your lip. Shane continues to look at you perplexed, until he softly separates from you to sit up on the bed. He puts his knees up to rest of them and you softly move forward too.

"I still think you should go to the doctor's." He says, not looking at you. Gulping, you shrug slightly, making him breathe out angrily. "No, honey!" he says fiercely, his eyes narrowing at you. "The symptoms are all there. Plus, we have had sex like a billion times since you got off the Pill and never once did we use protection. If you're not pregnant, then you still should be worried." He says sarcastically, before rolling his eyes at himself. His voice is softer when he speaks again. "Last time, I didn't know what was going on, okay. It scared the living fuck outta of me when you had the miscarriage. I don't want that happening again. You're going to the fucking doctor's!" he orders you, but his voice cracks at the end.

You look at him sadly, as he glares at you. You know he is just looking out for you, but you know you cannot be pregnant. You would know if you were, right? A woman just knows. The man wouldn't find out beforehand. Thoughts start flying to your head, as your eyes become distant and your shoulders tense. You have had sex a lot and never once did it occur to you to use protection. You had always been far too gone at the point to stop and think about it.

You jump slightly when Shane puts his arm around your shoulder and pushes you to his chest again. He kisses the top of your forehead. "Maybe you should talk to your mom." He tells you, shrugging slightly. You laugh humorlessly, sending him a look filled with incredulous. He sighs, rolling his eyes somewhat. "Well, then, I don't know what we should do." He says, throwing up his hands angrily. You shake your head, scoffing loudly.

"Nothing, Shane. I'm not pregnant." You say sternly, and he glares at you again.

"You're still going to the doctor's." He snaps at you, making you wiggle out of his grasp and get off the bed. "Mitchie!" he says hurt, staring at you with his mouth parted. You fix him a glare before pulling clothes on you. "Where are you going?" he asks, as you slip on a pair of skinny jeans. He gets off immediately, snaking his hand around your wrist roughly. "Mitchie! We're talking right now." He says, but you get out of his grip.

"No, we're not! All you're doing in accusing me of being pregnant, even though I'm trying to explain to you that I'm not!" you yell back, but the crack are starting to show. Tears start to gather in your eyes, and his expression softens. He sighs gently, looking at you pointedly. For a while, your eyes are glued to one another, as both of you try to tell the other what's right in their mind. "I ca-can't be pregnant. Not again." You stutter, a tear going down your face. Shane frowns, but brushes away the wetness, before pulling you in a hug.

"It's gonna be okay. You might be right anyways. It might just be a fluke. You might have the flu or just be sick. You might just be PMSing for all we know, _which is why you have to go to the doctors_." He says the last part through gritted teeth, giving you another stern look behind his caring one. You swallow but don't answer him as you wrap your arms around him again.

"I don't want to feel the way I felt before." You admit after a while, as you fist close around the fabric of his boxers. Shane looks at you, his eyes narrowing in confusion. "I don't want to be depressed anymore. I hate feeling like I might commit suicide at any second. I'm happy with you, and I love you. I don't want something bringing me down again, but I know if I am pregnant than all the work and all the success we have had this past weekend will be for nothing." You don't even realize you are crying, until Shane puts his hand on your cheek again to wipe away the tears.

"Don't say that." Shane whispers against your forehead. "We'll find a way." He says again, but you shake your head again.

"I'm not pregnant." You tell him firmly, getting out of his embrace. You hear him say your name exasperatedly, but you leave the room anyways. He follows you with frustration, as you plop down on the couch. You bury your head in your hands, bringing your knees up to your chest. You feel like you should be crying harder than this, but you just do not want to. You wipe away the tears that are already there, but breathe out slowly. "Plus, if I am, then we're totally screwed. My mom would kill me. Your mom would kill you. The media! Nate will chop you. Jason would throw a fit. Caitlyn would burn me alive. Trust me, if I am, we will not live to tell the tale." You tell him, breathing out angrily.

He rolls his eyes. "Ignore that bullshit. I don't care what everyone else thinks. I want you to be healthy. I cannot be around you twenty-four seven, so I won't be around if something happens. Look, can we please go now? I can get appointment at my doctor's for you. I'll pay whatever. Please?" he tells you, slumping his shoulders. "We need to be mature about this." He frowns.

XXX

The next day, the wait is not long at the doctor's office, but it is enough to drive you crazy. You keep fidgeting and opening and closing your cell phone as you wait for the results. Shane eventually puts his hand over yours to stop you. Gulping, you lean into him, and start tapping your feet. Shane sighs. "I'll be with you when we tell your mom. Nate will have to deal, okay? We can…maybe we can convince your mom to move out here and that way I can be around. I won't be able to be here all the time with photo shoots and tours, but we'll make it work." He tries to calm you, but you shake your head.

"I'm not pregnant." You say in a sing along voice,, while wringing your hands. He sighs loudly and nods.

"Okay, Mitchie." He says defeated. "I really hope you're not." He mumbles, as he pulls you closer to him. You nod at him pointedly, before digging your head in his chest. You draw patterns over his shirt, before biting your lip and pulling away. You look at him, as he snaps open his eyes. You gulp softly.

"But if I am, will you promise to stay with me?" you ask, and he nods, still looking you straight in the eyes. "No matter what?" you push further, and he nods again, rolling his eyes this time. You stay quiet for a while, biting your lip harder. "Even if it kills your career and you can no longer perform?" you continue, trying to mask the growing emotions on your voice.

He sighs, before nodding. "Even if that." He whispers.

You stay still. "Well, that's not fair to Nate and Jason." You mutter under your breath and he shrugs dismissively. You roll your eyes, hesitantly leaning back into him. You don't know what possesses you to say the next few words, but you do it anyways. "Maybe I should just get an abortion… you know if I am pregnant." You finish in a whisper as he flashes his angry eyes at you. He abruptly lets go of you, and you sigh. "I'm just saying." You whisper, but you know you could never do it - especially, after how you felt with the miscarriage.

He does not let it go, and you hear the fury in his voice. "I swear to fucking God, Mitchie, if you ever do that, I will kill you. I don't care if you're pregnant - it won't be the end of us, but if you get an abortion, I guarantee you I will never talk to you again!" he says, his eyes flashing with anger. You roll your eyes, wondering where the doctor is, before turning to him.

You slap his cheek playfully. "You're very dramatic." You tell him, mocking him, and he glares harder at you, still looking at you like you're the devil. You sigh again, leaning into his tense body. "It doesn't matter anyways, because I'm not pregnant." You say again, just as the door starts to open. The both of you stand up immediately, you behind Shane, as the doctor comes in. The second the doctor gives you a small smile, you know your fate. "Fuck." You mumble under your breath, and Shane tenses before giving you a subtle glance.

"So, I have the results right here." The doctor taunts you unknowingly, but you do not need him to tell you what they are. You know already. Your heart drops to the ground and you feel sad immediately. It was not supposed to be like this. You were supposed to do so much more with your life. And Shane! He cannot have this in his name. You are both so screwed. "And I think you will be pleased to hear you are not pregnant." The doctor continues, flashing you a smile.

Wait. What?

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	31. Chapter 31

"**You didn't get to heaven but you made it close." 42 - Coldplay**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 31

It is two weeks later when you are thinking of talking to your mother about what's wrong with you. You have not stopped throwing up, even though you swore to Shane you had, and the tiredness and fatigue have not gone away. You are starting to wish you were pregnant, just so you know what's wrong with you. Because there is something wrong with you, and it's starting to get to you.

But you just have no idea how to tell your mother. You have already put her through so much; you don't think you can stand telling her anything else.

You breathe out slowly, trying to calm yourself. You know it will do no one any good to freak out or break down. It is better to just go through this calmly - that way you can look at things logically. "Hello, doll. What can I get you today?" someone says, presumably your waiter, yet you still look up startled.

Adam.

He is cute, with his boyish charm and happy eyes, but he's nothing compared to Shane of course. You clear your throat awkwardly. "Um, just a salad." You whisper, and he nods, before writing it down on the pad slowly. He looks at you expectantly, and you shrug. "And water?" you say, wondering internally why he is still there. He nods once more, before giving you a stare again. "What?" you say, huffing slightly.

"Why do you always look sad?" he asks, his eyebrows lowering in sympathy and confusion. "I mean, I know it's none of my business, but…" he shrugs, biting his lip softly. "I don't know." He continues lamely, and you do not know how to answer him. Anger goes through you, since technically you have been happy for a while now. It's not your fault if he doesn't notice it. He sighs, ready to turn at your silence, but stops. "Why did you stop going to school?" he says, catching you off guard.

"I'm homeschooled." You say, your eyebrows rising. Your hearts starts beating quickly. "How did you know I stopped going?" you ask, and you know your voice trembled slightly. You momentarily acknowledge to yourself that you would be a horrible celebrity if a person knowing random facts about you freaks you out.

Adam laughs playfully, rolling his eyes. "Relax. I'm not stalking you or anything. People talk - you know how it is. Plus, when I saw your empty seat in study hall, it kinda tipped me off." He explains, shaking his head, and his short brown hair falls in front of his eyes. Your eyes widen and you stop breathing for a second, trying to remember ever seeing him before the diner. "But anyways, I need to give this to Jake." He says, waving your order, before giving you a smile.

You watch him leave with guilt. You always complain and talk about how you are invisible and how no one pays attention to you, yet you are to blame as well. People only notice what they want to. If the world is coming down around them, they will only notice how no one's helping them, and not even think about how they aren't helping anyone in return. People are selfish.

_You_ are selfish.

You do not let people in, and when you do, like with Shane, it does not take much to push them away. Like with Caitlyn. Like with Sierra. Like with Nate. You cannot hold on to a steady friendship to save your life, and that is driving you crazy. You need someone you can rely on, but it is getting harder and harder to trust people. You take out your phone and start playing with it. "Here we go again." Adam says, putting down your water, making you jump. He flashes you a small smile. "I'm taking a break, so Leslie will give you your salad." He tells you, with hope in his eyes.

He wants you to stop him.

So you do. "Thanks for the rose." You say sort of loud, startling yourself. Adam smiles nonchalantly, before shrugging. "You wanna…" you trail off, pointing awkwardly at the seat across from you. "Sit with me… or something?" You ask, a blush going slightly to your face. Adam smile widens and he nods.

"So…" he rolls his tongue, looking at your pointedly as he sits. "What's wrong?" he asks, putting his hands on the table.

You don't know why you answer the way you do, but you do. "Everything." You blurt out, before taking a deep breath in. "I mean, nothing. Not really." You correct yourself, and he raises his eyebrow in confusion. You sigh and shrug your shoulders, looking down to your lap. "I miss my boyfriend." You whisper, your hand rubbing your arm uncomfortably.

"Well, he lives three thousand miles away, so that's normal." Adam quips and you look up with wide eyes again. He rolls his eyes. "Okay, that one is beyond high school gossip. That's like national tween news… and I have a little sister." He adds in a seemingly horrible afterthought. You let a laugh escape your lip, as you shake your head. He smirks. "Well, I made you laugh. Do I get a prize?" he jokes, as the girl you presume in Leslie comes a sets your salad in front of you, giving Adam a look.

"Thank you." You say to the girl, before glaring at Adam. "No." you tell him simply, and he laughs again before getting serious.

"Anything else besides the rockstar boyfriend?" he asks softly, looking at you with gentle eyes. You shrug, thinking of the many things on your mind. He sighs, looking towards his right as the chef of the diner makes a sign for him. "I think I have to go back to work." He mutters, but doesn't move. Suddenly, he takes your phone without asking and tinkles with it, emitting a _"Hey!"_ from you, but he just rolls his eyes before handing back your phone. "Text me." He says, before going.

You scoff and look at your phone and his retreating back, noticing he names himself "Adam the Great." Suddenly, your phone starts to vibrate, and without even looking at the number, you answer it. "What?" you ask annoyed, wondering why he is calling you seconds after leaving you.

There is a pause from the other end. "Mitchie?" the voice that comes from across the line is obviously not Adam, and it makes sit up straighter and gasp embarrassedly.

"I'm sorry, Nate. I thought you were this annoying boy from my school apparently - well ex-school. I'm so sorry." You stutter out, slapping a hand to your face. You hear him smile, but he stays quiet as you sigh. "I'm sorry." You repeat again, and you hope he knows that you are not talking about the call.

"I know, Mitch." He says softly, and you realize something's wrong. You should have realized it earlier, but in another example of how you are too selfish, you didn't.

"Nate? Everything okay?" you say, as you play with your food. You hear him sigh deeply.

"Ugh." He groans. "Ever had one of those days where everything is going wrong? Or had one of those 'shit, is the world against me?' days?" he says, and you sigh. You think you're having one of those days today. "Well, I am. Right now." You feel like laughing - at least you are on the same wavelength.

"Why?" you ask, biting your lip.

He pauses again. "I don't think _I_ should tell you." He admits, and you freeze. It's the way he said it that you know there are going to be fireworks in the next few days. "I think you need to talk to Shane, Mitchie. Something big happened and you need to know what before you find out over the web or something." He tells you defeated, and you freeze. Nate immediately gasps, obviously seeing the double meaning in his words. "Not that Shane is cheating on you or something stupid. It has to do with the band more than Shane, but he should still tell you." He corrects himself quickly.

You sigh. "Okay then." You mutter, and Nate clears his throat uncomfortably. Suddenly, something catches your eyes, before loud crushing sound is heard. "You know what? I'll talk to you later, Nate." You say abruptly. He barely gets a goodbye out when you hang up on him, looking out the window. A stunning silence has hit the restaurant, before screams are heard. People start rushing out of their seats to see the commotion outside, and you get up forcibly, knocking over your salad.

From the window, you can see the two cars that have crashed into each other, and you watch as the other car skids into a pole. You gasp, but stay still, as people start going to the individual cars and checking the peeole. Adam comes to your side as someone dials 911 frantically. "What the hell just happened?" he says surprised, his eyes wide. You don't even realize you are shaking until he puts a hand over your arm. "Hey, are you okay?' he asks, and you jerk away from his touch.

"Yeah." You lie, before handing him ten dollars. "Here. Keep the change." Waving dismissively, you leave the diner, and look on painfully unaware of how to help. There are too many screams and people just standing for you to bear, and you can feel your heart beating wildly. Sweat starts to gather on your forehead, as someone pushes passed you.

Suddenly, you are running. You run all the way to your house, never looking behind you.

XXX

Hours later, after you did your homework, you finally find the nerve to call Shane. "Hello?" he answers and you breathe in. He sounds tired, yet extremely annoyed. There people talking in the background, making you wince.

"Shane? It's me. Mitchie." You say lamely, and he sighs softly, not answering. _"Hey, don't look at me. I didn't tell her anything." _You hear Nate tell him in the background, only increasing your confusion and wonderment. "What's going on?" you don't meant for you voice to come out so hard, but it sounds almost cold to your ears. You almost apologize, but he cuts you off.

"Have you been crying?" he asks, and you hear the noises in the background come to a halt. You wonder if it is because people are interested in what he just said and shut up, or if he stepped out the room. Knowing Shane, the second probably happened.

"No." you lie, clearing your throat. You didn't mean for him to find that out. "Anyways, don't change the subject." You scold him, frowning. "What's going on, Shane?" you repeat, lying down on your bed. He grits his teeth and scoffs.

"You have no idea how fucking mad I am right now. Like monumentally, epically fucking pissed. They don't care about me or about my interest or how I feel. They only care about making money and causing gossip and getting people interested in me again. I don't want them interested in me - I don't want those people as fans if they don't like me for me. So fuck them, _but no!_ No, let's push me as hard they fucking can… for what? To break me? For me to become a fucking robot? I'm so done with this shit!" he rants, barely taking a breath, and you know he is alone.

"Shane." You interrupt gently, and he stops for a second. You hear him take a deep breath. "What happened?" you ask again, except this time comfortingly.

He sighs again. "I wish…I have to go on tour again." He says as if it is the worst thing in the world. You stay quiet as he breathes in and out, making you swallow. Memories of him on stage hit you and the way he looked, as well as the smile he had planted on his face.

"Baby…" you trail off, looking up to the ceiling, trying to find the best way to phrase it. "You were happy. Maybe it is better to go out there and perform and be yourself. When you are on stage no one is controlling you. I can see how pure and just raw you are up there. You love it. Take the opportunity to travel the country again. It might help." You encourage, and he doesn't say anything for a while.

"I agree, Mitchie." He mumbles, a bitter edge to his voice. "Going on tour might seem like a circus to others, but to me it has always been my escape." He says, making you confused. You sit up on your bed, swaying a little. You are still dizzy from the hearing the screams and crash earlier.

"Then?" you whisper, knotting your eyebrows together.

He pauses again. "The tour is not the problem. It's the fact of whom I'm going on tour with." He says under his breath, and you know he is probably closing his eyes. He sounds angry still, but also sad and a little hurt. Whoever this person is he does not want them at all to be there with him. You are about to ask who, but a loud noise from downstairs stops you.

Someone had opened the door harshly, where it vibrated throughout the whole house. The first thought that came to your mind was that your father came back. Fear goes through your body momentarily, but then you hear the familiar sound of your mother's keys and her heels. "Christ, my mother just scared the living shit outta of me." You mutter, listening as she rushes quickly up the stairs. It takes you a second to realize she is screaming your name.

"Oh, yeah? What did she do?" he sounds relieved for a moment as the distraction. You start to tell him, but your door flies open. You jump as you look at your mother, and your eyes widen and goose bumps go through your body. She is a mess. Tears are streaming down her face, and she is slipping carelessly in her heels. Her hair is a mess from probably running. Her shirt is wrinkled and her sweater is tossed raggedly on her. "Mitchie? What's going on?" you hear Shane say, but you ignore him. He says your name again, but you stay frozen.

Your mother throws her hand against the wall to keep herself up. You get up and walk to her, the phone still in your hand. "Mom?" you say surprised, fear obviously in your voice. "What's wrong?" you ask, looking straight at her as you raise the phone again. "I have to go." You say dismissively. "I love you. Whoever it is, forget about them. Bye." You say quickly, shutting off the phone and throwing it on the bed. You put your hand on her arm, and she looks at you sadly.

"Oh, Mitchie! I'm so sorry!" she tells you, her voice breaking. "I came as soon as I could. I practically ran here." She explains, wiping her eyes roughly. "Oh, Mitchie." She keeps repeating, throwing her arms around you. "I'm sorry. I can't believe this is happening. I'm so sorry." She says, hugging you tightly to her chest. You hug her, completely confused.

Until you freeze.

The doctor from California called her. You just know it. He explained to her that you might have been pregnant. He told her that you were there with Shane. Or else, if that is not the case, she finally pieced everything together and you will have to tell her you are not pregnant but something is obviously wrong - you just don't know what. She must have heard you throwing up this morning, or that you have only eaten salads in the past couple weeks. "Mom…" you trail off, your heart beating loudly.

She wipes her eyes again, and stands back from you. She takes a second to fix herself and her appearance, and suddenly, she looks like your mother again. She tries to compose herself, before fixing you a sad look. "Mitchie, I think you have to sit down for a second." She tells you and you swallow harsh, before doing what she is told. Your mother leans against the wall, putting a hand to her mouth. "Something happened today." She says, her voice breaking. A lone tear runs down her face, before breathing out deeply. "There was an accident in front of that little diner we sometimes go to." She finally says.

You furrow your eyebrows, wincing inwardly at the memory of the loudness. "Yeah…" you say, rubbing your arm. "I was there. In the diner." You explain, and she looks up surprised. Her eyes widen as she looks over you quickly, and you can tell she is trying to see if you are alright.

"Then…do you know?" she asks confused, and you freeze. You do a weird mixture of a shrug and a shake of your head, looking at her perplexed. Your mother sighs again. "I'm so sorry, Mitchie." She repeats again, and you breathe out softly. You understand that she is sad, but you wish she would tell you already. The suspense is killing you. "The accident…" she starts, before stopping. You almost groan, but sustain it, trying to figure out who in this town you would care was in that car. "Sierra." She whispers.

"What?" you say immediately, your heart jumping.

You keep your eyes on her, a light shiver going through your body. Your mother swallows hard. "I was going to get something to eat at the diner when the accident happened." She was there. You narrow your eyes, trying to remember if you saw her. "I went to help, and that's when I noticed it was Sierra and her mother. I waited 'til the ambulance came, but it was too late. I'm sorry, Mitchie. I'm so sorry." Your mother starts repeating again, as she wipes her eyes again.

"She's dead…?" you whisper softly, almost inaudibly. Your mother stares at you for a second, but then nods. "Get out." You whisper in the same voice, and she looks at you surprised. "Get out!" you say louder, standing up form the bed. Your mother opens her mouth hurtfully.

"Mitchie-" she says appalled, but you cut her off.

"Get out!" you say again, not even realizing what is going through you. You just want her out. "Get out! Get out!" you keep screaming, a million thoughts running in your head. She gasps, but stops leaning against the wall hurtfully. She looks at you intensely, and you realize you are breathing hard. Suddenly, she shakes her head and leaves the room. The moment the door closes, you fall to the ground. You cant even cry; it's just heavy breathing.

You knew that accident was going to affect you - you just knew it. It is almost of if God put you in that place at exactly the right time to witness that, which begs the question _What the hell is wrong with Him?_ Why does He keep doing this to you? Every time you get even a semblance of a happy life, He throws a curveball. It's almost like He is trying to tell you that even though you aren't pregnant, you are not off the hook.

She's dead.

She's dead. And what is the last thing you said to her? You don't even remember, it was so long ago. Ever since you have gotten with Shane, and that meaningless-almost-painfully-easy-to-fix fight you had, you have barely spoken to her - the girl you have considered your best friend since you were in kindergarten. You really are selfish. You don't care about anyone but yourself.

And Shane.

But besides that, you have completely ignored everything. You have alienated everyone - like Caitlyn. "Oh my God. She's dead." You whisper, but it still does not seem real. You start kicking things, even though you are still sprawled on the floor. Suddenly, your phone starts vibrating again, and you almost don't get it.

But you know Shane will freak if you don't. "Hello." You say, still breathing hard. Shane sighs shakily.

"Mitchie!" he says wildly, breathing just as hard. You wonder internally if something is going on today. Is today just the end of the world or something? He swallows loudly, and you can tell he is trying to choose his words carefully. "Did you… how's your mom?" he asks, because he doesn't know. She's dead.

"Perfect. Alive." You mumble, putting your face to the cold wooden floor.

"Okay, good." He answers, but you realize he didn't even hear your response. "Mitchie…something happened." He says, and you can tell he is freaking out. Majorly freaking out. You scoff, before darkly thinking that someone else died. It would make sense. "I know…I…" he sighs deeply, but he is still breathing hard. You feel yourself grow numb with every passing second. Sierra's dead. She's just dead. "So apparently, there's another Michelle Torres." He says quickly, but you don't interrupt with a question. You are hardly listening to him.

But hearing his voice is making the pain go away.

You are staring at something indescribable and you can feel the tears prick your eyes. They don't fall though. "And the samples were mixed. She was also about your age so they had the same top thing. I don't know. All I know is that the doctor just called me, and he is apologizing and pleading for me not to sue and to take you back to the hospital right away." He says so fast, that you can hardly understand him. Your head is spinning in circles, as you press your cheek harder against the floor.

"Shane…" you whisper, your hand slipping forward. You hardly feel any pain when it hits the side of your bed. "Are you trying to tell me I'm pregnant?" your voice cracks, and you hear him suck his breath in roughly. He doesn't say anything, and you get your answer. You numbly slip the phone away from your ear and turn it off, before throwing it. You jump slightly when a tear hits the floor next to you, and suddenly, you feel like there is an explosion going on inside of you.

She's dead.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	32. Chapter 32

"**But then things got complicated. My innocence has all but faded." Mess - Ben Folds Five**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 32

You are just a normal girl, completely hyper and excited as you fight through the crowd. You are here to see Connect 3 on their opening day of their brand new tour, and you cannot be happier. Your eyes are bright as they look over the huge crowd of girls and parents, wondering how on earth you scored tickets to see your favorite artists. Actually, the one thought that keeps going through your head is how the label or whoever convinced Shane Grey to perform.

The rumors going around about him are crazy.

The one thing you do know is that you do not like that girl Mitchie Torres. You know they are dating by the pictures that have been taken - no one looks at their friend like that. Plus, Shane took off his purity ring and is now wearing a necklace with another ring all the damn time? They are dating, you know it. For you, it is such a letdown. Here's a guy who was such a big model for purity, and he throws it all done the drain for a girl. A girl who is not even that spectacular. "Did you hear she might be pregnant? I saw it on Perez Hilton" you friend says, a look of scandal on her face.

You laugh, your shoulders shaking as you move forward on the line. "Yeah. God, I hope not. Think about it. Shane already has his image damaged because of her. Can you imagine if she's pregnant?" you tell your friend, shaking your head. Your friend laughs and shrugs, before turning to her mother. You look around at the amount of people, and you know that there should be more. Many fans left the band after the purity ring scandal, but many had left the band prior to that.

All because of Norah James.

The rumors and stuff she said about him caused many girls to immediately hate the front man of Connect 3, and inadvertently dropped them from their list of favorite musicians. "You think this whole '_we're friends again thing, and I can't believe we're touring together.'_ Thing is just a publicity stunt? Like do you honestly think Norah and Shane are back to being friends? After all that?" you say to your friends, and they shrug their shoulders.

"I don't know, but I cannot believe Shane or Norah agreed to tour together. They must have been forced." Your redheaded friend informs your group, and you nod, almost knowingly. You feel like you know Connect 3. You feel like they have been your neighbors or best friends once upon a time, and you are very protective of them. You remember after the rumors Norah sent out hit your ears, you immediately hated her. You have never listened to her songs. You have never paid attention to her before. You have never even read an article about her. But the second you heard about Shane and her, you were her number one hater.

And now you are going to see her in concert.

When you finally enter the arena, it looks like God himself will appear on stage. The way the lights and smoke are set up, it looks heavenly. You squeal to your best friend as you climb into your seats all the way in the front. The tickets cost you and your friends a fortune, but you know it is worth it. You are right against the stage and if you wanted to, you could finally be one of the people you always see reaching their hands out and touching the artist. "This is incredible." You say in awe, looking around the huge stadium. The stage is magnificent and you know you will have a great time.

You and your friends gossip and laugh, as you wait for the opening acts to appear and hopefully disappear just as quickly. You came for Shane Grey - not the pedophile-looking losers that come out and definitely not for the blonde singer. But you play along, dancing and laughing to the future pedophile's songs until they finish. With every passing second, you feel your heart go faster and faster, waiting for Connect 3 to come out. "They were good, weren't they?" you friend nudges you, indicting to the now empty stage as the lights come back on.

"Eh. They were okay, but they're no Connect 3." You say with conviction, and she rolls her eyes. It is not long before the lights dim again and the presenter - because there is one! - announces the next artist. "She has dominated the charts. She has won America's heart. She has toured the world. She has performed in front of the world's most famous people, and tonight she is performing for you. Please, make some noise for Miss _Norah James_!" he screams loudly, pumping up the crowd. They yell, of course, excited to see the girl who shook up the pureness the boys had way before the new girl.

When she comes out, she looks like a goddess. Her long flowing blonde hair flies in the air as the first chords of her song start playing. The smile on her face is genuine and her eyes are so bright, they almost make you want to throw up. She looks so excited and happy as she comes closer to the audience, her feet stomping with the music. You watch her intensely, jealousy entering you. That girl has it all. Talent, looks, and Shane Grey close by. But eventually her set finishes as well, and your nerves go in overdrive. You jump excitedly with your friends as the minutes tick away and the lights come back on.

Suddenly, there is loud music playing, making everyone's hearts beat in anticipation. The lights go off and screams bounce off the walls. You can feel the stadium shake with energy as you notice the center of the stage open upwards, and three heads are suddenly visible. You don't think you have ever screamed so loud before as their music starts playing. Nate's voice echoes through the stadium, until every girl is singing along. Your eyes look Nate over quickly - white, leather jacket, tight jeans - and you catch a glimpse of Jason - black button-down, tight jeans - but they aren't who you came for.

Your eyes immediately seek Shane, and you freeze as you see his budging naked biceps in a small little black wife beater. His hair is a mess, but it looks beyond good. His legs - and dare you say it - ass look tight and scrumptious to the point where you hardly hear what Nate is singing. When it's Shane's turn, your heart drops.

His voice is so amazing.

You are shivering but you hardly notice. There are too many screams, too much movement, and too little recognition for you to even breathe. People are pushing up on you, trying to get closer to anyone of them, but you stand your ground. Your eyes never leave Shane - not once.

Not ever.

It is after the show has calmed down for a while that you focus on the little things. You see the private almost unperceivable looks Nate gives Shane, making you realize he is missing his marks. He sings and he remembers every word, but Shane is on autopilot. He does what he is told, but he hardly realizes he is doing it. His eyes once so bright - at least when he was performing - are now dull yet stormy. It's then you realize, Shane is not the front man tonight. Nate is.

Shane is just hiding in the background.

And then suddenly, you see what happens next before it actually does. Shane's foot gets tangled in some cords, and he trips forward. Half the crowd notices, the other half doesn't until he is back up and they are left wondering why people are gasping. Nate gives Shane another look, but he just shrugs. "Oh, fucking well." He mutters, and the parents catch that. But the next song is on, and Nate goes back to placating them. Shane goes back to the back, nursing a tender hand as he tries to sing and goes back to auto drive.

And you can't help but wonder: what the fuck happened to Shane Grey?

XXX - _Mitchie_

"Are you fucking crazy, Shane? Do you want our label to drop us?" Nate's voice echoes through the hall, but you are hardly paying attention. You meant to go see them tonight; you promised Shane you would step out and go. But it was too hard. You cannot just go back into the daylight, and have all them people look at you. The darkness - the hotel room really - was safer.

Your head is pressed onto the cold floor in the bathroom, as you hear the door to the hotel open. "So I cursed? Big deal! Let's all jump off a bridge. Please, Nate." His voice goes from annoyed to worried and distant in seconds. You know he is searching the room for you, and in a second will pound on the door to make sure you are okay. You should really get up and move to at least not scare him more than he already is, but you just cannot seem to feel any part of your body. You fee numb - so numb - and as if you were disconnected from your body.

You feel like you aren't even you anymore.

"Mitchie?" you hear his voice whisper, much softer and much tender than when he spoke to his brother. "You in there?" he asks, lightly knocking on the door. You really do want to get up and open the door, but the floor feels so nice against your shivering body. You hear him turn back to Nate and say something, before the door to room closes. A second later, Shane returns to the bathroom door, before gently opening it and stepping in. You see him wince at the state you are in, a frown going on his face. For a moment, you swear something flicker in his eyes.

He comes to you swiftly, his hand automatically spraying on your stomach the same way he has done since he found out you were pregnant a month ago. He wraps his arms around your body, helping you up in the process, before skillfully carry you. Your hands go around his neck, holding him tightly. "I don't feel good." You admit to him, and he sighs as he puts you down on the bed. He gently rubs your back, as you put your forehead against his stomach. He kisses the top of your head, before brushing back your hair. "This sucks." You say almost pathetically, and he lets out a dry chuckle.

"Tell me about it." he mutters darkly, rolling his eyes. You sigh before reaching for his hand, noticing right away when he pulls back and hisses.

"What happened to your hand?" you ask, reaching for it again. This time he lets you touch it, as you look at the rawness of it. "Jesus, Shane. I think you have to get this checked." You tell him, biting your lip. "What did you do?" you ask again, shaking your head. Shane rolled his eyes.

"I fell. Big deal." He says exasperatedly, as if he has been saying it all day. "And it's just a bruise. Trust me. I've fallen enough time to know when something is serious and when I have to just suck it up." He sighs, before pulling his hand down onto your stomach. You close your eyes as softly puts pressure on it. "How have you been?" he asks, and you don't know whether he is talking to or the baby, but it makes you smile slightly.

"My mom called." You tell him, and he mumbles an agreement. He softly climbs on the bed, pulling you down with him. Snuggling up close to him, you kiss his arm when he wraps himself around you. You breathe out softly, before continuing. "She wants to know when I'm coming home." You say, your fingers still intertwined with his. "She thinks that a month has been a month to quote unquote recuperate." You sigh, and he kisses your temple as the anger you remember having when she told you that ignited inside of you again. "Because it isn't like my best friend died or anything." You say bitterly, shaking your head.

He stays quiet for a while, before nudging your neck with his fuzz of a head. "You know… we still haven't talked about Sierra." He whispers against your skin, and you flinch at her name. He bites his lip. "Sorry." He whispers, and you gulp.

"We haven't talked about her, because I don't want to talk about her." You say, your tone a little more filled with attitude than you should when you are talking to Shane. Instead of the glare and eye roll you expected, he gives you a sad smile, before reaching up and kissing your lips softly. He is kind to you in a way that makes your heart flutter. "I'm sorry." You whisper as soon as you separate. He shrugs, wrapping his arms around your small tummy.

"You don't wanna talk, then you don't wanna talk about it. I just want to make sure that you are okay, baby." He says, trying so hard to be nonchalant, but you can hear the fear behind his voice. He is worried that you will have another miscarriage because of the stress, which really considering the fact you already had one - the chances are increased. He stays silent for a while longer, before squeezing your side softly. "When are we gonna tell your mom? I think my mom is catching on, and I think so has Nate." He says pointedly, and you shrug awkwardly.

"How about we just don't?" you say, giving him a fake wide smile. He fixes you with the glare you were expecting, but you shrug him off. "How was the show? Besides you falling of course." You tease him, but your mind is still on Sierra. _Baking cupcakes. Writing songs together. Watching crappy movies._ The memories continue to haunt you. He shakes his head, rolling his eyes, and you know he doesn't want to talk about it. "Any hot fans? Or Norah? How did she look?" you continue to taunt him, poking him in the stomach lightly. _Babysitting your brother. Going to the fair. Buying J-14 for Shane Grey's poster._

"All the fans that come to my show are like 12, Mitchie. Contraire to popular belief, I am not a pedophile, thank you very much." He argues with you, pulling you closer to him. "What are you think about?" he whispers in your ear, as he notices your distant stare. You don't answer him. "Tell me about her." He suddenly asks, rubbing your arm softly. You freeze and again don't say anything. He sighs and you can tell he is going to back off. You really wish you could talk about it, but you just cannot stand to cry ever again. "You should talk to someone about it, Mitchie. It's not good to keep things bottled up. Trust me." He whispers the last two words sadly against you. "What about your other friend?" he nudges you.

You look at him confused, before it dawns on you. "Caitlyn?" you ask, and he nods, playing with your hair. "I haven't talked to her since way before…what happened. I should, I guess." You admit absentmindedly, and he nods again. You suddenly reach down and put your hand over his on your stomach. "We should go to sleep. We need to get on a plane tomorrow at eight, and then you have a show." You remind him, and he groans.

"What-the-fuck-ever." He spits out. "I swear those girls in the front row were looking at me like I was diseased." He says bitterly.

You crack a smile, rubbing his face softly. "Maybe they were Norah James fans. I know I was." You say, as he reaches and throws the covers on you both. Suddenly, he glares at you, stopping midway. You turn so you face him completely, raising an eyebrow at his stillness. "I was just kidding, Shane. They probably hated her." You mock, and he narrows his eyes.

"You were a fan?" he asks, his voice very still. You just stare at him, before bravely nodding you head, wanting to know his reaction. He sits up, further from you - still with narrow eyes. "Please tell me you're just messing with me." He says, still frozen. You chuckle and shake your head.

"You would think that after a month of touring with her you would get used to her?" you say pointedly, and you reach for him. He smacks your hand softly away, still glaring.

"Um, no." he snaps, rolling his eyes. "I still hate that bitch, and I'm still so fucking mad that my stupid label has made me tour with her." He says angrily, and you bite your lip. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to test Shane's patience, especially after a relatively bad-ish show. "And now the girl I'm in love with tells me she was a fan?" he says pointedly, looking at you with angry eyes. Your smile drops and you sit up awkwardly.

"Shane, I just meant-" you start, but you stop when you see a small smirk on his face. You lower your eyebrows confused, until you realize he is just teasing you back. "You're a jerk." You say, falling back onto the bed. Shane chuckles softly, coming back to you. He wraps his arms around you again.

"I know. It's what I'm known for, remember?" he nudges you, kissing your temple again. You roll your eyes at him, but snuggle back up to him. You smile softly as he starts singing you to sleep, until you drift off completely.

XXX

"Are you pregnant?"

You choke on the piece of fruit you were eating at the moment and look up at your lover's brother. He sighs and softly taps your back as you continue to cough and choke. You clear your throat one last time before facing him again. "I don't know what you're talking about." You lie, setting down your fork with a small clank. He sighs and shakes his head, before going back to his meal. You look around nervously, watching if anyone heard him, but no one - not even Shane - is paying attention.

"I think you are." He presses, looking at you seriously. "Have you been going to the doctor's? Are you on the right vitamins? Should you be with us touring? I mean, I know you want to be close to Shane, but after last time, is it worth it?" Your heart melts a little. He's concerned. It is so nice and so horrible at the same time. And then the last part of his sentence hits you.

Last time.

"Jason, nothing bad is going to happen. I've been to the doctor's. I am on the right medicine. And I probably shouldn't be touring, but I need Shane. Plus, home…is not an option right now, okay." You tell him, and Jason sighs, putting down his fork as well. You see Nate in the background, starting to come your way to sit down. "And please, don't tell anyone. Please, Jason." You start freaking out, your eyes wide. Jason frowns and looks at you sadly.

"Okay, but Shane knows, right?" he says hesitantly, just as Nate sits down.

"Shane knows what?" he asks, taking a napkin. He flashes you a small smile and you nod at him, trying to calm down. You fix Jason with a glare, before continuing.

"That I was thinking of cutting my hair." You supply awkwardly, before smiling at Jason when he nodded. "Of which of course he does. He practically knew before I even told him." You try to tell Jason without sounding too out of it. Of course, Nate gives you a strange look, narrowing his eyes. You smile at him again, before picking up your fork and spearing another piece of fruit. When you look up, Nate's eyes are still on you.

Damn the fact that kid is smart.

He looks at you suspiciously, and you know he knows something is up. Your heart starts racing, as you suddenly set down your fork again. "I have to go." You sputter out, before pushing yourself away from the table. The brothers watch you - one in surprise, the other in sadness - but you quickly leave the diner. You run outside to the large bus that is your boyfriend's. On the way there, you cannot help but look over to Norah's extravagant bus as well. You will probably never tell Shane another small reason as to why you don't want to leave him while on tour.

You're scared of her.

You stop at his door, before taking a deep breath and climbing in. Shane stayed inside, opting out of early morning breakfast for a couple more minutes of needed sleep. You walk in quietly trying not to disturb him, but secretly wishing you would so he would wake up and tell him about Jason. You are practically shaking and you don't know what to do, but you are certain he would. Walking to his bunk - and yours after everyone went to sleep - you pull the curtains to look at him. You smile, forgetting for a second all your problems, as you watch his chest go up and down slowly. His hair is literally a bird's nest and his sheets are tangled every which way. His pillow is stained with drool and he is lightly snoring.

He still looks like an angel.

You want to climb in with him, but you are too shaken up to do so. Will Jason tell? Who would he tell if he did? Nate? Definitely. Mrs. Grey? Quite possibly. Your mother? God, you hope not. Sighing, you almost start to walk away to go to the small couch up front, but a small buzzing hits your ears. You look quickly at Shane and when he doesn't move, you go and grab his phone. The sleek, nice iPhone looks like it is brand new, and you wonder how many of these phones Shane goes through a month. You have already needed to learn a new number twice since you met him because people find out what it is.

You hesitantly look down at the phone, trying to stop the vibration. For a second, you tell yourself to stop - to not invade Shane's privacy this way, but the temptation is too great. Gulping, you realize the text is from Nate, and you cannot stop yourself form opening. _"Okay. I'm done with these games, Shane. I need to know what's going on. M just freaked at the table. Wtf is going on, Shane?!_ It reads, and your heart drops. You look at the still sleeping Shane and swallow harshly, before looking back at the black phone.

Nate is suspicious. Nate is more than suspicious. Nate knows there's something. Shit.

Your heart starts going into overdrive again, and you unconsciously grab the little bump you have on your stomach. You stare at the phone, feeling your eyes fill with tears as one lone drop falls on the screen. "Fuck my life." You mutter, looking up at the ceiling of the bus before glancing back to the phone. You gulp, wondering if you should do it. Technically, Shane will see Nate later - so no matter what, this feeling will be shared. On the other hand, if you can prolong the eventual conversation by just a day that would be pretty awesome as well. Gulping again, you do it.

You press delete.

You breathe out loudly, guilt immediately running through your veins as Shane gives out a particularly loud sigh. You jump and look at him, before closing your eyes in relief. You go to put down his phone, but something else catches your eyes. The screen is at _All Messages _and you immediately notice a name with the highest count of text messages. It's not your name, but you know it is meant for you. On it, the words "Secret Valentine" shine back at you.

Memories comes flashing back at you. You remember how nervous he was about playing it. You remember his hesitancy at telling you he loved you. You remember how vulnerable he was. Of course, the fact that Nate interrupted you two also comes to you. Sighing you try to put the phone back to the main menu, but you don't know how. You press the wrong buttons and you get into the wrong places. Suddenly, you are in his contacts and you see numbers of artists after artists. You try to exit out, as panic starts to settle inside of you. "How do I get you back to the main menu? Work, dammit." You say out loud in a loud whisper, as you randomly start pressing buttons again.

"Hit the indented button with the white square on it." comes a voice from the bed, and you jump up in the air. "What are you doing?" he asks, but not accusingly as you expected. Just tired. He sounds exhausted, as you hit the button lamely. You try to talk, but just shrug instead. He closes his eyes again. "Come to bed, honey." He dismisses the subject, before reaching out for you.

Your heart breaks, but you do as you are told. His arms immediately wrap around you, before pulling the covers so they hug you too. Not even a minute later, you feel his breathing deepen as he falls back to sleep and leaves you to your guilt.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	33. Chapter 33

"**So now you see why I'm scared. I can't open up my heart without a care." Catch Me - Demi Lovato **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 33

You bite your lip as the harsh rain hits the ground rhythmically and the gray sky crackles with anger. From the window, it seems like the whole world is breaking down. Softly and slowly, you manage to push open the window, and immediately the wind punches you in the face with its violent ways. You suck in your breath loudly when the water starts spitting your face and body, but you do nothing to stop it. "You know you can get a cold, right?" comes a voice from behind you. Whipping your head towards the voice, you freeze and resist the temptation to narrow your eyes at her.

"Norah." You say, acknowledging her with a slight nod, before glancing back out the opened window. She is beautiful of course, with her long blonde hair and model-like body. You hear her swallow gently, before sitting on the windowsill with you. Briefly you wonder how she got onto your bus, but knowing Nate and his need to fix things, you let it go. Closing your eyes, you stay still as the rain continues to drench your skin. In a way, it feels nice. Your skin feels like it is a million degrees but the rain is helping.

For a while nothing is said, but you do not mind. You ignore her mostly, until she shuffles. "Mitchie's pregnant, isn't she?" her voice makes you jump, and it takes you a second to realize what she said. Your eyes widen for less than a moment before your face wipes away any emotion. You face her coldly, and raise an eyebrow. She shuffles again, her pale face lighting up with a tint of red. You see that her own face is filled with moisture, and honestly, you do not know if the wetness if completely from the rain or also from any stray tears.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You answer her with such a detached voice, you can tell she knows. She looks away from you, opting instead to glance out the opened window much like you were before. Her crystal blue eyes focus on something faraway, instead of giving you the glare you expected. She does not say anything for a long time, and after a while, you start to fidget. "It's none of your business anyways." You snap at her, anger behind your controlled voice. She takes a breath, before turning back at you. She looks so sad that it makes you want to kill her. "Stay the fuck out of my life, Norah, and leave Mitchie out of this." You say through gritted teeth.

Hurt flickers in her eyes and her lips part slightly. "Shane…" she trails off, her voice still the same pureness it was before. Your glare intensifies as you ball your hands into fists unconsciously. The two of you stay in silence once again until she turns to back to the rain. When she talks again, her voice cracks. "I didn't…I never meant to hurt you." She whispers. Anger immediately rushes all over you, until you practically see red.

"You didn't mean to hurt me, Norah!" you yell, your eyes flashing. She flinches and opens her mouth, but you cut her off. "You knew what I was going through, Norah. You knew how messed up me and my dad were. You knew that I was depressed. I still don't understand how a person can tell someone they will be there for them, and then suddenly dump them the next day. Not only that but also tarnish my reputation like it was nothing, just so _America's Sweetheart_ didn't get blamed." You scream, standing up. You see the tears behind her eyes before they even fall.

"That's not how it went, Shane." She says, and her voice sounds so sad, so far away.

You laugh humorlessly. "Really? Because that's how I remember it." you say darkly, shaking your head. "You know, I thought you were a good person. That's why I trusted you. God, you know that for such a long time after that, I didn't want anything to do with girls at all. I just didn't care. You made me hate women for so long, and I would have continued if it wasn't for Mitchie." Your voice gets progressively louder, and every time she tries to interrupt, you ignore her. "You know I got with her within a week because she was the exact opposite of you. I would never do something like that normally, but it felt so good having a go with her because _she wasn't you_." You hiss at the end, and she finally blinks out some tears.

You see her eyes narrow. "They made me break up with you." She says, her voice filled with pain and anger and tears. She is just as hurt as you are. "The label hated us together after they realize we actually worked. I had to!" she screams, when you turn away from her, waving her off. "Shane, I'm serious. You think I wanted to? You were everything to me, but my job…" she trails off, her voice cracking.

"But your job was more important than my life, Norah. Christ, I almost killed myself afterwards. Don't you even care?" you yell even louder, turning back at her with a glare. Suddenly, emotions take over you, and for a second, you feel your eyes water. "I loved you, you bitch." You snap, shaking your head. She takes an intake of breath, looking at you with tears streaming down her prefect face as she stands up.

"Of course, I cared. I still care. I loved you too, Shane, but you wouldn't listen to me then - You're not listening to me now!" she throws her hands up, as you wipe your face of the rain and go towards the door. You scoff at her, still shaking your head. "You have no idea what our separation did to me, Shay. No idea." She whimpers, sitting down again with a small plop. You burst out laughing again, and she looks up surprised.

"Yeah, I heard the song. Very classy, Norah. Very fucking classy." You scold her, your eyes finally flashing with pain. She shook her head sadly. "Or what? You're gonna tell me that the label forced you to write that song too? Held you with a gun? Oh, please, Norah. You needed fame. You needed news. Well, you got it, didn't you? At the expense of our relationship, of my life practically and everything that came with it. Well, fuck you, Norah, but at least I got Mitchie out of this bullshit." You remind her - and yourself - as you gesture with your hands up and down her body.

"Yeah, and I'm glad you did, Shane." Her voice cracks again, as more tears fall. "She makes you happy; I can see that. Besides apparently when you talk to me, you are less angry and have less hatred in your heart. Mitchie is a great person, but Shane you have to realize _so am I. _I never wanted you hurt. I tried contacting you for months. I tried doing everything. Do you know how I felt to have heard that you slept with another girl a week or so after you went to Camp Rock? What you did - bragging over the phone about sleeping with Mitchie back in July - was unacceptable!" she screams back, and you scoff again.

Honestly, you had forgotten why you got with Mitchie in the first place because now it doesn't exactly matter. "Whatever, Norah. Again, I repeat, fuck you." You say, breathing out. You glare at her one more time, before turning on your heels. You walk towards the bunks at the end - wanting so badly to just sleep and forget. You jump when you hear a voice.

"You only slept with me to make Norah jealous." The voice says numbly, and you snap your eyes towards the first bed. The girl you are in love with stares back at you, her eyes distant and her head pressed up against the wall as she sits up on your bed. By the looks of things, she had been in that position for a while instead of sleeping like you thought she was.

"Mitchie." You whisper, your face dropping.

Suddenly the door slamming in the background indicting Norah's departure sounds so loud.

"Yeah. Hey." She says, clearing her throat. She offers you a small smile, and you realize how amazing she actually is. You bite your lip and move forward, putting your arm on her side as you kiss her forehead. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" she asks timidly, but you can hear the hurt behind it. You close your eyes and breathe out slowly.

"Because it didn't matter. Maybe the beginning of our relationship wasn't for the right reasons, but it doesn't matter anyways. What matters is that I love you and I appreciate you. I was a jerk back then, Mitch. I shouldn't have slept with you, but I did and I would never take it back." You tell her, brushing her hair out of her eyes. She nods, but you still see the faraway look in her eyes. You sigh and put your hands on her thighs, before leaning in for a kiss. "I love you." You repeat, before pulling her in for an embrace.

XXX - _Mitchie_

"So, how close were Shane and Norah?" you ask trying to be nonchalant as you watch Nate string his guitar. Ever since that text, Nate has been trying to talk to you and Shane, but usually your boyfriend just waves him off and the text has remained a mystery. Unless, of course, Nate has sent other texts, in which case, you are still screwed.

Today, however, instead of avoiding him like the plague like you usually do, you go to the main bus he is in when there is a pit stop. He looks up at you, eyebrows lower and eyes scrunched. "What?" he asks, temporarily confused at you sudden appearance. You slowly repeat your question, and he looks down to his guitar again. "Close." He responds, going back to his work. You wait for him to at least say another word, and when he doesn't, you scoff pointedly. He looks up again, raising an eyebrow. "Are you worried or something?" he asks, his voice sharp. "Have you been left wondering what's going on or something? Hmm?" he says, glaring at you.

You freeze. "Nate let it go. What happens between me and Shane happens between us." You remind him, your voice going slightly high. He scoffs angrily and stands up, glaring at you.

"Well, then Mitchie, let it go. What happened between Norah and Shane happened between them." He mocks you, attacking you. He takes his guitar and pushes past you, not even giving you another glance. You click your tongue angrily, watching him as he goes to the front of the bus without a word. You breathe out slowly, wrapping your arms around your body as you stand up and exit the bus again. You see Shane's bus is still being filled with gas so you walk aimlessly towards the small store.

Going straight to the chocolate bars, you take about ten of them, all while glaring at everyone. "Period pains?" you jump and face the person, before looking down quickly. You bit the inside of your cheek, before grabbing a pack of gum as well.

"Oh, please, Norah. I heard you and Shane earlier. I know you know. Don't play innocent." You snap at her, your voice wavering slightly. You slam all the stuff down on the counter, before fishing for money inside your pockets. She sighs, grabbing your arm. You freeze, turning back to her. You halfway expected the usual sugary sweet smile and the harsh insult and threat that you see in the movies, but instead she gives you a sad smile with tender eyes.

"I know what it's like to be the only girl on tour. If you ever want to talk, you can come by my bus. I don't mind." She tells you gently before letting go of you. She swiftly pulled out a ten dollar bill and sets it on the table for the clerk. "I'm not the villain here, Mitchie." She reminds you, before going out the door. You watch as her hair goes crazy in the wind and rain, before facing the man again.

He hands you back a couple dollars, but you stop him. "Keep the change." You mumble, before taking the bag of candy. Back outside in the rain, you quickly sprint back to Shane's bus, stopping at the door. Even though you are getting drenched, you cannot make yourself go inside. Shane won't tell you everything. That part of his past is done, and he feels like he doesn't have to relive it ever again. But you are too curious. Stepping in under the protection of the roof, you take out your phone and text Shane. _"Going in another bus. Don't worry about me."_ It reads, before you abruptly turn it off.

Nate and Jason's bus is about to leave and Norah is just getting on hers. You quickly make up your mind and sprint towards the latter bus. "Norah?" you call out just as she is going up. She looks back surprised, but holds open the door for you to get in. You are panting somewhat when you get in, wringing out your hair.

"Here." She says, passing you a towel off her couch. You shiver and accept it gratefully, before wrapping it around you. The two of you stay silent for a while, before she suddenly grabs something behind you. She holds up a DVD video. "Movie?" she offers, and you nod, biting your lip again. Taking a chocolate bar from your bag, you hand it to her and she smiles at you. "Come on." She tells you, grabbing your hand gingerly and leading you to the back.

She hands you a sweatshirt to wear and you thank her silently, before slipping it on. You sit with her on her bed awkwardly, while she sets up the movie. No words are said between the two of you - not even when she lies down next to you. Halfway through the movie, you turn to her. She really could not be more perfect. Not only is she beautiful, but she is also unnecessarily kind. Is she a threat? You don't know. All you know is that she hurt Shane and made him sad. And that's when it hit you.

She hurt Shane.

Forget that the fact she is your boyfriend's ex, she hurt him. She made his reputation into a bad one. She made him lose his mind. She made him sleep with a random girl to forget her. She made him lose hope in women and in love. She made him into a callous jerk. She made him into Shane Grey - the Celebrity. And you are sitting with her, trying to play nice because she is the only girl here and because you think she might be genuine? She's not genuine. Shane's right - she is a bitch and you do not care whether or not she loved Shane or their history. You care about him.

You care that she hurt him. And you won't let anyone hurt Shane.

You wish you could get off this bus immediately, but it is already rolling and won't be stopping for miles and miles. You don't know what possessed you to come to this bus. You should have just talked to Shane about how you felt instead of ignoring him or going to his stupid little brother. And now you realize further, you don't care about Norah. You don't care if she loved Shane or if she still does. You don't care that she beautiful or that she is so talented. You don't care about her at all, because you know Shane will never be attracted to her again. He loves you - and you will never doubt that again.

It took a fight between two exes for you to realize that.

When the movies done, she looks at you wordlessly. You shrug out of her sweatshirt and give it back to her, before reaching for your phone. "Do you want something to eat?" she asks, and you give her a fake smile and a nod. She grins back as she turns the TV back to cable before leaving the room just as the home screen comes back on. All it said is: _One Text Message_, and all it reads is, _"Why?"_

Sighing, you glance back to where Norah is before calling Shane. When he picks up on the second ring, you hear the exasperation in his voice. "Why did you leave?" he immediately asks, not angry but not exactly sympathetic. You sigh before telling the truth. He deserves that much.

"Didn't want to talk."

"Very mature, Mitchie." He snaps at you, before sighing. "Okay." He concedes, and you realize he regrets being snide to you. "Where are you? Which bus?" he asks, and you freeze. You don't want to tell him. You know he would freak if you told him you were with Norah - not that you want to admit it anyways.

"Wh-why?" you stutter, before clearing your throat. "It doesn't matter. I'm having girl time, Shane." You tell him, swallowing again before looking down. He sighs.

"Fine, but I'm worried about you Mitch. Don't do that to me. You know how likely it is to have some random little tween come and kidnap you and torture you with Alexis Texas music? Very." He says, his voice getting ridiculously high. You suppress a giggle, as you glance back to the TV screen. You watch as two girls - best friends presumably - hug and your heart drops. "Or - or what if some girl broke into my bus, and wanted to see if I really was pure or not? I could have been raped, Mitchie and then tortured with Alexis Texas music!" he continues his rant, as you try to ignore the feelings creeping up at you.

You quickly turn off the TV. "Well, I wouldn't want you getting raped by a twelve year old." You agree with him, clearing your throat. "Any way I can get back on our bus?" you ask, and he sighs.

"Of course." He says, his voice proclaiming that he is rolling his eyes. "I'm Shane Grey, remember? One look at me, and they just think of all the tantrums I threw and stop in the middle of the highway." He tells you, and you don't doubt him. Laughing softly, you shake your head. "Either that or you can wait ten minutes, since that's when we get to the venue." He says, yawning. You sit up alerted before looking at the time.

"Damn. I thought it was like one in the afternoon. Okay, I'll see you then, baby. I'm gonna have to jump back to the bus to change." You say, scrunching up your nose when you remembered your promise to him that you would go to the concert tonight. "I'm not gonna get jumped by a group of girls, am I?" you whine, closing your eyes. He laughs again. "I hate you." You groan before sighing. "See you." You whisper as you notice Norah coming back. You close the phone and give her a small smile that doesn't reach your eyes as she jumps on the bed. She puts a plate filled with grilled cheese triangles, offering you the first one.

You take one before turning to her. "How did you know?" you ask, and you looks up at you surprised. It takes her a second to understand, but eventually she gets it. She shrugs, biting her lip.

"Shane's so…protective of you. The rumors going around don't exactly help either. Plus…I don't know - little things. The way Shane holds you. The way you hold yourself. And don't take this the wrong way, because you are super skinny and very pretty, but you are starting to gain a few pounds." She says, her voice very apologetic. She doesn't want to hurt you - not that you are. You know you are starting to show somewhat, not enough for anyone to ask, but enough if someone is looking for it. You eat wordlessly, instead of answering her. "I think he will be a great dad." She whispers suddenly. You look up surprised, but she isn't looking at you. "It seems like he has such a bad father, he would want to do everything in his power to be different. Plus, he loves you, and I' pretty sure he loves the baby just as much. Shane is like that. He pretends he doesn't care, but in reality he cares more than any of us."

XXX

From the sidelines, he looks like a king on his throne. You haven't seen him much at this tour, but you are wonder each time you do why he complains to you about performing. He loves it and he knows how to work it. Then again, it could be that you are watching him that gets him pumped and able to work more efficiently and happily. He keeps throwing smirks and discreet little waves at you as he sings. You watch as his toned body is on display for everyone to see, making you roll your eyes as he intentionally makes his muscles pop out even more.

And then there's that feeling again - you are completely turned on by him.

You love the way his hair falls in front of his eyes. You love the way his shirt hugs his body, outlining everything. You love the way he commands the crowd. It makes you absolutely fucking crazy, but you love it. The second it's over and right before the encore, he gets off stage and goes immediately to you. You go to hug him, but he instead, pulls you to him. His lips instantly go on yours and he kisses you with passion that hasn't been present for a while. His heart is beating so fast as he smashes your bodies together. You don't cannot even breathe or think as his hands wrap around your waist tightly with crowd chanting his last name in the background.

And the suddenly, he's gone with a smirk and a wink. You try to breathe after such a mind-blowing kiss, completely missing Nate's disapproving shake of his head. You are left panting with eyes closed, leaning against the wall as they play their last song. When they are done and they run off stage and the lights go back on, Shane goes back to you with a smile and steals you away. You roll your eyes at his hyper-ness, but follow him to his dressing room in the back with interlaced hands. As soon as he closes the door behind you, his lips go right back on yours.

Moaning softly, you press your body into him, as his hands squeeze your hips lightly. Instead of deepening the kiss like you imagined he would, he separates from you and gives you two brief kisses. "So, how'd we do?" he asks, a wide smile on his face. You laugh again, forgetting all your problems, and run your hands up his sweaty sides. You beam at him as he steps in closer and kisses your forehead, before taking your hand again. "Okay, back to the bus we go." He sings, his voice high-pitched again. "I'm so tired." He groans, rubbing his neck with his free hand. You bite your lip, furrowing your eyebrows.

"Too tired to continue…" you trail off, stepping forward to kiss him on his neck before blowing on his ear. He shivers slightly and tenses when you run your hands up his body again. "this?" you add, biting your lip before meeting his eyes. Surprisingly, there is confusion and storminess behind his bright smile. He pulls you away from him gently.

"You really think we should be…" he doesn't finish, opting to look down instead. When he looks up, he kisses your forehead with an obviously fake smile. "Come on. We'll talk later." He says, grabbing your hand and leading you back out the door. You follow him bewildered, as a mixture of rejection and confusion go through you. You two walk in silence until you see Nate and Jason.

"Where have you two been? We have to go." Jason says, his eyes widening. "You know how they get." He reminds you, referring to the girls waiting to attack them. Suddenly, the group is running back to the buses. You ignore the flashes and the screams and follow them. The ride to the hotel is awkward to say the least - with you still trying to figure out why Shane was so cold and trying to avoid Nate. "What's with you guys?" Jason asks after a while, his older brother vibe coming out full force.

Silence follows.

As soon as you start getting off the bus, Nate stops Shane. "Can we talk later?" he asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Shane gives him a strange look, before nodding. "Yeah. Whatever. Me and Mitchie need to talk first, but come around twelve. We'll be done by then." He says, and you can tell he has given up trying to hide the pregnancy from Nate. It infuriates you even more, and you roll your eyes. Instead of waiting for Shane, you grab the key out of Jason's hand and trudge up to your room by yourself as fast as you can. "Whoa! Where are you going?" you hear Shane call after you. You barely see him throw the second key to Nate, telling him to just come in before you turn the corner.

You quickly flee to the elevators with Shane hot on your heels, but he gets there just as the doors are closing. When you get to your floor, you dash to the hotel room, hearing him race up the stairs. You barely open the door, when you feel his fingers curl around your arm, forcing you to turn to him. "What the hell was that?" he says, his nostrils flaring.

You put a hand on the door to stop it from closing and the other on your hip as you glare at him. "Why won't you have sex with me?" you ask him bluntly, raising your eyebrows. He scoffs, suddenly not able to keep eye contact with you. You breathe out harshly, before rolling your eyes and going inside the room.

"Why won't you talk to me about Sierra?" he snaps back, following you in. your heart skips a beat at her name, and you turn to glare at him.

"One problem at a time please." You say, your hands still on your hips. "I mean…I know I have gained a few pounds and all, but…" you feel tears randomly start to come on, and you curse your moodiness. You watch him as he sighs and shakes his head at you. You knit your eyebrows together as you watch him purse his lips.

"Mitchie." He whispers with a hint of anger. "You look beautiful, so stop with that." He says, crossing his arms. "Maybe I don't want to have sex for a difference reason." He throws his hands up, before stepping back. "N-not that I don't want to have sex with you. I do. I'm just…tired." He stutters, his cheeks turning a light pink. Your eyes widen as hurt travels inside of you. Shaking your head and telling yourself not to cry, you push past him and go to the bathroom. He sighs again as you turn around to face him.

"Sure, you are." You mutter under your breath, your eyes sharp. "Or maybe, you finally remembered today that I wasn't supposed to mean anything and the whole point of getting with me was just to piss the girl you loved - aka Norah - off."

You watch him freeze, his eyes darkening. He doesn't say anything, but he walks up to you until you are pinned against the bathroom door. "Or maybe," he starts, his voice cold. "I don't want to hurt during you sex because I'm afraid that you will have another miscarriage." He breathes out harshly, his eyes still sharp.

You tense. "Oh." You whisper. He steps away from you, shaking his head, before starting to take off his clothes for bed you presume. "W-well, I didn't know that." You stutter, stepping towards him. He ignores you for the most part, until you wrap your arms around him. "Plus, you won't hurt me." You whisper softly, but he still doesn't look at you. "Unless you plan on truly fucking me hardcore… Shane, I think we will be alright." You tell him. He still doesn't respond to you, making you close your eyes exasperatedly. You pull him tighter to you, before pressing your lips to his collarbone. "I think we will be fine." You repeat, your breath tickling his skin.

He breathes in sharply, as you continue to kiss his neck. Suddenly, he presses his lips against your hair, as you bite his earlobe. "I just don't…I'm scared…it's happen before." He sputters out, as you start to run your hands up and down his side slowly and sensually. "Mitchie." He moans, as you bite into his skin, before sucking softly.

"Just calm down, Shane." You whisper, pulling away from him. He falls forward a bit, and you see he is a little dazed. You grin at him, as he tries to clear his mind and regain focus. With a surge of confidence, you push him towards the bed, making him back up until his knees hit the bedpost. He gasps when he goes backwards, his eyes wide and glue to your face. Putting your hands on his shoulders, you straddle him, before kissing him on his lips. You immediately try to deepen it, but he stays tentative. Rolling your eyes again, you dig your hands into his hair, before grinding your hips into his.

"Mitchie!" he cries out, surprised. Smiling slyly, you kiss his neck again, as his hands finally grab your hips. Trailing kisses up until you reach his lips again, you try to give him everything you possibly can in that one kiss. When you separate for air, his eyes are dazed over again. "Mitchie." He breathes out this time. Brushing back your hair, you swiftly reach for the bottom of your shirt before pulling it off you and then quickly undoing your bra. His eyes leave your face and slowly trail down your body, as you push your hands up his shirt.

He looks at you suddenly, his eyes searching yours until he finally raises his arms up so you can slide the fabric off his body. He breathes out slightly, as you put your hands on his face and move in closer. "You're not gonna hurt me, Shane. We are different people than we were back in July." You remind him almost inaudibly, before kissing him again. He nods before taking you in his arms, as he lets you fall gently on top of him as he lies down. Your bare chests press up against each other, as you circle your hands around his neck.

His warm palm cups your breast, before going down your stomach to your jeans. He skillfully unbuttons it, before lightly flicking your underwear. You moan softly, as you put your own hand on his abs. Suddenly he dips his fingers inside of you, making you gasp loudly as he plays with your clitoris. Gently, he flips you over, but his hand never leaves your sex. You tilt your head back on the pillow, as he slips in another finger. He kisses your neck, his body half on you, half not. You know he is worried about putting all his weight on you, but you still find it ridiculous. It's almost like he thinks the lightest pressure will kill you.

But his hands are too skilled, too knowing for you to dwell too much on it. Your head starts clouding over, as he continues to pump his fingers inside of you. You feel your underwear and jeans start to get soaked as he starts to knead your breast with his free hand. "Shane." You keep repeating over and over.

And then something happens.

You barely even realize it, as you can barely see straight. You arch your body up, your nipples hard in the cold air, as Shane continues to kiss your neck - also completely out of it. But through the heavy lid of your dizzy eyes, you see the wide and completely scandalized eyes of a young sixteen year old curly haired rockstar.

Oh right. Nate was supposed to come. Is it twelve already?

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	34. Chapter 34

"**Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone." Love Story - Taylor Swift **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 34

"Can I tell you a secret?" you ask softly, almost inaudibly. You halfway did not even mean to say it, but for some reason, you cannot stop yourself. Shane looks at you with raised eyebrows, still shaking his wet curly hair from the shower he just took. It has been three days since Nate walked in on you and Shane - and nothing has been the same since. Nate has completely avoided you and every time you two see each other, his cheeks turn a bright red. The talk Shane and Nate should have had was put aside; instead, it was replaced with a lot of yelling and hysteria as you and Shane tried to cover up.

Nate still does not know that you are pregnant, and really, you are quite glad. You know in your heart that Nate would tell Mrs. Grey. You would not blame him - he would just be looking out for you - but still. First, you could never face him again, besides the fact you cannot even look at him without feeling bouts of humiliation. Second, you are pretty sure Mrs. Grey would send you home and that's the last thing you want. "Sure, honey." Shane sounds exhausted when he speaks to you and soon he lets out a yawn. He stretches his arms up in the air, highlighting his muscles.

You bite your lip as he sits down on the bed and reaches for your hand absentmindedly. Closing your eyes, you relish in the way his hand feels against yours as your fingers intertwine. "I'm scared." You choke out, suddenly ashamed. Looking away from his eyes, you pull your knees up to your chest. "I'm such a cliché. Just another unwed sixteen year old who is pregnant and I don't know what to do." When you speak, your voice is soft. It isn't whiny or depressed. It's just accepting and totally terrified. Shane sighs before coming closer to you and pulling you to him.

He wraps his arms around you and puts his chin on top of your head. "The difference between you and those girls is that I'm here for you. We have the people to tutor you, so maybe you can go to college in a couple years. I have enough money for the both of us and then some. I can provide you everything, baby; I don't care about the press or the media, but we will eventually have to come out to them and when we do, I won't let anyone harm you. And the biggest difference is that I love you and will always protect you, no matter what. There is nothing to be scared of." He comforts you, placing his lips on the side of your forehead.

You shiver and move in closer to his body. "You're such a sap." You mutter, teasing him lightly before dropping your smile. "Why aren't you as scared as me? It's okay if you are, you know." You remind him and he laughs slightly. His fingers from his free hand push your chin to make you look at him. He nuzzles your nose before kissing you gently on your lips. Giving him a small smile, you lean into his touch as he moves your intertwined hands on top of your small stomach.

"I'm not scared because…" he trails off and his eyes glaze over. After a while, you realize he is fighting over his words by the faces he is making. He sighs finally. "I love you." He says, but he says it so fiercely, that you tense somewhat. "I just… this baby, this child, could…" he sighs again, before setting his shoulders. "Do you know how amazing it is that I will have something that links me to you forever?" Suddenly he is speaking fast. "This child will be ours and no one else's. This will be something we can share together, regardless of how others feel. Plus, Mitch, I feel with all the bullshit we have had in our lives - I have had in mine - that we will finally have some kind of hope. This child will provide us with it. We will have someone who will love us forever." He says, his voice getting softer and softer.

"Shane." You breathe out, not even knowing what to say.

He faces you again. His eyes are so light and you almost see hope already in his eyes. "Mitchie…" he trails off again, before biting his lip. When he talks, he speaks like he is telling a big secret. "I saw this girl hanging on to the end of the stage. She must have been five or younger, but she was all decked out in Connect Three gear and wearing this sparkly hat. I don't know, but something about the way she was smiling up at me - like I made her life - just killed me completely. Here's this little girl just making me smile. I know I have a billion other older girls screaming my name, but this one little blonde girl made me stop." He says, tightening his hold on you. He nuzzles your neck with his curly hair, before kissing it softly.

"Shane." You repeat, but you don't even know what to say.

"I picked her up." He says quickly, before blushing somewhat. "I had to. I just bent down and suddenly my arms were in front of me. I just picked her up, and I carried on stage for about thirty seconds. She held onto me with her small little arms, smiling the brightest smile I have ever seen while resting her little head on my shoulder. I just… I want hope again, Mitchie." His voice suddenly cracks. His eyes - so light and soft - start to fill up with tears and he hugs you again, putting his chin on the top of your head. "You don't know how ba-d I was. That argument with Norah made me realize how messed up I was and how messed up I become when girls leave me. But you're not just some girl anymore, Mitch. You're my girl and I love you. More than that, I want this child. I want it, babe. Hope. I want it." he sounds so pure - so vulnerable - it makes you close your eyes.

"I don't know how to respond to that." You say, your voice thick with tears. You snap open your eyes to watch his breathe out. "I want hope too, Shane." You admit, swallowing harshly. "But I'm still sixteen and I'm just so scared. Not to mention, everyone is against us." You put your hands to your face and push back your hair. Shane frowns and goes forward to kiss your neck again.

"Take my hand tonight. We can run so far. We can change the world to anything you want." He sings softly in your ear, making you shiver. "Baby, you know I love you. We will be okay. I can promise you that much. But you are right, everyone wants us apart. My mom is flexible for now and so is yours but because they know we need each other, but once word gets out about us, then they will try to separate us. We have to do everything in our power to stop it. We have to be there for each other no matter what." He seems like he wants to say more, but he just stares at you with his lips parted.

You put your hand on his cheek before leaning in. "How?" you sniff softly, your hand sliding off. "I mean, how do we stay together through Nate and your mom and my mom and my dad and the fans and the media and this and that?" you don't mean the question as a break up line or anything; you mean it as a legit question. Shane bites his lip before whispering a suggestion. The second you hear it, you feel your face pale. You freeze as your eyes widen, but he never wavers. He is looking at you with complete seriousness, and suddenly you find yourself nodding to his question.

He smiles before he leaves to do some calls.

XXX

Without much thought, you grab as much clothing as you can fit in your little duffle bag as Shane does the same. When you are done, he grabs your hand and suddenly, just like in _Inseparable_, you are running and changing everything. The next day is a day off, but you know everyone will wonder where you went when you do not greet them in time to have breakfast in some crappy diner down the road. You almost get to his car when you hear the screams. Wincing, you turn around to face the little fourteen year old girls that notice Shane. He gives them a tense smile but complies - after all, it's his job.

"My name is Laura and I'm your biggest fan." One says. "Please, sign this." She thrusts out a ready to use notebook. Just a thought, but you have always wondered why some people just have notebooks on them - ready to use in case a famous celebrity comes by just to hold him up when he has very important plans with his girlfriend. You freeze - mother of his unborn child is more like it now.

"I'm Kirsty. I idolize you and I think you are so hot. I mean, talented." She quickly fixes her mistake when she takes a glance at you. Shane gives her a forced smile, but you see him rolling his eyes. He signs her poster she also just happens to have. You briefly wonder if these girls have been waiting this whole night for Shane to walk out.

"And you honey?" Shane asks to the youngest girl there. She looks up surprised, before blushing slightly.

"Sabrina." She whispered softly and completely embarrassed. Shane signs her poster with a smile before handing it to her delicately. "Thank you." Is all she says with a small shy smile. He grins back as the other two start coming closer to him, almost scratching at his clothing. Shane politely pulls back, before rolling his eyes discreetly again. He waves at them before pointedly reaching for your hand. You bite your lip as the two girls burn you with angry eyes, but grab his hand anyways. "Bye." Sabrina whispers, waving at her hero. Shane stops for a second, before reaching in his pocket.

He pulls out a small pick. "Here, honey." He hands it to the little girl and she accepts it in awe. The other two freeze and look at Shane expectedly, but you are already headed to his car again. Remembering the whole reason you left the hotel, you quicken your pace as he swiftly opens your door and waits for you to get in. Shutting the door behind you, he immediately hops in his side and starts the car. It isn't long until you are on the Delaware highway, driving a little too fast and not fast enough.

"That was really nice what you did for that little girl, Shane." You say, and he shrugs. He takes one hand off the wheel and reaches for you again. Intertwining your hands, you kiss the back of his and he smiles again. He is silent for a while, but suddenly he is talking again as he weaves through the empty road.

"She reminded me of that little girl." He explains and you nod. Once again, the car goes silent but you appreciate it. The quiet gives you time to think about what you are about to do, and you quickly come into the conclusion that you do want to do it. He suggested it, but it is almost like you had thought it first. You want this so badly, and you are glad he is giving it to you. You are so glad he wants the same. This is what love is - giving everything to one another. "Are you nervous?" he suddenly asks. You breathe out softly before turning to him.

"No." you say simply and he smiles again.

You internally wonder where he is going and how he knows how to get there in the random place there are currently. "Do you have the results from the blood test they did on you a couple days ago on you?" he suddenly asks. You lower your eyebrows confused but nod. He sighs softly. "Good. I think we will need it." he says but doesn't elaborate. He drives for about half an hour more before stopping at a small little place. It is beautiful and it makes your heart flutter. For a second, you cannot believe this happening, but then Shane grabs you as soon as you get out the car and gives you a hug. He kisses your cheek. "I love you." He repeats.

"I love you too, Shane. Always and forever." You whisper back, your voice getting slightly chocked up. He grabs your hand and you two walk slowly inside the building where you are met with the man Shane called earlier. "Hello." You whisper nervously. The man's eyes widen and he looks you up and down.

"How old are you?" he barks, but doesn't let you answer. "No, no! Unless you have signed consent forms from the Clerk of the Peace, I'm not doing this." He says pointedly, crossing his arms. Both you and Shane's face fall. You close your eyes, feeling the sting of tears coming on. "Why do you two want to do this anyways?" the man asks softer this time. He is shaking his head at you two. When you open your mouth to talk, Shane is already there.

"Because we love each other. Because I cannot live without her. Because she's my future." He looks at you, biting his lip while his eyes moist up. "Because we're gonna have a family. Because I owe this to her. Because I want it so bad, and so does she." He says further, before swallowing and turning back to the man. He opens his eyes - shocked you presume - and suddenly, he looks sad.

"You're pregnant?" he asks you, still shaking his head. "Oh the tragedy of the youth of today." He mutters with a hint of regret. "Come on. You're lucky Delaware makes exceptions for pregnant teens." He sighs before waving you to follow him. Your heart automatically lifts and Shane relaxes a little. He squeezes your hand before walking to where the man went. "You have proof of the pregnancy? Do you have birth certificates? Blood tests?" the man asks suddenly stopping and turning to you. Strangely enough because you are always on the road, you have all your papers on you. So does Shane. Luck is on your side tonight.

You swiftly hand over your things and the man sighs again, before once again waving you to follow him. You step into a small room - decorated with pretty pink flowers and white statuettes - before being handed a bunch of forms and paper. The two of you sit down at a table there and fill out everything, before finishing about an hour after you arrived. When you hand the papers and forms to the man, he gives you both a critical look. "Are you two sure you want to do this? Technically, the only reason parental consent has been waived is because of her pregnancy, but that doesn't mean you are not still kids. You should sit and talk about this a little more. Maybe do this in a couple years." He says. When neither of you say anything, he throws his hands up. "Can't say I didn't try..." he mutters under his breath. "Come with me. Wait for the minister here." He says when you arrive in a small room.

The two of you take a seat again and Shane pulls you close to him. That's when the nerves start to hit you. In the background, you see a picture of a family - a mom, a dad, and there two boys. "Shane…" you start, but you are cut off by another man coming in the room. He looks apologetic as he waves a paper in his hand.

"Sir, you didn't sign a prenuptial agreement." He says. Shane freezes for a second and you hold your breath; suddenly, Shane is shaking his head.

"Don't need to." He says simply and the man shrugs and leaves. Shane sighs and tightens his hold on you. "What were you going to say?" he asks, changing the subject. You bite your lip as a million thoughts come to your head. What the fuck are you doing? You are sixteen. You haven't finished high school. Your mother doesn't know. On the other side, you're pregnant. He loves you. You love him. You groan and bury your head in his shoulder. "What's wrong?" he asks as he rubs your arm soothingly.

"Your mother would want to be here for this. So would mine. Not to mention Nate and Jason and Austin. We… I don't know if we can do this." Suddenly, your nerves are on fire. You are starting to get scared. You see his face drop and his eyes sharpen. "It's not -" you hiccup. You breathe out - trying to calm yourself. "It's not you, babe. I love you. I'm so young. You're so young. Plus, my mother would kill us - not to mention, probably get it annulled. The media will go crazy. Your mother and your brothers would hate not only you but also me for taking this moment away from them. Think about it Shane." You try to make him understand.

He shakes his head, his eyes tearing up. "Don't do this Mitchie. Just go with it. We'll be fine." He was pleading now with a shaking voice and sad eyes. "Please. Please. I'm begging you. Don't back out now." He says so quickly, it makes your stomach turn. You move forward and put your hand on his cheek. He leans into it sadly. "Please." He breathes out. "Don't back out." He repeats. Just then the minister comes in, startling the both of you. Shane looks at him swiftly before turning back to you. You can read all his emotions clearly - he wants you to do this so bad.

And then you blurt it out. "Will you marry me?" you say as your heart beats loudly in your chest.

He lowers his eyebrows confused, as a tear starts to fall from his eyes. "Honey - that's what I'm trying to do. I want to so badly, Mitchie. Please." He begs again brushing you off. You shake your head.

"He was right, Shane. We are so young and I don't know how to be a wife. I don't even know how to be a mom and I have to be one. But Shane, in a year and a half, on my eighteen birthday if you want, I will marry you - that is if you say yes. So, Shane will you marry me?" you say pronouncing every word clearly and slowly. Shane blinks and takes a step back, and you can immediately see that he is thinking about this. You know he wants to elope now, and for a while, so did you. But that wouldn't be fair to anyone, especially you. "It's not like I want a huge hall with three hundred people or seventeen magazines down our throats. But I want strawberry colored roses and a pretty white dress and a ring - not a big one mind you - but a ring nonetheless. We have screwed up everything else, but I don't want to screw up that. So, I'll ask for the final time - Shane will you marry me?" you say as the minister stays looking at the scene unfolding.

Shane swallows and looks at the minister before shaking his head at him. The older man smiles and closes the Bible he was going to read out of before excusing himself from the room. Shane turns back to you before sighing. He smiles sadly before closing his eyes and letting a single tear fall down his cheek. You go forward again and wipe it away, but do not do much else. When he snaps open his eyes, he looks a little calmer. "Maybe it would be better." He says softly, his voice hardly above a whisper. "If we go in this too quickly, we won't appreciate the beauty of what we are trying to accomplish. I love you, Mitchie Torres, and I promise you I will marry you when the time comes." He whispers before stepping close to you. He wraps his arms around you, making you smile again. "But I get to choose the music and the band. I won't have Alexis Texas ruining our wedding." He mutters in your ear before rubbing your noses together gently.

Then, suddenly, he is pulling you in for a kiss.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	35. Chapter 35

"**Why don't we hit restart, and pause it at our favorite parts. We'll skip the goodbyes." Matchbook Romance - Tiger Lily **

**AN - Long chapter. Very Long Chapter!**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 35

Two weeks later in late December the tour ends on a Monday, but that's okay with you because you know you are starting to show and it is probably not the best idea to be prancing around when you are almost four months pregnant. You are still small and tiny, but people are catching on in the media. Ms. Grey and Nate are still in the dark, but that's purely by miracle. What doesn't sit right with you is that your mother wants you home on Saturday for Christmas because she is fed up of the excuses you give her to try and stay another week with your lover. But Friday? Dear ol' Christmas Eve is when you got the _news_ that changed everyone's life for the worst.

You never realize just how much can happen in six days.

--_Monday--_

"I can't believe the tour ended yesterday. I can't believe it's five days to Christmas already." Shane sighs, twirling your hair in his fingers as the bus rounds off at Hollywood Records Headquarters' parking garage. "I don't know whether to be relieved or feel awful." He continues, putting his chin on top of your head. You nod mindlessly, feeling all kinds of tired. "I don't want you to go though." He says suddenly, squeezing your waist softly. "I'll miss you." Shane breathes out before putting his hand on your growing tummy. "And you." He adds playfully, kissing the side of your neck. You smile at him and nod again.

When the bus stops, the both of you grudgingly get off, with aching backs and tired minds. Everyone is so exhausted; the consent awkwardness of the group is forgotten, and instead everyone is thinking about their own bed in their own room in their own house. The hotel life is hard after a while and you have almost forgotten what it means to sleep in a comfy, familiar bed without a weird painting near you. You wait for a while as the Connect Three manager and staff unload and talk. No one bothers you and you bother no one.

Once Shane's huge Mercedes is in view again, the smile on his face grows as does Nate's when his pretty little Mustang is brought out. For a second, you don't know whether to just brave the awkwardness with Nate just so you can ride in his car opposed to your boyfriend's - fiancé's - monster car. Shane decides for you when he intertwines your hands and pulls you to his monster, opening the door for you politely but waiting impatiently for you to enter. He rolls his eyes when you deliberately take your time climbing in and you gasp when his hand makes contact with your bottom. He throws an innocent smile your way before it morphs into a smirk as soon as you pout at him and sit down in the passenger seat.

"I can't believe we're going home." He almost squeals. You laugh at his eagerness as he takes off quickly, completely ignoring his brothers. You shiver at the blast of cold air from the a.c. and look at the passing ocean waves with a mixture of complete exhaustion and a hint of excitement. It does not take long before you are stopping, but this time instead of a huge apartment complex, you are stopped at a gate. Shane rolls down his window and you finally notice the security guard. "Hey, man. Let me in, will you?" he calls out, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. The man obliges, opening the gate and welcoming you into the huge community that is Toluca Lake.

It takes a couple turns until you are at the main house of the Grey family, but the second you see it, your eyes widen. Beyond beautiful, it is really nothing like you imagined. Then again, what of Shane's isn't? He turns off the car before quickly climbing out and helping you off the ledge of the tall car. He intertwines your fingers again and gives you a quick smile, before pulling you up the stairs. The foyer is large and spacious with amazing paintings and high walls. It looks like a castle, but Shane hardly gives you time to appreciate it.

The next thing you know you are in his bedroom or what you assume is his bedroom with the amount of clothes _not _thrown on the floor. Everything is so neat and tidy, with several guitars hanging from the wall and random pictures everywhere. "Wow." You breathe out but he ignores you, opting instead to flop onto his oversized bed. He moans softly as he wraps himself in his covers before smelling his sheets. You laugh at him before joining him gingerly on the bed. He looks up at you with a big smile and wraps his arm around you. "So, I wrote the chorus of a song last night." He whispers while biting his lip. You smile at him.

"You remember when you played _Secret Valentine_? That was a beautiful song. Are you going to record it?" you ask and he shakes his head at you. "Okay. I think it's too personal anyways." You counter and he gives you a look saying he agrees with you. "What's the name of the new song?" you ask, crossing your legs Indian style on the bed.

"I don't know yet. Probably _Black Keys_." He responds, standing up and grabbing a guitar from his wall. He comes back and sits with you before strumming his fingers softly. "And the black keys never looked so beautiful and a perfect rainbow never seemed so dull. And the lights out never had this bright a glow. And the black keys showing me a world I never knew, no a world I never knew." He sings gently, pretty unsure of himself. "Don't let 'em get inside of your head." He randomly sings the line he sang to you a while back. Suddenly, he's groaning and throwing the guitar dramatically. "Ugh. I'm never gonna get this." He says exasperatedly before lying down and putting his hand over his face.

You roll your eyes and put your hand on his stomach. "Don't stress yourself, Shane. It will be perfect. From what I heard so far, it's beautiful." You encourage him as you softly slide your body next to him. He gives you a small grin before turning on his side and hugging you.

"You're so nice. I'm keeping you." He teases you, lightly nipping at your ear. You laugh and slightly moan as he blows on a sensitive spot on your neck. "Mmm, and taste so good." He continues, his tongue darting out and flicking your skin before he starts sucking sensually. You moan this time, tangling your hand awkwardly in his hair. Suddenly, he is kissing you everywhere on your neck and face before finally kissing your lips. He is still very careful as he puts himself half on top of you with a protective hand on your stomach.

And then - "Shane! You here?" comes a woman's voice from downstairs. You both groan before laughing and shaking your heads.

"Coming, Mom." He calls out as he helps you to your feet. He fixes your shirt so no baby bump is showing before leading you to the kitchen. You look at the intricate design of the counter with awe as Ms. Grey puts down some bags on it. "Hey. What's up, Mother?" he asks sounding even more exhausted. You have to hide your snicker at his over acting and how real it sounds.

She puts a sympathetic smile on. "Oh, honey. Are you tired?" she asks, putting a hand on his cheek. "Go to bed." She tells him, tilting her head back up the stairs. Shane smiles weakly at her, giving you a sly wink, and pulling you up the stairs. "Mitchie can stay though." Ms. Grey suddenly calls out making you both freeze. Shane looks back at his mother. "I mean, you're going to sleep right? No need for Mitchie. She can, however, help me make dinner?" she asks with a warm smile. You awkwardly give Shane an apologetic smile and nod at her. He groans softly before trudging back upstairs.

And suddenly, you remember you have been trying to avoid staying by yourself with her. You subconsciously wrap your arms across your lower body and walk quickly to the counter. "How can I help?" you ask softly. Ms. Grey blows out exasperatedly and shrugs, before chuckling.

"I have no idea what to make." She laughs with a small hint of pink of her face.

You smile at her. "Well how about Penne ala Vodka or Shrimp Curry?" you suggest, looking in her refrigerator and finding all the necessary components for either. She gives you a confused look and you grin at him shyly. "My mother is a chef - a caterer. I've learned some things." You explain, shrugging modestly. Ms. Grey raises her eyebrow before nodding appreciatively.

"Just tell me what to do, sweetie." She says with a grin and you nod at her timidly. "You're already better than the last one." She whispers cheerfully. "Norah couldn't cook anything." She says clapping her hands.

--_Tuesday--_

"Hey, Mitchie. Wake up." Shane shakes you awake. You look up at him with tired eyes and moan, before turning over. You try to fall back to sleep but he laughs and starts kissing you. You breathe out against his lips and eventually open your eyes. "Hello, sleeping beauty." He teases, lying down next to you. After dinner yesterday, Ms. Grey very innocently showed you where the guest room was, which incidentally happened to be right across from her room. Shane and you - although reminiscent of when you used to sneak out of your mother's and then Caitlyn's and Tess's cabin - decided not to risk it.

"I'm so tired still, Shane." You say hoarsely as you make a face at him. He laughs again, before turning the clock towards you. You snap up with wide eyes as you look at the red numbers. _2:23_ it reads. You slept the entire morning and half the afternoon away already. "Wow." You whisper as Shane kisses your shoulder.

"Mhmm, kinda late, isn't it?" he mocks you pointedly and you push his face away from you, still groaning. He chuckles before leaning down and kissing you again. "Go take a shower." He nudges you and suddenly getting off you. He throws you another breathtaking smile. "I'll see you later." He sings as he leaves the room. You roll your eyes, but eventually get yourself out of bed. In the shower, you make sure to make the water extremely hot in order to get rid of all your tense muscles, and then slip on a nice cool summer dress you could only wear in California during the winter season.

When you go back to the room, shaking your wet hair out the whole way down the hall, you notice a small letter on the bed. Curiously, you pick it up, noticing your name written in Shane's scrawny handwriting. Shaking your head, your open the card slowly and your heart starts beating nervously. How awful it must have been for Shane when he saw the horrible letter you left him in the hotel so many moons ago. The letter you wrote him in the diner not three months ago would have been even worst. As you pull out the letter, you cannot help but be nervous that he isn't doing the same to you.

_M,_

_Hey, sleepy head. If you got this, then you got outta of the shower. As you have probably noticed, I'm not in the house anymore. If not, you suck - you should know when I'm not around with like…I don't know, an automatic sensor in you telling you I'm no longer near you. Wow - I'm rambling. (: anyways, I just want you to know, that I love you and that you deserve this. Unfortunately, I cannot be with you today. I got called down somewhere to do some bullshit - you know how it is. But I'll be with you in spirit. I'm not usually one for romantic gestures, but I figured what the hell. _

_Go to the address on the small card that's probably still in the envelope and tell them that I sent you there. Have fun. I love you, once again._

_-S_

Raising your eyebrow, you pull out the tiny piece of paper and look at the address. There, written besides it, are the words, _By the way, Jason is your personal driver today._ You blink at the card before swallowing. You hardly have ever spoken to Jay, although he is the one brother besides Shane to know about the pregnancy. Walking out of the room, you look up to see the oldest Grey is already there. You blush. "You know you don't have to follow Shane's orders. He's a jerk." You say, biting your lip. Jason laughs before shrugging his shoulders.

"Maybe I just want to spend time with my future niece or nephew's mama." He says and you freeze with wide eyes. He smiles apologetically. "Relax. No one is home." He says, before stepping forward and holding out his arm. "Come, milady before Shane tries to kill me." He rolls his eyes as you loop your arm in his and leave the house. Unlike his two more ostentatious brothers, his car is a small hybrid that runs well, and also unlike them, his personality isn't as dramatic nor as serious but rather light and happy. "So, I think you look very pretty. Where did you get that dress?" he asks when you get in the car.

You look down and shrug. "I'm not sure. Shane bought it." you admit embarrassingly. He laughs.

"Probably Barney's. They have the best selection of shoes. They have this one pair that I have wanted to get for months, but every time I go into the store, the paparazzi block my way. It sucks, but whatever. Although I guess I could get them online, but I don't know, I just like handling my shoes before wearing them." He talks a mile a minute, before taking out his iPhone. "Look, they are my screensaver." He says, and you stifle a laugh. The poor guy is not gay, but it almost seems like that is the problem. You look at the shoes and memorize their appearance so you can get them for Christmas. At least that's one brother down.

"So, where's this place you're taking me?" you ask, sighing somewhat. Jay turns to you before shrugging apologetically and waving the piece of paper you gave him. "Wow. Shane's an ass." You whisper, but inside you are getting a little excited. You smile. You know this is probably some grand gesture to give you the ring, and you know he is going to make you try on dresses and heels, but it still brings a smile to your face. "But I love him." You whisper lightly.

Jason chuckles. "So boy or girl?" he asks suddenly. "I was thinking if you had a boy, Shane would love it, but if you had a girl he would be ecstatic. When he was younger, when mom had Nate, he screamed at her and told her to return him because he wanted a girl. I don't think he's gonna do the same now, but knowing how immature he can be, who knows. But he would probably love a girl. Then again, he is always surrounded by little girls so that may have gotten old by now. So maybe, he would prefer a guy." Jason says, still talking fast and using his hands like crazy.

You frown. "I don't know actually. I don't even know what I want. Either, I guess, as long as he or she is healthy." You shrug and he nods solemnly. You always forget that he was there that night they drove you to the hospital, but then he was the driver and you were in pain. You were hardly paying attention to anything. "Anyways, any girls in your life?" you ask brightly, changing the subject. Jason smiles widely and gives you a shy glance, before shaking his head.

"A story for another day." He sings before stopping in front of a building. You both look at the place strangely before rechecking the address. "Well… we're here." Jason says awkwardly. Swiftly the two of you go inside and the loud noises coming from all directions make you jump. "Okay - Shane is officially off his rockers." Jason mutters as an old man comes forward.

"Hello. What a lovely couple." He compliments you like only a sale person can. You roll your eyes but don't say anything to contradict him. "Welcome to Christa's Pet Emporium. What can I do for you today?" he asks with a bright smile. Jason gives him a tight lip grin and holds out a piece of paper you hadn't noticed before. The man face falls before picking up again. "Come this way." He tells you, waving you to follow him. You and Jason look at each other before following the man to the back room. You gasp when a snake jumps up at you but try to ignore it. "Here we go." He says, handing you a little box and another card.

Oh Shane.

You grab the box, gasping at it weight and looking at the holes at the top. With another look at Jason, you open it, scared at the way the box is jumping. Immediately your heart swells and you let out a small noise of appreciation. "Oh, a puppy." Jason laughs at your enthusiasm as you pick up the small little creature. Instantly the tiny dog starts jumping and licking you like crazy, and it takes you a while for you to really look at him but when you do, you can only let out a sigh. He is adorable - with those big eyes and furry complexion. Of course, the dog is extremely hyper and happy, panting along like it has no worries in the world. "Shane…" you whisper with a smile on your face.

"Open the letter." Jason says at you. After a few more seconds of bringing the dog up to your face, you finally open the second letter.

_M,_

_Too much? Oh well. This is my present for you. When I'm away and you cannot come to me, I want you to remember this puppy. He is ours, just like our baby. Treasure him, babes, because I think he is the most adorable thing ever. Even more than you, so ha. Anyways, I don't have his name yet but I was thinking BeeKay. - After Black Keys - I am writing that song for you and I think it's appropriate. I love you still._

_Next address, next place._

_-S_

_Ps- yes I know I'm being cliché, but you wanted normalcy. Well, here it is. _

You pull out another small card with an address printed on it. Once again Shane's scratchy handwriting is on it. _This place I guarantee you will love once you let go of the ridiculous notion that I cannot spend money on you. Remember, now you are my fiancée and my child's mommy. So…ha! By the way, after Jay drops you off, tell him he's done with his duties until about seven. Hope you like the puppy but unfortunately BeeKay - or whatever his name you want - has to go with Jay. _You frown at his words, and bring the tiny hyper dog close to you. You kiss his furry little head before tucking him protectively in your arms. Nodding at Jason, the two of you go to the car to go to the next destination.

BeeKay keeps licking you and making you giggle as Jason clears his throat. "You know Shane gets so attached to pets. I remember when we were small, back in New Jersey, we had this turtle. His name was Philip. Don't as me why, because I still to this day don't know why we named him that. But anyways, turtles are illegal in Jersey and when my mother found out, we had to turn him in. Shane was hysterical. And then, there was Cocoa. We had him for years, and when he died two summers ago, Shane got so depressed. For a while, that dog was everything to him, and when he passed away, Shane vowed never to get a pet again. So it's kinda a big deal that he got one for the both of you." Jason muses as he taps his fingers on the wheel.

You bite the inside of your lip. "I didn't know that." You whisper and Jason looks at you before shrugging.

"It's okay." He justifies. "You don't have to know every detail about a person to know you love them. Sometimes, it's better that you don't know everything. Then you can learn something new about the person every day. Adds an air of mystery to a relationship in a good way." He says. The two of you don't say much afterwards, but pretty soon, he is stopping the car again. "So, my job as chauffeur? Quit my day job for it?" he says with a kind smile. You grin back and roll your eyes, before passing him BeeKay and stepping out of the car. You gasp at the building before shaking your head with a laugh.

Jane's Spa Palace.

XXX

After getting massaged, made up, and uplifted, the woman brings you to a back room before pulling out a rack full of dresses. "Mr. Grey told me to tell you to choose any dress you desire." The woman says, making you raise your eyebrow at her. She nods at you and leaves the room, leaving you alone with some of the most beautiful dresses you have ever seen. You look them over, guilty at the fact Shane would go to this much trouble, but actually pretty glad he did. Finally, you chose a beautiful and slightly tight gray and black dress that hangs off your shoulders and shows off your legs.

You look in the mirror the room provides and subconsciously put your hand on your stomach. You wonder if you are showing or if it's just your imagination; either way, you allow yourself to indulge in the random accessories Shane made sure to get before slipping on a great pair of heels you think maybe Jason picked out. Looking in the mirror again, you feel beautiful. It's been a long time since you have felt as pretty and pamper as you have today. Shane has made you feel like a princess - which seems pretty stupid when said out loud, but in reality, it is the best feeling in the world.

People don't appreciate the little things in life anymore, and you are starting to realize you are one of them. For so long, you have put yourself down for things you cannot change, but for what? So, you could end up loveless or worse, dead. Shane loves you for who you are - you don't have to be anyone but yourself and he will love you for it. That, that right there, is the best gift he can give you. Someone to hold you in your worse days. Someone who will kiss you when you are down. Someone who will make love to you to help you forget. Someone who will let you speak, or even better, who will let you just sit without talking when you need it. Shane is the best gift you have ever received and you will never let him go.

Feeling tears in your eyes, you quickly wipe them away before they mess up your made up face; instead, you clear your throat and leave the room. Jason is waiting for you there and you shoot him a shy smile. "Wow, Mitchie." He gives out a low whistle. "Good thing Nate's not here or he would have popped a fit." He says. You raise your eyebrow.

"I don't know whether that's a compliment or an insult, but I'll take it." you say, accepting his hand and allowing him to guide you to his car. "So where are we going?" you ask when you are situated.

Jason clicks his tongue. "No can do, but here." He says as reaches behind him while trying to keep his eyes on the road. "The last letter from Shane." He tells you with a grin. Warm butterflies start tingling your stomach as you take the card form the eldest brother.

_M,_

_I really hope you had a blast at the spa. I know my mother raves about it all the time anyways. BeeKay - if that's his name - is here with me - waiting for you. I just wanted you to know that I miss you. This last card wasn't planned, but I needed to say that. I don't know how we're supposed to separate for months at a time when after one day I need you back by my side. Anyways, I just wanted to say that._

_I miss you._

_Love,_

_S_

"We're here." Jason whispers, startling you. Looking around, you are surprised to see that you are in front of the brothers' apartment building. "You know which apartment, right?" he asks as he hands you a key. "Just go up." He says with a smile. You nod and go to leave when he unexpectedly engulfs you in a hug. "Welcome to the family, sis." He whispers in your ear, squeezing you tightly. You beam at him, the tears coming to your eyes again and nod a thank you.

When you are outside of the Grey's apartment, you are suddenly attacked with butterflies again. You wonder what more Shane has planned, but take a long breath to calm yourself before entering the room. The first thing you notice is the darkness; the next, BeeKay running up at you and sniffing your pumps. Laughing you pick up the puppy, kissing his head again, and setting him back down. You put the keys on the kitchen counter, squinting in the dimness, when you notice the candle lit table with two amazing looking meals on it.

Then finally you notice him.

He is standing there against the wall in a dark gray button up shirt and black pleated pants. "We match." He muses softly, his voice so sweet. He looks beautiful - like always. His hair is curly yet manageable, but frames his face nicely. His hands are lazily in his pockets as he looks you up and down. Perfection is hard to come by, but he is very close. You lean against the wall - too stunned to even move - and just watch him. For about thirty seconds, the only thing the two of you do is stare at each other with a bright smile on your faces.

Suddenly he looks down, breaking the spell and allowing you to let out the breath you were subconsciously holding. "This is amazing, Shane." You breathe out as your eyes fall on the food again. "Who knew you were such a sap?" you tease lightly as he finally steps in front of you. He doesn't answer you and instead comes forward to kiss you. His lips drive you slightly crazy while his hands produce a fire underneath your skin. He pulls at your bottom lip softly before stepping away. Breathing out gently, you put a hand on his cheek.

"I missed you too." You whisper.

Suddenly, his hands are sliding down your dress as he goes to his knees. "I love you." He whispers against your stomach. "So much." He chokes out, before looking up at you. "I know I should wait until we eat, but… I can't. I need to see this on your finger. I need it to be official." He admits sheepishly. You freeze as your heart begins to beat faster. He swallows harshly before taking out a ring. "Okay, Mitchie Torres, this is my promise to you. In a few years, I will marry you and make you my wife, but for now will you do me the honor of accepting this ring?" he stutters somewhat but you hardly notice. A tear runs down your face as you smile at him and nod. He bites his lip before sliding the ring on your finger.

You are officially engaged.

_--Wednesday--_

It is still early when you wake up but you don't mind. It gives you time to fully appreciate you new ring. It is absolutely breathtaking while not being common. It was a two tone gold diamond ring - with the band a white gold and a rose flower surrounding the actual diamond. It was incredibly unique to say the least, but it fit your left hand amazing well. "Mmm." Shane moans against your naked skin as he starts to stir. You smile as he tightens his hold on you and nuzzles your neck. "Like it?" he mumbles softly. You laugh and arch backwards into him.

"Love it." you whisper back.

"Good." He smiles against you back before running his hands up and down your bare sides. His fingers lightly brush against your sensitive nipple as he starts kissing and nibbling on your shoulder. You moan as his hand starts dipping lower into your sex, and you turn somewhat to face him. He continues kissing your neck until -

"Oh, my God. BeeKay!" you squeal as the dog jumps on top of the two of you and starts licking your faces. Shane groans but laughs as the puppy shakes his tail enthusiastically.

"Okay, if I would have known you would be another cockblocker in my life, I would have never had bought you." Shane teases it as he grabs him and playfully throws him in the air. You laugh loudly at that and sit up to pet the puppy as Shane narrows his eyes at it. "We should have called you Nate." He mutters and you smirk loudly. Shane mockingly growls at BeeKay, snapping his teeth at him and the puppy bounces on top of him. BeeKay starts biting the sheets after a while and suddenly the two of them are in a humorous tug of war.

"Dude, you're gonna rip the sheets." You scold them both teasingly before petting BeeKay pointedly. The puppy whimpers but obliges, before jumping towards you. "So…" you trail off before sighing. "Are you walking him or shall I?" you ask with an eyebrow raise. When Shane groans and flops back on the bed, you roll your eyes and get off it. You pull on some random clothes rather quickly before grabbing BeeKay. "So do you have a leash?" you ask Shane and you suddenly have to hold your hand in front of your face to stop it from hitting you. Shane laughs.

"Sorry."

Glaring at him, you flick him off before putting the leash on the puppy. It jumps enthusiastically at your feet as you start walking him out. It doesn't take you long until you are outside and jogging to keep up with the hyper dog. You laugh as he starts running in circles and barking at the scared seagulls. You look up when you hear people talking loudly and blink when all you see is white flashes. You put your hand on your stomach subconsciously as you hear your name - your name! - being called out from everywhere. BeeKay whimpers and hides behind your legs as you raise your hand off of your stomach to shield your eyes.

Swallowing harshly, you quickly turn around and pick up BeeKay, before almost running back to the apartment. Panting, you open the door still a little frighten and angry. Shane is in the kitchen now, making grilled cheese sandwiches. He turns to smile at you but softly it turns into a frown. "What happened?" he asks as you set the puppy on the ground. It immediately goes tearing into the living room as you walk to Shane and hug him.

"I hate that you are famous." You groan as you wrap your arms around his body. You nuzzle your face in his chest, as he frowns deeper and moves around the sandwiches on the pan. "I might have made a mistake." You admit softly. Shane bites his lip before putting his head on the top of yours, making you hug him tighter.

"Okay." He whispers softly, stretching out the word.

"I had my hand on my stomach when the paparazzi jumped out. I don't know… I got scared." You mumble into his chest and he freezes. You feel him tense and swallow, before sighing and turning off the stove. "I'm sorry." You whisper and he breaks your embrace to grab some plates.

"They are bound to find out Mitchie." He says, shrugging his shoulders even though his voice is steady. When he puts down the plate on the table and turns back to you, he is looking at you a little disappointedly. "Although, _this…_" he mutters, picking up your left hand. "Should have been hidden for a while." He nudges your hand, rubbing the engagement ring band. Your eyes widen and you wince at him.

"Sorry." You whisper, and he shrugs. The tension leaves his body as he interlaces your fingers and picks up the plates. He guides you back to the bedroom, setting the plates down on the night table. He turns to you, still frowning as you climb in next to him on the bed.

Suddenly, he shrugs and pulls you close. "Eh. They were bound to find that out as well." He justifies with a sigh after a while.

_--Thursday--_

"You're engaged!" it wasn't much of a question but rather a loud angry yell that resonates throughout the house. You and Shane look down, fighting in between shame and courage. "Shane -" Ms. Grey sputters out. "You're eighteen years old. Mitchie is sixteen. Are you out of your ever loving mind? And to hear about this not from my son but through your publicist. Are you trying to kill me Shane? We raised you better than this Shane Adam Grey! Why do you want to get married anyways, huh?" she screams. You squirm in your seat as you and your fiancé stay quiet. "Huh? Answer me! If you cannot even tell me what you want in her - what you love about her - why the hell should I let you do this?"

Shane's eyes light up with anger. "Don't you dare question my love for Mitchie, Mother." he hisses, standing up with his fist clenched. Mr. Grey, who had mostly been sitting silent and shaking in anger in the background, finally stood up. You could see Shane take a half an inch step back as his father narrowed his eyes at him.

"Stop it, Shane. Dan - sit down. Remember your heart." Ms. Grey counters with a ragged sigh. Your heart is beating loudly in your chest as Mr. Grey and Shane glare each other down, before Shane finally looks away and takes another step back. You put a hand on his back, feeling his tense muscle. ""If you two think you are adults, well then we're going to speak like we are adults. It's the day before Christmas Eve. Please - let's not do this." She says, swallowing before jumping when Mr. Grey scoffs loudly.

"These two morons are not adults. They are kids and kids should be controlled, not let run lose and do bullshit like they want to do. You will listen to me very clearly, Shane!" his voice gets progressively higher as he towers over Shane. "I don't give a fuck if you think you love her or even if you really do. You are not just some kid like she is. You are so much better than her. I don't care if you're depressed or suicidal. Don't you understand you have a responsibility to your family? You, my son, are the front man - the playmaker. You are what keeps this family afloat in the entertainment world and I will not accept you doing some disgrace to this family. Don't you realize that you are worth so much more money when you don't have some bitch next to you?" He yells.

The entire time your heart wants to jump out of your chest and you cannot possibly say anything; however, the second he calls you a bitch Shane shakes with rage. Suddenly, your lover throws himself to his father, punching him squarely in the face. Ms. Grey yells, and immediately tries to separate them but Mr. Grey just pushes her off. Shane clenches his fists again as Mr. Grey scoffs and spits out some blood from his month. "You little fucker." He mutters darkly before grabbing Shane roughly by his arm. You instantly get up, wanting to protect him.

But you cannot do much as Mr. Grey punches Shane in the face and pushes him so that he can kick him. You scream as does his mother as Shane goes down harshly to the floor. "Who the hell do you think you are, you little bastard?" he yells as Shane tries to get up. You go to him, your small hands around his waist to help him stand. He wipes his mouth before spreading his hands out to protect you as he breathes out hard.

"Daniel, stop it!" Ms. Grey yells when he goes forward. She tries to hold him back and he halfway pushes her again. Shane tries to get out of your grasp but you do not let him. Mr. Grey scoffs again before turning around and walking out, slamming the door loudly on his way out. Ms. Grey immediately breaks down in tears as you try to hold it together. Shane sighs, halfway in relief and halfway in pain, as you hear footsteps going down the steps. You turn around to see who it is and meet the confused and very young eyes of Nate Grey.

He is in sweats with a random white shirt - looking less like a rockstar and more like a regular child. His wide eye innocence looks over the scene and you watch as his heart breaks. "What just happened?" he whispers softly, and you hug Shane from behind even harder.

"Nathaniel, go upstairs." Shane orders shakily, coughing slightly. Nate lower his eyebrows hurtfully, and Shane's eyes water. "Please, man. Just trust me. I don't want him coming back and doing something to you…" he says his voice hoarse yet so soft. "Go upstairs." He says again. The younger boy stays still for a couple seconds but eventually turns around and goes back to his room. Shane swallows again before getting out of your grasp to embrace his mother. She cries in his chest as he holds her, before looking at you with wide sad eyes.

"I want to get out of here." You mouth to him, slightly shaking as you hold your stomach. He nods and kisses the top of his mother's head, before stepping away from her and going to you. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Grey." You whisper but she doesn't look at you. And then suddenly, the two of you are gone from his house and in his car.

He disappears after he drops you off at his apartment. You try to convince him you need to clean him up and he needs to calm down, but he ignores you and pushes you away. So, now you are alone waiting in his bed for him to come home as you play mindlessly with BeeKay. The puppy at first jumped and barked and licked like it had the first time you met him, but after a while, he noticed you are not into it. When you start crying, the dog starts whimpering with you. Squeezing the puppy close to your chest, you close your eyes and wish today never happened.

You don't know how long Shane is gone for; all you know is that when you hear the door open again, it is dark out. You let BeeKay go and walk slowly to the bedroom door, leaning against the doorway to watch him. He moves slowly, like he cannot even see where he is going. "Shane." You whisper and he snaps his head at you quickly. He stares at you for a couple seconds before leaning against the kitchen counter. All of a sudden, he is sliding down to the floor, still not facing you. Silently, you make your way to him and freeze when you notice that his shoulders are shaking wildly and that the smell is invading your nose is from him.

He's been smoking again.

Sighing disappointedly, you go to him, your heart breaking as you here his sobs. Kneeling on the ground beside him, you wrap your arms around his shaking body. "Shh, it's going to be okay." You whisper in his ear, before leaning his head on your breasts. He continues to completely break down as you run your hands through his hair. "Shh, please honey. Shane, it's okay." You repeat over and over, pressing your lips to his forehead and hair. "It's all going to be okay."

--_Friday--_

It's Christmas Eve, but your mother wants you home by tomorrow, so you were planning to give Shane his gift today. You wake up before him and everything to cook him breakfast and set the table. When he gets up, he looks at you numbly, scared to say anything. You give him a timid smile. "Just forget everything, okay? It's about to be Christmas. It's a magical time. Forget about our BS lives and just focus on the fact that I'm here with you and that I love you." You say as you go to him. You wrap your arms around him as he gives you a small smile. "I love you, Shane." You whisper.

He doesn't answer but instead leans forward and kisses you with everything he has. You whimper against his lips as his tongue enters your mouth and he starts kissing you like he will never kiss you again. All his frustration, all his anger, all his sadness pent up in one kiss until literally neither one of you can kiss. "Wow." You breathe out, momentarily stunned. He gives a triumph albeit small smile before leading you to the table. "Um…" you trail off, clearing your throat. "I made pancakes and bacon. Sorry, no eggs. I decide not to risk that." You say sheepishly and he nods. "And I got you something. Open it now?" you bite your lip.

He smiles again and nods. Sighing gently, you grab the present and hand it to him. "Just know, I don't have that much money. That's why I hate that you spend so much on me. I cannot reciprocate, you know, but this is really special to me. I mean, I don't want you doing anything with them, but just know I wrote them for you." You explain rather quickly as he tears open the paper and see your loopy handwriting on the cover of a small yellow book.

_Mitchie's Song Book._

"I wrote them for you or about you rather since we started going out. From the minute we first kissed to last week. They are my personal thoughts and they are for you." You say softly and Shane looks up to you with watery eyes. Suddenly, he stands up from his chair and hugs you tightly.

"I love you." He speaks the first words that morning. "Thank you. That is so sweet of you." He tells you, kissing your forehead before dipping down to kiss your lips. "It means a lot, Mitchie." He tells you with bright eyes. You smile up at him before digging your head in his chest. "I got you something too." He admits as he rubs your back. "But unfortunately, it's currently all the way in New York in the form of a small apartment complex." He says almost inaudible. You freeze and look up; he bites his lip. "We're gonna need somewhere to live. This way it's close to your family and still in the city. It will be yours for now though. Any time you need to get away, you can take BeeKay and just… picture me there or something." He finishes sadly. You don't answer him but instead just hug him again.

"Our food's cold." You mutter after a while and he laughs lightly. Shane lets go of you and picks up the two plates before nodding at you to follow him. You groan playfully. "Another day just chilling in bed? Well, we're productive." You tease him softly but follow him anyways.

That's how you spend Christmas Eve - in bed, cuddling, occasionally getting up to either go to the bathroom or eat something - until about six when the two of you finally get ready. The plan a couple days ago was to go to the main house for dinner, but since that seemed inappropriate, the two of you have planned to go out to a place called Valentino's that Shane got reservations for at the last minute. Except right as you walk out to leave, there is Jason holding a huge pan in his hands. "A little help please." He groans under the weight.

You open in your mouth slightly in surprise but do what he says. In the background, you see two very beautiful girls coming up the stairs, each with something in their hands, along with Nate. "Hey." He says sheepishly at you as Jason goes in and puts stuff on the kitchen counter. "Sorry, but Christmas Dinner is with family no matter what, but since you're leaving early, we're having it today." He explains as the two chatting girls suddenly quiet down, looking at you curiously. One you have heard way too much about in the media and such. The other you have never seen before. "This is my girlfriend Alexis. Alexis this is Shane's girl, Mitchie." He introduces the two of you as Shane steps out of the room.

"Hey… what's going on?" he asks confused when he sees the amount of people inside. He nods at Nate and Jason, and then to the two girls. "Guys. Alexis. Dannie. What's going on?" he repeats as he fixes his tie and raises his eyebrow. Nate shrugs and clears his throat.

"Sorry for barging in, but Christmas is a time for family." He explains again.

XXX

"Here you go Mitchie. I got this for you so that you never - hopefully - have to use mine ever again…Just saying." Nate mutters under his breath but with a smirk. You roll your eyes but accept the huge package, before handing him your own gift. "Aw, thank you. My present is beasting though. Yours just won't compare." Nate says sarcastically.

You roll your eyes again. "Unless you fit a small Mustang in here, I highly doubt I will fall all over myself. Just open the damn thing before I tell Shane you were drinking at that club on your birthday." You say sticking out your tongue. He softly pushes you, laughing slightly, as you smile back to him. Sure, everything has been super awkward for a while, but it's Christmas - and he is right. It's time for family, and from now on, Nate is your family.

Going back to your present, the second you unwrap it you do basically fall all over yourself. "Wow." You whisper, your fingers sliding over the shiny blue paint. "Whoa. Nate this is…way too much." You whisper, almost choking on your words. He is not looking at you but instead smiling over your gift - a book about his favorite artist and two tickets to a show by the man Shane helped you score. "I can't believe you got me a guitar." You whisper as you strum it softly.

"I can't believe you got me Elvis Costello tickets." He says with a bright smile before engulfing you in a hug.

"Hey, I get to hug her first. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for getting me the shoes. I didn't know how I would ever get them. I knew if I kept talking about them someone would be an angel and get them for me. Thank you so much." Jason says very quickly as both Grey brothers hug you. Laughing, you give them both a kiss on the cheek before going over to Shane who was talking to Jason's girlfriend, Dannie on the couches. He wraps his arms around you but doesn't end his conversation, which you don't mind. You close your eyes against his chest, snuggling close to him. He unconsciously places his head on top of yours as he speaks to her and you smile against his chest.

And that's when it happens. The news that shakes up everyone.

You feel vibration against Shane's pocket and move away from him confused. He lowers his eyebrows before pulling out his cell phone and answering it. "Hello?" he whispers confused at who would call at eleven- fifty at night. "Mom? Mom, calm down." He says, suddenly sitting up and making you bump against the table. Shane ignores you as you hiss and rub your hurt head, and suddenly he is clenching his fists. "What happened?" he whisper softly as Nate turns off the music and everyone turns to look at Shane. "Where?" he continues with a touch of panic in his voice. "When? How? I don't understand how that could happen." He argues, his voice getting higher and higher.

"Shane." You whisper shaking him softly. "Is everything okay?" you ask as Nate, Jason and the two girls come closer to you. They crowd around you, looking at him pointedly, as Shane shakes his head.

"That's impossible." He whispers, his voice cracking. "I mean…Mom please tell me you're lying." He chokes out, suddenly standing up and pushing you away. Nate goes to him and puts a hand on his shoulder, stopping him as Shane listens to his mother over the line. "But mom… okay, whatever. I'll be right there." He says, before ending the call. He immediately puts a hand to his face and you watch a tear run down. Everyone turns to look at one another with concern, until you stand up and go next to Nate. Beside you the clock chimes twelve.

_--Saturday--_

"Honey, what happened?" you ask softly as the clock continues to ring softly in the background. He does not answer you, but instead blinks away another tear. Jason goes behind you as you swallow down the bile going up your throat. "Baby?" You repeat, rubbing his arm softly.

"C'mon, man. You're scaring us." Jason says hoarsely.

Shane finally looks up. He looks broken and hurt. "It's Dad." He whispers numbly, before pushing past all three of you and going to the door.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	36. Chapter 36

"**Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down." Pushing Me Away - Linkin Park**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 36

"Shane, you okay?" you say as you know softly on the door. You look at your brother - your older brother - sadly. He looks like a shadow of himself. You have not seen him this out of it since he came back from the hotel back in July. You remember you, Jason, Uncle Brown and Mitchie's mother went looking everywhere for Mitchie and Shane after they ran away. You didn't know what to think. On one hand, Shane was not just running away from his responsibilities. He was leaving everything on you - the band, the label, your father. It wasn't fair. On the other hand though, Shane loved Mitchie and he deserved to be happy.

Even though, back then, you did not believe at all that Shane loved her. You could see in his eyes the lust he had for her back when you caught them in their room together. Mitchie tried to lie, but you could see the way Shane tensed when she squealed and told you she loved you. You knew - you just decided to keep quiet about it. If you had known the end result back then, you would have stopped him. But now -

Now, you realize how much they love each other. Now, they truly love each other. The lust and disregard he used to see in his eyes have changed into care and protectiveness for her. The passiveness and fear you used to see in hers is now assertiveness and adoration. You are not blind. You know they cannot live without each other; that's why you called Mitchie when Shane tried to commit suicide - because you knew out of the million of girls that love him, only one could help. Only one truly cared.

So why is ignoring her when he needs her the most?

"You know Mitchie leaves in three hours, right?" you say stepping in the room when he doesn't turn to face you. You watch him tense but besides that make no movement. He is so…

Gone.

His eyes are distant and focused on nothing. His face is pale and unmoving. His shoulders are tense and angled away from you. He doesn't want to talk - you know that, but you cannot help but climb into his bed anyways. His eyes suddenly become sharp as he glares at you witheringly. "Get the fuck out, Nate. I don't need this right now." He snaps.

He obviously is looking for fight, but unfortunately for him, you can see past his charades. He is hurt - so hurt. You know your father picked favorites. It is no surprise that Jason is overlooked while you are treasured. You have no idea why your father has always been so doting to you while hating Shane so much, but over the past five years, all your father wants from Shane is for him to perform and make money. He wants him to be someone, but Shane has never wanted to be anyone. You know in your heart that fame has done nothing but hurt him, but your father cannot grasp that idea. "Talk to Mitchie, please. She's worried." You try again.

He gives an almost unseen wince. He hides it well, but you catch it. You are his little brother after all. You look up to him - as even though he has had so much hardship in his life, he is still going and he is still bouncing back. Failure is inevitable in people's lives; it's how people respond to those failures that makes the person. True, Shane did not handle Mitchie leaving or the pressure from your father well, but he found a way to make himself happy again. He found a way to become Shane again. "Don't push her away, Shane." You continue when he does not say anything to you.

He turns to glare at you again, clicking his tongue. "Don't tell me what to do." He argues angrily in a low voice. He is trying to scare you. It doesn't surprise you - you know his tactics. Every time he falls into a depression, he pushes everyone away with yells and threats to the point where no one wants to even see him. You are used to it and for once, you will not play into his little game.

"No, Shane." You say fiercely. "Don't you realize what you have?" you scold him, crossing your arms. Shane rolls his eyes and turns his head away from you. You growl under your breath. "Are you really going to do this? Keep yourself cooped up in this room? I mean, we're all sad and worried, Shane but come on. You act like Dad got a heart attack on purpose just to hurt you. I know your relationship isn't the best but you have to go see him Shane. What if… what if he dies? Don't you want to know that you… at least tried to say goodbye?" words escape you and you realize after a while that you are crying. "And Mitchie?" you go back to her, your voice getting ridiculously high.

"Stop." He finally says forcibly. You can hear the hurt, the pain, the desperation behind his voice. "Please." He whispers, closing his eyes. You freeze when you see a tear fall down his face, before shaking your head even though he cannot see you.

"No, Shane." You mutter back with a ragged sigh. "I won't stop. I'll keep talking 'till I get it in your head that Mitchie's amazing. Do you know how much I would die for a girl like that? Alexis is great, but we're always up and down and sometimes I wonder if the only reason we're together is to get publicity. Mitchie - you would never have to. She loves you not because you're famous, but because you're you. She would do anything for you, man." At that point, you watch Shane bring his knees up to his chest and putting his head in his hands. "And you wanna marry her? When times get tough Shane - and they will - you cannot just block her out because you do not want her to see you in pain. She has been going crazy, man. I think she's going to cancel her flight." You tell him and he finally looks at you.

"D-don't." he starts, his voice cracking with emotion. He clears his throat. "Don't let her stay. She needs to go talk to her mom. She needs to go back to her life. Who the hell was I kidding? I can't provide her the life that she deserves. I might have money but I don't…I can't… she…needs more." He justifies rather confusingly. You sigh with frustration.

"Stop it!" you yell at him, making him jump. "Stop cowering. You come to the house to hide from everyone? You won't go see Dad in the hospital? You won't talk to Mitchie? And now you're pushing her away? Why, huh?" you continue to scream, your eyes flaring. "Why! I want to know! Is it because if she's not around - if you kick her out, if you leave her - she cannot leave you? Is that it? Is it because you're afraid of losing Dad? Is because you're afraid something will happen to her?" you say, pushing him so he faces you.

His eyes fill up with tears again. "Stop it!" he screams back raggedly. You can see it - he's about to break down.

"No!" you bellow, standing up. "I won't! You're afraid! You're afraid of losing her like you might lose Dad. Guess what, Shane? If you don't go into that hospital today, you might never see him again. You will never fix things! Do you want that with Mitchie? Do you want to not even say goodbye just because you're too much of a fucking coward? So much for loving her, man. I was wrong. You're a worthless piece of shit, Shane. And you're right - you don't deserve her. You're just a coward! I hope you have fun being all alone." You spit out before turning to leave. You hear him stand up, knocking something to the ground.

"Please, don't s-say that. Y-you don't understand." He stutters with eyes filled with tears. "I just… she doesn't need the stress I put on her. She deserves someone who will love her no matter what and makes her happy and never makes her cry ever. She doesn't need me to bring her down, especially now…" he trails off, making you bite your lip in anger. You know they have been hiding something from you and its driving you absolutely crazy.

"Especially now! What the hell has happened?" you throw out but your voice is shaky. Your mind keeps going to your mother's face when you went to the hospital earlier to see your father. She was so upset and you don't know how to change that and now Shane too? It's killing you - everything. It's just killing you.

Shane gulps and looks away, rocking softly on the heels of his feet. "Nate, you have to understand I do love Mitchie. More than anyone in the world, but I don't know… Maybe you're right. I'm scared. I'm scared she will get hurt. I'm scared of the stress I'm putting on her. I don't want it happening again, Nate. It's the last thing I want." He whispers before sitting down on the bed. Suddenly he was crying, pulling his knees up to his chest again to protect himself. All the anger you felt goes away in seconds as your heart breaks.

"You don't want what happening again?" you whisper lightly, leaning against the doorway for support.

He breathes in before softly letting the air go. When he looks up at you again, his eyes are overwhelmed with tears. "Nate… Mitchie's pregnant." He admits and your whole body tenses. He looks at your expression before sighing. "I know. I know. I'm such an idiot. She could have done so much more in her life if she didn't have this to tie her down, but you know what Nate? I rather have her have that child than have her miscarry again. That literally broke her. I can't have that." He continues, rubbing his eyes forcibly. You blink at him and all is silent for awhile.

"So, let me get this straight." You start after you can think again. "You are ignoring Mitchie right now not because you want to but because in you want to protect her." You repeat slowly. Shane doesn't say anything but just nods. The anger that left you suddenly comes back full force. "Are you fucking kidding me right now, Shane? You want to see Mitchie break? Break up with her. Leave her. She will never recover from that. She needs you - don't you get that. Even I get that." You shake your head but Shane doesn't look at you. "Fine. Do whatever the fuck you want. Merry Christmas, Shane." You throw in the towel before walking out.

--_Mitchie--_

"Did you talk to Shane?" you jump up and ask as soon as Nate comes in the door. "Where is he? Is he alright?" you asks mile a minute. Jason puts a hand on your back, trying to calm you down, but you cannot tear your eyes away from the younger boy. Nate sighs and shrugs.

"Yeah. I talked to him." He whispers softly as he takes off his jacket. He sounds so exhausted as if he had worked hard to find him. You look at him pointedly, but he doesn't continue answering your questions. Instead, his eyes travel down your front until they land on your stomach. You self-consciously wrap your arms around your lower boy. You repeat your question, snapping Nate out of his graze. "He's fine. He's at the house." He answers distractedly and you automatically realize what's going on.

Nate knows.

You breathe out slowly. "Can someone drive me over to the house please?" you ask awkwardly as shame starts rising inside of you. Nate does not answer you but instead just gives you a sympathetic look. "Please." You repeat as Jason and Nate share a look. Groaning angrily, you push past both of them. "Fine. I'll a find a way." You say bitterly before going out the door. You slam the door shut behind you and look out into afternoon air.

You are scheduled to leave in only a few hours, but right now, you know Shane deserves your support. When the door opens behind you, Nate walks wordlessly to his car before opening the passenger's door pointedly. Tears start to gather in your eyes as you feel all the pressure on your shoulders quadruple. You know you will have to talk to Nate. "Thanks." You whisper as you climb into the car.

You watch him as he silently goes to his side, starts the car, and begin to drive away. "Shane told you." You state with a sigh. He looks at you for a second before glancing back to the road.

"Forget about that right now, Mitchie." He says. It scares you how he keeps his emotions completely off his face. You try to figure out if he is mad or disappointed or what, but he gives no indication. It only brings the shame to all time high inside of you. "I don't care about that right now." He continues as he runs his hand through his short curls. Sighing he grips the steering wheel. "Mitchie…" he trails off, before swallowing. You finally notice the one emotion he allows to show: anxiety. "I think Shane is going to break up with you." He blurts out, still not looking at you.

"Wow." You let out, as your heart starts beating fast. You don't even know how to describe the moment. All you know is your chest feels tight. Your body feels numb. You cannot breathe. It lasts for about two seconds before you can relax, but for that moment, you swear you felt your life end. "Shane…is just hurt. He doesn't know how to handle situations. I know he loves me." You tell Nate but your voice shakes. Doesn't the boy realize you are close to tears already? "What is wrong with you?" you suddenly snap at him, tears rushing down your face. "I'm fucking pregnant, Nate. Don't scare me." You scold him as you wipe your face.

He sighs angrily. "And that's my fault. Fuck you, Mitchie. I'm trying the best I can. I'm trying to give you advice. I'm trying to help you, Goddamn it!" he yells, hitting the steering wheel with a bang. You laugh humorlessly and shake your head.

"You're trying to help me? Yeah, because it isn't like you haven't been fucking with me since you found out about me and Shane. What are you trying to do, hmm? Separate us? Are you trying to get us to break up so no one finds out that Shane got me pregnant? Is this your great scheme?" you accuse furiously as Nate laughs this time. He pulls over the side of the road and glares at you.

"Are you fucking seri-"

You quickly cut him off. "It would mean the end of the band's image. It would mean the label dropping you, wouldn't it? At the expense of Shane's happiness Nate. Why don't you just tell me some bigger lie like he's sleeping with Norah or he's actually gay or something? I don't believe you for a second. Wants to break up with me? You're out of your mind." You scream and his mouth parts, before he hisses slightly.

"I'm trying to separate you." He says sarcastically between gritted teeth. "He's trying to… I never claimed he didn't love you, Mitchie! He is running away from this because he doesn't know how to handle it…which if you think about it, I wonder where he learned that?" He spits out, attacking you. You let out an angry stream of breath.

"Oh, okay. What the fuck ever, Nate. Maybe I ran in the past, but I can't anymore! Don't you understand that me and Shane love each other? Don't you get that I'm a child? Neither one of us can run away from this. It's happening - we can wish, we can dream, we can pray - it isn't going to change. Now, grow the fuck up Nate, and realize that you cannot just separate us because you don't want us together." You continue to yell. Once again he slams his hand on the steering wheel, yelling something - _I'm trying to separate you two!­ - _but you ignore him. "Why is that huh? Is it because Alexis is so fucked up and your relationship is shit? Can you not see your brother hap-py?" you stutter out, the tears coming harder.

"Oh! Oh my, God!" he gasps with angry eye. "Don't even try to talk about me and Alexis because you have no fucking idea!" he bellows, and you turn away from him and look out the window. The air is tense, so angry, and so sad. You are crying hard and you can barely see. You jump when Nate hits the steering wheel again and turn to him again. You notice the tears running down his face as he grips the wheel, before putting his forehead against it. "I can't believe my dad's in the hospital. What if he dies?" he chokes, squeezing his eyes shut. You don't even know what to say or think, but you just reach over to him and put his head against your chest.

He cries harshly, gripping the leather so violently. "I'm not trying to break you guys up." He repeats again, tears messing up his voice. "Don't you fucking understand? Shane is scared he is going to hurt you. He's scared of losing you. I'm not trying to break you up. I'm trying to get you to save him, Mitchie." He says, breaking your embrace and putting his head against the window.

Guilt and anger go through you at the same time. "How the hell is breaking up with me going to help me?" you say, your voice cracking. Nate suddenly groans.

"That's what I told Shane!" he yells with frustration, sighing harshly. You stay quiet, breathing crazily as you wipe your face again. "Fuck." He says, hitting the steering wheel again. "I'm not trying to split you guys up." He says again for good measure you suppose. He looks at you again, before roughly running his hands across his eyes. He swallows. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things." He apologizes sincerely and you nod.

"I'm sorry too." You whisper, as the silence engulfs you again. After a while, Nate starts the car and you clear your throat."God, what the fuck was that?" you wonder out loud and he sighs.

"That was repressed anger on my part, and serious hormones on yours." He explains with a weak smirk before clearing his throat as well when you glare at him. "I can't believe you're pregnant. There's going to be little Shanes running around. That makes my life fucking complete." He states sarcastically, frowning.

"Oh, shut up." You snap.

"You shut up."

"I'm not playing this game." You tell him, but it still makes you laugh. The ice is broken again, and you realize you needed that fight. Maybe now the two of you can move pass whatever the hell was holding you back from trusting each other. "I am sorry." You repeat, this time more genuinely. You put a hand on his knee, squeezing it gently. "And your father will be okay." You squirm as he parks in front of his house.

"Thanks." He whispers, before looking down. You awkwardly let go of him, before getting out of the car. The second you slam the door, Nate jets off - making you realize you two have a long way to go. Sighing, you go quickly up the stairs before ringing the doorbell frantically. When no one answers, you take the key Jason gave you earlier and open the house, before swiftly going to Shane's room. You bang on it when you find it locked. "Shane, open up!" you yell, as you get a bad feeling run through you. Shane doesn't handle bad things well.

Shane doesn't handle them well at all.

"Shane! Open the door, babe!" you continue to yell, and after a moment, you realize you hear small noise come form through the door along with light scratching on it. BeeKay. "Shane, come on, man." You say, as you connect your palm with the door one last time before the door is thrown open. You freeze when you see his bloodshot eyes stare back at you almost completely distantly, until the moment is broken by your dog jumping up and pawing your jeans. You look down for a second and when you look back up, Shane has already turned around and walking towards his bed. "What the hell, Shane?" you whisper as you step in the room.

He doesn't even look at you as he lies down on the bed. You sigh and go to touch him, but he jerks away from you, practically hitting his head against the backboard. You stare at him hurtfully as the Labrador puppy jumps on the bed and goes straight to you, digging his furry head in your stomach slightly painfully. Immediately, Shane reaches over and pushes the dog away, making BeeKay whimper slightly as he jumps off the bed. Shane snaps his eyes to you, makes sure you are alright, before going back to ignoring you.

"Really?" you question his actions, but he still does not answer you. You stare at him, taking in his messy hair, his crumbled clothes, and his distant stare. "Shane…" you try again, coming closer. He awkwardly moves away from you, swallowing harshly. "Stop. Please, don't push me away." You say, lowering your eyebrows.

He shakes his head, still not looking at you. "You don't understand." He whispers steadily, but sounding so far away.

Anger runs through you. "I don't understand? I don't understand to be mad at someone? Or do I not understand death?" you say, as he stays absolutely still looking away from you. "My best fri-end died, Shane, and at the time I wasn't even talking to her." You choke out, looking away from him. "Do you know how much it kills me to know that this amazing girl that I grew up with, that was my best friend when no one would talk to me, died and I didn't even talk to her for weeks?" you are yelling, louder and louder with every word, but it's not directed at him.

You just have never talked about it, and the bottle inside of you just snapped.

"Do you what how much that kills me? Don't you understand, Shane? I get it better than you do! I never got to say goodbye or I love you or I'm sorry. It was flat-line and move on, or rather as Nate puts it, run away. Are you going to do the same mistake, hmm? Are you going to go through life wondering what would you have said if you could back in time and just say goodbye? Because if you are, you are a coward." You say, your eyes widening when he turns back at you with tears running down his face.

"Why the fuck is everyone calling me coward today?" he yells back at you, his voice breaking.

"Maybe because you're hiding from everyone?" you throw out, breathing hard. "Especially me, Shane. I mean, I've never thought of myself as important at all, but I like to think I'm important to you - that you love me, that you would do anything for like promised me you would. Please don't tell me you were just lying." You say completely heartbroken, looking at him with blurry eyes. He gasps softly before closing his eyes and letting the tears fall.

"Oh, Mitchie." He breathes out as you bring your knees to your chest and put your head in your hands. You jump when you feel his touch - his sweet touch - on your upper arm, pulling you gently to him. "Come here." He says, crying with you. You stare at him for a couple seconds before obeying him and going to him. He immediately brings your legs to either side of him before connecting your lips. The kiss is messy and too rough and crazy, but you know the two of you need it. His arms wrap around you, pulling you as close as possible to him.

You dig your hands in his hairs roughly, bringing him closer as your tearstained cheeks press together. "It's okay." You break away from him, hugging him securely. He dips his head to the nook of your neck, squeezing you tightly to him. "It's going to be okay. He's going to be fine, baby. I promise." You say over and over as he cries. "It's going to be okay no matter what." Bringing his head up, you look him in the eye. He looks so lost, so hurt. "I love you, Shane and I'm not gonna let you push me away in order to feed your sick and twisted thought that I don't need you. I need you so much…so much." You repeat, bringing your small hand up to his cheek to wipe away his tears.

He looks at you, searching your eyes, before softly nodding and leaning forward. He presses his lips to yours before bring you back in a hug. That's how you stay - in a tight, never-letting-go embrace so you can fix one another.

XXX

"I'm here for you, Shane." You tell him, rubbing his arm softly when he pauses outside the door.

"I don't want to do this." He admits vulnerably as you step in closer to let a nurse go by you and he stares at his father's hospital room nervously. "What if he's…what if I go in there and he yells at me for something? Or he just doesn't care that I'm there? Or tells me I'm worthless and that's it's all my fault? Or I don't deserve anything and that I should go to hell?" Shane coughs and throws his head back against the wall. You sigh and wrap your arms around him again, putting your head on his chest. He gently brings his hand up to your hair, caressing you.

"If he does, we'll leave, but you have to do this Shane. Trust me." You whisper before looking and kissing him softly on his cheek. "Come on. I'll be with you the whole time, I promise." You say, linking your hands together as you lightly pull him towards the room. Shane sighs but moves in front of you, opening the door hesitantly but opening it nonetheless. When you walk in, Shane lets out a sigh when he sees his father asleep. You bite your lip, your emotions utterly crazy because of this man. There are wires all over, connect to his body and the heart monitor.

Shane stops for a second before sitting down, glancing at you. "Give me five." He asks and you nod hesitantly, before walking to the door. You turn around to give Shane and his father privacy, but you can still hear him sigh. "Hey, Dad." He lets out with a sad laugh. "Amazing time to have a father son chat huh?" he laughs mirthlessly again, the emotion obvious in his voice. "Hey, son. Congratulations of finding such a great girl." He suddenly says in a gruff voice, pretending to be his father. "Yeah, Dad." He says in his normal tone. "She is. I thought maybe you were right. That I was too young to find love right away and that we should wait, but today, I realized just how special she is to my heart." His voice cracks slightly, before he's back in a deeper voice. "Hey, that's great, Shane. I'm glad for you. I'm proud of you and I think you will are great. I love you." He finishes with a sob.

He sucks in his breath loudly. "That's funny, Dad, because I love you too and all I've ever wanted to do is make you proud and make you make me, which is funny because I should have to make you love me. You should automatically, but you've never given a damn. When did you stop loving me Dad? When I turned into a money machine? When I tried to commit suicide? When you found out I was weak and I needed you? Is that when you decided I was worthless, huh, Dad? What the hell have I done to deserve you treating me this way? I've done everything to make you proud! Why don't you love me? It's the only thing I ask from you. It's the only thing that matters, you son of bitch. I hope one day you realize all that I have done for you and you realized that I loved you. I have Mitchie, Dad, but I cannot do this alone."

You don't even realize you are crying until a nurse gives you a strange look. You breathe out and try to compose yourself fully before Shane comes back out. He immediately reaches for you, pulling you into another hug, sobbing softly. You squeeze him tightly before kissing his cheek again. "I have to…" you start and he nods, separating himself from you while holding your hand. The two of you go back to his huge car slowly, not wanting to leave each other. "You know, I could call my mom. Tell her what happened. It's late anyways. By the time I get there, Christmas dinner will be starting. They would have to inconvenient themselves by picking me up and everything." You justify, looking at Shane expectantly as BeeKay jumps crazily in the backseat.

He wipes his eyes one last time before breathing out. "Mitchie, this is your mother's first Christmas by herself since your Dad left and she hasn't seen you in months. I need you to talk to her - tell her you are expecting - but also just to be there for her. It's the right thing to do." He tells you softly, making you scoff hurtfully. He sighs and reaches over to grab your hand before resting your hands on the center consol. "I'm going to miss you, but hopefully we will get together again. The tour has stopped, so now I'm in L.A. filming random crap but I'll try to get stuff to do in New York in order to be close to you." He tells you a little shakily.

You nod before squeezing his hand. He looks at you briefly before glancing back to the road. "Don't push me away ever again." You tell him, your eyes sharp. He nods before lifting your hand to his lips. He softly kisses you, before letting them drop again to the consol.

"I love you, Mitchie. I just freaked." He explains, but that's enough for you. Relaxing your shoulders, you sigh again.

"Me and Nate had a fight." You tell him when he looks over at you again. He raises his eyebrows. "Can you do him a favor and tell him that I don't think his relationship with Alexis is shit and that I do hope we can be friends one day?" you pout slightly and Shane laughs shakily. He gives you a small smile.

"Jesus, I leave for a couple hours and everything goes to hell." He jokes, squeezing your hand. "Don't worry. I'll tell him you don't think his fro is stupid as well just to put you in his good spirits." He says, making you roll your eyes. For a while nothing is said again, until Shane sighs. "Wow, today has been an emotionally draining day. I feel like its been years." He breathes out as he holds the wheel tightly.

"Yeah. It has been." Is all you say, as the LAX Airport comes into view.

**XXX**

**Sandy ©**


	37. Chapter 37

"**It was the night things changed. Can you feel it now?" Change - Taylor Swift **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 37

You put a hand on your stomach, standing sideways so you can see the growth in the miroor. "I can't do it, Shane." You admit, holding the phone with your shoulder pressed against your ear. He sighs over the line, making you groan. "I've tried, Shane. I promise!" you tell him, sitting on your closed toilet seat exasperatedly. "Every day I go up to her and try to say two words about me and you or the baby, but it just never comes out." You lament, closing your eyes.

"I'll be there in a day or so, so I guess I could come by and help you talk to her. I just think it would be less of a fight if you told her…" he trails off, before coughing slightly. "Although maybe it's better if I'm there with you instead of across the country when you tell her, so at least she believes us when we say we wanna be together." He changes his mind and you nod before blushing slightly when you remember he cannot see you.

You cross your legs, leaving your hand on your stomach. "How's your dad doing?" you ask lightly, changing the subject. Shane stays quiet for a second, before sighing.

"Good, I guess. He's back at home, but…you know, we've hardly talked. So, back to normal really. It's okay. I don't really care anyways." He lies, trying to play it off nonchalantly. Suddenly, he clears his throat. "Have you been to the apartment yet?" he says, his tone happier. You frown but do not say anything else about his father.

Plus talk of the apartment makes you hyper. "I go tomorrow with Caitlyn. I talked to her the other day and I'm going to try to reconnect with her. I mean, I might have been too late with Sierra, but I don't want to be too late with her." You tell him, just as your mother starts banging on the door.

"Mitchie, you okay in there?" she calls out to you, making you roll your eyes. You whisper a goodbye to Shane, as you slowly get up. You fix your shirt as best you can so it hides the bump.

"Okay, I'll see you in a few days. I love you, baby." He says before hanging up. Taking one last look in the mirror, you put your phone back in your pocket and open the door. Your mother stares at you with wide knowing eyes and hands on her hips. You stare at her like nothing's wrong and give her a smile.

"Hey, Mom." You say innocently.

She rolls her eyes. "Don't _hey_ me." She tells you, slapping your backside. You scrunch up your nose and start to leave, wanting to get out of talking to her as soon as possible. "You were in there for almost an hour." She points out, raising her eyebrow. You bite your lip, shrugging casually. "You know, if you want to talk to Shane, you do not have to go to the only soundproof room in the house. You can talk to him. I do think he's a good guy." She tells you with a slight frown. You nod tensely, before trying to leave again. "Wait!" she suddenly says. Your heart drops and you reluctantly turn back to her. "What are we doing for New Year's Eve?" she asks while biting her lip.

Your eyes widen. You forgot you did not tell her the plans; you have been avoiding her so much, you cannot remember what you have actually said to her and what's just in your head. "Well, I-I was thinking we could go to New York. Shane is performing at Times Square and we could… go." You finish awkwardly, stuttering somewhat as you rub your arm. Her eyes go wide.

"Oh." She says, slightly taken aback before shaking her head. "I don't know, Mitchie. You know how New York gets those days. Besides the cold, it is so dangerous and-"

You cut her off at that. "Well, Shane's security team would be there. You have to meet Large Bob. He's so nice, but also ten thousand pounds. He will so protect us, and plus, Shane got us in the least crowded area that is practically in front of the ball. And I guess, we could always stock up in clothing that day. Layers will be our friend." You explain rather quickly with a tight lipped smile. "Please?" you add softly. Your mother sighs and looks down for a couple moments, before looking up at you.

She nods. "Okay, we'll go see your boyfriend perform in the heart of Times Square. But only if we're safe."

--

"So, how about these sheets? They are pretty pink." Caitlyn holds up a package and you grab it for a second before shaking your head. Caitlyn frowns before scoffing mockingly. "Um, why?" she teases.

"Because Shane is not gay and if he comes home to pink sheets he will throw a fit." You remind her and she smirks. "Plus, our bed is full. That was twin." You point out and she rolls her eyes making you do the same. "Now, help me find a comforter that is unisex and preferably the right size, and I'll upgrade you to bestest friend ever." You joke with a smile. She laughs before linking your arms together and going down the next aisle.

The two of are at a local mall, looking for decorations and such here in New Jersey where the tax is nowhere as outrageous as the city. "How about these?" you say, picking the first blue-ish package that peeps out through the sea of plastic. As soon as you pull them out, Caitlyn burst out laughing. You look at the parcel and suddenly turn bright red. "What? You don't think Shane will like sheets that have little Star Wars figures?" you laugh before throwing it back into the mess. Caitlyn snickers.

"He might - you never know. Shane Grey could be a closet Trekkie." She throws out, as she hands you another thing of sheets. You stick out your tongue at her playfully before shaking your head, laughing slightly.

"That's Star Trek, you moron. This is R2-D2…Why do I know that?" you ask under your breath before picking up a nice blue and green striped comforter. "How about this one?" you ask and Caitlyn tilts her head appreciably, biting the inside of her lip.

"Well, you got to remember, whatever sheets you pick, you will be having sex on so they better be perfect." She mocks, wiggling her eyebrows. You narrow your eyes before slapping her with the sheets. She just laughs again, before the two of you quiet down and focus on your search. You notice Caitlyn's hesitance after a while and you give her a questioning look. "How's that going by the way?" she asks softly, making you intensify your confused look. She smiles shyly. "The… sex? C'mon girl spill. I mean, I know Shane is far from being perfect but he's a freaking Grey brother. He has to be good." She says with burning curiosity in her eyes.

Back in camp, it was not hard for you to divulge after she found out, but now? It just makes you uncomfortable. "Caitlyn!" you scoff, your cheeks brightening as you look around you. Thankfully the store was mostly empty. "Jesus." You sigh as you laugh nervously and she smirks.

"That good, huh?" she pokes your side, making you slap her hand away. The smile on your face slowly drops, as you remember the consequences of said act. "Just be careful." She says softly, seemingly distant. You turn to her, frozen, wondering if you should tell her. Her eyes leave your face and go to your stomach. "Unless of course, someone's already in there?" she says with a hint of knowing. You face pales but you do not say anything. "I mean, the new ring you have around your neck, the rumors, the new apartment in the city?" she connects the dots before shrugging. "Plus, Nate told me." She smiles.

You groan. "I hate that boy!" you roll your eyes, looking down. You do not know what to say. You do not know if she is going to explode at you or be supportive or disappointed.

She laughs. "He's quite a character." She throws out, shaking her head. "But anyways, me and him have decided that we are the kid's godparents - for better or for worst, and can I see the goddamn ring already? I have been waiting all day for you to bring it up, but shit! I need to take things into my own hands apparently." She says, putting her hand out expectantly while giving you a big smile. You grin back, still slightly ashamed and scared, but all she does is pull you in a hug. "Oh, c'mon, Mitchie. I'm here for you. I'm here to periodically babysit and cook Mac 'n Cheese when you're craving it and help you chose tacky bed sheets for your brand new apartment." She tells you.

You hug her back, tears going to your eyes. "You have no idea what that means to me, Caitlyn." You whisper. She just smiles again before stepping back and putting out her hand.

"Ring, por favor." Laughing, you take off your necklace that has both Shane's purity ring and your engagement ring on it. You never wanted to take it off your ring finger, but unfortunately you know it would only kill your mother with suspicion. "Wow." Caitlyn breathe out gently. "This is beautiful, babes. He has good taste." She says sincerely before handing you back the ring. Smiling, you re-hook it as she groans. "So, why can't he pick the sheets?" she asks as she holds up a set with donkey patches sewed on. Shaking your head, you say the first thing that comes to mind.

"Because he is a boy." You joke, as you go back to searching.

Two hours later, you have sheets, a comforter, and random accessories to decorate the room. Shane bought all the big furniture and he almost sent someone to design the interior, but you figured it would be nicer if it was handpicked by you. When you get to New York, you shiver in the cold air, nudging through the loads of people the holidays always seem to bring. "Taxi!" Caitlyn yells, lifting her arm and hailing one right away. Once you get inside, you put down your bags down, ignoring Caitlyn and the cab driver as she told him the address you had scribbled down.

You cannot believe you have an apartment.

"Hey. What time is it?" Caitlyn suddenly asks you when she sees the cab's radio doesn't say it. You snap your head at her before looking through your pockets for your phone.

"Shit." You mutter under your breath and she gives you a startled look. "I forgot my phone at home. Sorry." You say, sighing and giving up. Caitlyn snickers at you before turning away. The rest of the ride is quiet, both of you tired from so much walking and the train to get here. When you finally get there, you hand some money over to the cabbie before going back into the blistering cold. "Home sweet home." You whisper, looking at the tall building before turning back to Caitlyn. "What floor did I write?" you ask as the two of you walk quickly to get inside.

"Um, top." She reads and you nod, breathing out in relief when you reach the elevator. The two of you wait patiently for the machine, but when you get inside memories start to attack you of back when you had just come to California for the first time. You were scared and hurt and guilty, so you gave yourself easily to him in the end.

The way he touched you. The way he held you. The way he taunted you. The way he knew how to make you scream.

The way he made you ashamed of yourself.

It's so incredible how different it is now.

--

When you get home after decorating and buying groceries and such for the apartment, all you want to do is go to your bed and crash. You freeze when you see your door ajar but eventually walk quickly and push it open. There, on your bed, is your mother with your phone, a shoebox with the medical papers usually hidden under the bed and the three pregnancy tests you took after Shane called you and told you the doctor's mistake next to her. She looks up with you with teary eyes as your heart starts beating loudly in your chest. You let your purse fall to the ground. "Mom…" you breathe out, tears rushing to your eyes.

"I was cleaning your room when you got a text from Shane. Do you want me to read it?" is all she says in a low whisper. You open your mouth to say something, but no noise comes out. This isn't right. Shane should have been here. You are too scared and nervous to do it by yourself. This seriously cannot be happening. She looks down at the phone. "Hey, love. Wanted to know what time the appointment is. Do you want to find out the sex?" she reads before looking up with tears falling. "What could that mean, Mitchie? Hmm?" she plays dumb, obviously mad.

"Mom." You repeat again, but she shakes her head. Suddenly she is rifling through your papers.

"Is this why you left so quickly after Sierra's death? Because you found out you were preg…" she trails off, her voice choking. You bite your lip as tears sting your eyes, before going to sit down on the bed as well, completely overwhelmed. "God, I'm so stupid. I know you have been out of it lately but I figured that's just because you're not with Shane. I should have known this was going on." She laments, sobbing.

You put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Mom. I swear, it is. Shane will be there for me. And I have Nate and Caitlyn. I mean, I'm homeschooled anyways so it's not like I'm going to miss school. And - and if I ever want to go to college, I can have someone watching him. I mean, it's going to be hard, but…" you run out of air. "We'll make do. I promise." You hiccup, looking at her with scared eyes.

She puts a hand to her face. "See, this is why I didn't want you dating that boy. He is older than you - much more experienced and completely messed up. I knew. I just knew this would happen." She continues sadly and you shake your head.

"It's not like that Mom." You argue softly. "Shane loves me. I love him. I know that seems naïve and stupid to you, but it's true. I'm sorry you found out the way you did. I really did mean to tell you. I just… I don't want to leave home." You choke out, the real reason coming out. She looks at you strangely. "I mean that's what's going to happen, isn't it? You are going to tell me that you are fed up with me and my mistakes. That if I think I'm an adult then I should go out and be an adult. To leave home and start my own life with him. I don't want to go." You are crying, trying to wipe your eyes while looking at her.

Her eyebrows lower and suddenly she is pulling you in a hug. "Honey, I will love you forever. Don't you dare ever think I'm not here for you. Maybe you have Caitlyn and Nate and Shane now, but the one person that will be there for you forever is your mother. Don't forget that, Mitchie." She continues to hold you before kissing you on the top of your head.

"I'm scared, Mom." You admit, crying into her chest. "What if I'm not good enough for this? What if I suck as a mom? What if Shane doesn't want me anymore? What if it all goes to hell? What do I do, Mom?" you start sputtering out, all your insecurities coming to surface. She doesn't answer you but only holds you tighter to her chest. That's how you stay for a long time - in your mother's embrace. You didn't realize how much you missed her until this moment. Before Camp Rock, before Shane, before everything, she was your best friend. She was always there for you, and you just remembered how much you have missed that. "I'm sorry, Mom." You whisper.

She kisses your forehead. "I'm sorry I went through your things. I shouldn't have, but I was so worried. You should have told me, honey. The moment you found out. This is not something I can ground you for and then all will be eventually forgotten. This is your life you are messing with now. You will have to be an adult. You will have to take responsibility, but that does not mean I'm going to abandon you. You are my daughter and I love you. There is always a room for you at my house. I love you and this baby… will be loved by me as well. Don't think otherwise." She tells you, whispering against your hair.

You nod and hug her tighter. "Thank you." You say sincerely.

--

"So, she knows?" Shane asks as you try to put the car in drive. He holds on to the steering wheel harshly, but looks at you gently. You nod at him distractedly, as you try to move forward. A panicked look goes on his face when the car jerks forward. "Should I be teaching you how to drive when you're pregnant?" he asks, half kidding, half serious. You look at him, and he freaks out and grabs the wheel again. "Eyes. Road." He orders with a glare.

You roll your eyes and do as he says. "It's almost the end of the year." You whine, while biting your lip. "I should know how." You explain with a shrug as you drive around your empty block. He huffs but doesn't say anything. "And yeah, she knows. She found out by your text. Thanks by the way, asshole." You say sarcastically. He frowns at you.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to know when the appointment was for today." He mumbles and you shrug.

"Whatever." You tell him, as you put your hands on ten and two. "Like this?" you ask and he nods, still tense. "Okay. Go faster?" you say when a car speeds past you. He quickly shakes his head, his eyes wide. You roll your eyes again. "I do have my permit thank you very much. I have driven before. Just not in a while." You tell him, as you drive a little faster. You are thankful the doctor's office is so close to your house, because you are pretty sure Shane would not let you drive otherwise.

"Yeah, okay." He says in a groan. "Just don't kill me, please or a bunch of little viscous little twelve year olds will kill you." He says, wincing as you take a sharp turn. You smirk but slow down the car. "Can I drive?" he whines again, but you shake your head at him.

"We're almost there." You answer as you get on the street the office is at. "So, do you want to find out today or not?" you ask him as you pull into the parking lot. He gives you a confused yet relieved look as you park the car. Rolling your eyes, you turn off your mother's car. "The sex. Do you want to find out?" you explain and he parts his mouth.

Shane breathes out slowly. "I don't know. Maybe we should wait?" He asks and you shrug, biting the inside of your cheek. "Or find out now? We could get everything for the baby now. It would be easier." He taps his fingers on dashboard, giving you a confused look again. "We can decorate the baby's room with the appropriate colors." He continues as the two of you leave the car.

You bite the inside of you lip as you push the door open. "True." You say hesitantly as you go in the office. You give the lady a smile. "Hey, Michelle Torres, please?" you say, as Shane comes behind you and puts his hands on your hips. "I'm here for a pregnancy checkup." You tell her and she nods with a small grin, as she checks you in before pointing to the waiting room.

You sit down in one of the couches, so Shane can wrap his arm around you and hold you close. "So how was California? Any work done?" you ask, leaning your head against his chest. He laughs sarcastically.

"Sort of, if you count waking up at three am three days in a row to record, write, and film until ten at night work, then sure. I've been working." He complains, rolling his eyes. You give him a sympathetic look, before rubbing his thigh. "And Nate. He is such a little pain in the ass. I swear, one of these days he's going to be a smartass to the wrong person." He continues, sighing softly.

You smile before looking around you. A pretty redhead catches your eyes, and in a second, you know you know her from somewhere. "Oh, God." You blurt out as you lock eyes with her, and Shane chuckles, not noticing the woman.

"I know right. Poor Nate will get his ass kicked. I'm counting down the days." He jokes, looking at you. He sees your pale face and frowns, before glancing where you are. Immediately his face hardens and he pulls you closer to him protectively. The redhead bites her lip before getting out of her chair and slowly making her way towards you. Putting a hand on Shane's chest to stop him from jumping up, you turn to the woman just as she sits down next to you.

"Hello." She whispers, her voice sounding like a song. "You're pregnant?"

She is beautiful - with long red hair, bright green eyes and a nice complexion - but you know she is fake. You just know it. "Get away from me." You say as coldly as you can, and she visibly flinches. Anger burns through you as she shuffles in her seat, before giving you a small smile.

"Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot, but-" she starts, but you cut her off.

"Got off on the wrong foot!" you snap coldly, your eyes narrowing. Shane grips you tightly, pursing his lips. "Yeah, I guess that happened when you fucked my father behind my mother's back. Or how about when you came to my house - into _my _house, into my mother's house - you whore. Get the hell away from me." You say again, wanting to tear her limb from limb. She breathes in before nodding, just as the nurse walks in.

"Michelle Torres. We're ready for you." She says as you and Shane jump up and leave the redheaded girl.

--

"So, I guess we'll find out the sex at the next appointment." Shane says shakily as you fume in the passenger seat. He clears his throat. "It was a good idea not to find out today. It would have just been…too much for one day, but whatever. We still have months. That little sucker's not coming out for a while." He jokes as he takes his hand of the steering wheel and puts in on your stomach. You don't even turn to him; you just huff and stare out the window.

"What a bitch." You snap. "I cannot believe she would have the balls to come over to us. Who the hell does she think she is? That whore." You complain angrily. Shane sighs and lowers his hand to your thigh before rubbing it comfortingly. "And Jesus, Shane. Now that she knows, she is going to tell my father and there's a damn rollercoaster ride I was hoping I didn't ever have to get on. Fuck my life." You groan, tears suddenly coming to your eyes.

Shane squeezes your knee. "Hey! Hey!" he shakes it, making you look at him. He alternates between you and the road. "Don't let that girl ruin your happiness. If your father comes… well, maybe I can sic my father on him and they can duel it out for Father of The Year. Just don't worry because I'll be there for you." He says softly, pulling into your driveway. "I love you, Mitch. That's all that matters." He tells you as he parks the car. You nod but anger still swells inside of you. He gives you a sad smile before jumping out the car and helping you get out.

When the two of you get inside, you are surprised to see Caitlyn and your mother on the floor, going through packages with stuff all around them.

Along with a curly haired boy.

You turn to Shane and he sighs. "Didn't I mention the bugger came with me?" he whines. "See, sympathize for me. My life is so difficult." He says, pouting.

"Oh, shut it Shane, before I start telling some stories." Nate argues from the floor, as he pushes a bag over to Caitlyn. She smiles at him wickedly.

"There's stories. What kind of stories? Naked in a bathtub with a rubber ducky in the shot kind of stories?" she asks evilly, as she starts laughing. Nate just smirks as Shane sighs again. The two of you move closer, shutting the door behind you. You turn to your quiet mother as she rifles through some bags.

"What's going on?" you ask softly.

Your mother looks up at you. "Mitchie." She acknowledges you, before turning her eyes to Shane. She gives a _mom_ glare before closing her eyes and breathing in. "Shane." She eventually says, before turning to the closest bag. She pulls out a small little yellow shirt with a balloon on it. "We might have gone shopping." She admits, holding the small clothes up. Caitlyn and Nate laugh, giving each other a glance.

"This isn't even the start of it. There's still more bags in the car." Nate tells you, smirking. You and Shane look at one another before giving them strange looks. "We wanted to do something nice." He say, shrugging as the two other women agreed. Your mother turns to you, pointing the sofa.

"Now, sit down and tells us about the ultrasound. Is it a boy or a girl?" she asks with a smile.

**XXX**

**Okay - this chapter kicked my ass. I was having such writer's block and ahh. But I hope you like it because I had two versions planned out. Hopefully, I picked the right one. So, that last question is pretty legit right now. What do you guys want - A boy or a girl? There is a poll up now on my profile.**

**So, here's the deal. I have a schedule and all about when to post chapters, and I will try to follow it. just know today - Wednesday the 26****th**** - is my last day as a kid. I'm going off to college tomorrow and I'm super nervous. Please pray for me haha.**

**Hope you liked this chapter once again.**

**And always to Sabrina and to all my friends - u know who you are - thank you. **

**Love,**

**Sandy **

**PS- next chapter at 1300. Thanks.**

**PSS - Redheaded woman might be important… XD**


	38. Chapter 38

"**Hoping that I might forget her and her bad taste that she left when she was leaving me a life of barely breathing as she walked out of this place." If You Wanted a Song Written About You All You Had To Do Was Ask - Mayday Parade**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 38

You look at her from a distance, your eyes never leaving her. She is thinner than you last saw her, albeit you never really talked to her before that one day. Her hair is not as silky and smooth as it used to be, but is now just messy and limp. Her makeup is light but wrong somehow, as if she barely paid attention to it when she did it but knew she had to. You can tell from where you are watching her that is she paranoid; she keeps looking around her, noticing every person that walks by. You see when she catches another girl's eyes you do know and remember being in room as well. "Hey, Rachel." The other girl says, stopping as the first girl turns away from her rather abruptly.

"Lindsey, get away from me." The brunette snaps, but her voice is shaky - nowhere as tough and intimidating as it was when she cornered you in that room so many months ago. You protectively lower your hand to your stomach, before pressing yourself harder against the wall when Lindsey looks around her.

"She's here today, Rach." she says softly.

You realize after a while Lindsey was one of the girls who didn't seem very into hitting you after realizing that it actually hurt you. You watch Rachel's back tense as she sucks in her breath deeply, before angrily turning around to face her. "Shut the fuck up, Linds. What the fuck is wrong with you?" she says sharply, and Lindsey gulps. "Look as far as I know, they didn't press charges, and her bruises are gone. So it's not like she can just come back and say something." Rachel continues, shaking her head so that her crinkly hair flies everywhere. "Now, get the fuck away from me, Lindsey. Don't you realize I don't want you around? I told you to leave me alone." You see hurt flash through the blonde's eyes as Rachel closes her locker loudly.

Lindsey shakes her head. "I didn't do anything to you. All of a sudden you are snapping at me and throwing accusations. Everything was fine, but you're the one who decided that you was right - without even talking to anyone. You were the one who decided to hurt her. Well, guess what we all did. We as a team. So what if I'm closer friends with Ollie. You had no right trying to split us up." She yells and Rachel scoffs.

"Oh please. You basically abandoned me. You want to be with her, be friends with her, but don't expect us to still be friends. And for the last fucking time, don't mention what happened." She hisses under her breath, looking around again. "Just stay the fuck away from me." She pushes Lindsey who promptly grabs a locker to steady herself. She narrows her eyes before clicking her tongue at Rachel.

"You know what? I'm glad you became a little jealous wannabe because it made me realize what a huge bitch you are. You want me out of your life - get out of mine. I allowed you to join the cheerleading team, but now? I kinda just want you gone, so stop talking about me, waving your pompom and get the fuck out of my face. I tried, but now, I just want you gone. I hope you end up all alone, Rachel." Lindsey spits out. You are so focused on them that you hardly notice someone come up behind you, so when they tap your shoulder, you jump and put your hand to your heart.

"Jesus! Nate! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" you snap, panting slightly. The curly haired boy smirks and shakes his head, before looking over to where the two girls were still glaring at you. You both watch Lindsey stalk away from Rachel quickly, almost hitting her.

"Well, Nighthawk, I thought we were just getting some forms from the main office, but are we spying? Want me to get some binoculars? Or I can call Large Bob to stick him on them? I want my nickname to be Bond - after James. " he says sarcastically, as he pushes his hat harder on his curly locks. A girl gives him a look as he blushes and looks away. You chuckle dryly.

You're glad Nate came with you at the last minute. Both Shane and Nate are here in New Jersey as they had some business in the city, and Shane was supposed to come with you to receive some forms from the main office your homeschooling asked for. Unfortunately, Shane got a fever and started sneezing like crazy, and you made him stay home in your bed to rest. You almost went by yourself, until you remembered the last time you entered John Adams High School, Rachel Douglas came into your life rather forcibly. You definitely did not want the same thing happening this time - especially now with the baby.

You take your hand off your stomach and face Nate. "What's wrong?" he asks immediately, his eyes widening at the anger and tears in your eyes.

"That's the girl." You whisper hoarsely, before nodding over to the brunette. Nate lowers his eyebrows before the realization came onto his features. His eyes were suddenly burning as he pushes himself away from you. "Nate." You hiss, trying to grab his arm, but the boy is too quick for you. "Fuck." You mutter, not knowing whether to go forward or stay hidden.

"Hey!" he calls out as Rachel starts to leave. She turns around, her brown hair hitting her face. Her eyes widen exponentially as realizes it is Nate Grey and her books slip from her grasp. Her mouth parts widely and she gives a mini scream.

"Ohmygod!" she says all in one breath. You wince from where you are, but continue to watch as Nate finally reaches her. His shoulders are so still and you can only imagine the anger that is probably written on his face. "You are Nate Grey! You are Nate Grey! This is so insane. I'm your biggest fan ever. I have loved you guys since you were young. I have all my walls plaster with your face. I love you." She continues to freak out, her attitude a 180 from how she was before. You expected her to fade away to even stop talking with the face you assume Nate has on, but instead she continues giving this bright smile.

"Aw that's so adorable." He answers sugary sweet. "It's always great having such amazing fans." He says, as her face lights up even more. She immediately takes out her phone and kind of jerks it at him without a word. "You want a picture?" he asks, but before she can respond, he takes the phone. He puts it in camera mode before turning to be side by side with her, so that they are both facing you. You watch Rachel giggle before facing forward. As soon as her eyes rest on you, her face pales extremely fast and her eyes widen. You watch as Nate lowers his head to her ear.

He whispers something and you watch her face scrunch up in pain or hurt or something, but the grin never leaves his lips. "Smile." He orders with a light voice as he takes the picture. She instantly gets out from under his hold and wraps her arms around herself consciously, as he smirks and leaves without another word. "Ready, Nighthawk? We still need to get chicken soup for Shane and buy dog food." He says when he reaches you, but you are looking past him. You are looking at her. Her eyes are wide and she looks like she is about to run away, but you step forward.

"Hey, Rachel." You call out, surprising yourself with the loudness of your voice. You have never spoken her name out loud before ever. It felt wrong in a way. She turns around to you and fakes an evil smirk, but it is faulty.

"What, Torres?" she says, trying to be intimidating. You don't know whether it's because Nate is there or what, but you feel more confident than you ever have.

"Just wanted to ask how you have been." You shrug with a small fake smile. Rachel blinks at you before shrugging like she doesn't care. Her eyes go back to Nate and she visibly flinches, before turning back at you. "I've been great." You continue. "See, me and Shane - we're happy. I love him, but a lot of girls do. I do believe you do too, so I think you just lied to Nate when you said he was on your walls." You say before turning to Nate and ruffling his hair. "Sorry about that." You tell him with a smirk as he rolls his eyes and fixes his hair again. Turning back to Rachel, you give her a wider smile. "But how have you been? Has the guilt completely eaten you yet? Have you realized yet that you are a criminal and that you hurt a human being? Have you realized that the boy you are in love with loves me? Have you realized that the boy you are in love with _hates_ you?" you spit out although the smile never leaves your face.

She gets defensive and laughs, but doesn't say anything.

"What? What's wrong?" you ask with fake sympathy. "Aren't so tough without a bunch of girls? Why don't you try something again? What? Are you scared? Don't have Lindsey this time?" you taunt, all the anger you have ever felt about her since she hit you coming back. You have had months to come to terms with it and now, it's coming out in tenfold.

She suddenly glares at you and steps forward. Instantly, Nate moves forward. "I dare you to lay a hand on her, and I swear to God, I will get you arrested and charged so horribly, not even the best lawyer you can afford will help you. Go ahead. I dare you." He says with such sharpness, it almost seems like a father is talking to a child. You purse your lips and give Rachel another look, along with a shrug. She bites her lip, her eyes somewhat dead, as she shakes her head and turns around to leave.

"Bye, Rach. If you thought you were hurting me, you have a lot to learn. You just brought me closer to Shane, so thank you." You wave at her with a smirk, before turning around. Nate still has his eyes dead set on her, looking like he will kill her when you leave. You quickly take his hand and pull him out the front doors, leaving your high school memories behind you with a smile.

XXX

"So what did you tell her?" you ask curiously. Nate gives you a strange look as you push around a couple cans of soup, trying to find the perfect one. "Rachel. You whispered something before taking the picture." You explain further. He rolls his eyes at her name, before pushing the cart forward slightly.

"I told her that I know what she did and that I will never care for her. I also told her that I don't appreciate her as a fan. That in the end, I just think she is a low life bitch that does not deserve to call herself a Connect Three fan." He says nonchalantly before picking up two cans. "Campbell's or Progresso?" he holds up, lowering his eyebrow. You sigh and grab the Progresso from him.

"Why did Shane have to get sick? We were totally fine and then all of a sudden! Boom! Sick with a fever. Too bad my mom's still ignoring him. I guess I have to take care of him." You sigh as you dump the soups in the cart. Nate laughs and shakes his head, before pointing at your stomach.

"Um, sweetie? You're going to be a mommy, remember?" he teases in a low voice. You roll your eyes and continue to push the cart. Nate just laughs again. "Hey, Shane is probably going to be sleeping the night away. Wanna catch a movie later on HBO? We can watch some scary movie with wannabe teen queens that sleep around with the hotties and have a murderer in the house calling. " he sings with a smile. You roll your eyes and smile, but shake your head in the end.

"I want to take care of Shane. You're right. It will be a form of practice." You say as you push the cart over to the register. Nate suddenly laughs.

You look at him strangely. "You realize you just compared Shane to a baby. It's about the truest thing you have ever spoken before in your life." He jokes, making you shake your head disapprovingly albeit with a smile. The two of you eventually get back to your mother's car she let you borrow and he drives back home. As soon as you get inside, you shoot Nate a wave and race upstairs.

You push open your door softly, light seeping in the dark room. You quickly close the door behind you, but the damage was done - Shane stirs a bit, cracking open his eyes forcefully. He moans softly and turns around, his grasp tightening around the covers. "Hey, baby." You whisper, climbing onto the bed carefully as you kick off your shoes. You immediately put your hand on his forehead, only to hiss under your breath. "You're supposed to be getting better, Shay. Not worst." You groan with a frown. He squirms and coughs, before pushing his head in the pillow. "Come on, love." You say, putting your hands under his biceps. "You need to take a shower."

"Leave me alone." He argues in a whine. You shake your head, helping him stand up as he continues to whimper. "I don't feel well." He says, putting her arm around your shoulders to steady himself. You hiss under his weight but continue to help him to your bathroom. "I don't smell." He keeps arguing, suddenly sniffing himself. You smile and shake your head.

"Your fever is so high, Shane. A cold shower will help bring it down. Trust me." You pat his chest softly as you enter the room. You sit him down on the toilet before turning on the cold water. "Plus, I cannot have you sick. You have to perform in a couple days and you cannot get out of that. Then on Thursday, you go back to L.A. and start filming again. We need you to be okay." You tell him, running your hands through his sweaty hair. He moans and leans forward so he is resting his head on your breasts. You continue to run your hands through his hair and he puts his hand on your stomach.

"Can you come out already?" he asks grumpily. You smile and put your hand over his.

"In four months babe." You remind him as he moans again, dropping his hand abruptly. You sigh and help him take off his shirt. You run your hands over his abs as he stands up, before undoing the string of his pants. Pushing them and his boxers down, they fall quickly as Shane sighs quietly. Suddenly, he is totally naked in front of you. "You know, even when you're sick and pale and slightly out of it, you're still the most beautiful thing ever." You whisper gently, almost to yourself. He just mumbles an agreement, before trying to walk to the shower. You laugh and put your arm around his waist. "Come on." You repeat before allowing him in the tub.

He immediately gasps loudly as the freezing water falls on his skin and he turns to glare at you with cloudy eyes. "Bitch." Is all he says, but the way he says it - whiny and grumpy at the same time - makes you smirk. You put a hand on his back, trying to tell him to stay put, as he shivers against the water.

"Put your head under." You tell him. Again he glares at you, but ultimately does as he is told. He hisses again when the water drenches his hair and body completely. "There you go. Just try a little more and then I'll give you some Tylenol and you can fall back to sleep. I promise." You tell him soothingly. He moans as he turns around to face you, tilting his head.

"Are you staying with me tonight?" he asks softly, his voice hoarse. He looks so uncomfortable and pale that it worries you, but you shrug it off.

"Baby, I'm pregnant." You say with a sigh and a smile. "Unless you want to make me and the baby sick, I'm going to say no. I'll just go on the couch and watch some scary movie Nate wants to see." You tell him as he turns off the water. You take the towel off the handle and wrap it around his body. He immediately clings to it for heat before hugging you. "Shane!" you gasp as he wraps his arms around you, wetting your front completely.

"It's co-ld." His teeth chatter together as he kisses your neck. "But you're pregnant." He reminds himself, suddenly letting go of you. He pouts. "I don't feel well." He repeats, looking a bit helpless. You smile warmly and stick out your hand for him to hold. You lead him back to your room, before helping him in a pair of pants. When he jumps back into bed, you start taking off your own now-wet clothes. He watches you with slightly intense eyes but you can see he is about to fall asleep as he wraps himself with all the covers. "Why are you trying to seduce me?" he asks with a frown.

You roll your eyes and get totally naked except your underwear before slipping on a long shirt and sighing. "Damn. I want to sleep here tonight." You grumble and he pats the bed besides him. You scoff. "Why? So I can't get out of bed either and I have to be rushed to the hospital? No thank you, Grey." You say as you slip into some jeans. You go over to him and kiss his forehead. "I love you. Try to sleep." You tell him before closing the door behind you.

XXX

"So _When a Stranger Calls _or _Saw_?" Nate says as he flips through channels. You squint at him and shake your head. "Neither? Nope. It's going to be one, so better speak your peace now." After you scoff and don't say anything, he smiles. "Fine. _Saw_ it is." He says as turns off the lights and turns up the volume. You groan and shake your head.

"Um, no." you argue but Nate makes a show of sitting on his remote. You pout at him. "You're a jerk." You say, sticking out your tongue. He just shrugs, smirk still in place. As the movie starts up and you grab the popcorn off the counter, you notice Nate is staring at you. "What?" you question as you make yourself comfy.

"Have you found out the sex yet?" he asks looking at you seriously. You shake your head before shrugging. "Do you want to know?" he asks and once again you shrug. "Well, have you and Shane thought of names yet?" he probes further. You sigh and shake your head. Nate groans. "You two suck ass." He mutters, making you laugh.

"We do." You agree as the movie finally starts.

For a while, you can stand it, but after the third time you had to shut your eyes, you feel like throwing up. You are so sickened by the movie you don't even notice Shane making his way grudgingly down the stairs until Nate acknowledges him.

"Hey. What are you doing down here?" you say, grateful for the distraction. You jump off the couch just as he gets to the last step. He still looks pale, but better somehow. He nods over to the kitchen, putting his hand in his pocket as he walks. You follow him as he opens the refrigerator like it was his house. "I hope my mom catches you." You tease as you get closer to him, even though your mother is at work till dawn.

He rolls his eyes, but allows you to put your hand on his forehead. "See, I told you your fever would go down. I don't think you even have one anymore." You tell him with a bright smile. He smirks, obviously better, before leaning down and stealing a kiss.

"Anything exciting happen at school? Meet any of the girls?" his voice is suddenly calculated as he steps away from you. Freezing, you gulp softly and wonder what to say - do you lie? Do you tell the truth? It seems so immature and stupid now to lie to him. In the past, you have seen way too many times when it has backfired on you.

But you don't want him to worry.

You just shrug. "Yeah. It was no big deal. I told her off. Nate called her a low life bitch. We're all good." You say nonchalantly. He lowers his eyebrows, knowing you are not telling the whole story but not saying anything. "Feeling better though?" you ask, changing the subject. He tilts his head, not knowing whether to nod or shake it. You laugh and hug him slightly. "Want me to go to bed with you?" you ask, singing slightly.

He freezes. You can see that he is disappointed you are lying to him, but at the same time, he wants you. "I couldn't sleep after you left." He admits sheepishly. You look at him confused and he blushes slightly. "I miss holding you when I sleep." He says, looking down. You laugh and hug him tighter.

"Aw, you sap." You tease. Suddenly Nate makes a loud noise before cursing. "Nate, you okay in there?" you call out, putting your head on Shane's chest. He smiles and pulls you closer, resting his head on yours. The younger boy grunts before coming in the room. He is staring at his phone like it just murdered his favorite puppy. "You okay?" you mutter as Shane holds you.

Nate looks up, completely horrified. "Alexis just dumped me in a text. Are you fucking kidding me?" he says, kicking the nearest thing to him, which happens to be the bottom of the table. He immediately groans and starts rubbing his foot. "That bitch! What the fuck. I totally gave her that necklace she wanted and everything. I wonder if I can get it back. Maybe I can return it and buy Mom that watch she has been wanting." He starts as he sooths his foot. Your eyes widen but mostly you just hug Shane. "What a bitch. Seriously. I'm freaking Nate Grey. I don't need her. Fucking Alexis Texas. Whore." Nate keeps cursing, suddenly sitting down.

You turn back to look at Shane, who was rolling his eyes. "This happens once every six months." He explains , but you shake your head. You push his head down and kiss him briefly, before wrapping your arms around him.

"I love you." You whisper as you continue to hold him. Nate suddenly stops cursing as his phone vibrates. He opens it with a huff and grows silent, as you and Shane hold each other. "More than anything. I keep realizing how much I need you. It's scary sometimes." You continue as he kisses your forehead.

"Ugh, what a bitch. Now, she's claiming that I am cheating on her."

"I love you too, baby." Shane says, ignoring his younger brother. "More than anything. Come on. Let's go to bed, shall we?" he says, grabbing your hand. You nod at him, passing Nate as he gets another text. "Dude, whatever. She's just a girl - not your soul mate." He says with a roll of his eyes. "She will do absolutely no damage." Nate just looks at him before reading the text out loud.

"_How can you say you are not cheating on me? I heard you were messing around with tons of other girls. I will get you back for this. Don't forget - I know your brother's girlfriend is pregnant." _

**XXX**

**Sandra (C)  
**


	39. Chapter 39

**"How did we get here? I use to know you so well" - Decode - Paramore**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 39

You jolt awake when you hear the door downstairs slam shut and your heart starts beating quickly. You sneak a glance over to Shane, but he is still asleep and slightly sick. You hear someone start to go up the stairs and with every step you get more and more afraid; your mother is not home, as she is working her night shift and Shane is knocked out on NyQuil. When you hear a harsh sound and cursing close to you, you sit up swiftly, palms sweaty with fear. Getting out of the bed with as much bravery as you can muster, you go into the hallway only to see your fiancé's little brother on the floor.

Blood is pouring out of his hand as he confusingly picks at it. When you gasp softly, he looks up bewildered. Your lips part when you see his bloodshot dazed eyes and pale face. "Nate. Are you okay?" you say, relaxing somewhat before going to him. He looks away, the confused look not leaving his eyes as he tries to get up off the floor. "What happened to you?" you ask as you put your hands under his arms to help him stand.

"Nothing." He slurs, his hand shooting out to grab the handrail. You sigh and let him put some weight on you to help him go to the guest room.

"You've been drinking." You say, not even questioning it. "Why, may I ask? Is it because of that bitch?" you roll your eyes as you open the door and help him in. His eyes narrow at you and suddenly you see his face flicker with anger. "Sorry, Alexis." You correct yourself mockingly. He continues to glare at you and you narrow your eyes. "She threatened me - us. I'm not going to bow down to her." You quip before entering the room and going to the bed. You pull back the covers and signal to him to get in. "Who did you even drink with?" you ask, shaking your head.

Nate shakes his head as well, before stepping in and closing the door. He takes off his dog tags and ring, before saying, "I used to live here remember? I have friends. And for your information, I don't care about Alexis that much to drink in her name. She dumps me? Whatever. I'll get a new, better version of her. She threatens you? Whatever. You are going to show soon anyways. I drink because I'm sixteen and I can." He argues with the random anger drunk people always seem to have. You sigh and sit on the bed awkwardly as he rants, but suddenly he is taking off his shirt - slowly, like he is too mad to even do normal activities.

You avert your eyes as he starts to undo his pants. "Okay, I'm going to leave." You mutter uncomfortably. Nate waves you off like he doesn't care if you stay or go as he strips to his boxers and climbs on the bed. You watch him with a smile as he takes the covers and brings them over his head with attitude. "Goodnight, Nate." You say with a laugh, shaking his shoulder softly. He just grunts at you before turning over and immediately snoring.

You shake your head before going back to your room. Looking at Shane, you smile when you see he is literally in the same position his little brother is in. Sighing and knowing you cannot sleep anymore, you go over to your computer and turn it on, wondering if you should check anything. You instantly - out of habit - go to your email and look at the random items from people you do not know, people you do know who had always ignored you, and Facebook announcements. You almost turn off your computer without even opening a page but a name catches your eye.

_Steve Torres added you as a friend on Facebook._

You immediately feel anger run through your body and for a second you do not know what to do. Looking back at the sleeping Shane, you click on the link, watching as the page takes you to your friend requests. You ignore the thousand new ones and focus on the one from your father. You almost press delete but you move your hand over to the message button without another thought. You seriously feel furious that he would go to this path. He should have thought about you earlier - back before he was cheating on your mother and treating you horribly - to make amends. He cannot just try to fix things over Facebook of all places.

Your fingers type quickly, hardly thinking about what you are writing. _Who the fuck do you think you are? How dare you? Never contact me again!_ you write as your heart beats quickly. You almost slam the laptop shut but something stops you from doing so. You breathe roughly, just looking at the screen for almost five minutes before you see you got another message. You gulp when you see it is from your father. You do not want to open it and for a while, you just let it be. But curiosity and pain make you open the message.

You read quickly. _How dare you talk that way to your me? I am your father! Who do you think you are? I gave you everything you have ever needed. You are just like you're mother. Stupid and ungrateful. And Amanda tells me you are pregnant? Well, do not think for a second that I am going to support you when that good for nothing leaves you - because he will. That's what happens when girls spread their legs too early - they are left - just you will be, you little whore. I tried to fix things, but if you want to continue to hurt me, go ahead. The least you could do is stop being so stupid._

You stare at the screen for a couple minutes, completely baffled. You feel the anger inside you but you honestly do not even know what to do. You press the reply button as tears start going to your eyes. _Oh, I hurt you? How about all the names you call me? Or when you cheated on mom or when you treated us like crap? Or when you completely ignore my wishes? Did I hurt you then too? Of course, you are the victim. Fuck you. I swear. Don't ever respond to me, or I will report you._ You write back shakily, hitting the enter button angrily. You immediately delete both the emails and the messages on the site before going to see if you can block him.

As you write his name in the blocking list, you feel sick. You feel like throwing something. How dare he take something close to you and hurt you with it? You don't even realize how hard you are crying until you feel a hand on your shoulder. You jump, startled and look up to the sleepy eyes of your lover. "Hey. What's wrong, baby?" he asks, his voice hoarse as he rubs his eye. You don't answer him but instead start crying harder and leaning forward to cry in your hands. He immediately becomes alert. "Hey, what's wrong?" he says worriedly, coming to kneel in front of you. He pulls you into his arms, kissing your forehead softly.

You embrace him hard and cry into his chest, too tired to move. He rubs your arm soothingly. "Hey, I'm here. It's okay." He whispers comfortingly, running his hand in your hair. "Is this about that bitch a.k.a Alexis?" he wonders, trying to make you laugh - almost saying exactly what you said before to Nate. "Because I will deal with her. Our label hates me with a pure passion, but they hate her more. It's just the way it goes. Plus, they worship the little bugger known as Nate. They won't let her say anything. We're going have to tell our manager soon about the baby, but everything will be okay. Alexis cannot do anything, and if she does, I'll let Caitlyn kick her ass." He pokes you side trying to make you smile.

You just push his hand away. "My dad tried to contact me. I cursed him out." You admit, your voice filled with tears.

Shane's face becomes stony. "He called?" he asks briskly, suddenly rubbing your arm again. You shake your head, rolling your eyes at the way your father contacted you.

"Nope." You say, salvia gathering in your mouth. You feel like you're about to throw up. "He fucking messaged me on Facebook. Who does he think he is? Does he think he is my friend or something? That he can just message me and friend me like nothing happened? _'Hey, Dad. Just thought I'd poke you today and I'll send you a bumper sticker tomorrow. It will have a puppy on it.'_" you snap sarcastically, shaking your head angrily. He frowns and pulls you to his chest again. "I hate dads. They are worthless." You say, kicking the leg of your desk.

He freezes. "Hey, now." He says weakly. You look at him, opening your mouth to tell him that his father isn't the best either and why is he offended when you remember. You tense and shake your head.

"Okay, not worthless. You will be worth-ful, but our dads suck." You say, pointing between you and him. He frowns deeper but nods before clearing his throat. He wipes your tears away before taking your hand in his. He guides you to the bed, helping you in before covering you both with the sheets.

"Did you go the bathroom before? You left me." he asks as you hug his chest, wiping your eyes on his shirt. He kisses your neck softly before going to your ear. "Don't let him get you down. You are worth so much more than him. No matter what he says or does, you are better than him. Talk to me about other stuff. Tell me something happy - or rather I can tell you how I'm going to break Alexis's leg accidently on purposeat our next charity concert and blame it on Jason." He teases with a hesitant smile. You nod, trying to tell yourself to stop crying as he hugs you closer.

You stay quiet for a while. "Nate came home drunk." You tell him as you wipe your face again. Shane tenses harshly, looking at you with wide eyes. Immediately you regret saying anything. "I had to help him get to his room." You admit awkwardly, biting your lip. Shane's eyes flash with anger as he sits up.

"Excuse me?" he says furiously, big brother coming out. He doesn't let you respond before getting up off the bed roughly and going to the doorway too quickly for your pregnant body. You groan and slap your hand to your face, before going swiftly to follow him. You hear Shane's voice and wince. "Get the fuck up right now, Nathanial." He orders with a growl. You walk in just as Nate looks at him confused and then flips the middle finger and rolls over. Shane clicks his tongue before taking the covers off him roughly. Nate groans.

"Hey, man. What the fuck, douche?" he complains, running his hand through his curly hair. Shane answers him by turning on the lights, making Nate groan again and put his pillow over his eyes. "Turn them off." He orders weakly as Shane grabs his pillow and throws it to the floor.

"I told you to stop drinking." Shane's voice is dark and low - almost scary.

You lower your eyebrows, as Nate looks away awkwardly, squinting his eyes as if he is in pain. "Shane, c'mon. He's just a kid. Most sixteen year olds do stupid stuff." You tell him, putting your hand on his back. Shane gives you a look that plainly says _stay out of this_. "Shane." You say again, suddenly concerned.

He looks back at Nate. "I don't care if your prissy, bitchy girlfriend dumped your ass. I don't care if you're in love with some other girl and Alexis had every right to kick you to the curb. I don't care, Nathaniel. This is like the fifth time this month you have come home drunk. I will not tolerate it anymore." Shane scolds, his eyes bright with anger. Nate scoffs and you part you lips in surprise.

"You're not my father." Nate comes back with angrily.

Shane laughs mirthlessly. "Speaking of Dad, want me to call him?" he is suddenly shouting. "I'm so done with this bullshit. Ever since you drank at your birthday party, you think that it's okay. I don't care if you are Nate Grey, superstar. You are my little brother and I will not let you go down this path." He screams, hitting Nate's legs violently. You move forward automatically, not sure what to do. Nate scoffs again, but you can see he is scared. "Even if I have to completely beat your ass to get you off. I've been down that road and you know what it brought? Destruction." Shane hisses as his brother just stares at him.

"It was just a few beers." Nate whispers, trying to defend himself. You look at him sympathetically, feeling seriously bad. When Shane scoffs again, Nate looks up with angry eyes. "You think this hasn't been the worst year for me too? Jesus, Shane, Dad might hate you, but I love him and he was in the hospital. You were in the Goddamn hospital. Mitchie's fucking pregnant. Alexis is a bitch. The label is going to freak. You're a moron. I'm halfway depressed because of you fuckers. I mean I love you guys, but Jesus, I'm only one person. I cannot be perfect." He is suddenly crying, sitting awkwardly half naked on the bed.

Shane shakes his head. "That's why you talk to people. Do you want to go the same path I did? Do you want to get to the point where you are dragging the blade across your wrists like I did?" he says, showing the light scars on his wrists. You swallow and look away. "I don't want that for you, Nate. You are the good one. You are the perfect one, and I will be damned if I let you mess up. So get your act together before I hurt you so badly, you won't ever touch another drop of liquor ever again. " Shane threatens with a glare. Then, he is leaving the room, pulling your hand to follow him.

--

"Do you like our apartment?" you ask Shane as he looks at your decorations. He chuckles and nods, bringing you close to hug you to his chest. "Me and Caitlyn worked hard on it." you add and he nods, before laying down on the bed. He sniffs slightly before coughing, making you laugh. "Someone's still sick." You tease him as you climb on the bed as well, poking his stomach.

He rolls his eyes. "I think New York/New Jersey weather is getting to me. What is it? Like thirty degrees? The coldest it gets in California is like seventy." He pouts, making you laugh. Suddenly the bed dips with extra weight, and you both turn to a happy dog that nestles himself in between the two of you. "Hey, puppy." Shane greets him, growling playfully under his breath. You watch as the two engage in a tug of war with a random dog toy BeeKay brought up on the bed, before absentmindedly turning on the television. For a while, nothing is said as Shane plays with the fur-ball and you watch some random teen soap.

You two lay together as the Hot Tunes suddenly starts playing, and you remember back to when you would watch this show just to see Shane and his mess ups. They talk a little about Mikayla, little about that new girl from that one movie, a little of that fame whore, but then they got to Alexis. You tense when you see her face, perfectly surrounded by her perfect hair while her perfect smile shines through. _"And now the story that is blowing up everywhere - did Alexis spill the beans on friend, Shane Grey? Recently, Grey has been photographed with a normal girl, Mitchie Torres. There have been negative photos, cute photos and of course, those with a ring on her hand. Grey's publicist immediately declined that Grey and Torres were romantically linked, much less engaged. But now, Alexis is telling a whole different story. Here is Sabrina Sincate with the popstar."_

Both you and Shane watch the TV without even talking. You know whatever "beans" Alexis spilt, it will be big. _"Well, I was talking to Shane the other day about maybe collaborating again. I mean they are a very sweet family - from Nate to Jason to his fiancée. I had a lot of fun Christmas Eve with Mitchie. She's a sweet girl."_ Alexis says before it is cut back to the original reporter. _"When Sabrina tried to ask Miss Texas about the so-called fiancée, it seems Alexis remembered she could not talk about it and would not answer questions. Many people have shown public outrage. From the tweens who love Shane to just regular parents, no one is taking it lightly." _

The camera goes to some random parent. "_The girl is what? Sixteen? And him? Eighteen? They are too young. What kind of example are they setting? My kid looks up to this boy and I used to think highly of him. He had the purity ring and he was a good kid, but then suddenly, he is messing around with this girl. Don't they realize teenage relationships never work? The divorce rate is high already without adding two dumb children into the mix. And her parents! How they could allow this is beyond me. Maybe they just want his money, but in any case, I don't like it."_ the woman says as if she has the authority to say so.

Suddenly, you are reaching for the remote and turning off the TV. You feel sick again, like you had the day before when Shane yelled at Nate. You put your head in your hands, completely tense, but Shane immediately comes to you and rubs your shoulders. "Don't listen to them, Mitchie. Don't let 'em get inside of your head." He says, kissing your forehead. You nod, trying to control the tears coming up. You really just do not feel well. You feel horrible - like you are about to throw up.

"We need to tell my mom about the engagement. Oh, God. We have to tell your parents about the baby. Christ, this is too much." You says, pulling at your hair. He rubs your shoulders hard.

"Hey. Calm down. What's the worst that can happen? They yell at us? We'll be okay." He tells you before kissing you on your cheek and pulling you close. You wipe your eyes again and just nod, as he rubs your arms. "Come on. Let's go out for ice cream." He says with sudden enthusiasm. He gives you a wide smile and you eventually nod, petting BeeKay before getting off the bed. Silently, the two of you make it downstairs and out of the building. "Or we can get coffee since it's like two degrees." Shane groans, wrapping his arms around his body. You give him a small fake smile before looking away.

That's when it happens.

The two of you are completely ambushed by photographers in every direction. Shane immediately steps in front of you, protecting you but you still see the flashes. _"_Is this the girl you lost your virginity to?" someone yells out, and the others snicker.

"Are you engaged?"

"How far along are you?"

"Shane, is it true you have reconnected with Norah Jacobs? How long has it been since you last talked with her? Do you still love her?"

Question keep getting thrown out, making your head spin so hard, but Shane does not answer a single one. You try to move but the lights are blinding and confusing. You feel sick again and you can feel tears come to your eyes. They keep asking questions, but eventually everything becomes a blur. You try to follow Shane but it's like he is a million miles away , not a few inches. Black spots start coming in front of your eyes, but you try hard to focus.

But you just can't.

You don't even realize you are fainting as you do.

**XXX**

**Sandy (c)**


	40. Chapter 40

"**Soak up some lazy days. No one can rain on our parade. Standing here beneath the shade of our love." Lazy Days - Leona Naess **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 40

"Hey, stay in bed." Shane says to you with a smile as you squirm to sit up. He puts the tray he is carrying on the night table rather quickly in order to help you up on the bed. It has been a couple months since you fainted and ever since, Shane has put so much more attention on you. He should be in California doing something or another, but instead he is taking time off with you in New York and New Jersey. Your mother has allowed the both of you to travel into the city - albeit the harsh wintery weather- and stay the weekend in your apartment. "I made you breakfast." Shane sings with a big smile as sits down next to you in bed.

You pout at him. "I should have made breakfast. If we're playing house, I fail." You say as he puts the tray over your round stomach and rolls his eyes.

"Whatever." He waves you off before grabbing the spoon off the tray. He positions himself better before taking a small spoonful of oatmeal and bringing it to your mouth. He nudges you when all you do is roll your eyes at him, and eventually you part your lips and let him feed you. "How are you feeling?" he asks you as he gives you another spoonful. You swallow before nodding, shrugging slightly.

"Tired. I had to do that paper for Mom yesterday before I picked you up from the airport." Suddenly, your face breaks out into a smile. "I'm getting better at driving." You say happily, making him roll his eyes and playfully shudder before giving you another bite. "Oh come on - I even turned at the speed limit." You say like it's a big accomplishment, making him laugh again. He goes to give you another taste but you scrunch up your nose and shake your head. "I'm full." You say, patting your growing belly. "We ate such a big dinner last night." You remind him and he nods, shaking his head side to side playfully. "Plus, you know what I want?" your eyes bright again. "Cottage cheese!" you tell him and he gives you a strange look.

"Hon…" he trails off awkwardly. "I'm pretty sure we don't have cottage cheese." He says with a tilt of the head. You look at him with the same smile and bright eyes, and you see him squirm. "But I can get some." He continues with a mocking sigh. You giggle and lay back down, Shane immediately helping you once more.

You sigh annoyed at him, but he just gives you another smile. "Okay, I'm going down to the store. If the paps see me, I might come with ripped clothes." He says as walks out, hitting the wall absentmindedly as he walks. "Be back." He sings from as he gets farther away. You grit your teeth as you grab your phone, remembering waking up in the hospital after you blacked out. Apparently all the stress from your parents, Nate, Shane's parents, and then the flashing lights made you lose your lights for a second. Immediately, everyone freaked out and you were rushed to the clinic by Shane.

You were told to take it easy or you might have enough miscarriage, so Shane finally manned up and told his parents. Of course, they didn't take it well; his father practically disowned him which made you sad and stressed again, so Shane just hung up the phone and Jason stepped in and took over. "Hey." You say cheerfully, trying to forget your anger. "It's Mitchie." You sing, as you move the phone closer to your ear.

"Oh, hey, Mitch." Your new unofficial big brother sings as well, mocking you. Rolling your eyes, you look out your window and see that is snowing.

You groan. "Aw, Jase. I just sent Shane out in the snow to buy me cottage cheese. Whoops." You say, but you know you will not call him to return home. You really want cottage cheese. You hear Jason laugh and you smile. He did so much for the both of you, but so did Nate. The three brothers pulled away from their intense and harsh record label, and against everyone's wishes and recommendations, started their own record label - sans Dad-ager. Jason is now the main producer as well as the guitarist and Nate - even though is only sixteen - pulls his weight as well.

And Shane?

He stays with you when he can - now that he doesn't have to sell his soul every day.

The best part? The fans have understood. Ironically, ever since your fainting and the coming to light that you are indeed pregnant, while some fans left Shane and the band for their quote unquote slutty ways and lies, many more just appreciated Shane's honesty. After all, many more fans realize he is just a human; he makes mistakes and while you don't like to think you are a mistake - they understand and have stood by him, as you have. "Wow, Mitchie. You're a jerk." Jason teases before yawning. "It's so sunny over here. I'm just laying on the beach." He brags - at least that's how it seems to you.

You growl playfully. "Ass. I have to deal with cold and winter and snow, but it's okay. Wanna know why? Because I'll have cottage cheese soon and that makes me very happy." You say with a grin and Jason laughs again. Looking out the window again, you get a random bout of seriousness and sadness. The snow is so beautiful; you just feel so small. "I'm glad we talk more now Jason." You say, trying to sit up again.

"I agree, sweetie. We didn't really know each other - I didn't know you at all; how could we talk? But now? I'm glad you and I connected at the hospital and with the label crap. You're a great girl - and plus, I'm vying to be the best man." He jokes, making you scoff and shake your head.

"Just as long as it isn't Nate. I swear, he calls me every five seconds. I'm glad he and Alexis broke up. He didn't deserve that bitch - especially after she tried to get with him at the Teen Choice Awards. Idiot." You mutter under your breath while rolling your eyes. "But anyways," you say, lighting up again. "I'm entering my sixth month. I'm getting so big." You tell him as you rub your stomach softly. Suddenly, Jason laughs loudly.

"And you have to be the only girl to like that, you freak." He makes fun of you, making you gasp teasingly.

"Fuck you, Jay." You say with a smile. "It means the baby is going to be healthy. I want a healthy baby Grey. It's not good if he or she stays four pounds." You say as if you were teaching him. Suddenly, you hear the front door slam open as someone - presumably Shane - huffs loudly. "Oh, oh. Gotta go. Shay just got here." You say with a smile. "And my cottage cheese!" Jason barely gets a goodbye out before you shut the phone and as quickly as you could jump up to meet Shane. When you meet him, he is shaking all the flaky snow out of his hair as well as taking off his boots.

He takes off his heavy tweed jacket as you dash for the shopping bag in his hand. He scolds at you. "Oh, hey honey. That's for trekking out in the blistering cold in order to get me cottage cheese even though we were all comfy inside." He mocks, his voice high pitched. You just watch him as you take a spoonful of cottage cheese. He narrows his eyes at you just wave him off. "Crazy freak." He mutters under his breath.

You look at him surprised. "Hey!" you exclaim, hitting his shoulder. He immediately puts on an innocent smile.

"Did I tell you look beautiful today?" he says dramatically, putting an arm over your shoulder. You roll your eyes at him and push him away, making him laugh. You eat quietly, totally excited for the cottage cheese, before realizing Shane is just staring at you with a small smile. You lower your eyebrows and give him a forced teasing wide smile and he chuckles. His eyes are so light and easy, and you see how beautiful _he_ looks. His hair is windswept as his cheeks tingle with red, and he looks like a model in his tight clothing and leaning pose. "Seriously." He says after a while. "I think you look perfect right now. I'm dead serious." He says, searching your eyes. "The way your hair falls on your shoulder. The way you smile lately. The happiness that radiates off you. That is beauty, and plus, it give hope that we can do this. We can be parents." He whispers softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. You bite your lip and nod and he comes close to kiss your forehead. "I love you." He mouths against your forehead.

He puts a hand on your stomach, as his lips trail from your forehead to your cheek. "I love you, Shane." You tell him, wrapping your arms as best as you can around him with your protruding belly. His lips move from your cheek to your arm to your stomach, kneeling as he goes down. He kisses your stomach lightly, squeezing your hand.

"I want a girl." He says, almost to himself. He pokes your round stomach gently. "Hey, you in there? Can you be a girl? Although I would love you just as much if you were a boy, I want another little princess." He says and you set down the cottage cheese, almost about to cry. You give him a look but he is too preoccupied talking to the baby. "But you have to be a rockstar like Daddy. None of this book liking business like your Momma." He says with mock seriousness before kissing your stomach again. "Just kidding." He whispers as you run your hand through his hair. "I don't care what you do as long as you are healthy and are a good person. I'm going to be a good father to you, baby. I swear." He closes his eyes as you continue to massage his hair.

When he looks up at you, he lowers his eyebrows worriedly, rubbing your thigh. "I love you, Shane." You repeat and he smiles - albeit still concerned. "I'm just…" you say, wiping away a tear before smiling. "Love you. Is that too sappy to say? Too gushy? Sorry." You say with a laugh. He beams up at you before standing up and taking you in his arms again.

"Come on." He says softly, reaching for your hand. He helps you off the stool and guides you to the small living room. There is a big window that overlooks the city, as the snow calmly falls and flutters away. "It looks so beautiful, doesn't it?" he says, squeezing your hand. "I forgot what it was to come home to snow. I would be at the beach today if I was still in California." He muses absentmindedly.

You snuggle up against him, taking the afghan off the couch and wrapping yourself and Shane in the comfy warmth as you look out the window. "Your brother was there when I called him." You tell him after wiping your face. He rubs your back soothingly, before raising an eyebrow.

"The annoying one with the 'Stang or the annoying one with the man-heels?" he asks, rolling his eyes. You slap him on his chest lightly, feeling the rumble of his body when he lets out a chuckle.

"Jason, thank you very much, was quite awesome. I say a million times more awesome than you, so ha." You gloat happily, poking his nose. He scrunches up his face before turning your head to face him. Suddenly, his lips are on yours as roughly as he allows himself to be with you and kisses you as passionately as he can. You moan, slightly confused, slightly peaked, but kiss him back. You have to work at maintaining his speed and fervor as he hits all the spots that make you tingle inside, and when he pulls away, you are totally breathless and thoughtless. He smirks at you. ""Does Jason know how to make you moan like that?" he says, with a click of his tongue and the biggest grin.

You freeze before letting your mouth open in surprise. The memory hits you so hard.

_He kisses you again, with the same slight pressure that drives you crazy before pulling away. He is barely touching you, yet you can feel him all around you. His cologne is messing with your mind as his warm body steps closer to yours, practically making you sit on the railing. His hand rubs your arm until he is at your fingers, and then pulls your hand up to his lips. His tongue darts out and licks your fingers, before sucking on one like you did before. His teeth nip at the skin, as his eyes never stray away from your eyes. You moan softly as steps closer to you._

_He chuckles._

_Your heart stops momentarily, hearing the sound you haven't heard in such a long time. The smirk on his face is dangerously sexy as he comes closer to you, his lips back at your ear. "Does Jason know how to make you moan like that?" he whispers huskily, his breath sending tingles up your spine. You shiver again, and he smiles against your skin, kissing the skin to the right of your earlobe. You gasp as pleasure surges through you as he softly sucks on the spot, before abruptly stopping._

"Wow." You whisper, shocked. "You did not just refer back to…" you trail off, blushing harshly as he starts laughing. "That. God, Shane. What the fuck?" you are getting so red, but you cannot drop the smile from your face. "You were such a prick back then." You say before tilting your head. "Well, not a prick - maybe just cocky." You roll your eyes when your words make him laugh harder. You push him away or at least try to, but Shane has a tight grasp on you.

"I cannot believe to this day you let me do that to you in an elevator." He says between laughs.

You just look at him. His cheeks are still rosy from the cold and laughing. His hair is messy and his eyes are bright. Things have changed so much since that day. It was the day after going to the hospital when Shane tried to commit suicide, and you think you felt so guilty, if he told you to kill someone, you might've.

Instead of telling him so, you huff. "I cannot believe to this day you thought you had to compete with your brothers for my attention." You say back, poking him in the chest. Your voice is even, but he catches the emotion behind it. His face is still lit up - so beautiful, so peaceful.

"They knew more about you than I did. I mean I knew…_you_." He says with a smug smirk as he traces your sides. "But I didn't know who you were outside the stuff I learned in bed." He says truthfully. "I was jealous they did. I was jealous you had almost never talked to Jason before and he knew stuff I didn't. I was just too caught up in me, in being selfish, that I didn't even think to actually care and love for the person I adore. It was a big eye opener after you found the stuff…" he clears his throat uncomfortably, still embarrassed. "…in my room. From that moment, I knew I couldn't just mess around. I was with someone and I love her." He finishes as he lays his head on top of yours.

You just smile and go back to watching the snow.

--

"So, since it's snowing - want to watch a movie?" he asks, bouncing in the room. You marvel at how different he has become in the past couple months. Free of all the pressure his old label put on him and free of all the pressure his dad hammered on him, he is just that - free. He seems like a different person. He is more alive, more spiritual, more content.

You nod at him, digging your feet in the warm afghan. "Can you make hot cocoa or tea or coffee or soup?" you ask him, making him stop dead in his tracks. He gives you a confused look. "Or all of them? Thanks." You call out with a smile, blowing him a kiss. He pauses and scoffs slightly, still bewildered.

"How about I make one, then if you're hungry or thirsty I make another?" he suggests as he goes to the DVD player and puts in the movie. You raise an eyebrow at him just as the phone rings and he sighs. "Or I can make hot chocolate and soup?" he compromises and you smile. He rolls his eyes and leaves you as you open the phone.

"Hello." You say sweetly, realizing you didn't even look at the caller ID.

"I think I just met my dream girl." The voice says over the phone. You raise your eyebrow, but watch Shane as he tries to make the hot chocolate with a smile. He turns to you, nodding at who it is. _The annoying one with the 'Stang,_ you mouth to him and he rolls his eyes. "Listen before you criticize, Nighthawk. She is perfect. I know perfect. I'm surrounded by fake perfect all day, as well as you know me, but she? She is fucking _perfect_." Nate says without even greeting you. It's funny how you are used to it.

"What's her name?" you ask dutifully, as Shane goes to open the soup can.

Nate sighs. "Clara…Clarisse…Clair? It starts with a 'C'." he eventually settles, before continuing quickly. "It doesn't matter. I'll find out. I'm Nate Grey; it won't take me five months to find out Perfect Girl's name. Because Mitchie, she is fucking perfect. Like everything I have ever wanted - light hair with cute smile - and oh my God - her eyes! So pretty. They're like ocean waves. I think I can write like five songs about her and I don't even know her name. I think I'm in love." Nate finally breathes, letting you speak.

You chuckle sardonically. "Hey, Nate? Try going a little faster in this relationship. You're obviously going so slow." You say sarcastically, your face lighting up when the microwave beeps at Shane. He goes to the hot chocolate absentmindedly since he was playing with his phone and burns himself on the cup. _Mother fucker,_ he mouths, putting the finger to his mouth. You suppress a laugh and pout at him sympathetically as he walks slowly to you, nursing his finger. You take the cup from him gratefully, careful not to make the same mistake as you listen to Nate.

"Oh fuck off, Nighthawk. She's insane. Like you wouldn't believe. I think I might marry this girl - but only if she knows at least one of my songs. I cannot deal with another chick who mumbles my lyrics. It's like - no, it's okay. It isn't like I went through that or anything. You can date me for my money. I don't mind it." You know he is rolling his eyes, and you laugh. Shane goes over to the kitchen and starts to prepare the soup wordlessly. "But Mitchie - fucking perfect." He repeats, almost excited.

You laugh. "Yeah. I have one of those perfect people as well." You say, leaning against the couch with a wide smile as Shane puts the pot over the oven.

--

"I like Marie." He says softly as he runs his fingers through your hair. You are currently watching some Christmas movie or another with your head in his lap, practically falling asleep.

You look at him tiredly. "What?" you question, slightly confused. You look at the screen briefly before turning up to look at him. He bites the inside of his lip, before putting a hand on your stomach. You smile up at him and interlace your fingers tenderly, before looking up with sleepy eyes questioningly again.

"Marie. I like that name a lot. For a girl. I like Marie." He explains more thoroughly. You smile at him and snuggle closer to his chest, allowing him to help you move your upper body up by him. "Or Liana? I like that name. Very pretty." He continues in the same gentle voice as he holds you. You put a hand on his cheek before leaning forward and kissing him square on the lips. "Mmm." He moans with a smile before kissing your forehead. He looks out the window absentmindedly. "Wow, it's still snowing. What time is it? It looks like its six in the afternoon, but it cannot be that late." He muses as you bring him close to you.

"Liana is pretty." You agree before clearing your throat. "But, um a boy would not appreciate that one." You tease, making him roll his eyes. You chuckle softly. "Just saying." The two of you quiet down after that, watching the movie again in the warmth the blanket he put over the two for you provide. "Maybe Damien or Adam." You whisper, biting the inside of your lip. Suddenly you sit up excitedly. "I've always loved the name Dominick. I remember when I was five I had a crush on a boy named Dominick until I realized the whole reason I liked him was because he had a cool name." you say nodding, as Shane rolls his eyes.

"Nice." He mocks you, poking your side. You almost wave him off, but something stops you. "What was that?" he immediately asks, looking at you with a mixture fear and shock. You just stare at him, his palm still halfway on your stomach, before closing your eyes and leaning against his chest. He continues to watch your stomach in awe and fear, not moving an inch. When the baby moves again, he or she kicks right by Shane's hand. "Oh, my God." He instantly exclaims, still completely in admiration. You gasp, eyes still closed while trying to remember this day forever.

This is the first time the baby has kicked. While you have felt him or her against your stomach or moving around, the baby has never actually kicked before. "I guess little Grey heard us talking about it." you say gently to him, as he brings down his head to your round abdomen. He breathes out lightly as the baby moves around inside of you. "Wow." You swallow as the feeling overpowers you and Shane gasp gently.

"I cannot believe this." He whispers before looking up at you. "This is amazing." He tells you like you are oblivious to the fact. You feel the tears start to come up again, so you bring his head up to you. Almost like magic, the two of you start kissing again; but instead of a harsh or even fevered kiss, it is a gentle and loving embrace shared by the two of you. He takes you into his arms, careful with your stomach as he continues to kiss you. Suddenly, you gasp and break the kiss when your puppy jumps on the couch, legitimately scaring the hell out of you.

"Hi." You say in a high pitched voice as Shane starts laughing. He pushes the dog by him, earning a loud yelp, but pets him gently. Shane leans his head on your shoulder while BeeKay comes closer to you while maintaining in Shane's reach. "We should go outside." You suddenly say, nudging your fiancé in the ribcage. He groans and shakes his head, trying to lower himself back to your stomach. Instead of letting him, you jump up as swiftly as you can and go to the bedroom. You find your heavy clothes, trading in your shirt for a sweater, your sweatpants for jeans, and your slippers for boots.

Shane comes in awhile later, pulling a hat over his head that he had thrown on the dresser from before. "Where do you want to go?" he asks skeptically, raising his eyebrow. You smile at him, shrugging before buttoning up your winter coat. "You know it's like ten degrees out right? I mean, it's pretty crappy." He reminds you, as takes the scarf off the mantle and wraps it around your neck.

You roll your eyes. "Crappy? Try magical. I thought you were the writer of this Grammy nominated group. At least pretend you can be poetic at times, Grey." You scold him as you try to bend down to put BeeKay' leash and collar, but you are just not able to reach him with your protruding belly. You pout at Shane who promptly takes the material from you and kneels to playfully fight BeeKay in order to fix him with the material. You watch him as he puts on his winter clothes as well with a smile; he is so supportive of you. You don't know whether it is because he is trying to please you so you do not stress more or just because he loves you, but in either case, you are very appreciative of him. "You are such a pretty boy." You say sincerely, but with a hint of teasing.

He rolls his eyes. "Keep making fun and we don't go out," he threatens as BeeKay jumps enthusiastically. You click your tongue before grabbing the leash from his hands and walking past him.

--

"Wow." You breathe out looking around you. Sure it's cold - it's freezing actually, but it looks so amazingly beautiful. The white snow is everywhere - from car tops to trees to the sidewalk. For a busy place like New York City, it surprises you that hardly anyone is outside. Maybe they are scared by the snow, you figure. You watch a few younger kids toss snowballs to each other, laughing and rubbing their hands together after each throw. Shane keeps your hands clasped together as BeeKay sniffs the snow before licking it. You giggle at the puppy before pulling at his leash and continuing walking down the path at Central Park.

"It's so beautiful here." He agrees with you as the kids burst out laughing when one of their friends toppled over. You smirk before nodding at Shane. The two of you stay in silence for a while before he clears his throat and squeezes your hand as you start walking back to your apartment. "Are you scared?" his voice is soft but curious.

You raise your eyebrow. "Of?" you ask as you pull your dog's leash so he wouldn't go far.

"Giving birth." He answers simply. You freeze and look away from him, breathing out lightly. You shrug slightly before tilting your head side to side. "I mean, I will be there. You don't have to worry about that. You know that, right? I mean nothing in the world is going to keep me away from you that last month - not the new label or tour or even the fucking President. I'm will be there and I will not miss that. So you have me. I promise you that, but…" he says fiercely before trailing off. "Are you scared?" he asks again, looking at you.

You bite your lip. "It's supposed to hurt." You say a bit detached, wondering yourself how you feel about that last step. "I mean, I guess I just want everything to go smoothly, but I know a woman's body is meant to give birth. I'm not the first person; I won't be the last. It will be painful, but we get a baby. So it's a pretty good trade." You end with a smile. He laughs and nods, stopping and halting you to stop as well. He looks so stunning with his rosy cheeks and bright eyes as he brings you close to him. He rubs your noses together as cold snowflakes fall on you, before kissing you gently. "We're in public." You mutter against his lips

With a happy smile, he continues to kiss you. "I don't care." He whispers, wrapping his arms around you. "I want them to know. I always said when I found my girl, I would come out and tell people. I would not care about them anymore because I would know in my heart I only love one girl and nothing they could say would change my mind." He tells you, lips against lips lightly before deepening the kiss. "I don't care." He reaffirms his point/

BeeKay nips at your feet but you ignore him as continue to kiss Shane.

Life is amazing.

**XXX**

**Sandra (C) **


	41. Chapter 41

"**When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way home anymore - That's when I look at you." When I Look At You - Miley Cyrus**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 41

"You're leaving tomorrow." You whisper softly, tracing his scruffy jaw before putting your head on his shoulder. Shane frowns at you slightly but doesn't say a word and turns back to watching the television while lying on your bed. Sighing, you turn your attention back to the screen, watching as some girl gets bitten by some guy. "Why is everything about vampires nowadays?" you muse, changing the subject. He rolls his eyes, gasping melodramatically.

"Oh, my God. Vamps are so cute." Shane gushes mockingly, before laughing.

You blink at him. "Can you never do that again?" you ask seriously, shaking your head. He laughs again before scooting himself closer to you and kissing you. He takes your top lip playfully in his, but it still makes your body shiver, making him chuckle under his breath. Very carefully, he moves his body so he is pressed against you lightly, keeping a hand on your stomach. He pulls on your lip gently before running his lips down your neck. Sighing - although this time in pleasure - you smile and lean into him as he lightly bites your skin. "You're gonna be back soon, right?" you say as he brings his lips back to yours.

He nods as he runs his tongue across your bottom lip. "In a couple weeks." He answers softly, running his hand through your silky hair. "Barely know I'm gone." He teases, poking your arm. You squirm and laugh, before leaning into him again. The two of you continue to watch the TV silently, just holding each other. You jump when Shane's phone vibrates in his pocket, making him smirk again as he opens the phone again. "Hello?" He says, putting his head on top of yours.

You lower your eyebrows when you hear the purr of a woman's voice. "Hello Shane. Just wondering how you are." The woman's voice is completely in seduction mode, making you freeze. Shane narrows his eyes, pulling the phone away from his face to check the caller ID. He sucks in his breath and looks at you with wide eyes.

"Lauren, how did you get this number?" he asks with a high pitched voice, pushing himself off of you. Immediately, your hand springs out and grabs his shirt, holding him in place. Your heart is beating fast as every single doubt and thought comes to your head. "Well, I changed it." he says, responding to the woman you can no longer hear. "No, I don't- Lauren, I cannot talk right now." He snaps, pushing your hand away. "I'm not interested. I never was. I'm with my fiancée - you know, who's pregnant? Yeah, her. Leave me alone." He tells her sharply before shutting the phone.

You just stare at him.

He turns to you, blowing out air forcibly before running a hand through his hair. "Mitchie -" he tries to talk, but you cut him off. You have to - his voice makes your blood boil.

Narrowing your eyes at him, you get off the bed. "Save it." you whisper darkly, shaking your head. Shane looks at you hurt, lowering his eyebrows. He goes to talk again, but you still do not let him. "No." you spit out before turning around and walking out of your room. Shane scoffs and then sighs, and follows you out.

"She's just a girl." He justifies, but it only makes you even madder. You glare at him before going to the kitchen rather quickly, making him groan. "Remember when we broke up, after the…" he trails off before clearing his throat. "After the miscarriage, I… I was hurt, Mitch. I met this girl at some club and-" you cut him off again.

"The girl from the voicemail?" you ask pointedly, crossing your arms. He shoots you a confused look.

"The voicemail?" he questions back, lowering his eyebrows puzzled. Suddenly, recognition goes in his eyes. "Yeah, the girl from the voicemail." He mutters, squirming slightly. You roll your eyes before grabbing your cell phone. He sighs again. "I didn't feel anything for her. I just wanted to forget you." He says honestly, as the two of you enter the kitchen.

You scoff loudly, your eyes lighting up with anger. "Oh thanks." You snap at him and he rolls his eyes. He comes towards you, but you turn away from him. You shiver again when you hear him growl under his breath, but do not turn to face him. Suddenly, his hand shoots out in front of you, trapping you against the counter. Refusing to look at him, you stare at the clock on the wall aimlessly. He stares at you harshly, before coming closer to you.

"I was falling in love with you, and I thought you loved me." He says in a low voice. You open your mouth to argue, but he cuts you off. "You didn't love me, Mitchie." He tells you sharply, before sighing. "Or at least not then. We were stupid and thought lust and love were the same thing. You have said it yourself - we didn't know the meaning of love back then. But, we sure as hell knew what heartbreak was. When you left, it was so hard for me to comprehend why someone would leave me - especially when I just tried to tell them how I would give up everything for them. So, I tried to find comfort in other places." He says before indicting to the phone still in his hand. "Namely Lauren." He says with a sigh.

You again do not say anything.

"Don't get mad at me, Mitchie." He mutters, shaking his head. He comes close to you before kissing your forehead and trailing his lips down to your ear. "It's not worth it. It's my last night here for a while. Don't let some whore who only got to me because I was upset get to you. It's not worth it." he repeats, squeezing your sides. "C'mon, don't be this way." He chides you when you push his hands away.

"Did you sleep with her?" you blurt out. He stares at you for a while, before shaking his head. He lets go of you and takes a step back.

"I can't believe you just asked me that, Mitchie." He mutters sadly, as he leans against the wall. For a while, nothing is said. Guilt starts getting at you. You know Shane. You know he would never sleep with another girl, and if he did, he would have told you. You know that. But you are also a girl and hormonal, so everything seems ten times bigger than it truly is.

"I'm going out." You find yourself saying, as you push yourself off the counter. His eyes widen, watching you as you take your purse. The door closes with a soft bang.

--

You don't know how you got to where you are, but a quick phone call to a girl you never thought you would call is probably the answer. "So, what did Shane do this time?" she asks as you dig your spoon into a small cup of strawberry and banana yogurt. You shrug and look out the window, noticing the snow melting on the ground before putting the spoon in your mouth. You watch as the taxis honk at each other and bundled up tourist walk in groups, looking at the skyscrapers with excitement.

"Nothing. I just needed to get out of the apartment." You reply honestly before looking at her. She truly is a goddess. With her long blonde flowing hair and her piercing blue eyes, you know she is one of the most beautiful girls you have ever seen. "Thanks for meeting me, Norah." You add with a fake smile. In all honestly, you do not know why you called her. Maybe because you knew she was in New York. Maybe you just wanted sympathy. Either way, you really regret it now.

"Sure, hon." She says with a warm smile before taking a sip of coffee. She shivers and looks at you with a too-cute face. "Aren't you cold? And eating ice cream? You sure you do not want some of my caramel latte?" she says concernedly. You stare at her, before shaking your head with another fake smile and putting your hand on your stomach. Her eyes widen. "Oh, right. Yeah…" she trails off awkwardly, before taking a large intake of her drink. "So, anyways, what do you want to do?" she asks with renewed cheerfulness. You shrug and sigh softly.

"I don't know. Like I said, I just needed to get out of the apartment. Shane is leaving tomorrow and… I know I'm gonna be sad and I don't want to be sad." You squirm, struggling with words. Norah nods, taking a sip of coffee again and you swiftly take another spoonful of ice cream.

"Then you want to have fun?" She questions, with a small smile. You nod hesitantly and she gives you a wider grin. "Great." She pipes up jovially. "Let's go to this club." She suddenly grabs your hand, practically pulling you up. Gasping, you put a hand to your stomach as your heart beats fast, but Norah doesn't even notice. She just gives you another smile that lights up her beautiful face, before calling her driver over. She tells him some directions ridiculously fast as she pulls you out into the cold again. You follow her into the car reluctantly.

"Norah, I don't think a club is the best idea." You tell her, your hand still on your stomach.

She rolls her eyes. "Of course it is, dummy. Nothing's gonna happen. I have my security team and plus, The Sounds are playing. I love them so much, but didn't have anyone to go with." She tells you, practically jumping up and down on her seat. You fake a laugh, before looking down to your old jeans and random Beatle's shirt.

"I'm not dressed for a club." You state the obvious and she rolls her eyes before reaching to the backseat. She pulls out a bag from Bloomingdale's before giving you a smirk.

"I brought these just in case you said yes." She admits with a slight blush. "I hope they're the right size. You have… _grown_ since the last time I've seen you." She mutters, before taking out a black glitter-filled, swirl patterned dress and stretching the middle. Then she hands it to you with a wink. "I think it's so cute." She gushes and you nod wordless as she takes out a bright red sparkly dress for herself. You avert your eyes as she takes off her shirt and she giggles. "We're both girls. Change, Mitchie." She orders sweetly, patting your thigh.

You thank God for the darkness in the car or she would have seen you blushing. You sneak a glance at her, noticing her perfect form. Her pale skin is brightly contrasted against the bright red material of her bra, but that's all you see before turning your head when she starts to slip off her jeans. You reluctantly take off your own clothing uncomfortably, before putting on the dress awkwardly. You pull at the sides to make it fit you better, looking up surprised when the car stops but not seeing a club. "Some on. Let's stop at the Dunkin' Donuts to do our makeup." She explains, pointing at the coffee shop.

You sigh but nod. After all, you called her for a reason - to get away from Shane. She grabs your hand as she straightens out her own dress before walking over to the store. She gives a smile to the people behind the counter before going to the restrooms and pulling you in with her. You give her a fake smile as she squeals and twirls in front of the mirror, before a real laugh escapes you. She is such a little kid. How in the world did Shane date her? Suddenly, she turns back to you, adorably scrunching her nose. She helps you fix the dress so that it fits perfectly on your body before giving you a warm grin.

"Now, makeup." She sings as she digs through her purse.

You want to protest but instead roll your eyes and sit down on the closed toilet. She puts eyeliner and gloss on you, finishing you off with mascara and blush. Then she starts playing with your hair, pulling out bobby pins from her purse. When she smiles at you again, you know you are done, especially when she turns to the mirror to put on her own makeup. You gulp slightly and look at your reflection.

You look different.

Not pretty - but slutty. Not beautiful - but tacky. Not self-conscious - but not true.

You look horrible, in your opinion. "God, you look sexy." Norah bumps her hip playfully against yours. "You deserve some fun, Mitchie. I mean, the club we're going to isn't sinister or anything. I have a rep to protect. I won't be drinking, but it's fun to just dance every now and then. Plus, The effing Sounds are gonna be there. They are amazing.' She sings, before opening the bathroom door. You just nod at her, your phone feeling like it weighs a million pounds in your purse. You know you should call Shane. You don't want to go to some club, but at the same time, if you go back to your apartment, you will go insane the second he leaves.

The two of you make it back to the car and silently go the club. You watch teenagers as they drunkenly push each other with smiles on their faces. You never thought drinking was a big deal. The only time you ever really drank was when you found out about the miscarriage, and really, that only made you feel worse. "What morons." Norah butts in, looking at the kids. "I never want to be that girl who is crying and wondering if she slept with someone last night. Alcohol is so dumb." She rolls her eyes and you give her a tightlipped smile and nod.

"It's stupid." You say softly, just as the car stops in front of a small club. You lower your eyebrows as you look at the exterior of the place. It looks dirty and old - hardly a club, but rather a warehouse. You look at Norah but she doesn't pay attention to you as she takes your hand in hers and goes as swiftly as she can to the door. The line is a mile long to get in, but all Norah does is flash a smile at the guard and he lets you through. Inside, it is completely different from the inside. The bright multicolored lights and DJ equipment are high tech and amazing. The floor is literally shaking as people scream and dance and push into each other.

Your eyes widen as you try to protect your stomach, but Norah pulls you away from all the grinding. Instead, she takes you to some stairs you did not see previously and leads you up to the VIP section. There, it is extremely less crowded and less hot. There are people lounging and smoking or drinking all over the place. You follow Norah as she leads you to the edge of the floor, overlooking the stage. There you can see the whole club, including the band already screaming into the mic. _"I've been dying to say this to you and I don't know what else to do. I've seen your fucking attitude."_ The lead singer croons loudly, the crowd dancing along to the beat.

"Where are they from?" you ask, screaming against the music to Norah. When you don't hear a response, you look behind you for the blonde, but find no one. Panicking you call out her name, but all you manage to do is attract the attention of the men sitting on the couches. They give you leering stares, so you swiftly turn back to the band. They are now jumping and throwing water onto the crowd, as you completely freak out.

"Are you alone, honey?" a man comes up behind you, trapping you much like Shane did earlier. Except when Shane did it, at no time did you feel fear. You gasp softly, not knowing how to get rid him off. You are scared for your child and you are scared for your life. Internally, you chide yourself. You could be at home with your fiancé, cuddling or watching a movie. Instead, you're getting hit on by men twice your age.

"Um…" you clear your throat awkwardly, trying to shrug out of his grasp. You look at his face - maybe thirty, blonde, creep - and see his eyes are lowered to your stomach. The dress hides the bump, but apparently not as much as you thought it did.

"Knocked up, huh? Well, at least I wouldn't have to wear a rubber." He leers, the alcohol strong on his breath. You just stare at him, your heart beating quickly, as another man comes close to you.

"Leave the girl alone, Robbie." The other man says. He has red hair and is a bit taller than the first guy, but still has the same creepy features to him. "Can't you see she goes for man with more to offer?" the man sneers, grabbing his crotch pointedly. Scared and panicked, you push the man away and waddle as fast as you can back downstairs. You find the bathroom quickly, locking the door behind you before going in a disgusting stall. There is writing - mostly vulgar - on every surface, as you pull out your phone.

You look at the screen and only see one text from Shane. _Very mature, Mitchie, _it reads.

You sigh shakily and call him, feeling tears rush to your eyes. "Hello?" he says hoarsely. Obviously, he was sleeping. You figured he thought you went to Caitlyn's or something. You know he will be upset and even worst he will probably be downright livid.

Shit.

"Shane." You choke out, swallowing uncomfortably.

"Mitchie?" he says, more alert. He clears his throat, trying to rid himself of sleep. "What's going on?" he asks, his voice still husky. In any other occasion, it would have been sexy, but now, all it does is make you feel even sadder for not having him by. "Where are you?" he continues when you don't say anything.

"I don't know." You answer truthfully, shaking slightly. You take a breath. "Shane." You croak again. "I think I'm about to be like raped or murdered and I kinda want you with me and I need you to pick me up, preferably, now. Please." You say rather quickly, shaking your leg.

"What?" he asks, obviously still tired. Suddenly, his breathing picks up. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Where the fuck are you? Do you need me to call the cops?" he asks and you can hear him force himself out of bed and throw stuff around. You take another deep breath, as someone starts pounding on the door. _"Hey, what the fuck? I need the bathroom."_ You hear someone yell.

"I'm at some club in New York. I came with Norah and some guys keep bothering me. " You explain, and even to your ears, it sounds wrong.

You hear him pause. "What? Which guys? You did what? Why?" he asks outraged and shocked at the same time. You can hear the anger and confusion in his voice as you swallow.

"I don't know." You say lightly.

He explodes. "You don't know? You don't fucking know? Mitchie, what the hell is wrong with you? You are pregnant, Mitchie. With my fucking child. How dare you?" he yells at you, and you hear him slam the door over the phone. You put your head against the door of the stall, listening to the yelling on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Shane, I need you please." You whisper at him, your voice filled with emotions. He sighs before calming himself down.

"Find out what club you are at, Mitchie." He orders with a steady voice. You sigh and leave the stall, slightly more confident knowing Shane is on the line. You open the bathroom door, facing angry girls bravely before pushing them away. They just stare at your stomach, swallowing their anger. You walk away from them and go towards the front of the club, wiping your forehead of sweat. Putting the phone back to the side of your mouth, you go out to the cold and look to the sign. "It's called the Filmore Plaza." You tell him.

He growls. "Manhattan, Mitchie? Really? For what? And why the hell are you with Norah? Ugh!" he groans, and you hear him start the car. "Just know, I'm so pissed at you." He snaps at you. "Stay safe okay. I don't want you doing anything or putting any attention to yourself. If you can, try and hide in the bathroom again." He advices as you fight your way back inside and back to the bathroom. The girls inside give you strange looks.

"Can you stay on the phone with me?" you ask, feeling pathetic. You hear him sigh deeply.

"Yeah, Mitchie. I'm here."

--

"Okay, I'm in front of the club. I'm going to hang up now." He tells you and you sigh. In the past hour, you two have barely said anything to each other, but it didn't matter. You felt safe - that mattered. You push yourself off the wall, and get out of the bathroom, looking for Shane.

You immediately spot him. His hair is messy and he is still wearing the clothes he was in when you left. When he spots you, he looks murderous. His eyes narrow before looking you up and down. He scoffs when he meets you, as you wrap your arms around yourself. He bends down to whisper in your ear, making your shiver when his cold face touches your sweaty one. "You look like a tramp." He says before abruptly letting go and glaring at you. Your eyes widen in hurt and disbelief, but he just shakes his head. "Where are these guys?" he ask, the anger clear in his voice.

You gulp before shaking your head. "Let's just leave." You say, your voice gruff. He gives you the most withering stare, making your heart stop. "Upstairs." You whisper, but he still hears. He grabs your arm and pulls you upstairs, hallway growling at the security guard before pushing past him.

"Where are they?" he asks you, his eyes piercing. You open your mouth before looking around and shuffling. "Mitchie, I'm not going to repeat myself." He says, coming close to you, squeezing your arm. You sigh and nod over to the two men who are still drinking in the corner. He immediately stalks over to them, interlacing your fingers as he does. They instantly see you before noticing Shane.

"Guess he's the daddy." Robbie mocks, laughing. Shane's body tenses and you can see the veins in his arms pop out from the fist he is making. You quickly put your hands on both his wrist from behind, before standing on your tippy-toes.

"Please, don't do this." You say frantically in his ear, pressing your body against his back. You can feel his breaths come up short as he stares at the men. The older man clicks his tongue and stands up, standing eye to eye with Shane. "Shane, please. This will be everywhere tomorrow if you do this. It isn't worth it. Please." You repeat anxiously, pushing him backwards.

"You gonna listen to that bitch?" Robbie sneers mocking, taunting Shane. You feel your fiancé's body tremble and he almost slips out of your grasp, as you continue to frenetically whisper in his ear. Suddenly, a tall blonde comes out of nowhere, grabbing your arm roughly. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy, but also mad and scared.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I go and get some sodas and you disappear on me? What the fuck, Mitchie?" Norah yells at you, her eyes angry. Suddenly, fury runs up your body. It's one thing for Shane to be mad at you; it's another for Norah to be as well. You push her off and go back to holding Shane back who is now having a glaring contest with Robbie. "Oh, you douches again." She mutters, throwing up her hands. Suddenly, she is calling security and you are pulling Shane to the other side of the club as he shakes with pure anger.

"Calm down." You whisper sharply to him, as he squeezes the handrail harshly. You rub his sides, trying to soothe him, but he just glares at you. You don't remember the last time you have ever seen him this mad before. You don't think he has ever been this mad, especially at you. "Shane, please. Calm down." You say to him, coming close to hug him. He doesn't reciprocate the embrace but rather tenses more. You look up at him, but he is looking away from you. Suddenly, the blonde is right next to you. "Norah, not now." You snap at her, but she ignores you.

"You could have called me! You could have at least told me something, before scaring me half to fucking death. I was seconds away from calling this guy." She scolds you, pointing at Shane. She goes to scream more at you, but she stops when she sees Shane's face. You look at him and shiver. His eyes, his face, his expression are so furious, you do not know what to do. He steps in closer to you, but only to get closer to Norah.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he says in a low, dangerous voice that makes you freeze. Widening your eyes, you put your hands on Shane's chest, holding him back again. Norah's jaw drops and she sputters out a scoff. "She is pregnant, Norah. And she's just a kid. How the hell did you get her past with an ID, huh? Didn't you think for five fucking seconds that a young girl who is pregnant should not come here, much less be left alone? Norah, what the hell were you thinking?" he yells, trying to get closer to her.

You plant your feet firmly on the ground and do not let him past. You reach up and put your mouth to his ear. "Calm down, Shane. It's not worth it." you kiss his neck tenderly, trying to soothe him. His hand goes to your hip and squeezes it extremely hard, before grabbing your hand roughly and pull you away. You gasp but follow him quickly. The two of you push past the crowds and finally make it back outside. Your fingers are interlaced as he leads you down the street in a hurried pace to taxi that was kept waiting. He opens the door for you, but doesn't even glance your way.

You blink some tears and get in the car, looking out the window as Shane tells the man where to go. The ride is tense and angry, as well as completely silent. You can feel the tears fall faster with every second. He was only a couple inches away from you, but you have never felt farther from him. The ride is long and awkward and uncomfortable, especially when the taxi stops at the train station and you get into Shane's car. The car ride isn't any better but as soon it stops at your apartment, you don't stay around. You leave Shane and quickly make it inside and to the elevators . Your hand is shaking as you try to stick the key in when you get to your apartment, but as soon as the door opens, you dash inside.

Almost immediately, Shane comes after you, slamming the door loudly behind him. You feel the whole apartment vibrate as you almost trip as you go swiftly to your bedroom . You jump when you feel Shane's hand circle around your upper arm. "Oh, no you don't." he snaps, pulling you carefully back to him. You stare at his chest, too scared to look him in the eyes. "Who the hell do you think you are? I mean, Mitchie you've done some stupid shit before, but this tops them all. Why the hell did you leave, hmm? And to Norah? Jesus, Mitchie. I'm so disappointed in you. You could have gotten hurt. The baby… our baby…" his voice cracks somewhat before shaking his head.

"Shane." You mumble, but he steps away from you.

"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight." He says without a second glance.

--

You toss and turn till early morning, guilt eating you up. Sighing, you get up out of bed and go to the bathroom, groaning as you look yourself in the mirror. You look out of it. You never took off the makeup, so you have mascara smudged and running down your face. You turn on the water and clean yourself, as the sun starts coming into the room. "Damn it." you curse, slamming your hand against the sink counter. You groan and leave the room, glancing at the living room involuntarily. You see the flashing of the television against the wall.

You hesitate before walking slowly to the living room. You peer around the wall, noticing Shane immediately. He is sitting up on the couch, his eyes glued to the silent television. He is watching infomercials with his arms crossed, but with a calmer face. You walk silently to the couch, catching his attention. His lips immediately go into a thin line and his eyes hardened. "Okay, I fail at life." You mutter, coming close to him. He rolls his eyes and looks back to the screen. "I know you're mad at me, but… I don't know why I went with Norah. I guess it's because I don't want to say goodbye. I want you with me forever, but you're leaving and nothing I say or do will stop that. I just couldn't be at home anymore." You explain softly, wringing your hands.

Shane doesn't answer you.

"Then at the club, I got scared and I needed you. I called you because I knew you would protect me. I knew that you would come because I know you love me… and I know I love you." You finish lamely. He shakes his head at you, sighing disappointingly at you. His eyes are stern when they meet yours.

"I'm so upset with you, Mitch. You're supposed to be more responsible than that. You're carrying my child, honey. I can't have anything happening to either one of you." His voice is soft but you can tell how serious he is. "I need you to be okay." He says, closing his eyes.

You nod before taking a step forward. "Shane, I know you're mad at me, okay, but… I can't sleep. I need you to hold me. I miss you. And I don't want us to part this way. Please." You ask, trembling your lip. Tears shine in your eyes as you shuffle next to him. You watch as his eyes soften and he sighs. He moves on the couch before reaching for your hand and letting you climb next to him.

"That's not fair. I'm mad at you." He says with a pout. You smile weakly at him before hugging his chest, taking a deep whiff of his cologne. "Don't scare me like that ever again, okay?" he whispers vulnerably. "I don't ever want anything happen to you. I love you so much." He admits with a kiss to your forehead.

You just hug him harder.

**XXX**

**Sandy (c)**


	42. Chapter 42

"**Can we work it out? (Can we?) Can we be a family? (Can we?) I promise I'll be better. (I promise.)" Family Portrait - P!nk**

**AN -Shane's Pov**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 42

Sighing, you board another plane to another place to do another show. You want to be with Mitchie. You want to be with your soon to be born child. Instead, Jason and Nate made plans to perform on the other side of the world - aka Spain or England or one of those countries because as Nate said, _"If we don't perform internationally, then everyone will forget us. We don't have our old label helping. This is all us now."_ And it pisses you off to no end, but it's your responsibility, your job, your duty. "Dude, calm down." Nate pushes your shoulder roughly, rolling his eyes. "Mitchie's like seven months pregnant. She still has two months and we're only leaving for two weeks. You're like a little child that just had his favorite toy taken away." He continues before putting his iPod headphones in.

You roll your eyes and grab Nate's mp3 player swiftly, making him jump somewhat. He stares at you with wide innocent eyes as you pull the device so far that the headphones unplug, but suddenly tries to jump out of his seat - even though he is buckled in - when you manage to throw the iPod down the center aisle of your private jet. "Asshole. What the fuck?" Nate yells, pouting as he unbuckles himself and practically flies to go grab his mp3 player before the plane starts. You smirk, feeling a little better now that Nate is uncomfortable and pissed off as well.

Closing your eyes, you lean back into your seat, your mind going straight to your fiancée. You think about her face - her long brown hair, her warm chocolaty eyes, her freckles that line her nose. You think about her body - the way her stomach pokes out of her thin frame, the way her breasts have grown, the way her legs go for miles.

You miss her.

You haven't seen her for about four or five days and you miss her. You miss the way she hugs you and makes you food and listens to your song ideas and watches random cartoons with you. You miss her understanding mood and the love she always seems to have. And you're also scared for her. You want her safe. You want her in your sight at all times - especially if she's going to continue doing stupid shit like going out with your ex-girlfriend. Internally, you roll your eyes at that evening. You and her are fine - there was no lifelong damage, but it still makes you mad from time to time.

She's supposed to be responsible now. She's going to be a mother, no matter what. "I thought I told you to be nice to your brother." You snap open your eyes, looking at the sad eyes of your mother. After the big fight with Dad and the label, it was hard talking to her or even knowing what to do. For a while, you thought she would forget you or disown you in a way. Instead, she asked if she could just come join you three at a few international concerts and even offered to be your personal assistant again. It took two random girls coming in and pretending they knew how to be P.A.s for the three of you to agree that your mother needed to clean your clothes again.

"I am nice. He was being a prick." You say through sleepy eyes, yawning softly. Your mother glares at you and you roll your eyes. "Sorry." You mumble lamely, crossing your arms. Nate glares at you when he comes back this side of the plane, taking a seat behind you instead of next to you like before. He then bumps into the back of your chair purposely. "Hey! See, why don't you yell at him too?" You point accusingly at Nate. Your mother sighs and shakes her head, giving Nate a look.

"Nate, stop it. Shane, you're almost nineteen - grow up." Your mother scolds the two of you, but makes Nate laugh. Suddenly, you reach out and punch him, knocking his shoulder to the side. Nate immediately responds by slapping your hand away and hitting you back. The two of you almost get into a full on fight before your mother intercedes. "Enough. Nathaniel, I expect you to behave better than this. You always go on and on about how you act older than you are. Well, right now all I see in a little kid pretending to know it all." You smirk at that until your mother points her finger at you. "And you! You're having a child. Stop behaving like one." she asks accusingly.

"Yes, Mom." You whisper at the same time Nate looks down ashamed.

"Well, then grow up! The both of you!" you mother finishes, just as the pilot tells you that it's almost lift-off. She gives the both of you another glare before going to her seat. The two of you are quiet for a while and before long you are in the air. You notice Jason is passed out in his seat, before you turn to Nate. Immediately the two of you start laughing before you point to the empty chair next to you. You lift up a pack of cards and he nods, still snickering as he climbs the seat.

--

That's how it's always been with Nate. You fight and bicker, and then play card games till one of you is declared the winner. That's your relationship - always competing, always bantering. "You talk to Mitchie a lot?" Nate looks up at you, halfway shocked you are speaking while playing. He shrugs.

"Sometimes. She listens. I don't know." He shuffles in his seat before looking back down to his cards. Suddenly, he smirks. "Do you guys talk? Or is it still sex, sex, sex all the time with you guys?" he asks mockingly but you see the humor in his eyes. You roll your eyes but your mind wonders back to those times. Ironically, back then when it was "casual" sex, it was more confusing and ultimately worse than it is now. "Do you know what the sex is yet?" Nate suddenly changes subjects, still chuckling.

You shake your head. "She wants it to be a surprise." Nate nods before turning back to his cards. You can tell he thinks you are done talking to him - because in reality, you have only had a couple long conversations with him your whole life. You still remember calling him after you left Mitchie in the cabin when she was bleeding so profusely. You were supposed to get her mother and you went to her cabin, almost knocking. But the thought of owning up to your mistakes, admitting Mitchie- bringing out the one secret you wanted to keep - scared you.

So instead you called Nate. "Hey. I really need you right now. Get Jason." You remember your voice being frantic and hurried. You literally wanted to cry or scream or something. The images of Mitchie lying in her blood wouldn't leave your mind then, and won't leave your mind ever.

Nate was tired - you remember that. It was very early in the morning that day. He asked you what you were talking about, half asleep. "Something happened to Mitchie. I don't know what to do and I think I need to take her to the hospital." You replied, shaking all over.

"Mitchie? Who the hell is Mitchie? Dude, what time is it?" Nate asked all at once. You remember taking a step back away from Mitchie's mother's cabin and start going to Nate's cabin quickly.

"Nate - Mitchie!" you screamed into the phone. "The girl who was in my cabin the other day. The one who I was singing to when you walked in." You tried to explain while taking a deep breath. You paused against a tree, trying to remember where your little brother's cabin even was. You remember the long pause Nate gave afterwards.

"Why was she in your room at six am?" he eventually asked, still confused.

You stumbled over your words then. "She's just a girl… this girl I'm with sorta. She's just…" you trailed off before swallowing harshly. "Just help me, okay!" you screamed frantically, shaking still.

"Shane." You look up when Nate shakes your shoulder. "You're crying." He whispers, and true enough a tear lands on the cards in your hand. You cough awkwardly, wiping your face roughly. "You okay?" he continues softly, tightening his hold on your shoulder. "Are you scared about the baby?" he guesses, raising his eyebrow. You laugh mirthlessly and do not answer him. "She's going to be fine." Nate says after a while. "Mitchie tells me that you worry about her a lot because you think she will have another miscarriage." He explains when you look at him questioningly.

Your eyes darken. "You know, I don't know how I feel about you and my fiancée talking so much." You say to him, crossing your arms and trying to shake off your sadness. Nate rolls his eyes, smirking.

"Didn't I tell you my grand plan? I'm going to steal Mitchie away from you. Sorry bro." He says sarcastically and you glare at him. He laughs before speaking again, shrugging slightly. "Like I told you, she listens." He repeats, looking down at his cards. The two of you play for a while, not speaking again.

"I'll… listen to you if… you want." You struggle with your words uncomfortably. Nate looks up at you incredulously, almost laughing with a raised eyebrow. You sigh and shake your head. "I know I haven't been the best to you…" you finish, not wanting to continue that thought. Swallowing harshly, you shrug. "Just want you to know I'm listening." You say with a sigh. Nate nods his head. Again, silence follows.

"I met a girl." He says after a moment, making you groan. "Who's not crazy like the last one." Nate continues in a deadpanned voice. You laugh but do not say anything. "She's gorgeous. She has thick dirty blonde hair and really nice eyes. We met a couple weeks ago, but I really like her. We're kinda dating, but I don't know where to take her when we come back. I was thinking fancy. No, wait! Maybe casual so she thinks I don't care where we go as long as I'm with her. Unless, she assume that means I don't care about her." Nate contradicts himself.

You just laugh and listen.

--

When you arrive in Spain and after your mother scolds you again- _Shane, seriously. You should know where you're going._ - you check your phone. You have a bunch of voicemails from random people, but you look until you find Mitchie's. _"Hey, Shay. It's four in the afternoon. I realize you are probably still on the plane, but just thought I would try. The baby is kicking up a storm today. I feel like it will become a little soccer player later in life, jeeze. Anyways, I talked to Caitlyn today. She's coming over for a few to help me walk the dog and then go to a doctor's appointment. I hope everything is fine with you. I love you a lot and the baby does too. I think that's why it's trying to beat me up - because it knows you're not around. Go be talented, but hurry back to me. Bye. Love you."_ You close your eyes as you listen to her voice.

You quickly close the phone as Jason pats your back, yawning loudly, as he nods over to the door. You reluctantly start walking to the venue you are playing at tonight. It has literally been at least a month since your last performance, and some part of you that feels nervous. The fans have been very supportive, but you know that they have a limit. You can only break so many promises before they stop believing in you. You wonder if they even care anymore. You wonder how much your fans will understand before they roll their eyes and cast you aside.

You only know how to be famous.

Suddenly, you are freaking out. It's one thing to give up fame; it's another for fame to give you up. You don't want to get fired from the industry. If you leave, you want it to be on your terms. It's like you lived your life in the limelight for so long, what happens when people stop caring? What happens when the next best thing comes out? What happens when you are exposed as a fraud, a fake, and you have nothing to even defend yourself with? What happens then?

And then, her face comes back to you.

And you stop panicking. When it ends, if it ends, you will have her. She will be your fan. She will be there. She will listen to you. She will love you. And, so will your son or daughter. They will love you too. "Wow, apparently we are totally sold out." Nate tells you with a smile. You breathe out slowly and just nod at him. What happens when the love of millions trickles down to the love of just two? You walk hurriedly when you see a window, looking out to the crowd of girls still waiting to get in. after a while, someone sees you and someone starts yelling and then everyone starts screaming. Nate glares at you, shaking his head, but you cannot help but wonder what happens when Mitchie is the only one who cares.

"Come on, man." Jason waves at you again. You look at your older brother before nodding over to the crowd. They scream and wave and smile up at you, crying for you to come back once you leave the window. You walk to the dressing rooms to get styled and made up and all that bullshit that comes with being you. When you sit down on the chair, your hairdresser doesn't even smile at you anymore. You know you used to make her life a living hell. You used to be very callous with her, thinking the hired help didn't deserve the same respect you thought you needed.

"Hi." You whisper as she starts to part your hair. She curtly nods at you, before going back to the straightener. You are almost afraid she will purposely burn you or something, but you do not say anything. "How's Stace?" you ask after a few awkward pauses. She gives you a confused look.

"My daughter Stacy?" she asks with a raised eyebrow. You nod at her carefully, making sure the iron doesn't burn your scalp. She lets out an amused chuckle. "She's fine. Besides nursing the broken heart you gave her when you slammed a door in her face and refused to give her an autograph, she is excellent." The woman says sarcastically with an almost bitter smile on her face. You look away from the mirror to not look at her anymore, shuffling uncomfortably in your seat.

The two of you don't talk much after that.

--

It is different performing after such a long time. It is exhilarating as well as nerve wrecking. "Are you ready?" Nate calls out. You nod at him and start going to center where you will be on a platform that will rise. You hear the crowd start yelling and chanting your name as the band starts up the loud music to announce your arrival. When you finally start going up, you are momentarily blinded by the bright white light of the spotlight. Suddenly, the lights leave you and fall on the energetic crowd, all jumping with their Connect Three gear and random glow sticks.

For the first time since you left Mitchie, you smile brightly. Nate starts playing the first few notes of the opening number and you know this is where you belong. The music, the feel, the yells - this is your home away from home. For a while, it felt like a chore, but right now, right at this instant, it feels like a blessing.

It happens three songs in.

Nate needs a well deserved break, so you and Jason try to stall by reading signs out loud. Most of them are silly or declarations of marriage or lyrics. The one that catches your eye is in the front rows. _You are loved no matter what, _it reads. Normally you would just brush it off, but today it makes you pause for a second. Maybe after this fame you will have more than just Mitchie; maybe you will also have the love of the most dedicated and loyal fans as well. You stare at the sign as Nate comes back and the show goes on again. You try to keep your mind focused on the songs, but the emotions are getting to you.

Maybe they will love you even with all the bullshit that you make them go through.

"I'm sorry." You mutter after a song was done. You doubt anyone even hears you since you had stepped away from the mic, but Nate and Jason look at you strangely. You just shake your head at them, feeling tears rush to your eyes. This has been everything you have ever worked for - maybe not the fame, but the ability to sing live to people all over the world. Your priorities have changed recently but music should never have been a casualty. You feel a couple tears fall down your face as the crowd screams and whispers about you.

Nate comes behind you and puts a hand on your back. You halfway want to lean into him and just use him for support, but you know how wrong that would seem. You shake off your emotions and go back to the microphone. Then, you pretend it never happened. It works for the most part but you know it will be all over whatever gossip site gets it first.

When the concert finishes, you take one last look around the stage. You make sure to look at every screaming face, almost begging them for something - you just do not know what. "I'm sorry." You mouth this time, thinking of all the times you denied little girls or rolled your eyes at the screams. Then, you're off the stage and being pulled in the dressing rooms again.

Nate gives you a look, concerned somewhat but also thoroughly freaked out. "What happened…" Nate starts but trails off. His eyes grow big, looking behind you.

You turn around and meet the eyes of your father. They are cold and indifferent, even a bit ashamed and disgusted. He looks you up and down, from your flat ironed hair to your red-ish eyes to your tight jeans. "You know, if I wanted a daughter, I would have had one. Then again, I'm not a dumbass like you." He snarls, narrowing his eyes. You don't even know what to say to him, halfway wanting to punch him to show him how much of a man you really are. He scoffs. "How's business going without me, huh? Are you doing anything at all, you worthless piece of shit?" he continues in the same tone.

Nate swallows beside you as Jason purses his lips. You go to answer, but someone goes in front of you, blocking your way. "Leave." They say coldly. "Don't think you can come in here and talk to my brother that way and get away from it. You are not welcomed here so leave!" you freeze when you notice just who is talking.

"Nathaniel!" you father says, almost scandalized. His eyes widen as he stares at his youngest, his favorite son. Nate shakes his head, glaring harshly at the man. You move forward and put a strong hand on Nate's bicep.

"Leave it alone." You warn him, whispering in his ear. You wait until Nate takes a step back before fixing a withering glare to your father. "Actually, _Dad_." You spit out. "Our show sold out. Our label loves us and thinks we do deserve breaks. Our record sales have continued to be high, even with the switch. And honestly, our fans have never been so supportive before. So, yes, _Dad. _ We are doing something - a hell lot more than you are." You tell him with a cold smirk before shaking your head. "What's more - we have each other which is more than you have." You raise your eyebrow as Jason comes up from behind you after your father does not move.

"I think they told you to leave." He snaps, crossing his arms. Your father's jaw drops and he looks at his eldest son shocked. "I never understood your hatred for Shane, Dad, but let me tell you something, I'm tired of excluding him and hurting him, pushing him away to gain your approval. He's my brother and I love him. You, on the other hand, cannot even live up to be a father. So go to hell because you are not welcomed here." Jason repeats before turning his back to him and leaving the room.

Nate takes a step towards Jason before turning back to your father. "I hate you." He whispers with so much emotion, it almost makes you turn to him. Instead, you keep glaring at your father. He scoffs before shaking his head.

"You know, one day, you're going to look back at this and realize you need me, and that day I won't be there for you." Your dad says for his parting lines. Then he turns around and leaves, slamming the door harshly in his wake. You swallow, letting down your defenses before turning to Nate. He has tears in his eyes but he tries to stay in control. You sigh and move in closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't listen to him, Nate. Okay. We're not going to need him ever. I'll be there and Jason will be there." You promise him and he nods, breathing out shakily. "I'll even let you talk to my girlfriend again." You joke, squeezing his shoulder. Nate chuckles, wiping a tear that falls roughly.

"You'll let me?" he mocks with a sad smile. You laugh with him until his eyes get serious again. You put your arm around his back, pulling him close to your chest. He sighs but squeezes you tightly. "I'm sorry I let him tear us apart for so many years." He whispers in your ear. You shake your head.

"I didn't exactly pull you in, Nate. I'm sorry too." You say before letting go off him. You suddenly finger your straight hair. "I don't even like straightening my hair. I do it because the fans like it." you frown, before rolling your eyes. "I'm not a girl." You continue, almost pouting. Suddenly Nate is laughing hysterically and you are hitting him in the shoulder with the nearest thing you can find. Once again you get into a fight - albeit a play fight; however, this time there's no one to stop your antics. The two of you continue to fight until the both of you have the wind knocked out of you.

Sitting on the floor, coughing slightly, the two of you begin laughing again. "So… race to the showers?" you smirk, getting up before he even finished his sentence. "Hey!" he yells after you.

--

Looking out the window of your hotel, you cannot help but sigh. Your muscles hurt. You feel exhausted, but you cannot bring yourself to go to bed. You should be asleep for at least a couple more hours, but your father keeps plaguing your mind. That, and the fame question. You just don't know who you are sometimes. You feel lost.

Suddenly, your phone vibrates.

For the first time since last night, you smile. It might be only six am for you, but for Mitchie, it's at least nine. You quickly open the text. _Hope I'm not waking you. We didn't get a chance to talk last night. Heard about… crying? Is that right? Are you okay? Text/call me back, Shane. I'm worried. Love you. Little Grey says hi.,_ the text reads. It makes you close your eyes and breathe out lightly. It's easy to get caught up in anger and fear, but you know you have to realize there is more to life than that. There's the one thing that everyone wants - more than fame or wealth. You have love. Pure simple love.

_I'm awake. Just thinking about random stuff. Ran into my father. Not fun. At all. But whatever. I love you too. I miss you and the baby. I hope both of you are fine. _You write back before laying your phone on the table. You chuckle slightly, looking at your phone, remembering that one time you caught Mitchie going through it. Nate told you later about the unanswered text and you knew that she erased it. You shake your head, knowing how much pressure she had on herself back then. Suddenly, you pick up your phone again, calling someone.

"Hey. It's Shane." You say when the person picks up the phone. You hear a faint beep, indicating Mitchie texted you back, but you ignore it. "I was wondering if we could talk?" you say uncomfortably. You squirm in your chair, knowing she will be mad for you called her.

"Shane, you need to calm your ass down. Me and Nate have almost everything covered. The catering, the music, the everything. So go be a popstar and let me be." The girl responds with frustration. In the past couple weeks, you have called Caitlyn no less than ten times, asking the same thing each time.

"How about Mitchie? Did you find a way to get her at the place without giving it away?" you say quickly, not even allowing her to speak again. "I mean, I want her to be surprised. Are all the invitations out?" you switch subjects, clearing your throat softly. Caitlyn groans again.

"Shane Grey, stop calling me before I call the police. I will repeat this for the final time: Nate and I have everything under control. The catering is done. The music is set, unless of course you plan on skipping your own fiancée's baby shower. The invitations have been sent. Everyone knows the party is next Saturday. The place is reserved and you _have nothing to worry about_! Now, leave me alone." Caitlyn finishes exasperatedly. You smirk and shake your head, but breathe out in relief.

"Okay, okay. Thank you so much, okay, Cait? You have no idea what this means to me." You start, but she cuts me off.

"Save it popstar. Don't get emotional on me. What are you? PMSing? Apparently you cried on stage. Mitchie's freaking out about it because you have your phone off." Caitlyn snickers, saying in a singsong voice. You sigh and glare.

"Excuse you. Do you know who you are talking to? I'm Shane Grey. I can make your life a living hell." You conclude in the same tone of voice. She laughs.

"Yeah, well, I'm planning your girl's amazing baby shower, so I can make your life a living hell too." She says, halfway laughing. You smile as well; it's a good thing the two of you have an understanding that you are mostly just joking or being faux mean. Most people would be horrified at the things the two of you say to one another.

"Fuck you, Geller."

"Right back at you, Grey." She snaps back quickly. Suddenly, she pauses. "Where's Nate by the way? He was supposed to call me, but I don't know…" she trails off. You narrow your eyes, thinking about the conversation you had with your brother on the plane. Sighing, you shuffle in your seat again.

"You and Nate… aren't… like together or anything?" you ask awkwardly. Caitlyn doesn't say anything for a couple seconds. Another faint beep hits your ears as another text comes through. "I mean…" you sigh when she doesn't answer. "He was telling me about a girl and you guys hang out a lot. I was just wondering if it was you, that's all." You answer honestly.

Caitlyn clears her throat. "No, actually. It isn't." she says uncomfortably, before changing the subject. You talk with her for a few more minutes, only straying to the shower twice before hanging up the phone. Immediately, you go to your unread messages, smiling when you see Mitchie's name.

_Hon, is everything okay? Did your father do something? Are you okay? Nate? Jason? Your mother? _The first message read. You bite your lip before moving on to the next text. _Shane seriously. You're scaring me. Text/call me back. _You sigh and shake your head, already replying to her messages.

_Baby, everything is fine. Forget about my dad. It's over. Nate and the family are fine. Just stop worrying. Everything is okay. I don't care about any of that. I care about you, _you send back. Then just for good measure, you add another message.

_I love you._

--

The place Caitlyn picked out is beautiful - really just breathtaking. It's a good thing Nate helped with the cost, because you doubt she could have afforded the place all by herself. You arrive a couple hours early to the place as Caitlyn, Ms. Torres and Nate are setting up. As soon as your fiancée's best friend sees you, she groans. "Get out, Shane! Seriously!" she says, immediately abandoning her post to push you away.

You growl under your breath. "I want to help." You argue, crossing your arms. Caitlyn groans again and shakes her head, her stance strong. Ms. Torres and Nate just laugh, before going back to what they were doing. "Okay, fine." You admit defeat before perking up. "Did you get security? I could find Large Bob." You say with a smile that fades when she points to the guard standing at the entrance.

She puts a hand on her hip, wiping the sweat off her brow. "Do me a favor? Just go. I don't care where you go. You can sit at that table over there and be a good boy if you want. Just go. " She repeats when you open your mouth. "Jeeze, you're harder to get rid of then gum. Go away." She snaps, pushing you again. Sighing, you finally agree and go to the table she pointed at earlier.

It has been almost a week and a half since you last saw your father. Your mother told you he wouldn't talk to her when she got home and that he still has not said many words to her at all. Closing your eyes, you shake away thoughts of your father and focus on your other family. Mitchie is now almost eight months pregnant. The baby is practically formed, according to the doctor and will be due in eight to ten weeks.

Which is insane - at least to you. You never thought you would be father, and if you were one, it would be years into the future and definitely not a couple months shy of your nineteenth birthday. Truly though, a huge part of you would not have it any other way. This is your life and you are finally taking control of it. You will be the best father you can be to this child, no matter what. That is a promise you make not only to the baby and Mitchie, but to yourself as well. You will not be like him. You refuse to be. "Shane, I'm sorry Caity is bitching. She just wants everything to be perfect like you do." Nate says, plopping into a seat. "Hey, what time is it?" he asks, messing up his hair.

You look at your watch. "Seven. An hour and a half 'til show time." You say, with a raised eyebrow. Nate laughs.

"I think you're more nervous than Caitlyn is and that's saying something. Don't worry, Shane, about anything." He tells you, rolling his eyes. "I promise everything will be okay. Mitchie will love it." his voice lowers as he notices people start to come in. He turns to you with a bright smile. "Ready to host?" he asks sarcastically, making you sigh and roll your eyes.

Not many people have been invited, except for a few dozen. Most are Mitchie's family and even some random friends, but you also invited some of your people. Your mother came, as well as Jason and his girlfriend. These two twin sisters you used to tour with a million years ago that were and still are awesome. A guy your age and his girlfriend, Mickela, who are from a show that your ex-company used to employ. An Asian girl you used to have a crush on but was three years too old for you to ever think seriously about. Of course, your band members also showed - Marbo and Flawless.

It is simple but you know it will be elegant. When it comes time for Caitlyn to leave to pick up Mitchie, you are nervous once again. Mickela's boyfriend, Justin, comes to you and pats your shoulder. "You are amazing, Shane. Seriously, I would shoot myself if Mickie ever showed up pregnant. That is if management didn't kill me first." You just smile uncomfortably at him and roll your eyes.

"It was hard to… comprehend at first, but I knew I had to take charge." You tell him, tilting your head. He nods, laughing somewhat. He pats your back again.

"I'm proud of you." He tells you with a grin. You nod and shake his head, before he goes back to his girlfriend. When you feel a tap on your other shoulder, you turn around and groan. "Nate! Handle this." You say, gesturing at the person's body.

"Excuse me!"

"Alexis, what the fuck are you doing here? You weren't even invited. How did you find us?" Nate says incredulously, pushing his ex-girlfriend out to the hallway. When they disappear from view, you roll your eyes and focus on the door again. After five minutes, Ms. Torres gestures everyone to quiet down. A minute later, Caitlyn and Mitchie walk in, the room yelling "_Surprise!"_ You watch her expression change from confusion to surprise to embarrassment. Her eyes immediately look around the room until they find yours.

You give her a big smile before walking towards her. You can smell her perfume - so sweet - as you get closer and she walks forward. You give her a hug, being careful with her stomach, kissing her on her lips as you do. The crowd _awws_ and laughs at the two of you until you pull apart. Random people come up and give her hugs and continue to pat your back and so on. Caitlyn gives her a sly smile when Mitchie turns to her wordlessly, still shocked. They hug tightly as Mitchie starts to choke up. "Give me back my girl, Cait. You make her cry." You say sarcastically, putting a hand on Mitchie's waist.

She immediately comes over to you. "When did you guys plan this?" she says, her voice with tears. You laugh and hug her tighter.

"A month ago." You explain with a smile. Caitlyn groans, leaning on Mitchie's shoulder.

"Your fiancé is so freaking annoying. Seriously, you couldn't have picked a better guy? Like him?" she says pointing to a random guy. They both stare at him awkwardly for a second, trying to make out who he is. "Isn't that Justin something from that one show they play every Friday?" she asks, slightly confused. You roll your eyes and start to lead Mitchie away to your mom.

She laughs and squeezes your sides. "So are there games or something? Like guess my stomach size or baby bingo or something like that?" she asks teasingly, before hugging your mother. She whispers something to Mitchie that you cannot hear, before she goes to your aunt that came as well. She hugs her and thanks her for coming before turning back to you.

"Not that I know off, but what would I know? Caitlyn wouldn't let me anywhere near her or the plans." you say almost bitterly. Mitchie laughs again and shakes her head. You smile at her. She is radiating happiness. Her eyes are bright. Her cheeks are red. Her smile is big. She looks ready to fly.

"So where's Nate?" she asks, looking around. You laugh and glance back to the hallway.

"You don't want to know." You say. For awhile, she just takes in the party, everyone smiling and looking at her.

"I didn't need all this you know." She says, looking at the expensive decorations. She bites her lip, giving you an apologetic look. You shrug and roll your eyes, pulling her close. "I didn't need all these people. I just need you, you know that?" she says, wrapping her arms around your waist. "If it's you and me forever, I'll be alright.' She tells you, kissing your cheek.

You moan playfully. "Sounds like a song." You joke before going back towards the party.

--

After introducing Mitchie to random people and handing her back to a demanding Caitlyn, you step aside to admire the party. Caitlyn really did do a good job with the decorations and the invitations and everything that had to do with the party. You look around to all the people before glancing briefly at the doorway.

That's when something catches your eye, or someone rather. He is dressed in simple jeans and button down shirt. Even with the sunglasses he has on, you can tell his eyes are straight on Mitchie.

Mitchie.

Who's having the time of her life right now. Who is dancing with Caitlyn and still trying to find Nate. Who is joking with Jason as he pours her another coke. Who has the brightest smile she has had for such a long time.

Immediately, your mood changes. You quickly go towards the man, putting your hand around his bicep, pushing him discreetly back into the hallway. "Whoa! What the hell?" the man tries to push you off, but you are tougher than him. He looks at you, a grimace coming to his face. "Oh, it's you. I guess she hasn't gotten rid of you yet huh?" he snarls, glaring form behind the sunglasses.

You scoff, glowering back. "Get the hell out of here before I call security." You say in a steady, dark voice. He doesn't say anything, gritting his teeth. He takes another look at Mitchie. "I mean it. Get out. I don't want to hear your sob story or your bullshit. I will call security and I will call the cops." You warn him with angry eyes.

He clicks his tongue. "You cannot stop me from seeing my own daughter." He says, coming closer to you.

You do not back down but rather intensify your glare. "Wanna bet?" you threaten. The anger running through you makes your heart beat faster to the point you know you might throw a punch. You feel like killing him for all the pain he has inflicted on Mitchie. "Stay the hell away from my fiancée and my kid." You whisper dangerously.

The man scoffs but eventually backs down. He gives you one last look. "This isn't over. Not by a long shot." He promises before leaving the party. You do not turn to look at him, your eyes glued to the happy ecstatic girl in front of you that is oblivious to what just happened.

**XXX**

**Sandra (C) **


	43. Chapter 43

"**We're going down, and you can see it too. We're going down, and you know that we're doomed. My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room." Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer**

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 43

He is besides you when he finds out. The two of you are laughing on your bed, watching old cartoons and eating popcorn when Jason calls. "Shane." You barely hear his distraught voice through the phone. You look up at Shane, watching as the smile that graced his face fades to shock.

"What? Is he okay? What do you mean?" Shane starts sputtering out. "Jason!" he pushes you off him when you put a hand on his arm. He immediately stands up, pacing furiously as he tries to pick up all his clothing. He closes the phone abruptly, harshly and pushes things and clothes around carelessly and recklessly.

"Shane?" you ask softly, standing up. He looks at you but he hardly sees you. You feel disconnected from him for the first time in a long time. His eyes look distant and scared and out of it as he maneuvers around you, grabbing his jacket and putting it on. You try to stop him but he doesn't listen to you. "What's going on? Will you stop for a second?" you say, grabbing his arm with as much force as you can muster. He turns to you for a second, tears gathering in his eyes.

"It's Nate." He says and without another word, leaves you.

--

You go by yourself to the hospital. It's weird walking in there pregnant; everyone thinks you are about to explode but as you keep reminding everyone - you are not here for you or the baby. You are here for them, the Grey's. "Hello, child." You turn and see a black woman gesturing for you to follow her. It takes you a while but you eventually recognize her as Mabelle, the bodyguard woman who you met back when you had come to visit Shane after he tried to commit suicide. "They are over there." She continues to tell you, opening the door behind her.

Nodding, you follow her until you see Mr. and Mrs. Grey in the waiting area. Mrs. Grey is crying into Shane's father's chest while Jason nervously taps his foot. Shane is nowhere to be seen. You suddenly feel out of place - like you are disrupting a private family moment. So instead of continuing to follow Mabelle, you silently turn around and walk away.

It's easier to.

You do not know where you are even going or what you will do. You did not bring enough money to pay for a taxi home, so you are stuck here until you call Shane and find out where he is. "Get this man to room 23 stat!" a doctor calls out, almost running you over. You gasp and hold on to your stomach. As soon as you are safe to move, you walk to the cafeteria, thinking you could at least sit. However, when you get there, security is blocking the way. They snarl at you and shake their heads wordlessly. Something bubbles up inside you but you still turn around.

You feel scared and nervous. You do not know what's going on and you do not know how to fix it. "Mitchie!" you turn around when you hear the cafeteria door open. Your eyes widen when you see who is there. She runs to you, pulling you into a tight hug before breaking down in tears. "Thank you so much for coming. I'm so scared right now." She sobs into your shoulder. You awkwardly pat her back.

"Um, Alexis… what are you doing here?" you ask as nicely as you can. She backs away from you, sniffing and wiping her eyes. She gives you a confused look.

"My boyfriend is in the hospital. Where else would I be?" she says with a slight glare. Suddenly, she shakes it away, pulling you into a hug again. "Christ, when Dani texted me that Nate was hurt, I couldn't handle it. I know I…" she trails off, wiping her nose with her sleeve. She gives you a sad look. "I know I've a bitch to you and Shane to get back at Nate. I'm sorry for that. You didn't deserve that." Her dirty blonde hair falls in front of her face as she looks down ashamed. You sigh. They are just kids. No matter how much money they have or how talented or whatever, famous kids are still kids. Alexis might be vindictive and mean and weird and slutty and undeserving, but she is just a kid.

She has feelings too.

"Alexis, it's okay." You lie, putting a hand on her shoulder. She looks up, her eyes bright red. "Just… leave me and my family out of you and Nate. I know the two of you are that couple who are on and off forever. Just keep us out of it, okay?" you tell her, squeezing her shoulder before wrapping your arms around your upper body. She breathes in deeply and nods, a small smile on her face. Suddenly, she is touching your stomach, feeling as the baby kicks against her fingers.

"That's incredible." She gives you a small smile, not even realizing how important your baby is. You only have four months on her but it feels like an eternity. She is stuck in high school, while you have graduated to real life. Sighing, you nod at her, feeling uncomfortable as she massages your stomach. "Do you know the sex yet?" she asks, reiterating the same question everyone has.

"No." you shake your head, suddenly back away from her touch. "Hey, I have to go. Talk to you later, okay?" you say, not even waiting for her to finish talking. You need to get out of there. Randomly and quite suddenly, you feel suffocated. You feel like something is wrong. Obviously, there's Nate, but it's more than that. You feel like something is _really_ wrong. As soon as you get far away from Alexis, you pull out your phone and call Shane.

He doesn't pick up.

--

You eventually go to a little restaurant across from the hospital. You have enough money on you to at least buy something to eat so that the baby doesn't kill you with hunger pains. You eat quickly, ignoring the stares. You wonder briefly if they are staring at you because you are sixteen and pregnant or because you are Mitchie Torres, soon to be Mitchie Grey. You don't care either way. You just want to eat in peace without everyone down your back.

And you want Shane.

You try him again but you get no new results. In the pit of your stomach, you have a sinking feeling. Something bad is going to happen - you can just feel it. You gasp slightly when the baby kicks softly before throwing all its weight to the left side of your body. You roll your eyes and push against the weight, sighing when it makes you go to the bathroom. You pay for your food and go to the restroom, still ignoring the stares. "Hey." Someone says, startling you. Turning around, you meet the bright, pretty blue eyes of a young girl. She squirms uncomfortably, a slight blush on her face.

She looks at you apologetically but the sadness in her eyes is unavoidable. "I know… I don't know him." She starts, stuttering slightly. "But I still care about him. I might not obsess over him or want to marry him, but I appreciate him. I just wanted to tell you… ask you if you could send my regards to Nate and that the fans want him to be okay." The girl says softly, wrapping her arms around herself. You bite your lip before nodding.

"He's going to be fine." You say automatically, not knowing if it's true or not. You still do not even really know what happened to Nate. You know just about the same as this girl probably knows - hardly anything. You know Nate just got some Starbucks, had his aviators on, and was on the phone. He was too busy with life, too rushed to care to look both ways as he crossed the street.

The car hit him before he knew what was happening, his coffee spilling onto the side of the road.

"Thank you." The girl finishes, wringing her hands before turning away.

"Hey!" you call after her, stopping her before you disappeared around the bend. She turns around surprised with wide curious and sad eyes. "Are you okay? I mean besides the whole Nate thing…" you ask, trailing off as she looks down with such anguish that it kills you. She looks ready to break. You move forward, putting a hand on her arm. She suddenly shakes you off, wiping the tears that fell.

"I'm f-fine." Her voice breaks as she shakes her head. "My parents are divorcing today. It sucks." She says, shrugging. She tries to smile at you but you can see through it. You squeeze her hand.

"My parents are divorcing too. It does suck. But… I don't know your parents, but mine? They hate each other. Maybe it's better for them to be apart." You tell her, thinking of the mess that is your family. The girl wipes her eyes again, shaking her head. It takes her a second to speak again but when she does, it breaks your heart.

"Just makes it hard to believe in true love. It's like you get married to get divorced with pre-nups and all these sick little games we play. It's like why even bother finding Mr. Right when he's just gonna break your heart." She looks at you with confused, angry eyes. You shake your head, feeling tears because of the hormones and her words.

"Hon…" you trail off, not knowing what to say.

"Love isn't real." She concludes, shaking her head. "Lust and manipulation and bullshit exist, but love? It's just something Hollywood created to make movies. The romantic comedy will never come true. Prince Charming will cheat on you. You will never be happy. Why pretend anymore? Why even think it's true?" she asks, looking at you with tears in her eyes. Suddenly, she shakes them away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be unloading on you like this. I'm just gonna leave." She flushes and turns around, but you stop her with a hand on her arm again.

"It exists. I promise. He might not be a prince or perfect or even beautiful, but you will find a guy who will treat you like a princess. I know I never believed in love, especially when all the boys around me only cared about one thing, but love exists. It has to, because if it doesn't, what are we trying to prove? What are we trying to succeed in? You're a pretty girl and I know one day, someone will look at you and think you are their Cinderella. Don't lose hope. I didn't." you tell her, before pulling her into a hug. Her fingers close around your sweater as she hugs you back.

"You're going to be a good mom." She whispers as she pulls away. "But you have Shane Grey and he is very easy to love." She says with a shake of her head. You interrupt her.

"Actually, no he's not. He's always on the road. He has a temper. I actually cannot even find him right now, but that doesn't mean that I give up on him. Love isn't about having things easy or happy all the time. Love is work and knowing that no matter what happens, you are okay. That even if he is mad at you, he will hold you if you are sad. Love is knowing that not everything will be a fairy tale, but that things will be bad at times. Love is knowing that the world doesn't spin around you, but for a second, you can make the other person believe it spins around them. Love is sacrifice. It isn't easy and that's why so many people get divorced - because they think their relationship is a piece of cake but then the unwanted pregnancy or the slutty sister or whatever get in the way and things get harder. Then, it is easier to run, to get divorced than to admit that you need to work at love." You break off from your rant, pushing your hair back.

"Um, I…" the girl stutters, not knowing what to say.

You sigh before turning away from her. "Just don't give up hope."

--

"Shane, wherever you are, please for the love of God pick up the damn phone!" you whisper angrily into his voicemail. Sighing, you close the cell phone before going out of the restroom. You quickly travel back to the hospital, wondering how Nate's parents arrived so quickly from LA. When you walk in, something makes you stop. You hate the smell of hospitals. You hate hospitals in general.

Instead of staying, you turn around and walk all the way back to your house. You almost go inside, but again something stops you. Suddenly you climb into your mother's car. You find yourself going towards New York, thinking maybe Shane's at the apartment. You are filled with nerves as you try not to get into a car accident in the busy streets of the city. When you get to the apartment, you quickly go inside. You look around, noticing nothing is out of place. The lights aren't even on. The only lights that are flittering in are from the windows. You sigh and take your keys out of the door, going to the bedroom. Again, the room is untouched.

Shane isn't here either.

You groan loudly, sitting on the bed angrily before opening your phone. You press the number two on your phone, speed dialing Shane. Again, it goes straight to voicemail. "This isn't fair to me, Shane. Seriously, you could at least tell me where you are. I'm not some random girl, man. I need to make sure you are fine and you're not even picking up the damn phone. What if I went in labor, you asshole? Ugh, call me, Shane. I'm worried." You sigh before throwing the phone down.

Where could he be?

You absentmindedly grab the laptop that is besides your bed. You wait until it loads before putting your username and password - torresmi and secretvalentine16, respectively - and logging in to get your mail. You try to sort between what is real and what is from people you do not even know, but eventually give up. You go back to Yahoo!'s main page, noticing the picture of Nate and the link to the news page. Without even thinking about it, you go to Oceanup, the teen gossip site. Just as you figured, everything is about Nate or Shane or Jason.

You scroll down until you see Shane. He is wearing the clothes you saw him in this morning, but you cannot recognize where he is. _Shane Grey Returns Home? Where's the Add-on?, _the title reads. The little blurb on the bottom has, _Grey stops by to his NJ home this afternoon. Apparently no one has seen his pet, aka Mitchie Torres, anywhere. Trouble in paradise? _You hardly even pay attention to the comments or the remarks, but focus on Shane. You have no idea where his New Jersey house even is. Once, you put in his city in your GPS to see how far you are from him and found out you only lived twenty five minutes away from him your whole life, but that doesn't mean you know where he lives.

You press on the comments, quickly searching them.

"_The add-on! Haha, she really is. His own personal fuck buddy."_

"_Hey, dumbass, his 'own personal fuck buddy' is a rude way of saying a wife/girlfriend. Leave them alone. I think she's pretty." _

"_Well, I h8 her she's such a bitch. compltete stupid head. "_

"_Learn how to spell. And punctuate, stupid head."_

"_I wonder why he went to his NJ home. Doesn't he have an apartment with Mitchie in NY? Why didn't he go there?"_

"_I heard she ran into some girl at Red Robins in front of the hospital and like, broke down or something. D: I hope she's okay."_

"_I wonder where that NJ house is. It looks small."_

"_It's Wyckoff, right? Of course, it looks small. That's their home from before they were famous and fakes. I think they live on Peach Street, but I don't know."_

After a while, you couldn't stand to look at any more comments from people that think they know what they are saying. Instead, you go to Google. Sighing, you type in, "Where do the Grey brothers live in New Jersey?" in the bar. Quickly looking at the search results, you get the information but hesitate.

Should you go find him?

He obviously wants to be alone. He obviously doesn't want you to find him. So, do you?

You sit up quickly when your phone starts to vibrate, opening it quickly. You lay back down disappointedly when it's just Caitlyn. _"Have you heard anything? I'm so worried about him. Call me when you have the chance. How's Shane? I hope he's fine." _ The text reads. You sigh, throwing the phone back down. You really do not have the patience or capacity to text back. Throwing your weight on your feet, you lift yourself up off the bed, grabbing your cell and going back out. You sigh when you realized you left the door opened to your apartment. "It's not like you live in New York or anything, Mitchie." You say under your breath.

You go back to your car, exiting the building quickly while trying to decide what to do. If you go to NJ, you don't want to convey that it's a lack of trust. You just want to see him. You just need to see him. You are worried about him so much. You play around with your mother's GPS, wondering if you should go to his home. Taking one last look around you, you decide.

You need to make sure he's okay.

You turn up the music on the radio, tired of listening to the noise in your head. At the song that you interrupt, you feel your heart break. Why are our lives so hard? Why can't love just be easy? It would be so much better, so much quicker, but no. Love has to be hard. Love has to be difficult. Of course it does.

_Can't seem to hold you like I want to so I can feel you in my arms. Nobody's gonna come and save you, we pulled too many false alarms._

The singer's voice makes you feeling lost and out of it. The stress of the day is coming hard down on you and you feel ready to break down crying. Sometimes, it feels like too much. Like the goal you want to get to is too far from you but you can see it. "Shane, come on." You whisper to the air, as tears start falling. You know it's stupid to think something has happened, but you cannot shake it off. You are honestly scared beyond belief that something terrible has occurred. You can feel in your heart. Something has happened. After a while, you are almost hyperventilating. Scared, you push the skip button on the radio harshly.

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart, then waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees and for a moment you can hardly breathe. _

Groaning loudly, you slam your hand on the radio, turning it off. "Fuck you, John Mayer." You curse with frustration, silence suddenly hitting your ears. You follow the GPS as obediently as you can, trying not to think of anything else. When you start getting into residential areas again, you look at the houses. The commenter was right; the houses were small. Maybe a couple bedrooms big. It makes you realize they worked very hard for everything and it just makes you sadder that they could lose it all. You reach your destination quickly, seeing big vans everywhere - all sporting some label or another. "Damn paparazzi." You mumble, sounding the horn harshly to go through.

You make sure to wipe your face before they could take pictures of you. When you get out of the car, you hear catcalls and other yells but you ignore them. You ring the doorbell nervously, wondering what the hell you will say to Shane. When he doesn't answer, you bite your lip and turn to the closest photographer. "Has he left?" you ask, yelling slightly for him to hear you.

"No, he's been there all day." He calls out to you. Sighing, you turn back to the door, wiggling the handle slightly. When it doesn't budge, you step away from it and go to the side of the house. The fence to the back yard is thankfully open and you quickly go the backdoor. You freeze when you see it is wide opened. You slowly go inside, wringing your hands.

"S-Shane." You stutter, fear going through your body. "Shane!" you yell anxiously when no one answers. You look around the unfamiliar house, noticing you are in the kitchen. You look at the staircase just off the hallway and dash for it, going as quickly as you can up the stairs. You have no idea where to go but you notice only one room with light streaming under the door. You breathe out slowly, putting your fingers up against it. You slowly turn the knob, happy when you find the door unlocked; however, as soon as the sight in front of you hits your eyes, your heart shatters into a million pieces. "Oh, Shane." You breathe out, falling against the door ledge.

Your eyes sweep around the room.

The cocaine is the most obvious thing - besides him of course - as it lays in either straight, untouched lines or messy ones on the table in front of him. There is a bottle of vodka, opened but not drunk. And then, then there is the razor sitting right next to the cocaine. When he hears your voice, he turns to you. He is sitting on the floor, his clothes messy and wrinkled. His eyes are bright pink, whether because he has been crying or because of the drugs, you do not know. He looks at you strangely, as if you aren't really there. "This is where I would get high when I was younger. I would cut myself and then do a line. I was miserable but it helped in my own twisted way." He says softly, his voice sounding off.

"Shane." You whisper, going inside. Your heart is beating so fast. You are so scared. Your eyes immediately go to his wrists, looking for blood. His long sleeves block your sight but you do not see any blood on them anyways. You go forward but he sends you another look; this time, it is more of a glare. "What's going on?" you breathe out.

His eyes narrow. "What's going on? My brother's in the fucking hospital. People are scared he might not walk again and then some are saying that he just has a concussion. What's going on! What's going on is everything could change! Everything could go down in flames and totally get destroyed." He starts yelling at you, getting up roughly. You gasp loudly when he grabs your upper arms, your eyes widening with fear. "What the fuck are you doing here, Mitchie? Huh? Attached at the hip much?" he scoffs, shaking you slightly. Tears rush to your eyes as you look at him afraid. You have no idea if he is high right now or sober.

He could do anything to you.

"I was worried about you." You choke out and his nostrils flare.

"You were worried? You were worried!" he screams at you, his fingers tightening around your upper arms. You hiss in pain as he comes as close to you as possible with your stomach. "My little brother's in the hospital, Mitchie!" he yells at you, trying to one up you. You try to push his hand away.

"And what about me, huh Shane!" you scream back. You try to push him off again. "Did you at any point think about me?"

"Stop it!" he snaps, pushing you against the wall. You wince as pain courses through your body as your back hits the wall harshly. "Stop making everything about you goddamn it. Don't you realize that they are important to me too? My heart is literally fucking broken because my father doesn't even love me. My mother doesn't care about anyone but herself. And now my little brother is hospitalized? Are you kidding me? God, I feel like I have no one!" he punches the wall, suddenly crying hysterically.

You look at him wordlessly, tears streaming down your face. "I'm pregnant, Shane." You remind him, your voice tight. You feel the pain in your lower back as you lift your hand to wipe your eyes. He looks at you again, as if he was seeing someone else. His eyes almost look through you, narrowing in confusion and then anguish. Suddenly, he is coming to you, but this time instead of grabbing you, it's to put his head on your breasts as he breaks down in tears. He starts sliding to the floor, bringing you down with him.

--

The next morning, you wake up on an unfamiliar bed with him sitting on the floor looking at you. After the initial fluttering of your eyes, you see that everything - the drugs, the alcohol and the razor - have been cleaned up. "Are you okay, Mitch?" he asks seriously as you squirm in bed. He immediately comes to you, helping you sit up even though you push his hands away. The two of you are silent as he takes his fingers off you, although he does graze your protruding stomach. "You shouldn't have come last night." He says after a while. You look up at him almost angrily but do not say anything. He flinches at your glare and looks away. "I was in a bad place. I didn't mean to hurt you or the baby, Mitchie." He promises, his hand sliding down to your leg to rub it.

You shake your head. "You promised me you would never do drugs again, Shane." You remind him curtly, and he flinches again.

"I know, Mitchie." He mumbles disappointedly. "I didn't mean to. I just got out of control. It was stupid and totally wrong, but I'm just so fucking scared." He admits, his throat tight. When he looks up at you, his doe-like eyes are sad and confused.

"Shane." You shake your head. "You promised. You pushed me up against a wall, Shane. Jesus Christ, I'm fucking pregnant and I know how much you love this kid. You could have hurt me, Shane or you could have it hurt the baby. Is that what you want? Huh? Did you achieve anything by doing coke last night?" you argue with him, disappointment shining through.

His eyes widen somewhat. "Mitchie, I never wanted to hurt you. God, it felt like I wasn't even in control of my body. Do you think I wanted to hurt you, honey? I love you, okay. I'm not perfect and I'm not exactly the best, I realize that, but I'm trying. That's what love is, right? I'm trying." He starts to cry again, except now that he's sober, it breaks your heart even more.

"We were over this Shane. We were over sadness and razors and drugs. We got to fluffy and sugary sweetness and happiness. We were over this." You tell him, crying too as he wraps his arms around his body.

"I'm so sorry, Mitchie. So very sorry. We'll get there again, okay? Maybe tomorrow. I just need to know my brother is okay and then I'll sprinkle you with everything. Love and happiness and movies and dinners. I'll be good again. Just let me see that Nate's okay." He hiccups as you shake your head.

"What if Nate isn't okay? Then what? Then we can never be happy? Wake up Shane. Bad things happen and they suck but we cannot let them take us down every fucking time. We have to be strong. I need you to be strong. I cannot have you getting high every time there's a bump in the road and then crying to me about it later. I need you to grow up and take charge. You're going to be a dad soon, Shane. If you cannot be mature about this…" you trail off, tears falling down your face. "Then we cannot continue this." You whisper.

**XXX**

**Sandy (c)**


	44. Chapter 44

"**That's not the beginning of the end. That's the return to yourself. The return to innocence. Love - devotion. Feeling - emotion." The Return to Innocence - Enigma **

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 44

His mouth parts in fear or surprise - you cannot even tell - and he backs away from you slightly. "It was an accident, Mitchie." His voice is even, but you can tell his heart is beating quickly as his face gets paler. "I'm so sorry I hurt you… and I'm sorry that I lost control, but…" he clears his throat, breathing deeply. "Don't do this." He finally spits out, looking at you with bright eyes.

You do not speak for a couple seconds, before shaking your head. "I defended you - us - yesterday. Alexis came to me and apologized and I told her to keep my family out of her hands. I tried to protect us, but what did you do? You made me feel like I didn't belong. You made me feel like the guys who have grown to be my brothers were strangers. You made me feel like I'm nothing to you, but a hassle." He cuts you off then.

"Mitchie." He interjects, his voice wavering. "I didn't… I'm sorry. Just… don't do this. Please." His voice cracks, as he moves his body towards you. Immediately, you squirm away from him, turning your head to the side when he brings his to you. "Please." He repeats softly, his breath hot on your cheek.

"Shane." You whisper, closing your eyes. You shiver when you feel a tear slip from them and he simultaneously presses his lips against you cheek. He moves so that he is hugging you against his body, even with you trying to push him away. But it's hard. Not just because he is stronger, but also because you love him and you want to pull him close.

Think of the baby, Mitchie.

Crying, you lightly push against his biceps. "Mitchie, please." He begs, his eyes filled with tears. "I know I screwed up, okay. But my brother… he's my blood, Mitchie. He's the one person I have always protected and he's in the hospital? Are you kidding me? I just… I freaked, but I will fix this okay. I will take you out - both of you out when he gets better. I'll do whatever it takes to-" he starts, trying still to hug you, to kiss you, to do anything.

You cut him off. "To cover it up!" you finish for him. "Shane!" you yell exasperatedly, suddenly very angry. "Do you know how many times I have had to face you telling me to grow up? Huh! Or that I'm going to be a mother soon and I cannot continue acting up? Jesus, I go to a club and I get hell for it. But what about you, Shane? You did cocaine! You pushed me against a wall and now! Now, you have fucked up completely and what's your solution? Covering it up with gifts and pointless shit. Don't you realize that I need you? You! That's all I need from you. I don't need money or dinners or puppies. I need you to support me and for you to let me in, but if you cannot do that…" you linger, breaking off as tears fall harder.

With one final hard push, he finally stops trying to get close to you. He is looking at you with wide, scared eyes - almost as if he has never been in this situation before. "Don't do this." He repeats, so softly it breaks your heart. "Mitchie, I swear - don't make everything that we've been through a waste. Don't give up on us. Please." He continues in the same voice. His fingers curl around the sheets, balling up fabric.

You close your eyes again, breathing out slowly. "I'll call you later, Shane." You say, getting up as best as you can. You heart is beating so fast - it literally feels like it's about to explode. He watches you walk away from him, his hands still in a fist. "But don't call me." You whisper before going out the door.

The second you close the door behind you, you know every single thing ever between the two of you has changed.

And that's when the pain starts.

--

When you arrive at your house, the pain triples. It's the kind of pain that makes you gasp for air. The kind that makes you want to scream and cry and rip apart something. The kind that makes you fall to the ground in anguish. The kind that might kill you. You do not know how you got home or where you are in the house. All you know is the pain.

And it hurts so badly.

Your heart feels like it has been ripped out and you just want to crawl into bed and die. But then you feel a different kind of pain - like the baby decided to move downward suddenly. You feel as if it is pressing against your bladder. Paired up with the heartbreak, it's unlike any feeling you have ever had. You open your mouth to scream but nothing happens. Immediately, you want your mother. You want her here with you, to protect you, to tell you what's happening. But more than that, you already want Shane. You don't even care what he did, or was doing or whatever; you just want Shane.

You call out your mother's name a few times before realizing she isn't home. Pulling yourself up as carefully as you can, you make it over to your bedroom. The baby is pushing down so hard. Then you feel pain again - this time in your lower abdomen and back. You gasp loudly, sitting down on the bed to relax. When the pain goes away, you breathe out in relief. You have learned this past month that there are such things as false contractions. They aren't as strong as the real thing apparently, but they go away if you relax. When they do not go away, it's when you would know they are real.

That you are in labor.

Swallowing harshly, you bring yourself up until you are totally laying down, not sure what to do. You really want to get take a couple Tylenol PMs or something even stronger to sleep but you do not want to hurt the baby. You would never do that to him or her. You love the little thing, even if it's only in your stomach.

Think of the baby, Mitchie.

Shane pushed you up against a wall. He was high and he just did not care. He could have hurt you so badly last night.

But he didn't. He didn't hurt you after that initial push. He just cried and whimpered and told you that he was sorry. He shook and hugged you tightly, sobbing about Nate. And then he fell asleep. He didn't hit you. He didn't attack you or even say anything rude after that. He didn't treat you horribly again. He just let his feelings out. So is that okay? Is it okay to forgive him? To tell him that it's okay and that we can just move past this? Think about the baby, Mitchie. The baby doesn't need pain in its life, but it sure as hell needs a dad. Neither one of you two had good patriarchal figures but Shane's supposed to be different.

Right?

He's not messing up to hurt you. He's doing it to get rid of the pain inside of him. He does care about you, but why does he push you away sometimes? Why does he insist on going backwards, when you have been on the way to happiness for so long? You know he is human. That relapses happen, but he's supposed to be grown up. He's supposed to be ready to have a kid and get married and be an entertainer and be Shane Grey. He's supposed to be perfect.

But he's not and it's killing you.

Your head starts hurting so badly. And the baby is pressed on your bladder. You just want the pain to stop. So badly. You close your eyes to try to sleep it off, but almost immediately your phone starts to vibrate. You look at it before picking it up, seeing the new text message sign on the welcome page. You sigh and almost gasp for air before crying again. You do not want read what he has written but you want him near. Maybe it's that you want Shane, but not his problems. You obviously love him, but you are just one person. Can you help him? Or would it be easier to just give up on him?

Well, of course it would be easier.

But love isn't easy.

You sniff and cough, before squirming and opening the message. _I love you, _it reads.

It breaks your heart even more.

--

You have not lain in bed for a whole day in such a long time. It feels pathetic and sad, but you cannot help it. Shane has respected your wishes; he has not called you for the past couple days.

But you cannot help but wish he had.

The baby keeps kicking and pressing on random places. It feels so heavy in your stomach and almost hurtful. You know you need to call someone but when you reach for your phone, you do not know who to call. Eventually you speed dial your mother, closing your eyes as the rings go by. When no one picks up, you throw the phone aside again. "Damn it." you curse under your breath. You jump when you suddenly hear a long bang come from outside. You uncomfortably stand up and go to your window, looking as the rain comes down hard. The branches of a nearby tree keep hitting the glass loudly.

Sucking in your breath sharply, you open your mouth and let an involuntary scream out. You bang your fist angrily against the window, hitting it instantly, before backing away. "Shit!" you scream, kicking a nearby chair. "I hate this." You continue, grabbing some clothes that were on the bed and throwing them on the floor. You knock down picture frames and lotions and whatever else is on your night table as the pressure on your abdomen increases.

And that's when you feel it.

Pain - white hot pain traveling straight in your lower body. You scream out again, grabbing the arm of the chair you kicked to help you lower your body. This time, changing positions did not make the pain go away. "Holy shit." You breathe out, as the pain continues for at least a minute.

And then nothing.

You are almost hyperventilating at this point. Your mind is muddled but you try desperately to remember everything you learned in those damn Mommy and Me classes. Breathing out slower, you move your body to try to reach your phone but soon you realize no more pain is coming your way. Your shoulders eventually relax and you start breathing normally again. After ten minutes, you feel okay again.

You play with your phone as you lean against the chair. Closing your eyes, you speed dial _the_ number. When he picks up, he sounds tired and absolutely sad. "Hey, baby." He whispers, with an underlining relief.

"Shane." You choke out before clearing your throat forcibly.

"Hey. Hey." He tries to soothe you. "Are you okay?" he asks, concern going into his voice. That always surprised you - how he can tell when something is wrong with you even if you are only on the phone. You try to answer but your throat is still tight. After a while, he connects the dots. "Are you going in labor?" he asks, his voice alert.

You clear your throat again. "I think so." You answer honestly. "But I have only had one contraction - one true one anyways. Do I go to the hospital?" you wonder out loud, leaning your head against the chair once more. Suddenly, the pain hits you again - abeit not as painful as before. It starts at your lower back before traveling to your abdomen. You moan in pain.

"Oh, Mitchie. Wait for me, okay? Call Dr. Goodgold to see what he wants you to do. I'll be there soon, okay?" he says sympathetically and worriedly. You sigh and nod, before uncomfortably squirming.

"Hey, Shane?" you whisper softly. He pauses, the only thing coming out of his mouth is a sigh. "You're the bay's father. That's why I'm calling you. My mom didn't pick up, so… this doesn't change anything." You mumble, tears doubling in your eyes. He doesn't say anything and after a beat, he hangs up.

Closing your eyes in pain and heartbreak, you feel like sleeping and never waking up. Instead, you call your doctor and listen to his directions. Just as you hang up the phone, the doorbell rings. You groan before somehow raising yourself off the floor, putting a hand on your stomach. After all this time, all these months, the baby is finally coming and you have never been more scared. Everything is wrong. "Shit." You curse as you make your way downstairs. The door immediately haunts you, making you shiver and tighten your arms around yourself. It takes you a couple seconds but you finally open the door.

He has not shaved in a while and his hair is a mess. He has his glasses on and a random beanie thrown over his curls. When he looks at you, his eyes are intense. They are no longer sad, but now they are a little angry as well. You swallow loudly before stepping aside to let him in, clutching your lower back in pain as you do. You gasp, eyes closing automatically when he presses his hand on the aching skin. "Shane." You breathe out as his fingers slip under your shirt, touching your burning skin.

"When did the contractions start?" he asks gruffly, his eyes snapped onto you. You gulp again and brace your shoulders, getting away from his touch.

"Like twenty minutes before I talked to you. I've been trying to time them. The doctor says that I am having mild ones. They should be done here at home, but as soon as they are closer together, we should go to the hospital. He wants me to be comfortable apparently. He suggested a hot bath." You try to remember all your doctor told you. Shane nods and you mistakenly look his way. The second your eyes meet, you feel like crying again. You try to get out of intensity of the glaze but his fingers dart out in front of him. He lightly pushes your chin so you will face him. "Shane." You whisper, almost exasperatedly. You can hear the exhaustion in your body when you sigh, but he ignores it.

"Tell me you don't love me." He says in an even voice. Your breath gets stuck in your throat. The entire atmosphere in the room changes. You feel like your heart might explode in any second. You repeat his name, barely hearing your own voice. Suddenly, he is trapping you against the wall. He puts hands on either side of your stomach, still looking you dead in the eyes. "Tell me that you don't love me." He repeats, this time a little harsher. "Tell me that everything we've been though has been for nothing. Tell me that we haven't changed and that we are worthless together. Tell me that you have given up on me and that you don't want my problems. Tell me that you don't love me!" he yells, stepping in closer. You can hardly talk. Not because you are afraid, but simply because you have no idea what to say. You can feel your eyes burn with tears as he searches your eyes. "Tell me, Mitchie." He growls under his breath.

Finally the tears come rushing up and you cannot hold them back. You try to turn away from him but he once again forces you to look at him. "Shane, please. Don't do this now. I'm starting to go into labor. This isn't the best time." You tell him, wiping your eyes and shaking slightly. He scoffs, shaking his head.

"I want to be this kid's father. I won't be the person who gets him every weekend. I want to be in their life and most importantly, I want to be in yours. So, I will be." He finishes fiercely. "That is, unless you tell me you want me gone. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you hate me, then everything will be over. I will leave you alone." He promises, his eyes still so intense. You open your mouth but nothing comes out. Suddenly, he steps in closer to you, stepping in between your legs to hold you in place. "Because I love you, Michelle Torres and I refuse to let you go. I'll change the bad things about me. I'll stop doing drugs. Whatever. Just know, _I_ _will not let you go_." His breath is hot against your mouth as he looks into your eyes. "So, tell me that you don't love me." He taunts again, raising an eyebrow threateningly.

You blink away a few more tears. "You are an asshole." You say weakly, looking down. You take a shaky breath. "That wasn't why I broke up with you. Actually! I didn't even break up with you. You are such a prick. You think you can come to my home and attack me this way. I don't need you. I could… I could get some other guy to be our child's father. I-I-I can shut you out if I wanted to. You don't control me!" You remind him, poking him hard in the chest. He rolls his eyes, ignoring your words.

"You know that wasn't an '_I don't love you'_ right?" he points out, before grabbing your arm carefully. He lowers his head, capturing your lips in a gentle but still firm kiss. He backs you up against the wall, putting his hands on your stomach. You gasp as he runs his tongue across your bottom lip, allowing him to deepen it. You cannot help but sigh into the kiss. It has been so long since you have had him in an embrace.

But, you shouldn't be.

Right?

You shouldn't be kissing him.

Why again?

Because he's going down a road you do not want him to. But, you can change that. You can help him. You can be there for him and convince him that everything will be okay. He can be okay again. He can be. With you. With your help.

He moans into your mouth softly and you realize how intensely you have been kissing him back as well. You cannot help it; you've missed him so much. But then, _it_ comes back. "Oh!" you break away from him, closing your eyes in pain as a contraction hits you. Shane gasps softly, his eyes wide - devoid of the intensity he had minutes ago. You try to breathe in and out like they taught you as Shane brings you close to him so you can lean on him.

"You okay?" he asks, putting his hand on your lower back. You clear your throat and nod, the pain lessening. "Okay, then I'm going to set the bath. Let's get you upstairs." He says, slightly out of breath. Shane starts to move but you stay put, your hand resting on your stomach.

"That wasn't fair." You whisper, feeling your heartbeat try to go back to normal. "Of course…I love you." You breathe out, shaking your head. "That isn't the problem. My problem is that I need you to be mature. I need you to be-" you say, but he cuts you off.

"Perfect, Mitchie! You want me to be fucking perfect, but I'm not. I'm just a kid, Mitch. Take away the fame and the money and the music, and all you will find is a kid. I make mistakes. My little brother is in the hospital. I'm scared. I'm so scared. And I'm so stressed. I'm sorry that I messed up, okay? It wasn't my intention to hurt you. It wasn't about you at all. Please, Mitchie, realize that I never meant to hurt you. I love you, baby. I love you and I need you to forgive me so that we can move forward, I'll get help. I'll do whatever. I just don't want to lo-se you." His voice breaks and he looks away but you saw the brightness gather in his eyes.

"Promise me this won't happen again, Shane." You say after a while. He looks at you and nods immediately. You let out a breath and look down, just as he walks forward. His arms snake around your waist before he pulls you for a hug. "Please, Shane. I need you so badly." You whisper as you lay your head on his collarbone.

He scoffs weakly. "Yeah? Because I distinctly remember you just told me you could find another guy. Who is this guy, Mitchie?" he asks, his fingers poking your side as he tries to shake away the emotion. You squirm and try to push his hands away. "Huh? Huh? Is it Nate? I always knew you two had something going on behind my back." He teases you lamely, sniffing slightly. You just shake your head and hug him tighter. He sighs deeply. "We need to stop fighting. The stress has put us both in this horrible place. We need a serious vacation. As soon as Nate is okay again, I'm taking everyone somewhere. We need to get out of here." He says, putting his chin on top of your head.

You breathe out softly but do not answer him. You just keep holding him.

He rubs your arm. "You know, for the girl who wanted me to give her space, you are hugging me pretty tightly." He says, obviously joking but his heart isn't in it.

"I can stop if you want me to." You say seriously, not even looking at him. He chuckles slightly and shakes his head no. He breathes in deeply before exhaling. Suddenly, he pales and he looks at you with wide eyes again. "What?" you whisper, tensing slightly. He separates from you, looking straight down to your stomach.

He puts a hand on it. "You're going into labor." He whispers, as if he just realized that. "Holy shit."

--

The ride to the hospital is quiet. You watch as he grips the wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white. "Shane, it's going to be okay." You say, but anxiety is biting inside of you as well. He looks at you but says nothing before reaching over and grabbing your hand in his. He kisses the palm of your hand softly.

"I missed you." He admits, his voice as sweet as honey. You swallow softly and look away as the car comes to a stop at a red light. "I'm sorry." He looks down ashamed. "For all the hurt I've caused. I'm sorry.' He pinches the bridge of his nose before putting his hand back on the wheel. "I feel so disappointed in myself that I reverted back to that. I honestly thought it was my only escape, but now I realize that it was wrong. I could have lost everything. You, the baby, myself. I'm honestly very sorry." He tells you quietly, still looking down. You stay silent for a while before reaching your hand and brushing back his hair.

"I almost called you like a hundred times." You bite the inside of your lip. "I don't like fighting with you. But if you promise, I believe you." You repeat and he gives you a small smile. "Let's put this past us. Like, let's leave it in the past. We're going to start a family in less than forty eight hours. Let's make it the most we can. I believe in us. I hope you do too." You say, looking out the window.

He squeezes your hand. "I do." His voice is so beautiful to you. You smile at him, putting a hand on your stomach. You look at it and tears gather in your eyes. Nate is still in the hospital. There has been no change that you know of. The doctors are saying he might die or he might recuperate in seconds. It's all up to him now. Sighing, you realize how ironic it would be if he died as you were giving birth. "I believe in us more than ever if we can move past this. We need to find happiness." He says with a sigh. You swallow before looking at him.

"I agree, Shane. I agree." You rub his arms softly. "I'm sorry I yelled at you and everything." You say back, squirming slightly. He stays quiet but nods. Suddenly, another contraction hits you and you moan in pain. He looks at you with wide eyes. "Jeeze." You mutter, putting a hand on your lower back. "Can this baby come out already?" you groan as the pain intensifies. "This sucks." You say, putting your head against the window.

When you get to the hospital, you go quickly to the maternity ward. Shane helps you in a wheelchair and pushes you to the main desk. "Hi, my wife's in labor." Shane says to the lady behind the counter. The nurse rolls her eyes but doesn't look up, handing him a stack of papers and monotonously telling him to fill them out. Shane looks at the papers briefly before looking up at the nurse again. "Can you please find us a room?" he asks sharply, making the nurse look up.

Her eyes go big when she sees your lover. "Um, s-sure." She stutters, standing up abruptly. She calls someone to bring you to a single room. You sigh and shake your head at Shane, who promptly shrugs and rolls his eyes. "This way." She tells you, pointing at a black nurse who is waving at you. The two of you set off to where they assign you to go silently.

As soon as you are alone again, you glare at Shane. "You are a jerk." You sing, with a small pout. Shane rolls his eyes again, and instead of answering you, takes your face in his hands. He brings himself close to you before kissing your lips. He gives you a deep kiss before you hear someone clear their throat behind you. Gasping, you break away from the kiss and look into the eyes of your boyfriend's mother.

Ms. Grey is tired - you can see that clearly. Her eyes are red and her hair is a mess. The usual heels are nowhere to be seen and her clothes are crumpled. But, there is a smile on her face. "Cut that out, you two. I swear, she is about to give birth and you still cannot control yourselves." She says drily, before pushing Shane slightly away from you. She looks at you then, her eyes soft. "Where have you been, honey? Nate has been asking for you." She tells you, coming close to brush your hair back.

You shrug, going red slightly as pain goes through your body. "I felt bad." You whisper with a frown. She gives you a strange look. "I didn't want to intrude." You mumble and her confusion grows. She looks at Shane for a second, but he just turns away from her eyes. "Is he okay?" you ask, changing the subject.

Ms. Grey purses her lips. "Nate will be fine, I hope. But how are you, baby?" she asks, rubbing your shoulder soothingly. You look at her surprised, shocked that she even cares. Obviously, she notices because her smile falters. "I know these past few months have been hard on all of us, but that doesn't mean I don't consider you part of the family now. You are a good girl, Mitchie. And I cannot wait to have this little grandchild. I know he or she will be perfect." She tells you before pulling you into a hug. You shoot Shane a bewildered look over her shoulder but hug her back.

"Thanks, Ms. Grey." You whisper as you squirm on the bed. Suddenly, the doctor comes in and starts directing you. Shane gives you a scared, amused look as Ms. Grey goes back to Nate and you prepare for what's to come. With one last squeeze of your hand, Shane kisses your forehead before resting his hand on your stomach.

Everything will be okay.

You are starting over. From this moment on, everything that you have been through is in the past. Shane's suicide attempts. Shane's drug use. Your attempts. Your own addictions. The fights. The hurtful sex. The meaningless sex. The lies. The pain. The tears. The bruises. The sadness. All of it will be in the past.

From this moment on, you will begin a new life.

**XXX**

**Sandra (C) **


	45. Chapter 45

"**The sky's a blackboard high above you. If a shooting star goes by, I'll use that star to write "I love you" a thousand times across the sky" Teach Me Tonight - Dinah Washington**

Teach Me Tonight

Epilogue

You shiver as you start walking up the path, pulling your long trench coat closer to your body. The leaves on the ground crinkle under the soles of your feet as the sun completely sets and disappears. Anticipation and excitement start growing in your chest, as well as nostalgia and wonderment. You walked this hidden path so many times back when you were fifteen, nothing stopping you from seeing his face. He was your drug. You were addicted to him. You worshipped him.

You still do.

You smile when you finally reach the cabin, noticing a single solitary light on where you presume he is. He doesn't know you are coming tonight, but that's okay. You know the element of surprise could be a helluva a turn-on, and that's what you're going for really. Taking another look around, you notice the tranquility of this place. All the trees and the lake - so beautiful and peaceful. You smile again before looking back at the cabin and slowly walking towards the entrance. You take your time climbing up the steps, making sure to not cause any noise. When you raise your hand to knock on the wooden door, you are bombarded with memories of all the times you came here looking for sex or love or something from him.

How things have changed.

The noise of your knuckles hitting the door vibrates through the forest it seems, and you put a hand to your mouth to keep in a giggle when he finally opens the door. His hair is messed up, sticking up all over the place while his clothes are messy and wrinkled. His eyes, dull and tired seconds ago, widen and suddenly a sly smile goes on his face. The next thing you know, he grabs your arm, pulling you into his cabin before pushing you up against the wall. His lips immediately find yours in a desperate embrace. You suppress a laugh again as you wrap your arms around his thin waist to pull him closer to you. He moans in the kiss, his hands reaching behind you, lightly resting on the small curve of your back. When you separate, his lips are slightly swollen and his cheeks are rosy. "Mr. Grey, I came here because I heard once upon a time, you were sleeping with one of your students in this very cabin." You say in a low voice that is filled with lust and seduction.

His eyes darken. "You heard right, Mrs. Grey. What's my punishment?" he smirks, his hands enclosing on your hips. He squeezes your skin before stepping closer to you and pressing you up against the wall. His lips brush against yours lightly before he starts nipping at them - softly at first before he starts getting rougher with you. A long time ago, you would have let him use you, fuck you, do whatever to you, but now?

Now, you get to be in control too.

"Now, now." You say, tilting your head away from him with a smile. You lick your lips, your red lipstick smeared a bit. His eyes flash with something and you grin seductively at him, before pushing him backwards until his legs hit the bed.

"What are going to do me, baby?" he says, almost amused. A smile is threatening to overtake his face as you give him a final push and his knees bend. He falls back on the bed with a soft _thump_ but his eyes never leave yours. "Huh?" he questions with a smirk, his eyes bright. You scoff and shake your head, before taking off your jacket and letting it hit the floor. His eyes immediately go up and down your body. You almost laugh at the way he takes in the little black dress you threw on, until his eyes meet yours again. They are filled with desire. "I need you." He whispers.

You bite your lips before straddling him. He breathes in sharply before laughing at himself, as you put your arms around his neck. You pull at the hair at the nape of his neck, making him look you in the eyes so you can trace the side of his face. Suddenly, you move to his ear. "When we were younger, you didn't need me at all. You would _fuck_ me." Your tongue darts out and your lips engulf his earlobe sensually. He moans, kissing at any of your skin he can get at. "And make me leave in the mornings." You remind him, pulling away to look around the room. He ignores you and goes straight to kiss your collarbone, squeezing your cleavage as he does.

You moan but focus on the room. Everything has changed. What used to be a messy teenager's room is now a messy young adult's room. Instead of the random half naked girl posters he used to have, he now has the plaques of all the past three multi-platinum records he and his brothers have realized under Black and Grey Records. Clothes are still slewed around the floor but at least he now has pictures of his family on his night table. "Baby." He whines, trying to get at your lips again. You roll your eyes, thrusting your lower body into his. His mouth opens in a gasp and suddenly he glares at you.

"Not fair." He says with a pout as you chuckle. His hand snakes around until it's tangled up into your hair to pull you close. When your lips fuse together again, you lose yourself in him before letting him pull you backwards. The two of you lie side by side with wondering hands and desperate lips. "God, I've missed you." He says throatily as his hands grab your hips again. Suddenly, he is kneeling you in between your legs for you to spread them. He pushes up your dress up more as he settles, his fingers tickling your thighs.

"You're the one who wanted to help your uncle these two weeks."

"You're the one who didn't want to come with me. Like work is a valid excuse for not wanting to be with me." He mocks as his lips start pulling at your skin again. You sigh when his tongue trails down your front until he is at the swelling of your breasts. His fingers immediately go to your straps, pushing them away roughly. Your breast, still encased in your tight bra, pop out as he pushes the dress down to your waist. He goes back down as soon as he lets go of the fabric, kissing one breast as his hand goes to the other. You open your mouth in a soundless scream when he tongue starts circling one nipple as his fingers start pinching the other.

"Shane." You moan, arching your back towards him. He groans, pushing his lower body against yours. His lips go back to find yours as his hands lightly pull your hair, your breasts flatten against his chest. Your fingers slide down his front until you are at the hem of his shirt, tugging at it as he pulls your bottom lip in his. Moaning, he separates from you to pull the shirt over his head. You frown disappointedly when you notice he still has an undershirt on but he ignores you before going back down on you. He kisses you - once, twice, three times - until you are light headed and pushing him away in order to breathe.

He laughs but falls to your side, suddenly helping you out of your dress. You look around the room again as he slides the material over your hips and down your legs. You smirk, still look away from him, when you hear him breathe in sharply. "Wow." He whispers, his hands falling onto your thighs. He squeezes the skin before his fingers trail up to finger the lace of your underwear. When you finally look back at him, he is staring at your lower body, his eyes going over every detail of your lingerie. You reach your hand up to his face before softly pushing his hair back out of his eyes. He leans into your touch, kissing your palm. "I love you." He whispers, looking you straight in the eyes.

You smile at him as he starts kissing your inner wrist. His teeth nip at the veins, making you gasp and shiver, until he slowly travels down the length of your arm with his lips. You sigh again as he reaches your collarbone, your neck and eventually your lips. "I lost my virginity to you in this bed." You whisper, almost to yourself.

He kisses the underside of your chin. "I lost _my_ virginity to you in this bed." He reminds you, intertwining your hands. You shrug nonchalantly and he growls, snapping his teeth together. You giggle again and fist some of his hair softly to pull him to your lips. He immediately deepens the kiss, pressing all of his weight against your body as his hands travel down your sides. He pulls at the lace of your lingerie but relatively lets it be as he pulls himself up to bring your knees to his sides. He undoes your stilettos, his eyebrows indicating his surprise. You just smile at him. You watch as he carelessly throws the shoes on the floor before taking off his undershirt and throwing you a smile. "Finish undressing me?" he asks. His voice is low and husky and it makes you shiver, but you do as you are asked. Your fingers work against the cold belt buckle slowly.

When you finally get it done, you sit up to lay him down. He goes without a fight, smirking as his eyes darken and you shimmy off his pants. Your eyes travel down his perfect form before your hands join you. His painfully evident bulge grows as you lay your hand on it, cupping him. "Like that?" you ask innocently, with a small smile. He closes his eyes, biting his lip and nodding. "Good." You whisper before pulling his boxers off his body. His eyes snap open when you lower yourself on him. You remember back when he didn't used be comfortable with you going down on him. After the first couple times you did, however, he quickly changed his mind.

"God, Mitchie." He moans loudly when your tongue teases him. "Oh honey." He sighs as you take him in your mouth slowly. You laugh at the way he reacts, your mouth send vibrations down his member. "Fuck. Mitchie!" he jerks his hips up, involuntarily almost choking you. He hardly notices however until you scrape your teeth against his sensitive skin. He gasps sharply, looking at you surprised. You separate from him with a sly smile.

"Whoops?" you say mischievously, laughing as he growls again. Suddenly he pounces on you, falling on top of you. Your hair falls all around you like a halo and you look up at him with bright eyes. His nimble hands go straight to your bra, undoing it in seconds. He throws it haphazardly, much like the shoes. "Hey! Those cost money." You taunt as he glares at you briefly before lowering his head back to your breasts. You hold in a snicker. You know he is too sexually frustrated to continue joking around. He wants you and honestly, you want him too. You've missed him in the past couple weeks.

"I don't fucking care." He whispers darkly in your ear before grabbing your hips and lifting them up in the air. It doesn't take him long for him to take off your panties, but as soon as he did, you feel completely naked.

And you don't mind at all.

He separates your legs again, the smell that is all you hitting his nose. He immediately kisses your inner thigh, biting your skin presumably for payback. It only makes you more turned on. He massages each leg, taking time to do the same ministrations to both. You shiver when his head comes closer to your sex, his hand close as well. Suddenly, his tongue is flicking at your entrance, sucking, licking, doing all he can to make you squirm. "Shane." You choke out, moaning again. "Damn it. " You curse as his fingers start to join the process. He slips one, two, then three fingers into you, making you wetter and wetter for him. "Jesus." You groan throatily as he starts pumping harder.

You swear you can see stars. You can see the world. You can see everything. You can feel him squeezing your skin. You can feel him breathing against you. You can feel his fingers as you clamp down on them. When it finally hits you, you can hardly think. All you do is scream his name, ready for him to completely be one with you again. He smirks at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes as you lay panting and sweating. He runs his hands up your sides before bringing his body over yours. Instinctively, your legs wrap around his naked hips as he positions himself at your entrance.

Instead of going inside you, he starts teasing you. You groan, bucking your hips up. "Shane please." You tug at his hair and he chuckles huskily.

"Tell me how much you want me."

"Shane." You whimper as his fingers go down your body. The vibrations of his laughter is making you dizzy as bites your earlobe. "God, I want you. So badly. Please." You halfway beg,

You gasp as he slides into you, but he sighs softly. He kisses the underside of your chin as he buries himself completely inside you. You can feel every muscle of his body, feel every inch of his skin pressed up against you. "God, this is so amazing." He breathes out softly before bringing his hips up slightly. He lightly slams them back down as you scream slightly into his shoulder. Suddenly, your bodies take over, rocking and grinding in rhythm until he puts his hands on the back of your upper legs. You moan as he flips you over, his legs pulled up a little to give you support. He growls as you push your body down to meet him, taking more of him in you as you do.

Your fingers spray on his chest as he digs his fingers in your hips and push them down. Your eyes are cloudy but you look him in the eyes, brushing back his hair harshly. "That's my girl." He groans at a particularly hard movement before abruptly sitting up and hugging you tightly to his chest. You sigh because it's honestly the best feeling in the world - to have someone supporting you like this, holding you against him, loving you with no reluctance or hesitance.

Such a contrast from the first time you had sex in this room.

--

"I'm glad you came. These girls so have not changed." He tells you hours later as you snuggle up against him. You look at him questioningly, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously. I have way expect a Tess Jr. to be floating around." He mutters before remembering something. "Oh, wait. There so is. She's just like her, except with brown hair. What the fuck ever. She keeps trying to shake her ass in my direction to get my attention." He says with disgust, rolling his eyes.

You laugh. "Doesn't she know there is only one girl who can seduce you on a dance floor?" Smirking, you look up to catch his eye. He laughs before reaching to you and kissing you briefly.

"I have to tell her next time." He says with a smile. Suddenly, he laughs, his cheeks the lightest red. "Actually, the first time I entered that classroom, I totally got blasted with memories of taking you on that floor." He laughs, shaking his head. "We were so bad, Mitchie. Christ." He mutters before digging his head into your hair. He sniffs deeply before moaning. "That's amazing. New shampoo? Or do I just really miss you?" he smiles at you and you brush the hair out of his eyes.

"I miss you too, Shane." You tell him sincerely. He smiles before leaning down and rubbing your noses together. It feels so great to have him so close to you. He kisses your lips again before pulling away and pulling you close to his chest.

"How's my baby girl?" he asks as he digs his head in your shoulder. "How's the whole not wanting to go to school thing going?" he rolls his eyes as he brings the covers over the both of you. You giggle slightly when he brings them above your heads. "What? I like hiding with you." He laughs adorably before putting his head back on your shoulder.

You run your hands through his hair. "She's scared, but everyone says that normal. When we get to the age where the kids recognize who she is we're probably have to pull her out." You sigh as he groans. "But Shawn's doing fine. He keeps repeating 'No!' ever since he learned it. It's pretty annoying - not gonna lie." You laugh though before shaking your head. "He's so your child." Shane laughs and kisses your shoulder.

"What can I say? He's my boy. I taught him well." He says with amusement. He sighs happily before rubbing your nose again. Suddenly, he grimaces and gives you a strange look. You raise an eyebrow questioningly. "If I ever found out that Marie was effing around with some guy three years older than him I would shoot her. Oh my, God." His eyes widen as his face pales. He laughs, as if he is joking, but it is weak. A smile goes on your face before it fades.

"My Dad almost did. Remember?" Your voice is sad for the first time all night. Shane frowns, before nodding in agreement. "I'm glad you stuck with me after that. I never… I still cannot believe he did that." You choke slightly, feeling tears go to your eyes. Shane eyes narrow in concern and he immediately climbs slightly over you to wipe your eyes.

"Hey, hey." He whispers, his thumb brushing your skin. "I loved you, baby. I wasn't going to leave you. Plus, you just had my baby like five seconds ago. I wasn't gonna leave you and I definitely was not going to leave Marie. You two - plus Shawny - mean the world to me. I'm just glad you got away from your Dad and that he is where he belongs." Shane whispers before kissing your forehead. "You know it was in this bed that you first told me that you thought he was cheating on your mother with Dina." He adds absentmindedly with a sad tone.

You snort slightly before rolling your eyes. "I hate Dina and her damn red hair. Like seriously, someone told me her natural hair color is blonde. Like what the fuck." You pout, before sighing deeply. "Poor girl." You suddenly change your tune. "She didn't know what she was getting into when she got with my father. He… destroys everything in his path." You conclude, shaking your head before burying it in Shane's shoulder.

"I still cannot believe he tried to threaten me with a gun. I mean, after the baby shower, I thought he was just insane, but I never thought he would actually do something." He tells you while playing with your hair. You look up at him confused. _"The baby shower?"_ you mouth at him confused. Shane bites his lip. "Yeah, he showed up unannounced at the end. He threatened me at the end. I thought he was just talking, but when he came into your house with that gun, I was so scared. I'm so glad that your mother got so much out of that divorce. Have you talked to him since the restraining order?" he asks, lowering his eyes. You look at him strangely.

You had no idea that your father went to the party, and now Shane thinks you are hiding things from him? Irony? Or just how men work? "No. I'm not allowed to first off, but I would never. I don't ever want to see his face again. Can we stop talking about my father please?" you say uncomfortably, squirming in Shane's arms. He sighs but nods, kissing your shoulder. "Anyways, Marie told me the other day that she misses Jason and them. Maybe we should set up a play date between Allie and her? Marie likes being an older cousin slash sister to little Allie - bossing her around all cutely." You laugh.

Shane smiles. "I bet Allie doesn't appreciate it much, although she's four so what does she know?" he raises his eyebrow before rolling his eyes. You moan in agreement before looking around the dark room again. "There are way too many memories in this damn room, you know that? I mean, some are good or whatever, but… Some kill me, Mitch." He sighs, following your glances. You scrunch you nose, wondering but already knowing what he will say. He presses his lips together. "We never talked about it again, but after you had the miscarriage and we slept together - that night killed me. Like it honestly haunted me for so long." He confesses to you.

You click your tongue. "That was the first time I drank like that. We were so young, Shane. So naïve and scared. We were so different back then." You muse before turning to look at him. "We didn't know what we could have yet, but now, we have our family and that's all that matters." You snuggle in his arms again, but after that the conversation diminishes.

It doesn't take long for sleep to come.

--

Years ago, seven to be exact, a couple weeks after you met Shane, you were in Song Writing with some other instructor besides your lover. In class, you were paired with another boy named Andy. He was sweet but he was a drummer - not a songwriter. He sheepishly let you do much of the work while he tapped his drumsticks against the desk. So for most of the time you were hard at work while he snuck glances at you. You would blush but ignore him, writing your heart away about Shane. "I'm sorry I suck so much." He would always say with a sad smile.

"You don't suck. It's fine, Andy." You would say with a smile shrug. One day in particular, he stayed close to you even after class was dismissed instead of dashing out like normal. You remember looking at him confused with raised eyebrows. "So, I have to go to Hip Hop with Shane now…" you trailed off uncomfortably. He nodded, turning red slightly.

"I know. I'm in your class." He answered, before clearing his throat. "Can I walk you?" he asked, rubbing his reddening neck. You sucked in your breath harshly and froze, but eventually nodded. A big smile spread on Andy's face before he reached over and grabbed your books for you.

Then he walked you to class.

As soon as you got there, you wanted to put as much space between you as possible. Your hands were shaking and your heart was beating fast as your wide innocent eyes searched for Shane. When your eyes seek him out, anger ran through you. Suddenly, you turned back to Andy and smiled brightly at him. He blushed and looked down awkwardly before putting his hand on your lower back to let you walk in front of him. The two of you walked slowly, allowing the crowd of teenagers to gossip about you for two seconds before being forgotten by Shane's actions.

For he was flirting with Tess.

You remember sending the meanest glare in their direction as Tess flipped that perfectly straightened hair and Shane sent her a smirk. People were pointing and whispering - all except Andy. He was clearing his throat again. You snuck a glance at him and he furrowed his brow concerned. "Are you okay? You're red." He asks, bringing his fingers up to brush your hair back just as Shane starts talking.

"Partners today. Try to pick someone you like enough to touch, aight people? Thank y-you." You looked back to wonder why his voice broke and you saw his wide angry eyes glaring at your direction. You pressed your lips together before turning around - almost dramatically - and facing Andy. You gave him a big smile again.

"Partners?" he asked with a shy grin. You nod and got into his arms, following Shane's direction while keeping an eye on his growing anger. After the third time Andy stepped on your foot, you sighed and paused for a second. That's when you heard Tess annoying voice ring through. _"Yeah. He said he's giving me an A for this course. Then again, couldn't expect any different."_ She said with a smirk before giving you a smug glare. She knew you were doing badly in class. Hell, you knew you were doing badly. When you turned to look at Shane, your eyes met for a second.

He was angry with you about Andy, and you were angry with him about Tess. When the class ended, you tried to leave quickly but Shane called not only you but also Andy over. Andy sigh and frowned. "Sorry, teach. I'm the one of sucks. Not Mitchie." He immediately says with a laid back attitude he has never had around you before. Shane bit his lip and raised his eyebrow.

"Oh yeah. And why's that?" Shane asked calmly, although it still sent shivers up your spine. It drove you crazy that he could make you mad but still make you turned on. Suddenly, Andy pulled out a pair of drumsticks before doing a beat on the wall. Shane nods but rolls his eyes. "Maybe you shouldn't be in my class then? Transfer over to Aerobic.?" he suggested, faking sympathy. Andy's face lit up for a second before he remembered you. He shuffled and glanced at you briefly before clearing his throat. "It will be easy to do. It will be your requirement for exercise." Shane continued to play up the class.

Andy bit his lip before nodding. "Thanks, Shane. Maybe you're right." He said with a smile before frowning at you. "Well, at least we still have Songwriting, right?" he shrugged before looking at his watch. "Whoops. Piano Comp. See you later." He squeezed your shoulder softly before leaving. You and Shane stayed absolutely quiet until five seconds after Andy left.

"What the hell was that?" he hissed between his teeth, his dark eyes glued to yours. You swallowed and shrugged innocently, even though anger pulsed through you. He narrowed his eyes at you before taking a couple steps at you. "I don't want to see you with him ever again, Mitchie. Don't play with this." He threatened lightly, grabbing your hips violently. You scoffed very softly before shaking your head.

"And Tess?" you said pointedly, your chest rising up and down with every breath you took.

Shane pressed his lips together. "She's a good dancer. Shape up and maybe you can be half of what she is. Andy was the one sucking? No, baby. You were." He told you with a shake of his head. You felt tears come straight to your eyes and you immediately turned away from him. His hand snaked out and grabbed your arm. "Hey! You're paying for that - whatever the fuck that was - with Andy." He whispered darkly, pulling you to him. His lips met yours so hard that it almost made you cry, but you did not back down. You were angry and you needed a release.

So, sex it was

--

"So, who's taking care of the kids?" Shane asks you, pulling your hand towards him as you walk by the lake. You practically ignore him as you point at the canoe and start running towards it. You hear him laugh behind you as he runs after you, lightly tackling you to the floor. As you start to fall, his arms encircle your waist, allowing you to fall gracefully.

"Hey!" you pout as he smirks at you before kissing your nose. Suddenly, he is lowering himself to tickle you and bite at your skin. You squirm and laugh under him, throwing his a huge smile. Your hair intermixes with the leaves on the ground and you can feel your back start to get damp by the muddy grass, but you would not change it for the world. Shane is staring back at you with a his hair covering his eyes, looking way too beautiful for you to handle. He leans down and rubs his prickly cheek against your soft one before kissing your cheek.

Suddenly, you hear someone groan from beside you.

Both you and Shane looked up at the same time, looking the person who interrupted you. "Can you two get a room, please? I mean, seriously, you are married. Poor children that have to deal with super sexually active parents. You're gonna scar them for life." A girl says, putting her hands on her hips pointedly. Shane rolls his eyes and sticks up the middle finger at her, prompting you to smack him. He laughs and goes back down, putting his head on your shoulder. You run your hands through your hair before looking at your best friend. She rolls her eyes at you but smiles. "I love you two even if I want to stab Shane with a dull knife."

"Caitlyn!" you laugh, as Shane finally gets off you. He helps you up softly before brushing you're the grass off your back and rear end and then doing himself. "You are a bitch." You tell her, pointing at her mockingly. Caitlyn grabs her heart and pretends to be hurt, making you and Shane laugh again. You pull Caitlyn in a light hug. "How are the kids?" you ask in her ear.

Caitlyn waves you off. "Oh, they're fine. They're with your mother." She says before glaring teasingly at Shane. He growls at her before rolling his eyes and smiling. He grabs her roughly and pulls her in a tight hug, making her pretend to grimace. "Ugh, Mitchie - tell your husband to stop hugging me. He smells of bad soap." She says before yelling when Shane puts a handful of leaves down the back of her shirt that he had picked up. You gasp loudly and just stare, as Caitlyn's eyes darken with anger. She clicks her tongue as Shane gets out of her arms and starts backing away, snickering all the while. "Oh, it's on, Grey!" she says and suddenly the two are running around throwing leaves at each other.

You chuckle but do not join in. Instead, you sit at a picnic table and watch them, keeping an eye on their safety as they get more and more into the fight. "_I can't live without you, but without you I'll be miserable at best."_ You hear your old favorite song come from your phone. Taking your eyes off your best friend and husband, you open the phone. "Hello?" you whisper with a smile on your face.

"Is your refrigerator running?" comes a deep, obviously masked voice.

You smirk and almost laugh out loud. "Um, I believe so." You fake innocence. The guy on the other line chuckles.

"Well, then you better get it Nighthawk." He jokes softly. You roll your eyes and he snickers. "By the way, all plans are set. Everything is in place. Where's Shane?" you sigh softly and look at the pair, your eyes widening when you notice they moved the fight to the lake. You wonder who pushed who briefly before turning back to the phone.

"Trying to kill our best friend. You know how Cait and Shay do. They will murder each other one day, I swear." You shake your head before smiling. "So where are you? Alexis texted me the other day. Is she still going to come tonight?" you ask, getting comfortable on the wooden bench.

He sighs. "Mitchie, me and Alexis broke up like ten minutes ago." He says, almost laughing at the end.

You roll your eyes. "Nate, you and I both know this will last twenty minutes before either you go back to her or she goes back to you. So, I rather have you two together, if you don't mind, for tonight because I've grown to actually like the girl. So grow a pair and either forgive her or ask for forgiveness. And that's final." You add when he starts to say something. "I mean it! You two have gone through too much bullshit for you to give up on each other." You scold him and he sighs.

"Yes, Mitchie." He says monotonously. "Plus, I just bought the flowers to say sorry." You laugh internally. You knew it would be his fault. You look up when you see a drenched Caitlyn sit down across from you. She huffs and crosses her arms. _"Is that Nate?"_ she mouths. When you nod, she steals the phone.

"I fucking hate your brother. He pushed me into a muddy, dirty lake. Do you know how much that sucks?" "I don't care Nate." "Yeah, well - all I'm saying is explain to Mitchie that her husband might not be able to produce anymore kids in the future." You laughed at that one, especially when you notice Shane pushing his body out of the body. "Anyways, are you coming with Alexis tonight?" "Oh, really? Oh, maybe that's for the best. You can come stag. We can go together." "Oh, okay. Never mind then. Good luck." You frown at the sadness in her voice. You squeeze her wet shoulder softly when she hangs up.

"He says bye." she whispers, trying to be nonchalant. You squeeze her shoulder again. Suddenly, she throws her hands up. "I thought we were gonna get together, Mitchie. I mean isn't that just like written in every story. The main couple get together and the best friends do too? I really like him, but no! It's Alexis this, and Alexis that. I thought after the accident a zillion years ago, he would finally realize what a bitch Alexis is." She rants angrily.

You sigh. "Alexis is a great friend, Caity. I mean, sure she was annoying brat before, but she's a good person. She's been there for Nate all through his rehab and helped him walk again. I mean, he's completely okay right now solely because she was there for him twenty-four-seven. She's even been there for you when you and Nate got in that big fight. She helped you be friends again." You point out with a frown. Caitlyn almost glares at you, rolling her eyes. You put a comforting hand on her thigh. "Baby, we need to find you a new guy. Like Henry! You were with him for a couple years, remember? No Nate Grey bothered you. You need to stop pining for him." You advise her.

Eventually, Caitlyn nods. "I guess I have to realize that in real life the best friends usually do not end up together." She whispers into the wind

--

Tomorrow is Shane's twenty-fifth birthday, and you and Nate have been planning a hug party for at least half a year. You are actually the reason why Brown _needed_ help in Camp. Of course, he had enough money to pay for a new counselor, but he convinced Shane that the camp was almost about to go into foreclosure and he could not afford a new teacher. So, Shane like a dutiful and still apologetic nephew said he would come - just like you predicted. "He was forced last time - for PR." Nate told you, trying to convince you Shane would never go for it.

But you know your husband.

"There's my baby boy." You smile brightly when you reach the cabin Brown gave your mother for the time being. Your mother looks up from the steps where she is with your son.

"Momma!" he says, throwing his hands up and reaching for you. You smile at him, wincing as his tiny fingers dig into your skin. He gives you a tight hug. You laugh and hug him back, before kissing the top of his forehead. Your mother gives you a smile before pulling you both in a hug. She kisses your forehead like you just did to your own child.

"Where's Marie?" you ask, climbing the stairs as your child clings on you. Looking down, you peer into your husband's brown eyes and your light brown hair. Shawn is such a mix of the two of you; it's unbelievable.

"With me." A voice calls from inside of the cabin. Your face softens as you enter the room and see your daughter and your mother-in-law playing cards on the bed. "Hey, sweetie." She says with a warm grin before throwing her arms out to indicate she wants a hug. You smile and go to her, giving you a tight hug. "How have you been, honey? I feel like it's been forever since I've seen you." You laugh before going to your daughter.

Marie has her dark curly hair pulled in two pig tails with a nice little pink sundress. You tickle her nose before kissing her cheek. "Hey, lovely girl. How was staying with the grandmas?" you say, sitting behind her. You pull her to your chest. Marie looks up at you, giggling slightly before showing you her hand.

She comes close to you. "I'm going to win, Mommy. Grandma Cat stinks." She says, trying to whisper. Your mother-in-law laughs before shaking her head. Suddenly, Marie hugs you too, almost punching her brother. "I missed you, Mommy. Can we see Daddy? Where is he? He owes me chocolate." She pouts at you, her light blue eyes - the same ones Catherine Grey has - sparkling in the light.

You laugh, shifting Shawn in your arms as he starts to doze off. "Um, Daddy fell in the lake." You say with an amused expression. Both your mother and Ms. Grey look at you with surprise. You wave them off. "He's fine. He's taking a shower to get the mud off him, but he's be here soon." You say just as someone knocks on the cabin door. You tilt your head backwards to see your little _brother_ walk in. "Hey, Nate." You say just as Marie's face brightens.

"Uncle Nate!" she squeals as Nate chuckles under his breath. He goes to her and picks her up, spinning her arm carefully. She laughs mirthfully and he smiles, but you can tell something is wrong. His movements are a bit forced and he looks out of it.

"Hey, Marie, baby." You tell your daughter as Nate sits her down again to give your mother and his mother kisses on their cheek. "Stay with Grammy One and Two. Me and Uncle Nate have to talk." You tell her, running your hands through her soft hair. She nods at you, going back to her previously forgotten cards. Still carrying your son, you pull Nate outside.

Nate over the years has grown up completely. He is not a little boy anymore, and lately for the band, he is the front man. Now that his brothers are married and with kids, he is the go-to hot guy. Right now, he is wearing a white shirt with a leather jacket and skinny jeans, a pair of aviators sitting on his face. "Alexis is quote unquote done with me. She thinks I'm cheating on her." He says, shuffling his feet.

You frown. "You know Caity is interested right?" you say softly. He winces and looks away.

"She's like my sister, Mitchie. I just… can't. I'm sorry." He mumbles an apology. You press your lips together and nod.

--

"Thank you for throwing this party, baby. It means a lot." Shane nuzzles your neck as you move onto the dance floor. There are hundreds of people around you, but you love how Shane makes you feel like you are the only person in the world around him. "Where are the kids?" he asks as he spins you around. You laugh, thinking back at how Marie made fun of Shane when he came to your mother's cabin for falling in the lake.

"They are with Jason. Allie and Marie are playing, and Shawn's sleeping. I think he's coming down with something." You tell him, worry creeping up in your voice. Shane frowns but hugs you to his chest. For a long time, the two of you just dance to the random songs the deejay plays, not looking at anything else but each other's eyes.

You fell in love at this camp.

And now, you have come full circle. Coming back here these last few couple of days have made you feel fifteen again, but also have made you realize what Shane is to you. Of course, there are problems and there have been set backs, but you aren't kids anymore. Little nor big things knock you down anymore; the two of you have each other. You support one another, telling each other everything. Nothing is left unsaid. Nothing is hidden. You are husband and wife, best friends, and lovers.

You are everything to each other.

When you wanted to go visit Sierra's grave for the first time, he was beside you. When Nate was in the hospital, you held his hand. When your father tried to separate you, you stood by Shane and Shane stood by you. When your father didn't walk you down the aisle - not that you wanted him to - Shane understood that you needed to cry. When his father didn't show up to the reception, you allowed him to be angry. When you confessed to him you wanted another child, he smiled widely and nodded.

It's been seven years, but love has not waned. It has only grown.

Shane hugs you tightly to his chest, putting his arms around your waist as you move slowly to the song playing. It is a jazz song by Dinah Washington but being covered by Amy Winehouse. It's very old but for some reason, you absolutely love it. "What song is this?" Shane asks after he realizes you are singing along.

You smile up at him, shrugging your shoulders. "Teach Me Tonight. Isn't it amazing?" you whisper softly against his chest. He laughs and nods, humoring you as you dance to the song. "I love you Shane." You say kissing his cheek. He moans slightly, smiling at you. "And I'm so thankful I met you."

"Same, Mitchie. Same." He says before spinning you again.

**XXX**

**The End.**

**Wow, I feel like throwing up - seriously. I feel so sad and accomplished and happy and very very sad and I did not want to finish writing but I had to and it's over.**

**And I'm sad. **

**But this is it. it needed an ending and that was final. A whole year writing for you guys has truly changed me. This story has meant everything for me. This girl - Mitchie - was/is very close to my heart. **

**Thank you to every single one of you who has supported me and has stayed with me through thick and thin.**

**Thank you to Sabrina who has betaed and been there and loved me. Thank you for being here love. Thank you so fucking much. Thank you for listening to me and helping me and arguing with me. Thank you for everything.**

**To my reviewers, thank you for believing in me. Thank you for never backing down. Thank you for these reviews. Thank for understanding and for your sympathy. Thank you for your love.**

**To the Jonas Brothers, specifically Joe, thanks for being hot haha.**

**I love you all. **

**And once again - **

**The End.**

**Sandra**

**PS - new story. It is called The Undeveloped Story and it is up at : **http://www. fanfiction. net/s /5467308/1/The_undeveloped_story (Take out spaces)


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